Its kind of terrifying that one of the biggest theories for narcissistic personality disorder is that the child went through something so horrible that they killed their inner self in order to protect themselves, which later makes them into the very monster they were so desperately trying to get away from
This is mostly theory, as the field of neuroscience has studied and proven that narcissism has genetic influences and that some people are born with a predisposition toward narcissism owing to abnormal brain structure. It's also been shown that narcissists, even as children, do not process adverse childhood experiences in the same way as normal children because they lack the appropriate emotional response reactions in the brain. It's also the case that a large percentage of narcissists had normal childhoods with no emotional abuse. The idea that children went through something so horrific that they killed off their inner self is a way of sensationalizing the topic of narcissism, even though a lot of what mainstream psychology is putting out is incomplete and often downright inaccurate.
@@KimSaeed That's very insightful. Personality traits are generally predisposed. Since NPD is classified as a personality disorder, it also makes sense that studies would have shown genetic factors contributing to the development of the disorder.
It's equal parts sweet as it is sad that plenty of the comments on these narcissist videos specifically are simply people venting their experiences. I myself have a mother who is a narcissist, and it's always a comfort to see how so many people all have very similar experiences with their parents; to all of you who are currently in an environment with a particularly irascible and/or irritating narcissist, I hold major respect-stay strong y'all.
@@lantern9817 as someone who left a very brief venting comment myself with a similar experience, some part of me wants to still hold onto the hope she can change, but now I’m going off to college, another huge part of me knows she’ll only ever change if she herself does more than acknowledging her behavior and acts on repairing things. Stay strong
@@rivervan it's not healthy to hold on to a kind hope that never existed in the first place. What you need to do now is accept that she's a lost cause and work your way up in severing any and all ties with her permanently.
I have some mental disorders, and as someone with something like that, I have to say this: Having a mental disorder may SHAPE the way you behave, but it’s not forcing it. You still have control, and you can change if you put the effort into it.
This video is based on the opinions and insights of professionals as well as individuals diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). We acknowledge that experiences and perspectives may vary. If you have a different opinion, we welcome you to share it in the comments. However, we kindly ask that you keep the comment section civil and respectful. Thank you for watching and contributing to the discussion.
It's heartbreaking to know people can go through this. Before people see the rest of the comments and decide if they really want to watch the video, i'd recommend actually watching the video before making judgments. Change is possible, no matter how hard it is
Only if you believe that you can learn empathy and not have it because of your nature. But will live in a crazy world that believes in learned helplessness so sure, toxic people can change and become social and respect the victims and their problems.
@@user-li3du4vo7v Toxic people prfer to know everything better, so believe what you want, but I don´t think that the ones who don´t see your worth, will change. They will win nothing with it, so why change?
If they have no empathy, they're just a psychopath. Which is also a mental disorder. Maybe they'd wanna change cause they feel it'd get them in trouble or something. @@escherichanja8522
A narcissist changes for good when they genuinely desire to do so for the sake of others as well when they take responsibility for their negative actions with actual positive actions, not just talk. Remember, if you are suffering from this inner battle like I have, don't let people tell you can't change for the better, a person becomes good not when people acknowledge them as such but when you've genuinely done your best to change for the better of others.
There's something really liberating about finally living out the dream of defying what everyone thinks of me and loving myself for it. You think I can't change?! Good thing I'm as stubborn as they come, finding happiness and wholeness is not a battle I'm giving up on.
There is also a video on UA-cam, called "Narcissists are Human" I recommend people watch that as well, as it talks about the personality disorder and how in an in-depth way that dispels the mysticism of the disorder that has been going on through the internet.
I experienced and observed myself exhibits narcissistic traits when I was 20. My ex girlfriend back then told me that I'm very toxic and needed help, and it made me realize how I act back then hurt her big time. Only then when I had my dog, it started. I learned how to be patient with animals first. I sometimes see myself being irritated to people that did bad on video games and think that I could do better than this guy, but I guess it'd always get heated when your team starts to lose. I'm not good at the games I play too so I guess backseating wouldn't do any better.
The only way to deal with a narcissist is to have a social 'hedge' around them. Everyone who is related to them, works with them, is neighbors to them needs to recognize that they are narcissists and everyone does not let them do their social parasitic moves. That is almost impossible, but the only way.
How does one even go about this? What if they really have nobody around them because of their personality? I care so much about his opinion but he just hates me and has threatened a smear campaign against me in the past…
@@PommeLavande Don't waste your time or life with them. They'll drag you down with them regardless of the cost. They won't change, they can't change, and they don't care! It's not your job or responsibility to try to change anyone.
I’ve had to deal with a narcissistic brother my entire life (27 years) only just recently started treating him like a stranger and he’s become nobody to me. Honestly it’s the best decision I ever made. No longer has a grip on me. He also shows no desire to want to change things with me because I have nothing to offer him. Remember folks, a relationship with a narcissist is purely transactional, and only one way.
@@OranTheHerald Omori is an RPG Maker psychological horror/adventure game, exploring the themes of PTSD, depression, self-harm and self-sabotage. It initially plays a role of light-hearted fantasy-adventure game, only giving subtle hints to the true, dark nature of the story, slowly revealing struggles the main character has to go through due to shared traumatizing experience
My dad is a narcissist. He abused my mom and she divorced him for not just that, but for also cheating on her a lot. He then proceeds to act like mom was "overreacting" about his cheating. Like wth. He also cut ties with us recently and said he "needed some space" as if HE was the one suffering after taking most of the money and then wasting half of it on s*x workers. It sucks how he just doesn't realize how much he hurt all of us.
As somebody who has a narcissistic mother, I 100% feel you on that last part. They can say/do the most messed up, unreservedly cruel things and then refuse to acknowledge the emotional impact it has on people around them-sometimes even playing the victim if they believe it'll garner them sympathy.
@@Psych2go yeah it was. My mom moved out of state and is finally living her life without abusive family members so she is so happy. It took her a while to cope but she's back and better than I ever have seen her, honestly. I was traumatized during the whole ordeal but I am slowly figuring things out and I will be going to therapy soon
@@starShadowe it’s most likely them not acknowledging that they are a narcissist, or acknowledge but it’s without repairing actions. I have a friend who goes to therapy heavily for their NPD and a mom who’s untreated and so deep in denial I think the chance of change is slim. I’m so sorry you’ve had those experiences. Ultimately it’s up to those people to get help, no one can be forced to get help before they themselves want to.
@rivervan I agree, unfortunately one of those life lessons I had to learn the hard way but I'm with someone who understands me better now AND cares. Proof even if you've met incredible rotten individuals , whether theyre narcisssists , rapists, abusers, or pedophiles, don't let anyone change your heart or break you because, in the end they're always the broken ones..
as someone with (self diagnosed) NPD this video is absolutely great at encapsulating how I feel :) my 'persona' is this, stupid, silly, careless, ignorant, slow 14 year old. It's made a lot of things easier for me bc if im faced with a problem, someone will solve it for me, or i can just literally make myself forget the problem right in front of me instead focusing on distractions to keep me feeling not-bad I still have a lot to better myself with irl that i'mmmmm honestly not willing to change myself for yet. But i guess im trying, reluctantly .. it mostly involves growing out of this dependant 14 year old mentality ive been stuck with and preparing myself for college and adulthood in general but i just, i dont know, i dont have a lot of motivation to, college seems scary, independence is hard, and ive never been happier when im ignorant of my own downfall in life and how it effects others im not sure if im willing to let this persona go. its made everything so much easier and less scarier. but it wont work forever, and i dont want to believe that. i dont know how to convince myself to just grow up. how to grow up. i can start taking care of myself and others better, sometimes i try to, sometimes i succeed, but i just never do anyway. and knowing i actually CANT let go of that persona might or might not be eye opening lmfao i guess im fucked unless i get therapy somehow
Whether or not a narcissist can change, i feel the reason for a lot of us to watch this is we are desperately trying to change them. This hope often end up fueling their narcissism. We need to decide for ourselves what we want to do about this seemingly Catch 22 situation.
