😂😂😂Here in Africa we let children to be children. We went dancing in the rain when we were young butt naked and we never bothered. We were not taught to see the opposite sex that young. But that changed when we grew up to a stage where we were considered mature enough to handle difference in gender, sex etc. It is normal to find young children running around naked😅
@@TheResidentialTourists my childhood was filled with adventure. Tree climbing, going to the river to play when we went to the villages, we used to disappear the whole day to go play and only return in the evening. Food was least of our worries when we were playing. But at the same time, we were taught bounderies. And importance of respecting elders and other people's properties. For example, my parents allowed us to climb trees and building, but the rule was to not dare come home with injuries. That would have attracted punishment. So we were always careful. I remember we used to light small jikos to cook when we were minors to cook tea and ugali with our friends. I ate the brown grasshoppers we caught and cooked when I was that young. It was sweet, but I have never dared eating it as an adult. We were left to explore the world (our surroundings) and learn from it. Anything that didn't make sense, we asked adults near us. It was total freedom.
@@TinakishO I went through that we always played papa and mama i always acted papa na my crush girlfriend as mama😂😂😂. Later on my parents moved us ( my springs)to different town i lost contact with my childhood friends. I recently heard my crush got married na she 4 kids now😂😂😂
@@Deggoo 😂😂😂 the good old cha mama and cha baba! Good memories. Kalongolongo was the lit always. And then westernization came in and the current children seem to be missing.
Brother and sister this is one of the most interesting, insightful, and revealing conversations I've been witness to on youtube as it relates to Africa! It makes me think of think of similar things I've seen living in Ghana and didn't quite understand at least not in the way you have revealed. I did notice an abundance of freedom with children which I thought was amazing but I also witnessed such out of control behavior by children while the parents acted like it was all good and I couldn't understand. Now I understand because you have made it plain! Something you also shed powerful light on is the fact that even with what we preceive as bad behavior as little children in Africa is juxtaposed to how well behaved and respectfut they are especially towards elders when they reach a certain age. I never considered the fact that we are so concerned as to how our children behave in public and how it's tied to our slave past and not wanting them/to appear a certain way to master and the former slave masters children. This for me is a powerful insight and piece of critical knowledge! Thanks for sharing. I just wish all of Black America could hear what you have shared!!!! I will definitely share the video. Thanks again! It's deeper than I imagined. lol.
I love this conversations. It always feels like there is a healing happening with each conversation that takes place and it’s just heartwarming because the audience can also feel it.❤
When we were young here in Kenya, my parents had very few rules. Dont ever embarrass them. Whatever that means was broad. Whatever you do, climbing trees you make sure that you dont fall down. If you do dont come to us crying. If you come crying that earns you a proper whipping. If you want to fight out there make sure you win the fight. Incase you lose dont come back home crying. If you come back crying then you will be whipped. Such rules will make you close your challenges very well. It prepares you to know what to do or not to do.
Growing up in the 80s the boundaries we were taught as kids was respect for elders (top of the list), how to behave in front of guests or while out visiting, respect for other people’s property, what time to get back home & bathing time. Schools had their own set of rules. Since the boundaries were clear and were similar across most homes, there was freedom for kids to be kids. We were never micro managed as kids as we knew what was expected of us. Once in a while of course we could stray and a look from your parents could remind you the consequences of what you were doing 😂 In the 80s, Nairobi had a lot of empty spaces. I remember going out with my kid friends to hunt with dogs especially during school holidays. We hunted birds and rabbits, we ate fruits from city council trees, cooked in tins, swam in pools of water, slid down muddy slopes, played with balls made of plastic bags etc. Visit to the village with all our cousins was also common and the rules were the same with accompanying freedom for us as children. When I talk to my friends brought up during the same period, we all share almost similar childhood stories. Colourism was never a subject for me. I wasn’t ever conscious of my skin color till I started traveling out of Africa in my adult life.
Children growing up in urban areas is totally different from children growing up in the countryside. In the countryside children are allowed to be children but in the urban areas, parents have to consider how others are going to react.that's why you find at least once a year, those living in urban areas travel to the countryside with children to enable them to learn their cultural values and heritage. The values in urban areas are somehow contaminated and too much judgement and that prevents parents from allowing their children to just be children because of fear of being judged. In the countryside it's totally different as children spend most of their time with other children allowing the parents to do other things. Remember in most African settings a child belongs to the community and not only their parents.
Insightful conversation and observations. After spending a lot of time in Ghana, I realized myself that children are allowed to be children. It’s beautiful to see, yet triggers me at the same time. I think that how we parent and were parented as Black Americans is deeply rooted in fear and trauma. Ironically though, to the same degree that African children are free to be children in play, their level of discipline and respect for adults in commendable. I am here for the healing. ❤️🩹
I believe your environment will dictate your behavior. If you are living in an environment that is detrimental and deadly to your being, you will act accordingly. There is no such thing as total freedom and as a parent you have to teach your children no matter where you are there are boundaries to your freedom. When your freedom invades the freedom and tranquility of another person, there is where your freedom ends.#B1 💔💔🖤🖤💚💚
Great topic! This really resonated with me as a parent, because we have such unreasonable expectations for our children as AAs and don't always realized that there is a historical and cultural context. Also, we have visited Africa and didn't feel the restrictiveness that we feel here in the US. It's great to know that our children can potentially be more of who they are in the Motherland. Thank you for this conversation!
