How I Manage To Start A Conversation With Anyone
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- Опубліковано 28 чер 2020
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We've all been there, you see someone that you want to meet, but you aren't quite sure what to say. You get nervous and overthink it, and eventually you don't say anything at all.
That scenario is awful, so in this video you're going to learn 5 easy ways to start a conversation in any situation.
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
0:16 - #1: "Hey, I don't think I've met you yet, I'm..."
0:43 - #2: "Hey, I know this is totally random, but..."
1:25 - #3: The "Tourist" Technique.
2:12 - #4: The "Ben Franklin".
2:53 - #5: The spontaneous complement.
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Introverts be like: "So, uh, do you like oxygen"?
Actually, it makes me uneasy to think I'm constantly breathing the stuff, even though it's actually toxic for humans. Air has only 21% oxygen, we couldn't take 100%. Isnt it sick that everybody thinks air is just oxygen when it's just 1/5, and we need it to survive even though it poisons us?
(keeps droning on while all the introverts look around, wondering how they'll gracefully escape the conversation)
Umm no, if ur an introvert it doesn't mean that u are bad at sociality.
WE just like it alone...
@Dyler Turden haha did you learn that from a tyler durden? ;)
Reminds me of: _then you remember how nice it was being able to breathe..._
I would instantly like the person who approached me with that phrase! It lets me know that he or she is completely aware of the inherent trouble of conversation starting, but in a surprising and funny way.
I hate the fact that
If I don't start the conversation
There won't be one
While i get where you're coming from there must have been some instances where some stranger just randomly talked to you.
@@real765rp8 his name is abu, no they don't.
@@Guitarded 😂
Why have you
typed your comment
like this?
That was almost a haiku, but line 2 has two extra syllables and line 3 is missing one
"Hey, I know this is totally random, but I saw you were wearing a t-shirt. I also happen to like wearing t-shirts, so you see we must have a lot in common. Let's grab brunch."
Nailed it, gonna use it
@@kenrickmiu9849 dont do this dont do dis
MomoshiroTakeshi94 lol hey
MomoshiroTakeshi94 lol why ***
It's an amazing comment are u commentator??????!??!?!?
-Hey, could you watch my stuff while I go to the bathroom?
-Sure
*leaves with your stuff*
-Hey I know that's totally random but the guy who was sitting here just stole my stuff, lets be friends
Big brain time.
Your comment is funny; are you a comedian?
@@alexandracomus755 Hey, I'm new here. What's a comedian?
Bruh 😂
nice
"Hey, Zuko here" is my go to
On another note; if you need to end an awkward conversation, hit them with “Thats rough, buddy”.”
Hey ruky here
@@Simon-xl1yz From my experience refrences haven't been a good conversation stater
Your username is really on point
Rukysees what?
Still learning to be human. They are getting less suspicious. Soon i will walk among them. Thank you charisma on command.
if you have to tell humans you're also human, you may have compromised yourself, you may need to return to the lab for more tweaks :D
Oh no....they're coming to us. Quick, hop in the chamber!
That's really funny
"hey I'm new to this planet, can you please tell who's your leader??"
* bleep bloop *
oh really? where are you from? i'm from imaginenationland where all dreams are a reality lol
@@professorbaxtercarelessdre1075 I'm from Zogwarg.. good to see ya pal
@@nameisrango oh i've never been there, but i heard it has great Dimphlemorphs and Garksnox :D
@@professorbaxtercarelessdre1075 ohh.. seems like you've been here, you're quite familiar with our wizards
Be brave enough to start that conversation that matters. And do not forget that every good conversation starts with good listening 🖖
I'm an introvert, but can talk to the hottest stranger, as long as it's about something practical, like going to an Indian and ask her if she knows where to find a shop selling ghee (hard to find in Europe, but a common ingredient in Indian cuisine). I can also make joking compliments to acquaintances, but making a serious compliment or asking someone out...
@@edi9892 Yes.That's why the original comment is terrible advice. It's hard enough to think of anything to say, if it has to something "that matters" then that puts even more pressure on it.
@@plica06 You missread it, my friend. What matters is starting the conversation. That was the idea behind the first sentence.
and a friendly smile
@@edi9892 sounds like immaturity no offense
All of our social skills need work after this lockdown period. Trust me. You’re not alone with this. Lol
Glad to see I'm not alone.
