I Married $100,000 Worth Of Debt, Now I Have A BIG Problem!
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- Опубліковано 26 кві 2022
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She has him by the neck. Once he pays all her debt, she will most likely leave. When a woman is telling you to sell your family property that’s been held for 100 years, that’s a red flag
MAJOR! 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Once she found out what is worth she knew that was take care of her student debt plus more
U nailed it when u said HER debt
Yup. Dave and caller falling for it.
If she divorces him he will live with regret for the rest of his life
If I had a 130 year family farm I would DEFINITELY remember a conversation about selling. Something stinks.
i wouldn't have told her....imho....It slipped my mind...sorry, by bad...
@@davidwright873 if that’s something you wouldn’t tell your spouse maybe that’s not the person you should be marrying
HUGE red flag. You mean he doesn't have any nieces or nephews he could leave it to?
They are older and tend to forget. My husband has forgotten quite a few conversations we had. We are in our 60’s
OF COURSE. He never agreed to that
Never sell the family homestead. Find a nephew to leave it to.
Or if no worthwhile family, someone who will value it
Yeah. I find it hard to believe a family was established enough to pass down a property for 130 years, but now suddenly there is no family at all. This guy just wants to cash in.
Or niece
If he wants too. There may not be anyone in the family that wants to run a farm
There’s a sucker born every day. This guy is too old to be getting finessed like this. Man up and take control of your life bro.
Coworker of mine married an older man she was dating after he was diagnosed with cancer. Guess who got everything when he passed a year later. And it wasn’t the guys adult son
The land was inherited and is probably protected in a revocable trust. He can revoke the trust and sell it but then he has no protection and she can take half the cash. She can’t take half the land if it’s in a trust
Sell the farm. They have no children. Just enjoy the proceed and buy a new home you both lives in with cash.
There is, maybe even more.
I agree dump her
He sells his property, they buy property together, she files for divorce and takes it. gg ez
He buys the new property, Titled as Married Man, sole and separate property
And she signs a quit claim to the property at closing.
She keeps her $80K equity,
He can put her on a Joint Tenancy Title anytime.
Your first Rodeo?
This bossy woman wants this man to pay off her mortgage and all her debt with the money he gets from his land that was in his family for 130 years. That’s what’s really going on. She sounds disgusting.
Right
Right!!!
It's their mortgage and their debt and their land because THEY ARE MARRIED. That being said yes she's very bossy, he needs to stand his ground more.
she sounds like a nightmare
That’s who he choose lol… she going to use that and bid him goodbye…
This definitely sounds to be more of a marriage problem than a math problem.
Every call in this show that involves a married couple is a marriage problem
@@ClaxtonBay123 Yup. I should call up and tell them I am single and killing it financially. Get in an argument with nobody. Buy what I want, when I want to.
Sound more like they shouldn't have gotten married problem!
I see it as a female entitlement issue. Women want to marry a financial source more than anything.
I don't think marriage makes a pre-marital debt to one spouse obligates the other.
@@ClaxtonBay123 lol exactly
Poor Dan doesn’t have a finance problem, he has a gold digger problem.
She spent like she was in Congress and then found a bailout in the form of a new boyfriend.
She bamboozled him into selling his family’s legacy to clean up her mess. Shameful!
Please listen to this segment again. Her debt is the MORTGAGE. His mortgage may have been equal but he sold his house and he's been sucking off of her, living in her house while they still have not moved forward to own a joint home.
She is pressuring you to sell the family farm. What is next? Don't do it.
I've listened to Dave R since i was is HS in the late 90's.
Still completely debt free and happy :).
💪💪
Nice
Good job!
Are you millionaire?
Same and I’ve never listened to him 🤯🤯
Dan let me be blunt. She is hustling you. This is one time you should cut your losses and move on. You would definitely know a conversation of something this important. Kids or no kids, you should pass it on to another family member.
What do you mean cut your losses? If he divorces her, she is entitled to half the farm.
