Friendship Red Flags & Addressing Your Assumptions About Us
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- Опубліковано 30 лип 2023
- Everything that we share on this podcast is and has been a teachable moment FOR US throughout life. Our faith, marriage & social media are wrapped into one. How do we balance the wisdom we’ve heard, lessons we’ve learned, things we’ve seen, experiences we’ve had? Our hope is that you would walk away with a piece of encouragement every Monday morning.
Listen:
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#ForUsPodcast
For I know the plans I have for you, “declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
hang with us here :)
instagram - @savannahjeanalexander & @joshuaxalexander
tiktok - @joshandsav
podcast - / stillforus
business inquires: JoshandSav@a3artistsagency.com
P.O Box 66 Clawson, MI 48017
I work a 9-5 and keep my personal life and work life separate. It doesn’t really cause any conflict because I don’t talk to any of my coworkers outside of work
Ri just standing in the back towards the end has me hollering 😂😂😂😂😂😂 she’s like “what’s dis?”
the cut to Ri's sleepy face 🤣
Right?! Her face was so cute 😂 😂
I love the podcast in the car! Keep ‘em coming!!
It’s crazy hearing you guys talking about how you parent your kids b/c we do very similar things with our girls. We have a 2 year old & 4 month old 😊
As a married woman who does work a more common job (not on social media) I personally think it’s kind of strange for your spouse to meet your coworkers unless if there’s like a Christmas party or work event of some sort where people are allowed to bring a plus one in which case I would bring my husband and introduce him. But I also only speak with my coworkers on a professional level, if someone is hanging out with their coworkers outside of work and trying to still keep them separate, then I could see where an issue may begin to form. Also I think some people take coworker relationships to an inappropriate level, like the subtle flirting or the “work wife” or “work husband”, etc. in which case they aren’t being true to their spouse and that would definitely cause huge issues with trust.
I would love to know more about y’all faith and both testimonies 😍
SAMEEE! Long awaited 😅
❤ I feel the same, I work a 9-5 and my co workers always ask me to go out for drinks and activities and I don’t have any issues with anyone, but I don’t want to mix the two, because I worry that situations that may happen outside of work could cross into our work environment…
I work 8-5 for superior Court and always keep my personal life separate. Even when I was working at a fast food place, still kept my personal life separate because anything can become a conflict of interest and I honestly never wanted people at work snooping on social media to see anything about me. I enjoy the work/life balance as well so the fact that you guys keep your families offline is amazing - going back to what you guys talked about even putting your children on social media is something they didn’t sign up for so I agree with y’all 100%.
I loveeee that you keep your influencer friendships private. i think it’s so authentic!
I work 9-5 at a bank 🙋🏻♀️ I love my coworkers and am not afraid to get personal sometimes. But like y’all said I feel like I can tell right away what type of person someone will be (or not be) to me. I know how important it is to not be too open with people. I truly value how I can go home and leave work, and my coworkers, at work!
I also own a home with my boyfriend and he has met two of my coworkers, but only the ones I’m comfortable with lol.
Love you guys, thanks for sharing!❤
Wow. This was a great podcast. I love that you guys are so genuine and authentic. The love that you have for each other shines through even in your "sticky" conversations where you dont agree😊 now thats love for real. You all are such a precious family and what you share on this platform is a blessing to so many people. I like that you both talk about giving yourselves and each other grace. The bible talks about being known by your fruits and doing things not just in words but deeds. Not only do yall speak of giving grace but you actually do it and it is the fruit of your relationship. Thats so beautiful. I can tell you both love the Lord and your love for Him shines through in how you treat each other and raise your dauggters. You all are such a beautiful family inside and out.
Keeping yall in prayer
🙏🏽💙💜💚💚🙏🏽
I have two kids, 16 months apart. My son is 9, daughter is 8. Let me tell you this. Terrible twos… easy. Threenagers… simple. 4&5…. 5&6…. 6&7….. near death experience. One will set the tone and the other will match the energy. If one gets punished the other becomes their counsel and I find myself on trial.
The best advice I ever got was always remember that even though they may be a lot alike. They are two different beings with two different spirits and love them, discipline them, and parent them according to the each of them. Done make it a group project.
I love your content. I could listen to you each kick it for hours.
Aww Savannah, I agree with Josh! You look better without the false eyelashes! You're naturally so beautiful
I'm loving the change of scenery! It's always such a vibe in the car with y'all 🥰❤
Early crew where you at? ❤❤❤❤
I love the car vibes
Love your content thx for putting out positivity 💛💛💛
"There's a gentle way to do discipline with your kids" - perfectly said, Savannah. I love to watch your podcasts because you two are so cute and have such interesting conversations. I think you have grown so much in the last years and have become such wonderful parents.