Me too 😭😭
i never had any to begin with lol
Lol that’s so true🤦🏾♂️😂
@@professorbaxtercarelessdre1075 same
3 principles for introverts:
1. When u realised that other ppl also focus on themselves, it becomes comically easy to feels confidents.
2.Ask question to start a conversation.
3.Simplify words. Dont pre planned. Say what on ur mind.
Extras:
4.Conversation is all about making the other person feels special. Keep eye contact.
I thought the "Ben Franklin" was "give the guy a hundred bucks and see where the conversation goes from there". Pity...
I was expecting an opening line about syphilis.
i gave you a hundredth like, so take consolation in the minuscule amount of pointless internet points you have received
@@keithchristensen4598 Fantastic, my life is minusculely less pointless.
that sure would be an interesting way to get to know someone, by a fist to your face most likely lol
Best conversation starter in the bathroom: "What's up? Takin a couple drips?"
How does it smell in there
Second Best Bathroom Conversation Starter: "Hey, you sure do have a pretty mouth".
"Hey. Wanna do a pissing contest? The loser(s) stays here forever."
Fun fact: Link from Rhett & Link used the random compliment to meet his wife. "Hey, I like your boots!" 😂
In all honesty, I've been an avid follower for 3 or 4 years now. All the advice you've provided has, without a doubt, improved my ability to interact with people.
Just wanted to take a moment to thank you for maintaining this channel all this time. Thank you so much guys, you're an absolute asset to the self help community.
Okay this is how to start a conversation, wtf do I say after I introduce myself? I need a guide for introverts please, with examples
Charisma university! I’m currently taking the course, and it covers that.
@Dyler Turden omg that's actually a good idea, if they don't get creeped out then they're probably pretty fun to be friends with 😂 Thanks for the suggestions everyone!
Edit: if anyone still has a suggestion then say it please, I need all the help I can get..
Yesss please
I often ask about their name ("That's a pretty name. How did you wind up with it?" "What type of culture does your name represent?" "Like [insert celebrity with same name OR make a pun using their name]?). For you I'd say "Malak... as in, my lack of knowledge is showing"
Or their accent. It usually leads into their background which can give you more ideas for directing conversation.
Alternatively, I ask why they are here, how long they've been here, what their plans are for later in the day.
I'm an introvert and find conversation tricky. I heard that some retirement homes have been trialling robots that vaguely converse with the old folks (they just go around and ask "How are you? How are the grandkids?"), and apparently it makes the retirees feel happier and more at ease. So if a robot can perk people up by asking generic questions, we sure as hell can do it! And probably better too!
@@jaxtheripper9663 hey! what do you think about the course? since when were you taking it? I'm trying to look for opinions
Me, a sociable T800: "Hi. I know this is random, but I love your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle. Give them to me. Now."
I went on holiday to Spain with my ex and her family once, when the train we were on stopped at the station due to what we later suspected was an emergency.
While the passengers were looking around, visibly confused, and we all fell victim to a very awkward silence, my ex didn't hesitate to point out to a random man on the train about the book he was reading, and asked if he was a psychologist. This sparked a very interesting conversation and led to the rest of the cabin opening up alot more so we could enjoy this unusual event. This man also turned into a friend which they are still in contact with to this day.
She dared to start a conversation about something she noticed about someone, in a foreign country, not knowing if that person even spoke a word of english. Never in my life have i been more impressed with someone, ever.
Great tips. “I haven’t met you yet “ is my favorite and so useful.
This feels very useful starting out in a new company or at business events and beats awkwardly sliding into a group of people who know each other already and awkwardly stuttering your own name.
absolutely!
Similarly when your in those types of events and you have been in a circle with someone a couple times but not directly spoken/been introduced yet a simple hey we haven't officially met is great too
@@mattsavage6365 it sure isn't anything i ever would've thought of trying on my own lol
Best line from joey : Heyyyy how u doing
Let’s face it: starting a conversation can be intimidating. Whether you’re meeting a total stranger, trying to network, or on a first (or even tenth) date, it’s often difficult to know what to say to start a conversation and keep it flowing. Introducing yourself to a stranger or approaching an acquaintance might seem anxiety-inducing, but it shouldn’t be. It’s far riskier to get on a highway in a car than it is to walk up to somebody at a party or a networking event. Luckily, even though it might seem like good conversation skills are something some people are just born with, all it takes is a bit of practice.
