I hope you feel proud that not only did you get through 90% of the trip successfully, but when you had a panic attack, you figured out a solution. You adapted and accommodated yourself. ❤️
I wonder instead of feeling shameful about how your trip ended, if you could change your mindset to be proud that A) You went on the trip. You did it. No matter how you came home, you went on the trip. And B) Although you didn’t come home the way you’d planned, you did make it home, and you can trust yourself to take care of yourself even when things feel hard, and even if that doesn’t look the way you or others expected it to. Sending you lots of positive vibes. If you couldn’t tell by my 3 separate comments I really related to this entire video. Even the 3pm slump.
You DID succeed! You rode a plane with no issues!! Don’t dismiss the major accomplishment just because the second try wasn’t successful. We’re PROUD OF YOU!!!
For me, emotional fatigue can trigger anxiety and panic. Maybe by the trip home you had spent all your available spoons hon and that's ok. Not so long ago the idea of the whole trip would have been a trigger so the fact that you got all the way there on a plane and spent the time visiting on the trip is a huge win! You just have to give yourself credit for the things you do accomplish and not just focus on the setbacks. The majority of the trip was a win! ❤
I hope this doesnt sound trite or unsupportive, but i found what helped me when life changed with flying, (i had previously loved flying). I use over the ear noise cancelling head . I also get seats towards the front of the plane and aisle seat only. I also started little things (you may call them superstitious, but hey they work) like tapping the outside of the plane as i board. I also have a mental thing i do. Now dont laugh, but i hear jean luc picard from star trek in my head saying shields up, engage and make it so, which gives me this sense of control. It has now worked for years and i can fly without issue. It took me a number of years and flights to get here, but i kept telling myself i would not let my anxiety or fear control my life. I wish you the best.
That your mom, grammy and aunt agreed to the roadtrip shows how serious your anxiety is. And besides you don’t have to explain yourself. You are loved. We dont care about anything but your wellbeing ♥️ here for tea with bea
I grew up in a family that thought mental health was all in your head. I finally was diagnosed and medically treated for anxiety and realize how looooong I struggled. It’s a thing, be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to have some ‘bad days’ - it happens! But then, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get back on the wagon because you did it before, you can do it again! You’ve got this Girly!
Hey bea, I used to struggle with panic disorder to a pretty extreme degree for a few years. Whenever I would have some time without having a panic attack and then get another, it felt a lot like having a “relapse” so I can really relate to some of what you are saying. Keep reminding yourself that just like with any growth journey, the path is non-linear. One situation does not undo all the progress you have made so far. Show yourself extra grace, love, and comfort while you take the time you need to process that situation. There is a path forward! Much love ❤
Okay, as a sister panic attacker, who also has the trigger of being trapped, YOU DID GREAT!!! You made it there and drove home. Yes, you had to get off the plane, but that is Not a loss! You just did so much, and so much that involved no decompression after you flew! Two flights? I bet you you were up and on almost all the time you were with family and visiting. No down time and you Got On The Plane! That is HUGE!!! You got on the plane. That in itself is a massive thing! Think about you two years ago, would you even have gone out of your home? (Your mom's home) No. So you made a plan, you worked the plan, and you came so far, THAT IS A WIN! YAY! YOU!
It’s interesting that the panic attack happened on the way back. Maybe you could discuss with your therapist (if you have one), what triggered you on the way back that was different from the initial two flights. Something must have triggered you and if you can discover what that is, hopefully you can have the resources next time to combat it or spot your triggers. Awareness helps. The fact that you were able to go on two flights without a problem is huge, which means you could do it again. Don’t be too hard on yourself. P.S. Lookup UA-camr Elyse Myers, she has several heartfelt videos where she struggles with her agoraphobia and she is so relatable and funny, like you, she did not develop her panic issues until a few years ago. The self talk she uses with herself is really kind without being cheesy. I highly recommend (plus she’s hilarious!)
You are a truly lovely person. Thinking through the emotional rollercoaster of your frightening and demoralizing experience on the plane, you recognize that as a result of this painful event, that you can more fully empathize with your sister's challenges. Your kindness is uplifting. As always, you inspire me to take better care of myself, and to forgive myself when I fall short of my short term goals.
Love you Bea! Proud of you for getting through as many parts of that journey as you did (you should be proud too!!) and hope being back in your own space has you feeling better soon 🩷
Bea I also have a horrible fear of planes and I think it's less a fear of flying and more a fear of not being able to get out of the plane if I need to, exactly like you said (a loss of control I suppose) -- but I will without fail have a panic attack if I travel specifically on planes. I am so so proud of you! It is disheartening when anxiety and fear feel like they have more control over you and you do of them, but they do not define you -- thank you for sharing this video, it makes me feel less alone and I hope talking things out helped you too! We are all just trying to be human for the first time!!
Girl I feel ya on the panic and anxiety. It's the most horrible, terrifying and uncontrollable feeling. I went on a cruise (my 10th and never any issues). And I had MULTIPLE panic attacks on the ship. And it was traumatic. But I am on this journey with ya all the way from PA! LOVE YA keep on keeping on
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, steve_porassss . I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
This is so excellent, really! You've done car washes, and trains, and planes. When something didn't work out, you adapted successfully. You bought nourishing food, and not only did you clean a gym and yoga studio, you *used* them. AND your coping mechanisms are puzzles and audio books?! Squee. YOU ARE AWESOME! I'm so impressed and proud. Also, I wait until my washer sets the countdown and then set an alarm for that amount of time, otherwise I'd never register when it finishes.
