There's so much power in admitting that you're not okay, not only because its cathartic but because it helps other people open up, to know they're not the only ones struggling and then feel better about their own struggles.
This talk made my heart hurt. I constantly feel torn between wanting to have kids and wondering how I would cope within all of that, how much of myself would I lose. I don't know which way this talk has swayed me but I do know that I have a lot of respect for this woman.
Winter strikes me as the kind of person who is always in control and presents herself immaculately, I can't imagine how depleted she must have been to get to the point where she teared up during an interview in such a public forum
You're not alone Winter! We've been given these unrealistic ideas about 'having it all' and just struggling through what that actually means with a smile but the truth is that we can't maintain that all by ourselves, we need help, and we shouldn't be made to feel 'less than' because of it.
The fact that the word "confessions" is used in the title here. The fact that the women in our lives feel any sense of shame or guilt for not being able to "perform" to a standard that is absolutely ridiculous. Thank you Winter for this talk. Will be sharing.
We need to stop pretending to be ok. It sets up a precedent that being ok and being a ‘superwoman’ is the norm. The more of us who show the reality of being human, the more awareness and change can happen.
This!!!! So relevant, so spot on, so honest! The role of women in family and society has always been “the glue” and because there are more working moms than ever, this role has become more and more demanding without any adjustments in this patriarchal world. By elevating our voices, sharing our stories, we will be heard! This is therapeutic! Thank you for this! We all have those tearful 20 minute “breakdowns” from time to time…nice to know we are not alone! Mom guilt is soo real! Let’s continue this conversation!!! Applauding you Winter for your honesty and sharing these candid and very personal moments. Thank you!
This talk is beautiful, I love that she's not trying to push some system on us like 'follow this formula for happiness!' like most TEDx talks. Very refreshing Winter, thank you.
Sending this to my wife. And my sister. So many of the women in my life are constantly feeling this experience that Winter speaks of. I also see some ways I can help my wife now. thank you Winter
It takes a lot of courage to really own where you're at emotionally and admit when you need help BEFORE you reach that crying alone in a bathroom phase.
Amen! I am so over hearing about all these "successful" women who "do it all", This is not something to strive for in my opinion, our quality of life is suffering in the name of being a success!
I think this is why it's so important to have children with someone who not only also really wants them but who you trust! Trust to just do the things around the house that need to be done, someone you trust has the capability to handle all the extra work that having a child requires.
We love to praise the martyr, which makes us feel that we need to be a martyr to be ‘successful’. Talks like this are working towards shifting the narrative to one of genuine and transparent humanity.
Saying it like it is! I had to really take stock recently when I realised how much my wife actually does in a day. Mind blowing! Sharing this with her, she'll feel seen.
What she said at the 4:49 mark about "mom fatigue" resonated with me. Moms are exhausted just from giving birth and never really get the chance to recover from that
I have the utmost respect and admiration for women who have decided they're happy to take a backseat in their own lives for the sake of raising children. That is, for those who follow through and actually do that. (Yes, Winter is one of them).
How brave you are beautiful... your speech move me to the bond... from so far away I send you all my love and support... I feel you, I admire you, I see you... as you are, You have been the voice of many... what you have done is a legacy...
My Mom worked 45 hours a week and still made us dinner most nights, lunch every day, managed to get us to activities outside of school - she always made sure we understood that there was a need for balance in life and that you had to find it any way you could - whether it be meditation while doing dishes, making sure she delegated to us.... I still couldn't do what she did, I'll always be so impressed by her.
There is such a power and responsibility shift happening atm and if we are not vocal about what it means and how we can ensure equality, we are going to continue being a mess of a society.
This was very moving. It brought me to tears to watch and as a working mother of four myself, my heart goes out to her. It IS okay to cry sometimes, and if it makes you feel safer to do so in private, do it, but be sure to let it out. NO ONE can understand fully the way life's difficulties make another feel. We all feel it differently, but as women, as mothers, we should work harder to lift one another up. Offer to help when you can, offer to listen; the difference it can make for someone to speak and be heard can be life changing.