@@pneron2032 Incorrect. The inherited property would not be split in a divorce because it's sole and separate from marital property. Once he sells it the cash hits the family bank account, it becomes marital property and she would have access to it in a divorce. That's her game, she wants access to that money so she can leave him and take half.
I know a idiot 22 year old who married some chick. 2 years later wants to divorce and take his house that he built himself. She is an electrician apprentice. She has nothing. And the sap was going to let her before his dad stepped in and said you pay half. Marriage is just a wealth transfer program from men to women these days.
Sorry but Dan seems totally clueless. Easy to blame her, but listen to this guy. He sounds like she is a business partner. He says he "married 100 thousand of debt". He is weird. And he knew this beforehand.
@@danielrn133Why would we be okay with him being taken advantage of? Because he’s a man? He’s clearly clueless.
She’s gaslighting him, severe ALL ties with her because she is going to take it ALL
Haller we want prenup
This guy is a wishy washy mess
Sean - are you kidding?! How arrogant are you to assume something this sensational. There was nothing in this clip that infers "gaslighting".
Go back and listen again - your judgement call is bogus - no merit at all!
can yall stop misusing psych terms you don’t understand? thanks
Poor guy got duped just before retirement...
He's sprung. Poor guy.
Called a grey divorce.
@@djpuplex 👍🏽 yep
Dude needs a Red pill suppository
@@BuckI2Bdad forget that......give it to him in an IV
My wife and I married each other … Great opening line!! 😂😂😂
The family farmland is currently $300K worth of sole and separate property. Selling the farmland and buying house together gives the wife access to half of that $300K in a divorce. Better be sure you're going to stay together.
He buys the new property, Titled as Married Man, sole and separate property
And she signs a quit claim to the property at closing.
@@aolvaar8792 except she won’t sign…..
@@stuartclubb4302
what a bargain, walk away from the $1000 earnest money and Her.
@@stuartclubb4302 Right, and why would she?
@@BrianW211 My wife did, Because "It is not my house"
Years later, I had her accept the title as Community property.
So if I died, it would stay with her.
When she get mad at me, "your House"
I remind her "our House"
If you haven't been married by the time you reached this guy's age, don't do it. As a matter of fact don't do it at all
That's scary
@@xiomaragomez6649 whats scary?
VERY well said!
@@dextermorgan4172 MARRIAGE is scary ( DON'T do it! )
You got that right buddy ,
Poor guy. He's a sweetheart and should NEVER have married this lady. What's the benefit for him?
a warm body to sleep next to, that's it.
@@paulchakola7372 that's replaceable if emotional distance builds up.
@@paulchakola7372 He already had that.
Zero benefit. No children and she’s from the same country so he doesn’t get the luxury of getting a marriage visa in a cheaper country.
It's a tale as old as time. Stupid men that let the coochie distort their sense of reality.
Remembering conversations differently? Giving in to pacify because she has a strong personality? Dude! Run! If you can. Be prepared for her to ruin you. Think, Depp and Heard.
Yeah, he can't run...he's already married.
@@pattyajones only a woman will say this cos marriage is the perfect trap
Sounds like it's just mortgage though.
@@jdtreharne Maybe. But the mortgage is on her house. And the deal was they each sell their property and purchase a new home. He's already sold his house and now she's insistent he sell his family property. A narcissist will get rid of everything that belongs to you while keeping what belongs to them.
@@Winnie-Kay um, I think I accidentally responded to the wrong comment, lol. I agree with everything you said.
What I don't get is this woman is telling him to sell his assets to pay her debts, when he has a plan to sort it out. She is demanding to do it NOW!
Hmmm.... perhaps she doesn't mean to be around too long. She might figure "let this sucker fix my life before I bail out."
That's why she married him....
She sounds evil to me. I hope he has family or a close friend to talk to him. Open his eyes 👀
Classic military strategy. Strike before your opponent can mount a defense.