Girl, are you taking a Valium 20 minutes before you get on the plane? Game changer and perfectly reasonable in the circumstances. Good on you for trying though - it's impressive. Save the bad feelings for things you can control.
it’s something you will beat because you are not letting it stop you from putting your gram’s needs first. as a girl who gets horribly sick from planes I truly understand, I know it’s hard not to look at the one failure instead of the previous successes but that’s what you achieved before you gave in, be proud you deserve it. ❤
It’s so crazy to hear someone else vocalize exactly what I’ve been feeling lately. Even down to the feeling of hitting a wall around 3pm. Definitely feeling a little sad and embarrassed about my own situation. You’re not alone! We can push through this. We’ve done harder things! ❤
Bea please try to celebrate the positive steps that you took ❤. Plus the great memories you shared helping your Grandma get to visit her sister!!! You are a blessing to others
Thankyou for being so open and honest about what youre going through (even though im so sorry youre struggling with anxiety!). But it makes me not feel as alone in my own struggles. I hope things look up for you ❤️
It sounds like you did incredibly well and I’m so sorry you’re feeling so awful right now! For me, my fear of flying and panic episodes made sense after I got my Autism/ADHD diagnosis. For me, it was actually environmental overwhelm which I hadn’t considered before and flying got easier once I understood that
When i was pregnant my anxiety was the worst it's ever been, like constant panic. I also started getting into cheesy romance novels for the first time to cope! My brain literally couldn't handle anything serious
I wouldn’t be able to deal with my anxiety and panic attacks I’ve had for my whole life almost if I wasn’t taking a daily medication! So missy…. you are doing so well with what you can do and doing it unmedicated!
There are fast acting meds for panic but they tend to be addictive. SSRIs tend to initially provide help with anxiety but actually can create rebound higher anxiety over time
Love that your family is so supportive and accommodating and not shaming. Amazing. So what impact has your relationship with Steven had on your mental health and recovery? He seems extremely lovely and caring ❤️
I’ve not known anyone else who’s gone/going through the leaving the house safe place anxiety. I started dealing with that some years ago as well. It has been really hard, but has gotten better I’m happy to say. I wish that for you as well. I hope you are still proud of yourself for taking those trips and making memories through the discomfort.
I've missed several vids so am behind but I definitely understand the setback you may feel - you did do the challenge though! You did the scary thing and also have support for the way back which is wonderful! Also, you're raising chickens?!?!?! Gurl, you're caring for many in that household!
Girl we love you! It is like horseback riding: Every rider will fall eventually and a lot of times. You pick yourself up from the floor, dust your pants, straiten your crown and get in the saddle again. It sucks, but you learn something. And the moments of pure joy are worth a 1000 falls. Sending you love and light, blessed be.
I have had super high anxiety for a week or more now, and I hate it. It’s one of the hardest things to go through. I’m so sorry you are going through it too. Sometimes I need to figure out how to get out of my own head about any stressors that I go through. I beat myself up over the stressors. Hope you are feeling better. We love you Bea!!!!
oh Bea, how I recognize everything you say!!! Been there.. thank you for sharing this cause 2/3 of the world has no idea what it feels like to have panic attacks and anxiety. What helped me after years and years was respiratory therapy. I learned to control my panic. Love You and don't ever give up. You did very well.
I've been using this too, it seems I can switch panic off by making each out-breath long, slow and controlled, and breathing all the way out. Well, that's what's been working for me. ❤
Long time follower - I love hearing about your wins, no matter how small. Your perseverence to keep starting over is inspirational and I know you'll conquer your anxiety one day. You've made it so far and you're already miles ahead of where you were even a year ago.
That’s difficult 😔 I love walking around my neighborhood, it’s so convenient to throw on some shoes and walk right out my door. And when I see my neighbors walk around outside my house it makes me happy to see them out walking their dogs, or running, or taking the kid for a walk, or biking. So I’m sure your neighbors feel the same! Good luck with your walking journey 🩵
Thank you for sharing your ‘failures’ along with your successes. We all have things we are disappointed in ourselves for so it’s very relatable. In addition, you have such a great ability to pick yourself back up and try again, which is inspiring! You also have an ability to be gentle with yourself, which is an important skill.
I had literally the exact same thing happen to me about 6 years ago now. Got a “fun” fear of planes, traveling, sitting in traffic, heights, and everything. What helped me recover was coming to terms with that it was ok to have panic and focusing on not trying to avoid panic but more how to cope with life with panic and putting myself first. Took one full year to not have daily panic attacks after the initial major episode and then another two or three of me accepting my new reality. but I’m basically back to normal now and living a way healthier life than what caused my panic to start in the first place. You can do it!!! It’s so hard but possible to feel better. Especially when you’re brave and continuing challenging the panic like you’re doing. Sending lots of positive vibes. You’re the first person I’ve come across describing basically exactly what I survived through. ❤
I also want to mention that with severe panic disorder - there’s not always a trigger for the panic. At least for me I’m never going to find the magic key to avoid panic. My brain learned a horrible coping strategy during the initial episode and now having a panic attack is as easy as pie. If I’m stressed enough- I’ll have a panic attack over literally anything for no reason. Once I realized that it got so much easier. I need to keep my stress low and know I’m safe even if a panic attack happens and that my day isn’t ruined. For me it was such a freeing thought. I don’t know if this is helpful but figured I’d share in case it helps someone else to read.
This vlog resonates with me so much. My anxiety and panic manifests itself in the most random ways - sometimes I’ll be fine for month and then all of a sudden, BOOM! It hits. Thank you for sharing and being honest with what you experienced. One day at a time. ❤
Dearest Bea--you did not fail...you changed course, friend. When a sailboat is headed toward a destination and a storm hits, it must change course. Getting to the destination later than planned is not a failure--it's safe. I understand being embarrassed, you're human after all. But seriously, you came up with a different plan, got yourself unstuck, and you're processing. As someone who also struggles with panic attacks and due to CPTSD is often in freeze mode, I hope you're able to see the strength and growth that change of course was. :^) Oh, and YES on libraries!!!!! You can stream movies with them too!
at the phase of celebrating small wins only as well. quit my job early this year cause my mental health took a nose dive and have been taking baby ant steps since. sending you big hugs from across the globe.
