I have to appreciate Drew, I remember when he started, it felt more like assisting, asking questions, now he's like a full on host, he drives the conversation, he's got so much more confidence and knowledge!
honestly this was more philosophical and much wanted , tbh i like ur content for philosphy and psychology . pls give us more valuable episodes older ones were bit drag. as a years long fan, we would love if you talk about existentialism, and mundaneless of life
31 here, and knee deep in the crisis coming out of phase 2. I'm a software engineer who can't choose a subfields to focus on, and keeps applying to jobs in other areas, and then backing out, and doing personal projects related to... a ton of different stuff. Feels like I'm just spinning my wheels. I also have phases where I get obsessed with the idea of working in some other completely unrelated field. Same with hobbies - my main hobby is music, but I play 5 different instruments and can't focus on one or two. And I keep randomly getting obsessed with completely unrelated things. I feel awful about it all time time, because I'm not really good at anything, and I know I just need to choose something, but... it's so hard. Luckily, I'm pretty secure in my relationship, so that's something at least.
Having that realization at 31 is awesome. I started having those feelings at 31 but didn't really understand what was happening and did not start grasping the concept of getting really good at a few things until 10 years later. Being a jack of all trades has always felt right to me but it is much more challenging to get good at a lot of things at once (obviously). Probably unpopular opinion but my advice as someone 10 years older would be to follow the most money/biggest payday for now. Which instrument do you feel most pulled to play when you are exhausted and unmotivated? Increased net worth = more options in all aspects of life and it will set you up to be able to continue following your curiosity. I turned down a lot of opportunities because it didn't feel like it was perfectly for "me" and because I felt like I would get bored quickly so I kept searching. At some point the searching for the perfect thing starts to feel uncomfortably wasteful especially when you are hyper aware that time is passing every day. Money buys time, buys more experiences, and buys access. You might find yourself with an entirely new set of distractions but at least you'll be able to afford to try them whether with time or money.
I'm on stage 3. I still seem to mourn stage 2. I also have no idea how to progress to stage 4. Life feels very repetitive - Very comfortable, but in many ways also very pointless.
I really appreciate what you put on your podcast. I look forward to it from time to time. I'v been following you and reading your newsletters, Mark. I love your straightforwardness to every topic and I feel the same on a certain topics. You and Drew are the best team on this podcast. Thank you! ❤ from The Philippines! Anyway, Drew, I'm single 😂😂😂
35:45 But everything is all about the packaging-even the whole self-development industry. At least (let's say) 80% of what we hear is not profound. We just need people and books to remind us of what is good for us, to keep moving forward and becoming the best versions of ourselves...and Drew, I totally get what you mean based on the book. The way I got it is that life can be much more fun and happy when you put in a conscious effort daily to constantly explore new adventures, people, and activities, no matter how boring it may sound or how many times you've travelled or done something similar. Consistently putting in the effort every day to find something interesting in anything can also lead you to a happy place... like trying to see something interesting in sitting alone in a room, xD. I hope I didn't sound too vague either!
Happiness is an over-used state of being. We're responsible for creating our own "happiness". If we can't generate it from within, we can't expect it to come from without.
I feel like all I do in life is work, commute, cook, grocery shop, clean, yard work, and desperately try to fit in a workout. Where's there room for any level of meaning or happiness? I miss my friends, my hobbies, the sun, but I don't know how to cut back on any of these things, especially as the cost of living goes up. Please tell me there's more to life than this.
Uou nice. About the first minutes, as long im aware of what im feeling when i start doomscrooling, i will reallly quick getting bored of it. At least for me it feels like so much subjects are going in my direction, i feel excited, and then seconds after i forgot what was it. And this for me is frustrating, and glad it is, cause is the reason i will never be addicted to social media. Another important thing i noticed is that some people use it to "relax". If something can relax you like reading or a massage, you will get sleepy. You hardly get sleepy while on instagram, so its not really relaxing you, just distracting you, and is not the same thing. is my opinion
How do we accept our feelings? A lot of people says to accept whatever negative feeling we have towards a lover, a friend, a family member etc, but no one actually explained how to embrace those feelings and push through.