@@nickysunshine8734how is it evil? he doesnt have kids. that farm isnt being passed on to anyone
The smirk on John’s face while he’s describing all this cracked me up.
Rave Damsey 🤣🤣🤣
He’s setting himself for ELITE level regret.
Once he sells the property, it becomes a gift to the marriage and its hers. If he does not sell it, it's premarital property - 100% his. I lost all my land and house in a divorce, it won't happen again.
Dated a long time and it was fine, once married already arguing about money? Run!
When you're dating it's fun and casual. Honestly I don't understand why they just don't live together if you're older your not starting a family so why go through all the hassle later in life.
@@bobslate7231 Problem with that is that many christians wouldn't agree with the living together scenario. That may not apply in this case, but I can see why some people wouldn't want to live together if they believe that it's against their religious beliefs to do so.
@@Sheryl777 I'm single I don't date not looking so I'm probably the wrong person to answer this anyway.
@@bobslate7231 I agree. Just very strange..
Bait and switch.
Dude, repeat after me: what she owes on the townhouse is not my debt. We did not sit together at a table with a Realtor and close on a townhouse.
if they're married it's his debt now too. I consider myself incredibly lucky to have married a woman with a positive net worth.
I get the sentiment here, but legally, it IS his debt
What if the complicated plan to sell the house is actually him not wanting to sell at all? P. S. Family worked for 130 years to keep the land and she's been in the picture how long? Yeah, No. How about no.
But he has no heirs and he's (probably) 60. Whether he intended to our not, his choice to live a life of singleness has caused this legacy to end
@@ikeacha4153 that is limited thinking regarding only direct decendents. We dont know if he has sisters or brothers, neices, cousins, etc that might be able to keep it in the family.
@@gcromer903 He said at the beginning that they had no family.
@@gcromer903 If he had siblings, he most likely couldn't sell on his own. From the sounds of it, it is just him. If that is the case, no issues selling, but if he has nieces, nephews, or cousins he could give them to, then no.
this guy seriously needs help , he's being manipulated big time . how does he not remember discussing selling 130 year old family estate ,I'll tell you why because he never said it she made it up and convinced him that he said it .
He would have held his ground more firmly if he didn't KNOW that he agreed to sell it. AND, he probably had a mortgage, too, which may have been equal to or greater than her $100,000 mortgage balance.
This poor guy is being gaslighted by his wife.
Sounds like a domineering, manipulative woman. There's a coworker in our office just like that. I've prayed to God for years to move her to a different building. but God never answered that prayer. Maybe to keep me reminded to not end up with a wife like that.
Ha! God works in mysterious ways 😭
🤣🤣
Yep, thank him for making sure she was your coworker and not your spouse :P Few things are as valuable as a good warning.
We've all worked with women like that. In my experience, they tire over time and quit. It's keeping your sanity while waiting for them to move on that's the hard part.
😅😂😂😂😂
Caller: "She has a powerful personality. "
Me. He's a wuss and lets her push him around.
Why she married him !!!!!
period
DON'T SELL THE FARM
Hope he had a prenup
Do NOT sell then commingle inherited property!!!
Sounds like she’s collecting cash and preparing to leave this relationship with a clean slate
New wife knows the value of transforming pre-marital assets into marital assets, especially when in a dual-property "equitable distribution" state like MO.
Yes, I was thinking This
he is fcked , he married her, he is not getting out of this
Bingo.
I was thinking this too. There is no way I would sell a pre marital asset to convert it into a marital asset.
Thought he said it was Kansas?
It’s not going to work dude. Walk away.
Sounds like she's gaslighting him. Don't placate her. Get out!
It does not sound like she's gaslighting him! They are married - had known each other for years - he probably really did say he'd sell the land since he has no heirs.
@@natnielsen8472 When she insists that he's had conversations he doesn't recall having, she's gaslighting him!
Guys you got to have all the hard conversations before you get married. That way if she doesn't like it she can leave and not cost you anything. This poor guy's story smells like a finesse!
He probably did she just changed the narrative.