For weak people, maybe
@@Jackmerius_Tacktheritrix5733 What classifies someone as "weak"?
It doesn't take practice... Some people are just in the zone and know how to go with flow, others do not know how to listen to the silence so they feel awkward.
@@xianthegaian4060 I don't understand why you're disagreeing with me and then just rephrasing the same thing I wrote.
yeah the worst that'll usually happen is far less bad than we assume, our imagination is what gets the better of us, in my case it sure is
I just graduated from a bachelor's degree this year. I have yet to fully decide whether to continue a masters degree or find work by September. But I decided to work on a project of mine which is filming videos about self-development on UA-cam. I've already uploaded 8 and will keep doing so over the summer. Thank you Charisma on Command for the inspiration!! 🙏
I’ll sub
Hey Bruv, "I know this is totally random, but" I'm on the spectrum and these videos are helpful. I like how it's not all PUA and dominance stuff. More content on eye contact and facial expressions would be good too!
an old trick to fake eye contact if you're way too nervous is to look at people in the point between their eyes. They won't really know and you can ask someone to test it on you to. For facial expressions, if you mean how to understand them better, I honestly think being open with others and asking them what that expressions means could help you form a deeper connection with them because you allow yourself to be vulnerable to them and they also get to help you out and understand you better. Good luck out there :)
“Here random stranger watch my stuff for a minute!”
You must not live in a big city guy.......
Exactly lol.
I usually like his advice, but I find this video is kind of hollow.
I think it's better to create a conversation around a situation than singling out someone because it will sound like a pickup line.
So if you are waiting in line or sitting in a coffee shop, you say something like "I always like coming here, the service is great alternatively, this line is taking forever!" Then say a joke or play off their response.
If some random says, "Can you do me a favor," I'm going to say no.
Similarly, if they ask for fun recommendations I'd help them but if I were less decent, they would be an easy target for robbery, by announcing, "Hey I'm an American tourist! I don't know what I'm doing."
Stick to asking for directions, then jump into a conversation.
Ariki And for a free colonoscopy wear a hajib 😂
I was JUST watching your old videos about starting conversations and never running out of things to say. Like most of your vids I've watched them like a hundred times so I appreciate the new/updated tips!
Normal person: Hey!
Me having social anxiety: byeeeeeeee
Hey!
I also Used to be that way! But try to change your self talk when you encounter people, works!
same, or so it has been, trying not to be like that
Thank you for this amazing video. I’m greatly blessed by it. I’ve learnt these brilliant conversations starters. For those who can’t watch video in full or without sound, here are the main techniques.
1. Introduce: I haven’t met you yet.
2. Acknowledge: Hey I know this is totally random but...
3. Tourism Technique. Hey. I’m new in town. Do you know... Do you have any idea ... Can you help...
4. Ben Franklin: Thank you so much for.... By the way, I’m ....
5. Spontaneous Compliment. Wow, you’ve got great style! Are you a fashion designer? Etc
If you learnt something f from this video, and find my notes useful, kindly let me know.
You should watch the video again.
Adrian Thank you Adrian.
Thank you for this useful summary! I have a thought that you might consider doing this for all the charisma on command videos! ;-)
This is a nightmare world where everyone has been dosed with the Joker's laughing gas
Aside from the insane stretched perma-smiles, I particularly like the deranged way the protagonist blinks asymmetrically at 3:13
I think it's cos one of his pupils is on the outside of his eyelid O_O
This has been somewhat helpful, that’s for sure, but it’s blatantly based on american (or at least not generally european) culture. Unless you’re at a party or _maybe_ a bar, starting to talk to someone like that genuinely makes you look like a crazy person. If not crazy, very weird. It’s just not something you do. The most I’ve gotten is “hey where’d you get those pants?” (visually very shy, awkward approach), and the most I’ve said is “omg is that Eragon? I love that book!” (said to a girl that I saw every day on the bus, and I had to build up to that for like 15 minutes). Both of these happened in my middle school, which was relatively small. This meant you’d see everyone around quite often.
Those are the only two spontaneous encounters I’ve had that didn’t come off as mentally deranged/senile. A paradise for introverts, until you really need to say something to a stranger...
For parties/people you don’t know that well but enough to attempt conversation this is still a useful vid, but I just wanted to say this :)
- "Hey, I am new to this town, any cool drinks in this place?
- "Sure, blablabla, where are you from?"