What i normally do when I feel something, be it anger,longing, sadness and anxiety, I don't fight it. I just let it pass through me. I feel like my heart is a stone, and all this feelings are like waves of sea, which are coming lapping on my stone and going away..like waves do. When I stand defenseless infront of them, that's when they retreat. And slowly slowly all those feelings stop being so dominant and poignant. However the time they are crashing on me, it is terrible but it passes only when you try not to control. Just let it come. It gets tired after a point of time. Also if it gets overwhelming in a way that I think the stone of my heart can't bear it, I talk to people, or I write something or I distract myself in something else.
I have similar problem but pointed in other direction. I am keenly aware of what is going on in the world. For years now, and I think it made me a very unhappy person. So where is this border between engaging in things that are important, but you ultimately feel you have no impact on, and just not giving a fuck about anything.
Maybe by thinking of those things on a smaller scale. Engage in things that make an impact on the people you care for and those in your community. It will probably feel more meaningful than trying to impact the world. If everyone did that, the world probably could be impacted in a good way.
No, a college graduate today has little opportunities. It's hard for you to see since you're wealthy and in a bubble. The job market is shit, even for stem fields.
WAT? This reminds me of "Tell us a true, one-sentence story from your life that absolutely opens more questions than is answers and demands further context."
Hmm... For me personal it's probably both. After shitty experience not that I became sadder, but it became hard to smile, and so the existential crisis left its scars, and now it just seems to me that I died at 23, but I will be buried when my body dies physically.
The '4 stages' was one of mt favourite articles from way-back-when. I can certainly appreciate the awkward of 'such I be invested in this Conflict or Cause, blah blah blah' but my uncle thought is as kids what he called 'Eamonns Law: the 3 states of Does It matter: There are things you HEAR about. Things you THINK about. And things you CARE about Don't confuse the 3. Sure the struggles in East Yemen or North Macedonia, matter but you only HEAR about them. You might even THINK about them. Is it really smart or right for you or me in Suburbia to Care them though? 🤔
About the first: 1. Am I getting the complete picture/information, or is was this only to provoke? 2. Does it matter after a week? 3. Could I change these peoples opinion, if given a true change? Or more importantly, why do *I* feel bothered about this, is this something that is truly problematic or something that deeply disagree with, or held a different view of. And then ask yourself: Does this give some new piece of information about myself, or is this just another repetition of what I already knew. There are plenty of narcissists online, both vulnerable and grandiose, but if even they are, it's own a problem because of what they do/say (and where) that makes it problematic in itself. Most people are only "fools" because they refuse to consider others opinion's as valid, even when only to that person. No one does anything without reason, ever, they just don't know why they do it, know thyself, and you will know others the same.
I also feel like I get annoyed by social media, news, etc. much faster these days. I think this is partly because the internet is kind of dying. Every social media is either trying to serve some super generic memes or manipulate me in some way and it gets pretty boring.
Of course not. You can commit to many diffrent things. Maybe for you"settling down" is dedicating yourself to your passion or career. It's all about choosing what you really want in life
Love the discussion and I wonder how much of the four stages could be split between professional and personal life. I.e. I feel like I'm in Stage 3 for my professional life (I'm very committed to my work which I love) and Stage 2 for my personal life (still finding the hobby to commit to, the person to settle down with etc.)
Ahh. Mark, I have some things that I give a fuck about and I think are worth giving a fuck about, but get criticized constantly for giving a fuck about them, I'd like to chat with you about some possible approaches to dealing with this.
I have to appreciate Drew, I remember when he started, it felt more like assisting, asking questions, now he's like a full on host, he drives the conversation, he's got so much more confidence and knowledge!
Sokka vibes fr
honestly this was more philosophical and much wanted , tbh i like ur content for philosphy and psychology . pls give us more valuable episodes older ones were bit drag. as a years long fan, we would love if you talk about existentialism, and mundaneless of life
the fact that nobody talks about Unveiling Your Hidden Potential by Bruce Thornwood speaks volumes about how people are stuck in trance
I have so much appreciation for DREW and witnessing him growing and improving 🎉❤
Yeah he is totally my YT crush.
He got me when he couldn't stand the idea of brunch and guided meditation in one of the vids
all of your videos click with the things I've been reading in the book 'Magnetic Aura', warm recommendation to everyone
The simple question deserves a simple answer.
Enough is enough. By definition. QED. 💪🏻🤣🤣🤣
Drew's been on a roll in this one🤣🤣 nice episode
I think Periphery in the intro is what got me hooked with this podcast
Great episode!
