Why You Can't MAKE People Respect Your Boundaries.
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- Опубліковано 28 чер 2024
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If you feel that people walk all over your boundaries, you may misunderstand what a boundary actually IS. Are you making requests that are not honored, and then feeling resentful? This is common with people who experienced childhood trauma. In this video I offer a clear definition of what a boundary is, and whose job it is to honor that boundary.
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Spot on! An old saying among those who live on the water is, “all the water in the ocean cannot sink your boat, unless it gets on the inside”. The bluster and wind of others will remain. How you trim you trim your sails (along with your fear and confusion) is what makes the difference. Every weathered storm become a foundation of knowledge and confidence for the next one. Which surely come (as do boundary violations). Thank you for preparing us with the emotional foul weather gear.
Lovely! Thank you.
-Cara@TeamFairy
What wonderful imagery
Wow, this is brilliant 👏
Is it healthy boundary setting when I ask my older sister to stop criticizing and putting me down a the time?
I moved away. And eventually severed ties. It was such a relief to not have to constantly be saying no, explaining my adult needs, managing my anger. I realized there was nothing in it for me but exhausting drama and pain. I realized I can ask for what I need. They can choose to say no. And I can choose to walk away. Life is short. 💗
So true. My mother hasn't spoken to me for two and half years now because I told her to stop calling me paranoid and sensitive.
OMG, same thing with my narcissistic sister. I told her that I would no longer tolerate her attacking me verbally. I asked her to speak to me the way that I speak to her, with respect. I asked this of her in a calm and docile manner. Welp, apparently that was too much to ask. She hasn't spoken to me since, three years and counting. Smh.
Good riddance hah
Y’all don’t need toxic people in your life. I cut my entire family out and my life is better for it. I don’t miss the gossip & backstabbing. I’m happy now. It’s up to you, your choice.
I’m sorry to hear that 😢 been through the same with family. They can axe you forever in a flash! It’s like your completely worthless! It’s very abusive. Ultimately though they’ve done us a favour, it just leaves a scar❤
@@Christophfarrell yes thank you, it was heartbreaking for about two years but now I am OK, doing much better and wondering do I even want to fix things with people who have doubled down on their right to be horrible to me. Maybe I'll just carry on. They wrote me out. So why would I beg to be allowed back in.
I stopped & dropped. Stopped interacting. And dropped out of their life.
I love that you mention that you HAVE to get triggered in order to learn how to regulate ourselves when we do get triggered. This whole video is spot on.
Glad you thought so!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Boundaries are commonly misunderstood... think of them as your instruction manual for how you react to situations. They are not a rule book for other people to follow! The only person that is under the control of your own boundaries is YOU. Once you understand this, boundaries are easy. If someone oversteps your boundaries, your reaction is to walk away. You cannot tell them not to overstep but it is always within your power to walk away.
Yes. Just walk away.
Agreed that they are for YOU! I wouldn't go so far as to say they are *easy, lol. Your next step usually becomes plainer, and that may be considered easy. But I think it's important to note that pain may likely follow, and you may be tempted to go back to ppl-pleasing to end the discomfort. You may lose relationships. Even if those relationship are not healthy, losing them is hard. I am in the process right now of setting boundaries with my mother, whom I used to be enmeshed with. It's very, very painful. But I know it must be done. And I know that I can't change HER behavior. I can only choose what behavior I will and will no longer join in on and/or accept.
Finally someone admits this fact instead of blaming those who have been victimized by telling them often they need to practise maintaining their boundaries better or worse while refusing to believe them then ostracizing them while making false accusations to the person(s) who have vitimized instead. Finally someone admits the fact that trauma survivors can heal and have healed no matter how many people continue to reject them. Some of us trauma survivors are not making the choice to be alone and that is okay while we heal so long as we are taking responsibility for our own emotions and for our own assigned responsibilities too.
This is absolute truth. I stayed with a man that I tried to change and help for 22 years. It honestly is like trying to save someone from drowning... you are in danger of drowning with them or really getting messed up at the least. Thanks for sharing your excellent insights! God bless you!
Appreciate your support!
-Cara@TeamFairy
That is why I left my functioning alcoholic husband. I asked him to stop drinking and he told me he didn’t want to stop and if he did, he could stop it anytime. So I told him I can’t be around it or anyone that is addicted to substances. I filed for separation, and he quit for six months and took anti-anxiety meds during that time..Then he went back to drinking and he’s remarried. Now, we both are, and she drinks just as much as he does, so I guess that works for him. my husband now doesn’t even like to take Tylenol.
