As I get older (going into my 50's) life seems strangely more dreamlike. My kids are growing up, people come and go and eventually it will be my turn. I'm not too anxious about it though because I've accepted the inevitable. I love life and death shows me how to live better.
Same, 50's, kids grown, simply cannot believe I am the same age my father took early retirement. No worries on death, we exist for a mere blink of an eye in the scheme of things. Peace.
@@quadq6598 aren’t you afraid of being eternally “shut off”? that’s what terrifies me. the amount of time that eternity is. i know we won’t be cognizant of it, but the fact that everyone whose ever existed is now or will be gone for the rest of time is horrifying.
@@ik1408 That is a good reaction ... and IMHO I am not demonizing russians. So, sorry if I hurt your feelings. But ... this said ... if you take a look at history, Peter the Great etc. , you might be surprised , about how many russian ppl actually trained for torture :-)
I'm afraid of death. Death is unknown. I don't believe we just turning off like a computer, I think there's going be something after it. I'm not talking about hell or heaven, I'm not even talking about continuation of your personality, but some kind of continuation of consciousness at least on some level. My biggest fear is not death itself, but losing myself, my memories, affection for loved ones etc. It terrifies me.
I feel ya, i really do. I had a thought on mushrooms once which helped me with that "Everything is temporary but nothing is forgotten". Can't say i know that for a fact, but it was comforting.
Has anyone wondered if people died from present day if they would meet any of the ppl from roman or egypt who perished or ppl that died in all past wars? I mean that would be interesting to think where are all those trillions of human beings currently doing on the other side and to think we all will end there....the thought of not knowing where we go is terrifying. Please don't say paradise, yes we humans can make things up in our brains, but WE DON'T KNOW! 😔
This could be a good follow up topic...why do we grieve the people we've lost? I lost my 17 yo son to cancer, and I cannot remove the void in my heart it has left. It effects me negatively every day.
I am so sorry for your loss. Im still trying to come to grips with losing a friend of mine years ago to suicide. It’s a real struggle, but you’re not alone.
you shouldn’t feel as though you have to remove that void. it’s there for a reason because you probably loved your son more than anything. i’m really sorry that happened though, life and death is brutal
I regularly imagine lying in my final moments and what kind of thoughts would be going through my head. It immediately gives me a very clear image of the things that truly matter to me and it helps me to appreciate life and show the people that I love how much they mean to me. We could all die tomorrow. Look around you. What really matters to you? Who do you need to talk to and to show love?
here are some random thoughts. watching my loved ones suffer then die makes me understand that there is existing and living. I’ve realized my own mortality several times now and am not so afraid of dying anymore. Broke my neck. Engine failed in my airplane. Had a round of chemo and lived without an immune system for weeks. Someone told me once that sleeping is death being shy. It’s true. I could have died every time and i could have passed as easily as falling asleep at night. I barely would be aware of it. One of these days i won’t be around and it won’t really move the needle of anything in any way. Sorta like voyager looking back towards the solar system and hardly being able to notice Earth. We really are something special but insignificant at the same time.
There's being alone and there's loneliness. The two are not the same thing. One is a state of being; the other a state of mind. One can empower and the other can cripple. Luckily, everyone has a choice on which one they give power and influence to.
Its the same state when like before your birth so true nothingness before your brain began the simulation there is no need to hurry in my opinion because you were dead eternally before your birth and you will be dead eternally after your death.For the short time of being alive try to get out of your current life in a different way and start over sometime in the future or at least make that plan and use it as a motivator.
he's vocally saying out loud...what we are all thinking. even if we distract ourselves. We all think it. He's searching you can plainly tell. . But we all are.
Whether heaven exists or not, the death we are guaranteed ends all and any kinds of suffering. Peace will come regardless. For now, we must enjoy the life we have
is the fear to become nothingness forever... at the end i see it as a coin flip ..50% we will be dead forever 50% there is something pleasant ...the bad ending vs the good ending ...
I'm 67, and I recognize diminution of nearly every aspect of my life: physical, motivational, intellectual, financial, health, sensory, etc. I have no reason to think that these processes will diminish their rates of deterioration. I'm not afraid of death per se, but I am offput with the idea of 25 more years of linear deterioration.
We need to flip this interpretation. The critique of TMT is that people may not actually fear death, but rather the unknown of how death will happen or the method of dying. What is universal is pain or sadness of leaving those one loves and not having completed aims
Its so amazing to see how your face already speaks a lot about the things that go inside your head. So many traits of your personality already shows on your face. It's like when you are born, your future attributes, qualities and traits are already written and your face just reflects it... sometimes it is not always true or it just depends on judgement.
When you get tired enough from working, spending time with friends, exercise etc. you start losing that fear. You just enjoy being a good person and having small pleasures throughout the week. If I really do fulfill my dreams then great, but I stopped giving almost any f**** whether that happens or not.
