i think the introduction of social media and being able to compare yourself to others all the time really fuels this. you think you're doing ok in life and then you see somebody else that has something you think you want, and then you start saying things like "i should have done this, I should be doing that" and that fuels this thinking
Treavor, it's ok to reverse course and switch careers. I've done it several times and although it's tempting to believe we failed, we didn't. We just listened to our souls and that's the most bada$$ and honest kind of person to be. Please don't let modern society beat you down, we were never ever meant to live like the caged animals that we are today ❤
I wanted to be a Navy SEAL and I didn’t even make it into the Navy! You did more than most brother! Congrats on making it to the training at least. You’re worthy of happiness and love!
Such a candid discussion! Trevor, we are all walking each other home. Most of us can relate to you and your situation at varying degrees. Good luck on your journey! 🙏🏽
I feel you Trevor! Lots of ppl experience some similar version of you. Dr. John, I believe I believe I suck because my dad rejected me as his child when I was born. Though he apologized when I was 11, I still think it affects me negatively! I’m trying though! All the best Trevor🇯🇲🇺🇸🖤🙏🏾
Was feeling depressed so I clicked on this video. Saw your comment, made me laugh, so I had to go watch the music video again. As soon as the beat hit, I was out of my chair dancing and singing. Thank you for helping to spark joy in me with your funny comment. I'm feeling better already 😊🎶🎸🥁
this video couldn't be more timely, ive suffered through the same things looking for external reasons why i feel depressed. it's internal thoughts that fuel it
Treavor thank you for bringing up your delima. I had my husband watch this. Then I had him just listen. His life is shared with you. Dr John thank you for the powerful question of " who wrote that your life sucks" It hit home with my husband. It was a door opener for conversation. as well as a door to his heart. Thank you
Being single I found confident in me. Every time I remember the past makes me feel bad how my life was pain. Feeling guilt and shame of being this and that.. The bossy coworkers. The mean friends in the school the gashlighting family. And the cheater husbands.. Extra just insane and why in the world every one put you down for no reason?
Hey Trevor. Idk if you'll ever see this man but thank you for calling in. I too suffer with similar demons and cried as I put my hand on my chest and followed docs instruction. Its a war, but if we win the small battles we will overcome. This meant a lot to me and Im sure many others.
This guy needs to resolve his own issues of poor self image and self hatred before he attempts to coach other people. He keeps repeating "I don't really know" over and over again when asked the core question of why he doesn't like himself. If he can't look at his own past and make any kind of connection between trauma and how it formed his self image, he has no business trying to guide other people's lives.
Damn. This is so very much me. I never feel good enough, always feel like I can do better, and yet I have accomplished quite a bit. I got some big goals coming up for these next few years, and yet they don't feel like they're enough for me. I definitely adding this video to my favorites, I'll be listening to it weekly if I have to.
this is a society thing, its being able to compare yourself to others all the time and you can always find somebody you don't measure up to. i struggle with it all the time
I think coaching is helping him! Trevor, have confidence and believe you truly are making a difference. You can do this. I think just being in the navy and now moving forward to coach others is a huge step in helping you heal. Add prayer and a positive journal to that and you will succeed. I’m praying and pushing for you! And yes you can think yourself to confidence! Turn off the negative tapes! Catch yourself before you start the negative thoughts! Praying for you!!
I spend a lot time of time wishing that I was smarter and able to make better decision in my 20s as well as a teen. I have felt inadequate all my life.