I've grew up around and lived with an abusive malignant narcissist step father for more than half my life. Narcissists only really change if their ego demands it, which is unlikely. Expecting them to eat humble pie is a different matter. Our materialistic culture encourages you to be a narcissist or have antisocial behaviors.
The ableism in these comments is insane, people with NPD are human, a few bad cookies doesn’t mean every single cookie is horrible, and people for the love of god people have to stop using “narcissist” as a substitute for “abuser” just because someone in your life was self centered and abusive doesn’t mean they were a narcissist.
THANK YOU! NPD is a DISORDER, and affects firstly the person with the disorder. Tbf that's quite narcissistic to think the first victim of the disorder are the people around the person with NPD. Like you're not the center of the world...
One last comment I would like to make, I am disappointed, but understanding, that people in the comments have vile reaction to people with NPD, and I understand. I was hurt by someone with that condition too, but instead of stewing on that resentment, I choose to find ways to how can we treat them. Yeah, it’s not easy, nothing is, but the fact that there are self-aware narcissists and that narcissist also face discrimination of their disorder, motivates me to help these people out. Yes, be firm with them, but don’t just demonize. That doesn’t solve the issue, if at all, people with autism will at times be accused of having NPD because we (autistic people) tend to lack empathy, and with the NPD scare, this will create harm for us in the autistic community. I know many people are going to try to tell me “you are wasting your time” “you are a fool” or “they never change” if this is the case, Lee Hammock would not exist.
Also, demonizing and otherizing people is what creates prejudice causing harm, to not only NPD people, but people with disabilities that others mistake as NPD.
As another person with autism, I strongly question you stating that we lack empathy. Some on the spectrum may have trouble expressing the emotions that they feel outwardly, but it’s actually quite rare for any of us to have true apathy. There’s hardly any shortage of empathy whether an autistic person shows it or not. I certainly don’t have that struggle myself. Today alone was a rollercoaster; I went from smiling and being excited a lot because I got to go to a baseball game, to needing to get off of Facebook because it kept showing me sad things that made me sob a lot.
I am consistently amazed and grateful for this channel. The content is priceless, and the delivery is flawless. I'm gobsmacked by the timing of many of these releases. Some days, it's like you have an insight into my life. LOL This video appearing in my mailbox within 8 hours of receiving an "I choose to love you from afar" video clip from my ex, is the latest example. This is the first communication I've had since I ejected him from my life, and I was stunned. I believe he's trying to get the last word in, and gems like this help me navigate the minefield. I can't begin to express my appreciation for all you do. I am immensely grateful for the lovely brave people who have been commenting, and posting their experiences. There is such comfort in knowing that I am not alone. Thank you.
Happy to hear that you found validation and comfort in videos like this during such strange timing. You're definitely not alone as sometimes, we just need to hear what we need to go forward strongly.
I love how even though Eric Cartman from South Park is a Narcissist himself, he can acknowledge that he can change if he gets help, which is exactly what narcissists need if they want to change their ways.
I believe I am a narcissist. In all this, you reference the narcissist’s desire to change in order to change but I tell you, without many of my friends’ and loved ones’ support and honesty with me, I wouldn’t have grasped that change for me means-day by day, little by little, slowly breaking down negative core beliefs that had hardened years ago. Doing so often reveals a very raw part of me that I have to face, and I’m trying, but there’s no way in hell I could do this alone, as much as I want to (due to shame), and I’m not really sure anyone could. Yes, ultimately, EVERYONE has to make the choice to change… but narcissists need a lot of help:( I believe most, if not all, narcissists feel a deep shame of who they are and fear loneliness and abandonment more than most things. But hey, I could just be projecting (:
Yup...thanks for not demonising and stigmatising this disorder...its a mental health condition like any other else. Im a person with narc traits and maybe npd (not diagnosed but can relate to it a lot)...it takes a lot of self acceptance, self love and self compassion to change. Addresing past traumas, working on our emotional regulation, willingnes to change for the good and to work on ourselves for the sake of it. Since we work on ourselves we also stop hurting other people around us and break patterns and improve relationships...it took me hitting on the rock bottom (i lost my dad) to be self aware and honest with myself. There are plenty of examples like spirit narc and people on subreddit npd who have identified their toxic behaviours and are willing to change...its not like that we cant be self aware but if somebody else is gonna tell the narc to change its most likely that he/she is not gonna change...it has to come from their side, from their within. Not all narcs are abusers. Some are just deeply insecure and broken and need safety, love, care and attention and need to understand that they can trust their loved ones and they are not gonna hurt them as they were in their childhood. Great video!
In my experience dealing with my mother, the fake toxic friend from my young adulthood, and the woman who used to bully me as a kid who never developed past that mentality, no. Narcissists are unable to feel empathy for others. They see people as a means to an end, not as human beings with value. It takes therapeutic intervention for them to even change in the least amount. They can’t change on their own, because you need empathy and self awareness for that. You have to take responsibility for past actions, something a narcissist cannot do.
Not only they don't change and can't be taught empathy, they actually worsen as they age. This video is trying to sell us a fairytale. It can give some viewers a false hope, so they decide to give the narcissist a second chance over and over, again and again, and eventually get stuck in a vicious cycle for the rest of their life. A fairytale world is actually different from reality.
The narcissist Im dealing with is too down bad to be fixed. She's 60 years old and has been a narcissist for most of her life and will actually put people in near death experiences if they call her out....
So interesting video. I discovered through therapy that I had narcissistic injuries (and as such traits). As I try to self-improve self and changes, I am sometimes missing my ‘old-self’ and feel I was more happy at the time. So I can relate!
I have a family member who's quite narcissistic. When I was younger, I remember my mother taking a year break from contacting them because they were acting in this manner. This family member did change for a while, but did slip back until their controlling ways again and since my mother passed away, they got worse with how they treated other family members, particularly the males in our family. I do believe they can change, but it's up to them, not me or the rest of my family.
Sometimes the absence of hope when it comes to narcissism feels so overwhelming, because we're starting to forget that they're human.. But if we always put that in mind, we might get lost in either the confusion of how human nature is capable of doing something like this, or drown in the nihilistic belief that human nature is just pure evil, or cling to the shaky but healing hope that this IS human, but not the definition of humaness. I'll choose the third for as long as I can y'all
When I feel my past trauma caused by gaslighting, isolating, devaluing I feel like I wanna revenge, I've been diagnosed with Autism, OCD as well as Schizophrenia also having a history of trauma and I believe those who bullied me due to stigma about my lack of religious beliefs by unconsented touching, damaging my property, making hate claims about my existence, religious manipulation and stealing should get what they deserve but when I explore about Sadism, Psychopathy and Narcissism as illnesses, it's kinda hard for me to curse in the way I want.
I hate how NPD people are always a "they". Everyone talks about them as if they are some kind of monsters. People with NPD are human. I don't have NPD (not diagnosed), but I have narcissistic traits for sure. The comments in here make me uneasy. Narcissistic people can be terrible people, but they are people first. I'm sorry you've been treated badly, but maybe you have always been treated badly by them because the only one you recognise as narcissistic people are the people who treat you badly. Some narcissistic people understand something is wrong with them and don't "act" narcissistic, especially if they have another mental condition (which is likely to happen with comorbidity) like depression or BPD. People can manage their narcissistic traits, or hide them, to be able to have a good social life, once they understand they have narcissistic traits. So it's totally possible you interact with people with NPD in a daily basis. Some estimations say about 5% of the population have NPD. I don't think all of that population always treat others badly. It's so ableist, and narcissistic to think YOU are the first victim of NPD. No, the first victim of NPD is the person with NPD. The world doesn't revolve around you. I'm sorry you had to suffer, I truly am, but you suffered because of a shitty person first, not because of a person with NPD.
