It's been years and I am still not over them literally handing Alexander Bram Stoker's Dracula to catch him up. The framing device of that book is the same as this game, a diary. Harker hands over his diary. He literally just handed him Dracula, the novel!!!
We've had our fair share of idiotic protagonists on Retsupurae, but Alexander has to be the first one who listens to the villain outright admitting his guilt, and then goes "hm, he seems to have some kind of issue. I'm starting to get slightly suspicious". "I found him standing over a drained corpse, it's blood running from his fangs and all over his "I
Nick Farmer The game's golden ending is for Alexander's suspicions to be true. Every other is either him dying or giving up from unable to solve this mystery.
+google account In a shocking twist, someone will look at his journals in the final scene of the game and it's just page after page of frowning stick figures with fangs. And crudely drawn horses.
God dammit, they really want this to work. The actors, the creators, they really, really want this whole game to work. But it just... isn't. And on a related point ELLO GUV'NOR SWEEP YOUR CHIMNEY I WILL I WILL.
Every time a Retsupurae video ends, I always see a video thumbnail preview with Princess Elise on it. The Sonic 06 RP is done and over with now, yet she still continues to haunt us.
+AceAttorny Evening draws in and he's standing outside the house staring at his watch. Everyone arrives: Harker, van Helsing, Uncle Tom Cobbley and all. They all shuffle past the weird Texan pretending they don't see him and go inside.
+Strikerslash I am dutch myself and I am still not sure Van Helsing was supposed to be dutch (In the book he certainly was more German) also the name really speaks for itself
+Midnight Voyager Apparently Helsing is a Finnish last name, which makes this even weirder. An Irish writer creating a Dutch character with a Finnish name.
Yeah, I find that people need a good definitions list when it comes to vampire stuff, so here's one: Vlambeer: Independent developer behind Gun Godz, Super Crate Box, and Nuclear Throne. Vampeer: What happens if you get bitten by Vlambeer. Vampier: A wooden structure where vampires park their boats. Wumpire: A hidden materia in Final Fantasy 7 that allows you to umpire two baseball games at once. Wompire: A noise created when hitting a vampire (or maybe Vlambeer, but definitely not a Vampier) with a blunt object. Dhampir: What happens when a vampire gets caught in the rain.
So just to be clear, if you show a tiny little cross to a vampeer, they go running away like a total pansy. All you need is a tiny little wooden cross. Oh no. What threatening villains. How will the poor humans ever defeat them.
I am strangely invested in this hot garbage, I tune in every episode. Tbh it's mostly for the cab drivers, but for some reason I want to know where this is going.
Vampire, Vampeer, Wompire, I don't even know anymore. I'm pretty sure if a man of Spanish descent is going to speak entirely in English, you would think he'd pronounce vampire the way most English speaking folk do. Or at the very least, you'd think he'd pronounce it that way since it's not even him speaking and just the main character reading it in the man's voice.
I like Devlin. Aside from having a name that reminds me of Hostess Debbie, his little drunken dropping the keys moment seemed like it actually had some verb in it. Even if that verb happens to be 'hamming'.
This is both a sequel to Dracula and also somehow copying entire plots so far (Find+Replace Lucy with Juliet) and it doesn't seem to follow the continuity of its prequel considering Renfield died in the first and... Wait I get it, this is just elaborate fanfiction!
In the background image of "The people trying to figure out the plot", is it me or is there a dog in the middle of the picture? And a fella in a gas mask in the back towards the left?
One thing I don't understand about Sega CD FMVs are why bother if your actors can't even pass as soap actors. I mean, I don't think actors in the 90s were all terrible so why are almost all of them just abysmal?
+Tarik Afflick Probably because this was before games had gigantic budgets. Community theater actors are cheaper than competent ones. A few FMV games (Wing Commander 3 being the typical example) did spend extra money to actually get experienced actors people have heard about, but even that isn't a guarantee that it won't be super goofy (see Ripper). Although to be fair, a lot of the goofiness in Ripper comes from the terrible writing.
+Tarik Afflick FMV games were stupidly expensive. Think of the usual cost of an average video game, with programmers, producers, sound designers, graphics, etc. Now imagine you also have to add everything a movie (even a cheap one) needs, actors, cameras, light, movie edition, etc. Logically, they had to go with the cheapest they could find to stay afloat..
Mantis47 BugPope Fair enough, I mean I didn't expect that much from a B-Movie like game but would it really have killed then to hire cheap AND decent actors?
In short Alexander, your brother's adventure was much more exciting than the one you're currently on.
It's been years and I am still not over them literally handing Alexander Bram Stoker's Dracula to catch him up. The framing device of that book is the same as this game, a diary. Harker hands over his diary. He literally just handed him Dracula, the novel!!!
The carriage driver turning out to be Dracula would be the best twist right now
+ThermiteKitten The Horse is Ol' Nelly, not the driver.