I was raised in Kenya, and my mother would never, never let us misbehave in any case, particularly in public. Some of the new gen parents are clueless on proper parenting. The world has really changed.
This is very insightful, if I was back home in Kenya, I could have related the way I did now that I live in the U.S.A. You have to see both world to really comprehend it. Which it all makes sense now.
Very interesting conversation with clarity and insights of the AA culture that seemingly stem from common African ancestry yet so different from Africans. From an African perspective, children are classified into age-sets and age-groups what the Bantus call "Rika" especially in Kenya. These sets or groups define their behaviours and social characters at home, in public or within closed social circles. *Age group 0-5yrs is sheer freedom and pampering. Kids at this age are left to grow and observe with little restrain from adults. This is the group that you've noticeably observed in your outings. They're a nightmare to especially young parents but darlings to their grand parents,uncles and aunts. *Age 5-10, kids are taught boundaries and other dos and donts in various settings. Responsibility and accountability starts to creep in and they're given errands and chores with expectations and deadline. At this stage, they're still allowed freedom for mischief while with peers but respect to elders. This is where both boys and girls play dawn to dusk, climb trees, storm other homesteads and turn them into rowdy playgrounds. Punishments are severe when boundaries are crossed. Fight out there but don't come back crying. Climb all mango trees but don't come back with a broken limb. Play with your friends but don't be reported for disrespect or anything unbecoming. This is where any adult would punish a kid on the spot and on learning of it later, the parent would punish the kid even the more! This is the toughening stage. Survival instincts and navigating outside home environments are acquired here. *Age 10-Teens the kids transition into initiations and taught cultural identities. Gender roles are defined and public conduct spelt out. Boys within same age-set are socialized together and can't behave like those below their age group. Girls start to detach from companies of boys and stick with their elder sisters, aunts and mothers. At home, they're left in charge when parents are away. In the olden days, they would be send to stay with a far away relative for a short period. Nowadays they're sent away in boarding schools to be independent and get exposed to other cultures,norms and people. Towards the end of this stage, they're more toned down. Despite the raging teenage energy,peer influence and pressures, this stage is the most responsible,calm and respectful due to expectations from family, school,church or whatever club ascribed to. -As such, children's growth,conducts and expectations in most African cultures are in defined stages. Live and let live while younger, mischief with boundaries thereafter then responsibility and societal expections at the end. As they enter into young adulthood going to college and job markets, they already have experienced all worlds within their spheres and can navigate independent adult life with ease.
Nice show but you people should visit rural areas and see how children are brought up. there is a huge difference with the way children are brought up in the cities compared to rural areas. Africa community believe strongly in caning as away of instilling discipline. if you go to the rural areas you will see a lot of that also children become responsible at a very early age.
But a2year old in America can cuss you out and the 15 year old momma will help do it. To me, they make much better adults yhan America. They work, most are respectful to elders, minds and bodies are strong. I think the western Munzanga ways are the ones in error.
There's something Mr. Mohammed has a concern about which he's pretty much right. He is saying freedom must be accompanied with some amount of regulation in children. I'm going to honestly admit that the Kenya you've come to is not how children our generation grew up like. I'm sorry to say Kenya is experiencing a ploriferation of absentee Fathers in the families due to the toxic feminism imported from the west. As a man Mr. Mohammed quickly see & identify a problem in children being let negligently free without some amount of regulation according to what venue it is especially in the public space. Without the man in the Kenyan families today disciplining of children has been thrown off the windows. The Kenya you've found is unfortunately not the true authentic Africa it used to be during our generation. This is especially so much so in the urban centers i.e Nairobi....
The challenge is, to NOT LIMIT the growth and potential of a child's development, that could lead to - unintended outcomes and unrealistic expectations - as they develop. ❤ ❤ Great Points
We were at a Kenyan community meeting in the US and this little boy took off his pants and started running and the rest of us started laughing. Then the father told us how he had been called to the daycare because his son was in the habit of doing that. He said that he scolded that he was just being a kid and would grow out of it. He didn't understand why that was something he had to be called about.
I noticed when I visited Dubai how free the children are to laugh and scream and run around. We’re from a unique place that requires unique circumstances. When our children grow up they have a higher likelihood of doing something simple that can land them in jail. I was a bit harder on my son for that reason. You kind of have to walk a finer line here and I don’t blame that on myself. That’s just where we’re from.
Very interesting topic. I do feel we have to unlearn things from slavery discipline- if you are in a different society that feels differently about how children should be- its truly an unlearning - and .mazungus always allowed their children to be free until a certain age before they were schooled in manners
Very nice discussion. I would love you to read a bit about mau mau uprising, or check the national archives. The uganda railway story. I think this things will give you a backdrop to the history of kenya. Nice conversation.
for your sore throat take amoxicillin or take ginger, garlic crash it in a mortar and put it on a sieve. Pour hot water over the sieve and fill a glass .squeeze three limes into the glass. make the concoction three times a day to clear it off.