I'm glad it exists or I wouldn't know what our catalyst for appreciating the beauty of it all would be. We'd take life for granted, get bored, wish for a way out, and someone would invent death.
Thank you Lex for covering this topic. I've spent so much time pondering these questions. And I'm a power lifter/marathon runner. I have always preferred for my journey to be alone. It's the only way to master yourself
I am too. I Started to feel different at age 45 than 46 and now 47. I cannot even relate to the person I was 5 years ago. I’m in a good spot but am happy with another 10 years and that’s it. I’m checking out
Once I turned 30, unfortunately, I began to think about death constantly. It’s given me a lot of stress and anxiety, but I’m slowly coming to embrace it and see it as a good thing. I can already tell it is something I will likely obsess over for the rest of my life, too.
since i had the same i recommend you to give you "steps"... like "i will think about it again when i will be 40...and see how things are". I had my steps at 28, 41 and 50 and each time i found some answers that comforted me a lot.
I’ve had this thought that reminds me of the Buddhist perspective she shared… that life is an illusion. We think of ourselves as living in a finite world, separate from one another, in a moment in time, but if we are brave enough to contemplate infinity we come to realize there is no end or beginning to anything. We are enmeshed in infinity. Our sense of separateness from Infinity is an illusion, but one that is beautiful and fun and gives life meaning. We must fear death in order to keep up the illusion. So to me, the choice is wether to keep up the illusion with a willingness to suffer, or give up the suffering, and with it, all the fun of the illusion.
I think when you're young and you haven't experienced loss in a major way death is something you fear. But when talking to most really old people they say yeah, had a good life, the world I know has gone and friends/family have passed you would be more than ready. Most fear not living a life. Live life without ego. Learn that yes your actions may not have an effect in the grand scheme of things but a life of helping others, loving others knowing you did some good is all most can ask for. Don't be so ego driven that you feel oh, I have to make a huge lasting impact or nothing I do is important long term. When I do an act of kindness I feel good, doing many acts of kindness knowing you made a difference is enough. Now think of the millions if not billions of people who have done the above and it all adds up. You matter and what you do matters even if there is no tangible quality that lasts in the minds of future generations etc. I know I'm glad my great great grandfather decided to work, live and love and now I am here. You carry a flame and cast that into the great fire that is humanity.
I don’t think it’s death so much as loss, that people fear, in much the same way people who are scared of heights are actually not, it’s more to do with the associated risk of falling, that is their fear. Regarding death, it’s that feeling of loss in no longer being able to be there for your loved ones or having big regrets in terms of not fulfulling your potential or making a good crack at it.
I'm always afraid to pour the last bit of cereal out of the box and into the bowl because it seems an analogy for finality. That box of cereal is just DONE. But if I leave a little in the box, then it never ended...Which leaves the problem that throwing it out seems kind of monstrous, too. So...basically I live among almost empty cereal boxes. I'm also afraid of commitment. ... :D
Interestingly these days I don't think about my own death much and concentrate mostly on what I am doing at the present moment. If it comes in I feel I settle it and accept it once again. I just don't really think about it anymore although when I watch something like this it reminds me of death. I am the kind of guy that is smiling at a funeral and hugging friends or family while everyone else is in years. I am just full of joy most the time so I try not to let dark times bring me to tears when most of the time I am naturally happy. I went to so many funerals when I was younger and used a meditative technique I learned from the Tibetan Book of the Dead to meditate on a dead body that now at funerals I don't react in deep grief over a dead body. I don't feel I suppress it and hold my feeling in but rather sustain the joy I have most days in life.
Those people are all charlatans trying to make a buck near death experience is not the same as being dead it’s just a hallucinogen station as your brain struggles to survive
"Nothing lasts forever" Lex If true then neither does death. Be not afraid. I fear getting sick and suffering more than death. Death probably is welcomed when you have been slowly wasting away for years. But if I'm totally honest it still scares me. I recently had to put my 13 year old German Short-haired Pointer down. I stayed in the room with her. It was one of the emotionally hardest things I have had to do. That really forces you to contemplate your own mortality.
Every awful thing that has happened to me has happened while I've been alive but I worry about death - weird. Hopefully it's just nothing or some form of awesome.
Once when I was stoned I was thinking about how time can seem to change, like sometimes time can fly and other times time can drag, then I thought what if when we are dying and our vision is just going what if time really seems to slow down, like really really slow and the last thing we see seems to go on for ever, because I was stoned this thought that I had seemed so believable. Now when I try and think of it not stoned I just think,, Mehh,,,,,
The way I see it: Death is scary only so far as a painful death and / or leaving the ones we love behind. But one of two things are likely to happen: Nothingness, which means no pain or cold at all, Lex. Or, there is an afterlife as NDE's suggest and we are timeless, at peace, and with our loved ones. As such, which ever is true, there is no cold, but simply one of two kinds of eternal peace.