I have NPD. I've been happily married for 13 years so far and the word people most often use to describe me is that I'm a sweetheart. As long as someone is kind to me, I reciprocate.
@@PommeLavande Making that assumption about someone with a personality disorder is the same thing as making that assumption about some rando who walks by. There's a difference between having a personality disorder and being abusive.
As someone who’s dealt with both a narcissistic family member and seeing narcissistic traits in myself. I believe that narcissists can change if it’s seen early enough. As said: narcissism runs in DNA and I got my traits from my grandma. Looking back, I realised that I was hurting others in a way that she hurt me. And I didn’t want to become like her. Slowly I started reaching out and it was hard. But seeing the people I hurt being sad because of me was unbearable. And I think I’ve changed somewhat.
I'm a self-aware narcissist and I help a few others. We can change, our true selves are fragmented and our compasses miswired but they're still there. And of course recoverable and repairable. We don't have empathy because we have none for ourselves either. Empathy can be learned. Toddlers learn it. Having to cope at such an early age interrupts learning empathy the usual way, and again, shielding yourself from your own feelings shields yourself from the feelings of others as well. I wouldn't say I was self-aware when I first learned I have NPD, I certainly didn't take that understanding in a rational direction at first. It's kind of a pattern haha. But that was simply the beginning. The channels HealNPD and Borderliner Notes have much more in-depth descriptions of pathological narcissism, the latter featuring the treaters who pioneered our best techniques to treat personality disorders, NPD included.
It would depend on why the person is a narcissist, if you ask me. If it's due to genetic factors, "no, this person cannot ever not be a narcissist". It's literally just an issue of how their brains are wired from the start in that case. Keep in mind, I am saying this as someone with an Autism diagnosis here. That would be like asking some who has autism to somehow "be cured of their developmental disorder" with just therapy. Sure, you can have therapy of a thousand types for them; they can mask, fake being "normal", but they'll never be able to Neurotypical. They will always still have some traits (both negative and/or positive) of the Autism because it's literally just part of them. It's literally an issue of their brains being wired towards a particular neuro-type from the start. Unfortunately, if it's due to genetics, I doubt you'll ever successfully get the person that's a narcissist to not be a narcissist because it's literally an issue of brain wiring that's down their genetic coding. It's like having a Mac programming based rather than a PC's, if you try to program a MacBook with PC updates, it's just not going to work. You can try downloading it a billion times bit unless you have a version that can work with a Mac instead, that PC update is just going to cause problems at best. If it's due to upbringing instead, the answer would be a solid "maybe". Yes, they would have to want to change first. This is because rather than having this as the person's basic genetic and/or neurological programming, it would be more like being a sociopath. Sociopaths do have the ability to change for the better or worse since sociopathy is basically becoming numb to the feelings of others doe to abuse and/or neglect. Basically summed up in one sentence, if others don't give a damn about you, why should you give a damn about others? This happens because certain behaviors helped them in an advantageous manner. You can unlearn past-learned behaviors if you can replace them with other behaviors that still works with the individual's needs and/or wants. It's more like replacing an outdated program with an updated one that still 90+% of the same job, do it enough times and you'll have a better working computer program.
I agree with the Autistic portion of what you said being someone with Autism myself. However I will have to disagree with the Sociopath analogy that you used. If people become numb to the feelings of abuse and neglect, that is a symptom of depression, which can be treated by delving deep into the specifics of what caused those feelings in their lives to begin with. A sociopath however is someone who is born without certain positive emotions such as empathy, guilt, or remorse. Sociopaths can change for the better if they really want to, but if they are consistently content with how they are born without those feelings to begin with and seek out a catharsis that they prefer over following society's rules, they ARE going to keep causing problems to other people regardless of how much therapy, medications, or other forms of treatment they go through.
I'm not diagnosed but I feel I have developed depression, debilitating anxiety, insecurity , CPTSD due to neglect, forced growth and everyone I love purposely hurting me at some stage. I remember these feelings starting at 5. Not sure if I'd feel the same way today, at 30 had I experienced growing around mature, secure adults.
I had three grandiose narcissists in my life as far. They never change even if they go to therapy for years. They only learn how to pretend better. In my opinion is impossible to chage bc when your brain develops in your childhood your personality is establishing as you become an adult. Maybe if it was a way to recognise which child has the potential to develop NPD and intervene then, maybe therapy can help them.
I clicked on this video because its her birthday... I want her to change for herself and others... She really hurt me... I hope she's doing well and she will get better..
From my personal experience I can say only this. I'm not buying into the fairytale that a narcissist can ever change for better or that they can somehow learn empathy. This video can be harmful for some people who after watching it might believe that there's still a hope that the narcissist they are dealing with in their life can change and can start to treat them kindly. And so they might give them a second chance again and again and get stuck in this vicious cycle for the rest of their life and never get free. Just because some respected psychiatrist said that there is a possibility. I grew up with a grandiose narcissistic controlling father. He's in his late sixtieth now. For many years I've been hoping that he can become a little less rough and a little kinder. I've been watching him over the years. But his narcissism, his grandiosity, arrogance, lack of empathy, entitlement and abuse of others are only getting so much worse with age. I wish I had been a realist in the past and stopped giving him second chances. There would be much less suffering and negativity in my life. To whoever is dealing with an abusive person in their life, I'm wishing you freedom and true happiness.
I'm a Schizophrenic and I was told this many many times but I ask you and them one question, Can you change your mind to see something which doesn't exist (unless you're in a lucid dream)? In the similar way, we also can't stop psychotic hallucinations. I don't criticize this illness because I don't know how it feels.
My stepmom is a narcissist. She always wants to be right. She thinks she knows everything and thinks she’s always perfect. I’ve spoken up if her words and actions hurt me, but it was always how if I would just stop being mean to her and stop bitching, then we would get along. She won’t get help. I have complex PTSD. I’m working really hard on dealing with my complex PTSD symptoms with music therapy. I don’t know if my stepmom will change or not. I mean, I won’t give up hope. I just want her to get help with her problems. I’m not the only one who got it from her in that environment. All I do know is, I’m working hard on a lot of things due to CPTSD. I need to be more patient with myself.
@@xtalpax902 I live with my biological mom now. My dad still lives with her as well as her kids. I also had an online friend who I think “might” be a narcissist. He was a dick and didn’t have very good empathy either.
@@siennaprice1351 as someone who has a narcissistic mother, I do empathize and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My mom’s incredibly similar to your mom in her behavioral patterns. As I’m going to college in a few months, this last year has truly shown me that narcissists will only get help if they themselves WANT help, doing more than just acknowledging their issues-they’re willing to repair relationships around them for their own sake. It’s a sad reality :(; stay strong.
To truly change, they'd have to understand and accept that the way they've acted is abusive towards other people and they've been horrible people, I don't think most NPD's ego can handle admitting and accepting something like that, it's much easier for them to simply delude themselves their action were justified for bullshit invented reason than face the painful and shameful truth.
I had to be blunt with a narcissist girl i really love alot. She did the typical npd stuff. She ended up just blocking me and said "no you" "blocked" when i told her i was tired of her not appreciating me and walking all over me and to get help for her addiction and her narcissism
I think they can change if they hit rock bottom and then there are only two options: either choosing to change (with long term therapy&commitment) or behaving exactly the same ways. However I do believe it is possible to change if they truly want it. If they realise it‘s for their own sanity. As if they continue that way, it‘s a recipe for self destruction and there are people that can see through the masks. So why hide? Taking Lee Hammock as a role model and motivation is fantastic. ❤
@@ChocolateMilk.. sad. Then my hope is completely destroyed now. However, this was my assumption if npd is strong. If not, awareness can be possible at least.
@@ChocolateMilk.. sad but true. Although you can decide to completely change the hardware. In my eyes. As NPD harms yourself and others and it always ends up the same way.