Exactly!
If you can’t share a bathroom with your wife should you be married? 😂
For some people its a deal breaker. Want my own BR.
And if you can't share a bathroom, should you be sharing hundreds of thousands of dollars?
I am SO glad my wife and I discussed many of these things before tying the knot. If wasn't perfect, but it DID help down the line. Encouraged our kids to do this as well, and that seems to have made a big difference for them as well.
Pre marital counselling should be mandatory. The amount of divorces or just terrible marriage would probably drop by half.
LOL! They did discuss it. He said that he often just tells her what she wants to hear and then doesn’t remember it later.
Exactly. I was married about 35 years ago. We knew the worse about each other off the bat. Things have been nearly perfect.
Divorce this woman
Came here just to see who has the debt.
Woman = the man needs to man up and pay
Man = The man needs to man up and pay
She's telling him he said things he truly doesn't remember saying and has him questioning if he might have said it after all.... that's a classic sign of gaslighting people. Men can be gaslight too. She's gaslighting him.
Easy response to that is "If I did say that, I've changed my mind and I aint fucking selling!"
They've been in a relationship for years before marriage and this was never discussed. As a woman I don't feel I should take on anyone's debt nor should they take on mine. They should have stayed single and bought places near each other. If they choose to leave each other something, put it in writing.
Sounds like a plan. I know several couples, some married, some not who live by each other in their own home and are very content with the arrangement
@@fobbitguy True, I know a couple like that. Whatever works to keep the peace.
I just made pretty much the same comment.
Dave says that once you’re married, you also take on the other person’s debt.
@@spankynater4242 Dave is absolutely incorrect on this. Anyone who is carrying debt needs to be responsible for it individually unless it is acquired jointly. This guy needs to divorce this woman and move on with his life.
Sounds like he has been played and she will keep playing him. Why did he marry a person with this much debt?! He should : consult an attorney, dump hard and fast, and run.... No looking back. I hope he has a prenup.
in divorce debt is split too so he is most likely stuck with it
@Prey R It depends on the state (or country if outside the US). Different ones have different methods of splitting assets/debts in divorce.
@Prey R I wouldn't say "can't", the judge can do pretty much whatever he/she wants. But they usually don't except in specific situations.
she loves his land and the money that comes from it.
It sounds like she's manipulated him pretty good, and he will get taken to the cleaners and never retire.
A very American story.
I married a women who has a mortgage for a $100k and now I am $100k in debt. That is so stupid to think that way.
Honestly she has no right to tell him to sell his family property .that is his family farm.if a woman is demanding to sell stuff get divorce more than likely she is using you for money.
and if she divorce him she will be debt free
Two people in their 50s, no kids, getting married and fighting about some property. Oh boy.
Wasnt thinking
Sounds like the man is about to be scammed
When the caller was explaining this situation, John had a smile on his face, while Dave had a "not impressed" look on his face. lol
There is no reason to be impressed with this male caller. If you listen closely and do the math correctly, caller has only accumulated $30K more in financial assets than his wife, over decades of single life with no children to pay for. He has the audacity to complain about the $100K balance remaining on her townhouse mortgage and he doesn't have a bathroom all to himself. How is this a revelation to him when they dated for years? Wife did not pull any financial shenanigans on him. She provides shelter to him, not the other way around. Is it any wonder that Mr. Ramsey is not impressed with this caller?
@@jeromehenry4484 he sold his house after marriage
@@CE-vd2px What's your point? For a man in his late 50's/early 60's to only have accumulated $110K financial assets on his own is pathetic.
@@jeromehenry4484 Lol you aren't wrong about any of that. I just thought it was funny, and shows their different personalities.
This call is a wonderful example of why no one should get legally married. She is clearly manipulating this guy to improve her own financial situation. He will end up regretting losing the farm and his house.
Unfortunately the old adage is still true, no fool like an old fool. He should have never have got married and just stayed as partners.