Love you so much❤
31 here, and knee deep in the crisis coming out of phase 2. I'm a software engineer who can't choose a subfields to focus on, and keeps applying to jobs in other areas, and then backing out, and doing personal projects related to... a ton of different stuff. Feels like I'm just spinning my wheels. I also have phases where I get obsessed with the idea of working in some other completely unrelated field. Same with hobbies - my main hobby is music, but I play 5 different instruments and can't focus on one or two. And I keep randomly getting obsessed with completely unrelated things. I feel awful about it all time time, because I'm not really good at anything, and I know I just need to choose something, but... it's so hard. Luckily, I'm pretty secure in my relationship, so that's something at least.
Having that realization at 31 is awesome. I started having those feelings at 31 but didn't really understand what was happening and did not start grasping the concept of getting really good at a few things until 10 years later. Being a jack of all trades has always felt right to me but it is much more challenging to get good at a lot of things at once (obviously). Probably unpopular opinion but my advice as someone 10 years older would be to follow the most money/biggest payday for now. Which instrument do you feel most pulled to play when you are exhausted and unmotivated? Increased net worth = more options in all aspects of life and it will set you up to be able to continue following your curiosity. I turned down a lot of opportunities because it didn't feel like it was perfectly for "me" and because I felt like I would get bored quickly so I kept searching. At some point the searching for the perfect thing starts to feel uncomfortably wasteful especially when you are hyper aware that time is passing every day. Money buys time, buys more experiences, and buys access. You might find yourself with an entirely new set of distractions but at least you'll be able to afford to try them whether with time or money.
I'm on stage 3. I still seem to mourn stage 2. I also have no idea how to progress to stage 4.
Life feels very repetitive - Very comfortable, but in many ways also very pointless.
The Subtle Art of Not Being in Focus
😂
I really appreciate what you put on your podcast. I look forward to it from time to time. I'v been following you and reading your newsletters, Mark.
I love your straightforwardness to every topic and I feel the same on a certain topics. You and Drew are the best team on this podcast. Thank you!
❤ from The Philippines! Anyway, Drew, I'm single 😂😂😂
35:45 But everything is all about the packaging-even the whole self-development industry. At least (let's say) 80% of what we hear is not profound. We just need people and books to remind us of what is good for us, to keep moving forward and becoming the best versions of ourselves...and Drew, I totally get what you mean based on the book. The way I got it is that life can be much more fun and happy when you put in a conscious effort daily to constantly explore new adventures, people, and activities, no matter how boring it may sound or how many times you've travelled or done something similar. Consistently putting in the effort every day to find something interesting in anything can also lead you to a happy place... like trying to see something interesting in sitting alone in a room, xD. I hope I didn't sound too vague either!
Happiness is an over-used state of being. We're responsible for creating our own "happiness". If we can't generate it from within, we can't expect it to come from without.
I feel like all I do in life is work, commute, cook, grocery shop, clean, yard work, and desperately try to fit in a workout. Where's there room for any level of meaning or happiness? I miss my friends, my hobbies, the sun, but I don't know how to cut back on any of these things, especially as the cost of living goes up. Please tell me there's more to life than this.
I feel you. I feel the same.
Not a concern for Marky Mark... He's kind of in a bubble thinking that graduates today have more opportunities 😂
Great video and knowledge thank you!
This is so profound and makes tons of sense ❤🙏🏼
Uou nice. About the first minutes, as long im aware of what im feeling when i start doomscrooling, i will reallly quick getting bored of it. At least for me it feels like so much subjects are going in my direction, i feel excited, and then seconds after i forgot what was it.
And this for me is frustrating, and glad it is, cause is the reason i will never be addicted to social media.
Another important thing i noticed is that some people use it to "relax". If something can relax you like reading or a massage, you will get sleepy. You hardly get sleepy while on instagram, so its not really relaxing you, just distracting you, and is not the same thing.
is my opinion
How do we accept our feelings? A lot of people says to accept whatever negative feeling we have towards a lover, a friend, a family member etc, but no one actually explained how to embrace those feelings and push through.
What i normally do when I feel something, be it anger,longing, sadness and anxiety, I don't fight it. I just let it pass through me. I feel like my heart is a stone, and all this feelings are like waves of sea, which are coming lapping on my stone and going away..like waves do. When I stand defenseless infront of them, that's when they retreat. And slowly slowly all those feelings stop being so dominant and poignant. However the time they are crashing on me, it is terrible but it passes only when you try not to control. Just let it come. It gets tired after a point of time.