Hi, psych2go When I see the video it looks like a cartoon but it as a lot of meaning I see your videos when I was uncomfortable So thank you for making this type of videos ❤❤❤❤
I believe my younger brother and my dad are narcisist. Me and my brother dont speak ourselves anymore since a 2 years. Recently, I have started to think about he to be a narcisist. He dont understand my depression and blames me.I hope he doesn't go through the things I went through. i would like to see him better, but he never think about how he affects people around himself. He is a doctor. But he says psycchology and psychatry are not science... :/ Too smart but too dumb. about my father, i given up about him already.
1:11 "With proper therapy and a genuine desire to improve their relationships" Okay so... My mother CAN'T change... She will never get therapy nor will she ever want to change
I as well have a narcissist mother, who does actually go to therapy weekly. The thing is, even then, she still hasn't gotten any better; sometimes it's really hard to still hold out hope for the fact that anybody with narcissism could ever change. My reverence to you for having a narcissistic parent; it ain't easy. Stay strong.
My ex partner is a narcissist... I started therapy because of him... He does not want to go... We are both broken inside but I am the only one willing to change...and that makes me sad because I really cared about him... It could have worked out between us if he was not like this 😞😞
Let him go emotionally and keep the therapy going. You are going to have to dig deep and make your decisions with your head & not your heart. Your well-being & soul is at stake here. You will make it.
My mother is a narcissist (and bipolar) as well; my respect goes out to you for being able to stay sane while being raised by a parent that has narcissism. It's tough, that's for sure.
Ofc they can change! But don't wait around for them to. It's not worth it and some may even push the "I can change!" and temporarily act less abusive just to roap you back in.
My mum is a narcissist, as much as I pray that she’ll change, I doubt… she’s already sixty and I’m in my late twenties but she still controls me and treats me like a child. I just recently started therapy to cope
Sorry to hear that.. having a parent who is a narcissist can be very draining and abusive. Do you mind sharing some of the behaviours that you notice in her?
@@Psych2go Thanks for your reply, I'd love to share. So as mentioned, she is very controlling, basically wants to control everything in my life and treats me like a child. She also instills guilt in me by saying that she doesn't get a divorce because she doesn't want me to be bullied, but at the same time, she doesn't love my dad and uses me as a weapon in her broken marriage. Its suffocating being around my parents because they constantly drain me emotionally by using me to fill up their emotional voids.
I love how they clarified that having narcissistic traits does not equate to actually being NPD, cause nowadays people are just quick to label certain traits with some unhealthy disorders. Which could also affect how they view themselves. We're all imperfect and deserving of room to grow, but it's disheartening when people define you with those flaws as if that's all there is to you. Just my two cents.
I feel like I used to be a narcissist back when I was younger, I was really toxic to my friends and I would just cause problems because I thought it was funny, I was actually upset because I was bullied everyday in school and had huge mental health issues. I would hide my insecurities and take my frustrations out on other people and manipulate other people. I stopped doing all that once I realized I was being a huge ass, and didn’t want to harm others just because I was suffering. Nowadays most of my insecurities are gone and I’m a lot happier, I also take medication for some of my illnesses.
Thank you for this knowledge, I acknowledge I have an "ego" in myself. I hope to breakthrough this behaviour in my life and in my soul forever and ever, and to diminish this "term" from the book of my life forever. I seal this in the name of Jesus Christ. Let my mind, my heart, my body and my soul shall be purified and shall be healed. Amen❤
I was narcissistic. But after reading the comments, i feel like evem after years of trying to change, i will never be ‘normal’ even if ive tried my best. But i understand. I’ve probably done horrible things. Its making me wonder if i should just take me out of this world, instead of stay in it, and see myself like this. When will people understand words hurt
My father is a narcissist.. so um I’m watching this video and I feel that if narcissistic people try really hard they can try but that would only be if they care about others
My parents pretend they are better people now but I'm sure they are pissed I won't take the bait anymore. I learned to not trust words if they don't align with actions.
I know someone who is a narcissist, they also have been diagnosed with schizophrenia and bpd, the keep sayingt hey want to change but is doing little to do so, its been stressfull and tiring, been dealing with it for over 5 years now
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #1 НАЧАЛО ПУТЕШЕСТВИЯ [Новый сезон] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/380Q7gLWGvk/mqdefault.jpg)
As a wise man once said:
"Anyone can change, but not everyone wants to."
As long as someone is willing to change, they can change if they know how.
Its kind of terrifying that one of the biggest theories for narcissistic personality disorder is that the child went through something so horrible that they killed their inner self in order to protect themselves, which later makes them into the very monster they were so desperately trying to get away from
This is a very tragic theory but it makes a lot of sense :(
So just EXTREMELY Maladaptive PTSD??
This is mostly theory, as the field of neuroscience has studied and proven that narcissism has genetic influences and that some people are born with a predisposition toward narcissism owing to abnormal brain structure. It's also been shown that narcissists, even as children, do not process adverse childhood experiences in the same way as normal children because they lack the appropriate emotional response reactions in the brain. It's also the case that a large percentage of narcissists had normal childhoods with no emotional abuse. The idea that children went through something so horrific that they killed off their inner self is a way of sensationalizing the topic of narcissism, even though a lot of what mainstream psychology is putting out is incomplete and often downright inaccurate.
Narricists are usually abused or raised by one, that a Narricist
@@KimSaeed That's very insightful. Personality traits are generally predisposed. Since NPD is classified as a personality disorder, it also makes sense that studies would have shown genetic factors contributing to the development of the disorder.
It's equal parts sweet as it is sad that plenty of the comments on these narcissist videos specifically are simply people venting their experiences. I myself have a mother who is a narcissist, and it's always a comfort to see how so many people all have very similar experiences with their parents; to all of you who are currently in an environment with a particularly irascible and/or irritating narcissist, I hold major respect-stay strong y'all.
@@lantern9817 as someone who left a very brief venting comment myself with a similar experience, some part of me wants to still hold onto the hope she can change, but now I’m going off to college, another huge part of me knows she’ll only ever change if she herself does more than acknowledging her behavior and acts on repairing things. Stay strong
@@rivervan it's not healthy to hold on to a kind hope that never existed in the first place. What you need to do now is accept that she's a lost cause and work your way up in severing any and all ties with her permanently.
I have some mental disorders, and as someone with something like that, I have to say this: Having a mental disorder may SHAPE the way you behave, but it’s not forcing it. You still have control, and you can change if you put the effort into it.
Yes
Not for all disorders. Sometimes there is literally no way for you to change without outside intervention like medication or therapy
@billcipher1523 yes. Schizophrenia being one
@@billcipher1523 what's this an apocalyptic being giving wise advice?, do my eyes deceive me?
They can change and incredibly fast it's like they're a whole different person when you don't give them what they want
It's not change. It's playing and changing tactics. It's just a cover. They stay the same inside no matter what
@@Иная yup
Facts.
@@Иная it's a mask they pretend to be good to win your trust
Said it best
This video is based on the opinions and insights of professionals as well as individuals diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). We acknowledge that experiences and perspectives may vary. If you have a different opinion, we welcome you to share it in the comments. However, we kindly ask that you keep the comment section civil and respectful. Thank you for watching and contributing to the discussion.
HIII❤❤❤
I love your video, keep the good work up❤❤❤
True
Im making naracciston story and get this😂😂😂😂
What does it mean when you dream about someone but you don't see there face? BTW I've had a dream recently like this.
It's heartbreaking to know people can go through this. Before people see the rest of the comments and decide if they really want to watch the video, i'd recommend actually watching the video before making judgments. Change is possible, no matter how hard it is
Thanks for sharing this comment!
Only if you believe that you can learn empathy and not have it because of your nature. But will live in a crazy world that believes in learned helplessness so sure, toxic people can change and become social and respect the victims and their problems.
Wrong
You have that right.