Your resilience is amazing. You look great despite how you may feel. It's amazing to see someone reflect publicly so honestly regardless of negative feedback. You have so much going for you, that you worked hard for, and I hope you can harness all your successes and fuel yourself to just keep going at your own pace!
You are the first person that I’ve ever come across that took the words out of my mouth for how I feel. I have been struggling with horrible panic attacks and anxiety for a few years after never having experienced it. SO SCARY. I hate popping meds I need a better solution when I’m spiraling
The airplane thing gets better. I promise. I used to be terrified to fly. I did exposure therapy, which is kind of what you explained you were doing. Then for years I had to use medication when I flew. I flew in February, and I flew without meds. I did cry on three of the four flights, but I did it. I also wore a mask, so that I didn't feel self-conscious crying. Be patient with yourself. It takes time. And, it's okay no matter how long it takes. Also: be kind with yourself, you were probably very over stimulated by the end of the trip.
I love your channel because you are so much like myself. You voice the same concerns and confusion I too struggle with and it helps me realize I'm not alone. 10 years ago when I was 27 I had my first major panic attack. It turned into panic disorder and I've been struggling to gain my independence back fully ever since. I've made great progress in the past 3 years but still struggle. Your trip story is so similar to the ups and downs I deal with daily. And the motivation in the morning then afternoon mental blocks and turning to genres you once didn't like for peaceful entertainment in the evenings. I too sit with puzzles or diamond paintings. Thank you for your content. Sending you nothing but well wishes! ❤
Bea! I have been watching you from the very beginning and am a huge fan and supporter of you girl. You have been with me through it all! I read a book a few years back called The Body Keeps the Score and it changed so much for me and helping my understanding of why my body hurts, aches, gets injured etc. Love ya girl and am rooting for you!❤❤
I love your desensitization exercises. I love how you were preparing yourself. I went through a season of panic attacks and it was quite a challenge to feel steady again. But I’ve been steady for over 10 yrs now. I’m believing that you can get here too.
I am so happy you were with supportive people! I love your family! I loved what others said about being proud of what you accomplished...and day to day, we are kinetic , not static- physically, mentally, spiritually...love ya in all states. Best to you
So proud of you Bea! Hopefully you guys were able to make the most of your car trip back and made some memories there too. With time, I am sure you will be able to look back at the situ and examine with new clarity. In the meantime, glad to hear you are keeping busy & giving yourself grace!
Been there, done that in regards to panic attacks. Mine were for any reason or no reason -- for several years. What finally seemed to help me were meditation and some supplements. Every body and brain is different, but this is what helped me. I started taking magnesium citrate twice a day, B complex (high potency) and Omega 3 supplements (I use Barleans liquid in Orange, which is tasty AF.). Please don't beat yourself up about the panic attack. I've been there. I once flew to Chicago, then couldn't get on the next plane and had to come back home. I get it. p.s. also 4-6-8 breathing can sometimes help me. Breathe in to the count of 4, hold my breath for 6, exhale for 8.
You must have a great man who sticks by you and continues to help you cope with your anxiety.. I have watched you for many years and I love you so much for whatever you do and your personality is the BEST!!! I have depression and anxiety from my childhood so I get that when you are going through things you don’t want to post.. nice to see you again!!! 💜💜✌️
I have done nothing with my life for a while. I avoid lots. You got on a plane twice,you got off once. The math says a bigger numerical success. You got in the gym and did some exercise. Sounds like progress to me. Best of luck!
I think you did fantastic on your trip! Consider that by the time you were coming home, your brain must have been EXHAUSTED. You kicked ass for almost the entirety of the trip, and that last plane trip was just a bit too much, and that's so understandable and totally okay. You did great and made a tremendous amount of progress. Well done you!❤
Hi! I recently found your channel and been catching up as I’m bed bound with a broken ankle. I really appreciate your candor about challenges in life and mental health, as well as your lighter side! I’m looking forward to joining you on the journey from now on!
Bea, growth is not linear! Ups and downs are still growth, and you made huge progress, be so proud of yourself! I've recommened it before and I'll recommened it again for anyone who needs it, the podcast episode by Therapy in a Nutshell called Mastering the Paradox of Acceptance and Change has changed my life and got me through flights I nearly deplaned from. You all have got this!
GIRL. I have so much to say. Firstly, you did so so well even with a panic attack. I am sorry you had one but I am also proud of you for handling it. Second, I absolutely get the note having a routine while traveling and it kinda makes the tumtum feel more blech. I traveled a ton for my old job and learned to have “my hotel fridge staples” and then have a specific meal each day I make for myself. I would either use hotel plates or bring/buy my own paper plates and whatnot(it was just me so it would only be like five at a time) to minimize cleanup if it wasn’t a kitchenette hotel room sort of deal. Idk if that would work for you but I noticed I was happier even if I just bought bagged salads from Publix. Thirdly I LOVE YOUR HAIR COLOR! looks lovely
Hey Bea, I'm a long time viewer of your channel. I hope this doesn't sound weird, but I remember in an older video, when you talked about your ADHD diagnosis, they mentioned you might also have autism. If that's true, those episodes of anxiety might be overstimulation rather than just anxiety. I recently found out I'm likely Audhd (so I might be projecting 😅) but I remember feeling like being around people for long periods of time would drain my energy and cause anxiety and claustrophobia, leading to shutdowns. I don't know if it's the same for you, but either way, you deserve to give yourself grace ❤️ You've worked really hard and come so far, physically, emotionally, and mentally. You're a strong person 💪🫶
I really appreciate you being willing to share. I hope it is cathartic for you. I think you are exactly who you need to be right now, and you are great. I would ask you (and me and all of us) to give ourselves grace. All trying to feel safe and loved and maybe afraid we are neither.