A smile, some more patience, giving attention, giving gifts can have such an enormous impact in how a child is raised and the way they feel - those are simple things but things which I also intend to use when I have kids, cause I know how a lack of patience, keeping distant or too restrict, or any type of criticism towards your kids can make them feel while growing-up - like anxiety, fear of social events, feeling of unworthiness.
Influencer or not, if you post something in a forced way, it is already not making sense but you two are always so genuine.
I work from 8 to 5, and I try to maintain a respectful but in majority a work related relationship with my co-workers. There may be conversation about personal life topics but usually doesn't go very beyond. If your job was a 8 to 5 job in an office or bank, I would say it would still be hard to meet your spouse co-workers even in marriage, in case one of the two doesn't hang out with their co-workers outside of work environment, and I think it is still okay.
I always wish that your family keeps being blessed. I am portuguese and always learn with you new english words.
I did a comment already but it was so long. I remember I didn’t have a sleepover until I was a teenager and my mom had to meet everyone in the house and she needed mom & dads number just in case she needed to call and check. My parents separated when I was 11 and my dad was on the east coast while we were on the west coast (Vegas) so my mom allowed me to have fun but now I realize why she had a tight grip with certain things. I snuck around a lot and would go to parties and would make it home safely but anything could’ve happened. My mom was probably worried sick when I never called or texted back. The good thing about you being a parent is you get to set your own boundaries with your children.
I haven’t even watched but I love love love the ambiance off the podcast being in the car lol please do more of them in the car 🤗
To me you don’t have to let anyone know who your friends with. To me that seems like “clout chasing” to announce who/where and posting where/what you’re doing. Y’all are authentic and I love your mom/sister cameos. ❤
Yay, it's my favorite podcast! I love you guys! ❤ I love the car scenery, by the way 😊
I literally yelled YAY when I saw that you guys uploaded! You guys always manage to brighten my day and put a smile on my face. Love you guys...God Bless!
We love you!!!
Love the change in scenery. Sav looks so pretty. I love her lashes 😍😍
I love listening to your podcast! MY FAVVVV CELEBS and yesss you guys are celebs!
Great podcast. Im glad yall know that what you guys share... is your preference.
Ive been married for 13 years, and neither myself nor spouse feel the need to meet each others coworkers or 'surface level" friends. In my OPINION, theres something about being careful to not be "invasive" that we appreciate in each other.
When Sav said oh okay I was like Josh go ahead man get your daughter hahaha her face does change when she means something. This was such a real video. I love the car vibes.
Sav you are so beautiful, naturally. Your eyelash extensions enhances and accentuates the beauty that already exists. Lashes look great on you, sometimes as women we have to choose what we like and what makes us feel good. 😊💜 Josh sees the beauty! 😍
The poddy in the car lowkey a vibeee and I’m looking forward to more 💕
I am a nurse and I try to keep my work life and home life separate. If I plan to hang out with a co worker outside of work my husband will meet them and come with us. My husband and I are always going out together unless it is a friend that we both know. If it is a member of the opposite sex, we never go without the other. We trust each other but neither one of us want to get into that situation that could cause the trust to break. Love y'alls videos! Can't wait to for the next one! 💕💕
Love your show and family. I enjoy listening to younger people and their take on the world today as well as their personal life.
As someone who worked almost all of my life as well as married and raised a family I found it at first hard to have friends at work. It was difficult to have a life outside of home while the kids were young. Once the kids got into their teens it was easier to have friendships at work. But , only one or two women stayed as true friends thru the years, the others were friendly associates . Once I retired I kept in touch with the two and literally dropped the others. I'm not much for big groups , whether socializing or in school as well as work. I prefer small intimate groups and gatherings. My personal closeness is very limited. No longer having a husband , I now confide in just one fried that I've had over 30 years. Things do change as one ages. My socializing was far greater when I was in my 20,s and 30s.
But, home life and work were definitely separate for al these years.
Sav, you look beautiful ❤ you two are the sweetest parents and love that you strive for a Godly marriage & relationship 😊🙏💖🙌
So I’m a little lost where you guys were trying to go with the convo. But I think I can make sense of it.
I work anywhere from 40+ hours a week. With my love life and work life I stick to “Work stays at work, home stays at home.” Therefore any issues or problems work may cause, is not to be brought home. If there’s problems at home, they are not to be brought to work.