In Africa your child belongs to the whole village which means if the child misbehave outside he or she can whop by another person even the child will beg you not to telk his or her parents cos the punishment will be more harsher.
Please do a COLOR CONSCIOUSNESS on Sunday so we can join in and give different perspectives from Kenyans now living in the USA and vice versa. DEEP TOPIC
Thank you for a much needed discussion, we do have various behaviors due to our traumas of being raised under the continuous dehumanizing traumas of servitude and enslavement living under muzungos and their institutions..more of such discussions are needed...
So I'm sitting in a village church and watching children under 5 years dance sing and walk around free, I'm thinking this would never happen at home. I've also been in many school campuses where you can hear a pin drop. Boundaries are taught as children age in school, however their free spirit is not squashed before they get to school. I miss the quiet respectful ways of Ugandan children when i get home.
I think the culture we were raised in has scarred us... i look at the young beautiful ladies riding on the back of a boda boda.. so close to the driver... That would never work with a young American driver... the sexual energy we are accustomed to in the USA is not as open here. Beautiful and fine women are everywhere but the men are not salivating..my son cane to visit and it was like "down boy!" When I first came to Tanzania and saw a 2 year old walking about my first thought was " where is your momma!" The little children walk home from school. Not in USA! To me, the children do better. Not as much mental health issues, depression, same sex issues...as the USA
Children belonged to the community. Sadly things are changing. A random adult could scold or punish you for doing something wrong out there, even without knowing your parents. The whole community raised kids. Nowadays, parents don’t want people to touch their children and that is why we are raising a spoiled generation.
in Africa children blong to the community and are allowed to be children and any parent can correct correct them. for children there is no sex difrence till they learn and that will happen when the children starts to notice and will be consiuse. however some parents are careless like in the case you site one can call out the parent for it. Most of the time it taks an elderly person to call out a careless parent.
I think it's a generational shift. I'm Kenyan. Born in the 90s grew up in the noughts my fiance and I have stories of very strict parents growing up and i'm sure many Kenyans have the same (very interesting 🤣) stories... my generation has generally decided to swing the other way, to allow many more liberties to the children.
We were brought up by parents who were the first to separate from the extended family to work for a living. They were stricter than the ones who lived a purely traditional African lifestyles before the introduction of judiciary, school, taxes etc
While we could not agree about what it is, that you are all dealing with! Truly, we celebrate your challenges, but we are much older, but when we consider, all of these things, we understand & our cultures are so different! Only TMH will make us all know, what is right in our conviction, that he will correct! We look forwa d to his judgement!
Interesting. I can't really say anything about how children are raised in Africa, even though I have been north (Egypt), south (South Africa), east (Kenya) and west (Senegal). But what I can say is that from an overall moral atmosphere, Africans across the continent seen to have much higher moral standards than Americans, whether black, white, Hispanic or whatever. I just haven't seen foolishness and crazy going on in Africa like I see in the U.S.
Black people are all over the world and each black person from each part of the world has variation in culture which is very large. Black people 3rd generation are in all countries south America, India Saudi Arabia ,oman , Iran ,pakistan,caribean ,north America and Canada.
Hello Muhammads. Let me tell you. Moms of today in Kenya are different. That is not how my mom raised us as kids in the 70s, 80s and 90s. I guess parents nowadays are a little softer to their kids now. We used to be given a lecture in our home before we went to visit relatives or my parents' friends. To be well-behaved, not to touch nothing, and for me as a girl, was taught how to sit like a girl with legs closed. All that was existing back in the day. Not talking while adults are talking in the living room. Generally to respect our elders. Even when we would play in the streets and an adult wanted to pass through we would stop playing and would let them pass and then we would proceed with our games in the middle of the street roads. We were not raised so differently than A American families. But today am sure you will also agree that globally almost even in America kids are mostly given a pass in many things, and even misbehavior is never corrected even in some black families here in America. So I guess it's just a different time, unfortunately. Great conversations.
I think we had rules as kids but were also very few because we spent most of out time playing outside with other kids. When you had visitors in the house you had to behave or you could not go to the living room where the visitors were.
As a diasporan I feel like Americans are always extra careful about everything. In a bus they’d rather stand than sit next to someone, even if they do sit, it’s at the edge and they look mad uncomfortable. About kids, I see where she’s coming from, those kids might look undisciplined but years to come they’ll be the most disciplined kids. Won’t talk back to their teachers and parents. Also it’s sad how American culture has sexualized kids…let kids be kids it’s not for long!!
We allow children to be children as Africans and that's what you saw or heard. You just allow them to to be free and communities understand that very well.
Greetings Residential Tourists, great conversation! Yes, there are vast differences between African tribal culture and the culture of Europeans. Most African Americans and many Africans are European clones as a result of direct colonialism and the transatlantic enslavement. The European historical culture stems from Barbarism and is still practice for the most part this very day worldwide as they feel that they don’t have to change, total arrogance. Most Africans have forgotten their traditional ancient culture OF generations and adopted the barbaric culture of barbarism. *NOTE* ALL-COMMENTS (Past, Present, and Future) ARE PURELY SPECULATIVE AND THEORETICAL IN NATURE. Thanks for sharing.
