How to spot a toxic friend; Ways to tell right away if you can trust someone
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- Опубліковано 25 лип 2013
- Usually these types will put up a good front. They will act really caring at first. But then, the claws come out! They will never have enough time to listen to your problems, but boy, you'd better be all ears when the least little thing happens in their life. If you call someone like this a friend, put him/her on the back burner. It's not to say you can't socialize at all with them, but be careful, and don't share personal details about your life.
Marie Dubuque is a life coach who loves to give advice on everything from dating dilemmas and tricky social situations to drama-filled friendships and romantic relationships gone south! - Навчання та стиль
Insults disguised as a joke.
amen!
and the crooked smiles when you're sharin your problems.
Sel in.Or snarky comments.
Exactly. You can feel instantly a tension and that something is not right.
exactly!! the reason I ditched them..
I drop toxic people completely. It's all or nothing with me. Life is too short to waste on narcissists and backstabbers.
I totally agree and do the same :) It’s a sign we’ve arrived at holding respect for ourselves. 🧡 Much love and light your way.
Me too. First sign and they’re out.
It’s truly hard to find a true friend that is honest and loyal. You must be careful not to ever give personal/private information that could be used against you.
Unfortunately i learnt the hard way when the damage had been done.
I keep telling everyone everything 🤦♀️ I’m taking a screenshot of your advice, thank you 🙏💖
Sad but true.
@@rachelmoore5079 me too.
@@rachelmoore5079 me too and idk what to do I'm embarrassed ALL THE WAY
Friendships are hard! Just when you think you got someone for life , they totally turn , like rotten fruit
You don t need toxic people in your life. You deserve better people.
I'm done with this whole 'friendship' drama! I'm just tired and frustrated and I cannot go on anymore. I'm better off alone.
Me too.
olivia quirino same this friend I have is making me depressed and all I want is a true friend :( she criticises my weight and everything ugh
Sandra Garcia how do you handle it
theguyoverthere Honestly I was so afraid to lose her as a friend but you have to think about yourself. Don't try to please everyone! That was my biggest mistake is letting her run my life, you need to talk to that friend and ask them why they do this, if they give you an answer then you will know. But I was hurt and I still am but keep telling yourself this is for me I don't her/him, I just think I do. :)
+Anamika Diaries Me too. My "best friend" of nearly 7 years literally dropped me like a rock, and gave the stupidest reason why. I'm still coping (It's been about 3 month since the friendship "breakup"), and it's so tough.
Now I realize that almost all the friends around me are toxic...
Good for you :) I have gotten rid of one terrible friend after posting the comment in Dec last year, and I am SO much happier than before. I am more open to different people and have gained more friends who are as positive as I do.
That friend just occupied so much of time, giving me negativity, disrespecting and manipulating me, judging me for every word I said, everything I did. He always tried to make me look stupid and emphasized that he is a genius.
I think the turning point was that I finally determined to cut him off. Cos he looked for me literally everyday, and I didn't know how to reject him, so the vicious cycle just went on. But then I really stopped replying to him for months despite how many messages he sent.
Because of this video I could realize my "best friend" was actually a toxic person. We spent hours on the phone, sometimes for more than 4 hours straight only talking about her, her life, her problems, her her her.. As soon as I started to talk about my life she switched the subject to herself again. for 10 years was like that! thank you for the video!!
It's strange how we all get attached to the wrong people and it's even more strange how we can not let them go even when we know they are bad for us
Same omg
How you holding up now? Hope you cut her off
@@checharles5224 Thanks for asking! I cut her off, after 10 years, I was totally blind. It was funny because sometimes she often stayed for more than 5 hours on the phone with me, I was just listening to her life, fell asleep during the call, woke up and she didn't even notice!!
I felt used during all these years. When my cousin and good friend died unexpectedly I called her, immediately she started talking about her grandmother who also died a few years ago and changed the subject... That was a wake up call but after this video I finally woke up!!
@@Evandrosab not alone with this experience.
People are just awful. I want to be a good person, but man it is just so hard with such nasty people around. I give individuals a chance before I write them off; but collectively there is so much rot and filth that sometimes I just feeling like breaking in half and turning into a monster.