Thank you for this! I definitely agree that talking about these issues helps not only me, but so many people who watch this video. That makes me incredibly happy!
I remember about a year after our first was born my partner had to sit down and really figure out how we could meet each other half way and not expect one another to be mind readers. It's tough to find that balance but so much better in the long run.
A friend of mine was talking about things happening with her kids and how they were trying to shift things in a way so that dad could be seen as a source of meeting some of their needs, but that shift is hard. Sometimes, all they want is mom, and nothing else will do. That is a lot of pressure for one person, especially when that one person needs to have their own life for their well-being too. I admire moms so so much.
I can relate to Winter's story and her words that everyone needed her, no one could do what was needed without her. Raising small children and working without help is the norm for many woman.
Thank you Winter for being so honest. I am tired of resilience being seen as a strength, we shouldn't have to be resilient and constantly strive for better or more or whatever, we need to just be!
An absolute force right here. And one we all need to listen to. Women rule this world and for right reason, if they ask for help, we need to listen, because it's help for all of us.
Thank you for being so vulnerable in this talk, Winter. So very relatable to EVERYONE, including working mothers and fathers and world class athletes like Simone Biles. Be vocal about your needs to preserve your mental health.
This was a really eye-opening talk for me... communication is key to all relationships but sometimes - especially when there's a new baby - we can just be so exhausted that we aren't checking in and having those chats, then that can turn into the norm and before you know it your wife is crying in the bathroom without anyone knowing.
This must have been really tough Winter, you should be really proud of yourself that you decided to be honest in that moment and that you have the courage to follow through with a talk like this
Thank you Winter. As a single Dad who works full time, I can relate to what you're saying. I have family support but I'm almost always trying to do it on my own. I see now being able to admit to myself and to others, will hope both me and my son thrive.
I love how cheeky her face looks when she says 'there's no secret formula' and 'unfortunately for the host we were about to have a very different conversation."
Wow this has really shone a much needed light. I've always felt there's somewhat of a disparity between moms and dads in terms of how they're perceived and the roles they have to play in the household
How incredibly well put. So many women are striving for this kind of life but there is no balance and fulfillment and we have to stop leading the narrative that this is the standard.
Definitely felt myself get teary when the host asked you how you were. I know that feeling so well. And honestly, so grateful to such a powerhouse as yourself for allowing your vulnerability and humility there, so beautiful! Thank you!
Nobody should have to feel as if they're not enough, not doing enough. Winter, your family is lucky to have you and I am really grateful to have come across this speech of yours as I really feel I understand how my partner feels a lot of the time now...
Mom's and Dad's these days are just taking too much on. We are too quickly losing touch with what is important, our family, our community. Thank you for this Winter.
I found what she said around the 5 minute mark so interesting! I'm definitely guilty of doing that to people but I've never thought about how it makes me feel super invalidated when people do it to me!
I can not tell you how validating it is to see the mother of small children being this candid about her struggle to maintain success
Thank you, Abby. I am so happy this resonated with you and hope you'll share it with your circle. We need to make sure more women feel seen.
There's so much power in admitting that you're not okay, not only because its cathartic but because it helps other people open up, to know they're not the only ones struggling and then feel better about their own struggles.
Yes, absolutely! I want people to know that they aren't alone. They can ask for help, and that's ok!
This talk made my heart hurt. I constantly feel torn between wanting to have kids and wondering how I would cope within all of that, how much of myself would I lose. I don't know which way this talk has swayed me but I do know that I have a lot of respect for this woman.
The trick is finding the partner (if you want one) or the village that will support you and ensure you have all the help and rest you require.
Thank you for talking about emotions and thank god you're here.
thanks for sharing with me
Thank you so much for watching and for sharing. I'm glad this talk resonated with you!
It's so much easier to "fake the perfection" than to be vulnerable and admit you're not coping.
It works well until you hit the emotional wall and fall apart.