As far as friendships, it’s complicated. You are basically at work more than home so you build a relationship with people and some may feel it’s more than a co worker relationship than I would. I have a hard time making friends with people from work because of my work ethic and I personally can’t be with friends with someone that is okay with being lazy or doing bare minimal because “it’s not my job description.” So it’s kind of what I see as influencers struggling with supporting each others content but also keeping their personal lives separated.
I think this is over complicating friendship. In a loving way, honestly! I think you always just wanna make sure someone is genuine no matter what they do for work. I see some influencers that hang out and are in one another’s videos and things. But that’s an understanding you establish as you become closer. And sometimes it just happens naturally and those are the best friendships. And Josh is right about the term gentle parenting in society. That’s why many people have unsubscribed to it. It’s not really gospel centered parenting or gospel focused. We are born sinners so it’s our duty as parents to guide and teach with a biblical approach. With the hair pulling, I’d try keeping it short and sweet. “We don’t pull hair because it hurts” then move on and maybe walk away or move away so she can’t pull it.
When I first joined my current job, yes professional separation without friends. But, after a year and role changes I created a friendship that we keep professional at work and she has met my fiancé. I think this is what josh was trying to get at haha
You both are the sweetest!❤
I agree - I have a lot of friends who are influencers and I am not in that career field currently and I don’t feel like I need to be to be their friend. I also feel like it’s refreshing to have friends in different fields. 😊
And to go off of Sav’s point about it not being natural to take selfies when you just meet - I agree. I could see how filming content with someone right when you meet them because you’re both influencers could make it confusing, like you think your friends but you’re actually coworkers and maybe even acting as friends for the content. I could see how it could feel inauthentic. Like if something where to happen is this friend here for me and do they have my back or is it just content and situational friendship?
Salam alaikum (peace be upon you) I completely agree with Sav take. You don’t need photos or be posting with eachother every minute or at all to have a good friend.
I work in my dad's business with him my brother uncle and childhood bsf. So this can't really relate to me bc there is no separation between the 2 and it's crazy difficult. I'm just here to say I love what yall are doing like this I'm not watching to see your family or friends I watch to see yall and listen to yalls opinions and look up to your relationship and try to figure out how to have my relationship head in the same direction with God and communication wise together bc I think yall have an amazingly healthy relationship and ours is healthy but sometimes it's like we get crazy and just need a minute to scream at the world and a lot of times it comes out towards each other but other than that we understand each other and communicate extremely well and I've loved yall for yearssssss
Excited for this episode!
Josh genuine friends accept you for who you are not what they can gain from being associated with you. They respect you and challenge you to be your best self. They accept you views which may not align with theirs but they respect them because they respect and value you.
Hey Josh and Sav!!! I don't know why but something about the car podcasts helps my attention span lol. I love ittt!!!! Also, could you talk about how to be intentional about learning your partner in a young marriage? Also, can you talk about advice people gave you before you got married that you realized was true or untrue for you? Thank you yall
Love this !!!
Omg you guys responded! Been watching y'all since high school and now I'm graduating college this year in new Orleans 🎉. Thanks for your diligence. Learning what a loving kingdom' marriage looks like through you guys. For the discouraged heart: "Do not grow weary in well doing for you will reap a harvest if you faint not". -Galatians 6:9
Follow through is the key in parenting if you say you’re going to do something do it always
I find a tonal change and an expression on yourface while keeping eye contact with them helps them understand its a '"no no" for whatever it is. For hair pulling, my husband and I be sure to say gentle and when our son yanks and laughs we take his hand off look him in the eye and tell him "no" but ensure he sees our face and hears us.
The podcast is in the car today. I feel like we are going to have an amazing car hang with you guys...
There is this one person I love and I enjoy doing car hangs with them too. It's the best❤
Also: I am seated in the q at the hospital watching this now. 😢
Love Josh and Sav and how y’all are making life work. I feel like people need to respect you and your privacy. You should be allowed a personal and private social media accounts.
There is a definite line between gentle parenting and no parenting.
You need to speak in a stern manner with assertive attitude. I will speak to my child and joke with my son and we are so close , however he respects me as his mom ❤
You can always make a corner of your studio with like seats looking like a car and a stop sign, stop light hanging up and other cool stuff.
You guys are the best
My daddy always taught me keep your work life separate from your personal life. Don’t hang out with coworkers don’t talk about your personal life with coworkers or family. Also, never bring your work home. learn how to separate work life from home life.
I love this Podcast, the car vibe was great for me, also I am not one of those people who hangs out or talk to my co-workers. I prefer to keep the two separate, some of my wife's co-workers think that I am being mean, but my wife always says that you do not know my husband he is one of the nicest people you will ever meet but he just does not mix the two.