@Turito Bassu In Canada, 4 terminally ill patients were granted access to it to treat their anxiety and depression. I'm optimistic it will become more available but at the same time, the experience really is no joke and not to be taken lightly. Here's hoping you can kick the liquor demons
Death is simply the absence of Life. There is nothing to be "afraid of" since it is a state without your presence. Being afraid of not living makes much more sense. The whole point is focusing on life enjoyment. Can you make your life a little better-happier-more meaningful? Happy moments is the best thing we can try to achieve. We are not in control of a lot of things. As the saying goes... We should try to work on things we can control, and have the wisdom to separate them from the ones we can't control.
I dont know if there is anything to this but what if the idea of death we are given in our culture is completely wrong. Its a story based off something unknown. The whole fear of non existence only arises in a logical mind that cant comprehend what it means to die since the brain only knows life. As a kid before I had "learned" about death and what our culture thought of it I was not scared at all. In my heart there was a knowing that its all good. One could argue that its just child ignorance but what if its not. As we grow we begin to identify with our mind and earthly constructs more and more. We bury ourself so deep in ideas and stories we lose touch with the basic principles of life. Our whole fear of death is built around our story of what it means to die. No one alive can know and thats the kicker. We can only speculate. The trouble is we have an animalistic brain that wants to live so when it is presented with the unknown of course its natural instinct is to want to run away from the very thing it is built to avoid. Its like the game shows where they have people stick their hands into a box blind folded. The person has no idea what is happening and you can see the mind freak out from something as innocent as touching a teddy bear. Death, to our brain, is the ultimate box. So then, because its the greatest unknown our mind can create whatever story it wants. It could be a teddy bear, or it could be non existence. If we get past our fear of it, the big scary box that keeps us shackled and chained (because of our fear based storyline) becomes the key to our freedom. It truly can become a giant ass teddy bear. The truth is we dont know what happens after we die, not even Sheldon, so the only goal when contemplating death should be to overcome the fear of the unknown. Once that fear is under control deaths story isn't so powerful. We are free to explore life and contemplate without bias. I have a personal rule when it comes to any set of beliefs and its this: I am truly okay with someone who believes in any specific dogma or practice so long as they are not believing out of fear. If you are a christian because subconsciously you are terrified of death so you run to another story to comfort you that is not okay simply because you are not free. However if you are truly okay with the idea of death and from a place of peace you resonate with Christianity then that is awesome because you chose to from a place of freedom.
There is no need to fear death. Everyone knows how it was being dead [the state before your birth the eternal nothingness where time didn't exist] or "dreamless" sleep some religions describe being born as awakening from an eternal sleep same goes for the "opposite". So it isn't painfull or boring or anything else its just a state of timelessness without thinking. The only thing that would bother me is to die too early and make some people around me sad. Since there is an eternety of death before me I try to look around have some fun do some work and live for the time being.
“Bushido is realized in the presence of death. This means choosing death whenever there is a choice between life and death. There is no other reasoning.” ― Yamamoto Tsunetomo, Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai “Rehearse your death every morning and night. Only when you constantly live as though already a corpse (jōjū shinimi) will you be able to find freedom in the martial Way, and fulfill your duties without fault throughout your life.” ― Yamamoto Tsunetomo, Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai
I'm not sure it's correct to think no other animals contemplate death...they know it. It's the obsession part that separates us...everything else...let's it go until the actual moment. They deal with it better than we do. Animals have their egos in check...we don't.
I had an NDE in my 20s. A type of stroke near 2 months ago ( am in late 60s ). As I have not totally died for good as yet , I must still have some purpose yet to fulfill in life - may possibly be to help just one individual. I think many people fear manner of death moreso than death itself.
For me its not death that scares me because death is going to happen to us all eventually, Being alive scares me more, because life is less predictable and with the current situations in the world, and the terrifying thought that if nukes exist they will be used one day, Id rather have a quick death than watch everyone around me "live" through something extremely painful & heart breaking, because anyone that survives will beg for death
I'd be affraid of death too if I lived without the belief and precepts of God. Afterlife exists and spirit "lives" on, which makes it important where you go. There are numerous testimonies of things people temporarily experienced in this regard on youtube.
At least he acknowledges that we're apes, and it's something I'm not very fond of being. I've made the best I could out of this body I'm in, I'm 165 lbs which is extremely heavy for a girl, especially a girl with no curves whatsoever but all muscles only, it's the way I've always wanted my body to be if I have to live in it, and it's fine for the time being. Fear of death is the fear of the unknown, and I won't lie, of course I fear it too. I've worked out my body so I'll be able to defend myself, so that I'm equal or superior to a male, so that no one can threaten me. But what when I die and I'll no longer be in this body? Will I still be strong then? I hope I will, and that my current body is a reflection of my inner strength, because it takes will power and determination to get there, to be an athlete and a warrior. There are people who had a glimpse beyond the Veil, and it seems to be different for everyone. The most important treasure we can hope to gain there is freedom, ultimate freedom, forever.
