This is so helpful. There is so much information about dealing with trauma that we pick up throughout life, dealing with difficult people and the aftermath of what is left behind with us emotionally. However there is a lack of communication on how to move on. Time is going to keep going no matter what emotional state we are in. I don’t want to live my life dwelling in past trauma, that’s not living at all. This talk was so encouraging to me because I push myself to think forward, not to allow myself to get stuck in a bad mindset and especially not peddle backwards. Yes trauma changed us but we still have life and we can choose to live and not just exist.
That's really good to hear! So glad this is helpful to you. And I very much agree there is a lack of focus on how to move on. Some of the reason why is because it's not an easy subject to discuss without mentioning the spiritual components of this. Psychology and the spiritual realm have separated and so concepts and discussion have been separated as well. We certainly need to bridge this gap so we can have more of these discussions.
Tamara you make a lot of sense. Trauma isn't going extinct, it's almost like a household word. I think it can cause pain physically, mentally, emotionally. It can also make you stronger. I broke some of mines through therapy and spiritualality. I mixed science with Gods blessings I'm a average person I don't have a lot of drama and I take care of myself on a broken budget. I don't pray for money or food, instead I thank God for what he provided for me that day. Thank you for your knowledge.
Thank you 😊 I appreciate your humble focus and gratitude as you state "...instead I thank God for what he provided for me that day." Wisdom indeed. Glad this discussion was helpful too.
I’ve tried to break free, by telling my mother that I simply wanted to move out to live closer to work. She completely blew up in my face, called me “selfish”, “hurtful” and told me that I was “abandoning” the “family”. Unfortunately, my contract wasn’t renewed for my job, so I couldn’t move out anymore, she acted like she felt bad for me, but I knew she didn’t. She made it seem like God was punishing me because I wanted to live on my own, so that’s why my contract wasn’t renewed and because I was being so “selfish” and “hurtful” towards her for wanting to have a life of my own. Afterwards, once we began to move, she proceeded to tell me, “I’m so glad you came around,” as if me moving out meant that I simply just lost my mind and I went “crazy”. I need a life of my own no matter what, I deserve to be happy. It’s hard not to have a fixed mindset when you’re stuck and trapped with an emotional manipulative and controlling mother with no life, no friends, and now no job. It’s completely debilitating and depressing.
I can relate to this in several different ways. My “mother” has been very controlling, manipulative and even at times I’ve experienced her even showing jealousy towards me. I’m in my 40’s married, with 2 kids. And I’m just discovering how much of a negative impact “she has done and tried to do to me” I think I’ve finally reached the point of going no contact. 😳 I would have never thought to do this due to me being raised in the church. However O have discovered how the teaching of the scripture “honor thy father and thy mother” was taken out of context and was used by my parents for their personal gain against me. God has set me FREE I’m walking in my healing daily. It has not been easy. But YOU deserve to happy! Please know God did not allow that “job transfer to fail” sometimes ppl can try to wish ill will against a person especially if they are benefiting from having this person in their lives. I saw your comment and I thought I would write to say. Don’t give up! You deserve to be happy!
@@faithgirl8844 Thank You for the encouragement and kind words, I’m glad I’m not alone. Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy, I doubt myself, and question my thoughts and feelings, because that’s how my mother makes me feel. The gaslighting, ridicule, guilt-tripping, shaming, emotional manipulation, etc. I’m ready for God to set me free as well, as soon as possible. I can’t live like this anymore, but I will overcome this no matter what, I will be set free.
@@faithgirl8844 Thank You so much for the encouragement and kind words. I don’t know what happened to my previous comment. But I appreciate you reaching out to me, I’m praying for God to set me free as well. Even if I had a healthy and normal relationship with my mother, I still would want to have a life of my own, move out, get married and have kids, etc. How did you navigate creating a life for yourself, I’ve been trying to do that as well, but it seems impossible?
@@faithgirl8844 Hopefully this comment won't get deleted, but Thank You for the encouragement and kind words, any update on your no contact journey? How did you navigate leaving your mother? I was obviously gaslighted when I tried.
UA-cam will make the VERY LIVELY chatbox available within a few hours of this chat ending. STAY TUNED! If you missed the "closed-minded," fixed-mindset chat, click here: ua-cam.com/users/livebXebzZzTWys?si=zmgtktSmzfmeCb1F
TYSM Tamara for the wonderful caring discussion and as always I've learned something from listening. I feel I may be suffering from compassion fatigue.. still at 70 yrs old from trying to be there for my 48 yr old special needs Trans daughter all of her life. We only have each other and I will never turn my back on her as so many others have. She call's me several times a day as she worries about me and I worry about her equally. We live an hour away from each other via the trains in the NY tristate area. Trying desperately to get her housing close to me in CT which would alleviate some concerns..but it seems impossible. Pls pray for us. Ty 😢🙏🏾
🙏🏽 I'm so sorry you are going through this. You are a good mom for doing this for your child. I can only imagine the uphill battles you face in this dynamic. Only God and a "growth mindset" can carry you through to the end of this test. May God give you strength and wisdom.