Always be kind, even if others haven't been. It'll show that you're the better person.
+Bexy Evans what's the point of that when you keep getting taken advantage of or insulted ?
It's not your fault. You're destined for something great, just like I am. I know exactly how you feel because I've been through all that. I believe the brokenhearted have a testimony at the end of it all. Just keep holding on, you'll get through this. Sad bot
Bexy Evans I'm sorry but that's really hard to believe. It just sounds like you want to say something nice so I get happy for the moment because of your "support" and then I won't bother you anymore, which is fine, I can understand that. I don't think everyone is destined to be great.Life is not like that. Anyways it isn't an answer to the question I asked. In my experience showing yourself to be the better person by being kind hardly has any effect on those that are nasty. Infact once you give them another chance or do the forgive and forget nonsense it just makes them think they can walk over you again.
I'm not one to say what people wanna hear, and you're probably thinking the same about me because a lot of people have hurt you enough to convince you of that thinking. I'm a very honest person, and I'm speaking from a point where I can say; "I actually overcame depression". This isn't about being nice, this is me speaking the truth. A lot of people will deceive you, but not a lot of people will be honest with you. Life is beautiful, and I've experienced it. It's oftentimes the brokenhearted that have the greatest stories to tell. You may not realise it now...but in time, you will. Sad bot
just woke up to the fact that my "best friend" is a toxic friend
Its just a shame how many chances we give these people.I am so much happier with my family members who are so loyal that I wish I had always just kept them as my closest allies instead of putting myself through the misery of having these toxic people surrounding me, nice to our faces but completely different when you aren't there. You only start noticing when they find new friends and they come and tell you the horrible intimate details of these peoples lives that no one should take any happiness in telling or hearing, i was disgusted at what these people had to say about their new found friends and came to a very late realisation that we too had obviously been subjected to the same nastiness some of which I knew and forgive, so please take it from someone who knows do not let that toxic person back in ur life sweetie it's hardships u don't need or deserve, find friends u can trust, suss them out by how they talk about others and how they treat others, takecare of you and ur family friends come and go, family love youxx
Me too. I need to find to tell her, she isn't a good friend, but a horrible one with being rude.
Mikkloud~AMVs me too
sadly, me too. And it took me a while to realise because my blinders were on for close friends.
I have had so many toxic people in my life mostly family.....I’ve walked away from so many people........but there’s one thing.........never allow arsehole people to change your heart 💓 otherwise they have won.......and no I’m not going to let this happen ......they are the ones in the wrong not me......I’m still going to get out there and be kind and love my life.....you only have one chance don’t blow it on losers.......x
Most people in this world are like this anymore. I feel like we live in such a narcissistic, self-centered society. I can only handle listening to someone for so long before I lose complete interest. I’m not the best at just babbling on about myself, but I do so appreciate the few people I know who ask me questions, and then genuinely listen.
OMG---yes, yes yes. The competing thing was a serious issue as well. I always got the feeling that she had me as a friend just so that she could one-up me. I always felt as if I was in the movie "Gaslight" with her. The mind games were getting too out of hand and I had to put a stop to it. I always felt as I was losing my mind around her.
Spot on. Too bad that 99.9 % of the people I know is like that, tired of dealing with them.
My best friend of 22 years is a toxic friend. It's only really been the last 2 years where I've noticed it. They constantly interrupt, continuously tell me everything about what they did during the day, but never have time to listen. I'm a sentimental type of person so it's hard to say goodbye, but thankfully I've learnt to put them on the back burner and 'use' them in the same way they 'use' me. It's not as close as we used to be, but I'm a lot happier these days.
i have a friend exactly like that ^^. i'll probably take your advice and put her on the back burner as well
Bailey M Best thing you could do. If you find yourself listening to their 'tales' disproportionately more than you get to express yourself then it's no love lost. You're just a sounding board for their ego, choose to be the canvas for YOUR dreams instead :)
Peace B, it will work out in the end.
