Why didn't these two tell the caller to WAIT a couple of years to see if his girlfriend was serious about working hard? She should be able to pay off $100K in a year. (In fact, Dave never tells people to wait / pause a couple of years on getting married and I've always wondered why.)
As a female, I would not marry her with that much debt. He's in a good position to walk away or just hold off the wedding. No way. This is very much an early sign to be careful.
We held off on getting married until both of our debt was paid off. Paid cash for the wedding. Started off marriage debt free with our emergency fund in place. Best decision we made.
If people followed this advice some would never get married. You don't need to have a wedding to get married if the hold up was you wanted to pay cash for the wedding
I’m a female and my message to this caller is please do not marry her until she has paid off at least half of that debt by herself. I paid off my own student debt and it really made me appreciate how hard you have to work to pay off debt.
I was of the same opinion. Let him observe how she pays off part of the debt first. He seems like a nice guy, responsible, and she knows it. Let her show commitment..
My wife has an inferiority complex from never having gone to college. But she overlooked the shining fact that she's completely free of the indentured servitude of student loans.
@@bffoxjr You can omit *some* tech jobs but its a bit of a myth that high paying tech jobs will hire without a degree. it happens more than in most fields im sure but unless you are a wizard id recommend going to school for math or computer science.
DO NOT MARRY HER. TRUST ME, AS SOON AS SHE IS PREGNANT SHE IS GOING TO THROW THE "I WANT TO BE A STAY AT HOME" BS INTO THE EQUATION AND YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY FOR ALL HER DEBT. YES I AM SCREAMING AT YOU. SAVE YOURSELF SOME TROUBLE
Women who get into and get through vet school generally don't have this mindset. They've worked hard all their lives, and having kids never seems to stop them. I know 100s of vets who are wives and mothers - none of them are just stay-at-home moms.
@@drcatrinaking Not true. There is a doctor shortage in much of the country because female doctors never go back to being doctors after they have kids and decide to be moms instead or go back way later to being a doctor. And bing a Vet isn’t a massive difference as being a MD insofar as weird ethic is concerned. Not always the case that because you’re a doctor you won’t do that.
@@drcatrinaking Most of my family is in medicine and I've seen it first-hand. Even according to the AAMC, 40% of women physicians go part-time or leave medicine altogether within six years of completing their residencies, based on a University of Michigan study.
"Marry for money not for love, because when the lovin's all gone, the money's still there." Step grandpa to my mom circa 1979 She didnt take his advice. 😆
He seems like a very great man. If I were him though, I wouldn’t marry her until I actually see her roll up her sleeves and work like a maniac to work on paying the debt off.
But she's fantastic, didn't you hear him? haha I'm joking. For real, though - that marriage counseling also better discuss what happens when the talk of babies comes along, and they're sitting there with this mountain of debt. I can see it now - she starts popping out kids, and suddenly she...the one with the debt, wants to stay home with the kids.
Continue dating a few more years and see how she handles the mess she's in. If they marry and work like dogs they won't see each other much anyway. Put marriage off.
This would be a deal breaker for me. She is beyond irresponsible with money. Chances are they get married, payoff the debt, and she will be gone down the road.
He could find out if this woman loves him by simply saying he won't marry her until she pays off her debt. But he sounds like a lovesick puppy who doesn't want to know the truth.
Never cared to marry a rich guy, but made sure my husband had no debt before we got engaged. Love should be priceless, but your marriage won’t be that great if you’re 350K in the hole and struggling to pay it off. Even if there’s a solid plan in place to pay it off in 15-20 years, you won’t be happy that your peers are buying houses and having kids, yet you’re stuck paying off massive debt because you CHOSE a partner with this much debt.
even worse, you CHOSE a partner who's that stupid / irresponsible / [enter your preferred adjective] to rack up student debt in the amount for which you could get a HOUSE. as a woman, I'd run far. at the very least, I'd be holding off the wedding until the other person is debt-free. in this case though, I think they're polar opposites and too far from each other finance-wise. he's a diligent hard-working saver, she's a spender from what we've seen so far. NOPE
I would NEVER expect my future husband to take on my debt like that. To me, THAT is the red flag. It's entitlement, and a major character flaw. I'd feel guilty asf draining his savings, and exploiting his hard work like that. RUNNNN.
@@lusfit6903 combined account for monthly household expense purposes. If she is working, she should be paying her student loan debt, income based at least. If she isn't working, lets say a stay at home mom, do income based payments and file taxes seperatley. There's no way I am paying someone else's debt especially if they aren't working. Her names on the loan, not yours, you have no obligation to pay unless you refinance into your name.
@@run4cmt well you're the exception and not the rule, I got married in 2020 and my wife is still upset till today that we had a small wedding, because of the pandemic, still wants a big party, and I say no cos I refuse to go into dept for a party, I'll give her the world IF I could afford it, I love my wife but she's a woman and women like the nice things in life and would rather get it without working for it
She will be making a lot more money than him. More than likely she would be paying alimony; not him. He will never be obligated to pay her student loan debt. It is a premarital debt.
@@jocarson5310 That is assuming she out earn him continuously. She may hustle till the debt is gone, pop out a few kids, and while they are small, work significantly less. Making him the breadwinner. 7-10 years later and, poof, divorce the dude collect the kids, child support, alimony & the house. Happens every day.
Same here, I'm an RN and made more than the Vet I dated. I went to a community college for my RN and the hospital that hired me paid for my bachelor degree. My RN cost $7K for the associate degree, the Vet was still in for over $200K in student loans. Plus I work three 12 hour shifts a week.