Skulls used to be a standard component on desks to visually remind us that our time is limited and to make the best of it - the ultimate motivation. Personally, death by astonishment as the late Terrance McKenna used to say would be my choice and if DMT/ayahuasca is any indication of what lies ahead in the next cycle of life and death, then I am looking forward to death when it's time will come, but I have a few more things to do yet...
I stopped caring about wanting to do things. Once you die, everything you ever did will not even be a memory. So for me is living minimalistic and have no desires or goals. Just live in the moment and accept what ever comes your way and greet death with open arms
Personally, I came across so many references to Becker's book in all my favourite podcasts, pop psych/philo lectures, and video essays (including those reviewing pop culture products) that I just decided to read the book cover to cover. And now everytime I see people discussing Becker, I sense that instead of discussing the ideas he presented threadbare, these discussions basically just rediscover the man himself, who is not TOO well known outside of these niche circles. Now that's fine and even desirable. But, is there something amiss here? Are we, especially the Western (and Christian) society capable of accepting his conclusions? That a Kierkegaardian leap of faith is the choice. That psychoanalysis and psychotherapy can only diagnose neurosis but not heal it in the way Religion can? That man must confront his mortality? What has changed in your lives after dissecting Becker so much? (This last question I ask as a person from a deeply religious society who adopted Western atheism early on but, after Becker and John Gray, is realising that even Western atheism and progressive humanism remains Christian at its core whilst denying it (and Death) on the surface.)
The fact Christianity values most things western atheism does does not mean western atheism is Christian. Just that some religions are more right than others.
She needs to NDE - start with Dr. Raymond Moody which is the father of this movement. Look on the Jeff Mara Podcast, some real good experiences, some not so good. So many out there to look at.
Death is absolute annihilation, eternal oblivion. The only "good" thing that we can say about death is that, once it's over, you won't care because "you" won't "be" anymore. The moments that preceed death are terifying as you feel your consciousness slipping into the abyss from which it will never return. But once the deed is done, it's over. Just an absolute "nothingness", the same "nothingness" that you arose from after billions of years since the Big Bang. Richard Dawkins said that the closest that we can get to what it's like being dead is being under a general anesthesia from which you will never wake up again. Of course, this is the closest that a Human can conceptualize it. Because even saying "being dead" makes no sense, since when you are dead you "are not". We Humans are the most cursed of all living creatures, because we have the ability to abstract and postulate, and with it we can predict our deaths. We are the only animal that knows that we are going to die. Religion is an eviolutionary "trick" that allows people to live with some peace to balance that terror. But, of course, religion is just wishful thinking.
It's great to hear someone like Eugenia talk about how terrified she is of death, because so am I. I rarely meet people or get to hear people that get it. Robert Kuhn with his show Closer To Truth, also gets it. For people like us, there's is nothing more important to us, than the survival of our consciousness after the death of our body. I wrote a song about it: ua-cam.com/video/DGCL7z58j74/v-deo.html
your song is very good....hey at the end is a 50-50 coin toss right ? or the good ending or the bad one ... the more that i get older the more the good ending seems a good possibility.
@@marknesser9602 is an horrible gamble in which we are all together... is really possible that what matter the most in reality, the most important movie that will be ever done, will have the bad ending ?
@@francesco5581 Will all the vast advancements of technology in Quantum Physics, someone should be able to do an experiment to prove whether or not our Consciousness will survive the death of our body.
This idea that death isn't a problem if you've lived each moment to the fullest strikes me as nonsense. I don't what to die because it shuts down all opportunities that have yet to happen. The opportunity to see tomorrow's sunrise cannot be realized today.
We are surrounded by religious structures created to wrap our fears in something consoling. Hardest thing to do is confront the most likely fact in front of us...we cease too exist in any form whatsoever...no memory of anything...for all of eternity...just gone....
I think our consciousness exists to serve the subconscious, the latter of which can not be aware of death. I believe the core of our being is no different than the core of any other animal, and our awareness of death is a by-product of our consciousness.
Death of the body yes our spirit never, which matters the most not being trapped in our body a celebration only the good place awaits bliss and the never ending kiss. Use your Mighty Mind
My thoughts on death- we were not here before we were born; we don’t complain about that 😉. Death is inevitable- we can’t do anything about it. nothing matters too much, everyone everything will disappear anyways; it’s a great equalizer; there’s nothing to be too much depressed about or proud about.. our differences (e.g. billionaire or a poor man) have no intrinsic difference in the context of eternity, an oppresor who commits injustice will also fade away soon from the world.. if there’s no death there might have been no desire for doing anything; everything could be postponed for a later time.. every activity might have some meaning, some urgency because our life clock is ticking. if we live an honest life true to our soul, we may have a true smile just before our departure from life.
