you did the right thing. there is also vulnerability in negative expression of emotions. if he says he doesnt want or love you, pack your things and go because when people dont thats how they end up on the news and you certainly deserved way better than him
Fast Forward My Girl Glowed Up 💫💫💫 Healing, Living and has a Peace Of Mind ♥️💫♥️💫♥️💫 & Doing the Damn thing must I add . Proof that sometimes thing transpire to release you from situations that you’re forcing or trying to do on your own .. I’m so proud of you Kiara and in addition happy for the kids as well … ♥️💫♥️💫💫 keep doing your thing chica all your heart desires will come ..look how far you’ve come. It’s only going to get better!
Somehow your old videos came up in my feed! It breaks my heart that he is still hurting his family!!! Sometimes these things happen they stay stagnant in order for you to grow and do something completely different! You will never be able to have a rational relationship with someone who is struggling with mental health issues.
I think you guys should stop talking about the relationship for awhile. He needs to actually see what it’s like to not have you for a while, like months. He can’t blame you for the Army wanting him to have a plan, that’s life and he has options. If not he needs be a reserve in the army. You can’t make him change, he will figure out what he wants.
The crazy journey Of the Densons Your missing the whole point of my comment. But I’d expect that from individuals that try to act like they know everything. I know the military doesn’t work like that, but again he has options. That’s the point! OPTIONS instead of blaming her online, he could have been figuring out what he could do to save his career. 😏🤷🏾♀️
Sometimes with men it's a control thing. They see you moving on feeling good about yourself and then they feel like they need to grab a hold of you mentally to bring you back down to that place.
Girl my advise to you is stop crying and stop saying that you love him so much and all that. Grow up and be strong for your kids. Be beautiful and stop explaining yourself to someone who ddoesnt care about anything but himself. He just wants you home so you can take care of the family. He doesnt care about your feelings... 😏
MsHairely'slife facts she be doing to much always praising him all the while he's just hurting her smh you gottah love yourself sum men's just ain't worth fighting for or losing yourself for let that men be move on smh
if your husband had been in the military for a day.. yea sure I could buy his story of “blaming you”.. but serious Des... he’s been in for hella long and he should know first hand as a NCO what that means as a single parent.. so his letter should NOT be a surprise. he’s mad because he refused to step up as a man and do right for his family- he’s mad because he no longer has a live in babysitter for his son and actually has to do right.. and YOU- are not to blame for HIS military career. if they kick him out for his lack of a family care plan.. THAT IS ON HIM! don’t miss out on your own happiness waiting on someone else to miss you!!
👋👋👋WELL SAID!!!! Love yourself first girl. One thing you can't get back is time. You're not going to be young forever you don't want to end up saying " i should of, could of, would of but didn't" believe me i know what I'm talking about
I don't know the back story, however, viewing just a few vlogs. In my humble opinion, your husband has to level up, he is older, suppose to be more mature & the king in his home. He sounds like he may have some other deep rooted issues from his past, that has hindered his emotional capabilities of holding down a healthy marriage. I believe God can do anything, but many times it takes us stumbling in our own mess to humble ourselves & surrender to Him. I also believe there is something in you that is lacking my love. Write down what Kiara deserves in life, all aspects of life. She needs to take care of herself & love herself soooooo much, that anyone toxic can't come in her vibe. Set boundaries girl, go after the goals you've been dreaming about. Release him for a while, because if not you're creating resistance. At the end of the day, we teach people how to treat us. Like attracts like. So become the woman you would most admire. It's ok to cry, but don't stay there, get up start journaling, do vision boards with your son....Plan the life you always wanted & God will set up the universe to bless you with it. God bless!!
I don’t think Desmond is capable of giving you the things you want and need. That doesn’t make him a bad person, he just doesn’t have it to give. I think you guys should take this time apart to reflect and work on yourselves and cease communication with each other until you’re in a better place emotionally.
Treat him how he's treating you. That always seems to slap my boyfriend right in the ego real fast! No one likes it when the shoes on the other foot. (Men and their egos *eyeroll*)
I’m a single mom in the military and you CAN not be kicked out because of that... a letter? Sounds fake lol the army doesn’t send out letters. You two just need to work on co parenting if he has a mission to go on they are authorized to tell him with enough plans to get something together for the kids
Mama Julisicia Right he must have gotten a counseling statement. At this point he must want to get out military. Cause he got options and single mothers do it everyday smh
There is a man out there wanting to be loved by a woman who loves as hard as you. Just wait honey. Focus on your self and be great. (I can’t wait to see videos) I know that he’s your husband and that you will do anything to work on your relationship but God closes one door because he’s opened up another door for you. You keep trying to open up that door that He closed and u keep running into the same wall. Trust me that is a lesson that I have learned personally with a man I thought I would never see myself without. (My sons father) Now i met my soulmate who loves me SO HARD and will do anything for me even when we fight. I have been so blessed the past 7 years. My sons father can invite me to his wedding and i would be genuinely happy for him because I’ve been happy. It took me 2 years to get to that state of happiness and in that time is when I met my soulmate. Work on yourself and let Desmond work on himself. I know he’s your kids father and u have to talk to him all the time but keep it JUST about the kids. For your sanity and so that he can miss u. You tell him everything that’s going on but you have to keep him guessing about what you’re feeling or what you’re doing. & You do ALOT for him, and including making sure he’s ok. I know it sounds harsh but who cares. He’s a grown man...he’s in the military ....he will survive. He was trained to survive. And another thing that will eat at you . He will make it without u. I know deep down we want our Ex’s to suffer just a littttttle bit without us lol but with men it doesn’t happen right away. It will be years from now he will realize how amazing you are and what he had. And at that time you will strong and solid that you won’t melt in his hands when he says sweet things and give you that love that you begged for. & at that time is when he will suffer. But in the mean time Kiara...focus on urself. You’re going to make it!
You are so right!!! My heart aches for Kiara!!! I love them as a couple, and I would never want to see a family split up. It's just a sad situation all around. Praying for you Kiara!! I'm going through a similar situation, and only God knows the pain I feel. Keep your head up!
I will never understand people like you...always changing your mind about the same facts and problems over and over again!hope the both of you realize that life is hard and its nobody faults but the only thing that matter is your children happiness!