Marriage has survivorship,
also, my wife gets retirement healthcare through my former employer,
saving ~$300K in future out of pocket costs.
He sounds like he is being railroaded by his new wife. Not a good way to start a marriage.
Prenups prevent issues with recollection. Can’t remember? Read the prenup
It's family land. You come from a farm family. You would have never agreed to that. She's looking for an immediate payout.....
Yeah but he doesn't have kids so it doesn't really matter honestly
Dave Ramsey’s long pause a kills me every time haha😂you just know somethin wrong
No way would I forego a property that generations of my ancestors live on. I am in the same boat; land my Great Grandfather, Grandfather and Father toiled on for many years. Blood sweat and tears were spent there, nobody would cause me to sell it. His wife is loaded with debt and selfish.
I hope this guy didn’t sell his property. I live and farm in western Kansas and can tell you when families sell land like this that cash usually just evaporates.
Yep. And every generation wonders when the property is someday going to be passed down to some bozo who doesn't care about it, and just cashes in.
Sounds like this property has found its bozo.
Never sell the farm if you can avoid it
What's the point in an old man keeping a farm?
@@dash4800 that always goes up in value
@@rochester3 but if you never sell it then why does it matter if it goes up in value. Its literally pointless
@@dash4800 great point
There are no heirs to inherit this piece of land. They can either sell and pool their monies together and purchase a new home, sell part of the land and build a home on the part they keep, or just hang on to it. Their choice - that simple!
This poor man is up to his eyeballs in issues! It’s going to cost him big time no matter what he does. She will control events and he will live with her decisions. Even if they divorce he will go away broke and paying alimony.
Its a safe bet that if the farm was with her family, she would not be so eager to sell and go all in with him. Its obvious he has the assets and she doesn't. I say, see a lawyer and find out what happens with the property if you divorce. You've already admitted she's demanding, you give in too much and she benefits from the relationship, not you.
Leave an open farm with land for a townhouse? makes sense.
When you start the conversation with that statement, it’s going to be a crazy story.
Go to a good attorney who can show you your actual options. Dave and his cohort as always take the emotional tack which further muddied the water. Probably not an easy seamless solution but listen to a professional and make the best decision
I would think he would remember offering to sell his family land
So, his assets ($110k + $300k) were around $410k, and hers ($180k - $100k) were around $80k.
Looks like the marriage benefitted her pretty well!
Him? Uhh, not so much.
His issue is that they seem detgermined to stay living in johnson County, Kansas... which is literally the most expensive county of the state in which to live. He can move to Miami county, just 30 miles to the south, and the housing costs and property taxes are HALF of where he is living now.
Correct. And they don’t have kids in school, so they can go to the Piper or Basehor area and get much more house and land for the price of JOCO.
@@KS_1995 My kids went to school in Basehor, I agree with you 100%
That area is blowing up now too. Quite a few borrowers are looking in the area. KCK is really going to start picking up.
@@KS_1995 There are tons of homes under 200K in Paola and Osawatomie
Guarantee its her choice and she's unwilling to compromise.
I would say don't sell that 130 year old house just to pay off her debt you can work together to pay it off but not use your property to pay all that off. That's ridiculous
“She has a powerful personality”
Dude grow a pair. You are a man. Tell her no and give the plan. She is pushing you around.
she sound more masculine than him
Shes a big time gaslighter. Trying to tell him how the conversation went and that he just doesnt remember it correctly. I think he would remember something that important.
No dude what are you doing. With a famine coming it is a horrible time to sell farmland. There is a reason land is expensive right now. You already have land to produce your own food
That's why I said he could sell it to me and my family. We'd work the land and never sell
Stay single. Lying through admission, moving the goal posts, blame shifting and changing/shaping the narrative is what the women do. She wants him to sell the property to get her part of it. Tell her no, she is playing you. Divorce her. Every man should watch Dave's videos like this disregard his advice when it's skewed. This women is using this guy like a 401k. He should read the "Manipulated Man" it would open his eyes.