+wittyreviewer turns out it's just Cain(e)
Vampeers are friends and colleagues of vampires.
and also wompires.
Quincey died doing a cool party trick
We've had our fair share of idiotic protagonists on Retsupurae, but Alexander has to be the first one who listens to the villain outright admitting his guilt, and then goes "hm, he seems to have some kind of issue. I'm starting to get slightly suspicious".
"I found him standing over a drained corpse, it's blood running from his fangs and all over his "I
You might be 99% right, but that 1% must be taken with a deep serious thinking.
+Valdetiosi True, let's not jump to conclusions.
+BugPope We should send a telegram to Father Janos and see if he'll confirm our suspicions.
Nick Farmer
The game's golden ending is for Alexander's suspicions to be true. Every other is either him dying or giving up from unable to solve this mystery.
+BugPope
It would be most unwise for our Young Mr. Morris to jump to conclusions, based on one's fashion sense. Everyone had a "I
love how the most endearing character so far is the cab driver and his talent of multiple accents.
You know, with so many games based on Lovecraftian monsters, an old-fashioned Dracula plot is actually refreshing.
"Dear diary,
This dude was wasted, so I totally jacked his keys, bro!"
+AceAttorny Before permanent markers, they had to use quills to draw dicks on drunk people's faces.
Damn it feels good to be gangsta
+Red fridge Forsooth, 'tis most satisfactory to adopt the office of a brigand.
+Red fridge Grand Theft Carriage
I love the over-exhaling newspaper guy... We need more of him.
hhhuuuuutrrhh over exhaling newspaper guy (thuurty thrree) haaaaaaaaaah read some shitty newspaper stories huuuuurrrhhh
2:28 a vampier is where you park your vamboat
"Some kind of European language. It's impossible to be any more specific."
+calvinjluther it's actually English, alexander is illiterate.
+google account In a shocking twist, someone will look at his journals in the final scene of the game and it's just page after page of frowning stick figures with fangs. And crudely drawn horses.
google account He *is* from Texas.
+BugPope And penises. Don't forget the penises.
TackyRackyComixNEO But Victorian penises, so they have little coats and hats on.
Before I saw the professor, I thought Alexander pulled out that cross like one of Wile E. Coyote's speech signs.
Ha ha me too!
God dammit, they really want this to work. The actors, the creators, they really, really want this whole game to work.
But it just... isn't. And on a related point ELLO GUV'NOR SWEEP YOUR CHIMNEY I WILL I WILL.
CHIM CHIMINEY CHIM CHIM CHER-IE, I'M DRIVING THE CARRIAGE AS DRUNK AS CAN BE
CHIM CHIMINEY CHIM CHIM CHER-OO, I'VE GOT A BAC OF 0.2
CHIM CHIMINEY CHIM CHIM CHER-LAY, WHERE WILL. WE BE OFF TO. THIS FINE DAY?
I get the feeling Van Helsing is going to try to sell me Rosebud Frozen Peas any second now.
Full of country goodness and green peaness.
Delaterius I hear Misses Pell's frozen fishsticks are even better when you're undead.
+AceAttorny Aaaah, the French champagne.
+AceAttorny What luck. There's a french fry stuck in my beard.
MeatWisdom "What luck. There's a french fry in this burned down asylum."
You could say that Van Helsing's accent has earned Betus's 'ire.
Let's not go anywhere tonight, driver. Zoetrope and chill?
goo i'ea siiir!
Vampeer is one of my favorite indie developers, I can't believe they are a creature of the night.
Every time a Retsupurae video ends, I always see a video thumbnail preview with Princess Elise on it. The Sonic 06 RP is done and over with now, yet she still continues to haunt us.
IT'S NO USE!!!
"Just give him a bad German accent. That's the same as Dutch, right?"
Ja, I am thinking it is, danke fur da wunderbar suggestioning you are doink!
"They were so earnest!"
Wait, those are bitcoin hunters, not vampire hunters.
I always thought Earnest Evans was a bit weird.
I just want the whole game to be Devlin and Van Helsing talking to each other.
7:43
"I will be leaving some medicines in your womb."
+Nick Farmer And then it turns into a hentai game.
+Nick Farmer I honestly just scrolled down to see if anyone else caught that...
and we may be creating little wampeeer, ja?
Somebody should mod the carriage VA to replace Skyrim's one.
"Oi, Whiterun it is then, guv'nor!"
"This can't be! How the hell are we brothers!? We don't even speak the same dialect!"
We actually see a vampire for the first time and it's immediately dismissed.
Morris's reaction, "Well, I better head off to the bar after that."
Anyone else love this Devlin guy? He's a genuinely good actor, he's great.
