I am simply astounded by my fawn response- I 1) have difficulty being aware that I am doing it 2) when I catch myself after the fact I feel terrible about myself 3) my efforts to not fawn often express in explosive, off putting behavior- yelling, stomping around, crying that are not very fun for anyone 4) I feel very very lonely and as if I don’t exist 5) I don’t know how to stop this effectively Looking forward to hearing more about it
Oh wow... what a high level of self awareness you have! I resonate with literally everything in your share. Bless you for giving words to it, I feel less lonely in this now. ❤
This is so healing and revealing. I have had a tendency to isolate for decades because I'm so programmed to fawn. Over the past 20 years I've gotten so much better at finding healthy friends, yet I still have extreme social anxiety. I am so glad I have your resources. Actually glad is a lame word for how transformative this all is for me. I don't even have a word that accurately reflects my deep appreciation...
In 2019 I was shocked to see myself after a guy insulted me and was almost in tears when I arrived home I sent him a sweet message. Couldn’t believe myself I did this. I couldn’t understand why I was so nice to someone who hurt me. I now realise that is just a response. I hated for years this nice nice me.
This was so enlightening - while I was familiar with the fawning response, this helped me see a deeper layer of it and how it shows up in my business. I’d love to hear more about navigating this response and how to balance meeting it with love *and* taking supportive action. Thank you for your wisdom 💎
Thank you so much for this content! My lightbulb moment was "freeze + performance". Makes so much sense for me. I've been fawning on a daily basis, mistaking it for being social, polite and friendly. And I'm noticing that I am full of anger and resentment towards others, because they "want too much", they "are crossing my boundaries" etc.. - but in reality, I'm creating that pressure myself through suppressing my own needs! How can I stop this projection onto others, and how can I safely release the immense rage that has built up inside of me over the years?
Hello Luis, I am a first time watcher. My name is Eileen and I am in my 70th year. I have been recovering for 6 years now…. From it ALL. With all respect…. I think you are beautiful and 🙏🏻 for this teaching today. I will go and learn more from you🌷
Thank you, Luis, for this and all you share. I'm 56 years old, learning, growing and healing in all of this and just when I think I understand my journey something else mind blowing comes along and peels back more layers that don't serve anymore,freeing me even more. I'm so grateful. Thank you. You literally just described me in a way I never could and I so appreciate the part about niceness. I can see that I haven't really known myself, but the little bit I did know and have as a solid bit of identity was that I did want to be kind, to put kindness out there in the world, and the struggle has been in the blur between the authentic me and the fawning as you clearly explained it. Thank you! A deep authentic intentional thank you to you. I'll probably come back and share more as I listen again.
I notice in myself - on top of the symptoms you mentioned - an immense pressure to entertain the other person by not allowing moments of silence, not letting the conversations die and also making sure the person is engaged and super entertained. How to find pleasure in social interactions if the body feels so overwhelmed to the point of almost fainting?
Thank you for this, Luis. It’s been sobering over the last year to see that I’ve been fawning in all friendships of any length, having learned as a child to stay safe through blanket pleasing. My question; in your experience, does life bring in new people who model and reflect the changing landscape in me? A few long term relationships haven’t weathered the changes, and there’s just a little ‘eek’ going on, albeit against a background of much greater ease and presence🙂🙏
I’ve been working on catching myself fawning and trying to shift the story in the moment. It’s very confusing for me; my throat chokes up and I don’t feel safe to express what I need to so I tend to automatically start mumbling or coughing or seeking a distraction so I can avoid saying what is true for me, which is also not what I want to do and creates conflict in itself, but I’m terrified of the other conflict that will arise from my honesty. My partner is quite reactive so it makes it hard to say what I need to. And I need to speak up so that things can change so that I can feel safer. How can I flip the script?
I found that I am living with both. I am fawning to the minimum to keep a relationship going to create less trauma at the end. It is now a conscious fawning. There is a need to keep it going so I can feel safe to still be in the container (family going through estate process) . After then I will be true and give a chance to this relationship. Not sure as there was definitely a pattern, transgenerational for sure. Does it make sense to have a controlled, conscious fawning.?
I am so proud and thrilled for the work you are doing! Ive long known you were one of a kind and a gift to all who encounter your energy.
