Rebound Relationships! Did My Ex Really Move On So Quickly?
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- Опубліковано 5 вер 2024
- If your ex are in rebound relationships, it's easy to to think " did my ex really move on so quickly? "
A rebound relationship can feel like your ex moved on without a second thought, but in actualy fact the opposite is true.
Take a walk with me in this video and find out if your ex really moved on when in a rebound relationship.
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They moved on physically but not emotionally. The rebound is a way to numb themselves
To the pain of the failed relationship and to validate their ego.
9 months later, after breaking up and two weeks later jumping into a new relationship with another guy, the betrayal still hurts. I will never look back tho, I will never contact her. I will respect the pain I’ve been through and continue to work on myself. I just pray that life eventually brings me someone that truly values me.
It will
Remy. How is it a betrayal if you guys were broken up when she rebounded? Think very carefully about the story you tell yourself.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick Because even though I didn’t include further information in my previous comment, I had found out she was already talking to this same guy a month before breaking up with me. I saw the text messages and so much more.
@The Love Fix something similar happened to me and I still feel like it's a betrayal even though we were separated. She may have said we were separated but how could her heart do that. How could she fuck someone else so soon after? Where did her love go? I know you're video explains that the rebound just provides her with a certain anticipation and feeling that is only temporary. But I could never take anyone back who slept with her ex during our short time apart. I understand your video, but it makes me believe she is just a slut who has no self control and had to fuck someone else just to feel better. I should have never broke no contact with her. Part of what you said is true, that she isn't over it because I found out she still loved me but doesn't see a future with me. But I feel so betrayed even though we weren't together. I lost all respect for her. I do view her as a drug addict. She isn't able to live without attention for another man. Even when I first met her she latched on to me so quickly and desperately.
I’m sorry to hear that man. That’s more of a monkey branch than a rebound.
But either way. You can either waste your time and energy hoping she pays for a sins, or you can take that energy and invest it into your healing and growth. Choose wisely.
I think until they experience a monkey branch and rebound relationship AFTER leaving you, they haven't truly experienced the grief and what it is like to feel your absence. They need to feel that absence and subconsciously look for you in others to realise what they had. Absence makes the heart grow stronger.
It’s such a cowardly thing to do. I still don’t really know if my ex rebounded or just cheated but he decided he wanted to leave me, went on tinder and once he felt he was on to a sure thing he blindsided me and left. He isn’t doing the parading around part though. He’s saying the relationship ended and now they’re just friends 🙄 but it does feel like he’s just jumped into a new life while I’m left with the heartache. I really hope it’s true and he feels the pain one day and doesn’t just keep swinging from one to the next to avoid it.
It’s cowardly based on your metrics and worldview, not his.
Therefore, it’s futile putting your metrics on someone else. It’s far easier to find someone who matches your metrics.
She monkeybranched from me within days of saying she didn’t wanna talk.
I was monkey branched after a mostly good four-year relationship/situationship. My ex is fearful avoidant. He has not done any grief work. He was aided by her family. I guess she is a better fit for him. I said “No” to friendship and just let him go. I am healing and going on with my life. Funny that in hindsight, he really wanted to keep me as a “friend “. Weeks before he offered to do anything for me and take me places. NC forever for me. I live and learn.
Yes she did. Even if she didn't always assume she did.
I used to wonder why I had to feel such a intense pain from this breakup, but as much as I'd like to go back to what we had, as much as I miss her and that burning love between us, it's done and since I chose to not wallow and work on self improvement in every aspect.
I'll tell you what, the old me wasn't anywhere near the man I want to be, he wasn't capable of being a father, a provider a good lover, I was still a kid. This pain made me build up my physique, my finances and my drive. Now I'm closer to the man I thought I was when I was with her, now I can comfortably take on the future with confidence.
Sometimes...we need to lose that Innocence to become a man (or woman)
Glad to hear you’re doing well buddy. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for the insight. Watched several vids and all have brought more clarity… The fact that we are all here dealing with the same thing shows that it’s not personal.
After 3 years my ex jumped into a new relationship within 2 weeks with a guy she went to high school with. The first red flag in our relationship was alcohol addiction early on… I was worried then we would never overcome it and told myself to walk away. Like you described, I didn’t want to give up on her and gave it a chance. She stopped drinking, which I believed, but replaced it with smoking weed and vaping. She denies that has anything to do with her drinking addiction.