@@user-li3du4vo7v Toxic people prfer to know everything better, so believe what you want, but I don´t think that the ones who don´t see your worth, will change. They will win nothing with it, so why change?
If they have no empathy, they're just a psychopath. Which is also a mental disorder. Maybe they'd wanna change cause they feel it'd get them in trouble or something. @@escherichanja8522
A narcissist changes for good when they genuinely desire to do so for the sake of others as well when they take responsibility for their negative actions with actual positive actions, not just talk. Remember, if you are suffering from this inner battle like I have, don't let people tell you can't change for the better, a person becomes good not when people acknowledge them as such but when you've genuinely done your best to change for the better of others.
There's something really liberating about finally living out the dream of defying what everyone thinks of me and loving myself for it.
You think I can't change?! Good thing I'm as stubborn as they come, finding happiness and wholeness is not a battle I'm giving up on.
There is also a video on UA-cam, called "Narcissists are Human" I recommend people watch that as well, as it talks about the personality disorder and how in an in-depth way that dispels the mysticism of the disorder that has been going on through the internet.
"Mysticism ", is the right word.
@@user-zz2dx3qf7uI think that's what they wrote
Thanks for sharing! Will look that up too.
I experienced and observed myself exhibits narcissistic traits when I was 20. My ex girlfriend back then told me that I'm very toxic and needed help, and it made me realize how I act back then hurt her big time.
Only then when I had my dog, it started. I learned how to be patient with animals first.
I sometimes see myself being irritated to people that did bad on video games and think that I could do better than this guy, but I guess it'd always get heated when your team starts to lose. I'm not good at the games I play too so I guess backseating wouldn't do any better.
The omori references wont ever stop huh
Is it a turn off for you? lol
@@Psych2go nah, its just funny
@@ValerinePrisma high five!
The only way to deal with a narcissist is to have a social 'hedge' around them. Everyone who is related to them, works with them, is neighbors to them needs to recognize that they are narcissists and everyone does not let them do their social parasitic moves. That is almost impossible, but the only way.
How does one even go about this? What if they really have nobody around them because of their personality? I care so much about his opinion but he just hates me and has threatened a smear campaign against me in the past…
@@PommeLavande Don't waste your time or life with them. They'll drag you down with them regardless of the cost. They won't change, they can't change, and they don't care!
It's not your job or responsibility to try to change anyone.
I’ve had to deal with a narcissistic brother my entire life (27 years) only just recently started treating him like a stranger and he’s become nobody to me. Honestly it’s the best decision I ever made. No longer has a grip on me. He also shows no desire to want to change things with me because I have nothing to offer him. Remember folks, a relationship with a narcissist is purely transactional, and only one way.
I can see the Omori references.
You can’t hide them from me.
What's that
@@OranTheHerald it’s a depression game
@@OranTheHerald
Omori is an RPG Maker psychological horror/adventure game, exploring the themes of PTSD, depression, self-harm and self-sabotage. It initially plays a role of light-hearted fantasy-adventure game, only giving subtle hints to the true, dark nature of the story, slowly revealing struggles the main character has to go through due to shared traumatizing experience
You’re good at finding it!!
Me and the boys crawling out of the dirt at the scent of an omori reference
My dad is a narcissist. He abused my mom and she divorced him for not just that, but for also cheating on her a lot. He then proceeds to act like mom was "overreacting" about his cheating.
Like wth.
He also cut ties with us recently and said he "needed some space" as if HE was the one suffering after taking most of the money and then wasting half of it on s*x workers. It sucks how he just doesn't realize how much he hurt all of us.
As somebody who has a narcissistic mother, I 100% feel you on that last part. They can say/do the most messed up, unreservedly cruel things and then refuse to acknowledge the emotional impact it has on people around them-sometimes even playing the victim if they believe it'll garner them sympathy.
That’s really disheartening to hear. 😕it must be really hard things for you as a child to go through and witness your parents’ situation.
@@Psych2go yeah it was. My mom moved out of state and is finally living her life without abusive family members so she is so happy. It took her a while to cope but she's back and better than I ever have seen her, honestly. I was traumatized during the whole ordeal but I am slowly figuring things out and I will be going to therapy soon
“I’m leaving you🖕
-EX” was personal💀
💀
She never loved or hated him actually because she was never interested in relationships . . .
@@Polza-sd1sm what?
Never met a narcissist who didn't try to treat me like sh*t , didn't matter to them what they had underneath the mask
Absolutely true in my experience as well.
@@starShadowe it’s most likely them not acknowledging that they are a narcissist, or acknowledge but it’s without repairing actions. I have a friend who goes to therapy heavily for their NPD and a mom who’s untreated and so deep in denial I think the chance of change is slim. I’m so sorry you’ve had those experiences. Ultimately it’s up to those people to get help, no one can be forced to get help before they themselves want to.
@rivervan I agree, unfortunately one of those life lessons I had to learn the hard way but I'm with someone who understands me better now AND cares. Proof even if you've met incredible rotten individuals , whether theyre narcisssists , rapists, abusers, or pedophiles, don't let anyone change your heart or break you because, in the end they're always the broken ones..
They can, I had some narcissistic traits( thank you mom) but I became aware of them and worked to get rid of them. I still practice being self-aware.
as someone with (self diagnosed) NPD this video is absolutely great at encapsulating how I feel :)
my 'persona' is this, stupid, silly, careless, ignorant, slow 14 year old. It's made a lot of things easier for me bc if im faced with a problem, someone will solve it for me, or i can just literally make myself forget the problem right in front of me instead focusing on distractions to keep me feeling not-bad
I still have a lot to better myself with irl that i'mmmmm honestly not willing to change myself for yet. But i guess im trying, reluctantly .. it mostly involves growing out of this dependant 14 year old mentality ive been stuck with and preparing myself for college and adulthood in general
but i just, i dont know, i dont have a lot of motivation to, college seems scary, independence is hard, and ive never been happier when im ignorant of my own downfall in life and how it effects others
im not sure if im willing to let this persona go. its made everything so much easier and less scarier. but it wont work forever, and i dont want to believe that.
i dont know how to convince myself to just grow up. how to grow up. i can start taking care of myself and others better, sometimes i try to, sometimes i succeed, but i just never do anyway.
and knowing i actually CANT let go of that persona might or might not be eye opening lmfao
i guess im fucked unless i get therapy somehow
Whether or not a narcissist can change, i feel the reason for a lot of us to watch this is we are desperately trying to change them. This hope often end up fueling their narcissism. We need to decide for ourselves what we want to do about this seemingly Catch 22 situation.
That's also a valid point. Thanks for sharing!
I've grew up around and lived with an abusive malignant narcissist step father for more than half my life. Narcissists only really change if their ego demands it, which is unlikely. Expecting them to eat humble pie is a different matter. Our materialistic culture encourages you to be a narcissist or have antisocial behaviors.
Be The Change You Wish To See In The World ........
The ableism in these comments is insane, people with NPD are human, a few bad cookies doesn’t mean every single cookie is horrible, and people for the love of god people have to stop using “narcissist” as a substitute for “abuser” just because someone in your life was self centered and abusive doesn’t mean they were a narcissist.
Thank you
THANK YOU! NPD is a DISORDER, and affects firstly the person with the disorder. Tbf that's quite narcissistic to think the first victim of the disorder are the people around the person with NPD. Like you're not the center of the world...
The only ableists are the apologists. Narcissists are not human.
@@ChocolateMilk.. rage bait used to be believable
The simple answer: yes, of course narcissists can change but they need to want to help themself and break the border their mind is going through :)
Not happening.
One last comment I would like to make, I am disappointed, but understanding, that people in the comments have vile reaction to people with NPD, and I understand. I was hurt by someone with that condition too, but instead of stewing on that resentment, I choose to find ways to how can we treat them. Yeah, it’s not easy, nothing is, but the fact that there are self-aware narcissists and that narcissist also face discrimination of their disorder, motivates me to help these people out. Yes, be firm with them, but don’t just demonize. That doesn’t solve the issue, if at all, people with autism will at times be accused of having NPD because we (autistic people) tend to lack empathy, and with the NPD scare, this will create harm for us in the autistic community. I know many people are going to try to tell me “you are wasting your time” “you are a fool” or “they never change” if this is the case, Lee Hammock would not exist.