He's great I agree, obviously way hamming it up but its a Sega CD game, you may as well have a laugh
CARRIGE DRIVE WHY CANT WE JUST TALK ABOUT MY FEELINGS?!!?!?! it's always about where i'm going, when i just want to stay here. with you. :(
+ophios YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, CARRIAGE DRIVER
Back to Electrical Beast's Carriage Simulator 1885.
*Pass Time*
WHOOOAAA-HOOOOOOOOAAAHHHH~
+chaffXgrenade "Bettah buttah yur coat, sahr."
+chaffXgrenade This is how you don't play Dracula Unleashed.
stawp mekkin fun ow me accent, sir
And the keys fell!
SYMBOLISM!
Am I right?
"Hello, and welcome to Bad Video Game Beatdown!"
"Dear Diary,
They was frightened"
😂😂
1:12
"Oh, he isn't here, is he? Would this knife persuade him to come home faster?"
+AceAttorny Evening draws in and he's standing outside the house staring at his watch. Everyone arrives: Harker, van Helsing, Uncle Tom Cobbley and all. They all shuffle past the weird Texan pretending they don't see him and go inside.
Nick Farmer "Just ignore him. The doctor says it's normal for him."
Okay I hadn't really to listened to the story but when I heard "It was the Bloofer lady!" that totally caught me off guard. lol
Hellsing sounds awfully whimsical for a savage monster hunter...
Haven't you seen those japanese animes? Hellsing: Dracula Unleashed OVA? Alucard's so funny and whimsical!
+BlueReznor I'll let you know it's a Dutch name and in Dutch it's...
no wait it's still super silly in Dutch
+Strikerslash
I am dutch myself and I am still not sure Van Helsing was supposed to be dutch
(In the book he certainly was more German)
also the name really speaks for itself
+Amitlu Yeah, he's Dutch, but... he lapsed into -German- in the books. Dutch-German?
+Midnight Voyager Apparently Helsing is a Finnish last name, which makes this even weirder. An Irish writer creating a Dutch character with a Finnish name.
"Vampeer" is how we say it in French.
Well, that explains why a Prussian would say it that way.
Isn't he supposed to be Dutch?
4:18 is my face when I get to talking about Mode 7 and Draculur.
Diabetus doing Mr. Parker's voice for Harker made me laugh so much I had to stop and rewatch it a few times.
Vampeers and Wumpires and nonsensical exposition, oh my!
+tomatopipps Is a Wumpire anything like a Wumpus?
+Nick Farmer A Wumpire is the guy enforcing the rules when Vampeers play baseball.
Yeah, I find that people need a good definitions list when it comes to vampire stuff, so here's one:
Vlambeer: Independent developer behind Gun Godz, Super Crate Box, and Nuclear Throne.
Vampeer: What happens if you get bitten by Vlambeer.
Vampier: A wooden structure where vampires park their boats.
Wumpire: A hidden materia in Final Fantasy 7 that allows you to umpire two baseball games at once.
Wompire: A noise created when hitting a vampire (or maybe Vlambeer, but definitely not a Vampier) with a blunt object.
Dhampir: What happens when a vampire gets caught in the rain.
+OptimusSledge And a Vampeer is the place by the beach where all the Vampires hang out.
+tomatopipps I think you mean Wempires.
So just to be clear, if you show a tiny little cross to a vampeer, they go running away like a total pansy. All you need is a tiny little wooden cross. Oh no. What threatening villains. How will the poor humans ever defeat them.
The one downvote? The carriage driver.
"Also, why did his brother had a big fucking knife? When did that work on vampires?"
Well, what if it was a stake knife?
Nice reference to that comet game... Had me rollin'
"Wompeer"
"Vampire"
"Vampeer"
"Ehh, close enough. You're hired"
Just noticed for the first time: as Helsing's inspecting Julia (7:22), he's humming her crazy song 😲
🤣
Vampeer: A friend that pressures you into being flamboyant.
Anthony Hopkins' acting is spot-on.
Devlin just reminds me of Douglas from the IT crowd and if it was this game would be fantastic.
+TheNejD Lol, the twist should be that Juliet used to be a man and Devlin misheard it as "From Iran" ;) BTW Obvious villain is obvious.
Vampire horses?
How... bizarre...
No stranger than vampire cows and bunny rabbits.
And adventurous.
A "Bill Lambier's combat basketball" reference? Damn.
So... We have a vampire, vempire, and woompire problem ?
That's a lot of -pire !
Sunset was at around 4pm. No, really. Dunno why the birds are still making a racket an hour later.
6:07
Wouldn't the horses be vampmares then vampeers?
Dracula at 4:16 "ow! what the fuck, dude??"
I am strangely invested in this hot garbage, I tune in every episode. Tbh it's mostly for the cab drivers, but for some reason I want to know where this is going.
I just realized who Van Helsing sounds like! He sounds exactly like Professor Ludwig Von Drake!