I find crocheting while watching a show or listing to podcast/audiobooks helps. Pick a project that is easy- something you don’t need to constantly focus on instructions for. Also, crochet is allowed on a plane and is very calming. That way you can feel “productive” while relaxing .
I just started reading romances for my anxiety, it’s been a game changer! I’ve been a lifelong reader, but when things are overwhelming it’s hard to commit to a book, but I don’t want to stop reading. They’re so low stakes that it keeps me distracted and keeps me from a reading slump 🙌🏻
As someone who grew up trying to be perfect as a trauma adaptation, I completely understand how the amazing success of making it through almost all the flights and then participating in a balanced adaptive solution to the panic has virtually no importance compared to the "failure" of not being able to endure the last leg of the journey. I encourage you to keep redirecting your mind to the successes, because they really are successes. Thank you for sharing your reality. I am confident that your experience helps validate others who are struggling. 💞
I've struggled with panic attacks since I was twenty. It's not as debilitating as it sounds. I pour all that unsettling energy into accomplishing things. I have high functioning anxiety. But now, in my mid-forties I've slowed down and learned to REST. I've done what I've wanted..there's more I want to do but it doesn't have to be all right now. We don't need to rush towards death, Bea. We're fine. 💛
Listen girl no one is perfect but we are getting through this life as perfectly as I know. You did great going as far as you did.... Don't count the down part count how far you got .. baby steps..
As a fellow anxiety disssorder person, I feel you to my core. You did great going as far as you did!! I find if I can focus on one thing I shut the self hate noise out of my head. Self sabotage is a thing and I swear it is connected to the whole reason we spiral in the first place!
For me it’s not all or nothing. You’re working through your things. You got on a plane and survived the trip. That’s a huge success. Don’t beat yourself up. You’re doing better than what you think. ❤
So proud of you bringing this topic up there is a lot of people going through this and feel they are the only ones so well done you I’ve got a friend who is so like you and some of her friends don’t understand just keep trying It seems Steven is supportive for you x
1/2 c of white vinegar in the fabric softener compartment will take the mildew smell right our of your laundry and washer. The squish-mallow cleaning was very entertaining and satisfying. Good to see you back.
Glad you are okay...I was worried 🥲 long hours trips tend to be verrry stressful even for me.... don't beat yourself over it. Just rest more and enjoy the season's warm food 😙
You did great for such a big trip! You are getting stronger, and that is a huge win! On another note, I had tennis elbow a long time ago and my chiropractor was able to adjust the tendons in my elbow and wrist which helped it go away, sounds like that’s what you accidentally did.
11:29 ouch. Tennis elbow. I had that for about 6 months and I know what you mean about not being able to lift small things. I finally healed and now I have a new injury in my leg. Yay. But working out through it. 😫
@@jennielauber8308 try to lower your weights and do only moves that dont hurt it too bad and maybe only do arms twice a week until its better. It is horrible but it will heal. Even if it doesn't feel like it now. Mine would go away and then come back for awhile. I know its frustrating but you got this and soon you feel good again to up the weights. Goodluck 💪
If someone you loved dearly had a panic attack, disrupted the plan and felt bad about it, what would you say to them? You would be kind and loving and hope that they could give themselves some grace. You would make them a cup of tea, pour them a bath and take care of them until they felt better. Be your best friend and take care of yourself in the same manner. Give yourself some grace. That trip was a huge step for you and you nailed almost every aspect of it, then you recognized you were at capacity and found a new solution. That's a win, girl! I just went through something tough and gained 14 lbs in two months. It's what I do and that's ok, it was what I needed at the time. I can always get back on track and care for myself, we are just doing the best we can. Love you
My daughter was studying in Italy - her dream, when her clinical OCD flared up and she had to come home. We walked through that recovery process with her, so I definitely see you. Doing the next healthy thing is a great way to get started. Much love to you ❤
I hope you feel proud that not only did you get through 90% of the trip successfully, but when you had a panic attack, you figured out a solution. You adapted and accommodated yourself. ❤️
Yes!!
same, she did great
Agreed!
I wonder instead of feeling shameful about how your trip ended, if you could change your mindset to be proud that A) You went on the trip. You did it. No matter how you came home, you went on the trip. And B) Although you didn’t come home the way you’d planned, you did make it home, and you can trust yourself to take care of yourself even when things feel hard, and even if that doesn’t look the way you or others expected it to. Sending you lots of positive vibes. If you couldn’t tell by my 3 separate comments I really related to this entire video. Even the 3pm slump.
I feel like this community is the most adorable non demanding bunch of people and i love it so much
I agree her community is so understanding & sweet. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a negative comment 💕
You DID succeed! You rode a plane with no issues!! Don’t dismiss the major accomplishment just because the second try wasn’t successful. We’re PROUD OF YOU!!!
I check in regularly to see if you're okay, but don't take that as pressure to post content. We care, but we understand.
Same same 🥰🤌🤌🤌🤌
Agreed!!
Agreed!
“Stephen, that is not a meal, that’s an ingredient.” 😂😂
For me, emotional fatigue can trigger anxiety and panic. Maybe by the trip home you had spent all your available spoons hon and that's ok. Not so long ago the idea of the whole trip would have been a trigger so the fact that you got all the way there on a plane and spent the time visiting on the trip is a huge win! You just have to give yourself credit for the things you do accomplish and not just focus on the setbacks. The majority of the trip was a win! ❤
I hope this doesnt sound trite or unsupportive, but i found what helped me when life changed with flying, (i had previously loved flying). I use over the ear noise cancelling head . I also get seats towards the front of the plane and aisle seat only. I also started little things (you may call them superstitious, but hey they work) like tapping the outside of the plane as i board. I also have a mental thing i do. Now dont laugh, but i hear jean luc picard from star trek in my head saying shields up, engage and make it so, which gives me this sense of control. It has now worked for years and i can fly without issue. It took me a number of years and flights to get here, but i kept telling myself i would not let my anxiety or fear control my life. I wish you the best.