Charlie Grei you’re welcome, some of us learn that after trial and tribulations, but it is true and Kiara is a wonderful, loving woman and I wanted her to know this. 🙂💕
Girl, you can't rebuild a relationship with someone that doesn't want it rebuilt. It fucking sucks that you are the only one trying but at the end of the day, you are the one that can say "You know what? I tried. You didn't." Never let a man blame anything on you because he can't accept any type of responsibility. You deserve so much more than that type of disrespect Kiara💕
I went through something similar with my ex. The hardest decision I had to make was walking away from the man I loved but that relationship drained the life out of me. It was always something and I just couldn’t take it anymore. Kiara do what’s best for you and your babies.
It literally is the hardest decision it feels like you have ever made because you're always second-guessing if it's the best and right decision at the time.
Brown Eyed Girl and you’re right. I did go back and forth with that decision but mainly because I had been with this person since I was 17 and was afraid to be on my own with my kids. We was a team when it came to the kids but every thing else was a hot mess😂
Girl I was there...17-41 almost my whole life. Your situation sounds like mine and I'm sure so many more can relate lol. Life is hard sometimes or sometimes we make it harder then it has to be lol
Don’t stress Kiara I understand you’re under a lot of stress and worry I watch Desmond’s live and I really feel like a lot of that what he said was based off of the fact that he was intoxicated and maybe he’s just angry because he knows he should’ve never let you go in the first place .it’s a two-way street he can’t put all the blame on you you guys need to have a talk or you have to figure out if this is what you want.He knew what he was getting into when he let you leave and all the circumstances that led up to you leaving so don’t blame yourself.
My darling I really think you are better of alone on the long run.I know it is not easy but you have a great family who will hold you up when you feel down. I watched his video and and no..... I think you and your children are better of on your own.
Let him hire a baby sitter until he learns to be worthy of having a wife again and stop scandalizing your name over the Internet like a little boy and learn to be respectful to his wife like a real man would.
That's manipulation sweetie and narcissism. I've been were you are putting others first loving them when they don't deserve it. Going back because of the mind manipulation and trying to stay because of the kids it never works only because the feelings from when you separated will always be there if there is no change. Move on boo you have kids to be strong for and a heart to protect it's not easy but worth it🙏💜
Des probably didn't want to mention too much while in Va because yall had gotten back on "good terms" also he had liquid courage in those lives which obviously brings out truths. I think Des is upset that he may loose his job due to really no fault of his own. There's always a better way of doing things. Maybe getting a hotel in Texas for a few days until the both of y'all figured things out would of been best. Maybe in a sense the CPS situation kinda gave you a reason to leave and go visit your family since you missed them so much. No judgment here. We all experience tough times while married (11yrs married here). Des could of prevented all of this and put a stop to you leaving but pride got in the way. Y'all will work it out. Baby steps, you dealing with a man, they move slow 🐢😂😂
Celeta Davis they move slower than slow. Woman need to feel appreciated. Men don’t understand that. No matter how hard they work, woman still need to feel appreciated.
Exactly ! It’s better being by yourself happy than being together and miserable, I understand you guys have kids together but sometimes you have to do what’s best for you ,
IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT! IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT! IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT! Don’t let anyone step all over your emotions whenever they please. It’s not fair to you or your children. One thing I know for sure is, no man should degrade his wife for anyone to see or hear...ever! No woman deserves to be treated less than. Words hurt and replay over and over in one’s head until we learn to set ourselves free. It’s emotional abuse. Love shouldn’t hurt so much. It’s not your fault...
Kiara !!!!!!! You say you have tried and tried and tried... you’ve been there for him and Corey... que más puedes hacer ? If both of y’all aren’t putting in work to be happy in the relationship then leave it alone ... déjalo así Kiara ... deja de pensar en el .. piensa en ti y en tu felicidad ... se dice fácil but I know it’s hard and that’s where you will need to step it up girl !! Blessings your way 🙌🏼
It’s ok to cry babygirl don’t ever fight urself cuz of that u are strong, u just have a different way of showing it n I know cuz I’m like that but just know u are a amazing mom n a wonderful wife n u do everything great for what I can see since day one I been watching u n ur family vlogs n all the cry is because u actually care n truly love with all u have but don’t worry when a door closes another one opens n I pray the lord just takes all the pain away n blesses u with more then u can imagine n I pray for u n ur family, from my family to yours we love u guys no matter what I’m here since day one n I’ll keep being ur supporter 💪🏼🥰god bless u all💋
YAAAASSSSSSS!!! When I say I feel you on this! Girl this made me tear all the way up. Sometimes as women we need to know that a man wants us and is willing to put us first. Not just with us for the kids or out of convenience. I think that's all you wanted and from watching previous vlogs I can tell yall had grown complacent in just going through the motions. As married people we have to work hard at keeping things fresh and it can't be one sided. You were crying out for that attention and he didn't see it and that's why things ended up like they are. He will have to work to rebuild what yall had and that takes a process. Do what's best for yall and don't give up! Marriage is hard as hell but anything worth having is worth fighting for. I'm still praying for you guys.
If you guys want to move forward you have to leave the past where it is! Forget about who did what and whatever.... If y'all want to make it happen communication needs to be key! Marriage is a choice and honestly keep cleaning your side and let him figure out how to clean his! I love yall
I agree with you, but right now he's not in the right head space to fix things. Hes probably going to lose his 16 year career.. guys don't know anything. Exspecially when they are put under pressure. Hang in there.
I think he got use to you being around and making it easy for him to be a dad to Corey ...what would he have done if you werent around? Would he have still taken him full time? He needs time to appreciate you and all you have done. He is a good man and deep down he loves you. He doesnt know how to show it. Hes going through some shit right now but when i dies down he's going to see you not just see you but really see you. Stay strong marriage isnt easy.
Sounds like a typical toxic relationship that most girls go through it’s not easy to walk away. I know how strong you are Kiara your doing an amazing job so far you got this. Wish you nothing but the best. Love you guys.