I never thought I'd see the day when Dave was this rational towards marrying a woman with debt. They need professional advisors to work through this. Financial planner, pre-marriage counseling, ongoing couple's therapy... A practical military man in logistics will start to crunch the numbers, start calculating cost performance, and value. This is certain to fail without a plan.
Stop with the gender stuff, just look at people as individuals. I get that others like Dave might be bias but it doesn't do anyone any good for you to be obsessed and preoccupied by gender inequality.
It happens. I know from personal experience. I was worth 300k before I managed to get a date with a girl. Very dangerous position for a man to be in...
RUN brother! This mess will take years to get fixed and there is a very good chance she might divorce you after the debt is paid off! The stakes are too high man.
Only would marry her with a pre nuptial. Lay out their starting positions and split the gains down the middle. That way if she bails she will have to even things up.
Most don't "stick the landing" like Joseph did. Statistically and anecdotally, the caller marries this woman his chances of catastrophic failure and drama are high.
If they are already living together why marry all marriage does is make each other responsible for the others actions including their debt. They can have a little wedding ceremony but don’t get the certificate from the courthouse that way the if she decides to be a stay at home mom the debt collectors won’t be able to touch his savings.
Rose colored glasses. They want to believe they've found a girl who is "different" or "special". She may very well be but you don't know that until you've tried and why take the risk when there's better options out there. Love makes people blind.
Becoming an attorney or a doctor in the past was a guarantee to financial success in previous generations. But in today's day it is a quite risky investment to go for. Many attorneys and doctors struggle to pay their debts.
I’m in one of those fields and in my 30s I make about 700-800k a year and paid off my 250k student loans. It was a good career choice and the initial debt was worth it.
My vet school made it very clear that if you think you're going to make a lot of money that you're in the wrong profession. They push getting board certified so that we can get into the $200k-$300k range. Outside of that we're told to expect $70k-$90k.
Of course he can marry her that debt is nothing compared to their potential career earnings and wealth that they can build. They need to rent for a few years or buy a small Mortgage house and pay that all of before moving to a nicer house. It would be different if she had that debt and was a Nurse or school teacher.
"ir you wanted that why expend so obscene amount of money on a degree You don't want to use?" That would be me, I supose that is one of the reasons I remain single, blunt as a brick.
@@michaelb.8953 A lot of women would. I'm a working mom and I am so sick of women coming into marriage with student loan debt and then pulling the SAHM card. Ridiculous.
Chiropractor here. In literally the same boat. Worst decision in my life was getting into this profession. Every day I like being pinned against the wall
I would advise him to only marry after she pays this off. Live together maybe, with finances completely separate. That’s what I would do and I’m a woman.
@@Dis_is_fine once you're common law married, you have to go through the divorce process. Most states have certain requirements to be considered common law married. Just because you live together doesn't automatically make you married, at least here in Texas.
I wouldn’t recommend running with the little bit of information he shared. My wife had $250k in student loan debt (medical school) when we got married (2014) We were able to build a house ($400k), buy a vacation/rental property ($250k) and just became 100% COMPLETELY out of debt June 25th 2021!! IT IS POSSIBLE. It’s going to depend on them as a team. We grew up with nothing and know what it’s like and neither one of us want to be there again.
Run sir RUN !!!! Veterinarians DO NOT make that much money, unless your a veterinarian that goes into residency and specializes in orthopedic surgery, oncology or pathology, most Vet Clinics these days are owned by corporate like Banfield, and she’s looking at her most earned under 80k . You HAVE NO idea just how badly veterinarians are paid, not to mention the very high burn out rates, and the constant shilling of vaccines and other things , she will be pulling teeth just to scrape by as a vet. Trust me on this one.
The wife and I both went to state schools. We both received business degrees and graduated with no dept.. We make a little less than $400k. There’s no need to take on student loan debt to get a good job.
No one tells you that when you’re 18 looking to go to school. I wish someone would have told me or that I was wise enough to look at all my options when I was 18 but what’s done is done
@@TheSwissChalet Pharmacy school is at least $100K a year. Dental school is like $200K. My sister graduated debt-free from pharmacy school because my parents helped pay for it. My wife graduated with $120K because her parents couldn’t. No one is graduating with these degrees debt-free unless they have help or scholarships.
Play it safe brother. Wait till she pays her debt first and when she’s done paying it, if you guys still loves each other, then marry her. Some women get bored easily and can change their minds at any time. Especially when her significant other is away for long periods of time.
Unfortunately, nowadays, if you marry a doctor of any sort they will be bringing in $150K minimum in student loans. Most doctors I know have about $300K-350K+. And salaries are lowering in comparison.
She needs to pay that student debt off before you sign the marriage certificate. If that takes her so long that you want to break up and find another girlfriend, that is OK as well. Don't be a SIMP to this veterinarian that is so far into debt that she needs captain saveaho to rescue her from her own decisions. You don't want to start a marriage this far into the negatives that it is very easy to blame each other and be at each other's throats and have a very high high chance of divorce. Don't set your self up for failure. A hot chic that works as a cashier with no debt is better than this.
Women can be convinced to work if they can get something out of it. My wife wanted to be a stay at home mom until she saw the house and school district we would get if she kept working. If you're telling her she has to work 24/7 to put all the money into her student loans, and she didn't care enough about it to avoid that trap in the first place, it ain't gonna happen. RUN.
Exactly 💯 .... pretty soon after the wedding she's going to want a house in the suburbs, flash SUV etc. If she was budget conscious she'd not have racked up that kind of debt
Some of the best advice I ever read: "If you want to be a stay-at-home mother, marry someone who has the capacity and drive to make that kind of money. It's not fair to marry someone with a low-paying profession he loves and then resent him because you're not vacationing in Europe every other year." I never wanted kids, but people routinely think the above is a dreadful outlook. This guy should put off 'the next step' until he sees what she's made of, and you know what? IF she was moving heaven and earth to pay this off, he wouldn't have called and asked for advice.