She had never smoked weed before she quite drinking. It stated off slow but quickly turned into buying more and more oils, gummies, prerolls, drinks, etc… At first it was the lesser of two evils. I would rather her do that than drink. I use to smoke every day so I understood it but also understood the habit didn’t lead to anything good so I couldn’t support it. This issue and all that it affected is what I felt doomed the relationship. Addiction issues run in her family too so it’s understandable.
Nothing I can do but take responsibility for the flags I allowed myself to ignore and move on.
Thanks again.
Hope you’re feeling better buddy.
My ex said she grieved me during relationship and left me over text. 2 years we've been together, this feels like betrayal. And her being in relationship 2 months later is another insult to the injury.
She emotionally checked out whilst still in the relationship with you. She was either telling you what was wrong and you did nothing, or she didn’t tell you and therefore you couldn’t do anything because you didn’t know. Either way, communication failed and she emotionally checked out. That is not betrayal my friend. It’s shitty communication.
@TheLoveFix-Nick Sorry it is betrayal to me because she told me she loves me week before breakup. Even said she loves me 20 minutes face to face before dumping me over text when she got back home...
Dude, All due respect and i say this with compassion so you can heal. Take your head out of your ass! What someone said yesterday doesn’t mean it’s true today. People change, feelings change, the world changes. We have to roll with the punches and adapt. This girls feelings changed and she acted based on those feelings. That’s okay! Yes it hurts and i am hear to help you get through it, but this is not betrayal my friend. Shes released you so you can now find someone better. It is the greatest opportunity of your life. Don’t waste it.
@TheLoveFix-Nick I agree feelings change, but at least don't keep on telling me everything's fine and don't keep making plans with me if you'll drop me off of face of the Earth 20 minutes later, knowing full well you are going to do it. And then avoid calling me or meeting me because you don't want to do it, because for you a sentence long text is better than to tell someone over the phone or in person that it's done and that you want to move on.
I gave her 2 chances to end it in person and she refused because she was overwhelmed with life and was depressed. I didn't want to burden her and told her we could always work on it together once her life calms down a bit, that I won't move on.
Yet she reassured me time and time again it's all good and proceeded to call me her best friend, make plans with me etc. Just to dump me in such a cruel manner and then bring up every bit of issue we had. Mind you she didn't even give me reason for the breakup during the breakup so I had to contact her 2 months after to get reason or whatever it is that caused the breakup.
She pointed out every flaw I had and mistake I did even as far as to say that my medical condition played a role in relationships downfall...
Yet she took no accountability, even when she did she quickly deflected it by saying well I would've done x if you done y.
She claims she moved on yet she said she's still angry and hurt, it's all just contradictory to me and it doesn't help it when she said she's planning on starting a new relationship with the guy she met a month after.
So much for being friends and lovers, I am hurt, but deep down I know a true friend wouldn't lie to you and ditch you in such a manner over text and deny closure or any sort of talk. Thinking about it, true friend wouldn't go as far as to mention your medical condition as an excuse. That's low in my opinion, after you've been with someone for 2 years. To say that you understand their condition and then bring it up as one of reasons for the breakup during the fallout is just wrong.
That's like me saying to a crippled person, I can't date you because you're crippled after spending so much time with them. That's wrong.
Hope you understand why I feel the way I do, I understand feelings change, but you can at least be decent about it and explain what's happening or voice your needs properly. At the very least, don't stoop as low to bring someone's condition up as a reason, as you knew they had it and still do and are working on fixing it for the sake of themselves and relationship.
@@rasidsaranovic7921I totally agree with you. I experienced this from a woman.
While our relationship did have challenges, she consistently professed her love for me and continued to make future plans with me right up until she ghosted me. I found out she monkey-branched. I felt deeply betrayed and deceived. Such an embittering experience.
No they didn't move quickly, that rebound has always been there, just new to you
Keep telling yourself that. I wish you well with this path you’re on.
Agree. It's monkey-branching. That rebound person was there for a while.
Yup my x said he was a friend it's so fkd up how she did me
So brilliantly said, thank u Nick!
Thank you Donna, i appreciate your kind words. I hope you’re having a great day.
2.5y relationship. I was her first Bf. I neglected her & we mutually agreed to breakup. I ended up reconsidering the relationship but seemed like she had already been on a date (2m post breakup). When I went N.C she reconnected with the guy she had been on a date with & they been hanging out for 4 months, they just recently changed their relationship status. Could it be a rebound? Seems like she’s taking her time and being cautious.
That’s rough man.
A rebound is where someone is emotionally.
If she hadn’t fully dealt with your breakup before getting with the new guy, that could be considered a rebound.
What if the dumper ir emotionally unavailable?
Can you give some additional context, please?