Winter strikes me as the kind of person who is always in control and presents herself immaculately, I can't imagine how depleted she must have been to get to the point where she teared up during an interview in such a public forum
Thank you for commenting. I appreciate your words.
All of us, don't have it all, most of the time when we get past the I want them, we discover we have just what we need.
Interesting!
It's hard not doing it all when you know you can, even if its exhausting.
it is so tiring isnt it
Yes, we can do it, but should we?
Being a working mother is one of the hardest 24/7 jobs in the world.
It absolutely is, yet so many of us make it work!
You're not alone Winter! We've been given these unrealistic ideas about 'having it all' and just struggling through what that actually means with a smile but the truth is that we can't maintain that all by ourselves, we need help, and we shouldn't be made to feel 'less than' because of it.
Thank you, Jack! We'll change things together!
The fact that the word "confessions" is used in the title here. The fact that the women in our lives feel any sense of shame or guilt for not being able to "perform" to a standard that is absolutely ridiculous. Thank you Winter for this talk. Will be sharing.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your words.
I agree 100% that we call want to be seen, heard appreciated and acknowledged for the contribution we make to our families.
Thank you so much for watching and listening. It's truly appreciated!
There's no secret formula to "having it all" because we're all individuals with unique circumstances.
Absolutely
I hope her family has seen this talk and appreciates the way she holds it all together!
Ha, yes, one would hope. Thank you for commenting!
This woman has such a powerful and calm presence, it's hard to imagine her sneaking off to cry in a bathroom!
I've worked for years to perfect that demeanor! Thanks so much for commenting!
This woman has so much on her plate, it's exhausting just listening to her!
Thank you for watching and commenting!
We need to stop pretending to be ok. It sets up a precedent that being ok and being a ‘superwoman’ is the norm. The more of us who show the reality of being human, the more awareness and change can happen.
Thank you for commenting!
To be human is a divine thing, I love that we are beginning to accept and celebrate such things.
@@valeriedijkstra Thank you so much for commenting!
This!!!! So relevant, so spot on, so honest! The role of women in family and society has always been “the glue” and because there are more working moms than ever, this role has become more and more demanding without any adjustments in this patriarchal world. By elevating our voices, sharing our stories, we will be heard! This is therapeutic! Thank you for this! We all have those tearful 20 minute “breakdowns” from time to time…nice to know we are not alone! Mom guilt is soo real! Let’s continue this conversation!!! Applauding you Winter for your honesty and sharing these candid and very personal moments. Thank you!
Thank you so much!
This needs to be shared far and wide.
Thank you! Please share it with your circle!
I have so much respect for Winter, she seems so well put together and so motivated, pretty inspirational really.
Thank you so much! I really appreciate your words.
This talk is beautiful, I love that she's not trying to push some system on us like 'follow this formula for happiness!' like most TEDx talks. Very refreshing Winter, thank you.
Thank you for watching and commenting! I appreciate it!
Sending this to my wife. And my sister. So many of the women in my life are constantly feeling this experience that Winter speaks of. I also see some ways I can help my wife now. thank you Winter
Thank you so much!
"The secret formula is that there isn't a formula". Loved that.
Thank you!
It takes a lot of courage to really own where you're at emotionally and admit when you need help BEFORE you reach that crying alone in a bathroom phase.
Thank you! Yes, you got it exactly!
Mothers put their heads down and do what needs to be done even if they're exhausted. Often without complaining.
Yes, we do, and that needs to change. We need to require those around us to do more for us.
Self-care is something which should be top of the list in society’s eyes, a non-negotiable. We need to shift this.
I absolutely agree! Thank you for commenting, Carol!
Amen! I am so over hearing about all these "successful" women who "do it all", This is not something to strive for in my opinion, our quality of life is suffering in the name of being a success!
Exactly! Our society isn't set up to sufficiently support women-- no matter what we decide to do with our lives.
Thanks Winter for being humble and vulnerable while sharing your story.
Thank you so much for watching and commenting! I appreciate it.
aaaaand this is exactly why you need to have clear and honest conversations about your capabilities and expectations BEFORE you have children.
