Analytical vs creative. Details vs big picture. Balance. Perfectionism.

My name is Xanthe Wyse.
Current diagnoses bipolar 1 disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), mild social anxiety disorder. Clinicians would say I am 'hypomanic' (slightly elevated mood) currently. I feel like just able to get some stuff done for a change.
Joined 2 videos back together as there was just a few minutes that split out.
It's challenging for me to communicate with talking but I try. Mainly because I find it hard to speak efficiently but it's just how my brain works to go on tangents.
Talking about how my brain is both analytical and creative and I need that balance. Even though they seem to be opposing forces, if I can balance them, I do my best work.
I can see the big picture and the detail but prefer the big picture. Yet, I hyperfocus on my projects, pulling from multiple sources at once. This is very challenging and I need plenty of recovery time afterwards. It's how I wrote my novel, Pet Purpose: Your Unspoken Voice.
When I speak, I go off on tangents as speech is too rigid for how my brain works. I prefer visual arts. But I also like the challenge of trying to communicate with words, which I do better with writing. My prain goes off on extra tangents when I am doing a lot of processing.
Worked for hours making a timeline to help my psychiatrist who is doing an assessment this year (mainly reassessing autism).
Putting things in sequence (like medical records) has been tiring and tedious for me.
I have noticed that when perfectionism has cropped up for me, I have felt more anxious and depressed. Doing the improvised videos has been one way I have gone against the perfectionism.
I find the later stages of book writing (proof-reading etc) to be very tedious. I love the creating parts. But also need lots of recovery time between bursts. If my mind is too scattered, it comes across and there is too much to rearranged later - that's where visual arts can be a great way to process.
I feel the most freedom when I can improvise. A loose framework is fine - like having chords when playing piano. I found classical sheet notation too restrictive.
some of my improvised art:
www.bipolarcour...
my books:
www.bipolarcour...