The little kids running around naked is normal it doesn't raise an eyebrow in Kenya especially in a village setting. We usually let the little kids get away with a lot of stuff. When they get to a certain age like 6 years old the parents become stricter and start teaching them how to have boundaries but respect to elders is taught from an early age. But then these young parents are more lenient than our parents were to us. I lived in Maryland and I recall kids talking back to their parents and that was an absolute no no when I was growing up.
The beating of the child has often more to do with the style of parents or family the children have. The whooping in my case from our Dad was more having to sit there and have him give long winded lectures (stuff like you're putting our last names thru shames) also known as "You don't do such and such, under this last name" . Only times it got physical if you fought a family member and the elders found out. But when it came to the mother's family, since they were poor financially, now that's where it got to squatting with back against the wall with a whole cement brick on your head for hrs or lean upside down with your head on the ground and legs up in the air until the Uncle or older brother had enough or a female family member (usually favorite Auntie or mother) came thru the rescue of "I think he had enough and learned his lessons to not do that again." And she'll tell you to tell the punisher "I won't do it again, forgive me" It all depends on the child's acting skills to walk out of a punishment. All children are not equal actors
Don't let those parents you saw fool you. Kenyan parents will let children be children but what they can get away with depends on the age the child is. A little child under 5 years old will get away with lots of things but a 8 year old and older not so much. Also you should look at the environment the child is in. Children in these rich neighborhoods tend to be more "free" than children from other neighborhoods. In these rich neighborhoods they have the mzungu way of bringing up kids. And you will find kids there are more "spoilt" then the average Kenyan kids. That is they don't have the same level of discipline and respect. So when you go to these malls and establishments and you see kids acting up just know those are probably the"rich kids".
Good conversation. I was born and raised in Nairobi and my parents would never have allowed me to run wild in public. They used body language to express their feelings in public🤣. Probably its because they grew up during colonial days.😂
Children in Kenya are too spoilt and unruly. If they visit your house they spoil everything, your furniture, finish all your food and drinks. In Ghana kids are disciplined, behave well,same as kids in South Africa etc
I am an African even though for most of my life I have lived in the West.For me Mrs Muhammad insight is spot on . especially from 28:00 onwards. what makes me think that even though I love my children, my instruction is the best for them?
Youre right. Western culture is traditionally more regal... Compared to African culture which for example did not have the prison system(precolonial) and basically parents(women ) brought up children and sent them to their grandparents house to gether with their cousins upon becoming teens. Grandparents are known to have an easygoing parenting style... Its different now with introduction of western "civilization", and breakdown of the extended family unit. Some families are more stricter than others with their children but that does not seem to apply on child play outside the house for most parents ...
The lady's examples are not typically African! In Ghana, and other countries I have lived in(5 in West Africa) would not behave the way she described. Perhaps in East Africa! A lot of our kids go to boarding schools, some as young as 5 years, when discipline is paramount.
The disciplinarian culture you might have expected is varied across Africa even varied across ethnic groups and tribes. East and South Africa seems more Liberal than the west & north of Africa. I might be wrong
our system is very harsh from police to parents to school. An example is students are still whipped in kenya using a whip abelt,electric cables which cannot be tollerated or accepted in America. Summary execution of a criminal Infront of media and civilians can not be tolerated in usa but its sometimes accepted in african countries.
@@DawnOchieng-yo4el if you attended schools in Nairobi you are lucky .the higher the grade the bigger the cable any mistake is 10 strokes of the cane and more . people from the west can't survive.The prison system is child's play they can't our system is diluted but still harsh .
@@geraldtabu-or2jr I attended my primary school in Nairobi.There was canning but not to that extremes.Our teachers used some elastic rubber or sticks but definitely not a belt or electronic cables.If you underwent that,that was so extreme and I wish no child undergoes that in future.And yes,canning in the 90s is what made us be the kind of people we are today. Disciplined,Accountable and responsible.It funny thing was that if you are canned in school and come repor to your mama,there would be WWW3 in that home that evening.
😂😂😂Here in Africa we let children to be children. We went dancing in the rain when we were young butt naked and we never bothered. We were not taught to see the opposite sex that young. But that changed when we grew up to a stage where we were considered mature enough to handle difference in gender, sex etc. It is normal to find young children running around naked😅
Wow. Now that's FREEDOM 😂😂😂
@@TheResidentialTourists my childhood was filled with adventure. Tree climbing, going to the river to play when we went to the villages, we used to disappear the whole day to go play and only return in the evening. Food was least of our worries when we were playing. But at the same time, we were taught bounderies. And importance of respecting elders and other people's properties. For example, my parents allowed us to climb trees and building, but the rule was to not dare come home with injuries. That would have attracted punishment. So we were always careful. I remember we used to light small jikos to cook when we were minors to cook tea and ugali with our friends. I ate the brown grasshoppers we caught and cooked when I was that young. It was sweet, but I have never dared eating it as an adult. We were left to explore the world (our surroundings) and learn from it. Anything that didn't make sense, we asked adults near us. It was total freedom.
Amazing
@@TinakishO I went through that we always played papa and mama i always acted papa na my crush girlfriend as mama😂😂😂. Later on my parents moved us ( my springs)to different town i lost contact with my childhood friends. I recently heard my crush got married na she 4 kids now😂😂😂
@@Deggoo 😂😂😂 the good old cha mama and cha baba! Good memories. Kalongolongo was the lit always. And then westernization came in and the current children seem to be missing.