Makes sense. You've attached a ritual that signals safety to your brain. Let Captain Picard handle this, you can stand down, brain.
I will now always believe the Captain of every air craft is Jean Luc Picard. I needed this in my life. Thank you.
Great tips and don’t ever judge what your tools are because you did it! You overcame anxiety and won and that is an inspiration to many!
I would go anywhere with Jean Luc Picard! 😍
I always touch the outside of the plane when I board!
That your mom, grammy and aunt agreed to the roadtrip shows how serious your anxiety is. And besides you don’t have to explain yourself. You are loved. We dont care about anything but your wellbeing ♥️ here for tea with bea
I grew up in a family that thought mental health was all in your head. I finally was diagnosed and medically treated for anxiety and realize how looooong I struggled. It’s a thing, be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to have some ‘bad days’ - it happens! But then, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get back on the wagon because you did it before, you can do it again! You’ve got this Girly!
Hey bea, I used to struggle with panic disorder to a pretty extreme degree for a few years. Whenever I would have some time without having a panic attack and then get another, it felt a lot like having a “relapse” so I can really relate to some of what you are saying. Keep reminding yourself that just like with any growth journey, the path is non-linear. One situation does not undo all the progress you have made so far. Show yourself extra grace, love, and comfort while you take the time you need to process that situation. There is a path forward! Much love ❤
Okay, as a sister panic attacker, who also has the trigger of being trapped, YOU DID GREAT!!! You made it there and drove home. Yes, you had to get off the plane, but that is Not a loss! You just did so much, and so much that involved no decompression after you flew! Two flights? I bet you you were up and on almost all the time you were with family and visiting. No down time and you Got On The Plane! That is HUGE!!! You got on the plane. That in itself is a massive thing! Think about you two years ago, would you even have gone out of your home? (Your mom's home) No. So you made a plan, you worked the plan, and you came so far, THAT IS A WIN! YAY! YOU!
Be kind to yourself. You keep getting back up and that is amazing!
It’s interesting that the panic attack happened on the way back. Maybe you could discuss with your therapist (if you have one), what triggered you on the way back that was different from the initial two flights. Something must have triggered you and if you can discover what that is, hopefully you can have the resources next time to combat it or spot your triggers. Awareness helps. The fact that you were able to go on two flights without a problem is huge, which means you could do it again. Don’t be too hard on yourself. P.S. Lookup UA-camr Elyse Myers, she has several heartfelt videos where she struggles with her agoraphobia and she is so relatable and funny, like you, she did not develop her panic issues until a few years ago. The self talk she uses with herself is really kind without being cheesy. I highly recommend (plus she’s hilarious!)
I love Elyse! Her self talks even encourage me and I don’t suffer from panic attacks…she is real and hysterical..
You are a truly lovely person. Thinking through the emotional rollercoaster of your frightening and demoralizing experience on the plane, you recognize that as a result of this painful event, that you can more fully empathize with your sister's challenges. Your kindness is uplifting. As always, you inspire me to take better care of myself, and to forgive myself when I fall short of my short term goals.
You are amazing! Anxiety is no joke and desensitizing yourself is wonderful but it takes time. Celebrate your wins, girl! You’ve got this. 🎉🎉
The way those two chickens ran after you like “wait, mama!!!”
OMG!!!!! I just about lost it when they took off behind her!
@@J-Williams same! It’s so cute!
I thought the same thing….chickens love their mama! ❤
Love you Bea! Proud of you for getting through as many parts of that journey as you did (you should be proud too!!) and hope being back in your own space has you feeling better soon 🩷
Bea I also have a horrible fear of planes and I think it's less a fear of flying and more a fear of not being able to get out of the plane if I need to, exactly like you said (a loss of control I suppose) -- but I will without fail have a panic attack if I travel specifically on planes. I am so so proud of you! It is disheartening when anxiety and fear feel like they have more control over you and you do of them, but they do not define you -- thank you for sharing this video, it makes me feel less alone and I hope talking things out helped you too! We are all just trying to be human for the first time!!
Girl I feel ya on the panic and anxiety. It's the most horrible, terrifying and uncontrollable feeling. I went on a cruise (my 10th and never any issues). And I had MULTIPLE panic attacks on the ship. And it was traumatic. But I am on this journey with ya all the way from PA! LOVE YA keep on keeping on
You did great for such a big trip! You are getting stronger, and that is a huge win!
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, steve_porassss . I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is steve_porassss.
This is so excellent, really! You've done car washes, and trains, and planes. When something didn't work out, you adapted successfully. You bought nourishing food, and not only did you clean a gym and yoga studio, you *used* them. AND your coping mechanisms are puzzles and audio books?! Squee. YOU ARE AWESOME! I'm so impressed and proud. Also, I wait until my washer sets the countdown and then set an alarm for that amount of time, otherwise I'd never register when it finishes.
Girl, are you taking a Valium 20 minutes before you get on the plane? Game changer and perfectly reasonable in the circumstances. Good on you for trying though - it's impressive. Save the bad feelings for things you can control.
Gravol also works well for anxiety as an off-label use
it’s something you will beat because you are not letting it stop you from putting your gram’s needs first. as a girl who gets horribly sick from planes I truly understand, I know it’s hard not to look at the one failure instead of the previous successes but that’s what you achieved before you gave in, be proud you deserve it. ❤
It’s so crazy to hear someone else vocalize exactly what I’ve been feeling lately. Even down to the feeling of hitting a wall around 3pm. Definitely feeling a little sad and embarrassed about my own situation. You’re not alone! We can push through this. We’ve done harder things! ❤
Bea please try to celebrate the positive steps that you took ❤. Plus the great memories you shared helping your Grandma get to visit her sister!!! You are a blessing to others
Thankyou for being so open and honest about what youre going through (even though im so sorry youre struggling with anxiety!). But it makes me not feel as alone in my own struggles. I hope things look up for you ❤️
If Stevie hadn’t already shown his face to camera Garfield would be his censor 😂❤
Bea, it is in the past. Let it go now. You flew to Arkansas and drove back, no big deal. Give yourself a break. Love ya girl.