@@TheLoveFix-Nick I mean, these people (emotionally unavailable avoidants) has burried their emotions so deep that they can easily detach and switch from relationships to relationships without any regret and live happy with their new partner 😢 while we are left with such a pain.
Avoidants still crave intimacy, it just freaks them out where when that get to a certain level. They don’t detach they freak out.
Can monkey branching by an ex also be viewed as seeking a dopamine hit?
Thank you - this has been such an eye opening perspective; unfulfilling relationships though.
Essentially, yes. Monkey branching is just a fancy word for cheating.
Omg, my ex reach out to me today after.. what.. 2 to 3 months of her monkey branch 😅 so bizzare. Dunno whats going on , but she just text to "check" on me
Tell you’re good and go about your day.
It hurts to see her do all the stuff she never wanted to do with me. Why do you give him all the stuff i wanted from you
Only she will know the answer to that, my friend.
It’s not worth asking those questions, they only drive you crazy.
Asking better questions like “how do I boss this breakup, be better and find better than her?
It’s going to be okay.
Mine was 4 days after
Is it still considered a rebound relationship if she emotionally cheated on you for 3 months prior to breaking it off with you and has developed a "serious relationship" with the new person where they believe they're "in love" in only 3 months? Known each other for 6 months total? It's also becoming increasingly clear she hasn't healed fully despite trying to pursue this new guy and feels the need to repeat how happy she is now yet has crossed boundaries with me during her new relationship.....I feel it is but whatever the case, I'm through with the situation and her in all honesty!
That’s a monkey branch, my friend.
Also, why do you have so much information about them?
@@TheLoveFix-Nick stupidly tried to be "friends" and both of us breaking our no contact rule because we were each other's first love's and she spilled everything.....
That’s rough.
I think it’s time for you to go full no contact. Contact with her right now it’s only going to hurt you and delay your recovery.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick that's when she crossed lines the most as well and these reasons I'm about to share are why I feel it's a rebound even though, I'm through with this whole situation and even being her "friend"....she attempted to lie about their relationship at first and claimed we needed space but we "will" learn to rekindle our relationship. I caught them straight up on a date and she eventually revealed the truth. She has been trying to make healthy attempts to pursue this relationship and keeps crossing lines she can't come back from with him yet has kissed me several times, toyed with the idea of us "figuring things out" between us yet chose to continue deepening her new relationship *this one was truly offensive to me*, sent me love songs referencing us and in particular, ones that either reference the realization of the loss of our relationship, or ones that imply she isn't as happy as when with me and "he isn't me", claims she "misses me" and that a part of her is always with me and is lost everytime we part ways, complained about their problems to me *thought you were happier than you ever have been*, and admitting to thinking of me intimately still. I agree completely it is time to say goodbye. Especially now she has been lashing out at our past relationship and my own feelings for her because I committed the horrific sin of being an actually good friend....whatever mistakes that I made in our relationship that drove her down this road didn't warrent this madness....I'm out! She has lost the one man who loved and cared for her more than he EVER will and that is what she wants. Live with that 🙏
@@TheLoveFix-Nick Indeed. I'm thankfully alright and recovering! Absolutely 💯 believe me.....she has made me reach my breaking point recently....it is not confirmed %100 yet and still could be false but an "accident" has occurred between them that they are nowhere near prepared for financially or mentally at just 22 both of them if this ends up happening....she was so discompassionate and disrespectful explaining how it happened....🤢 Once again disregarding us and my feelings towards her as she panics and spirals....I couldn't take it anymore! "Our relationship is really none of your business anymore....so stay out of it!" Says the girl who shared most of their issues without permission. 🙄 despite those boundaries/lines she crossed with me while with him, it's becoming increasingly clear her feelings for me have been nearly extinguished and I'm through taking this abuse from someone who clearly isn't fully healed despite continuing to pursue him. I demanded space this time and she suggested 3 months of no contact....she won't even hear from me even then! You have lost the one man who loved you more than he ever will and I'm fully prepared to be a man of my word! I will never regret an important chapter in both of our love lives but this isn't my first love anymore....this is the real her....and I can no longer stomach who I see.....I'm done! I refuse to respond if she contacts me before the next 3 months confirming or denying the "accident" it is time she gets a taste of her own medicine and realize that man is GONE!
This is going to be a longer mesaage, I would really appreciate it if you could read it and give me your oppinon and help.
My ex and I got together 3 months after we met, but the thing is we gave eachother space and time and everything before we got together because her ex broke up with her like a month before we met. And I worked towards some goals. I won't talk much about beggining, because it's not the point.