Follow ur heart only u kno what ur feeling & only u kno what u need to make u happy.. There is no need to play the blame game at this point it's time for the both of u to gather ur thoughts & take this time to reflect & figure out what u want moving forward follow ur heart ❤️
I’m getting married July 7th so I’m not going to speak on your marriage because I don’t know EVERYTHING and wouldn’t want someone speaking on mine.... but what I will say is WHEN SOMEONE SHOWS YOU THEIR TRUE COLORS DO NOT TRY TO REPAINT THEM.
So deep and real. I have no words hugs ❤ as much as I want youvguys back together this video opened my eyes a lot. He owes you a very sincer apology and to prove you so much before you move back.
Sometimes people don’t love us like we love them😕we can be loyal ,dedicated & loving, but get very little in return 😊I wish you the best, Look out for yourself, put your heart in your pocket , Cause love don’t love nobody 😳😳😳
I’m finalizing my divorce from a military officer, as I went through this same thing. I was a babysitter for his kids and when he didn’t need me anymore, and I started saying he needed to try, he was done. Put you and your kids first and leave him alone. He needs to hold himself accountable too.
You aren't the one that should be proving your love... From an outsider's opinion he doesn't love you as much as you love him... He is playing mind games with you... He knows how you feel but is pretending he doesn't know for only a reason he knows
Reminds me a lot of my relationship in the sense of my partner being able to be open and confess his love where as I shut him out, it’s not fair to him. I try but i just can’t get myself to open up so freely , im working on it. I know there’s two sides to every story and having the space you two hve right now is good , this is why you need space because we have to know what it feels like to go without for little bit to appreciate what you do have. Leave it in gods hands and continue to take care of yourself and your babies, u are so strong don’t forget that!
I’m sorry you’re going through this! But honestly I don’t think he will change! You might be better off alone to be honest! I know it hurts he’s your husband but at the end of the day you need to do you and look for your happiness!
It's hard enough to fix a broken relationship when you are under the same roof, living so far away makes is 2 times more difficult. I pray that you receive the clarity you desire🙏🏽💖
Your video hit me hard. I feel like everything you were saying is what I'm speaking silently to myself. I'm unhappy in my relationship but I'm also scared to move on without him.
Nena this is “for better or worse” we are the Key to our family and they are the providers. We were created to be their helper and that means we help them be that provider.
Your situation mirrors mine when I was your age.....I hung in for many, many years. One day I realized I was the only one changing and evolving in life. The ways he treated me never changed. His behaviors never changed. The blame he eventually placed on me for everything negative never changed. He would make efforts, but theyd die out after like 3 to 4 then it was back to the same old shit. I realized that if somebody really wants you they will meet you equally for efforts. It will not be a 70/30 type of effort. After realizing that I decided I need to finally be happy and although it was the hardest decision I ever made, in my life. I did it and it took a while but I am really happy that I did. I still love him. He's the father of my children. But he is the same man now that he was when I left, that lets me know I made the right decision. If it's anything like my situation you are probably better off and your kids are young so they will adjust. My kids adjusted fine and turned out to be much happier because I was much happier.
You did right ! ❣️ You and your kids are your responsibility . Nothing else. Is the baby sick or just sleeping stop saying you love him stop saying you want to work things out . Just do you and your kids he's gonna lose out in the end not you. If it's looking like a one way street it is a one way street you did fine! You're where you need to be god got you .
Him losing his career is NOT your fault. He chose to not fight for you, he chose to let you leave. He's never been bothered you left, in fact he is the one who said it's best you stay there for your 12 month lease. Now he has a REAL consequence to his actions he is blaming you. He is more bothered about losing his career than he was about losing you. That says a lot. He can't hold you responsible for his actions. As you said you'd of stayed if he'd fought for you but he never. Blaming others for our own actions is emotional abuse. How degrading would it be if you when back to Texas to take care of his son. Basically getting back with you to use you. I know you love him but stop telling him on here because it falls on deaf ears. Work on you and your worth, you need to have someone who benefits you AND ADDS to your happiness, not someone who takes it away. His parents have a lot go answer for for giving him so much emotional baggage. Stay strong and don't settle for less. I was so rooting for you and Des but...
Sis the same shit happened to me back in August , my husband left me and my kids in Cali and went to Florida for whatever reasons he had .He treated me like everything was my fault and it wasn't . I was depressed for months and then I finally picked myself back up , and started doing good . Now 6 months later guess what he doing 😂😂 wanting his family back .
I know that heart break I so feel for you they say time heals all things but when you truely love someone even time doesn't seem to help rs all you do is try to keep going
Kiara keep your head up no relationship is perfect. I understand completely what you’re going through just try to stay focus on you your family and children and let everything else fall into place. Counseling is a good way as well.
At the end of the day it's really on what makes u happy and what helps u. He can blame u all he wants but this isnt your fault. Growth and strength is a relationship and if u cant keep moving on then he isnt acting as an adult. U were smiling n so happy but this u can see hit u hard. Dont let it, look at ur kids and feel the love and grow for yourself u are strong if this works between u n Des then great but if not well this was a hard lesson in life u loved and tried is all u can say. But do for u and keep your head up, smile stay strong your going to be ok you'll survive plus u have those beautiful babies and ur family right there to lean on and help guide u n mental and emotional support. U got this girl stay strong it'll be ok. No more sad eyes, follow ur dreams.
I love the both of you all as a couple, but you have to do what’s best for you and your kids. Don’t stay in a marriage just for the kids. You have to be happy as well. It starts with you!!!
NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!! YOU ARE NOT A BABYSITTER!! There are thousands of men and women that are single parents in the military! You have to take care of yourself, your children and your HEART!! YOU did the right thing for YOU and you children.
And that’s just it, he knows that all he can do is say something sweet and you gonna fall right back into his arms, just show him you are unbothered and he will want you even more..
Marriage is not easy! Especially considering it’s somewhat “public”, I support you both together and separately. I think marriage counseling is needed at this point. I can see Des is scared in regard to his security (job) is at risk. Rightfully so, but it’s not your fault however his security regarding taking care of his family is at jeopardy. So I definitely think considering the “re building” of the marriage counseling is imperative. You both will be given tools and also learn how to communicate with each other where your equally heard and understood. Like always say I’m CSquad all day everyday, and Im praying for you guys. You both were built to last regardless of the turn out.