If you want a women's respect, stand firm on your morals and principles. If you don't want to pay her debt but still want to have a relationship, you must communicate that. This way she knows to keep her eye out for a savior type. If you approach anyone's problems harder than they are approaching it themselves, YOU are actually the problem. Get out of the way and continue to live your debt free life and meet a debt free woman.
Meeting a God fearing, pretty, reasonable, intelligent, unselfish, modest, respectful, and debt free woman is dang near impossible these days. That’s a unicorn we’re searching for.
She's looking for someone to pay off her student loans for her. She needs to establish herself in her career and an attitude towards paying down that debt. You're not buying a house until those student loans are gone. She's a walking disaster. You're a military person who is going to be deployed while she's home by herself. Give a few years working in her field making a huge dent on that debt before you sign off on her. Never put your name on her student loans. If you get divorced, her student loans are hers. They don't get split in a divorce.
finally...dave gives some good 2021 relationship advice haha the days of traditional marriages are looong gone. this dude needs to make sure he protects himself, nothing wrong with him being very cautious
The instant she starts making as much as the guy, it's divorce. He's not the risk, she is. She got herself into this mess in the first place. Why isn't she calling in?
The cost of vet school is why I didn't go to vet school when it used to be my dream. I have $20k of school debt now still, but boy is that much better than $350k.
Rent is at an all time high. In tampa my apt. in 2013 was 700. It now rents for nearly $1400. This is everywhere nearly from what I can tell. Forget the 30% of income towards rent - it's more like 40% and up! If he can he should pay rent to his parents on the CHEAP ... stay there and then use THAT money to buy a house. Wife needs to work.
Yes I don’t have any shame living at home, I’m going to live at home for as long as I can and I don’t give a dam what anyone else says or thinks, I won’t get married until the laws change so I don’t screwed by divorce, alimony, and child support, I won’t get into debt or get myself into trouble because I took the time to educate myself.
Average veterinarian salary is $125k. Her debt load is absurd for that career. You’re gonna be paying this for at least another decade. Particularly when kids come along, you buy a house, cars. You might be stuck with this till 40. Just being realistic.
I was a school counselor for 12 years and I strongly counseled student to have debt more than 100 thousand in debt! I work pro bono with clients to help them dig out if a mess like this. It is unacceptable to me that we allow students to take this debt on. With that said, I strongly advised my daughter to ask that college debt question on the 1st and/or second date! I commend this gentleman for his willingness to accept the challenge! Best of luck to them both!
This the first girl to give 😺 to this guy and he doesn't wanna lose her. She runs the relationship based on his tone of voice. She getting the better end of the deal because he's gonna do whatever to pay her debt
Multiple red flags: She had much more debt, will make more money, if she doesn’t already, and he is good with money! She found a mark. I want to him to call back in five years for an update.
I’m sorry but I would wait for at least a year and see how hard she starts tackling her debt. If she’s dedicated and goes all in then she might be worth taking the risk, otherwise, nope.
After spending the next 10-12 years helping her pay off her debt, she will likely divorce him or he will be trapped in a sexless marriage because she decided they speak different love languages or some other nonsensical reason. Modern women are a bad investment. Run brother.
@@nicolab2075 True but many of those people are older and from a different generation. Modern women are not like our grandmothers. I advise this man to pump/dump the American chic, save/invest his money for himself, move to Latin America/Asia, and look for a woman who has the values of past generations.
Not a good financial move. Because; you graduate veterans school…. You have to start a business and build a clientele. So; she won’t be making “decent “ money for another 2-5 years. And her debt will be her school loans + the cost of starting her business. Or she joins someone’s veterinarian group and her starting salary is about $80k/ year (minimum). And at this rate… as Dave says… the math just doesn’t add up…
Nix the guesswork and scrolling. We’ll connect you with investment pros we trust: bit.ly/3hc6Pgt
MY ADVISE IS GET A NEW GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 stress stress....
Why didn't these two tell the caller to WAIT a couple of years to see if his girlfriend was serious about working hard? She should be able to pay off $100K in a year. (In fact, Dave never tells people to wait / pause a couple of years on getting married and I've always wondered why.)
As a female, I would not marry her with that much debt. He's in a good position to walk away or just hold off the wedding. No way. This is very much an early sign to be careful.
As a male, I’d start with a test. Caller, if you are reading this, do you have a garden hose? Oh, and a golf ball?
The fact that another female downvotes this is enough for me run.
Doug Ales wins the internet.
@@DougAlesUSA and if she won’t do it out of love and pure attraction then it’s still not worth it brother. That’s still a simp move.
He should make her pay all of it.
We held off on getting married until both of our debt was paid off. Paid cash for the wedding. Started off marriage debt free with our emergency fund in place. Best decision we made.
Love this!
This is what I would do if I was the caller, if she's really focused on getting out of debt
A canoe works better when both riders are paddling in the same direction.
Now that’s how y’all stay together.
If people followed this advice some would never get married. You don't need to have a wedding to get married if the hold up was you wanted to pay cash for the wedding
I’m a female and my message to this caller is please do not marry her until she has paid off at least half of that debt by herself. I paid off my own student debt and it really made me appreciate how hard you have to work to pay off debt.
💯
I was of the same opinion. Let him observe how she pays off part of the debt first. He seems like a nice guy, responsible, and she knows it. Let her show commitment..