- "Oh, I live across the street"
*You walk into a coffee shop. You choose your target*
- Hey, could you watch my stuff for a moment?
*You look around and see many people inside. You choose 5 of them and walk up to one after another*
- Hey! Could you watch that guy watching my stuff for a moment while I go and take a dump?
*You walk out and see a random guy who's about to go into the shop*
- Hey! Could you kindly do me a favor and stop anybody who'd try to make it out with my stuff while I do some weed there where nobody sees?
*You go back to the first person*
- Thanks, dude! I gotta go, bye!
*You go out. None of the people you talked to notices you. They're all too busy intensely looking at the first person, focusing all their energy on doing you a favor, a favor that will never be returned*
Is this supposed to be a Joe Goldberg monologue from the show You?
ROFL, literally
😂😂😂that's just awesome i love it so much
this sounds like something from an episode of a sitcom lol
So concise, great work with the script and animations! Loved it🙌
Charlie, Ben, this is a fantastic video! The animations are so good. This might just be one of my top 5 videos you've ever made. Well done gents.
I love how easy this tips are♥️♥️
Thank you so so so much for this, as a reserved person I have always had this big problem and you just helped it a toooon
This is great info! I'm one of those people who can be super socially awkward sometimes, so I'm excited to practice these 🙃
Hey! Just wanted to say thank you, your video on public speaking greatly impacted me. It inspired me to start my own channel. Thanks
this guy really helping out, cheers to you mate, love your vids
Loved the message (as usual) but also the realization. Love those formats 😉
I will use all 5 in one single attempt. Thank you, Charisma on Command!
I love this topic in particular
the animation brings so much to the video! huge props to the animator(s) for this one!
Really like this new style of animated shorts, keep it up!
😄😄😄This video is perfect for me! Thank you guys for uploading this video on your UA-cam channel in time!😁😁😁
I very much approve of the new style, guys! Hope you keep it
Great video - to the point yet elaborated. Great advice!👌
These are very helpful! Thanks alot for these
'ight, conversation starters, check
Gimme some conversation continuers
Dangg it seemed like only yesterday I was watching you at only 527k subscribers. Now you’re at 4 million?! Congrats & thanks for changing peoples lives!
Great video as always plus the animation quality was amazing
Love the animation! Keep it going Charlie, I can't even remember how long I've been watching the channel by now.
I’ve already used all these but thanks, I’ll try the course.
Short and to the point, good video man👍
Wow, this is so helpful!
I love these videos and wish this stuff came more naturally to me lol
Hey!!!
Can you make a video of "who is going to win this year and why"
I was very impressed by your logical arguments back in 2016.
Thanks
When did you guys start animating your videos? It's super helpful and helps keep me interested in the content. Also super useful for showing examples of the content!
1) Hey I don't think I've met you yet. I'm ______
2) Hey I know this is totally random but _____ (whatever you notice about the person or situation)
3) Tourist Technique (Allow yourself to be the lost tourist and ask locals for recommendations) "Hey I'm new to the area do you ___"
4) Ben Franklin Method (Ask for a small favor and then start the conversation; indirect method)
5) Spontaneous Compliment follows by a Cold Read "Wow you've got great style are you a fashion designer?"; Has to be genuine and avoid complimenting body
Thanks for everything Charlie!!
Thanks man love your videos
Love these tips. I’m not always good at starting a conversation. This will help!
good luck to you
'Hey I'm new to the area'
'where are you from?'
'I am from Antarctica.'
Love these tips! Definitely true bout the body comment making people uncomfortable! Someone did the "cold read" technique with me one day, complimenting my dress asking if I'm into fashion, and then proceeded to say "I couldn't help but notice you have a beautiful body shape, sorry but I had to look" something like that 😬 All I wanted to do was leave that convo asap!!!
Great animation! I hope to see vids like this in the future!
This is great!
i love the content and the animation on this one!
@Charisma On Command You are The Best
Would you happen to have any tips on feeling nervous upon meeting someone in person for the 1st time, despite having built up communication online only prior?
It tends to weigh heavy w/ the pressure of having invested norms to overcome. Thanks for the content as usual
Solid topic, keep it up
Nice to hear your voice again Charlie! Hope Ben isn’t completely burnt out on making videos haha. I just wanted to let y’all know that I love this video format with the animation and I think that it has a lot of potential. Once critique that I have for y’all is that the characters were not very diverse and I think that can hinder the message that this video has. Besides the one black woman, all of the characters seemed to be white, especially in the party scene. I believe that it’s important to represent the wide variety of people whose lives you have positively impacted, including mine! Hope y’all are doing well and look forward to seeing more on your channel!