Also, demonizing and otherizing people is what creates prejudice causing harm, to not only NPD people, but people with disabilities that others mistake as NPD.
“Autistic people lack empathy”. Autistic people have empathy in abundance muka.
I agree, it's the same story every single time.......
As another person with autism, I strongly question you stating that we lack empathy. Some on the spectrum may have trouble expressing the emotions that they feel outwardly, but it’s actually quite rare for any of us to have true apathy. There’s hardly any shortage of empathy whether an autistic person shows it or not.
I certainly don’t have that struggle myself. Today alone was a rollercoaster; I went from smiling and being excited a lot because I got to go to a baseball game, to needing to get off of Facebook because it kept showing me sad things that made me sob a lot.
I am consistently amazed and grateful for this channel. The content is priceless, and the delivery is flawless. I'm gobsmacked by the timing of many of these releases. Some days, it's like you have an insight into my life. LOL This video appearing in my mailbox within 8 hours of receiving an "I choose to love you from afar" video clip from my ex, is the latest example. This is the first communication I've had since I ejected him from my life, and I was stunned. I believe he's trying to get the last word in, and gems like this help me navigate the minefield.
I can't begin to express my appreciation for all you do. I am immensely grateful for the lovely brave people who have been commenting, and posting their experiences.
There is such comfort in knowing that I am not alone. Thank you.
Happy to hear that you found validation and comfort in videos like this during such strange timing. You're definitely not alone as sometimes, we just need to hear what we need to go forward strongly.
I love how even though Eric Cartman from South Park is a Narcissist himself, he can acknowledge that he can change if he gets help, which is exactly what narcissists need if they want to change their ways.
To be honest, I think he is more of a sociopath, because of his criminal behavior…But yeah your argument stays the same
Eric is just product of a environment of messed up people...When he left the friend group he grew into a better person
"Everyone can be a great person, if they just try"
I love the Omori references lol
I believe I am a narcissist.
In all this, you reference the narcissist’s desire to change in order to change but I tell you, without many of my friends’ and loved ones’ support and honesty with me, I wouldn’t have grasped that change for me means-day by day, little by little, slowly breaking down negative core beliefs that had hardened years ago. Doing so often reveals a very raw part of me that I have to face, and I’m trying, but there’s no way in hell I could do this alone, as much as I want to (due to shame), and I’m not really sure anyone could.
Yes, ultimately, EVERYONE has to make the choice to change… but narcissists need a lot of help:( I believe most, if not all, narcissists feel a deep shame of who they are and fear loneliness and abandonment more than most things. But hey, I could just be projecting (:
Of course, the narcissist can change… they change for the worst.
Fr
Exactly this, in my experience they double down
Only correct answer
Realest comment ever.
Does that mean, narcissists don't deserve to live?
2:30 that's actually really sad
Who are all omori fans here?
Besides that... Nice video which explains this topic
Yup...thanks for not demonising and stigmatising this disorder...its a mental health condition like any other else. Im a person with narc traits and maybe npd (not diagnosed but can relate to it a lot)...it takes a lot of self acceptance, self love and self compassion to change. Addresing past traumas, working on our emotional regulation, willingnes to change for the good and to work on ourselves for the sake of it. Since we work on ourselves we also stop hurting other people around us and break patterns and improve relationships...it took me hitting on the rock bottom (i lost my dad) to be self aware and honest with myself. There are plenty of examples like spirit narc and people on subreddit npd who have identified their toxic behaviours and are willing to change...its not like that we cant be self aware but if somebody else is gonna tell the narc to change its most likely that he/she is not gonna change...it has to come from their side, from their within. Not all narcs are abusers. Some are just deeply insecure and broken and need safety, love, care and attention and need to understand that they can trust their loved ones and they are not gonna hurt them as they were in their childhood. Great video!
All narcs ARE abusers. You're deluded!
@@ChocolateMilk.. stop generalizing
@@VoltKarmaTheWashingMachine No, generalizing is an exercise of intelligence. Discrimination is a symptom of intelligence.
@@ChocolateMilk.. Wait, you think discrimination is okay?
Okay, what kind of mindset is this
@@VoltKarmaTheWashingMachine It's called having a brain and using it.
In my experience dealing with my mother, the fake toxic friend from my young adulthood, and the woman who used to bully me as a kid who never developed past that mentality, no.
Narcissists are unable to feel empathy for others. They see people as a means to an end, not as human beings with value. It takes therapeutic intervention for them to even change in the least amount.
They can’t change on their own, because you need empathy and self awareness for that. You have to take responsibility for past actions, something a narcissist cannot do.
Not only they don't change and can't be taught empathy, they actually worsen as they age.
This video is trying to sell us a fairytale. It can give some viewers a false hope, so they decide to give the narcissist a second chance over and over, again and again, and eventually get stuck in a vicious cycle for the rest of their life.
A fairytale world is actually different from reality.
There is a saying, "If you change for change sake, you change, and if you change for goal sake, you don't."
The narcissist Im dealing with is too down bad to be fixed. She's 60 years old and has been a narcissist for most of her life and will actually put people in near death experiences if they call her out....
sweetheart from omori mentioned‼️‼️
So interesting video. I discovered through therapy that I had narcissistic injuries (and as such traits). As I try to self-improve self and changes, I am sometimes missing my ‘old-self’ and feel I was more happy at the time.
So I can relate!
I have a family member who's quite narcissistic. When I was younger, I remember my mother taking a year break from contacting them because they were acting in this manner. This family member did change for a while, but did slip back until their controlling ways again and since my mother passed away, they got worse with how they treated other family members, particularly the males in our family. I do believe they can change, but it's up to them, not me or the rest of my family.
Sometimes the absence of hope when it comes to narcissism feels so overwhelming, because we're starting to forget that they're human.. But if we always put that in mind, we might get lost in either the confusion of how human nature is capable of doing something like this, or drown in the nihilistic belief that human nature is just pure evil, or cling to the shaky but healing hope that this IS human, but not the definition of humaness. I'll choose the third for as long as I can y'all
People can change, it’s not easy and takes years, to think no one can I find to be idealist, cynical, and just pathetic
IS THAT SWEETHEART IN THE THUMBNAIL???
When I feel my past trauma caused by gaslighting, isolating, devaluing I feel like I wanna revenge, I've been diagnosed with Autism, OCD as well as Schizophrenia also having a history of trauma and I believe those who bullied me due to stigma about my lack of religious beliefs by unconsented touching, damaging my property, making hate claims about my existence, religious manipulation and stealing should get what they deserve but when I explore about Sadism, Psychopathy and Narcissism as illnesses, it's kinda hard for me to curse in the way I want.
For example, I also see paedophiles in the same way. I'm not one of them but even criticizing such a group makes me feel like I'm threatened
Empathy and compassion isnt something you can buy or get. Truth is narcissist are broken and weak people. Its trully sad.
I hate how NPD people are always a "they". Everyone talks about them as if they are some kind of monsters.
People with NPD are human.
I don't have NPD (not diagnosed), but I have narcissistic traits for sure. The comments in here make me uneasy. Narcissistic people can be terrible people, but they are people first. I'm sorry you've been treated badly, but maybe you have always been treated badly by them because the only one you recognise as narcissistic people are the people who treat you badly.
Some narcissistic people understand something is wrong with them and don't "act" narcissistic, especially if they have another mental condition (which is likely to happen with comorbidity) like depression or BPD.
People can manage their narcissistic traits, or hide them, to be able to have a good social life, once they understand they have narcissistic traits. So it's totally possible you interact with people with NPD in a daily basis. Some estimations say about 5% of the population have NPD. I don't think all of that population always treat others badly.