That is the defectiveness schema that comes from negligent/inattentive parents: Other resulting Pattern patterns/ behaviors are as follows: Avoid conflict Emotional repression or being disconnected from your emotions poor at giving or withholding avoid empathy Low level entitlement Social anxiety Patterns of worry/ anxiety Irritation lack of beliefs repressed needs defectiveness schema Emotional distancing instability and inconsistency rigidity addiction hyper independence emotional neglect of self or others controlling of environment/ space lack of expression dismissive Of others. When children do not get the love, care, and physical presence that they need, they internalize it and believe that they are broken. Your parent may have been uninvolved because they were just busy working. But to a child, the reason doesn't change the reality. This of course, means that you have an insecure attachment style (fearful avoidant, anxious preoccupied, or dismissive avoidant). Look into subconscious reprograming To reprogram Your base operating system. You can reprogram those wounds of being unloved unworthy, not safe, unseen, not valued, worthy, etc. You can heal and finally be able to love yourself. I don't even know how the hell I found it. I found the personal development school with Thais Gibson. Her work guarantees a breakthrough within thirty days or something. It is 67 bucks a month. I just paid for a month and then downloaded all of the workbooks and videos. It took 1 week for me to remove that defectiveness feeling I lived with for 38 years. Honestly, I didn't even finish the course😂😂😂. I half ass did the exercise book and fundamentally changed my life. Once I understood that Because of the programming that I received as a child, I acted a certain way. I wasn't broken. I was functioning as designed. The problem is that the design wasn't great. I called it trauma bingo because When I saw the chart with all of those behaviors listed everything described me. I then realized that I could Change the programming and that would result in different behaviors. I woke up 1 day and decided that I loved myself. One year later, I'd lost 100 pounds without exercise. I stopped drinking alcohol and started fasting. Healed my relationship my with my mother (only worked because she did her work too). My life completely changed. I fundamentally changed my life with 1 week of a half completed course. It was so effing easy, I legitimately get infuriated because I suffered for so long and this was out there and no one talked about it. Hence the reason, why I've written a damn novel in UA-cam thread. I just want to share. It didn't take 5 years of therapy!
This guy is blocked. When Dr. John starts asking him about where his internal self-denigrating narrative... "I don't really know" is all he can say, over and over. It's like, he doesn't want to psychoanalyze his upbringing and yet that's where all this is rooted, 100% of the time. I.E. perhaps Trevor's dad wasn't there in some serious way, perhaps his mom was an emotional trainwreck who probably didn't want her kids.
I’m sure it’s just hard to come up with an answer on the spot and don’t want to give a silly answer on the phone lol. I agree this guy could probably make some strides with therapy
Society keeps making us think we should be somebody else. Be YOU! Learn to love you and not an idea. Being different means you have more to contribute to humanity.
Dude I relate to this a whole lot, similar story with Army SF. I’ve struggled with careers and jobs my whole life. It’s very hard to determine where these feelings come from.
It’s your body telling you the dreams were squashed by your dad in childhood .. your body is saying “ yo dude , protect your ego , hide “ Your dad was a lousy parent .. not a good guy That’s what your body is telling you The story came from dad And now you are coaching other people but so is John and he is in therapy so it’ll Be a great help to other parent related body / mind issues
I sincerely believe many of our feelings of shortcomings arrive on the vessel of modern short-term thinking that had invaded our society as a whole. So much information overload and mass distribution of inside look into OTHER people "lifestyle". It derails alot of people
i think the introduction of social media and being able to compare yourself to others all the time really fuels this. you think you're doing ok in life and then you see somebody else that has something you think you want, and then you start saying things like "i should have done this, I should be doing that" and that fuels this thinking
Lots of us feel this way. "Life is one big road with lots of signs"
Treavor, it's ok to reverse course and switch careers. I've done it several times and although it's tempting to believe we failed, we didn't. We just listened to our souls and that's the most bada$$ and honest kind of person to be. Please don't let modern society beat you down, we were never ever meant to live like the caged animals that we are today ❤
I wanted to be a Navy SEAL and I didn’t even make it into the Navy! You did more than most brother! Congrats on making it to the training at least. You’re worthy of happiness and love!
Such a candid discussion! Trevor, we are all walking each other home. Most of us can relate to you and your situation at varying degrees. Good luck on your journey! 🙏🏽
Confidence for me comes from the evidence of keeping promises that I make to myself
I feel you Trevor! Lots of ppl experience some similar version of you.
Dr. John, I believe I believe I suck because my dad rejected me as his child when I was born. Though he apologized when I was 11, I still think it affects me negatively! I’m trying though! All the best Trevor🇯🇲🇺🇸🖤🙏🏾
🇯🇲🇯🇲🇯🇲
@@rocsib9551 🖤💚💛❤️
I’m in a similar boat. I always self sabotage. But this is a very clear advice: “show up for yourself… all the mundane things…” thank you!