Fast forward to breakup week. We spent the weekend together, and during that weekend she told me that she does not want to end up like her mother and father, and she said that even tho I am not like her father, quite the opposite, she felt like she will not be fulfilled in the long run. We talked a bit (that was saturday) and decided that we want to try to make it better oncr more (that was not the first time we had that type of convo. Whenever we had that period and we talked, next few weeks would feel like a hpneymoon phase). Anyways, I could just sence something is off during that day and the day after. She was mostly emotional towards me like she would be, but still i felt like something is happening behind my back. I went back home and felt the same way every single day so few days later she broke up with me saying that she does not feel emotional towards me, it's not me it's her and even tho I was caring towards her, she could not do it. She said like everything is pressuring her, she wants freedom and to be "alone" (very important word) for a while. Fast forward few days, I saw her wearing sweater that I have never seen before, knowing that the guy she's been talking to towards the end of our relationship gave it to her, but still hoping it's not like it seems. About week or two passes and I saw her posting him on instagram being little bit more emotional than usual.
I will admit that that hurt me, because I know we were about few uncofrotable conversations from getting stronger than usual.
My question is, what do you think about this situation and how can I heal? I feel a little bit betrayed because it seems like she emotionally cheated on me with him, and she left me for him. I don't know if I am right and if not, how can I change the perspecitve so I can heal?
I could tell much more about situation, relationship but I feel like that is too much to write about and it may be a violation of privacy since I am writing on the internet.
Thank you in advance.
Edit: some important notes.
- We were together for over 2 years
- She was hot and cold towards me during relationship, one period she wants kids with me and wants to marry me, then the period comes where she “does not know if she really wants it” and that would happen over and over again
- During the relationship the effort she put was sometimes pretty good and when that period comes, she would not put really as much effort
- Everything happened in under a month
People will do what they want to do, my friend.
We have no control over that.
Regardless of the reasons behind her decision, it’s largely irrelevant.
End result is the same. She chose to leave the relationship.
I know that’s harsh, and I’ve been there! The pain is horrible. But you just yourself. What is the truth of her actions?
@@TheLoveFix-Nick thank you for your time and answer. I apreciate that.
The truth behind her actions and decisions is by her words “It’s not you it’s me. It can’t be that you get along with everyone and nit with me. I don’t feel anything towards you, and if we always have this kinds of coversations, this has no future.”
At first I was like okay, it makes sence. It may be that we could not get along anymore or whatever the reason may be. But the moment I saw her actions after we broke up, it clicked for me that everything she said is more of a way to leave me for another person than to actually leave me. It seems like she seeks that feeling of new, the feeling of always being in the comfort zone, ect ect.
Regardles of what it is, my end goal is to heal myself so I don’t pass trauma or any kind of negative energy to new person, because I want long lasting partner, someone I will marry, not someone that will seem like leaving me when it’s hardest or when grass seems greener on the other side
It’s painful to realise the real truth, but it’s what sets you free.
It’s going to be okay.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick of course it will. Thank you for your kind words.
Hold on bro what if we got monkey branched? Does that still applies 😢
Yes.
Yal you had better not do it to them those poor women
Does this apply if the dumpee got into a rebound??
Yes. A rebound It’s an emotional response to secure their emotional survival.
Is monkey branching the same as a rebound relationship
No, monkey branching is emotional cheating. It’s having some ready to replace the old relationship, so there is an overlap between relationships.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick so will that relationship last longer or should I just give up
Buddy, I don’t know how long it will last.
The real question is, do you want to take someone back who emotionally cheated on you?
If you allow that kind of person back into your life, all you’re showing them is they can do whatever they want whenever they want.
It’s not about giving up, it’s about moving forward and loving yourself.
I hope you feel better.
Ye so my ex split 6 months ago with in days she hanging out with her neighbour after he got out of a 4 year relationship then within four months later I confronted her 4 months later eventually admitted she started seeing him then I hear there engaged a month later after learning they started seeing one another please explain wtf is goin on here without a doubt it's gotta be a double rebound isn't that worse?
Some of us are victims of being monkey branched, which is far more worse.
Being a victim is a choice buddy. You get to choose how to respond. Do you want to be a victim and just sit there, or be a student and level up? Choose wisely
@@TheLoveFix-NickActually, being a victim and doing something about it are not mutually exclusive. Just because one acknowledges that he has been victimized doesn't mean he intends to make that his identity or to wallow in it. Being a victim is very often NOT a choice; but it is a matter of choice to do something about it to repair oneself.