It's so ableist, and narcissistic to think YOU are the first victim of NPD. No, the first victim of NPD is the person with NPD. The world doesn't revolve around you. I'm sorry you had to suffer, I truly am, but you suffered because of a shitty person first, not because of a person with NPD.
They ARE terrible humanoids, and nothing more.
Clicked this cuz of sweetheart lmao- my mom is probably a narcissist.
I have NPD. I've been happily married for 13 years so far and the word people most often use to describe me is that I'm a sweetheart. As long as someone is kind to me, I reciprocate.
Yeah but are you kind to your partner behind closed doors or do you treat them like crap?
@@PommeLavande Making that assumption about someone with a personality disorder is the same thing as making that assumption about some rando who walks by. There's a difference between having a personality disorder and being abusive.
@@MaliceInCandyland No, Narcissists ARE abusers. Abusers of people, drugs, attention, money and everything else. Nice try though toxic scumbag!
As someone who’s dealt with both a narcissistic family member and seeing narcissistic traits in myself. I believe that narcissists can change if it’s seen early enough. As said: narcissism runs in DNA and I got my traits from my grandma. Looking back, I realised that I was hurting others in a way that she hurt me. And I didn’t want to become like her. Slowly I started reaching out and it was hard. But seeing the people I hurt being sad because of me was unbearable. And I think I’ve changed somewhat.
DAMN,people always saying"this is the the perfect time for this video",I never related,but this is 100% accuracy to what i have been thinking.
I'm a self-aware narcissist and I help a few others.
We can change, our true selves are fragmented and our compasses miswired but they're still there. And of course recoverable and repairable.
We don't have empathy because we have none for ourselves either. Empathy can be learned. Toddlers learn it. Having to cope at such an early age interrupts learning empathy the usual way, and again, shielding yourself from your own feelings shields yourself from the feelings of others as well.
I wouldn't say I was self-aware when I first learned I have NPD, I certainly didn't take that understanding in a rational direction at first. It's kind of a pattern haha. But that was simply the beginning.
The channels HealNPD and Borderliner Notes have much more in-depth descriptions of pathological narcissism, the latter featuring the treaters who pioneered our best techniques to treat personality disorders, NPD included.
It would depend on why the person is a narcissist, if you ask me.
If it's due to genetic factors, "no, this person cannot ever not be a narcissist". It's literally just an issue of how their brains are wired from the start in that case.
Keep in mind, I am saying this as someone with an Autism diagnosis here. That would be like asking some who has autism to somehow "be cured of their developmental disorder" with just therapy. Sure, you can have therapy of a thousand types for them; they can mask, fake being "normal", but they'll never be able to Neurotypical. They will always still have some traits (both negative and/or positive) of the Autism because it's literally just part of them. It's literally an issue of their brains being wired towards a particular neuro-type from the start. Unfortunately, if it's due to genetics, I doubt you'll ever successfully get the person that's a narcissist to not be a narcissist because it's literally an issue of brain wiring that's down their genetic coding.
It's like having a Mac programming based rather than a PC's, if you try to program a MacBook with PC updates, it's just not going to work. You can try downloading it a billion times bit unless you have a version that can work with a Mac instead, that PC update is just going to cause problems at best.
If it's due to upbringing instead, the answer would be a solid "maybe". Yes, they would have to want to change first.
This is because rather than having this as the person's basic genetic and/or neurological programming, it would be more like being a sociopath. Sociopaths do have the ability to change for the better or worse since sociopathy is basically becoming numb to the feelings of others doe to abuse and/or neglect. Basically summed up in one sentence, if others don't give a damn about you, why should you give a damn about others?
This happens because certain behaviors helped them in an advantageous manner. You can unlearn past-learned behaviors if you can replace them with other behaviors that still works with the individual's needs and/or wants. It's more like replacing an outdated program with an updated one that still 90+% of the same job, do it enough times and you'll have a better working computer program.
I agree with the Autistic portion of what you said being someone with Autism myself. However I will have to disagree with the Sociopath analogy that you used. If people become numb to the feelings of abuse and neglect, that is a symptom of depression, which can be treated by delving deep into the specifics of what caused those feelings in their lives to begin with. A sociopath however is someone who is born without certain positive emotions such as empathy, guilt, or remorse. Sociopaths can change for the better if they really want to, but if they are consistently content with how they are born without those feelings to begin with and seek out a catharsis that they prefer over following society's rules, they ARE going to keep causing problems to other people regardless of how much therapy, medications, or other forms of treatment they go through.
I'm not diagnosed but I feel I have developed depression, debilitating anxiety, insecurity , CPTSD due to neglect, forced growth and everyone I love purposely hurting me at some stage. I remember these feelings starting at 5. Not sure if I'd feel the same way today, at 30 had I experienced growing around mature, secure adults.
You know what made me want to change as a narcissist? A friend refusing to leave me.
Awesome
Not the omori hugging sunny reference😭
And sweetheart too. She is literall embodimwnt of narcicism
While not impossible, we can’t count on it and need to protect ourselves by keeping our distance
I know I am the narcissist and my boyfriend is the one helping me change cus I can't lose him and he wants to stay and help me through it.
I miss the woman's voice. It was so calm, peaceful, & relaxing.🥺💞
I had three grandiose narcissists in my life as far. They never change even if they go to therapy for years. They only learn how to pretend better. In my opinion is impossible to chage bc when your brain develops in your childhood your personality is establishing as you become an adult. Maybe if it was a way to recognise which child has the potential to develop NPD and intervene then, maybe therapy can help them.
They were born that way.
It’s impossible to change if you lack self-awareness, which most, if not all, narcissists lack.
I clicked on this video because its her birthday...
I want her to change for herself and others...
She really hurt me...
I hope she's doing well and she will get better..
All you can do is radically accept that they will never change! It took me 37 years as a daughter to a narcissistic mother to realize that !
Yeah here also same for me it is 17 years😢
“New patterns.”
I like that.
Thanks!
From my personal experience I can say only this. I'm not buying into the fairytale that a narcissist can ever change for better or that they can somehow learn empathy. This video can be harmful for some people who after watching it might believe that there's still a hope that the narcissist they are dealing with in their life can change and can start to treat them kindly. And so they might give them a second chance again and again and get stuck in this vicious cycle for the rest of their life and never get free. Just because some respected psychiatrist said that there is a possibility.
I grew up with a grandiose narcissistic controlling father. He's in his late sixtieth now. For many years I've been hoping that he can become a little less rough and a little kinder. I've been watching him over the years. But his narcissism, his grandiosity, arrogance, lack of empathy, entitlement and abuse of others are only getting so much worse with age.
I wish I had been a realist in the past and stopped giving him second chances. There would be much less suffering and negativity in my life.
To whoever is dealing with an abusive person in their life, I'm wishing you freedom and true happiness.
I agree. The people pandering to psychopathy/narcissists is playing a dangerous game on behlaf of their victims. They don't ever change.
If they don’t see WHY they should change they’ll never do it, simply because they need to realize that they’re WRONG and it’s not likely to happen
Everyone can change if they CHOOSE to.
I'm a Schizophrenic and I was told this many many times but I ask you and them one question, Can you change your mind to see something which doesn't exist (unless you're in a lucid dream)? In the similar way, we also can't stop psychotic hallucinations. I don't criticize this illness because I don't know how it feels.
Everyone can change behaviour, not who they are. You can not just undo genetic disorders.
My stepmom is a narcissist. She always wants to be right. She thinks she knows everything and thinks she’s always perfect. I’ve spoken up if her words and actions hurt me, but it was always how if I would just stop being mean to her and stop bitching, then we would get along. She won’t get help. I have complex PTSD. I’m working really hard on dealing with my complex PTSD symptoms with music therapy. I don’t know if my stepmom will change or not. I mean, I won’t give up hope. I just want her to get help with her problems. I’m not the only one who got it from her in that environment. All I do know is, I’m working hard on a lot of things due to CPTSD. I need to be more patient with myself.