It is so frustrating and tricky. Being so trained to be considerate of others, always auto obliging and it is not reciprocated; it truly continues to send the msg everyone else is important but not you. Being asd with sensory issues basic consideration to turn the volume down because it is causing actual pain. It wouldn't inconvenience them at all, the loudness is a preference. This small thing if compromised will help to feel human. When it is spitefully and judged as controlling and dismissed it is dehumanising. These little things when they are everyday add up and is huge reason ppl with asd are stuck isolated as to interact is to have to auto forfeit boundaries as we are punished with ice out and being abandoned.
Sounds a lot like inner-child work. Helping that inner child grow up and feel secure and simply learn how to deal with relationships maturely.
Someone I dated kept saying over and over to me you’re screwed up, messed up and something is wrong with you. I had told him I am working with a therapist and doing my best to heal. I asked him for basics of courtesy and human understanding and I didn’t get it. He walked all over me.
It was very painful to hear him tell me :Your own mother didn’t want you and you have no friends…!
I had shared with him how when I came to the United States to be with my mother she threw me out twice.. and I have no relationship with her consequently. But even prior to that I had shared with him that my mother had abandoned me and my siblings as young children and when I came to the United States to reunite with her she wasn’t any better, she threw me out because she had issues and PTSD from the abuse she had suffered when she was with my father. She literally told me I looked like my father, talked like him and moved like him. She told me she can’t live with me in her house. When she threw me
I stayed with people who took pity on me and helped me. When I shared that with this person I expected him to understand me, be compassionate and respectful to my healing process. Mind you this is not just a person that’s a stranger, that is someone who swore he cares for me .., it was beyond heartbreaking to hear him use the most painful thing in my life to attack me with it. I was breaking up with him and I had him blocked. He showed up to my house where I rent uninvited to try to convince me to give him one more chance. When I said No this is over he then began telling me those hurtful things.This is not just not honoring and respecting me that is blatant abuse. I understand how others they are not obligated to be gentle and caring towards me , but the least someone who says that they care about me is to not purposely exploit my vulnerabilities, especially when I’m going to therapy and working on myself . It is cruel and malicious for someone to use my vulnerabilities to attack me, belittle me and demean me.
Glad you're here :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Albert Ellis called it, "shoulding all over other people." His mantra was, "I will not should all over other people, nor will I allow other people to should all over me." Other people are not obligated to do what you ask of them, but you are not obligated to maintain a relationship with those people, either, even if they are close biological family members. If they are hurting you, you are allowed to back away from them, even cut them off, if necessary, in spite of the familial obligations that society might try to pressure you into (i.e. "family first" or "you always make room for family" etc.) That is controlling yourself, not others, & being responsible for your own self-protection & happiness rather than blaming what is wrong with your life on everything else. I am convinced that a great deal of what is wrong with this world is the complete abdication of personal responsibility.
ive been going through a mental health crisis lately and got myself stuck in this loop of self pity and bitterness. i keep thinking if certain people around me would just change id be relieved of so much pain. in my search for help i found your channel and this video in particular was a huge wake up call. ive been listening to it every time i have those thoughts of "if they could just not do this" or "if they were more like this" and its helped ground me and keep me calm every single time (it happens often)! im looking forward to my healing journey and grateful that i found your channel, thank you for doing what you do!
I'm so glad that the content has given you some relief!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Yes. Thank you. Everytime I self-regulate and say to my Boyfriend "You know what? I gotta be alone right now because I am crazy and nothing good will come out of it" I feel so good afterward that I handled it on my own. And my boyfriend is relieved that the storm passed him ;D
Excellent!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Don't call yourself crazy 😟
This is very timely advice. My first husband is pressuring me for money again. He can't remember what the divorce settlement decreed; all that matters to him is what he believes. 16 years after the divorce, just seeing his name on my phone makes my stomach instantly hurt. At last, with regret towards our sons (who already understand), I've gone zero contact. He can't harass me every few years as he likes, anymore. Now to work on that spiked cortisol response.
We are behind you!
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you for all you do.