Half ? How about all of it?
@@thelookout5802 correct. She needs to show him she's committed to make their family successful.
Wait till she gets pregnant. You know what is going to happen then.
My wife has an inferiority complex from never having gone to college. But she overlooked the shining fact that she's completely free of the indentured servitude of student loans.
College is one of the biggest scams in this country except for the 30% of jobs that actually need degrees.
@@TheRealEdStoner mostly STEM, business, and law. You can even omit some tech jobs.
Run bro
@@bffoxjr You can omit *some* tech jobs but its a bit of a myth that high paying tech jobs will hire without a degree. it happens more than in most fields im sure but unless you are a wizard id recommend going to school for math or computer science.
Best thing that could happen to her, many of us regret school!
DO NOT MARRY HER. TRUST ME, AS SOON AS SHE IS PREGNANT SHE IS GOING TO THROW THE "I WANT TO BE A STAY AT HOME" BS INTO THE EQUATION AND YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY FOR ALL HER DEBT. YES I AM SCREAMING AT YOU. SAVE YOURSELF SOME TROUBLE
I know a girl who did the same thing with 70-100K debt for her Masters. Worked 2-years~, married, and now planning to stay at home with her 1st kid.
Women who get into and get through vet school generally don't have this mindset. They've worked hard all their lives, and having kids never seems to stop them. I know 100s of vets who are wives and mothers - none of them are just stay-at-home moms.
@@drcatrinaking
Not true. There is a doctor shortage in much of the country because female doctors never go back to being doctors after they have kids and decide to be moms instead or go back way later to being a doctor. And bing a Vet isn’t a massive difference as being a MD insofar as weird ethic is concerned. Not always the case that because you’re a doctor you won’t do that.
@@thehylander266 You literally just made that up. What evidence do you have to support your assertion?
@@drcatrinaking Most of my family is in medicine and I've seen it first-hand. Even according to the AAMC, 40% of women physicians go part-time or leave medicine altogether within six years of completing their residencies, based on a University of Michigan study.
This man is LITERALLY walking into a burning 🔥 building smiling
😂😂😂
No he is “literally” not.
No he’s not.. if she hunkers down this will go away in 3-5 years…
Simp hall of fame is calling his name!
Could be lucrative if they pay it off early.
I'd hate to have worked that hard, saved up a nice little cushion, and end up throwing it all at such a large debt that isn't mine. Sheesh!
If you get married, that is your debt.
@@Q.b.9378 I'm an advocate for combined finances in marriage, debt included. Doesn't change my sentiment, though! It is a daunting task!
She would have to be a 10
@@trancendental5373 The fact that she was capable of going that far into debt wouldn't make her a 10 to me.
Military guys always mess up in this fashion . I seen it over and over again !
"When poverty walks through the door, love flies out the window."
- My Nana, circa 1995
"Marry for money not for love, because when the lovin's all gone, the money's still there."
Step grandpa to my mom circa 1979
She didnt take his advice. 😆
Your nana was anti-poor?
@@MartinLabuschin how could you come to that conclusion?
@@ErwinSchrodinger64 I read the comment.
@@MartinLabuschin stop being offended
Don’t go into marriage paying someone else’s debt. Never do this. Ever.
Right
He seems like a very great man. If I were him though, I wouldn’t marry her until I actually see her roll up her sleeves and work like a maniac to work on paying the debt off.
Exactly this
🙌🏽🙌🏽👏🏽
But she's fantastic, didn't you hear him? haha I'm joking.
For real, though - that marriage counseling also better discuss what happens when the talk of babies comes along, and they're sitting there with this mountain of debt. I can see it now - she starts popping out kids, and suddenly she...the one with the debt, wants to stay home with the kids.
Yep
i love your hair. 😍
Finally Dave told the man to run if she’s not gonna pay it
Dave is kinda of a simp sometimes
Yeah finally! He usually tell men and women different things in these cases...
Female customers won't like that.
Cause he understands the magnitude of that debt. If it was 150k he would have told him to power thur it without hesitation
@@richthepup yeah o_o that’s a freaking mortgage but super high interest
350k=no marriage
😂😂😂
Exactly
Continue dating a few more years and see how she handles the mess she's in. If they marry and work like dogs they won't see each other much anyway. Put marriage off.
@@jeorgedavid3239 I won’t be getting married anyway even if someone had $0 debt, it’s a bad deal for men in this day in age
👍👍👍
Imagine her rolling up her sleeves and divorcing him after its been paid off
Wouldn't be the first time I have seen it
That is the big risk. Would she really be looking at this guy if she was debt free? Often the answer is no.
I know girls who did that in the medical field. The caller needs to wait to get married!
Imagine? That is SOP!
That's disgusting. I hope there's a god in that instance.
This would be a deal breaker for me. She is beyond irresponsible with money. Chances are they get married, payoff the debt, and she will be gone down the road.
NEVER clean up someone elses mess. It's not your responsibility. This man needs to run.
Your jealous that you couldn't find a guy so awesome
@@dunkinmonke1380the guy is awesome for adopting 350kbin debt?😂
@@dunkinmonke1380are you okay? You want to live a hell life?
I have broken up with 2 separate women who were in $200k+ in debt. Hell no I would not deal with that nonsense
He can stay, he just needs to see that she will do the work!
No marriage until then, because as soon as the babies come, that's it!
This guy is a savings rockstar. He is going to get crushed by this other persons debt. I hope he runs away!
u cant fix beta
He’s simpin hard
This guy needs to get red pilled quick and call off the wedding.
He could find out if this woman loves him by simply saying he won't marry her until she pays off her debt. But he sounds like a lovesick puppy who doesn't want to know the truth.