A vampyr is what basically everyone outside of the US and UK calls a vampire, guys.
Morris is like a more awkward Nelson Van Alden.
I'll have a cup o' Quincey, please.
Am I the only one who sees the thumbnail for this video as a guy in a hat getting scared by Elmo from sesame street with a torch in it's left hand?
Arthur drinking wine at 3:19, something Dracula canonically does not do.
That Beatles joke lmao!
I think Castlevania Bloodlines was a much better sequel to Bram Stoker's Dracula. And also on the Sega Genesis!
11:24 - SHE'S ILL :)
11:44 - I can't believe you've done this.
there's a DVD version of this game and I think its a must have to my collection
Today I learned that the Dutch sound like a fucked German-Swedish mix
Vampire, Vampeer, Wompire, I don't even know anymore.
I'm pretty sure if a man of Spanish descent is going to speak entirely in English, you would think he'd pronounce vampire the way most English speaking folk do. Or at the very least, you'd think he'd pronounce it that way since it's not even him speaking and just the main character reading it in the man's voice.
13:50 And the game is called Metal Vampir Solid.
When wandering Victorian London at night, be sure to keep an eye out for whompers.
Devlin is Ted Mosby from HIMYM's finest performance.
I like Devlin. Aside from having a name that reminds me of Hostess Debbie, his little drunken dropping the keys moment seemed like it actually had some verb in it.
Even if that verb happens to be 'hamming'.
But there are lots of birds at night. At least in my area. During the late spring it's actually pretty hard to sleep since they are so goddamn loud.
Halfway through the game and the coachmen still have new things to say.
This game is great. I'm looking forward to the Saved By The Bell sequel starring Zach Morris.
holy f! slowbeef just gave a shoutout to my favorite snes game ever!
combat basketball
I love how this is rehashing the Lucy arc from the original book so shamelessly.
Such a shame that a Vampier gave Juliete a hicky.
We must keep this from Romero.
Am I the only one who thinks that the first carriage driver in this video sounds like the guy from the Euclideon videos?
This is both a sequel to Dracula and also somehow copying entire plots so far (Find+Replace Lucy with Juliet)
and it doesn't seem to follow the continuity of its prequel considering Renfield died in the first and... Wait I get it, this is just elaborate fanfiction!
It still bugs me that Alexander's brother has a completely different accent than him.
In the background image of "The people trying to figure out the plot", is it me or is there a dog in the middle of the picture? And a fella in a gas mask in the back towards the left?
Eat at Burger Vampire Lord! Home of the Whomper!
So when are we gonna hear ElectricalBeast's cameo as one of the cab drivers?
+Portal Freak 'ello! Can you take the weel for a bit, I'm currently busy 'wit Big Boo's 'aunt!
love the video description by the way.
Abraham Van Hellsing voiced by Ludwig Von Drake.
Does he mean a dhampir, like a half-vampire instead?
Yeah, that's not quite how I would react to a Juan Pierre attack.... :\
Oh God, this acting.
PLEASE can the carriage driver be a vampire.
Was Quincey the same actor as Alexander, but wearing a fake mustache?
Can wombats turn into wampires?
+Nik Neuy don't feed them garlic after midnight
13:53 More like Metal Gear 2: Solid STAKE amirite? ...
most languages pronounce it vamp-eer, english is the odd one out saying vamp-ire
In Swedish it's Vamp-yr.
Am I the only one who thinks the sign for HADES CLUB looks like it says NUDES CLUB? 12:31
Mister Parkuh...?~
One thing I don't understand about Sega CD FMVs are why bother if your actors can't even pass as soap actors. I mean, I don't think actors in the 90s were all terrible so why are almost all of them just abysmal?
+Tarik Afflick Probably because this was before games had gigantic budgets. Community theater actors are cheaper than competent ones. A few FMV games (Wing Commander 3 being the typical example) did spend extra money to actually get experienced actors people have heard about, but even that isn't a guarantee that it won't be super goofy (see Ripper).
Although to be fair, a lot of the goofiness in Ripper comes from the terrible writing.
+Tarik Afflick FMV games were stupidly expensive. Think of the usual cost of an average video game, with programmers, producers, sound designers, graphics, etc. Now imagine you also have to add everything a movie (even a cheap one) needs, actors, cameras, light, movie edition, etc. Logically, they had to go with the cheapest they could find to stay afloat..
Mantis47 BugPope Fair enough, I mean I didn't expect that much from a B-Movie like game but would it really have killed then to hire cheap AND decent actors?
+Tarik Afflick If they were good, they wouldn't have to resort to being in FMV games.
Is that Cam Clarke doing a cockney accent?
beware the wombat
Beware the EEL, Beware the WAMPIRE!!!!!!!
+SuitCoat Guy Don't worry, we'll get them with our Space Mehrens!