🙌Yes, I totally agree. Sometimes it's hard to "settle down" in a busy or active life to reach for the best book in the world. But once you do, it's worth it!
I'm 40 and feel like I have noone to form a close relationship with. I sound immigrant even thou I have dual citizenship but my foreign accent isn't perceived attractive to others
I’m sorry you feel this way. I hope you’re able to form friendships with people who will really like and care for you. You deserve this! ❤️🩹 Don’t give up.
Such a powerful video! 🚀 The breakdown of fixed vs. growth mindset is eye-opening, and I love the insights on intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. The meta-cognition section really makes you rethink how we think! 🤯 I’ve definitely noticed the difference in my own life when shifting from a fixed to a growth mindset. 💪 For everyone watching, what has been your experience with intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation? How have you applied the 3 questions to push yourself forward? Drop your thoughts and stories below - let’s get a discussion going! 👇 Let's inspire each other to keep moving up & on! 🔥
Tamara, I don’t attend your live chats, but I want you to know that I follow your channel and that all of your topics are relevant to me and my life experience and help me tremendously. I love you lots thank you so much for what you do.🙏🏼🩵
Thank you! I appreciate your support and your kind words. 😊 And I'm so glad to know that the effort put into the channel is beneficial for you too. Much love to you!
Its very true. A total onslaught upon you and they rely on plausible deniability and gaslighting. Heavy!
This is so helpful. There is so much information about dealing with trauma that we pick up throughout life, dealing with difficult people and the aftermath of what is left behind with us emotionally. However there is a lack of communication on how to move on. Time is going to keep going no matter what emotional state we are in. I don’t want to live my life dwelling in past trauma, that’s not living at all. This talk was so encouraging to me because I push myself to think forward, not to allow myself to get stuck in a bad mindset and especially not peddle backwards. Yes trauma changed us but we still have life and we can choose to live and not just exist.
That's really good to hear! So glad this is helpful to you.
And I very much agree there is a lack of focus on how to move on. Some of the reason why is because it's not an easy subject to discuss without mentioning the spiritual components of this. Psychology and the spiritual realm have separated and so concepts and discussion have been separated as well. We certainly need to bridge this gap so we can have more of these discussions.
Tamara you make a lot of sense. Trauma isn't going extinct, it's almost like a household word. I think it can cause pain physically, mentally, emotionally. It can also make you stronger. I broke some of mines through therapy and spiritualality. I mixed science with Gods blessings I'm a average person I don't have a lot of drama and I take care of myself on a broken budget. I don't pray for money or food, instead I thank God for what he provided for me that day. Thank you for your knowledge.
Thank you 😊
I appreciate your humble focus and gratitude as you state "...instead I thank God for what he provided for me that day."
Wisdom indeed. Glad this discussion was helpful too.
I’ve tried to break free, by telling my mother that I simply wanted to move out to live closer to work. She completely blew up in my face, called me “selfish”, “hurtful” and told me that I was “abandoning” the “family”. Unfortunately, my contract wasn’t renewed for my job, so I couldn’t move out anymore, she acted like she felt bad for me, but I knew she didn’t. She made it seem like God was punishing me because I wanted to live on my own, so that’s why my contract wasn’t renewed and because I was being so “selfish” and “hurtful” towards her for wanting to have a life of my own. Afterwards, once we began to move, she proceeded to tell me, “I’m so glad you came around,” as if me moving out meant that I simply just lost my mind and I went “crazy”. I need a life of my own no matter what, I deserve to be happy.
It’s hard not to have a fixed mindset when you’re stuck and trapped with an emotional manipulative and controlling mother with no life, no friends, and now no job. It’s completely debilitating and depressing.
I can relate to this in several different ways. My “mother” has been very controlling, manipulative and even at times I’ve experienced her even showing jealousy towards me. I’m in my 40’s married, with 2 kids. And I’m just discovering how much of a negative impact “she has done and tried to do to me”
I think I’ve finally reached the point of going no contact. 😳 I would have never thought to do this due to me being raised in the church. However O have discovered how the teaching of the scripture “honor thy father and thy mother” was taken out of context and was used by my parents for their personal gain against me.
God has set me FREE I’m walking in my healing daily. It has not been easy. But YOU deserve to happy! Please know God did not allow that “job transfer to fail” sometimes ppl can try to wish ill will against a person especially if they are benefiting from having this person in their lives.
I saw your comment and I thought I would write to say. Don’t give up! You deserve to be happy!
@@faithgirl8844 Thank You for the encouragement and kind words, I’m glad I’m not alone. Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy, I doubt myself, and question my thoughts and feelings, because that’s how my mother makes me feel. The gaslighting, ridicule, guilt-tripping, shaming, emotional manipulation, etc. I’m ready for God to set me free as well, as soon as possible. I can’t live like this anymore, but I will overcome this no matter what, I will be set free.