The sooner she leaves your life the better
@@xtalpax902 I live with my biological mom now. My dad still lives with her as well as her kids. I also had an online friend who I think “might” be a narcissist. He was a dick and didn’t have very good empathy either.
@@siennaprice1351 as someone who has a narcissistic mother, I do empathize and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My mom’s incredibly similar to your mom in her behavioral patterns. As I’m going to college in a few months, this last year has truly shown me that narcissists will only get help if they themselves WANT help, doing more than just acknowledging their issues-they’re willing to repair relationships around them for their own sake. It’s a sad reality :(; stay strong.
To truly change, they'd have to understand and accept that the way they've acted is abusive towards other people and they've been horrible people, I don't think most NPD's ego can handle admitting and accepting something like that, it's much easier for them to simply delude themselves their action were justified for bullshit invented reason than face the painful and shameful truth.
One of the root causes of npd is toxic shame (usually from childhood). You can't treat what was damaged by fire with more fire. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
they will never change trust me,
I had to be blunt with a narcissist girl i really love alot. She did the typical npd stuff. She ended up just blocking me and said "no you" "blocked" when i told her i was tired of her not appreciating me and walking all over me and to get help for her addiction and her narcissism
I think they can change if they hit rock bottom and then there are only two options: either choosing to change (with long term therapy&commitment) or behaving exactly the same ways. However I do believe it is possible to change if they truly want it. If they realise it‘s for their own sanity. As if they continue that way, it‘s a recipe for self destruction and there are people that can see through the masks. So why hide?
Taking Lee Hammock as a role model and motivation is fantastic. ❤
They don't change. They hit rock bottom when their mask slips, but then they turn murderous or just completely psychopathic.
@@ChocolateMilk.. sad. Then my hope is completely destroyed now. However, this was my assumption if npd is strong. If not, awareness can be possible at least.
@@Redheadbelle Having narcissistic traits and having NPD is very different. NPD is hardware, narcissistic traits is software.
@@ChocolateMilk.. sad but true. Although you can decide to completely change the hardware. In my eyes. As NPD harms yourself and others and it always ends up the same way.
@@Redheadbelle Don't really think you can change the hardware. Yes, it's sad. Better to keep such people at a distance.
Hi, psych2go
When I see the video it looks like a cartoon but it as a lot of meaning
I see your videos when I was uncomfortable
So thank you for making this type of videos ❤❤❤❤
Thank you so much! So glad that our animation helps make difficult topic easier to watch! 💕
I believe my younger brother and my dad are narcisist.
Me and my brother dont speak ourselves anymore since a 2 years.
Recently, I have started to think about he to be a narcisist.
He dont understand my depression and blames me.I hope he doesn't go through the things I went through.
i would like to see him better, but he never think about how he affects people around himself.
He is a doctor. But he says psycchology and psychatry are not science... :/ Too smart but too dumb.
about my father, i given up about him already.
This sounds like a "No" with extra steps.
1:11 "With proper therapy and a genuine desire to improve their relationships"
Okay so... My mother CAN'T change... She will never get therapy nor will she ever want to change
I as well have a narcissist mother, who does actually go to therapy weekly. The thing is, even then, she still hasn't gotten any better; sometimes it's really hard to still hold out hope for the fact that anybody with narcissism could ever change. My reverence to you for having a narcissistic parent; it ain't easy. Stay strong.
@@lantern9817 It's proven again and again that narcissists gets worse with therapy. It's like inviting burglars to a 'home security convention'.
As a narcissist I want to change 😢
beautiful thumbnail
Thank you for noticing!! :)
If they "change" is for a while, it's just for them not to loose something important, not because they are actually sorry...
My ex partner is a narcissist...
I started therapy because of him...
He does not want to go...
We are both broken inside but I am the only one willing to change...and that makes me sad because I really cared about him...
It could have worked out between us if he was not like this 😞😞
Let him go emotionally and keep the therapy going. You are going to have to dig deep and make your decisions with your head & not your heart. Your well-being & soul is at stake here. You will make it.
What eerie timing bc I was trying to have a conversation with my narcissist mother yesterday :/. Thank you for this, it’s super appreciated 🩵.
My mother is a narcissist (and bipolar) as well; my respect goes out to you for being able to stay sane while being raised by a parent that has narcissism. It's tough, that's for sure.
Ofc they can change! But don't wait around for them to. It's not worth it and some may even push the "I can change!" and temporarily act less abusive just to roap you back in.
In my personal experience, they dont change ; they manipulate you into thinking they are only to find them just worse
My mum is a narcissist, as much as I pray that she’ll change, I doubt… she’s already sixty and I’m in my late twenties but she still controls me and treats me like a child. I just recently started therapy to cope
Sorry to hear that.. having a parent who is a narcissist can be very draining and abusive. Do you mind sharing some of the behaviours that you notice in her?
@@Psych2go Thanks for your reply, I'd love to share. So as mentioned, she is very controlling, basically wants to control everything in my life and treats me like a child. She also instills guilt in me by saying that she doesn't get a divorce because she doesn't want me to be bullied, but at the same time, she doesn't love my dad and uses me as a weapon in her broken marriage. Its suffocating being around my parents because they constantly drain me emotionally by using me to fill up their emotional voids.
Apparently I've been diagnosed with hyper anti-narcissism 😀
I love how they clarified that having narcissistic traits does not equate to actually being NPD, cause nowadays people are just quick to label certain traits with some unhealthy disorders. Which could also affect how they view themselves. We're all imperfect and deserving of room to grow, but it's disheartening when people define you with those flaws as if that's all there is to you. Just my two cents.
I feel like I used to be a narcissist back when I was younger, I was really toxic to my friends and I would just cause problems because I thought it was funny, I was actually upset because I was bullied everyday in school and had huge mental health issues. I would hide my insecurities and take my frustrations out on other people and manipulate other people. I stopped doing all that once I realized I was being a huge ass, and didn’t want to harm others just because I was suffering. Nowadays most of my insecurities are gone and I’m a lot happier, I also take medication for some of my illnesses.
I love his voice 🔥
Thank you! We have more videos with his voice too if you want to check them out.
Thank you for this knowledge, I acknowledge I have an "ego" in myself.
I hope to breakthrough this behaviour in my life and in my soul forever and ever, and to diminish this "term" from the book of my life forever.
I seal this in the name of Jesus Christ. Let my mind, my heart, my body and my soul shall be purified and shall be healed. Amen❤
I was narcissistic. But after reading the comments, i feel like evem after years of trying to change, i will never be ‘normal’ even if ive tried my best. But i understand. I’ve probably done horrible things. Its making me wonder if i should just take me out of this world, instead of stay in it, and see myself like this. When will people understand words hurt
Find a life partner who is diagnosed with NPD and who knows you are too. Then I guess and just live your life and wait
@@asloii_1749 whats npd if i may ask?,
great now do the one with narcissistic tendensies and how noone should lable someone a narcissist without a degree to do so :D
Narcissists need to be held accountable and have access to therapy
My father is a narcissist.. so um I’m watching this video and I feel that if narcissistic people try really hard they can try but that would only be if they care about others
Im sure im a narcissist, but im always trying to be nice to not face any consequences
My parents pretend they are better people now but I'm sure they are pissed I won't take the bait anymore. I learned to not trust words if they don't align with actions.
Of course they can they're still human like we all are, neither they just don't want to or they needed help
Damn that false sense stuff sounds so terrifying to me
Of course they cannot change.
I know someone who is a narcissist, they also have been diagnosed with schizophrenia and bpd, the keep sayingt hey want to change but is doing little to do so, its been stressfull and tiring, been dealing with it for over 5 years now
They change. A nice person changes into an abuser. 😦😧😨