The 🐱 is to good he won't run away 🤣
Never cared to marry a rich guy, but made sure my husband had no debt before we got engaged. Love should be priceless, but your marriage won’t be that great if you’re 350K in the hole and struggling to pay it off. Even if there’s a solid plan in place to pay it off in 15-20 years, you won’t be happy that your peers are buying houses and having kids, yet you’re stuck paying off massive debt because you CHOSE a partner with this much debt.
Teens Nicole your smart.
Agree 100%. He's walking into a financial dumpster fire.
Exactly. I want some to be debt free when getting married.
even worse, you CHOSE a partner who's that stupid / irresponsible / [enter your preferred adjective] to rack up student debt in the amount for which you could get a HOUSE. as a woman, I'd run far. at the very least, I'd be holding off the wedding until the other person is debt-free. in this case though, I think they're polar opposites and too far from each other finance-wise. he's a diligent hard-working saver, she's a spender from what we've seen so far. NOPE
You are a bot right?
No Vajaja is worth taking on 350k in debt
Exactly
😅😅😅😅
Ditto, but he sounds like he needs it 😂 he's defending her, and she'll break him using that vajay 😂
😂😂
I would NEVER expect my future husband to take on my debt like that. To me, THAT is the red flag. It's entitlement, and a major character flaw. I'd feel guilty asf draining his savings, and exploiting his hard work like that.
RUNNNN.
Never drain your retirement account for someone else’s debt… Ever.
Student loan debt, is that persons debt, not our debt.
Best advice ever dynamic wellness
Exactly
I agree! But then do you combine or separate bank accounts if you're married ?
@@lusfit6903 combined account for monthly household expense purposes. If she is working, she should be paying her student loan debt, income based at least. If she isn't working, lets say a stay at home mom, do income based payments and file taxes seperatley. There's no way I am paying someone else's debt especially if they aren't working. Her names on the loan, not yours, you have no obligation to pay unless you refinance into your name.
@@lusfit6903 Have a combined account for household expenses and keep separate accounts for personal expenses and personal debt.
If you ever feel down or hopeless in your current situation, at least you’re not 350k in debt 🤣🤣🤣
At least I’m not $350k in student loan debt for someone else’s education. That’s not stupid... it’s stooooopid.
I concur!
So many people out there who appear well off on the surface but have hundreds of thousands in debt.
SO TRUE. :p
Unless you have inheritance.
If caller was a woman the call wouldn’t even be made, a decision would have been made on the 2nd date!
Bingo!! They look at your wallet first.
She has the debt of an MD without ever being able to make the salary of an MD
Vets make more than a lot of doctors
@@thekiaradanielle not likely
@@thekiaradanielle lol. Average vet salary is like $125k.
@@thekiaradanielle the average salary of a vet in pittsburgh is $97k which is way less than the average for a physician
@@ev1836 crazy, I bring in about $97k cleaning ducts in SoCal.
Don't marry. Choose a more suitable candidate. She didn't plan on her future properly.
Further, this isn't anti-poor. The lack of finance understanding is a mind-set. She obviously doesn't have it.
He is so Naive !!! Bless his heart !!
He's IN LOVE 💕 😍
He's a fool.
No he's just a badass
With that much debt, I hope they aren't planning to spend thousands on a fancy wedding as well.
A can of Spam and two forks.
I was wonder the same
Ofcos she wants a big wedding women don't care about reality all they want is the magic and rainbows
@@TobiHamed not all women. I never wanted a big wedding
@@run4cmt well you're the exception and not the rule, I got married in 2020 and my wife is still upset till today that we had a small wedding, because of the pandemic, still wants a big party, and I say no cos I refuse to go into dept for a party, I'll give her the world IF I could afford it, I love my wife but she's a woman and women like the nice things in life and would rather get it without working for it
Dave's right. You're walking into a divorce settlement that will ruin your entire life.
Exactly. This is a disaster.
She will be making a lot more money than him. More than likely she would be paying alimony; not him.
He will never be obligated to pay her student loan debt. It is a premarital debt.
@@jocarson5310 That is assuming she out earn him continuously. She may hustle till the debt is gone, pop out a few kids, and while they are small, work significantly less. Making him the breadwinner. 7-10 years later and, poof, divorce the dude collect the kids, child support, alimony & the house. Happens every day.
@@jocarson5310but if he spends years paying it off then it’s gone. Spousal support is only for people who can’t support themselves.
This dude needs to run.
Quick
Right? Plenty of fish in the sea.
Truer words have not been spoken.
I absolutely would not wed someone with a debt that large.
I love ramseys bluntness! He just gets right to the point, You cant get any better than that!
I dated a vet with over 200k in student loans. I ended that relationship pretty quick
Good call !
Ha ha 😂 🤣
Same here, I'm an RN and made more than the Vet I dated. I went to a community college for my RN and the hospital that hired me paid for my bachelor degree. My RN cost $7K for the associate degree, the Vet was still in for over $200K in student loans. Plus I work three 12 hour shifts a week.
Thank Goodness! That's probably one of the best decisions of your life I bet .
Sounds like they dodged a bullet
I never thought I'd see the day when Dave was this rational towards marrying a woman with debt.
They need professional advisors to work through this. Financial planner, pre-marriage counseling, ongoing couple's therapy...
A practical military man in logistics will start to crunch the numbers, start calculating cost performance, and value. This is certain to fail without a plan.
Dave has a soft spot for women
@@hiteshadhikari that’s the only thing I dislike about him
Stop with the gender stuff, just look at people as individuals. I get that others like Dave might be bias but it doesn't do anyone any good for you to be obsessed and preoccupied by gender inequality.