Nicknames are a trigger for me. My parents used to tell me how ugly I was & pick on my features. As an adult when ppl would call me something other than my name I would fuss 😂. I brush it off now & look at the character of the person. ❤
This is such a tough one to accept, Anna, but you’re right. I had a sibling and sister-in-law who couldn’t forgive me for my behaviour while struggling with BPD. Both of them were screwed up - my brother had the same parents and lived in the same house that I did, lol - so they were hardly in a position to be judging anyone else, but that didn’t stop them. My brother died before we had a chance to reconcile, but I doubt it would have happened had he lived.
I was also estranged from my adult niece for the same reason for many years despite being close to my sister, her mother. She has forgiven me, and our encounters at family events are cordial - but my attempts at reconciliation have been politely rebuffed. It’s very painful because we were very close when she was younger.
Although I’m supposed to accept the fact that she doesn’t want to revisit the past - and I do - both my sister and niece maintain that I’m too emotional and sensitive and need to tone that down. Acceptance seemingly goes just one way in this scenario. Sadly, sometimes there is no repairing things despite your heartfelt desire to do so, and it is her right to handle it this way. It hurts, but I accept her decision and boundaries.
We have to regulate ourselves. And we have to do the work ourselves to self regulate and not be triggered, emotional or worried all the time. We have to be grateful for being alive and appreciate what we have in our life. Young ones are not as experienced in life themselves. All we can do is be patient and try to be decent humans and keep doing decent work. With time some will understand us, but some may not. Not much point in beating ourselves over it. All we can do is keep trying our best everyday to not fall back and regress the progress we make in the long term.
Thank you for the helpful info. I always put up with garbage until I felt like I was drowning. Then I left. Now that I’m healing I’m trying to find that beautiful balance of communication, boundaries and patience. Most days I fear I am failing, honestly. I am going to start giving myself time outs. Thank you Anna!
So glad it was helpful :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
She expected me to pretend or ignore or shame me when I objected to her critical comments. As my boundaries grew, I told her I would not come back. It took a few times, but she did stop. Boundaries work!!!
That's a powerful message :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
i just want to stop waking up dry heaving with my heart racing and feeling exitential dread and not able to breathe and not knowing why I feel like this
I hope the video above it helpful💛
You could try and look at your diet. Maybe also visit a dr to see if you have any deficiencies (vitamins and minerals
Try this technique bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
-Cara@TeamFairy
My goodness sake, just when I've had an issue the next thing I know you've created a video about it. Was just thinking about a boundary-crossin' low-level jerk, turned on UA-cam and there you were with great answers.
Ok, I know I shouldn't entertain magical thinking but your help comes just at the right time and feels magical.
She is magical...our Crappy Childhood Fairy ♥️
But we need to be free to leave the abusive relationship. Without the abuser following us and or being physically dragged back into the home.
When I’m triggered I can’t talk or don’t want to as I feel the rage inside me ,if I talk it would be just garbled because at that point I’m already ugly crying because of anger. What I do is shutdown, totally shutdown and would be quiet or not contact anyone for days. I can be forgiving and will go back and forth until the same issue comes up then back to shutdown again but when I had enough I usually just stop communicating and that’s the end of it. It feels like I no longer have energy and words to explain how things they do is hurting me over and over again.
Perfect information for us with CPTSD, and for anyone else as well! Words to truly live by… God bless you fairy… and for honestly improving my day-to-day life.
You are so welcome!!!
-Cara@TeamFairy
This is perfect! It's exactly right. When I set a boundary, and someone else knows that and still steps over it, then it's up to me to not keep my own boundary with that person. I love the daily practice! Thank you, Anna!
Perfect!
-Cara@TeamFairy
When I hear that message I always think: Why even bother then ? Why should I go through all that trouble and conflict if at the end of the day I can't make people respect my boundaries anyway. Isn't it better to just not say anything. That way at least I won't give the boundary violator the satisfaction of knowing that he is just walking all over my boundaries.