Thanks for commenting!
Definitely not a burden shared enough. It's interesting how quickly a perspective can be changed when we are honest about our struggles.
I absolutely agree! We can have a societal shift if we all push these issues to the forefront.
I think this is why it's so important to have children with someone who not only also really wants them but who you trust! Trust to just do the things around the house that need to be done, someone you trust has the capability to handle all the extra work that having a child requires.
That would be a great situation to be in!
Love an advocate who learns to see beyond the case.
Thank you so much!
We love to praise the martyr, which makes us feel that we need to be a martyr to be ‘successful’. Talks like this are working towards shifting the narrative to one of genuine and transparent humanity.
Thank you so much for this, I appreciate it!
Some days are just s**t, and those days pile us and wear us down. Thank you for being so honest and so vulnerable in this talk
Thank you so much, Ramona!
My heart broke at the 10:29 minute mark to think of her a "ball of tears" on the bathroom floor.
I was initially mortified that I had cried, but ultimately I think it drove home the point. So many people have the exact same experience.
Saying it like it is! I had to really take stock recently when I realised how much my wife actually does in a day. Mind blowing! Sharing this with her, she'll feel seen.
I’m glad this resonated with you! Thank you for sharing your experience.
a definition is switch is needed, over extending yourself is not having it all
What she said at the 4:49 mark about "mom fatigue" resonated with me. Moms are exhausted just from giving birth and never really get the chance to recover from that
That’s a great point!
I have the utmost respect and admiration for women who have decided they're happy to take a backseat in their own lives for the sake of raising children. That is, for those who follow through and actually do that. (Yes, Winter is one of them).
Thank you. That’s very kind and I appreciate it very much!
I am so done with the those who refuse to see the balance that is still needed if we ever hope to move forward within our family units.
SAME. I'm glad my talk shed light on this.
For most working moms gritting their teeth and keeping on with it is the norm. It comes with the territory and we do it tirelessly 24/7.
Indeed!
How brave you are beautiful... your speech move me to the bond... from so far away I send you all my love and support... I feel you, I admire you, I see you... as you are, You have been the voice of many... what you have done is a legacy...
That is so very kind of you! Thank you.
What she says at the 6:00 mark really struck me, how different someone's words can hit depending on how we're feeling in the moment.
Thank you! I appreciate you watching and commenting!
Her vulnerability makes her powerful!
Thank you so much. I appreciate your words!
My Mom worked 45 hours a week and still made us dinner most nights, lunch every day, managed to get us to activities outside of school - she always made sure we understood that there was a need for balance in life and that you had to find it any way you could - whether it be meditation while doing dishes, making sure she delegated to us.... I still couldn't do what she did, I'll always be so impressed by her.
Thank you for sharing that! It's unbelievable the amount of work we manage to take on and handle successfully.
You are the voice we all need.
Thank you so much! I appreciate that.
I wish we heard more about how much a dynamic changes once their are kids, house, careers and surviving thrown into the mix.
That would have been a different talk, but certainly one that should ultimately be delivered.
There is such a power and responsibility shift happening atm and if we are not vocal about what it means and how we can ensure equality, we are going to continue being a mess of a society.
Yes, indeed! We must do better by the generations we are raising!
This was very moving. It brought me to tears to watch and as a working mother of four myself, my heart goes out to her. It IS okay to cry sometimes, and if it makes you feel safer to do so in private, do it, but be sure to let it out. NO ONE can understand fully the way life's difficulties make another feel. We all feel it differently, but as women, as mothers, we should work harder to lift one another up. Offer to help when you can, offer to listen; the difference it can make for someone to speak and be heard can be life changing.
Thank you for this! I definitely agree that talking about these issues helps not only me, but so many people who watch this video. That makes me incredibly happy!
I remember about a year after our first was born my partner had to sit down and really figure out how we could meet each other half way and not expect one another to be mind readers. It's tough to find that balance but so much better in the long run.