@@littleripper312 I guess you haven't listened to Dave for very long if you think I'm making this about gender....
@@littleripper312 oh the courts look at it gender wise, i can tell u that
No! Let her pay it off first, or get close to it, then marry.
Right, at least half of it. Demonstrate effort.
Yeah she needs to get a little over half paid off
Half paid off is still $175k. That is still too much for me to accept
Incredible that a guy so well put together financially can't see the warning signs flashing right in his face.
It happens. I know from personal experience. I was worth 300k before I managed to get a date with a girl. Very dangerous position for a man to be in...
If I were this guy, I would tell her to pay off a certain amount before we get married. That way he can see if she's serious about paying it off.
RUN brother! This mess will take years to get fixed and there is a very good chance she might divorce you after the debt is paid off! The stakes are too high man.
Only would marry her with a pre nuptial. Lay out their starting positions and split the gains down the middle. That way if she bails she will have to even things up.
Grasping for air as i hear this story.
@Joseph Wright sounds like you have had a BIG shovel!
Grasp that air my friend
*Gasping
@Joseph Wright You're smart to do the anti-Ramsey and invest in your 401s as well as paying down the student loans. Well done.
Most don't "stick the landing" like Joseph did. Statistically and anecdotally, the caller marries this woman his chances of catastrophic failure and drama are high.
Don’t marry her. That’s 350K for a vet.
Exactly
😅😅😅
If they are already living together why marry all marriage does is make each other responsible for the others actions including their debt. They can have a little wedding ceremony but don’t get the certificate from the courthouse that way the if she decides to be a stay at home mom the debt collectors won’t be able to touch his savings.
@@elijahbrown8675 they shouldn’t shack up if they’re married. That’s just childish. Be married or don’t be but don’t “play” house. Be adults.
How do men NOT hear about the horror stories of marrying/paying off debt just so the wife divorces?
Rose colored glasses. They want to believe they've found a girl who is "different" or "special". She may very well be but you don't know that until you've tried and why take the risk when there's better options out there. Love makes people blind.
@@Opethfeldt Marriage will open those same eyes.
I haven't heard these stories. But it sounds like something that probably does happen
Thinking with the wrong head.
Low self esteem.
Becoming an attorney or a doctor in the past was a guarantee to financial success in previous generations. But in today's day it is a quite risky investment to go for. Many attorneys and doctors struggle to pay their debts.
i agree, but they say most doctors don't make it through their internship, either, if i remember correctly.
I’m in one of those fields and in my 30s I make about 700-800k a year and paid off my 250k student loans. It was a good career choice and the initial debt was worth it.
@@morningmona I'm in law school as well.
My vet school made it very clear that if you think you're going to make a lot of money that you're in the wrong profession. They push getting board certified so that we can get into the $200k-$300k range. Outside of that we're told to expect $70k-$90k.
DONT MARRY HER DUDE
Of course he can marry her that debt is nothing compared to their potential career earnings and wealth that they can build.
They need to rent for a few years or buy a small Mortgage house and pay that all of before moving to a nicer house.
It would be different if she had that debt and was a Nurse or school teacher.
@@bighands69 they can wait until "potential career" has paid it off
@@bighands69
No man or woman should marry “potential” like that until that insane debt is paid off.
Ironclad prenuptial
@@bighands69 you sound dumb, other way around she wouldn’t marry him
350k student debt to become a vet? That is crazy
Not at all with the income generated from that it could mean a career wealthy of about $10 million.
Agreed but some of it is likely undergrad debt as well. It was probably 30-40k / year in undergrad and 40-55k / year for vet school.
@@bighands69
It could maybe and maybe not.
It’s remains crazy until that happens.
Medial field got these losers confused. They’re know realizing that they’re just WebMd analysts
They probably had pandas as lab animals.
Don’t have any kids until she’s payed off majority of the debt. Don’t let her use the “I wanna be a stay at home mom” excuse.
ALL of her debt.
It's that exact mentality that would give me pause moving forward. Not to say she would pull that, but some woman would.
Don't marry her till she pay it all off
"ir you wanted that why expend so obscene amount of money on a degree You don't want to use?" That would be me, I supose that is one of the reasons I remain single, blunt as a brick.
@@michaelb.8953 A lot of women would. I'm a working mom and I am so sick of women coming into marriage with student loan debt and then pulling the SAHM card. Ridiculous.
No no $350k in debt...........No way would I marry her.... unless she pays it off before we get married otherwise bye bye
Chiropractor here. In literally the same boat. Worst decision in my life was getting into this profession. Every day I like being pinned against the wall
DON'T MARRY HER! That's a giant red flag. How a person manages debt demonstrates how fiscally responsible they are. Clearly, she's not responsible.
Listen to Rodney, WALK AWAY!!! :)))
@@han1218 run
@@SlothnSteel don't walk, run :)))
Run!!! You can find something way better.
Jealous?
I'm not sure I'd marry anyone with $350k in debt. She paid a small fortune to become a vet. I'm surprised Dave advised him to run. 😄
I would advise him to only marry after she pays this off. Live together maybe, with finances completely separate. That’s what I would do and I’m a woman.
@Dementia Joe I thought common law was different than married?
@@Dis_is_fine once you're common law married, you have to go through the divorce process. Most states have certain requirements to be considered common law married. Just because you live together doesn't automatically make you married, at least here in Texas.