Girl dont stresses to much I know u keep trying but just he doesn't put his part you did what you did dont try no more you should just move on girl dont worry everything be alright just be happy with ur family your kids I know is hard but what else can u do u try your best girl.
give all your worries and sadness to God and have faith in yourself. if you feel better being alone just tell your husband you two can be friends and hang out together for the kids .
I’m praying for you and your family. I pray that you put God first. As, he belongs in the midst of you alls union, marriage. You are very brave and inspirational!
Hi there,I've been a subscriber for a long while. You have been a great mom,wife and support system all the while doing your job here. I want you to find your happiness,don't beat yourself up, we do that when we have arguments. Men do not always communicate well until it bubbles up inside and bursts. You are right,our kids feel the tension. You both will work it out,prayers!!
Focus on you and the kids. You're losing your self-respect. Go get a GED, lose weight and get back into your art. He won't do the things you wish for, it's not his personality. True love doesn't hurt! To me, it always seemed that he just tolerated you because of the children. Let him go (emotionally), he will notice the change in you and begin to respect you. If he wants you he'll come back and if he doesn't, accept it and move on. He's not IN LOVE with you, that's why he can't love you the way you NEED to be loved.
Girl. Don’t settle. You are worth all that you’re saying you want. It’s out there it may be with Desmond it may not be but don’t forget you’re worth all of that. Stay positive. This time apart may be just what’s needed. He has some growth to do too. Remember military is a different life. Some guys have trouble really being with people outside the military mindset that’s what I’m seeing as well it’s hard. It’s not easy at all. You’ll be fine and don’t let him blame you for all that’s happening he played a role in all of this. He’s not some innocent bystander. Keep your chin up.
I'm so sorry your going through this current situation..... I can tell you really really love him. You seem like a very smart and strong woman I hope you make the best decision for you and your kids because it's hard being in limbo. Your to beautiful to be someone's maybe !
Kiara you are an amazing woman, mother, sister, human. Your only crime is loving so hard. You love your husband with your whole heart. Desmond is hurting and taking out his frustrations on you. That's not right. Continue to pray God's strength, wisdom and direction. Marriage is not easy and you have pulled your weight. All I can say is, if it's meant to be, God will help you both to work it out together. Keep your head up. Love on your babies and let God do the rest.🙇🏾♀️🤗💞
I UNDERSTAND YOUR DELIMA AND THE FACT THAT U LITERALLY HAVE BABIES BY HUBBY IT MAKES IT HARDER TO WALK AWAY BUT REMEMBER THIS FOR THE SAKE OF THE KIDS "Children would rather come from a broken home, than to live in one" IN DUE TIME THIS STATEMENT WILL MEAN ALOT AND YOU WILL EVENTUALLY GET OVER HIM AND FOCUS ON YOU & THE KIDS...STAY STRONG💪SIS...THIS 2 SHALL PASS💗💙💚💜💛
Sending all the love, hugs and prayers to y'all. Give all of your worries and frustrations to God and continue to take it day by day. You all will get through this ! Always here for you girl. - Candace ❤
I love you girl and have been watching you since day one. So please don't take this the wrong way. There is a saying "when someone shows you their true colors, believe them". I will DM you on instagram because there is a lot I have been wanting to say but haven't as this is not my situation, but rather yours, and i have been trying to be respectful of both of you. Love you and am praying for you always!! ❤🙏
I watched his video a few days ago, and I can honestly say; he can't blame you for the possible separation from the military. It takes two to make a relationship work. And if he needs extra help with Korey in order to stay in the military he should consider child care or hiring a nanny until or if you decide to move back
Im rooting for you guys and pray everything works out, but I do feel like until he doesn't feel like he can get you back anytime he wants you, he isn't going to make effort to be who you deserve. Im really rooting for you guys though.
![Our First Military Ball!! Falling in Love All Over Again! [Army Family at Fort Wainwright, Alaska]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/7-0-5Wx8oJY/mqdefault.jpg)
When a man tell you, they don't want you no more best believe them.
Yup!!
She still loves him, that’s her husband, it’s understandable. And he’s so wishy-washy, one day he wants to be together and the next he don’t. Smh
kadene gordon exactly girl keep it moving how can I sleep with a man that tells me he don’t want me because best believe it he means it
Thank you!!!
So true actions speak louder than words
you did the right thing. there is also vulnerability in negative expression of emotions. if he says he doesnt want or love you, pack your things and go because when people dont thats how they end up on the news and you certainly deserved way better than him
Fast Forward My Girl Glowed Up 💫💫💫 Healing, Living and has a Peace Of Mind ♥️💫♥️💫♥️💫 & Doing the Damn thing must I add . Proof that sometimes thing transpire to release you from situations that you’re forcing or trying to do on your own .. I’m so proud of you Kiara and in addition happy for the kids as well … ♥️💫♥️💫💫 keep doing your thing chica all your heart desires will come ..look how far you’ve come. It’s only going to get better!
Somehow your old videos came up in my feed! It breaks my heart that he is still hurting his family!!!
Sometimes these things happen they stay stagnant in order for you to grow and do something completely different!
You will never be able to have a rational relationship with someone who is struggling with mental health issues.
We love you Kiara, and God loves you. He has your back and you're doing beautifully! Keep it up!
I have learned that its easier to blame than to take accountability.
Denice Johnson That’s so true!
I think you guys should stop talking about the relationship for awhile. He needs to actually see what it’s like to not have you for a while, like months. He can’t blame you for the Army wanting him to have a plan, that’s life and he has options. If not he needs be a reserve in the army. You can’t make him change, he will figure out what he wants.
Agreed. Fresh slate needed. Time to move forward
Agree
Lysa Savvy Exactly I’m with u on this sis
The crazy journey Of the Densons Your missing the whole point of my comment. But I’d expect that from individuals that try to act like they know everything. I know the military doesn’t work like that, but again he has options. That’s the point! OPTIONS instead of blaming her online, he could have been figuring out what he could do to save his career. 😏🤷🏾♀️
Sometimes with men it's a control thing. They see you moving on feeling good about yourself and then they feel like they need to grab a hold of you mentally to bring you back down to that place.
That is so true .
Woah dudes are like that towards their woman?