Man. I'm tell you straight up. I am absolutely horrified of death and dying. Absolutely. I have always wanted to live forever. I mean...its really a good deal . in the 1970s forward... Roughly speaking....i say roughly. Not a bad deal...overall in life to be alive...it can be something...thats for sure. So why want it to end. Ya know. It works. Why fuck it up. Ya know.
We are not here to stay, we are here to pass away, there is one creator, to ask me how it is or what it is, is like to ask a blind person what is red or green. Life is very easy and beautiful and happy. We are very small in front of a being who have created universe easily. The universe that we can't even imagine. The creator of space time. Thank you Lex Fridman.
I'm not afraid of death, I'm afraid of immortality. I fear that this shit show never ends! If consciousness survives death and there is a ghost in the machine so to speak and we are forced to be an eternal participant, that thought and scenario frightens me to no end. There's actually a word for this fear of eternity: "apeirophobia".
@@jmoney1941 Yeah, who knows? People who want to exist forever in any capacity and/or reincarnate over and over totally baffle me and most of them haven't thought it through and are just scared not to exist. I'm the complete opposite! When this life ends I want it to truly END.
@@Darrell7777 Lol, really? I don't want it to end. But maybe there's an answer that we can't understand from our pov right now. This passage might give some insight. No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him. 1 Corinthians 2:9
@@jmoney1941 That's totally fine that you and others may want to live forever. My thing is that if we truly have free will then we will have carte blanche over our consciousness should it survive death.
one 'ciffer' today implied that one should be serious about politics and not make jokes about it. however, if you don't make jokes about it, considering how for many older people, at least me, politics becomes less predominant, while contemplating mortality becomes more so, why should one take politics so seriously considering how TERRIBLE it is in supporting people like me, who are still alive?
WOW!, is this true?, are people truly afraid of death?, that’s crazy!, that must be a horrible way to leave!, why is death even a conversation when death doesn’t even exist?
Thank you very much to both! "Russians being Russians" - what I think of when I read or hear this expression outside the most physical or spectacular context of youtube videos. This excerpt from the interview will rival that final excerpt from "Love and Death" by Woody Allen in my reference to the not-so-dated 19th-century caricature of Russian lucubrations. ua-cam.com/video/4huaX0UAFGM/v-deo.html
As I get older (going into my 50's) life seems strangely more dreamlike. My kids are growing up, people come and go and eventually it will be my turn. I'm not too anxious about it though because I've accepted the inevitable. I love life and death shows me how to live better.
Same, 50's, kids grown, simply cannot believe I am the same age my father took early retirement. No worries on death, we exist for a mere blink of an eye in the scheme of things. Peace.
well said
@@quadq6598 aren’t you afraid of being eternally “shut off”? that’s what terrifies me. the amount of time that eternity is. i know we won’t be cognizant of it, but the fact that everyone whose ever existed is now or will be gone for the rest of time is horrifying.
@@blotterdowney8075 I agree ☝️
@@blotterdowney8075 what is time though? if time and space are related then will space expand forever? will time go forever?
I love it when she tells Lex that she is terrified of death, then he keeps going ON AND ON about it!!! 😂😂😂
True but she seemed to find comfort in it when she listened to his thoughts on death. Sometimes talking about it helps.
as Lex mentioned a few clips b4 .. russians somewhat love suffering ;-) so they both may just have enjoyed themselves
@@ik1408 That is a good reaction ... and IMHO I am not demonizing russians. So, sorry if I hurt your feelings. But ... this said ... if you take a look at history, Peter the Great etc. , you might be surprised , about how many russian ppl actually trained for torture :-)
@@ik1408 I will take a look --- any recommendation (bookwise) ?
The whole segment is about exactly that!
I'm afraid of death. Death is unknown. I don't believe we just turning off like a computer, I think there's going be something after it. I'm not talking about hell or heaven, I'm not even talking about continuation of your personality, but some kind of continuation of consciousness at least on some level. My biggest fear is not death itself, but losing myself, my memories, affection for loved ones etc. It terrifies me.
I feel ya, i really do. I had a thought on mushrooms once which helped me with that "Everything is temporary but nothing is forgotten". Can't say i know that for a fact, but it was comforting.
Has anyone wondered if people died from present day if they would meet any of the ppl from roman or egypt who perished or ppl that died in all past wars? I mean that would be interesting to think where are all those trillions of human beings currently doing on the other side and to think we all will end there....the thought of not knowing where we go is terrifying. Please don't say paradise, yes we humans can make things up in our brains, but WE DON'T KNOW! 😔
This could be a good follow up topic...why do we grieve the people we've lost? I lost my 17 yo son to cancer, and I cannot remove the void in my heart it has left. It effects me negatively every day.