Yes, those conversations must be had. When they're had and yet no changes are made, it's a totally different story. Thank you for commenting!
I appreciate the transparency here. Honest and vulnerable, traits we are finally recognising for the strength they give us.
Thank you so much!
Bonnie this superb, wish I would have watched it sooner!
@@mariannemortimer7724 Thank you so much! I hope you'll share it with those who need it!
Thank you for validating me on my decision to not have children.
Ha, you’re welcome.
oh goodness thank YOU for the honesty!!
Thank YOU for watching and commenting! I hope you'll share the talk with your circle.
Sounds like a lot of pressure Winter, definitely agree with you about having that grit in spades ❤
Thanks, I appreciate you!
I would read any book she wrote! Her honesty is fabulous and I wish so much that I could articulate like that.
thank you for the raw honesty!!
I'm so grateful that I was able to deliver this talk and that it has resonated with so many. Thank you for watching!
wow, this is right on!
agreed
Thank you so much!
@@phillipnorris3rd I appreciate you!
This was so inspiring to watch and listen to. Thank you for sharing your story!
Thank you!
A friend of mine was talking about things happening with her kids and how they were trying to shift things in a way so that dad could be seen as a source of meeting some of their needs, but that shift is hard. Sometimes, all they want is mom, and nothing else will do. That is a lot of pressure for one person, especially when that one person needs to have their own life for their well-being too. I admire moms so so much.
Thank you so much, Carl! I appreciate your point of view and commentary.
We might have it all but doesn't mean we have it together!
We may carry the load well, but it doesn't mean it isn't heavy! Thank you for your comment!
Sending this to my husband
tell me how that goes!
Good! I hope he understand what you've been trying to tell him!
We can only hope that our children grow up and come to understand how much we sacrifice for them
Maybe they’ll understand when they have their own kids. We shall see, I suppose!
I can relate to Winter's story and her words that everyone needed her, no one could do what was needed without her. Raising small children and working without help is the norm for many woman.
Thank you! I appreciate your comment!
Makes me love the women in my life even more. Couldn't do even half of what you lot get through in a day.
They are our life line.
I'm glad you enjoyed the talk and that this was your takeaway! Thanks so much for commenting!
@@chantalbrovic Yes, absolutely!!
Thank you Winter for being so honest. I am tired of resilience being seen as a strength, we shouldn't have to be resilient and constantly strive for better or more or whatever, we need to just be!
Agree 100% Alicja.
Thank you, Alicja! I agree 100%!
@@janetsplace1953 Thank you so much for commenting! I also appreciate Alicja's comment.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Winter. You are an inspiration.
Thank you!
I’m crying. I needed to hear this. I really needed to hear this. Thank you.
I am so glad this resonated with you, and thank you for letting me know. I hope you get the relief you need.
Never was the phrase "the truth will set you free" more apt than in Winter's case.
An absolute force right here. And one we all need to listen to. Women rule this world and for right reason, if they ask for help, we need to listen, because it's help for all of us.
Thank you so much, Parly!
thank goodness we are finally being honest about life and the struggles that come with being a parent and having a career
Yes, absolutely! Let's pull the veil off of faux perfection.
Thank you for being so vulnerable in this talk, Winter. So very relatable to EVERYONE, including working mothers and fathers and world class athletes like Simone Biles. Be vocal about your needs to preserve your mental health.
Wow, such a good talk to send me!
This was a brilliant find, such an incredible woman!
Thank you so much!
@@harrydecker3979 Thank you so much for your support!
@@nelwashington Thank you so much for commenting!
We all get expectations, maybe thats a key, don't attach to our desires.
Thanks for commenting!
This was a really eye-opening talk for me... communication is key to all relationships but sometimes - especially when there's a new baby - we can just be so exhausted that we aren't checking in and having those chats, then that can turn into the norm and before you know it your wife is crying in the bathroom without anyone knowing.
Thank you so much for this comment! I hope you'll spread what you learned to your circle of friends because society can fix this problem.