I'm a personal fan of "come here often?"
these animations are so cool
Bought the program. Thank you.
I find it hardest to talk to older people in pain or in the hospital because they’re usually depressed and it would be really helpful to know how to talk to them better
OMG I FEEL LIKE SO ACCOMPLISHED THAT I DO THESE ALREADY!!?!?!
I really like the animations!
The animations are really cool!
Love the animation!
All this time I thought the Ben Franklin method was to smack a wad of cash against the other guy's face. So THAT'S why it's not working.
It’s okay, it still works as long as you let them keep the cash ;)
Only saw the 1st tip and already PRESSED the like button
These are indeed some great tips, thanks for sharing the
(I also do videos on stuff like this)
Please do a video on Kobe Bryant's mamba mentality and what we can learn from his legacy. Love all your videos btw and thank you for sharing your knowledge
Rebuilding myself. All humans need to watch all of these videos. It’s the equivalent of added things to your game in the off-season.. life is our season... so any down time.. gotta stay sharp.. let’s do it
Cool video! Could you guys maybe make a charisma breakdown on Jude Law and/Or Dicky Greenleaf from The talented mr. Ripley? He has some kind of nonchalant charm, and it would be so cool to learn that!
I've been watching Charisma on Command for years. I liked their videos. That is why I decided to create my own sci-fi/futurist Channel. 👍🙂
Thanks
Congruence is the answer as long as you can maintain it.. your words, thoughts and actions have to be both aligned..!!
Wow!
Welcome back Charlie. :)
Going to use this one tomorrow in a Reality Show in Swedish Television 📽 Thanks!
love this do parte 2 whats after that ?
thank you
The animation is POPPIN. 👌👌👌
I like the animation! 👌
Amazing video
Love the animations man, you got a GUCCI graphics guy
Please do a thing on healthcare workers. I need it. It’s awkward sometimes.
Peeps are grumps, sometimes. Btw thank you for all of videos. I really appreciate them.
Yooo This video=FACTS
liked the content and loved the animation XD
PRO TIP: *Have a friend creep someone out, and be the hero.*
Me: *walks up to stranger*
"That guy's been following you around"
Stranger: What? Who are you?!
Me: Come with me and you'll be safe.
😏
What the f
Did I just see a kidnap happen
Hey, I know it's totally random but would you do me a small favor and pretend to be a creep so I can befriend that stranger over there?
Really love this channel - very handy! Here's a request for another video... I work in a supermarket and sometimes when I chat to customers, they get flirty. I stick to really normal, scripted conversation like the weather, plans for the rest of the day, how busy the shop is, etc. But, for example yesterday, I asked a customer "would you like a receipt?" and he said "Only if it's got your number on it" 🙄 So what's the best way to shut down inappropriate behaviour while maintaining civility?
That sounds so frustrating, my advice would be to just smile, as if they have to be joking kinda way and just hand them the receipt or find some other way to politely shut down the conversation. Just my advice tho probs best to ignore as since I’ve clicked on the vide so I’m obviously not great at social skills😂
He flirted and asked for your number, why are you acting like he groped you? My middle aged female coworker the other day was telling me how she used to get frustrated with customers hitting on her as a young attractive woman. Now, she'd give anything to go back to being "too attractive"
My advice: take the compliment, and politely decline, and grow up.
Cwise85 mate you sound like your part of the problem. The problem is that she shouldn’t have to put up with feeling sexualized or uncomfortable while she’s working. It’s an inappropriate place to try to flirt and chat people up, if it was a bar or club sure but not while she’s working and trying to do her job 🤷♀️
@@aisling8092 It is a part of life and life happens wherever you happen to be wether you want to or not. Politely decline or say your bf or husband wouldnt like that and if they get creepy or pushy get the manager or security.
Mr. Orange I get that and I do agree with what your saying but what I was trying to say to the person who replied is that they shouldn’t have tried to dismiss her feelings when she said it made her uncomfortable by telling her to get over it. Although it does happen and unfortunately it’s a part of life but it shouldn’t be normalized and she has a right to be upset or feel uncomfortable when something like that happens.
Girls love it if you sneak up, sniff their hair and then tell them what shampoo they are using.
This animation is great