I wish he asked their ages
This guy is going to get taken to the cleaners.
It's not just women. I completely agree with you fellas in this case
Marrying a woman with debt is an idiotic idea.
@@grannysue5670 Sadly there are a few men who comment on Dave's videos who do seem to think women are always the problem though. They never seem (at least that I've seen so far) to ever think anything is the man's fault. At least they haven't mentioned anything being the man's fault, so that's what I gather from their comments about how mistreated they are as men.
I enjoy Dave's facial expression and wisdom..applauded by Dr. J
She is using him
When people from the south complain about 200-300k homes being too expensive
*Cries in Canadian*
People in North Idaho are crying too. A falling apart dump in Coeur d’Alene costs more than 500k.
Spot on. Love the Dave and John combo.
Never marry debt
Good luck with that.
I love this show, wish we had something similar in the UK. Human interest, good advice and an insight into life in the USA. The wages shock me, but your cost of living is higher than ours, so I thought, then I looked into it and found it depends on what you are buying. Bank Holiday weekend here, been catching up on old shows!
So set up a UA-cam channel and start one.
the guy is being taken for a ride, he already married her, he is done for
Red Flags all over this story. The truth is she saw you as a mark and sunk her fangs in, now she just needs to accomplish her own goals to free herself from the hole shes been digging herself into for a long time. once your well runs dry dont be surprised if her so called love does to. Marriage isnt what is use to be and its been that way for a very long time.
" Live On Less Than You Make " Never make fun of someone because they drive a 14 year old vehicle because honestly you never know if that person is saving more and not getting in debt by buying deprecating assets like a Vehicle
Debt before marriage is NOT your debt
Sell it and enjoy the money, but dont pay her debt
Once he married her. Isnt her debt his debt?
@@AthenaLolita2 Not if the Title is: Unmarried woman, sole and separate property.
She had the town house prior to marriage.
If She was thinking the title is now: Joint Tenancy
Not what Dave teaches
@@ThatBinghamHikes who cares?
Someone is getting gaslighted
If you have no desire to have kids and you are old and fiancé ally secure, why get married? Why not be partners so you don’t get someone’s debt?
Or at least if he wanted to get married he could have married a much younger, cooperative, better looking woman. They love older men with money and he could have had a child with her too.
🤔 I think a Good DIVORCE ATTORNEY IS CHEAPER than this entire mess 🤷♂️
Is it not possible to build a house on that farm? Or is there a house already there that can be renovated?
Great thought!
This is a personal issue not a financial issue; he doesn’t want to sell the property but she’s essentially forcing his hand
Poor Rave Damsey, hope he and is wife have figured out how to come to mutual resolutions.
The conversation was probably not had. He’s being gaslit…. He needs to be careful and make sure he makes the wise decisions as the head of household and man… I’m a woman by the way…
Poor guy, got taken to the cleaners. Should have just kept her around, got what he needed out of her, and found a younger, better model. Men, go your own way.
This guy sounds like he has no concept of value. Her house should have equity. He didn't marry into debt, he married into equity. He could turn her place into a rental.
I'm in Johnson County KS. I've never heard anyone calling in from here.
Did he marry Amber Heard?
Learning that you shouldn’t have gotten married after your married
I think the lesson to be learned here is this, if you are getting close to retirement, have a house, also have a 300k farm, you don't get married.
The wife probably lied. ANYONE would remember saying they would sell a property.
Oh, my husband says things he doesn't remember all the time🤣🤣🤣
When there are big decisions to agree on like that setup a smartphone on a tripod and record the agreement together verbally. Then save it in your phone and you could also upload it to your own UA-cam channel and set the video to private.
Good grief. Why not just set up a cot in the bedroom for your attorney? No, the way to avoid this is to not marry a woman you know to be demanding, domineering and unreasonable.
Sounds like he married a bully who can't even manage her own finances.
Don't sell the farm because you don't want to wait for the bathroom
Do NOT marry anyone with that much debt NO matter how much you love them.