Girl my advise to you is stop crying and stop saying that you love him so much and all that. Grow up and be strong for your kids. Be beautiful and stop explaining yourself to someone who ddoesnt care about anything but himself. He just wants you home so you can take care of the family. He doesnt care about your feelings... 😏
I agree
Exactly!!
Yes true true
MsHairely'slife facts she be doing to much always praising him all the while he's just hurting her smh you gottah love yourself sum men's just ain't worth fighting for or losing yourself for let that men be move on smh
Exactly
if your husband had been in the military for a day.. yea sure I could buy his story of “blaming you”.. but serious Des... he’s been in for hella long and he should know first hand as a NCO what that means as a single parent.. so his letter should NOT be a surprise. he’s mad because he refused to step up as a man and do right for his family- he’s mad because he no longer has a live in babysitter for his son and actually has to do right.. and YOU- are not to blame for HIS military career. if they kick him out for his lack of a family care plan.. THAT IS ON HIM!
don’t miss out on your own happiness waiting on someone else to miss you!!
Well said
So true
jessakuh_ Facts....POINT Blank!
This comment 👏🏾👏🏾
👋👋👋WELL SAID!!!! Love yourself first girl. One thing you can't get back is time. You're not going to be young forever you don't want to end up saying " i should of, could of, would of but didn't" believe me i know what I'm talking about
I don't know the back story, however, viewing just a few vlogs. In my humble opinion, your husband has to level up, he is older, suppose to be more mature & the king in his home. He sounds like he may have some other deep rooted issues from his past, that has hindered his emotional capabilities of holding down a healthy marriage. I believe God can do anything, but many times it takes us stumbling in our own mess to humble ourselves & surrender to Him. I also believe there is something in you that is lacking my love. Write down what Kiara deserves in life, all aspects of life. She needs to take care of herself & love herself soooooo much, that anyone toxic can't come in her vibe. Set boundaries girl, go after the goals you've been dreaming about. Release him for a while, because if not you're creating resistance. At the end of the day, we teach people how to treat us. Like attracts like. So become the woman you would most admire. It's ok to cry, but don't stay there, get up start journaling, do vision boards with your son....Plan the life you always wanted & God will set up the universe to bless you with it. God bless!!
Cee cee I agree
God will guide u follow your heart..look at tht shining bright star...your heart will mend in time..u need peace happiness...true love.
..
Well said
Wow! Well said!! We all need encouragement!!
It's ok to walk away when there is no change
You are RIGHT, I HAD TO DO THAT TOO !
Absolutely!
I did best move I made
I don’t think Desmond is capable of giving you the things you want and need. That doesn’t make him a bad person, he just doesn’t have it to give. I think you guys should take this time apart to reflect and work on yourselves and cease communication with each other until you’re in a better place emotionally.
i can't believe that you both are having a relationship on UA-cam??? This is a personal matter. Sheeeese
Agree
Then why are you watching if it bothers you so much?
Treat him how he's treating you. That always seems to slap my boyfriend right in the ego real fast! No one likes it when the shoes on the other foot. (Men and their egos *eyeroll*)
yes exactly ! i really wish she would . my heart hurts for her .
Melissa Morrison you are absolutely right, I do that to my husband all the time lol I’m not bout to stress myself out
I’m a single mom in the military and you CAN not be kicked out because of that... a letter? Sounds fake lol the army doesn’t send out letters. You two just need to work on co parenting if he has a mission to go on they are authorized to tell him with enough plans to get something together for the kids
Mama Julisicia Right he must have gotten a counseling statement. At this point he must want to get out military. Cause he got options and single mothers do it everyday smh
There is a man out there wanting to be loved by a woman who loves as hard as you. Just wait honey. Focus on your self and be great. (I can’t wait to see videos) I know that he’s your husband and that you will do anything to work on your relationship but God closes one door because he’s opened up another door for you. You keep trying to open up that door that He closed and u keep running into the same wall. Trust me that is a lesson that I have learned personally with a man I thought I would never see myself without. (My sons father) Now i met my soulmate who loves me SO HARD and will do anything for me even when we fight. I have been so blessed the past 7 years. My sons father can invite me to his wedding and i would be genuinely happy for him because I’ve been happy. It took me 2 years to get to that state of happiness and in that time is when I met my soulmate. Work on yourself and let Desmond work on himself. I know he’s your kids father and u have to talk to him all the time but keep it JUST about the kids. For your sanity and so that he can miss u. You tell him everything that’s going on but you have to keep him guessing about what you’re feeling or what you’re doing. & You do ALOT for him, and including making sure he’s ok. I know it sounds harsh but who cares. He’s a grown man...he’s in the military ....he will survive. He was trained to survive. And another thing that will eat at you . He will make it without u. I know deep down we want our Ex’s to suffer just a littttttle bit without us lol but with men it doesn’t happen right away. It will be years from now he will realize how amazing you are and what he had. And at that time you will strong and solid that you won’t melt in his hands when he says sweet things and give you that love that you begged for. & at that time is when he will suffer. But in the mean time Kiara...focus on urself. You’re going to make it!
Thanks so much. You are so right.... thanks for this comment .I needed to read this.
I needed to hear this too! 😆 Thank you! Lol
I do agree with you Tabatha
You are so right!!! My heart aches for Kiara!!! I love them as a couple, and I would never want to see a family split up. It's just a sad situation all around. Praying for you Kiara!! I'm going through a similar situation, and only God knows the pain I feel. Keep your head up!
Amen!
I will never understand people like you...always changing your mind about the same facts and problems over and over again!hope the both of you realize that life is hard and its nobody faults but the only thing that matter is your children happiness!
You deserve to be loved the way you want and need to be loved. Everyone deserves that. Wish u all the best!
Susie Vasquez thank you for saying that. Sometimes for me it’s hard to believe that
Charlie Grei you’re welcome, some of us learn that after trial and tribulations, but it is true and Kiara is a wonderful, loving woman and I wanted her to know this. 🙂💕
Girl, you can't rebuild a relationship with someone that doesn't want it rebuilt. It fucking sucks that you are the only one trying but at the end of the day, you are the one that can say "You know what? I tried. You didn't." Never let a man blame anything on you because he can't accept any type of responsibility. You deserve so much more than that type of disrespect Kiara💕
I went through something similar with my ex. The hardest decision I had to make was walking away from the man I loved but that relationship drained the life out of me. It was always something and I just couldn’t take it anymore. Kiara do what’s best for you and your babies.