I work at a vet clinic and take my daughter to work so my coworkers are like little aunties. We hang out all the time and do dinners and activities together. But I think it’s only like that because my baby has to come with me and the girls at work see her more than her dad who works full time as well with an hour of travel time either way to work.
The girls love her and so we have more of a “family” connection.
Honestly...I love sav with lashes...she looks boom/great ❤️🔥...
Car podcast 🙌🔥...
Waiting to see the pictures
I love fake lashes for photos too! I discovered NYX jumbo fringe glam lashes and they are the BEST! I never use any others now, they are perfect for photos to get added length but they look so real.
The podcast in the car lowkey nice and Savannah looks so pretty as always.
I think you guys to a good job sharing your life. We don't need to know everything that goes on. If people expect you guys to share everything need to work on themselves bc that's just weird.
I love kyrah! Love the growing together podcast!!!! Both of them amazing people
Sav, girl you're glowing. alos, you're wedding ring is blindinggg me. lol
Yes train them young. I hear parents begging their kids to behave.🤦♀️😳 I always put the Rod of correction to their seat of learning. And never have they backed talked me. Teachers loved having my kids in their classrooms, because they knew how to behave.
Married… used to be a hairstylist and they definitely met my coworkers through work parties and just stopping into the shop for haircuts or lunch breaks. In that job I definitely think spouses should know coworkers because that field is almost TOO casual with each other…
Now I work from home and barely know my coworkers. But my husband has walked in during video calls a few times. No biggie. There are work outings in person that our families are invited to also… but we haven’t attended because we live further away from the rest of the team otherwise we probably would.
My closest friend right now used to be my coworker at an old job and my husband knows her obviously. At most jobs I’ve made friends with one or two coworkers and kept the rest separate lol
I love the setting of the podcast in the car😂❤😍
I have a 9-5 and I separate my personal and professional always mainly because i don’t usually care about my coworkers like that 😬 I just go in and do my job and kept it moving 😂
I feel part of the car hangout 🥹🥹🥹😊
And Love and Logic is a great one too for how to handle discipline! ❤
Sav you are saying that we don’t want to see your life but yes we do!
I’ve worked for myself for the last 3 years and when I had a regular 9-5 unless I actually hung out with some of my coworkers outside of work I would just keep it private with my boyfriend. My boyfriend is in management and I’ve met some of his coworkers because I shop in his store and there have been times where we were invited to a get together (never really went through because of weather). There was a situation where one of the employees liked my boyfriend and he handled it but I’ve never really had any issues. He’s a cool manager he does his job, but makes sure everyone is happy and comfortable. I don’t think it’s “necessary” for your boyfriend or husband, wife girlfriend whatever that person is to you to really know them unless you are all hanging out then maybe they should meet. Outside of that I don’t think it’s that big of a deal especially if you’re just working and going home and have no relations once you’re clocked out.
I’m a ABA therapist and a technique we use when dealing with maladaptive behaviors is;
A) do not react/ reinforce the behavior
If she goes to pull your hair, step away and prevent her from grabbing you if possible
B) use positive language like Sav said!!! “Let’s be gentle” or “let’s keep our hands to ourselves”
C) reinforce when they are being gentle/ appropriately playing with hair.
For example kissing sisters head, helping brush hair or getting ready, whatever it may be related to hair, REINFORCE. “Thank you for being gentile with my/sisters hair!” “Good job giving sweet kisses” “I like how your playing nicely with Barbie’s hair!”
This ensures she’s getting reinforcement from doing something right and that you WANT her to do, rather than getting reinforcement from the reaction (why she thinks it’s funny)
You can also talk to her and explain that it hurts, she will understand.
Hope this helps!
You guys are amazing parents and I love watching y’all! ❤
Always loving your content!! About working 9-5 and your partner meeting the coworkers, I think it depends.
There are some jobs where you work very closely to your coworkers, there’s events and stuff like that, I’d want to meet my husbands workers in that scenario. With my 9-5, I work pretty independently and don’t really care about my coworkers in a personal way, so my husband has not gone to my job to meet people lol
I do talk about my job and when I have a business trip I bring my husband and daughters and they do meet my coworkers who work around the country in remote capacity but my everyday coworkers are not relevant to my life and it would be strange for my husband to just come to my pharmaceutical site to meet irrelevant people lol love you guys!!
This comment right here explains it perfectly!!