I wouldn’t recommend running with the little bit of information he shared. My wife had $250k in student loan debt (medical school) when we got married (2014) We were able to build a house ($400k), buy a vacation/rental property ($250k) and just became 100% COMPLETELY out of debt June 25th 2021!! IT IS POSSIBLE. It’s going to depend on them as a team. We grew up with nothing and know what it’s like and neither one of us want to be there again.
@@Dad-979 you basically confirmed what dave said man!
RUN DUDE RUN
Exactly head for the hills asap
Run sir RUN !!!! Veterinarians DO NOT make that much money, unless your a veterinarian that goes into residency and specializes in orthopedic surgery, oncology or pathology, most Vet Clinics these days are owned by corporate like Banfield, and she’s looking at her most earned under 80k .
You HAVE NO idea just how badly veterinarians are paid, not to mention the very high burn out rates, and the constant shilling of vaccines and other things , she will be pulling teeth just to scrape by as a vet.
Trust me on this one.
“I wanna have kids & stay home”
350k in loan debt
The wife and I both went to state schools. We both received business degrees and graduated with no dept.. We make a little less than $400k. There’s no need to take on student loan debt to get a good job.
not if you went to medical, pharmacy or dental school
She's a vet and went to professional school, it's different and very expensive. But yea her loan is too high even for vet school.
No one tells you that when you’re 18 looking to go to school. I wish someone would have told me or that I was wise enough to look at all my options when I was 18 but what’s done is done
@@user-es5jq6yy9l Not true. People do it regularly without debt.
@@TheSwissChalet Pharmacy school is at least $100K a year. Dental school is like $200K. My sister graduated debt-free from pharmacy school because my parents helped pay for it. My wife graduated with $120K because her parents couldn’t. No one is graduating with these degrees debt-free unless they have help or scholarships.
Y’all didn’t coach him on what happens if she decides to dump him after they pay down the debt lol
I was thinking the same thing, he's not her dream boat, he's her life boat
And she will absolutely have kids and scale back part time
Absolutely is a strong word for a rando internet stranger who doesn't know anything about their plans. Insufferable know-it-all
@@janelleg597 well that’s what women tend to do so 🤷🏾♂️
Agree!
No doubt
And then divorce him and take half of his stuff
Play it safe brother. Wait till she pays her debt first and when she’s done paying it, if you guys still loves each other, then marry her. Some women get bored easily and can change their minds at any time. Especially when her significant other is away for long periods of time.
Unfortunately, nowadays, if you marry a doctor of any sort they will be bringing in $150K minimum in student loans. Most doctors I know have about $300K-350K+. And salaries are lowering in comparison.
Your not debt free if you get married to this 350k bill smfh
You’re
That's how you know he has no clue what he's getting himself into. He's going from zero debt to 350K. The shock to his system would be insane.
@@fleurelise997 and if he gets divorced he’s really going to be in a lot of pain
She needs to pay that student debt off before you sign the marriage certificate. If that takes her so long that you want to break up and find another girlfriend, that is OK as well. Don't be a SIMP to this veterinarian that is so far into debt that she needs captain saveaho to rescue her from her own decisions. You don't want to start a marriage this far into the negatives that it is very easy to blame each other and be at each other's throats and have a very high high chance of divorce. Don't set your self up for failure. A hot chic that works as a cashier with no debt is better than this.
Agreed
Yep he sounds like a complete simp. Why get married? What benefit is he getting from the deal??
👏👏
@@garethsmith1436 None lol
Agreed!
Holy cow. 350. That's torture.
“Once you are in, you are in this together”… unless you attack it like Ramsey said, RUN AWAY
Bro, RUN and don’t look back!
Women can be convinced to work if they can get something out of it. My wife wanted to be a stay at home mom until she saw the house and school district we would get if she kept working. If you're telling her she has to work 24/7 to put all the money into her student loans, and she didn't care enough about it to avoid that trap in the first place, it ain't gonna happen. RUN.
Exactly 💯 .... pretty soon after the wedding she's going to want a house in the suburbs, flash SUV etc.
If she was budget conscious she'd not have racked up that kind of debt
Some of the best advice I ever read: "If you want to be a stay-at-home mother, marry someone who has the capacity and drive to make that kind of money. It's not fair to marry someone with a low-paying profession he loves and then resent him because you're not vacationing in Europe every other year."
I never wanted kids, but people routinely think the above is a dreadful outlook.
This guy should put off 'the next step' until he sees what she's made of, and you know what? IF she was moving heaven and earth to pay this off, he wouldn't have called and asked for advice.
If you want a women's respect, stand firm on your morals and principles. If you don't want to pay her debt but still want to have a relationship, you must communicate that. This way she knows to keep her eye out for a savior type. If you approach anyone's problems harder than they are approaching it themselves, YOU are actually the problem. Get out of the way and continue to live your debt free life and meet a debt free woman.
Meeting a God fearing, pretty, reasonable, intelligent, unselfish, modest, respectful, and debt free woman is dang near impossible these days. That’s a unicorn we’re searching for.
@@kendallwilliams9618 I have a friend for you Kendall! Lol
She's looking for someone to pay off her student loans for her. She needs to establish herself in her career and an attitude towards paying down that debt. You're not buying a house until those student loans are gone. She's a walking disaster. You're a military person who is going to be deployed while she's home by herself.
Give a few years working in her field making a huge dent on that debt before you sign off on her.
Never put your name on her student loans. If you get divorced, her student loans are hers. They don't get split in a divorce.
finally...dave gives some good 2021 relationship advice haha
the days of traditional marriages are looong gone. this dude needs to make sure he protects himself, nothing wrong with him being very cautious
The instant she starts making as much as the guy, it's divorce. He's not the risk, she is. She got herself into this mess in the first place. Why isn't she calling in?