It literally is the hardest decision it feels like you have ever made because you're always second-guessing if it's the best and right decision at the time.
Brown Eyed Girl and you’re right. I did go back and forth with that decision but mainly because I had been with this person since I was 17 and was afraid to be on my own with my kids. We was a team when it came to the kids but every thing else was a hot mess😂
Girl I was there...17-41 almost my whole life. Your situation sounds like mine and I'm sure so many more can relate lol. Life is hard sometimes or sometimes we make it harder then it has to be lol
Don’t stress Kiara I understand you’re under a lot of stress and worry I watch Desmond’s live and I really feel like a lot of that what he said was based off of the fact that he was intoxicated and maybe he’s just angry because he knows he should’ve never let you go in the first place .it’s a two-way street he can’t put all the blame on you you guys need to have a talk or you have to figure out if this is what you want.He knew what he was getting into when he let you leave and all the circumstances that led up to you leaving so don’t blame yourself.
I agree
You need to love yourself like you say you love him you should never have to beg a man or anyone for that matter to love you
My darling I really think you are better of alone on the long run.I know it is not easy but you have a great family who will hold you up when you feel down. I watched his video and and no..... I think you and your children are better of on your own.
I’m so sick of seeing women feel this way INCLUDING MYSELF, because of a man. Forget being a good woman for a man, BE A GOOD WOMAN FOR YOU.
Sometimes you have to FORGET what you "feel" and REALIZE what YOU deserve! Peace & Blessings to you.
Let him hire a baby sitter until he learns to be worthy of having a wife again and stop scandalizing your name over the Internet like a little boy and learn to be respectful to his wife like a real man would.
That's manipulation sweetie and narcissism. I've been were you are putting others first loving them when they don't deserve it. Going back because of the mind manipulation and trying to stay because of the kids it never works only because the feelings from when you separated will always be there if there is no change. Move on boo you have kids to be strong for and a heart to protect it's not easy but worth it🙏💜
I've always kinda felt he was narcissistic...Althought it could be because he reminds me of my ex lol. It's a sad situation no matter what.
This is so true
I feel u hun ... god is good just pray🙏🏽❤️
Des probably didn't want to mention too much while in Va because yall had gotten back on "good terms" also he had liquid courage in those lives which obviously brings out truths. I think Des is upset that he may loose his job due to really no fault of his own. There's always a better way of doing things. Maybe getting a hotel in Texas for a few days until the both of y'all figured things out would of been best. Maybe in a sense the CPS situation kinda gave you a reason to leave and go visit your family since you missed them so much. No judgment here. We all experience tough times while married (11yrs married here). Des could of prevented all of this and put a stop to you leaving but pride got in the way. Y'all will work it out. Baby steps, you dealing with a man, they move slow 🐢😂😂
Celeta Davis Yes they do....Great advice❤😘
Words of wisdom.
Celeta Davis aquy
Celeta Davis they move slower than slow. Woman need to feel appreciated. Men don’t understand that. No matter how hard they work, woman still need to feel appreciated.
Celeta Davis yessss!!
That's what I'm saying you need to both take responsibility not blame one more than the other
A person will only treat you how you allow them to treat you
If you decided to go back he will always put the blame on you!! You'll never hear the end of it.
Exactly ! It’s better being by yourself happy than being together and miserable, I understand you guys have kids together but sometimes you have to do what’s best for you ,
Wait is Des light weight a narcissist
IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT! IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT! IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!
Don’t let anyone step all over your emotions whenever they please. It’s not fair to you or your children. One thing I know for sure is, no man should degrade his wife for anyone to see or hear...ever! No woman deserves to be treated less than. Words hurt and replay over and over in one’s head until we learn to set ourselves free. It’s emotional abuse. Love shouldn’t hurt so much.
It’s not your fault...
Yes!
Thankyou kiara !!!! I appreciate you babe
Hey mama.. ❤
No where is “HIS MOTHER” kiara is NOT HIS MOTHER SO HE NEEDS TO STOP
Kiara !!!!!!! You say you have tried and tried and tried... you’ve been there for him and Corey... que más puedes hacer ? If both of y’all aren’t putting in work to be happy in the relationship then leave it alone ... déjalo así Kiara ... deja de pensar en el .. piensa en ti y en tu felicidad ... se dice fácil but I know it’s hard and that’s where you will need to step it up girl !! Blessings your way 🙌🏼
It’s ok to cry babygirl don’t ever fight urself cuz of that u are strong, u just have a different way of showing it n I know cuz I’m like that but just know u are a amazing mom n a wonderful wife n u do everything great for what I can see since day one I been watching u n ur family vlogs n all the cry is because u actually care n truly love with all u have but don’t worry when a door closes another one opens n I pray the lord just takes all the pain away n blesses u with more then u can imagine n I pray for u n ur family, from my family to yours we love u guys no matter what I’m here since day one n I’ll keep being ur supporter 💪🏼🥰god bless u all💋
YAAAASSSSSSS!!! When I say I feel you on this! Girl this made me tear all the way up. Sometimes as women we need to know that a man wants us and is willing to put us first. Not just with us for the kids or out of convenience. I think that's all you wanted and from watching previous vlogs I can tell yall had grown complacent in just going through the motions. As married people we have to work hard at keeping things fresh and it can't be one sided. You were crying out for that attention and he didn't see it and that's why things ended up like they are. He will have to work to rebuild what yall had and that takes a process. Do what's best for yall and don't give up! Marriage is hard as hell but anything worth having is worth fighting for. I'm still praying for you guys.
If you guys want to move forward you have to leave the past where it is! Forget about who did what and whatever.... If y'all want to make it happen communication needs to be key! Marriage is a choice and honestly keep cleaning your side and let him figure out how to clean his! I love yall
I agree with you, but right now he's not in the right head space to fix things. Hes probably going to lose his 16 year career.. guys don't know anything. Exspecially when they are put under pressure. Hang in there.
I think he got use to you being around and making it easy for him to be a dad to Corey ...what would he have done if you werent around? Would he have still taken him full time? He needs time to appreciate you and all you have done. He is a good man and deep down he loves you. He doesnt know how to show it. Hes going through some shit right now but when i dies down he's going to see you not just see you but really see you. Stay strong marriage isnt easy.
