loneliness as a software engineer
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- Опубліковано 18 чер 2024
- Nobody talks about how lonely it gets being a software engineer. I share a lot of my personal story in this video and what it's like away from the perks and benefits.
#loneliness #coding #programming #softwareengineer #developer #programmer #interview #systemdesign #mentalhealth #alone #philosophy - Наука та технологія
I feel you man, I'm living on the other side of the world and working in tech gave me the same vibes. Since then I started to pursue a higher level of education, bc of that found gf and (very purposefully) new friends. Now I feel more connected than ever and want to do smth more than just simple backend dev/coding.
And definitely don't want to work remotely.
And really don't want to agree with what that girl about spending more time on your own, I just try to be as open and socially proactive as possible, even if people around me are not.
When I started working as an engineer, I thought it was cool to not be bothered while working. Some years went by and started to think that working from home, was even cooler. More years went by and started to feel what you said on this video. Even tho it is not needed, I tend to go to the office at least 2 days a week only to meet my teammates and get to chat while having a drink with them. :)
I am fully agree with you, my friend. IT development - is for introverts and asocial persons
u indian?
Great video!
This perspective is often neglected! Thanks for sharing
Great story, thank you for sharing. I enjoy a mix of bouth, enjoying time by myself (mainly with sport and selfcare) but also meeting people some time. I think the middle is the right way to
When you grow up with toxic aunts, uncles, and dark-hearted family/friends you truly appreciate being alone. Such a relief to remove anchors from your life. In essence, its all about perspective.
Bingo.
Escapism feels natural when every social relationship you’ve experienced is harmful. Especially with Social Media, you can still sample human experience without being too involved in it
Great job talking about it! I have exactly the same problem. Especially small talks and drinks, whether that would be after work or during my studies. I just cannot fit into conversations about mundane things and this always resulted in me struggling to make friends and have social connections. But that did push me to set life goals, seek purpose and build my own business.
Thanks Sem! Really hoping things get a lot better for you!!
Alex
Thank you for this video!!!
I can relate to feeling like this. I have 5+ years experience across 3 sites in sw engineering and I would say it very much depends where you work. For the last 3 years, I've been working in a small dev building with about 20 sw/hw developers. There are no managers or other departments (these are based on another site). People tend to keep to themselves and it can be loansome at times. The work has been interesting but from a social standpoint it's poor. I've decided to quit and do some travelling. When I come back I'll be seeking a workplace with more departments and a more diverse workforce. Best of luck!
Appreciate you sharing your experience & perspective
People think money is everything. Even as they grow old, they don’t realize that it’s not the only essential thing. I understood this from a young age when I lost my mother. Despite having a lot of money, you can't buy back life or time.
Keep going bro, try to find some hobbies, maybe yoga, or some dance classes, or a sport, or reading club, maybe in those you can find great people
Aaah Amazon makes sense 💀
Hey, I just wanted to say that it might be a good idea to try to find a different team if you still work at Microsoft that is more collaborative or try and find another company that has a collaborative work culture. I haven’t had a job yet as a software engineer but I’m pretty sure there are teams and companies that are more social and have a better atmosphere.
Emotional and social intelligence are 2 skills you will get by opening up to people
It's not covid, that's just professional life. If you want workers you can hang with after work everyday you need to work in Asia. You will be required to go out drinking with your coworkers and boss every night. That's not for me. I value my time after work away from work and coworkers. What you need is a 3rd place between home and work to act as your social space.
this is actually great, that you are alone lol, not lonely.
feels bad man, we're pretty much the same, but i got anime girls tho🤣
Why not get a weekend gig in the service industry? You will get to talk to people all day.
Watch movies, read books they give you all the life lessons you need.
I am around your age, so hopefully this doesn't sound like a boomer talking down to you. But the worse excuse I hear all the time from ppl in our generation is "Nobody told me". As if there is a secret manual given to everyone at birth besides you. It's not the case. You are told almost everything you need to know about life, you just chose not to listen. You have an example of someone telling you a life lesson, and you choose to ignore it. If you watch any worthy movie out there, there is always a life lesson in it. Don't pick work over friends and family, don't be mean, there are things out there that are more important than your career, etc.
I get it, we want to stay kids forever, especially in America. Where we romanticize being young and carefree. But we can't. That's not how life works.
I do think you should continue to share your stories because you aren't the only one. And maybe they will listen to you
you cant replace social connections with books or movies lmao .
@@musashi542 I never said it did. I said for life lessons. Learn small talk, learn that work isn't everything, etc. Social connections definitely affected everyone during the lock down. So it's tough, but what I'm talking about is people who say no one ever told me I had to "XYZ"
You choose to make it lonely. You can also choose to change
so what are you doing for livelihood today?
I used to be a Social Outdoor Cat. But then the Pandemic came and that is what made me into the Social Retarded Indoor Cat I am now.
I hope it gets better. I'm going to make more of an effort to get out there more this year and the next. There's hope for us all!
Everyone in the comment section who relate are most likely problem solvers for a living but can't seem to figure out they need to put effort into building friendships and meeting new people, introducing themselves etc... Working on social skills, pushing past your limits and social anxiety.
Do you have family around you? Feeling same but no bandwidth to go chill with people anyway lol
Cant even get an interview at big tech companies what a joke, bunch of elitists
maybe work and get out at night ? like bruh .
Software engineering took away your social life completely 😭
Don't let it take yours!
Dude, I play tennis. Find a tennis club and take some lessons then get involved. You will develop tons of friends. Also, I bike so join a local cycling club same and same. Don't worry about the social life of the work environment focus on what you do when you are away from work. If that does not help then switch careers to work where you interact with people.