"What do want you want to do with your life?"......I wanna rock!!!!
Was feeling depressed so I clicked on this video. Saw your comment, made me laugh, so I had to go watch the music video again. As soon as the beat hit, I was out of my chair dancing and singing. Thank you for helping to spark joy in me with your funny comment. I'm feeling better already 😊🎶🎸🥁
this video couldn't be more timely, ive suffered through the same things looking for external reasons why i feel depressed. it's internal thoughts that fuel it
Treavor thank you for bringing up your delima. I had my husband watch this. Then I had him just listen. His life is shared with you. Dr John thank you for the powerful question of " who wrote that your life sucks" It hit home with my husband. It was a door opener for conversation. as well as a door to his heart. Thank you
Being single I found confident in me. Every time I remember the past makes me feel bad how my life was pain. Feeling guilt and shame of being this and that.. The bossy coworkers. The mean friends in the school the gashlighting family. And the cheater husbands.. Extra just insane and why in the world every one put you down for no reason?
Hey Trevor. Idk if you'll ever see this man but thank you for calling in. I too suffer with similar demons and cried as I put my hand on my chest and followed docs instruction. Its a war, but if we win the small battles we will overcome. This meant a lot to me and Im sure many others.
This guy needs to resolve his own issues of poor self image and self hatred before he attempts to coach other people. He keeps repeating "I don't really know" over and over again when asked the core question of why he doesn't like himself. If he can't look at his own past and make any kind of connection between trauma and how it formed his self image, he has no business trying to guide other people's lives.
Damn. This is so very much me. I never feel good enough, always feel like I can do better, and yet I have accomplished quite a bit. I got some big goals coming up for these next few years, and yet they don't feel like they're enough for me. I definitely adding this video to my favorites, I'll be listening to it weekly if I have to.
You aren't alone. 💛
this is a society thing, its being able to compare yourself to others all the time and you can always find somebody you don't measure up to. i struggle with it all the time
I think coaching is helping him! Trevor, have confidence and believe you truly are making a difference. You can do this. I think just being in the navy and now moving forward to coach others is a huge step in helping you heal. Add prayer and a positive journal to that and you will succeed.
I’m praying and pushing for you! And yes you can think yourself to confidence! Turn off the negative tapes! Catch yourself before you start the negative thoughts!
Praying for you!!
I spend a lot time of time wishing that I was smarter and able to make better decision in my 20s as well as a teen. I have felt inadequate all my life.
That is the defectiveness schema that comes from negligent/inattentive parents:
Other resulting
Pattern patterns/ behaviors are as follows:
Avoid conflict
Emotional repression or being disconnected from your emotions
poor at giving or withholding
avoid empathy
Low level entitlement
Social anxiety
Patterns of worry/ anxiety
Irritation
lack of beliefs
repressed needs
defectiveness schema
Emotional distancing
instability and inconsistency rigidity
addiction
hyper independence
emotional neglect of self or others
controlling of environment/ space
lack of expression
dismissive Of others.
When children do not get the love, care, and physical presence that they need, they internalize it and believe that they are broken. Your parent may have been uninvolved because they were just busy working. But to a child, the reason doesn't change the reality.
This of course, means that you have an insecure attachment style (fearful avoidant, anxious preoccupied, or dismissive avoidant).
Look into subconscious reprograming To reprogram Your base operating system. You can reprogram those wounds of being unloved unworthy, not safe, unseen, not valued, worthy, etc. You can heal and finally be able to love yourself.
I don't even know how the hell I found it. I found the personal development school with Thais Gibson. Her work guarantees a breakthrough within thirty days or something. It is 67 bucks a month. I just paid for a month and then downloaded all of the workbooks and videos. It took 1 week for me to remove that defectiveness feeling I lived with for 38 years. Honestly, I didn't even finish the course😂😂😂. I half ass did the exercise book and fundamentally changed my life.