Self regulation, very important skill to have. (Funny story: I was texting with a man a while ago, he knows about psychology, I told him something like 'stop being a jerk, I can't set boundaries' . . . It doesn't work like that. I know that now. )
I haven't been in contact with my mom for a long time she doesn't want to validate any of the very real experiences I went through living with her. My aunt her sister and her are in contact I asked my aunt not to bring up my mom cuz I don't really want to talk about her. Then she proceeded to let me know that my mom is talking to my dad and he's trying to get her to move in with him. I finally understand that everybody wants to be respected but doesn't give it in my family. I really only care about being in contact with my grandmother on my mom's side who is 84. It's unfortunate because the same aunt is a gatekeeper to my grandmother. But other than my nana I'm not taking crap from anybody else
I just had to tell someone today that I cannot continually never ending give advice to her. I don't have the time. She got upset and I don't care. I am not the free therapist here. Unless, she wants to pay me to coach her. This is not a friendship. It's free talk therapy. If she kept texting me after that, I was going to tell her I will block her. I don't owe anyone anything.
This is a very important puzzle piece for people who are just learning to have and maintain boundaries. Good Work.
How do you always know exactly what I need to hear!? Working towards acceptance of the people I love and healing myself!
You are doing great!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Oh, boundaries.... I've been dealing my whole life with my dad who "sets" a boundary, but only follows it when he wants to. This is especially true of, "I don't talk about politics." Politics can be triggering to me and I've mentioned many times over the YEARS that he's talking about politics and he just keeps going. I need to stop letting him railroad the conversation. I recently decided that when he starts to talk about politics on the phone, I'll just say, "Oh, I've got to go. Love you. Love to mom. Bye!" The one time a year we're together in person, I'll just get up and leave the room and if I can I'll go for a walk. That's the plan, Stan! (Stan not being a real person or relation.) 😉😁
Perfect for the holiday seasons. Thank you!
You bet!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I think it is perfectly acceptable to not date people who drink. Dating someone who drinks and then starting fights whenever that "triggers" them is starting a fight when you are in the mood for one. These are two completely different things.
I personally am not ready to be in a relationship (for time reasons) but if in the future I get into a relationship with someone I am really in to I have vowed to myself that I will break up and leave the very first time she lies or responds with inexplicable rage. I don't care what her reasons are, I care about me being treated with the same respect I would treat others. Without self love all you can have is dysfunctional relationships.
You've been a real help for me during this difficult and lonely time.
Thanks for being here :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
This was a good video and very helpful. Thanks a bunch!! ❤️
I hear what you say but the problem in workspace is that I won't go away and they won't go either too 🙁 I got deregulated and was a bit mad 😬 but still managed to say what I wanted but they keep blaming it on me. It was a false accusation but what if no one gives in and I'm neither because it's fault. I said I wouldn't say sorry again in my life like I always did, even if people hurted and assaulted me . "I've got my reaction" for me makes it sounds like I say it is indeed my problem and sure the other think so too and I won't do that.
Anna, how did you get so good at understanding CPTSD when you came from a background of such dysfunction! How did you heal so far as to even understand it better than those without it?! You amaze me. It is like a real miracle. The kind of miracle we need more of in this world.
Someone I love suffers greatly from CPTSD and I so wish they'd begin that journey of healing rather than usually blaming others for their discomfort. I don't know how to help them. My intuition says they could go from weak and hurting, to unusually wise and strong. You're a testament to that. You remind me that that miracle is possible.
Thank you. But what started you down the path of wanting to heal? Blaming others is so much easier at first.
You're in luck! I teach the path I followed (including the stories of how I made the discoveries along the way) in my courses. It's bundled up neatly with videos and worksheets, and for people who become members, a vibrant online community of fellow learners, and weekly group calls with me! Please visit my website at crappychildhoodfairy.com
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Unfortunately, telling someone else they should take the course would probably backfire. I think they have to find it on their own.
She not telling you Douglas!! She's giving you a choice to learn more 🤷♀️🤦♀️
@@gayecosmicchic9755 Thanks, Gaye. I misunderstood. I shall have to take Anna's class to learn more :)
Anna I love you!!! Setting boundries is so hard for us. I often just retreat before any conflict.
Hope this channel is helping :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
I’m following up your videos… I find them all so soothing
That's great to hear :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
GREAT, I have to listen to it many times.
This is so relevant right now on so many levels
Fantaaaaaastic Video! Thank you 🙏🏽
Thanks for listening! -Calista@TeamFairy
God bless you Fairy! love your content.
Doing their own tgis fine. It's preferred. It's that he sat and listened to my every trigger and then started going out of his way To Trigger me. Quite a difference there. I agree nobody has to change or he mindful of my triggers. But to purposely knowingly do it. That's not ok.