I am so sorry for your loss. Im still trying to come to grips with losing a friend of mine years ago to suicide. It’s a real struggle, but you’re not alone.
Stay strong Im sorry for your loss.It must be very hard on you
So so sorry sweetheart xxxxx
you shouldn’t feel as though you have to remove that void. it’s there for a reason because you probably loved your son more than anything. i’m really sorry that happened though, life and death is brutal
Sorry for your loss sir
I regularly imagine lying in my final moments and what kind of thoughts would be going through my head. It immediately gives me a very clear image of the things that truly matter to me and it helps me to appreciate life and show the people that I love how much they mean to me.
We could all die tomorrow. Look around you. What really matters to you? Who do you need to talk to and to show love?
here are some random thoughts.
watching my loved ones suffer then die makes me understand that there is existing and living.
I’ve realized my own mortality several times now and am not so afraid of dying anymore. Broke my neck. Engine failed in my airplane. Had a round of chemo and lived without an immune system for weeks.
Someone told me once that sleeping is death being shy. It’s true. I could have died every time and i could have passed as easily as falling asleep at night. I barely would be aware of it.
One of these days i won’t be around and it won’t really move the needle of anything in any way. Sorta like voyager looking back towards the solar system and hardly being able to notice Earth. We really are something special but insignificant at the same time.
There's being alone and there's loneliness. The two are not the same thing. One is a state of being; the other a state of mind. One can empower and the other can cripple. Luckily, everyone has a choice on which one they give power and influence to.
I love it when two introverts get together.
Sometimes I want to die not because of depression just out of curiosity
Me too. And get shot. I suppose it's a good thing I'm not a complete idiot LOL
Its the same state when like before your birth so true nothingness before your brain began the simulation there is no need to hurry in my opinion because you were dead eternally before your birth and you will be dead eternally after your death.For the short time of being alive try to get out of your current life in a different way and start over sometime in the future or at least make that plan and use it as a motivator.
@@szebike If we popped out of eternity, why can't we pop out of eternity again?
he's vocally saying out loud...what we are all thinking. even if we distract ourselves. We all think it. He's searching you can plainly tell. . But we all are.
Problem is a lot of us don't realize we're thinking about these things
Whether heaven exists or not, the death we are guaranteed ends all and any kinds of suffering. Peace will come regardless. For now, we must enjoy the life we have
I share the same level of utter terror as this lady is describing. There are only distractions, to varying degrees, but the fear is unshakable.
is the fear to become nothingness forever... at the end i see it as a coin flip ..50% we will be dead forever 50% there is something pleasant ...the bad ending vs the good ending ...
Man up
I'm 67, and I recognize diminution of nearly every aspect of my life: physical, motivational, intellectual, financial, health, sensory, etc. I have no reason to think that these processes will diminish their rates of deterioration. I'm not afraid of death per se, but I am offput with the idea of 25 more years of linear deterioration.
Tbh in my (30 years of) experience the only people who are genuinely not afraid of death are so due to that exact reason
Positively the best podcast out now.
Hands down 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
It’s not even close. Lex’s podcast has more information in 10 min of the show than most podcasts do in entire years. It’s perfect.
One more thing and then I’ll shut up: Lex is my hero. I really really dig his life view and his attitude. It’s positive and logical, both. I love it.
We need to flip this interpretation. The critique of TMT is that people may not actually fear death, but rather the unknown of how death will happen or the method of dying.
What is universal is pain or sadness of leaving those one loves and not having completed aims
Its so amazing to see how your face already speaks a lot about the things that go inside your head. So many traits of your personality already shows on your face. It's like when you are born, your future attributes, qualities and traits are already written and your face just reflects it... sometimes it is not always true or it just depends on judgement.
I'm really afraid of death, but, I'm more afraid of not living (i. e, doing almost everything I can do and want to do) than death.
I hope you will achieve and try everything you want to do !
Thats a good place to be my friend. I wish you well on your path
Sorry to break the news to you, but death and not living are the exact same thing.
When you get tired enough from working, spending time with friends, exercise etc. you start losing that fear. You just enjoy being a good person and having small pleasures throughout the week. If I really do fulfill my dreams then great, but I stopped giving almost any f**** whether that happens or not.
About death: We are going where everyone else has gone. Pragmatically speaking, it must be okay because that is reality.
I agree. I honestly don’t think about it much. Living is way scarier then dying to me.
@@latrellsprewell653 both are horrifying
Damn there’s a lot of sad people on the internet. How can you not love life? The most precious gift you will ever receive
I'm glad it exists or I wouldn't know what our catalyst for appreciating the beauty of it all would be. We'd take life for granted, get bored, wish for a way out, and someone would invent death.
that's beautiful
you cured me you legend
Be better to have the choice though.