It sounds like you did incredibly well and I’m so sorry you’re feeling so awful right now! For me, my fear of flying and panic episodes made sense after I got my Autism/ADHD diagnosis. For me, it was actually environmental overwhelm which I hadn’t considered before and flying got easier once I understood that
When i was pregnant my anxiety was the worst it's ever been, like constant panic. I also started getting into cheesy romance novels for the first time to cope! My brain literally couldn't handle anything serious
I wouldn’t be able to deal with my anxiety and panic attacks I’ve had for my whole life almost if I wasn’t taking a daily medication! So missy…. you are doing so well with what you can do and doing it unmedicated!
Perhaps medication would help Bea, but she seems determined to be her own doctor.
There are fast acting meds for panic but they tend to be addictive. SSRIs tend to initially provide help with anxiety but actually can create rebound higher anxiety over time
Love that your family is so supportive and accommodating and not shaming. Amazing.
So what impact has your relationship with Steven had on your mental health and recovery? He seems extremely lovely and caring ❤️
“Stephen, that’s not a meal it’s an ingredient” got me tbh
You’re great, thank you for your videos, they’ve helped my get through a lot
I’ve not known anyone else who’s gone/going through the leaving the house safe place anxiety. I started dealing with that some years ago as well. It has been really hard, but has gotten better I’m happy to say. I wish that for you as well. I hope you are still proud of yourself for taking those trips and making memories through the discomfort.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I completely understand the disappointment. I've been there myself. I'm glad to see you're doing well now 😊
I've missed several vids so am behind but I definitely understand the setback you may feel - you did do the challenge though! You did the scary thing and also have support for the way back which is wonderful!
Also, you're raising chickens?!?!?! Gurl, you're caring for many in that household!
Also, I rarely enjoy myself on trips because I'm always worried about the return trip. I get the return being the challenge.
I go to the chiropractor every month, I have hipermobile joints, so it’s just something what keeps me feeling good and active. Steven’s a gem!
Girl we love you! It is like horseback riding: Every rider will fall eventually and a lot of times. You pick yourself up from the floor, dust your pants, straiten your crown and get in the saddle again. It sucks, but you learn something. And the moments of pure joy are worth a 1000 falls. Sending you love and light, blessed be.
I have had super high anxiety for a week or more now, and I hate it. It’s one of the hardest things to go through. I’m so sorry you are going through it too. Sometimes I need to figure out how to get out of my own head about any stressors that I go through. I beat myself up over the stressors. Hope you are feeling better. We love you Bea!!!!
you always get back up, and that's admirable and im so here for it. ❤
Always glad to see you've posted. Have anxiety and panic issues myself. I'll will just chug along with you. ❤
oh Bea, how I recognize everything you say!!! Been there.. thank you for sharing this cause 2/3 of the world has no idea what it feels like to have panic attacks and anxiety.
What helped me after years and years was respiratory therapy. I learned to control my panic.
Love You and don't ever give up. You did very well.
I've been using this too, it seems I can switch panic off by making each out-breath long, slow and controlled, and breathing all the way out. Well, that's what's been working for me. ❤
Steven that's not a meal that's an ingredient 😂❤
Long time follower - I love hearing about your wins, no matter how small. Your perseverence to keep starting over is inspirational and I know you'll conquer your anxiety one day. You've made it so far and you're already miles ahead of where you were even a year ago.
I have anxiety walking outside in my neighborhood. Fear someone is talking about me. I can go over to my friends house and walk for 3 miles.
That’s difficult 😔 I love walking around my neighborhood, it’s so convenient to throw on some shoes and walk right out my door. And when I see my neighbors walk around outside my house it makes me happy to see them out walking their dogs, or running, or taking the kid for a walk, or biking. So I’m sure your neighbors feel the same! Good luck with your walking journey 🩵
Always happy to see updates. Good bad or indifferent. We all support you ! ❤
Libby and Kanopy are the two best apps available through your library 💕 📚 📺 💕 Good to see you Bea!
Thank you for sharing your ‘failures’ along with your successes. We all have things we are disappointed in ourselves for so it’s very relatable. In addition, you have such a great ability to pick yourself back up and try again, which is inspiring! You also have an ability to be gentle with yourself, which is an important skill.
I had literally the exact same thing happen to me about 6 years ago now. Got a “fun” fear of planes, traveling, sitting in traffic, heights, and everything.
What helped me recover was coming to terms with that it was ok to have panic and focusing on not trying to avoid panic but more how to cope with life with panic and putting myself first. Took one full year to not have daily panic attacks after the initial major episode and then another two or three of me accepting my new reality. but I’m basically back to normal now and living a way healthier life than what caused my panic to start in the first place.
You can do it!!! It’s so hard but possible to feel better. Especially when you’re brave and continuing challenging the panic like you’re doing. Sending lots of positive vibes. You’re the first person I’ve come across describing basically exactly what I survived through. ❤
I also want to mention that with severe panic disorder - there’s not always a trigger for the panic.
At least for me I’m never going to find the magic key to avoid panic. My brain learned a horrible coping strategy during the initial episode and now having a panic attack is as easy as pie. If I’m stressed enough- I’ll have a panic attack over literally anything for no reason.
Once I realized that it got so much easier. I need to keep my stress low and know I’m safe even if a panic attack happens and that my day isn’t ruined.
For me it was such a freeing thought. I don’t know if this is helpful but figured I’d share in case it helps someone else to read.