ㅤㅤ thank you so much!! "choose to be the canvas for your dreams" i like the sound of that :)
@@----.__ are you still using that person and are still "friends" with them? If not, how did you end it. I'm struggling to end a 35 year painful "friendship." She won't take a hint and just go away either. It's torture. Any tips you can share on how you cut off a longterm friendship? Or anyone out there? Help!! I have to end it, but how?
I always thought it was my problem that I'm just being too picky on my friends, or that I just don't have the compassion. Now I know, it's okay to dump them, it's their problem, not mine. So big thanks, Marie :)
My entire extended family is like this! They have no interest in me except to find out what I am doing with my life to evaluate it to criticize. There really are very few people who actually care about others.
I agree completely.
You are strong🧠
Yes, it is normal. After mine, I felt as if a huge part of my life just went missing, like there was a break in the pattern. But you know what? I could also think my own thoughts again, hear my own voice and come back to myself. Isolate and quarantine yourself, take a distanced view of the situation and realize the world won't end. That and you can feel the difference between that and a friendship where there is mutual respect and disclosure. Live without fear, rather than live with the fearful.
Thanks I'm autistic and don't know these things Thankyou kindly for helping me❤️
Phelix, so glad I could help. Thanks for watching my videos!
You are so right. It is so frustrating when they are so enveloped in their own world, they cannot take responsibility for anything. It was exactly the same thing with my friend. It made me utterly frustrated.
I had a friend that when she had a huge problem she would harass me. When it was me, she would just put well lol and not put any emotions into it. I cut her off....good riddance!
Have lots of friends. Not just one. That's the key!!!! Even if you go thru a dry friendship season, it's all okay. As a wise sage once told me, keep your eyes open and your mouth closed.
Great advice! Now a days friendships are just about what they can get out of you (not all just some). It's sad that people can't just have friendships w/trust, loyalty & be there for each other . It's one sided. You have to be very picky who you let in your inner circle and don't tell anybody your business.
Exactly!
My own mother is this way. She does nice things to get attention and show off how nice she is. Then turns around and bad mouths the people she’s “nice “ to. You are a tool for her to get her way and get recognition for her good deeds, and her life and events are most important . She never asks how you are,
My neighbor acted like a good friend until a month ago !After, I shared my heartbreaks and personal problems with her , she dropped me and now gossips to her " new" friends about me! Ha ha ha ! Everyone knows she us a narcissist
This one is spot on! There are several people like that in my past. So much so, that when you have that break in conversation and you get that chance to tell them about what's going on with me you can see the vacancy in their eyes, not really present; just thinking about the next thing to say about themselves. used to tolerate that nonsense years ago, not any more.
Same here, I'm just waking up to the realisation that I've also tolerated this BS for years, not anymore, we need to stay away from energy vampires
this was definitely helpful! I have a kind, but sometimes selfish friend who always talks about herself. Whenever I say something she just replies with a one word answer like "yep" "cool" "nice" or "okay"
Yes I think this odd feeling is normal partly because their bad behaviour becomes so familiar. I too got rid of a toxic friend some time ago. I actually had some false guilt; it was as if my new self-esteem and my older conditioning to take disrespect were saying two different things. I got closure by leaving her in God's hands. As I move on, I feel totally validated in my decision to let her go as I look back on the pattern of behaviour that would destroy any friendship. It taught me so much
Carter, you have to meet new friends. You can do it! You seriously don't want to be too dependent on one person, and that is what's happening here. You are in college. Work on expanding your social circle. Sure, you can stay friends with her, but don't let her be the only one. Join a study group, go to the gym on campus, join an intramural sport, whatever you can find to get you out socializing.
Hi marie,
I was wondering why I like to take a ride away from the same,until just now. Not only for personal time, but for a chance to dream about great things to come. There are a couple of areas of town that I enjoy driveing through. The same ones that are in every city. Everyone waves to you and are pleased to meet you. Yes. You always seem to strike up a freindly conversation with who ever you meet.
I needed to write about tonight but your post brought a tear to my eye and put me at ease. I do not want to burden any one with my toxic friends. I sure we all have a few.
Take care
How to tell if your friend(relative) is jealous of you??