Nail on the head there. She doesn't think it's a problem.
SELL THE GIRLFRIEND!!!!!
He will only get $40 back. 😅
Rick, best i can do is 1.00$ taking on all the risks here.
@@handleyobusiness 1cent. 🤣
Lol make her get her tubes tied
The cost of vet school is why I didn't go to vet school when it used to be my dream. I have $20k of school debt now still, but boy is that much better than $350k.
If it was your dream you could have joined the military and used that route
Simpin’ is dangerous business, man.
100% what he is. Caller is beta.
Let her pay it. He will marry her, help,her pay it off then she will dump him, or she will have her first kid then not want to work
Noone would touch that woman with a 10 foot pole. I wonder why this guy feels like he has to pay someone else's debt I don't know...
Rent is at an all time high. In tampa my apt. in 2013 was 700. It now rents for nearly $1400. This is everywhere nearly from what I can tell. Forget the 30% of income towards rent - it's more like 40% and up! If he can he should pay rent to his parents on the CHEAP ... stay there and then use THAT money to buy a house. Wife needs to work.
Looks like you also noticed the dollar is collapsing 👍🏻
I live in tampa too and can confirm! Also from Pittsburgh though like the caller. Pittsburgh rent isn’t too bad though.
Yes I don’t have any shame living at home, I’m going to live at home for as long as I can and I don’t give a dam what anyone else says or thinks, I won’t get married until the laws change so I don’t screwed by divorce, alimony, and child support, I won’t get into debt or get myself into trouble because I took the time to educate myself.
That is absolutely NUTS
Average veterinarian salary is $125k. Her debt load is absurd for that career. You’re gonna be paying this for at least another decade. Particularly when kids come along, you buy a house, cars. You might be stuck with this till 40. Just being realistic.
@Rich Casino Not sure--I just googled average vet salary :)
I was a school counselor for 12 years and I strongly counseled student to have debt more than 100 thousand in debt! I work pro bono with clients to help them dig out if a mess like this. It is unacceptable to me that we allow students to take this debt on. With that said, I strongly advised my daughter to ask that college debt question on the 1st and/or second date! I commend this gentleman for his willingness to accept the challenge! Best of luck to them both!
This the first girl to give 😺 to this guy and he doesn't wanna lose her. She runs the relationship based on his tone of voice. She getting the better end of the deal because he's gonna do whatever to pay her debt
Jealous?
@@dunkinmonke1380 🥱
What marriage!?!?
Multiple red flags: She had much more debt, will make more money, if she doesn’t already, and he is good with money! She found a mark. I want to him to call back in five years for an update.
Simpin' ain't easy, keep debts separate, PRENUP
Finally Dave was on the right side with his advice.
The other guy didn't. Simp alert.
Careful with the family courts, bro.
With 350k I can buy another wife
Let her clear atleast half of 350k first before marrying.
Exactly!
She need to pay it in full not half
My fiancé went to pharmacy school and He is in $300k in debt. No one has ever told me to run away from him.
The people here are miserable. If you are both equally yoked, you can attack the debt together and succeed.
You should run away from him...lol
@@Yandel21ableify explain why
@@Simplynieceee_ If your husband where to die, you would still have to pay his student loans. Student loans are unforgivable.
@@Yandel21ableify they are forgiven if the student loan holder dies.. unless private loans
I don't even have to listen and watch the video. Run broseph
I’m sorry but I would wait for at least a year and see how hard she starts tackling her debt. If she’s dedicated and goes all in then she might be worth taking the risk, otherwise, nope.
This is a warning to Him…RUN….RUN AWAY FROM HER!! Once he signs that marriage contract, he’s done for. Enough said.
After spending the next 10-12 years helping her pay off her debt, she will likely divorce him or he will be trapped in a sexless marriage because she decided they speak different love languages or some other nonsensical reason. Modern women are a bad investment. Run brother.
Salty man alert
@@TK-fm5ud Is the scenario I laid out more likely than not?
@@bigk2198 Likely if he's as salty as you.
Some people have supportive loving relationships
@@nicolab2075 True but many of those people are older and from a different generation. Modern women are not like our grandmothers. I advise this man to pump/dump the American chic, save/invest his money for himself, move to Latin America/Asia, and look for a woman who has the values of past generations.
@@bigk2198 You don't sound such a catch yourself - hope you're just trolling
As a woman I think she should pay at least half of it before marriage and never stop working once married. Thank God for good men like this one.
Don’t do it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not a good financial move. Because; you graduate veterans school…. You have to start a business and build a clientele. So; she won’t be making “decent “ money for another 2-5 years. And her debt will be her school loans + the cost of starting her business.
Or she joins someone’s veterinarian group and her starting salary is about $80k/ year (minimum). And at this rate… as Dave says… the math just doesn’t add up…
The word 'run' came to my mind as well.
I recently met a vet that was 45 and still paying off student loans. He thought he would be working until at least 70.
HUGE MISTAKE!!!! I would never marry into such a mess
As soon as she has kids, she's going decide that she's "too burned out" to keep working full time.
Run, don’t walk. That girl will ruin you.
Bad advice. I would tell that man to RUN. People make promises...Good intensions.
Yeah my buddy married a girl with $65k student loan debt. He's not paying on it, but neither is she.
A degree in veterinary medicine can not be $350000. That's is insane.
I'm guessing that it also includes her undergraduate degree.
Oh but it is, check the four year cost of private or out of state schools like Midwestern or UPenn, easily above $400k
Gosh. That is awful.
@@carolr7823 Plus all the cash she pulled out for Spring Breaks.
Yes, thank you for your service.
RUN!!!!! Don’t be stupid!