Just being YOURSELF is FREEDOM
✊🏾
Brother and sister this is one of the most interesting, insightful, and revealing conversations I've been witness to on youtube as it relates to Africa! It makes me think of think of similar things I've seen living in Ghana and didn't quite understand at least not in the way you have revealed. I did notice an abundance of freedom with children which I thought was amazing but I also witnessed such out of control behavior by children while the parents acted like it was all good and I couldn't understand. Now I understand because you have made it plain! Something you also shed powerful light on is the fact that even with what we preceive as bad behavior as little children in Africa is juxtaposed to how well behaved and respectfut they are especially towards elders when they reach a certain age. I never considered the fact that we are so concerned as to how our children behave in public and how it's tied to our slave past and not wanting them/to appear a certain way to master and the former slave masters children. This for me is a powerful insight and piece of critical knowledge! Thanks for sharing. I just wish all of Black America could hear what you have shared!!!! I will definitely share the video. Thanks again! It's deeper than I imagined. lol.
Thank you sir for your Insight
Important characteristics to take on the plane with us: Patience, Love and Tolerance. Thank you for the insightful convo, Muhammads! 🙏🏽
I love this conversations. It always feels like there is a healing happening with each conversation that takes place and it’s just heartwarming because the audience can also feel it.❤
When we were young here in Kenya, my parents had very few rules. Dont ever embarrass them. Whatever that means was broad. Whatever you do, climbing trees you make sure that you dont fall down. If you do dont come to us crying. If you come crying that earns you a proper whipping. If you want to fight out there make sure you win the fight. Incase you lose dont come back home crying. If you come back crying then you will be whipped. Such rules will make you close your challenges very well. It prepares you to know what to do or not to do.
Wow an eye opener indeed. This conversation is giving me the idea about the American discrimination. Great conversation.
Growing up in the 80s the boundaries we were taught as kids was respect for elders (top of the list), how to behave in front of guests or while out visiting, respect for other people’s property, what time to get back home & bathing time.
Schools had their own set of rules. Since the boundaries were clear and were similar across most homes, there was freedom for kids to be kids. We were never micro managed as kids as we knew what was expected of us. Once in a while of course we could stray and a look from your parents could remind you the consequences of what you were doing 😂
In the 80s, Nairobi had a lot of empty spaces. I remember going out with my kid friends to hunt with dogs especially during school holidays. We hunted birds and rabbits, we ate fruits from city council trees, cooked in tins, swam in pools of water, slid down muddy slopes, played with balls made of plastic bags etc.
Visit to the village with all our cousins was also common and the rules were the same with accompanying freedom for us as children. When I talk to my friends brought up during the same period, we all share almost similar childhood stories. Colourism was never a subject for me. I wasn’t ever conscious of my skin color till I started traveling out of Africa in my adult life.
Great conversation. Thanks for sharing. Love your videos. Keep them coming. PEACE.
Children growing up in urban areas is totally different from children growing up in the countryside. In the countryside children are allowed to be children but in the urban areas, parents have to consider how others are going to react.that's why you find at least once a year, those living in urban areas travel to the countryside with children to enable them to learn their cultural values and heritage. The values in urban areas are somehow contaminated and too much judgement and that prevents parents from allowing their children to just be children because of fear of being judged. In the countryside it's totally different as children spend most of their time with other children allowing the parents to do other things. Remember in most African settings a child belongs to the community and not only their parents.
Excellent conversation family.
Insightful conversation and observations. After spending a lot of time in Ghana, I realized myself that children are allowed to be children. It’s beautiful to see, yet triggers me at the same time. I think that how we parent and were parented as Black Americans is deeply rooted in fear and trauma. Ironically though, to the same degree that African children are free to be children in play, their level of discipline and respect for adults in commendable. I am here for the healing. ❤️🩹
I believe your environment will dictate your behavior. If you are living in an environment that is detrimental and deadly to your being, you will act accordingly. There is no such thing as total freedom and as a parent you have to teach your children no matter where you are there are boundaries to your freedom. When your freedom invades the freedom and tranquility of another person, there is where your freedom ends.#B1 💔💔🖤🖤💚💚
Great topic! This really resonated with me as a parent, because we have such unreasonable expectations for our children as AAs and don't always realized that there is a historical and cultural context. Also, we have visited Africa and didn't feel the restrictiveness that we feel here in the US. It's great to know that our children can potentially be more of who they are in the Motherland. Thank you for this conversation!
I was raised in Kenya, and my mother would never, never let us misbehave in any case, particularly in public. Some of the new gen parents are clueless on proper parenting. The world has really changed.
Nice content
This is very insightful, if I was back home in Kenya, I could have related the way I did now that I live in the U.S.A. You have to see both world to really comprehend it. Which it all makes sense now.
Very interesting conversation with clarity and insights of the AA culture that seemingly stem from common African ancestry yet so different from Africans.
From an African perspective, children are classified into age-sets and age-groups what the Bantus call "Rika" especially in Kenya. These sets or groups define their behaviours and social characters at home, in public or within closed social circles.