Once I understood that Because of the programming that I received as a child, I acted a certain way. I wasn't broken. I was functioning as designed. The problem is that the design wasn't great. I called it trauma bingo because When I saw the chart with all of those behaviors listed everything described me. I then realized that I could Change the programming and that would result in different behaviors.
I woke up 1 day and decided that I loved myself. One year later, I'd lost 100 pounds without exercise. I stopped drinking alcohol and started fasting. Healed my relationship my with my mother (only worked because she did her work too). My life completely changed.
I fundamentally changed my life with 1 week of a half completed course. It was so effing easy, I legitimately get infuriated because I suffered for so long and this was out there and no one talked about it. Hence the reason, why I've written a damn novel in UA-cam thread. I just want to share. It didn't take 5 years of therapy!
Reading the Bible helps to make you feel worthy and to know your enough just as you are.
I had to change myself from being Gay, and an arsonist so I don't go to hell.
Other fairy tales aren't bad either.
@@S.Morgensternwow you totally got him!!!! No one cares moron
*AMEN*
Didnt help me
It all ties in when you have kids
I regret having kids
@@wheatstonebridgeoof😬
Yes! The more the better!
@@wheatstonebridge why? You don't love them?
How???
John hit the nail on the head.
This guy is blocked. When Dr. John starts asking him about where his internal self-denigrating narrative... "I don't really know" is all he can say, over and over.
It's like, he doesn't want to psychoanalyze his upbringing and yet that's where all this is rooted, 100% of the time. I.E. perhaps Trevor's dad wasn't there in some serious way, perhaps his mom was an emotional trainwreck who probably didn't want her kids.
I’m sure it’s just hard to come up with an answer on the spot and don’t want to give a silly answer on the phone lol.
I agree this guy could probably make some strides with therapy
Sometimes it's not upbringing. I had lots of confidence and security but lost it midlife due to cheating husband and exhaustion.
Get Inner Peace! That’s being healed! Being confident in humbling yourself- literally no matter what anyone else says!! 😊
Society keeps making us think we should be somebody else. Be YOU! Learn to love you and not an idea. Being different means you have more to contribute to humanity.
I admire your honesty and vulnerability
Delony Gang Roll Call
Woop!!!
Here! 🙋🏻♀️
Been apart of the gang since day one! Love Dr. John so much!! 😊
Dude I relate to this a whole lot, similar story with Army SF. I’ve struggled with careers and jobs my whole life. It’s very hard to determine where these feelings come from.
It’s your body telling you the dreams were squashed by your dad in childhood .. your body is saying “ yo dude , protect your ego , hide “
Your dad was a lousy parent .. not a good guy
That’s what your body is telling you
The story came from dad
And now you are coaching other people but so is John and he is in therapy so it’ll
Be a great help to other parent related body / mind issues
Brilliant advice John
I sincerely believe many of our feelings of shortcomings arrive on the vessel of modern short-term thinking that had invaded our society as a whole. So much information overload and mass distribution of inside look into OTHER people "lifestyle".
It derails alot of people
Ask God what it is he wants you to do and do it!!! Even if it's challenging it won't always be like that
Just Brilliant. Such a worthwhile conversation.
this is so good
He seems to have NO energy! No vitality! He is depressed I think.
Great hair AND great advice ☝️😎 subscribed
i miss the authentic faces in the thumbnails from the calls
I could really use some advice from you Dr. Delony. How can I get a few minutes to talk?
Trevor is worth it!
lets gooooo!
Dude's lost! Has no business being a life coach! I guess it's no worse than a marriage counselor who can't keep a relationship.
I don't no 😅
It doesn’t matter what you do. Life is a dead end road.
12:30 delony
Wow, I used to have that same damnable ticker tape running through my head. Time to fire that narrator!
Idk how I feel about these new thumbnails...
He needs Jesus. He is your purpose. Serve him, love and serve others. Be selfless, think about others instead.
LOL
Does he have kids? He needs kids lol
At least five! 😂
Make it ten kids. Ten screaming kids will solve all of his problems. 😅😂🤪🤪
@@terriesmith2616 🤣🤣😄😄
No he doesn't. Kids are not mini therapists.