Marie Dubuque
JulieBean Moroco i think you have to avoid him...how about a bff who wants you only and only for hershelf and doesnt let you hug others and be witb others and puts a friend to watching you whatever you do with a friend
Marie Dubuque thanks you for the tips
This proved to be my freedom as well. I would take notes on a lot of the things she'd said to me; things that I thought were lies or contradictions to her original stories that she would tell. I confronted her with these things. She denied it but had a hard time explaining the inconsistency of her stories. She would change the subject, talk about something sad, to get me to change my mind to feel sorry for her. She plays a lot of mind games.
guess i got to throw my only friend away. gods have mercy on my tired soul, because i'm no longer able to put up a fight against fake people.
Marie you are so wise. I wish you were my mom lol
I love that idea of putting people on the back burner and compartmentalizing. I take a mental note of those who I feel are more casual acquaintances and label certain people different relationship categories because it helps me decipher who is an actual friend I can talk to. In general, I’m a private person and don’t share a lot like I used to, so it will take someone super special to know personal things from me.
I was hanging out with some people I recently started getting to know, and as fast as we met they started to gossip about mentally unstable/socially awkward people on dating sites. It was hard for me to find it funny in the slightest (they'll probably start to make fun of me behind my back too). Such toxic behaviour makes me sick in my stomach! :(
In hindsight, I wouldn't have called her a toxic friend, but I do recognize I had overlooked too much when considering letting her into my life. By the time I had realized for myself what was going on, I was mired in it. Despite the fact we had been friends for two years, I felt little to no guilt about letting this one go. Ironically, the response that I got was ,"You'll end up miserable if you keep pushing people away." I'm not saying I was my best, but I have a right to be choosy, set rules.
Totally agree.Equal or nothing.Good for you.
Thank you so much Marie. I just realized that after working together for 7yrs side by side. I thought she was caring and sincere, so I shared some personal stuff with a twist in first year. 3yrs later, I found out she spread rumours with her relatives, they start to be judgemental, discriminated towards me. All of this because she wanted constant ATTENTION since she doesn't have much education or a husband that care much about her; which is what I have .I guess.
So be careful all. Keep it professional at work, dont have to be so open so soon.
For me, I just couldn't stand her, I quit after she bothered me so much.
I like what you said here Marie, but the problem is EVERYONE I run into is pretty much like that. And I've gotten to the point where I honestly don't like people in general anymore.
Nor do I like being in groups, because I have found that sooner or later I'm on the outside looking in. They all connect and are buddies with each other, and I'm on the outskirts.
Maybe there are some people just don't fit into today's world. Maybe there are some who just can't fit into society.
So I have resigned myself to being alone, not because I want to be, but inevitably that's what ends up happening sooner or later.
Toxic. Yep good description of my "friend". Phone call from her "Hi how are you? (don't wait for answer) " and launches into a 20 minute monologue on the latest drama affecting her. She came over, after my mother passed away, and talked about herself for nearly 2 hours. I literally hijacked the conversation to talk about my mother's passing, and SHE cried, in order to get the attention back on her. I'm phasing her out. And I've stopped being a taxi for her too. So liberating.
Good for You! Sorry for your loss of your Mum though.Givers have to stop giving as takers rarely do.I wish you all the best in the future.
So true, so true. This particular subject seems to have touched the lives of a certain amount of people. I am glad I am not alone in this.
Thank you because i needed to hear this. My 'friend' (foe) ALWAYS brings every topic about herself at work or her 13 yr old son. She can go for 5 hours straight blabbing about the same thing i listened to a month ago. At the end while we walk to our cars she will ask "how's your puppy?" By then we will have reached our cars so she doeant have to listen. For the last 3 years I've given her the benefit of the doubt and have been making excuses for her insulating and condescending behavior towards me. After your video, now i know she's toxic and it'll allow me to let go without guilt. 😊
this is literally my exact situation. looks like i need to put someone on the back burner...
Thank You Marie. That was informative and helpful. I seem to meet a lot of toxic people. It's been rather heartbreaking over the years.
SOOOOOOOO GOOD! I just found this channel and I feel like I've struck gold! Being 26 is socially difficult. Listening to you may actually help me finally crack this "being an adult" thing I've heard so much about. It doesn't hurt that your voice is very comforting. Keep it up! You deserve way more views for this quality of advice.