Thank you Lex for covering this topic. I've spent so much time pondering these questions. And I'm a power lifter/marathon runner. I have always preferred for my journey to be alone. It's the only way to master yourself
Wow how do you do it, between pwrlifting and marathon? Must be so taxing bodily and mentally
I'm finally beginning to live at the age of 47. I get it now. Thank you God.
And the saying, youth is wasted on the young is so true
I am too. I Started to feel different at age 45 than 46 and now 47. I cannot even relate to the person I was 5 years ago. I’m in a good spot but am happy with another 10 years and that’s it. I’m checking out
I think it is about the "unpreparedness" for death which brings in the fear component. Are we terrified of death of being unprepared for it?
Yeah, good question. A monk once told me that the true reason for life is to prepare for death. Something i think about a lot
Once I turned 30, unfortunately, I began to think about death constantly. It’s given me a lot of stress and anxiety, but I’m slowly coming to embrace it and see it as a good thing. I can already tell it is something I will likely obsess over for the rest of my life, too.
since i had the same i recommend you to give you "steps"... like "i will think about it again when i will be 40...and see how things are". I had my steps at 28, 41 and 50 and each time i found some answers that comforted me a lot.
I’ve had this thought that reminds me of the Buddhist perspective she shared… that life is an illusion. We think of ourselves as living in a finite world, separate from one another, in a moment in time, but if we are brave enough to contemplate infinity we come to realize there is no end or beginning to anything. We are enmeshed in infinity. Our sense of separateness from Infinity is an illusion, but one that is beautiful and fun and gives life meaning. We must fear death in order to keep up the illusion. So to me, the choice is wether to keep up the illusion with a willingness to suffer, or give up the suffering, and with it, all the fun of the illusion.
I think when you're young and you haven't experienced loss in a major way death is something you fear. But when talking to most really old people they say yeah, had a good life, the world I know has gone and friends/family have passed you would be more than ready.
Most fear not living a life. Live life without ego. Learn that yes your actions may not have an effect in the grand scheme of things but a life of helping others, loving others knowing you did some good is all most can ask for. Don't be so ego driven that you feel oh, I have to make a huge lasting impact or nothing I do is important long term. When I do an act of kindness I feel good, doing many acts of kindness knowing you made a difference is enough.
Now think of the millions if not billions of people who have done the above and it all adds up. You matter and what you do matters even if there is no tangible quality that lasts in the minds of future generations etc. I know I'm glad my great great grandfather decided to work, live and love and now I am here. You carry a flame and cast that into the great fire that is humanity.
I don’t think it’s death so much as loss, that people fear, in much the same way people who are scared of heights are actually not, it’s more to do with the associated risk of falling, that is their fear. Regarding death, it’s that feeling of loss in no longer being able to be there for your loved ones or having big regrets in terms of not fulfulling your potential or making a good crack at it.
I'm always afraid to pour the last bit of cereal out of the box and into the bowl because it seems an analogy for finality. That box of cereal is just DONE. But if I leave a little in the box, then it never ended...Which leaves the problem that throwing it out seems kind of monstrous, too. So...basically I live among almost empty cereal boxes. I'm also afraid of commitment. ... :D
Moths and maggots will heal you.
Interestingly these days I don't think about my own death much and concentrate mostly on what I am doing at the present moment. If it comes in I feel I settle it and accept it once again. I just don't really think about it anymore although when I watch something like this it reminds me of death.
I am the kind of guy that is smiling at a funeral and hugging friends or family while everyone else is in years. I am just full of joy most the time so I try not to let dark times bring me to tears when most of the time I am naturally happy. I went to so many funerals when I was younger and used a meditative technique I learned from the Tibetan Book of the Dead to meditate on a dead body that now at funerals I don't react in deep grief over a dead body. I don't feel I suppress it and hold my feeling in but rather sustain the joy I have most days in life.
This lady really needs to do a study on near death experiences! It would the cure of all of her anxiety!
Those people are all charlatans trying to make a buck near death experience is not the same as being dead it’s just a hallucinogen station as your brain struggles to survive
@@AndrewHedlund100 Is that so Dr Hedlund? Find me a credible doctor who thinks the same as yourself & I’ll give you 10 doctors who agree with me.
Also psilocybin mushrooms for end of life depression, check that out, very fascinating studies from John’s Hopkins
Not everyone experiences NDEs and all experiences are subjective so it's incredibly difficult to study them.
@@jamiek911 Yea but can you find 10 studies to verify your arguments? 🤔
We cannot escape death. However, we can overcome it 🤘 together.
"Nothing lasts forever"
Lex
If true then neither does death. Be not afraid. I fear getting sick and suffering more than death. Death probably is welcomed when you have been slowly wasting away for years.
But if I'm totally honest it still scares me. I recently had to put my 13 year old German Short-haired Pointer down. I stayed in the room with her. It was one of the emotionally hardest things I have had to do. That really forces you to contemplate your own mortality.