This is the information I’ve been looking for. Thank you
Me too
Our pleasure!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you Anna ❤️❗
During my wedding with my ex I was angry at everyone (You know the things when u have narc parents and unsupportive husband). I was angry at my close cousins who never came at my place to assist me get ready, whereas in past she have travelled at extend for her friend's wedding. I kind of ignored her in rest of wedding ceremony and she felt really bad because after that day she kept her distance from me. I realized my mistake of having such expectation is not good and after some time i apologies to her and she pretended as if nothing had happened. Now I wanted things to go back as it was earlier, but it was not possible and during this time i was not self-aware of my trauma and didn't leave a chance talk to her only to get disappointed. Now when I'm healing i realized it's her boundary that she wants to keep distance and i accept that.
I'm so sorry. It makes perfect sense to me that a wedding day would be tough for a traumatized person. Mine was too. The pain of people not being there in the past, overlayed on the present (which usually contains frayed connections that normally result in dysfunctional families). Just know, you're not alone. And sometimes with healing on your own side, and some time, relationships can bloom again.
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you Anna. Just want to Thank you for your channel and daily practice.
Thank you Anna!
Thank you too
-Cara@TeamFairy
Amazing advice! Thanks.
Thanks for watching!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Sharing with my friend now thank you!
Thanks so much!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Ma'am. Thank you for telling it how it could be! I thank God for you!
Glad it was helpful!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you!
If can be so hard and frustrating….but this was something I needed to hear.
So glad!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Very interesting and helpful
Great video.
Thanks for listening!
-Cara@TeamFairy
There is non negociable boundaries. That means if cross, you have to move away. Nothing to be ask. No need to justify yourself.
No way a person can break it as a mistake, no possibility to change.
To do it is the death of the relationship.
And some boundaries that can be negotiate.
Where you can discuss, and investigate were is a just compromise.
True
Hi Anna!!!!
I suffer ptsd. I garden love to
I been planting Flowers and bushes
For 7 years. After not being able to for years
Well a man bought the house next door
One day ,I went out. ,my flowers and some vines where cut down
Along my fence and on my side of fence
I swear I saw 7 years of work go down the tubes
The time and work
Why would he violate my space
I don't bother nobody
I don’t understand at all why my kids who over and over have said I was and I am a good mom decided that they need to set boundaries with me. Helllllp
What about people you cannot avoid like neighbors and co workers
Stop and drop. I like that. But may I suggest to revise that to be "Stop, drop and write.
yes, very good :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
When my now adult daughter was a teenager, she told me that it triggered her when I told her no. So, as long as I never said, “No,” to her, everything would be fine. Problem solved. Umm, no, sweetie. That’s not how boundaries work.
I also had a boyfriend who decided I was “crossing his boundaries” by being uncomfortable with him keeping in close contact with the girl he hooked up with before we got together. Turns out…he was cheating on me with her. Surprise! 🙄
I wish I had seen this a few days ago.
❤️
So is it safe to categorize the triggers ? Realize it’s not something being done to you. Brush it off. What about when things are done to you decide if you should leave the relationship after the boundaries request.
And if you have children who don’t respect your boundaries and when you say no and they still don’t respect it what will do walk away? It is easier for anybody to say if someone disrespects me I will walk away but it is not the same thing with children
What if the boundary violations are illegal?
This really confuses me. I understand but I also don’t know where anyone would draw the line because pushing someone’s buttons is crossing boundaries but they’re also just being themselves. This video makes it hard to know who shouldn’t be around me. I’m confused now.
I don't think it's a black and white as Anna is espousing. While yes, I fully agree you cannot control what someone does and shouldn't want to to have a sense of boundaries, respect, safety, what have you, being met: I do think it's ok to ask for those boundaries and changes. Much of the changes in laws, unfair dynamics, practices etc happen due to persistently demanding a basic improvement of quality of life. and despite the contexts i just used being more political, the social and political help shape mental health praxis. Certainly, I know of many interpersonal relationships that have improved by the same imploring of fair emotional needs.
In other words, it depends on a lot of things and unless you're the one going through who really knows. Sometimes it's this approach of separation and acceptance. Sometimes it should be fight like hell, you shouldn't be denied/have ur oppressors be uncomfortable.