+Jeremy Dean thank you so much.
I am a straight forward person, I choose to be up front with people, I find that people today are very very sensitive, easliy offended, I have no patients with people like this. I applaud you for your video's. I am my own best friend. I choose how is in my circle.
Indeed, I wish I knew this many years ago. :-(
Just run like hell when you meet one !
I put up with a toxic friend for years. I kept making excuses about his behavior. He didn't talk about himself much, but he frequently made hurtful comments, often in the form of inappropriate jokes, especially when something major was happening in my life. For example, he made a crude joke on a photo I'd posted on FB of a dear friend who'd just died--I was grieving horribly. And several times, he made negative comments about my looks. Recently, I was set upon by a criminal gang at a hotel when I was on vacation. The gang was apparently involved in drugs and prostitution. The experience was terrifying. He made an insensitive joke about it, saying that I "might have picked up a new career." That was it. I wanted nothing else to do with him. I regret that I put up with his abuse for so long. Looking back, I realize that he never said anything good about me, was never supportive. I believe he was a "frenemy."
I’m 66 and still learning this lesson. Shameful isn’t it. I’ve got a gullible soul and need to learn to set boundaries. I’ve started and it means I’m even more alone but it’s better to feel alone then to feel like you’ve let yourself be played. No more. No thanks
Thank you so much for this video. It's hard when I stress the signs that you mentioned, but people still don't understand. This helped me realize I was right, even though it hurt to let that person go.
I spent 7 years listning to such a friend until I totally blocked the friend out of my life. It was as you said obvious already in the start how it gonna be...
I have a friend who constantly acts like everyone is less than her including myself at times. She will walk in front of me and leave me behind, cuts me off when I'm talking. It's getting to the point where I don't want to be around her anymore. It's a shame because I think deep down she is a nice person. She even acts this way with her long-term boyfriend.
everything they say is so much more important then what you say.
Dear Marie, thank you so much for your wisdom and knowledge. Your awesome videos reminds me of what family and friends should be all about love, kind, strength, trustworthy, respectful, honest and of course happy with oneself. Namaste!
Yet another great video! So true. So refreshing Marie. Great to see this channel. People can be heavy handed at discussing these issues. And you do it with such grace. The sooner people figure these kinds of issues out, the less drama we'll all have. This channel should be required in schools. Pure Gold!
In all honesty, I recognise many traits like this in myself, but I consciously try to be a good listener and have more empathy for whatever situation someone is in that makes them uncomfortable/sad. I think it also has to do with shyness and how open a person is, I'm just more open than most people and look for original advice, suggestions and just a way of getting it off my chest when I'm talking about a serious problem I have, not to seek someone to feel sorry for me. In my experience more closed off and insecure people generally are not great at giving advice and want people to feel sorry for them for fairly mundane problems.
Cburch folks are. really good at this.
Unfortunately it seems like most of my so called friends aren't interested in anything I have to say. I usually just listen to them talk about themselves until I've had enough then will politely leave.
Marie your truly a blessing to be on this earth you have helped me get through school( only 2 years left)! X
This describes all my friends :( I just feel useless , nobody loves me or Wants me
You seem like a beautiful young lady. Wouldn't surprise me if the toxic female friends were jealous of you.
Jesus loves you. He truly does.
I have a friend like that and it's really tiring
Thank you, Marie for your thoughts. So many people here have offered their view on the subject as well, and it is comforting to know that my situation is not so odd that I need to worry about it.
Wow, I've just cut off a "friendship", or acquaintanceship as I like to call it, today for this very reason. She was toxic. Never really listened to me. She would cut me off when I speak just to say something about her. She start drama with others and try to involve me. She plays the victim; it's everyone else's fault besides her, she's manipulative & uses others by gaining their sympathy in order to get things from them. Smh.
They're always in a silent competition with you;
They always need to "one up" you
I have a friend that is ignoring me. she is hurtingrning my feelings but I'm not showing it .