This vlog resonates with me so much. My anxiety and panic manifests itself in the most random ways - sometimes I’ll be fine for month and then all of a sudden, BOOM! It hits. Thank you for sharing and being honest with what you experienced. One day at a time. ❤
Dearest Bea--you did not fail...you changed course, friend. When a sailboat is headed toward a destination and a storm hits, it must change course. Getting to the destination later than planned is not a failure--it's safe. I understand being embarrassed, you're human after all. But seriously, you came up with a different plan, got yourself unstuck, and you're processing. As someone who also struggles with panic attacks and due to CPTSD is often in freeze mode, I hope you're able to see the strength and growth that change of course was. :^) Oh, and YES on libraries!!!!! You can stream movies with them too!
at the phase of celebrating small wins only as well. quit my job early this year cause my mental health took a nose dive and have been taking baby ant steps since. sending you big hugs from across the globe.
Your resilience is amazing. You look great despite how you may feel. It's amazing to see someone reflect publicly so honestly regardless of negative feedback. You have so much going for you, that you worked hard for, and I hope you can harness all your successes and fuel yourself to just keep going at your own pace!
You are the first person that I’ve ever come across that took the words out of my mouth for how I feel. I have been struggling with horrible panic attacks and anxiety for a few years after never having experienced it. SO SCARY. I hate popping meds I need a better solution when I’m spiraling
The airplane thing gets better. I promise. I used to be terrified to fly. I did exposure therapy, which is kind of what you explained you were doing. Then for years I had to use medication when I flew. I flew in February, and I flew without meds. I did cry on three of the four flights, but I did it. I also wore a mask, so that I didn't feel self-conscious crying. Be patient with yourself. It takes time. And, it's okay no matter how long it takes. Also: be kind with yourself, you were probably very over stimulated by the end of the trip.
Girl I get it, panic is scary and no fun. I had an episode last week. But getting through is such an accomplishment 😊 you are awesome!
I love your channel because you are so much like myself. You voice the same concerns and confusion I too struggle with and it helps me realize I'm not alone. 10 years ago when I was 27 I had my first major panic attack. It turned into panic disorder and I've been struggling to gain my independence back fully ever since. I've made great progress in the past 3 years but still struggle. Your trip story is so similar to the ups and downs I deal with daily. And the motivation in the morning then afternoon mental blocks and turning to genres you once didn't like for peaceful entertainment in the evenings. I too sit with puzzles or diamond paintings. Thank you for your content. Sending you nothing but well wishes! ❤
Bea! I have been watching you from the very beginning and am a huge fan and supporter of you girl. You have been with me through it all! I read a book a few years back called The Body Keeps the Score and it changed so much for me and helping my understanding of why my body hurts, aches, gets injured etc. Love ya girl and am rooting for you!❤❤
I love your desensitization exercises. I love how you were preparing yourself. I went through a season of panic attacks and it was quite a challenge to feel steady again. But I’ve been steady for over 10 yrs now. I’m believing that you can get here too.
I really appreciate the labor you exert to help normalize mental health exploration. It has helped me so many times to just know that I'm not alone. 💜
I’m so glad you’re back!! I missed you. As a fellow ADHDer I understand your anxiety issues. Hope you’re feeling much better soon!
I am so happy you were with supportive people! I love your family! I loved what others said about being proud of what you accomplished...and day to day, we are kinetic , not static- physically, mentally, spiritually...love ya in all states. Best to you
So proud of you Bea! Hopefully you guys were able to make the most of your car trip back and made some memories there too.
With time, I am sure you will be able to look back at the situ and examine with new clarity. In the meantime, glad to hear you are keeping busy & giving yourself grace!
Been there, done that in regards to panic attacks. Mine were for any reason or no reason -- for several years. What finally seemed to help me were meditation and some supplements. Every body and brain is different, but this is what helped me. I started taking magnesium citrate twice a day, B complex (high potency) and Omega 3 supplements (I use Barleans liquid in Orange, which is tasty AF.). Please don't beat yourself up about the panic attack. I've been there. I once flew to Chicago, then couldn't get on the next plane and had to come back home. I get it. p.s. also 4-6-8 breathing can sometimes help me. Breathe in to the count of 4, hold my breath for 6, exhale for 8.
You must have a great man who sticks by you and continues to help you cope with your anxiety.. I have watched you for many years and I love you so much for whatever you do and your personality is the BEST!!! I have depression and anxiety from my childhood so I get that when you are going through things you don’t want to post.. nice to see you again!!! 💜💜✌️
I have done nothing with my life for a while. I avoid lots. You got on a plane twice,you got off once. The math says a bigger numerical success. You got in the gym and did some exercise. Sounds like progress to me. Best of luck!
I think you did fantastic on your trip! Consider that by the time you were coming home, your brain must have been EXHAUSTED. You kicked ass for almost the entirety of the trip, and that last plane trip was just a bit too much, and that's so understandable and totally okay. You did great and made a tremendous amount of progress. Well done you!❤
Hi! I recently found your channel and been catching up as I’m bed bound with a broken ankle. I really appreciate your candor about challenges in life and mental health, as well as your lighter side! I’m looking forward to joining you on the journey from now on!
I've never clicked a video so fast , glad to hear from you bea❤❤❤ do what you gotta do, we will always be here for you
Bea, growth is not linear! Ups and downs are still growth, and you made huge progress, be so proud of yourself! I've recommened it before and I'll recommened it again for anyone who needs it, the podcast episode by Therapy in a Nutshell called Mastering the Paradox of Acceptance and Change has changed my life and got me through flights I nearly deplaned from. You all have got this!