Other times it's a mix of the two
To be honest I'm glad I didn't stop and drop for the guy breadcrumbing me. I'm ok with that.
Yes. We cannot control others in somehow magically "making" them respect our boundaries. Important distinction from having boundaries and enforcing them for oneself vs relying on others to somehow respecting our boundaries.
2:00 - BIG No. More nuance is needed here. ASAP. Pushback: I don't have a right to demand that another human being not rape me? Really? My guess: You mean that I cannot control anyone's decisions, aside from having criminals arrested and taken away, for example. What sense does it make to say we have the "right to ask" for what we think is helpful, but trying to force other people to manage our trauma reactions isn't fair? Figuring out one's boundaries is in one sense a "control" over and against others who might transgress our limits. Our self-care. That is good and healthy and mature. No, everyone else does NOT have the right to NOT be controlled by us. Unless you are making a philosophical point. EX: The rapist has the "right" to not be controlled by a vulnerable person, so they can make up their mind whether or not they will carry out that rape. IMO, they do not have "the right to be themselves" in the sense of, "Well, I am a rapist, so just leave me be. I'm being myself." See how this unravels mighty quick?
So far, this specific guidance is imprecise, lacking thorough attention to important detail, and even dangerous.
No...? Cokehead neighbour pulled too many stunts, then eventually tried hitting me. That dysregulated me to where I pummeled in return, and now he avoids me like the plague.
I must not be the ideal person for this video. No idea how to stop people doing definitively inappropriate things (e.g. threatening to punch me because they want to do their own thing (my employee to me, management with no power). I never get upset in the moment so I can’t set boundaries/respond. Also with my new job, no idea how to keep boundaries to stop actually inappropriate behavior. That needs to be done, not self regulated inside me. Was hoping this video would help but instead I just feel powerless and like I just need to be okay with people threatening me and trying to take my phone from me.
I tried daily practice several times but I feel worse after it. Not better and dont know why.
Please consider coming to the free Zoom calls I lead twice a month. I teach the fine points through Q&A.
Do people have the right to continue with nasty behaviors in my personal space?
Example on my body or in my home
This is so confusing
Are you saying that expecting ppl to respect your boundaries if they wanna stick around is a form of controlling? Oh hell naw--strongly disagree.
I'm going to respectfully say that I have a *HUGE* problem with that statement and then I'm going to ask you a question... What happens if you're 5 years old, you have a *Bipolar Mother* and also a *Pedophile Father* who both have anger or horniness issues and decide to take it out on you? At 5 years old, you don't have the *ABILITY* to make the decisions that you absolutely *NEED* to make. Are you really going to tell me: It was really *MY FAULT* that all this was happening to me? That I should just go into a corner and say "Yeah I should have just *LEFT* them *ALONE* and *NOT* told them to *STOP HURTING* me?" If that is the *LESSON* that I'm supposed to be learning as an almost totally *FERAL CHILD* who has had to, for most of my life, *RAISE* herself to at least 46 years old now, well I guess I need to go and learn more about *HUMANITY* or some way to deal with life because I think that I've gotten the *WRONG* message!!! I guess that it's time to go back to teaching myself then....
~ JonseyG 👲💖
Why do I feel like Peter Pan and you're tinkerbell when I watch your videos?!!?!? do not tell me the answer lol, I feel exposed
The two most annoying kinds of people in the world:
A) A person who can't respect other's personal space
I absolutely hate this kinds of people who always keeps on saying " Why are you staying in the corner join us tell us about yourself". I absolutely hate those kinds of people that think that everyone should be jolly & expersive in this world. Not everyone likes company if you don't understand what the other person is feeling might as well leave that person in peace & mind your own business. The reason why so many people become violent & evil is because they just wanna be left alone & everyone in society keeps on dragging them.
B) Chit Chatters
This is my point of view on chit chat. It is BORING, AWKWARD, ANNOYING, & TIRING.
I find people working on a public transport most guilty of this especially taxi driver, barbers, tourist guides, teachers, & many people in their old age that are just TOO BORED IN THEIR LIFE THAT THEY HAVE TO CONCERN THEIRSELVES ON OTHER PEOPLE SERIOUSLY IF YOU ARE A PERSON RETIRED IN YOUR OLD AGE JUST STAY HOME ENTERTAIN YOURSELVES TALK TO YOURSELVES & LEAVE INTROVERTS ALONE!