Dedra Ann Marrujo its time to go wtithout her...you know what i mean..she can't make you feel that way and be together anyways its time to leave her alone to see how it feel to be hurt
uh she aint a friend. no friend would intentionally ignore you...trust, i learned that the hard way but eventually, you have to do right by you and get that person out of your life. it'll suck for a bit, but it gets easier day by day and suddenly you wonder why you cared sooo much about someone who cared sooo little about you.
or maybe you are toxic friend to her
MsActor2009 good point! I met this lady and the first conversations we had are of the drama she had with her other friends and she never takes any blame.
Wow. You are so spot-on. Love your videos! Love the longer ones. Love your wisdom. Thanks!
Very true
i love that your videos are short and you don't go on and on and on. thank you!
Spot on ! I had a mate for 10 years like this ! Then i woke up , she didnt give a toss about me !!!!!! Good riddance
Narcissist EX-Husband is like this! Soooooooooo glad I caught on. God is good
thank you so much! this video has really helped... now to go watch 'how to politely distance yourself from toxic friends'! haha
I'm scared I'm a horrible person
I was molested by a man when I was in 3rd grade and I told my “BFF’s”. they joke about it and touch my butt. (they’re girls and they touch me saying it’s just for fun) I keep telling them to stop but they won’t. I’m still traumatized by what happened when I was in 3rd grade...
Those girls are not your real friends.. Stay strong and cast your cares on GOD!
please tell me you left them. you deserve so much better!!! they are not real friends.
Abir Shahid yeah I did. I told them “if you guys are just gonna make fun of me then I wanna stop being your friend” then they just left :/
• えるあん • okay. I hope if not already u get over it soon. losing a friend hurts no matter what.
Abir Shahid Thank you :)
If they talk about others behind their back they will talk about you.
Thanks. one of my friends is just like that. she is SUPER ANNOYING; however she only does that to me and nobody else. I have seen her act differently with others. it is like she puts on a mask, and she pretends she is all nice and sweet. I am a senior in high school.
Oh my gosh I never thought I could relate more! My friend is a complete different person too! She's so selfish and is caught up with popular people and looking cool. The only difference between you and me is that I'm in middle school... Lol but still I hate people like that
Entitlement. Excessive pride. Arrogance. Betrayal. Being two-faced. Talking smack behind my back, yet smiling in my face ( perhaps the most aggravating of all ). I want to add here that for me, I can sometimes get a very strong intuitive feeling that there is something off about someone ( which is usually confirmed later with poor behaviors like I've mentioned ). It's important to listen to that inner voice.
Much truth in your disertations, Marie. I love your dedication and sincerity. You do much to expose truth and toxcisity.
Almost cried with it. You have a new brazilian fan. :}
You pratically describled what happend to me recently. And actually, happened lots of times before and I "let it go". But not this time. That really, really had hurt me.
But it is too good to be true, to see someone say it, and in such a peaceful and likeable way of it. Makes you realize that you have what you need, which is your own safe, to be free, and hope to put someone better on this empty place.
Thanks a lot, from my heart. :}
F.
Family can be even worse. Especially mine !!!
You truly give the best advice! Your voice is so relaxing too. Thanks for your genuine words x
I got so much out of this. Thanks Marie!!!💞
A persona is just as strong, and fades not unlike a honeymoon!
It's funny I only start acting like aspects of a fake friend when I see that pattern in a friend who started it first towards me, and they keep continuing it after I bring up how they make me feel. After that spotting I grow distant shortly afterwards -not because I don't care about their issues or lives, but I am well aware they don't acknowledge mine unless it's to their specs of approval and once I feel like I have to dance a round in a relationship to get approval I get sick of it.
How right you are. It is totally consuming. Spot on. Funny that you mentioned the narcissism part as this friend has boasted that she is vain and a brat....almost as if she was proud of it.
Thanks Marie, you speak the truth. Love your videos, they really help.
You are the best Marie! Thank you for this video! Please don't ever stop making videos :)
Great video. I have a "friend" who I hadn't seen in over a year because she is exactly like you described a toxic person would be. I thought maybe seeing her after her surgery and after so much time she would care more about what's going on with me but nope! Had another rude awakening she'll probably never change. She adds nothing to my life. I love her and care about her and pray for her but I can't see her anymore unless it's like in a group setting where other people have to listen to her besides me haha. I've thought about confronting her but I know if she changes its not going to be for me it's going to be because she is being convicted by God she needs to change because it will ruin many relationships in her life if she doesn't stop.