*Age group 0-5yrs is sheer freedom and pampering. Kids at this age are left to grow and observe with little restrain from adults. This is the group that you've noticeably observed in your outings. They're a nightmare to especially young parents but darlings to their grand parents,uncles and aunts.
*Age 5-10, kids are taught boundaries and other dos and donts in various settings. Responsibility and accountability starts to creep in and they're given errands and chores with expectations and deadline. At this stage, they're still allowed freedom for mischief while with peers but respect to elders. This is where both boys and girls play dawn to dusk, climb trees, storm other homesteads and turn them into rowdy playgrounds. Punishments are severe when boundaries are crossed. Fight out there but don't come back crying. Climb all mango trees but don't come back with a broken limb. Play with your friends but don't be reported for disrespect or anything unbecoming. This is where any adult would punish a kid on the spot and on learning of it later, the parent would punish the kid even the more! This is the toughening stage. Survival instincts and navigating outside home environments are acquired here.
*Age 10-Teens the kids transition into initiations and taught cultural identities. Gender roles are defined and public conduct spelt out. Boys within same age-set are socialized together and can't behave like those below their age group. Girls start to detach from companies of boys and stick with their elder sisters, aunts and mothers. At home, they're left in charge when parents are away. In the olden days, they would be send to stay with a far away relative for a short period. Nowadays they're sent away in boarding schools to be independent and get exposed to other cultures,norms and people. Towards the end of this stage, they're more toned down. Despite the raging teenage energy,peer influence and pressures, this stage is the most responsible,calm and respectful due to expectations from family, school,church or whatever club ascribed to.
-As such, children's growth,conducts and expectations in most African cultures are in defined stages. Live and let live while younger, mischief with boundaries thereafter then responsibility and societal expections at the end.
As they enter into young adulthood going to college and job markets, they already have experienced all worlds within their spheres and can navigate independent adult life with ease.
Thank you for this
Nice show but you people should visit rural areas and see how children are brought up. there is a huge difference with the way children are brought up in the cities compared to rural areas. Africa community believe strongly in caning as away of instilling discipline. if you go to the rural areas you will see a lot of that also children become responsible at a very early age.
This was an excellent topic and I've learned some new information! Thanks!
But a2year old in America can cuss you out and the 15 year old momma will help do it. To me, they make much better adults yhan America. They work, most are respectful to elders, minds and bodies are strong. I think the western Munzanga ways are the ones in error.
Very, very true. In fact, I (Brother Muhammad) mentioned that very sentiment to the Madame.
Your so right I just had the POLICE talk with my son.
There's something Mr. Mohammed has a concern about which he's pretty much right. He is saying freedom must be accompanied with some amount of regulation in children.
I'm going to honestly admit that the Kenya you've come to is not how children our generation grew up like. I'm sorry to say Kenya is experiencing a ploriferation of absentee Fathers in the families due to the toxic feminism imported from the west. As a man Mr. Mohammed quickly see & identify a problem in children being let negligently free without some amount of regulation according to what venue it is especially in the public space. Without the man in the Kenyan families today disciplining of children has been thrown off the windows. The Kenya you've found is unfortunately not the true authentic Africa it used to be during our generation. This is especially so much so in the urban centers i.e Nairobi....
The challenge is, to NOT LIMIT the growth and potential of a child's development,
that could lead to - unintended outcomes and unrealistic expectations - as they develop.
❤ ❤
Great Points
We were at a Kenyan community meeting in the US and this little boy took off his pants and started running and the rest of us started laughing. Then the father told us how he had been called to the daycare because his son was in the habit of doing that. He said that he scolded that he was just being a kid and would grow out of it. He didn't understand why that was something he had to be called about.
Wow
I noticed when I visited Dubai how free the children are to laugh and scream and run around.
We’re from a unique place that requires unique circumstances. When our children grow up they have a higher likelihood of doing something simple that can land them in jail. I was a bit harder on my son for that reason. You kind of have to walk a finer line here and I don’t blame that on myself. That’s just where we’re from.
Very insightful perspectives here. I would be very keen to pontificate with you when you have a moment.
Very interesting topic. I do feel we have to unlearn things from slavery discipline- if you are in a different society that feels differently about how children should be- its truly an unlearning - and .mazungus always allowed their children to be free until a certain age before they were schooled in manners
Very nice discussion. I would love you to read a bit about mau mau uprising, or check the national archives. The uganda railway story. I think this things will give you a backdrop to the history of kenya. Nice conversation.
for your sore throat take amoxicillin or take ginger, garlic crash it in a mortar and put it on a sieve. Pour hot water over the sieve and fill a glass .squeeze three limes into the glass. make the concoction three times a day to clear it off.
Thanks my friend 👍🏾
In Africa your child belongs to the whole village which means if the child misbehave outside he or she can whop by another person even the child will beg you not to telk his or her parents cos the punishment will be more harsher.
In africa I doubt if u can find a child or teenager answering back to the parents let alone cussing back
Please do a COLOR CONSCIOUSNESS on Sunday so we can join in and give different perspectives from Kenyans now living in the USA and vice versa. DEEP TOPIC
You may be on to something. We actually JUST began brainstorming our topic for this Sunday LIVE.