GIRL. I have so much to say. Firstly, you did so so well even with a panic attack. I am sorry you had one but I am also proud of you for handling it. Second, I absolutely get the note having a routine while traveling and it kinda makes the tumtum feel more blech. I traveled a ton for my old job and learned to have “my hotel fridge staples” and then have a specific meal each day I make for myself. I would either use hotel plates or bring/buy my own paper plates and whatnot(it was just me so it would only be like five at a time) to minimize cleanup if it wasn’t a kitchenette hotel room sort of deal. Idk if that would work for you but I noticed I was happier even if I just bought bagged salads from Publix. Thirdly I LOVE YOUR HAIR COLOR! looks lovely
"My ego is bruised"... I felt that Bea. So proud of you! 🌹
Hey Bea, I'm a long time viewer of your channel. I hope this doesn't sound weird, but I remember in an older video, when you talked about your ADHD diagnosis, they mentioned you might also have autism. If that's true, those episodes of anxiety might be overstimulation rather than just anxiety. I recently found out I'm likely Audhd (so I might be projecting 😅) but I remember feeling like being around people for long periods of time would drain my energy and cause anxiety and claustrophobia, leading to shutdowns. I don't know if it's the same for you, but either way, you deserve to give yourself grace ❤️ You've worked really hard and come so far, physically, emotionally, and mentally. You're a strong person 💪🫶
I really appreciate you being willing to share. I hope it is cathartic for you. I think you are exactly who you need to be right now, and you are great. I would ask you (and me and all of us) to give ourselves grace. All trying to feel safe and loved and maybe afraid we are neither.
I find crocheting while watching a show or listing to podcast/audiobooks helps. Pick a project that is easy- something you don’t need to constantly focus on instructions for.
Also, crochet is allowed on a plane and is very calming.
That way you can feel “productive” while relaxing .
We all have things that scare us and try to get through them but facing our fears.Good for you for trying!
I just started reading romances for my anxiety, it’s been a game changer! I’ve been a lifelong reader, but when things are overwhelming it’s hard to commit to a book, but I don’t want to stop reading. They’re so low stakes that it keeps me distracted and keeps me from a reading slump 🙌🏻
Every episode is worth watching. Thanks for sharing both sides.
As someone who grew up trying to be perfect as a trauma adaptation, I completely understand how the amazing success of making it through almost all the flights and then participating in a balanced adaptive solution to the panic has virtually no importance compared to the "failure" of not being able to endure the last leg of the journey. I encourage you to keep redirecting your mind to the successes, because they really are successes. Thank you for sharing your reality. I am confident that your experience helps validate others who are struggling. 💞
I've struggled with panic attacks since I was twenty. It's not as debilitating as it sounds. I pour all that unsettling energy into accomplishing things. I have high functioning anxiety. But now, in my mid-forties I've slowed down and learned to REST. I've done what I've wanted..there's more I want to do but it doesn't have to be all right now. We don't need to rush towards death, Bea. We're fine. 💛
Listen girl no one is perfect but we are getting through this life as perfectly as I know. You did great going as far as you did.... Don't count the down part count how far you got .. baby steps..
As a fellow anxiety disssorder person, I feel you to my core. You did great going as far as you did!! I find if I can focus on one thing I shut the self hate noise out of my head. Self sabotage is a thing and I swear it is connected to the whole reason we spiral in the first place!
Your trip is huge progress! Don’t forget to count the wins as well as looking at the part to still work on. Be kind to yourself. ❤
For me it’s not all or nothing. You’re working through your things. You got on a plane and survived the trip. That’s a huge success. Don’t beat yourself up. You’re doing better than what you think. ❤
So proud of you bringing this topic up there is a lot of people going through this and feel they are the only ones so well done you I’ve got a friend who is so like you and some of her friends don’t understand just keep trying It seems Steven is supportive for you x
1/2 c of white vinegar in the fabric softener compartment will take the mildew smell right our of your laundry and washer. The squish-mallow cleaning was very entertaining and satisfying. Good to see you back.
Thanks Bea as always. Nice you went and supported your Grandma.
Give yourself grace! Don’t be too hard on yourself. Glad you’re back Bea!
Praying for you Bea! Been watching you for years and you inspire and are so honest. Thank you for sharing and being honest.
Glad you are okay...I was worried 🥲 long hours trips tend to be verrry stressful even for me.... don't beat yourself over it.
Just rest more and enjoy the season's warm food 😙
You did great for such a big trip! You are getting stronger, and that is a huge win! On another note, I had tennis elbow a long time ago and my chiropractor was able to adjust the tendons in my elbow and wrist which helped it go away, sounds like that’s what you accidentally did.
11:29 ouch.
Tennis elbow. I had that for about 6 months and I know what you mean about not being able to lift small things. I finally healed and now I have a new injury in my leg. Yay. But working out through it. 😫
Tennis elbow sucks. I'm currently dealing with it. Not being able to lift weights is getting to me.
@@jennielauber8308 try to lower your weights and do only moves that dont hurt it too bad and maybe only do arms twice a week until its better. It is horrible but it will heal. Even if it doesn't feel like it now. Mine would go away and then come back for awhile. I know its frustrating but you got this and soon you feel good again to up the weights. Goodluck 💪
You accomplished so much and one set back does not make you weak it makes you human. You are doing great. ❤
If someone you loved dearly had a panic attack, disrupted the plan and felt bad about it, what would you say to them? You would be kind and loving and hope that they could give themselves some grace. You would make them a cup of tea, pour them a bath and take care of them until they felt better. Be your best friend and take care of yourself in the same manner. Give yourself some grace. That trip was a huge step for you and you nailed almost every aspect of it, then you recognized you were at capacity and found a new solution. That's a win, girl! I just went through something tough and gained 14 lbs in two months. It's what I do and that's ok, it was what I needed at the time. I can always get back on track and care for myself, we are just doing the best we can. Love you
My daughter was studying in Italy - her dream, when her clinical OCD flared up and she had to come home. We walked through that recovery process with her, so I definitely see you. Doing the next healthy thing is a great way to get started. Much love to you ❤
Your elbow situation sounds like nursemaid’s elbow and that Steven unintentionally “revised” it.
So sorry that happens to you, Bea. Proud of you for being brave and for sharing.❤