Such a powerful and vulnerable space- thank you for showing this for what it is and allowing us to witness it.
Thank you so much for accepting me without judgment. I appreciate you!
Fabulous talk. Her delivery, her presence, her honesty. DO NOT miss this!!!! Moms are superheroes! Winter you are exemplary!
Thank you so much!
This must have been really tough Winter, you should be really proud of yourself that you decided to be honest in that moment and that you have the courage to follow through with a talk like this
Thank you so much! That’s so kind of you to say.
I've seen another one of Winters talks and I am just so impressed with her authenticity and the way she discusses her struggles with such openness.
Thank you so much! I appreciate that you've seen both of my talks!
Thank you Winter for opening up. It’s so true. We have to open up, for ourselves and for the future of our daughters. Superwoman is a fairytale.
massively appreciated
Thank you so much! I'm glad it resonated with you.
Very good information around feeling and listening, not jumping to fixing.
Thank you so much for watching and commenting.
pov i didn't expect to take on today. needed tho. cheers
Thanks so much for watching. I appreciate your comment!
Thank you Winter. As a single Dad who works full time, I can relate to what you're saying. I have family support but I'm almost always trying to do it on my own. I see now being able to admit to myself and to others, will hope both me and my son thrive.
I'm glad this resonated with you and that you're more willing to ask your village for what you need! Thank you for sharing with me!
I love how cheeky her face looks when she says 'there's no secret formula' and 'unfortunately for the host we were about to have a very different conversation."
Wow this has really shone a much needed light. I've always felt there's somewhat of a disparity between moms and dads in terms of how they're perceived and the roles they have to play in the household
The disparity is stark and slowly (very slowly) shifting.
This proves, often all is too much!
100%
How incredibly well put. So many women are striving for this kind of life but there is no balance and fulfillment and we have to stop leading the narrative that this is the standard.
Definitely felt myself get teary when the host asked you how you were. I know that feeling so well. And honestly, so grateful to such a powerhouse as yourself for allowing your vulnerability and humility there, so beautiful! Thank you!
Thank you so much! I'm glad you were able to relate and connect.
What a great person to be able to be so honest and real here!
Thank you so much, Pablo! I appreciate your words ver much.
What an extraordinary woman, they all our. I appreciate her honesty so much here
Thank you so much, Audrey!
Regardless of individual circumstances we our all so closely aligned in this journey. It’s important we mention it more. Thank you. 💗
Thank you!
I was just thinking that! I am not a mother but my biggest fear is being judged because I need a break.
@@GeorgiaDawkins Thank you for commenting!
Yes so true Jess, we must work together.
@@jorgeestoban Yes, we must! I appreciate your comment.
I don't know what the intention of Winters talk was here but it just reaffirmed my decision to never have kids.
Everyone has to do what's best for them, but my children are amazing.
Nobody should have to feel as if they're not enough, not doing enough. Winter, your family is lucky to have you and I am really grateful to have come across this speech of yours as I really feel I understand how my partner feels a lot of the time now...
Thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind words. I'm so glad that my talk resonated with you and gave you a glimpse into your partner's life.
I think this is why it's so crucial for moms to have access to each other in the forms of support groups and just community y'know?
This is brilliant, breaking through and being heard.
Thank you so much! I appreciate your comment.
I really admire the way she lays it all out there, it's a really beautiful display of vulnerability and confidence all at once
Thank you so much! I appreciate your commentary!
Good mom good talk!
Thank you!
Mom's and Dad's these days are just taking too much on. We are too quickly losing touch with what is important, our family, our community. Thank you for this Winter.
Thank you so much for watching. I'm glad this spoke to you.
I found what she said around the 5 minute mark so interesting! I'm definitely guilty of doing that to people but I've never thought about how it makes me feel super invalidated when people do it to me!
Thank you. I'm so glad it resonated with you!
Great Mom!
Thank you!
When you're a working mum your needs are frequently stomped on by others who need you.
This is the absolute truth. Thank you for commenting.