I work 8-5 job "in an office." Ny recruiting manager and I are super close. We consider each other best friends, and we hang out outside of work regularly. I think it helps team bonding. We dont talk about work during hang out times though. My husband knows her well, and I know her boyfriend. My daughter also knows her well.
Ri at the end was MOOD AF LOL
Honestly, I like the podcast in the car! Love ya'll
Josh I agree with you, Sav you look beautiful without the false eyelashes. I personally don't see the reason why ladies use them. I enjoyed your podcast today as always and Josh I am with you about the sleeping over, its a no no for me. Love you guys
I BUSTED out laughing at the nun question like whet?? 😂😂😂
People be tripping 🤣
My partner has only met my coworkers if they become my friends outside of work OR if they happen to be working when I am if he comes to visit me! Not INTENTIONALLY trying to keep it separate; neither of us care enough for them 😂
Good episode.
41:10 dawg Josh I totally understand cussing when playing ball. It just happens sometimes 😂
🤷🏽♂️🤷🏽♂️
As far as the hair issue is… I would use a firm voice and show her how to touch your hair in a appropriate way❤ I would always show gentle touches…
But I think the most important thing is you address it immediately and you don’t allow your anger to get the best of you. My kids are older, 5 and 9. But I did time outs for sure❤
Social media is different than a 9-5. My husband has met my coworkers and I’ve met his. Influencing is a very different vibe, you all get to choose what we see and don’t see. Plus real friends don’t have pictures together 😂
Awww I love that couple ❤
not trying to instill more fear in you, but my mom was the same way. never really had sleepovers, but the only two girls that came to my house (older than me and daughters of her very good lifelong friend) molested me every time. we would occasionally go to their house to hang out and it would happen there too. just don’t allow closed doors in rooms/closets and enclosed spaces like tents and forts 💕 i don’t want to scare you, but want to make you aware, coming from a place of love and awareness.
Sweet Ri with her curl and her little yawns. 🥰 And then the wave. 👋
It’s not really a whole separate life Josh, she’s just going to work and back lol. Being married shouldn’t mean you don’t have your own life sometimes…. I would never want to meet a partners coworkers (as someone whose works in a corporate office) unless he hangs out with them outside of work. It’s just not necessary lol he never chose to be with those ppl they simply just work together by chance
Read Hunt Gather Parent! It’s a great book for parenting tips! ❤
My work and personal life is so separate period
What would you recommend for beginner podcast equipment especially if the space you’re recording has high ceilings?
Thats not being a push over thats honoring your commitment to each other and your faith. Romans 12:9-16 (NRSV), “Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor. Do not lag in zeal, be ardent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer.
Yes my fiancé has met coworkers
❤❤❤❤Josh and Sav. Australia. Most sexual assaults occur from family members and close friends. Sad to say.
My husband does contract work, so he moves job to job and with different people constantly but it’s a male dominant job, very few females ever. And I have not met a single one of his co workers, because the type of job he does it’s not a very friendly job and they may end up on the same contract but it’s never a guarantee he’ll see that co worker again. Different dynamic completely then a normal 9-5.
❤
12:12 makes sense to me. I'm not bringing my friends, auntie, sisters brothers, n acquaintances to work with me
❤❤
Yes my parents never let me go to sleep overs not even at my cousins house
I like thee car background
Listen guys... there's nothing like a car chat. Having your podcast in the car seems so natural.... maybe lapel mics would work better?
Y'all looking all cute ...love y'all guys❤❤❤
Ri is always so busy in the videos😂😂😭
On the coworker thing. The Bf/Gf doesnt need to meet your coworkers if they are strictly just coworkers. If one spends time with coworkers outside of work then it's not unreasonable to have one's s.o
Not me thinking Josh said he cusses when he is pooping 🤣💀 I had to rewind 3 times to make sure I heard him right 🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 yo
Women are so funny when it comes to who their husband's and boyfriend's co-workers are. It's not like he can choose who they are. 😄
If you have any respect at all for your boyfriend, especially if it’s a long-term, there is no difference in having him as a boyfriend or having him as a husband, except for a piece of paper. Your actions, and what you choose to do should still be the same but that’s my opinion just because you’re someone’s boyfriend for 20 years doesn’t mean that you don’t matter. Ya know.
Okay I dig the car not gonna lie
For me, how would my husband meet my coworkers when I don’t see them outside of work? Unless he comes to my job then obviously I would introduce him which with my job its retail so he’s met almost all of my coworkers just from Shopping there lol but if I work in an office and don’t see these ppls outside of it I wouldn’t feel the need to tell my husband “stop by the office to meet my coworkers” but again if I was going to a work function he would meet them for sure