Very well stated. Thank you for your words which carry so much meaning. Cheers...
Having associates works better and being happy with your own company. Too many takers and emotional vampires drain your life away, you don't need that.
Granted some people are fortunate and have one or a couple real friends but this is the exception, not the rule, as most play the friend game for what's in it for them.
I have a “friend” who would betray me , like breaking a lease halfway, don’t answer my messages when I am in urgent need of her help, will talk about every single thing Of my life to her friends, bosses, coworkers and any random people she just met ! One more quality of this people is they will betray you for their own benefit, but they will blame someone else like their company or family members and behave like they are victims and not the culprits so that you don’t be mad at them for betraying you .. had enough of her, now she is just a hanging out friend category
You have helped me so much with my friends and gave me confidence to make new friends and courage to be independent your my inspiration😊 Thankyou so much xx
+Scarlett Morgan I really appreciate your kind words!
My mom always said "dont do to others what you dont want others to do to you" so Im trying to be nice to everyone. Sometimes when something's bothering me I wont talk about it unless it becomes annoying and that somehow attracts fake friends. The problem is everyone in my school is fake. In every single clique BEST FRIENDS talk shit about each other. I met these great girls lately and we have so much fun together and they're really sweet but I'm afraid I'm going to ruin everything only because I'm scared they'll act like my previous "friends" so I'm just looking for fake friends signs all day on yt
Solitary, think about what she brings to the table...nothing as far as I can tell. She says you are her good friend but she has done nothing that really proves it. You said yourself she is toxic. It's not like you have to dump her...but definitely put her on the back burner.
Marie Dubuque I'm not sure if you've done this as a video yet since I just started watching you, how do you handle a controlling person?
Hi Marie , im trying to figure out if my friends are fake friends. I have a friend who does a lot of the stuff that you mentioned in this video, but i still want her to be my friend and i dont know what to do anymore. What should i do?
+adijah mcreynolds Hey I can help you out! If she continues to d the stuff shes doing, I would slowly walk away from the friendship. Or confront her about it.
Thank you so much for these videos!!! You are very wise!
You give the best advice!
Thank you Marie, you're amazing!
I've been watching your videos for a while, they are very useful. Also, since I was intently listening to what you said, I never noticed how beautiful you are. (Just had to mention). Thank for sharing your knowledge.
Thanks! I definitely attract these friends every now and again. Like I talk a lot but about random things. Luckily, the new girl found a boyfriend instead of relying on me for everything, especially when I had just met her one month before. Inviting me to random events everyday bc she just wanted company. But never really hearing what I say. Got offended when I say I get overwhelmed with the invites. All you have to do is get away. They will find someone else to leech on. This also can be called Crazy but like always I'm being too nice and will not say that. Toxic ppl happen to alot of nice ppl because we think that the person will eventually become a rational being.
Ladyjane, yes, because you are so used to them in your life. But now that you are free from all the drama, you will get used to a new, more healthy normal.
Marie is the doctor of love and one smart cookie.
Thank you for making peace in me with this 🙏🏻
You are spot on!! I see this now.
Sometimes these people (they're called narcissists), they will actually listen to you, to your problems, BUT this is done w the view of making themselves feel superior. Get it? In their mind, it's proof that 1. they are great listeners, and 2. you have problems, they don't.
I had a classic narcissist like that for a friend, and once I began working on myself, there was no way to continue being "friends". Once I stopped playing second hand to her, she stopped communicating. I already knew this would happen, bc years ago, when I tried to tell her that her constant bragging and self absorbed behaviour were wrong, she told me we don't have to be friends, if I don't like something, we'll just stop talking, that's all. Yes, I would have kept her as a backburner friend but unfortunately, unless one is there to provide them w narcissistic supply, they're not interested.
You were wise to move on. You don't need her in your life.
That is what Narcissism really is through the shadows of demons