Also if it gets overwhelming in a way that I think the stone of my heart can't bear it, I talk to people, or I write something or I distract myself in something else.
37:08 My favorite part 😂 I was watching it seriously until Mark started making fun of it lol.
loved this episode. keep on.🌱
I have similar problem but pointed in other direction. I am keenly aware of what is going on in the world. For years now, and I think it made me a very unhappy person.
So where is this border between engaging in things that are important, but you ultimately feel you have no impact on, and just not giving a fuck about anything.
Maybe by thinking of those things on a smaller scale. Engage in things that make an impact on the people you care for and those in your community. It will probably feel more meaningful than trying to impact the world. If everyone did that, the world probably could be impacted in a good way.
😂 This episode is superb. 👏👏👏 Thanks for the great content everyone 👍🎉🌟
Happiness is everything
I just want to say; thanks
i enjoy this episode!
No, a college graduate today has little opportunities. It's hard for you to see since you're wealthy and in a bubble. The job market is shit, even for stem fields.
Winter tech?
Love your conversation about psychologically rich life 😂
I resonate with this so much, I am in transition as welli am in stage 3 but transitioning within stage 3... And it has nothing to do with age.
WAT? This reminds me of "Tell us a true, one-sentence story from your life that absolutely opens more questions than is answers and demands further context."
perfect timing
i don't understand why Drew is single....
I know. He got quite a few fans lol
do we become more sad after growing old or the world becomes more boring because theres not many new things left?
Hmm... For me personal it's probably both. After shitty experience not that I became sadder, but it became hard to smile, and so the existential crisis left its scars, and now it just seems to me that I died at 23, but I will be buried when my body dies physically.
The '4 stages' was one of mt favourite articles from way-back-when. I can certainly appreciate the awkward of 'such I be invested in this Conflict or Cause, blah blah blah' but my uncle thought is as kids what he called 'Eamonns Law: the 3 states of Does It matter:
There are things you HEAR about.
Things you THINK about.
And things you CARE about
Don't confuse the 3.
Sure the struggles in East Yemen or North Macedonia, matter but you only HEAR about them. You might even THINK about them.
Is it really smart or right for you or me in Suburbia to Care them though? 🤔
About the first:
1. Am I getting the complete picture/information, or is was this only to provoke?
2. Does it matter after a week?
3. Could I change these peoples opinion, if given a true change?
Or more importantly, why do *I* feel bothered about this, is this something that is truly problematic or something that deeply disagree with, or held a different view of. And then ask yourself: Does this give some new piece of information about myself, or is this just another repetition of what I already knew.
There are plenty of narcissists online, both vulnerable and grandiose, but if even they are, it's own a problem because of what they do/say (and where) that makes it problematic in itself. Most people are only "fools" because they refuse to consider others opinion's as valid, even when only to that person. No one does anything without reason, ever, they just don't know why they do it, know thyself, and you will know others the same.
Well, my stages of life went more like: 1 -2 - 3 - (major events) 2 - 3 - 4 - (not done yet - ok, now what?) - 2 (I am 64).
I also feel like I get annoyed by social media, news, etc. much faster these days. I think this is partly because the internet is kind of dying. Every social media is either trying to serve some super generic memes or manipulate me in some way and it gets pretty boring.
@@cnxghost Yeah, I mostly did. I am pretty much on youtube only now.
yes !!! Just be :) !!!
Is it crucial to have kids in life? or we can move on to 3rd stage in different ways?
Of course not. You can commit to many diffrent things. Maybe for you"settling down" is dedicating yourself to your passion or career. It's all about choosing what you really want in life
Clip this #FckOfTheWeek at 30:58
Love the discussion and I wonder how much of the four stages could be split between professional and personal life.
I.e. I feel like I'm in Stage 3 for my professional life (I'm very committed to my work which I love) and Stage 2 for my personal life (still finding the hobby to commit to, the person to settle down with etc.)
Hahaha hippie Drew was pretty funny
Ahh. Mark, I have some things that I give a fuck about and I think are worth giving a fuck about, but get criticized constantly for giving a fuck about them, I'd like to chat with you about some possible approaches to dealing with this.
Please write a new book !!! I will buy it i