@@faithgirl8844 Thank You so much for the encouragement and kind words. I don’t know what happened to my previous comment. But I appreciate you reaching out to me, I’m praying for God to set me free as well. Even if I had a healthy and normal relationship with my mother, I still would want to have a life of my own, move out, get married and have kids, etc.
How did you navigate creating a life for yourself, I’ve been trying to do that as well, but it seems impossible?
@@faithgirl8844 I don't understand why my comments keep getting deleted, but Thank You for the encouragement and kind words.
@@faithgirl8844 Hopefully this comment won't get deleted, but Thank You for the encouragement and kind words, any update on your no contact journey? How did you navigate leaving your mother? I was obviously gaslighted when I tried.
UA-cam will make the VERY LIVELY chatbox available within a few hours of this chat ending. STAY TUNED!
If you missed the "closed-minded," fixed-mindset chat, click here: ua-cam.com/users/livebXebzZzTWys?si=zmgtktSmzfmeCb1F
TYSM Tamara for the wonderful caring discussion and as always I've learned something from listening. I feel I may be suffering from compassion fatigue.. still at 70 yrs old from trying to be there for my 48 yr old special needs Trans daughter all of her life. We only have each other and I will never turn my back on her as so many others have. She call's me several times a day as she worries about me and I worry about her equally. We live an hour away from each other via the trains in the NY tristate area. Trying desperately to get her housing close to me in CT which would alleviate some concerns..but it seems impossible. Pls pray for us. Ty 😢🙏🏾
🙏🏽 I'm so sorry you are going through this. You are a good mom for doing this for your child. I can only imagine the uphill battles you face in this dynamic. Only God and a "growth mindset" can carry you through to the end of this test. May God give you strength and wisdom.
I very much enjoyed your video today. Thanks for sharing.
So glad! Thanks so much. It was very much a spiritual topic.
@@FreeOkie 👍😊
Always bringing light great work
Thank you so much! I appreciate that.😊
❤❤😊yes so true Tam
This is like a nice long hug! Thank you Tamara for sharing all of this for us! ❤
I'm so glad! You're welcome!💖 And thank you for being a supporter of this channel.
❤❤❤❤it really is
Omg! Yes!! I struggle with reading my Bible but when I do it makes me calm
🙌Yes, I totally agree. Sometimes it's hard to "settle down" in a busy or active life to reach for the best book in the world. But once you do, it's worth it!
Thank you so much. I just came across this, and it is exactly what I need tonight ❤
You're welcome! 💖 So glad this was helpful to you. I've been there. Perfect timing is divine.
This is a divine timing. Thank you Tamara.
I'm so glad you are finding it helpful! 😊 Amen. And you're welcome.
Yes I am empowered with you and the group support 😊TYSM guys
I'm so glad! 😊Keep going!
Thank you for your gift I appreciate you immensely.
🙏💖 I'm glad it was helpful! You're welcome and thanks so much!
❤me too
@@TherapistTamaraHill ♥😘❤
Sorry i missed it live. Great video, Tamara!!! 😊
Thank you!!😊 Glad you were able to catch the replay!
I always catch the replay! 😅@@TherapistTamaraHill
@@TherapistTamaraHill I really needed to hear this though! 🎉
👍👍🙊
I'm 40 and feel like I have noone to form a close relationship with. I sound immigrant even thou I have dual citizenship but my foreign accent isn't perceived attractive to others
I get this
I’m sorry you feel this way. I hope you’re able to form friendships with people who will really like and care for you. You deserve this! ❤️🩹 Don’t give up.
Agree Tam is heaven sent.
Such a powerful video! 🚀 The breakdown of fixed vs. growth mindset is eye-opening, and I love the insights on intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. The meta-cognition section really makes you rethink how we think! 🤯 I’ve definitely noticed the difference in my own life when shifting from a fixed to a growth mindset. 💪
For everyone watching, what has been your experience with intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation? How have you applied the 3 questions to push yourself forward? Drop your thoughts and stories below - let’s get a discussion going! 👇 Let's inspire each other to keep moving up & on! 🔥
🗣Intrinsic Motivation💯‼️...I want to be over there for the rest of my life...# MetaCongnition #growthmindset😂
23:00
Syper Woman!!! 😅
🙌😂😊
I mean SUPER! This gurl literally does it all.😂
Wow...I remember that #IMDONE moment 😢...IT'S #ESSENTIAL ♥️
9:30
GREETINGS AND GRATITUDE TAMARA 🫂✨️💖✨️💐.🙏🏾
You're welcome! 😊Thank you! Hope you are doing well.
Tamara, I don’t attend your live chats, but I want you to know that I follow your channel and that all of your topics are relevant to me and my life experience and help me tremendously. I love you lots thank you so much for what you do.🙏🏼🩵
Thank you! I appreciate your support and your kind words. 😊 And I'm so glad to know that the effort put into the channel is beneficial for you too. Much love to you!