I am simply astounded by my fawn response- I 1) have difficulty being aware that I am doing it 2) when I catch myself after the fact I feel terrible about myself 3) my efforts to not fawn often express in explosive, off putting behavior- yelling, stomping around, crying that are not very fun for anyone 4) I feel very very lonely and as if I don’t exist 5) I don’t know how to stop this effectively
Looking forward to hearing more about it
Oh wow... what a high level of self awareness you have! I resonate with literally everything in your share. Bless you for giving words to it, I feel less lonely in this now. ❤
This is so healing and revealing. I have had a tendency to isolate for decades because I'm so programmed to fawn. Over the past 20 years I've gotten so much better at finding healthy friends, yet I still have extreme social anxiety. I am so glad I have your resources. Actually glad is a lame word for how transformative this all is for me. I don't even have a word that accurately reflects my deep appreciation...
"
In 2019 I was shocked to see myself after a guy insulted me and was almost in tears when I arrived home I sent him a sweet message. Couldn’t believe myself I did this. I couldn’t understand why I was so nice to someone who hurt me. I now realise that is just a response. I hated for years this nice nice me.
This was so enlightening - while I was familiar with the fawning response, this helped me see a deeper layer of it and how it shows up in my business. I’d love to hear more about navigating this response and how to balance meeting it with love *and* taking supportive action. Thank you for your wisdom 💎
Thank you so much for this content! My lightbulb moment was "freeze + performance". Makes so much sense for me. I've been fawning on a daily basis, mistaking it for being social, polite and friendly. And I'm noticing that I am full of anger and resentment towards others, because they "want too much", they "are crossing my boundaries" etc.. - but in reality, I'm creating that pressure myself through suppressing my own needs! How can I stop this projection onto others, and how can I safely release the immense rage that has built up inside of me over the years?
Hello Luis, I am a first time watcher.
My name is Eileen and I am in my 70th year.
I have been recovering for 6 years now…. From it ALL.
With all respect….
I think you are beautiful and 🙏🏻 for this teaching today.
I will go and learn more from you🌷
Thank you, Luis, for this and all you share.
I'm 56 years old, learning, growing and healing in all of this and just when I think I understand my journey something else mind blowing comes along and peels back more layers that don't serve anymore,freeing me even more.
I'm so grateful.
Thank you.
You literally just described me in a way I never could and I so appreciate the part about niceness. I can see that I haven't really known myself, but the little bit I did know and have as a solid bit of identity was that I did want to be kind, to put kindness out there in the world, and the struggle has been in the blur between the authentic me and the fawning as you clearly explained it.
Thank you!
A deep authentic intentional thank you to you.
I'll probably come back and share more as I listen again.
I notice in myself - on top of the symptoms you mentioned - an immense pressure to entertain the other person by not allowing moments of silence, not letting the conversations die and also making sure the person is engaged and super entertained. How to find pleasure in social interactions if the body feels so overwhelmed to the point of almost fainting?
So well said!!! Precise and discerning!
Brillliant!
Thank you for this, Luis. It’s been sobering over the last year to see that I’ve been fawning in all friendships of any length, having learned as a child to stay safe through blanket pleasing. My question; in your experience, does life bring in new people who model and reflect the changing landscape in me? A few long term relationships haven’t weathered the changes, and there’s just a little ‘eek’ going on, albeit against a background of much greater ease and presence🙂🙏
I’ve been working on catching myself fawning and trying to shift the story in the moment. It’s very confusing for me; my throat chokes up and I don’t feel safe to express what I need to so I tend to automatically start mumbling or coughing or seeking a distraction so I can avoid saying what is true for me, which is also not what I want to do and creates conflict in itself, but I’m terrified of the other conflict that will arise from my honesty. My partner is quite reactive so it makes it hard to say what I need to. And I need to speak up so that things can change so that I can feel safer. How can I flip the script?
Thanks ✨️
I found that I am living with both. I am fawning to the minimum to keep a relationship going to create less trauma at the end. It is now a conscious fawning. There is a need to keep it going so I can feel safe to still be in the container (family going through estate process) . After then I will be true and give a chance to this relationship. Not sure as there was definitely a pattern, transgenerational for sure.
Does it make sense to have a controlled, conscious fawning.?