Thank you for a much needed discussion, we do have various behaviors due to our traumas of being raised under the continuous dehumanizing traumas of servitude and enslavement living under muzungos and their institutions..more of such discussions are needed...
You made me laugh. Bebe's Kids!
So I'm sitting in a village church and watching children under 5 years dance sing and walk around free, I'm thinking this would never happen at home. I've also been in many school campuses where you can hear a pin drop. Boundaries are taught as children age in school, however their free spirit is not squashed before they get to school. I miss the quiet respectful ways of Ugandan children when i get home.
Yes ma’am
Great teachers.
I think the culture we were raised in has scarred us... i look at the young beautiful ladies riding on the back of a boda boda.. so close to the driver... That would never work with a young American driver... the sexual energy we are accustomed to in the USA is not as open here. Beautiful and fine women are everywhere but the men are not salivating..my son cane to visit and it was like "down boy!" When I first came to Tanzania and saw a 2 year old walking about my first thought was " where is your momma!" The little children walk home from school. Not in USA! To me, the children do better. Not as much mental health issues, depression, same sex issues...as the USA
Children belonged to the community. Sadly things are changing. A random adult could scold or punish you for doing something wrong out there, even without knowing your parents. The whole community raised kids. Nowadays, parents don’t want people to touch their children and that is why we are raising a spoiled generation.
in Africa children blong to the community and are allowed to be children and any parent can correct correct them. for children there is no sex difrence till they learn and that will happen when the children starts to notice and will be consiuse. however some parents are careless like in the case you site one can call out the parent for it. Most of the time it taks an elderly person to call out a careless parent.
I think it's a generational shift. I'm Kenyan. Born in the 90s grew up in the noughts my fiance and I have stories of very strict parents growing up and i'm sure many Kenyans have the same (very interesting 🤣) stories... my generation has generally decided to swing the other way, to allow many more liberties to the children.
We were brought up by parents who were the first to separate from the extended family to work for a living. They were stricter than the ones who lived a purely traditional African lifestyles before the introduction of judiciary, school, taxes etc
@@shadora This is a very interesting theory! Could it be why we remember our grannies and grandpas as being more fun with letting us play around?
Hello family, WOW love your hair.
While we could not agree about what it is, that you are all dealing with!
Truly, we celebrate your challenges, but we are much older, but when we consider, all of these things, we understand & our cultures are so different! Only TMH will make us all know, what is right in our conviction, that he will correct! We look forwa d to his judgement!
My younger sibbling, as a child, would visit Kenya and not want to come back to America.
the best about travelling you learn one or two new things. You can pick the good from Africans and Africans can pick something good from you.
“I like Mzungu” me tooo girl! My friend and I use this here in America a lot instead of “white people”
Interesting. I can't really say anything about how children are raised in Africa, even though I have been north (Egypt), south (South Africa), east (Kenya) and west (Senegal). But what I can say is that from an overall moral atmosphere, Africans across the continent seen to have much higher moral standards than Americans, whether black, white, Hispanic or whatever. I just haven't seen foolishness and crazy going on in Africa like I see in the U.S.
You guys love mombasa more❤just like me i used to live there but relocated to nairobi,its developed but not for me😢
We love nairobi
Black people are all over the world and each black person from each part of the world has variation in culture which is very large. Black people 3rd generation are in all countries south America, India Saudi Arabia ,oman , Iran ,pakistan,caribean ,north America and Canada.
Hello Muhammads. Let me tell you. Moms of today in Kenya are different. That is not how my mom raised us as kids in the 70s, 80s and 90s. I guess parents nowadays are a little softer to their kids now. We used to be given a lecture in our home before we went to visit relatives or my parents' friends. To be well-behaved, not to touch nothing, and for me as a girl, was taught how to sit like a girl with legs closed. All that was existing back in the day. Not talking while adults are talking in the living room. Generally to respect our elders. Even when we would play in the streets and an adult wanted to pass through we would stop playing and would let them pass and then we would proceed with our games in the middle of the street roads. We were not raised so differently than A American families. But today am sure you will also agree that globally almost even in America kids are mostly given a pass in many things, and even misbehavior is never corrected even in some black families here in America. So I guess it's just a different time, unfortunately. Great conversations.
I think we had rules as kids but were also very few because we spent most of out time playing outside with other kids. When you had visitors in the house you had to behave or you could not go to the living room where the visitors were.
A topic like the economy you can agree with Africans
As a diasporan I feel like Americans are always extra careful about everything. In a bus they’d rather stand than sit next to someone, even if they do sit, it’s at the edge and they look mad uncomfortable.
About kids, I see where she’s coming from, those kids might look undisciplined but years to come they’ll be the most disciplined kids. Won’t talk back to their teachers and parents.
Also it’s sad how American culture has sexualized kids…let kids be kids it’s not for long!!
We allow children to be children as Africans and that's what you saw or heard. You just allow them to to be free and communities understand that very well.