Living Ruiz 💥 Right on it. Nicely said.
Sounds like a typical toxic relationship that most girls go through it’s not easy to walk away. I know how strong you are Kiara your doing an amazing job so far you got this. Wish you nothing but the best. Love you guys.
Follow ur heart only u kno what ur feeling & only u kno what u need to make u happy.. There is no need to play the blame game at this point it's time for the both of u to gather ur thoughts & take this time to reflect & figure out what u want moving forward follow ur heart ❤️
Love is so complicated just pray and let God guide you both. Stay strong mama 💕💕
Gurl follow ur ❤️... there’s no perfect relationships we all got flaws just keep doing what you doin being a good mom
Kiara, you are so right. never second guess your self. do what make Kiara happy and healthy for you and the kids. god bless you
I’m getting married July 7th so I’m not going to speak on your marriage because I don’t know EVERYTHING and wouldn’t want someone speaking on mine.... but what I will say is WHEN SOMEONE SHOWS YOU THEIR TRUE COLORS DO NOT TRY TO REPAINT THEM.
I'm so sorry you're going through all of this!❤🙏
So deep and real. I have no words hugs ❤ as much as I want youvguys back together this video opened my eyes a lot. He owes you a very sincer apology and to prove you so much before you move back.
Girl I love you. There is a difference between “stood” and “stay/stayed”. Lol
Hang n there mama...ur doing all u can do and then some...just keep ur eyes on God...He's always got u :)
Sometimes people don’t love us like we love them😕we can be loyal ,dedicated & loving, but get very little in return 😊I wish you the best, Look out for yourself, put your heart in your pocket , Cause love don’t love nobody 😳😳😳
Trust I KNOW your pain and unfortunately only time will heal everything! I wish you nothing but the best. Pray and ask God to help you get thru this
When a man tells you he don't want to be with you believe him!!
I’m finalizing my divorce from a military officer, as I went through this same thing. I was a babysitter for his kids and when he didn’t need me anymore, and I started saying he needed to try, he was done. Put you and your kids first and leave him alone. He needs to hold himself accountable too.
I know exactly how you feel. Continue being the best you, pray, write in a journal. Start drawing again, clear your mind and things will work out 💕💕💕
You aren't the one that should be proving your love... From an outsider's opinion he doesn't love you as much as you love him... He is playing mind games with you... He knows how you feel but is pretending he doesn't know for only a reason he knows
She's a built in sitter. He's manipulating her and she falls for it every time. Back and forth isn't healthy.
@@aleialaw Right! I empathize with her... He knows she loves him and he's using it against her....
Reminds me a lot of my relationship in the sense of my partner being able to be open and confess his love where as I shut him out, it’s not fair to him. I try but i just can’t get myself to open up so freely , im working on it. I know there’s two sides to every story and having the space you two hve right now is good , this is why you need space because we have to know what it feels like to go without for little bit to appreciate what you do have. Leave it in gods hands and continue to take care of yourself and your babies, u are so strong don’t forget that!
I’m sorry you’re going through this! But honestly I don’t think he will change! You might be better off alone to be honest! I know it hurts he’s your husband but at the end of the day you need to do you and look for your happiness!
It's hard enough to fix a broken relationship when you are under the same roof, living so far away makes is 2 times more difficult. I pray that you receive the clarity you desire🙏🏽💖
Your video hit me hard. I feel like everything you were saying is what I'm speaking silently to myself. I'm unhappy in my relationship but I'm also scared to move on without him.
You are a great person and a great mother if he cant see that well to bad maybe someone else will.
Nena this is “for better or worse” we are the Key to our family and they are the providers. We were created to be their helper and that means we help them be that provider.
Your situation mirrors mine when I was your age.....I hung in for many, many years. One day I realized I was the only one changing and evolving in life. The ways he treated me never changed. His behaviors never changed. The blame he eventually placed on me for everything negative never changed. He would make efforts, but theyd die out after like 3 to 4 then it was back to the same old shit. I realized that if somebody really wants you they will meet you equally for efforts. It will not be a 70/30 type of effort. After realizing that I decided I need to finally be happy and although it was the hardest decision I ever made, in my life. I did it and it took a while but I am really happy that I did. I still love him. He's the father of my children. But he is the same man now that he was when I left, that lets me know I made the right decision. If it's anything like my situation you are probably better off and your kids are young so they will adjust. My kids adjusted fine and turned out to be much happier because I was much happier.
You did right ! ❣️ You and your kids are your responsibility . Nothing else. Is the baby sick or just sleeping stop saying you love him stop saying you want to work things out . Just do you and your kids he's gonna lose out in the end not you. If it's looking like a one way street it is a one way street you did fine! You're where you need to be god got you .
Kiara, you are answering your own questions it seems like you know what needs to be it’s not easy but you will get thru this keep your head up mama❤️
Him losing his career is NOT your fault. He chose to not fight for you, he chose to let you leave. He's never been bothered you left, in fact he is the one who said it's best you stay there for your 12 month lease. Now he has a REAL consequence to his actions he is blaming you. He is more bothered about losing his career than he was about losing you. That says a lot. He can't hold you responsible for his actions. As you said you'd of stayed if he'd fought for you but he never. Blaming others for our own actions is emotional abuse. How degrading would it be if you when back to Texas to take care of his son. Basically getting back with you to use you. I know you love him but stop telling him on here because it falls on deaf ears. Work on you and your worth, you need to have someone who benefits you AND ADDS to your happiness, not someone who takes it away. His parents have a lot go answer for for giving him so much emotional baggage. Stay strong and don't settle for less. I was so rooting for you and Des but...
Sis the same shit happened to me back in August , my husband left me and my kids in Cali and went to Florida for whatever reasons he had .He treated me like everything was my fault and it wasn't . I was depressed for months and then I finally picked myself back up , and started doing good . Now 6 months later guess what he doing 😂😂 wanting his family back .
I can see how much you love him. Take your time figuring it out.💖
I am here from the Lopez channel.