Greetings Residential Tourists, great conversation! Yes, there are vast differences between African tribal culture and the culture of Europeans. Most African Americans and many Africans are European clones as a result of direct colonialism and the transatlantic enslavement. The European historical culture stems from Barbarism and is still practice for the most part this very day worldwide as they feel that they don’t have to change, total arrogance. Most Africans have forgotten their traditional ancient culture OF generations and adopted the barbaric culture of barbarism. *NOTE* ALL-COMMENTS (Past, Present, and Future) ARE PURELY SPECULATIVE AND THEORETICAL IN NATURE. Thanks for sharing.
The little kids running around naked is normal it doesn't raise an eyebrow in Kenya especially in a village setting. We usually let the little kids get away with a lot of stuff. When they get to a certain age like 6 years old the parents become stricter and start teaching them how to have boundaries but respect to elders is taught from an early age. But then these young parents are more lenient than our parents were to us. I lived in Maryland and I recall kids talking back to their parents and that was an absolute no no when I was growing up.
The beating of the child has often more to do with the style of parents or family the children have.
The whooping in my case from our Dad was more having to sit there and have him give long winded lectures (stuff like you're putting our last names thru shames)
also known as "You don't do such and such, under this last name"
.
Only times it got physical if you fought a family member and the elders found out.
But when it came to the mother's family, since they were poor financially, now that's where it got to squatting with back against the wall with a whole cement brick on your head for hrs
or lean upside down with your head on the ground and legs up in the air until the Uncle or older brother had enough or a female family member (usually favorite Auntie or mother) came thru the rescue of "I think he had enough and learned his lessons to not do that again."
And she'll tell you to tell the punisher "I won't do it again, forgive me"
It all depends on the child's acting skills to walk out of a punishment.
All children are not equal actors
Don't let those parents you saw fool you. Kenyan parents will let children be children but what they can get away with depends on the age the child is. A little child under 5 years old will get away with lots of things but a 8 year old and older not so much. Also you should look at the environment the child is in. Children in these rich neighborhoods tend to be more "free" than children from other neighborhoods. In these rich neighborhoods they have the mzungu way of bringing up kids. And you will find kids there are more "spoilt" then the average Kenyan kids. That is they don't have the same level of discipline and respect. So when you go to these malls and establishments and you see kids acting up just know those are probably the"rich kids".
Good conversation. I was born and raised in Nairobi and my parents would never have allowed me to run wild in public. They used body language to express their feelings in public🤣. Probably its because they grew up during colonial days.😂
Children in Kenya are too spoilt and unruly. If they visit your house they spoil everything, your furniture, finish all your food and drinks.
In Ghana kids are disciplined, behave well,same as kids in South Africa etc
Really? Did you see this /heard it from somewhere or experienced this? & Not nrb, the whole.of Kenya ??
I am an African even though for most of my life I have lived in the West.For me Mrs Muhammad insight is spot on . especially from 28:00 onwards. what makes me think that even though I love my children, my instruction is the best for them?
Youre right. Western culture is traditionally more regal...
Compared to African culture which for example did not have the prison system(precolonial) and basically parents(women ) brought up children and sent them to their grandparents house to gether with their cousins upon becoming teens. Grandparents are known to have an easygoing parenting style...
Its different now with introduction of western "civilization", and breakdown of the extended family unit. Some families are more stricter than others with their children but that does not seem to apply on child play outside the house for most parents ...
We(whee Outcha in South Ga) were raised not to make our family look bad?
Right
another big difference is your schools are not boarding schools and the schools have buses. .
In summary the system in African countries is harsh than usa it used to be very harsh.
The lady's examples are not typically African! In Ghana, and other countries I have lived in(5 in West Africa) would not behave the way she described. Perhaps in East Africa! A lot of our kids go to boarding schools, some as young as 5 years, when discipline is paramount.
You might get a different experience in West Africa on children raising culture
The disciplinarian culture you might have expected is varied across Africa even varied across ethnic groups and tribes. East and South Africa seems more Liberal than the west & north of Africa. I might be wrong
In addition to class or socioeconomics, as well as whether rural or urban...
Things like interracial marriages is seen as choice and not in a racial lens.
our system is very harsh from police to parents to school. An example is students are still whipped in kenya using a whip abelt,electric cables which cannot be tollerated or accepted in America. Summary execution of a criminal Infront of media and civilians can not be tolerated in usa but its sometimes accepted in african countries.
What? You're clearly not Kenyan and are cluelss. Corporal punishment on school kids was banned and is ILLEGAL for the last 15 or 20 years. By LAW.
Electric cables????dude which school did you attend?😂
This dude is sick. It's illegal to cane students. He must be some sick dude somewhere.
@@DawnOchieng-yo4el if you attended schools in Nairobi you are lucky .the higher the grade the bigger the cable any mistake is 10 strokes of the cane and more . people from the west can't survive.The prison system is child's play they can't our system is diluted but still harsh .
@@geraldtabu-or2jr I attended my primary school in Nairobi.There was canning but not to that extremes.Our teachers used some elastic rubber or sticks but definitely not a belt or electronic cables.If you underwent that,that was so extreme and I wish no child undergoes that in future.And yes,canning in the 90s is what made us be the kind of people we are today. Disciplined,Accountable and responsible.It funny thing was that if you are canned in school and come repor to your mama,there would be WWW3 in that home that evening.
The issue of race you cant agree with Africans ,politics and views on issues of marriage the differences are very wide.
Deprogramming