I know that heart break I so feel for you they say time heals all things but when you truely love someone even time doesn't seem to help rs all you do is try to keep going
Kiara keep your head up no relationship is perfect. I understand completely what you’re going through just try to stay focus on you your family and children and let everything else fall into place. Counseling is a good way as well.
Don't stress yourself out.
Oh.M.G. I caught your video right after you posted. Yayyy!!! Love your vlogs and family ❤️❤️
At the end of the day it's really on what makes u happy and what helps u. He can blame u all he wants but this isnt your fault. Growth and strength is a relationship and if u cant keep moving on then he isnt acting as an adult. U were smiling n so happy but this u can see hit u hard. Dont let it, look at ur kids and feel the love and grow for yourself u are strong if this works between u n Des then great but if not well this was a hard lesson in life u loved and tried is all u can say. But do for u and keep your head up, smile stay strong your going to be ok you'll survive plus u have those beautiful babies and ur family right there to lean on and help guide u n mental and emotional support. U got this girl stay strong it'll be ok. No more sad eyes, follow ur dreams.
It’s better to cry then leave it all in .. keep ur head up u got this !!
I love the both of you all as a couple, but you have to do what’s best for you and your kids. Don’t stay in a marriage just for the kids. You have to be happy as well. It starts with you!!!
The man who makes you feel like you’re hard to love is not the one for you. You deserve to be loved.
NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!! YOU ARE NOT A BABYSITTER!! There are thousands of men and women that are single parents in the military! You have to take care of yourself, your children and your HEART!! YOU did the right thing for YOU and you children.
And that’s just it, he knows that all he can do is say something sweet and you gonna fall right back into his arms, just show him you are unbothered and he will want you even more..
Damn girl I feel for for you. You will get through this with or without him but please remember your worth.
Professional marriage counseling honey ....sometimes its needed...its hard to change habits....
Marriage is not easy! Especially considering it’s somewhat “public”, I support you both together and separately. I think marriage counseling is needed at this point. I can see Des is scared in regard to his security (job) is at risk. Rightfully so, but it’s not your fault however his security regarding taking care of his family is at jeopardy. So I definitely think considering the “re building” of the marriage counseling is imperative. You both will be given tools and also learn how to communicate with each other where your equally heard and understood. Like always say I’m CSquad all day everyday, and Im praying for you guys. You both were built to last regardless of the turn out.
Girl dont stresses to much I know u keep trying but just he doesn't put his part you did what you did dont try no more you should just move on girl dont worry everything be alright just be happy with ur family your kids I know is hard but what else can u do u try your best girl.
give all your worries and sadness to God and have faith in yourself. if you feel better being alone just tell your husband you two can be friends and hang out together for the kids .
I’m praying for you and your family. I pray that you put God first. As, he belongs in the midst of you alls union, marriage. You are very brave and inspirational!
Hi there,I've been a subscriber for a long while. You have been a great mom,wife and support system all the while doing your job here. I want you to find your happiness,don't beat yourself up, we do that when we have arguments. Men do not always communicate well until it bubbles up inside and bursts. You are right,our kids feel the tension. You both will work it out,prayers!!
Focus on you and the kids. You're losing your self-respect. Go get a GED, lose weight and get back into your art. He won't do the things you wish for, it's not his personality. True love doesn't hurt! To me, it always seemed that he just tolerated you because of the children. Let him go (emotionally), he will notice the change in you and begin to respect you. If he wants you he'll come back and if he doesn't, accept it and move on. He's not IN LOVE with you, that's why he can't love you the way you NEED to be loved.
Girl. Don’t settle. You are worth all that you’re saying you want. It’s out there it may be with Desmond it may not be but don’t forget you’re worth all of that.
Stay positive. This time apart may be just what’s needed. He has some growth to do too. Remember military is a different life. Some guys have trouble really being with people outside the military mindset that’s what I’m seeing as well it’s hard. It’s not easy at all. You’ll be fine and don’t let him blame you for all that’s happening he played a role in all of this. He’s not some innocent bystander. Keep your chin up.
I'm so sorry your going through this current situation..... I can tell you really really love him. You seem like a very smart and strong woman I hope you make the best decision for you and your kids because it's hard being in limbo. Your to beautiful to be someone's maybe !
Kiara you are an amazing woman, mother, sister, human. Your only crime is loving so hard. You love your husband with your whole heart. Desmond is hurting and taking out his frustrations on you. That's not right. Continue to pray God's strength, wisdom and direction. Marriage is not easy and you have pulled your weight. All I can say is, if it's meant to be, God will help you both to work it out together. Keep your head up. Love on your babies and let God do the rest.🙇🏾♀️🤗💞
I UNDERSTAND YOUR DELIMA AND THE FACT THAT U LITERALLY HAVE BABIES BY HUBBY IT MAKES IT HARDER TO WALK AWAY BUT REMEMBER THIS FOR THE SAKE OF THE KIDS "Children would rather come from a broken home, than to live in one" IN DUE TIME THIS STATEMENT WILL MEAN ALOT AND YOU WILL EVENTUALLY GET OVER HIM AND FOCUS ON YOU & THE KIDS...STAY STRONG💪SIS...THIS 2 SHALL PASS💗💙💚💜💛
I’m sorry your going through this just remember god has a plan for y’all just take a day at a time you will see the rainbow at the end of the storm ⛈
Sending all the love, hugs and prayers to y'all. Give all of your worries and frustrations to God and continue to take it day by day. You all will get through this ! Always here for you girl. - Candace ❤
I love you girl and have been watching you since day one. So please don't take this the wrong way. There is a saying "when someone shows you their true colors, believe them". I will DM you on instagram because there is a lot I have been wanting to say but haven't as this is not my situation, but rather yours, and i have been trying to be respectful of both of you. Love you and am praying for you always!! ❤🙏
I watched his video a few days ago, and I can honestly say; he can't blame you for the possible separation from the military. It takes two to make a relationship work. And if he needs extra help with Korey in order to stay in the military he should consider child care or hiring a nanny until or if you decide to move back
You just have to hang in there and be patient it takes time and if he was open with you when he was there he has a lot on him to
Im rooting for you guys and pray everything works out, but I do feel like until he doesn't feel like he can get you back anytime he wants you, he isn't going to make effort to be who you deserve. Im really rooting for you guys though.
You got a case of hysterical bonding from des mama x sending luv