You said it, Nothing last forever. Nothing is eternal
Death might be forever, final, eternal
Thank you for all you do, love all your talks.
Every awful thing that has happened to me has happened while I've been alive but I worry about death - weird. Hopefully it's just nothing or some form of awesome.
I’m sure we won’t remember when we are dead
Once when I was stoned I was thinking about how time can seem to change, like sometimes time can fly and other times time can drag, then I thought what if when we are dying and our vision is just going what if time really seems to slow down, like really really slow and the last thing we see seems to go on for ever, because I was stoned this thought that I had seemed so believable. Now when I try and think of it not stoned I just think,, Mehh,,,,,
The way I see it: Death is scary only so far as a painful death and / or leaving the ones we love behind. But one of two things are likely to happen: Nothingness, which means no pain or cold at all, Lex. Or, there is an afterlife as NDE's suggest and we are timeless, at peace, and with our loved ones. As such, which ever is true, there is no cold, but simply one of two kinds of eternal peace.
Psilocybin is the miracle treatment of death anxiety
@Turito Bassu In Canada, 4 terminally ill patients were granted access to it to treat their anxiety and depression. I'm optimistic it will become more available but at the same time, the experience really is no joke and not to be taken lightly. Here's hoping you can kick the liquor demons
Death is simply the absence of Life.
There is nothing to be "afraid of" since it is a state without your presence.
Being afraid of not living makes much more sense.
The whole point is focusing on life enjoyment. Can you make your life a little better-happier-more meaningful? Happy moments is the best thing we can try to achieve.
We are not in control of a lot of things. As the saying goes... We should try to work on things we can control, and have the wisdom to separate them from the ones we can't control.
The worst possible crime reincarnation can commit is making us forget the wonderful people we meet along the way.
Remembering serves no purpose. memories just get in the way of playing your new temporary character.
I dont know if there is anything to this but what if the idea of death we are given in our culture is completely wrong. Its a story based off something unknown. The whole fear of non existence only arises in a logical mind that cant comprehend what it means to die since the brain only knows life. As a kid before I had "learned" about death and what our culture thought of it I was not scared at all. In my heart there was a knowing that its all good. One could argue that its just child ignorance but what if its not. As we grow we begin to identify with our mind and earthly constructs more and more. We bury ourself so deep in ideas and stories we lose touch with the basic principles of life. Our whole fear of death is built around our story of what it means to die. No one alive can know and thats the kicker. We can only speculate. The trouble is we have an animalistic brain that wants to live so when it is presented with the unknown of course its natural instinct is to want to run away from the very thing it is built to avoid. Its like the game shows where they have people stick their hands into a box blind folded. The person has no idea what is happening and you can see the mind freak out from something as innocent as touching a teddy bear. Death, to our brain, is the ultimate box. So then, because its the greatest unknown our mind can create whatever story it wants. It could be a teddy bear, or it could be non existence. If we get past our fear of it, the big scary box that keeps us shackled and chained (because of our fear based storyline) becomes the key to our freedom. It truly can become a giant ass teddy bear. The truth is we dont know what happens after we die, not even Sheldon, so the only goal when contemplating death should be to overcome the fear of the unknown. Once that fear is under control deaths story isn't so powerful. We are free to explore life and contemplate without bias. I have a personal rule when it comes to any set of beliefs and its this: I am truly okay with someone who believes in any specific dogma or practice so long as they are not believing out of fear. If you are a christian because subconsciously you are terrified of death so you run to another story to comfort you that is not okay simply because you are not free. However if you are truly okay with the idea of death and from a place of peace you resonate with Christianity then that is awesome because you chose to from a place of freedom.
Being dead is not the problem it’s the leading up to it that’s going to be a fucking nightmare
"This journey can't be done together with others. It just has to be done alone."
Sweet. I'm already halfway done with my journey then.
"Stepping out into the cold" I love that
There is no need to fear death. Everyone knows how it was being dead [the state before your birth the eternal nothingness where time didn't exist] or "dreamless" sleep some religions describe being born as awakening from an eternal sleep same goes for the "opposite". So it isn't painfull or boring or anything else its just a state of timelessness without thinking. The only thing that would bother me is to die too early and make some people around me sad. Since there is an eternety of death before me I try to look around have some fun do some work and live for the time being.
You need Christ brother
He has the unique ability to spend 5 minutes formulating his questions.
Death is not so much a worry to me but how it happens is..
This is terrible if you don’t have faith in eternal life in Christ but I know what he said was true I felt the spirit last Sunday
“Death smiles at us all….all a man can do is smile back”
“Bushido is realized in the presence of death. This means choosing death whenever there is a choice between life and death. There is no other reasoning.”
― Yamamoto Tsunetomo, Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai
“Rehearse your death every morning and night. Only when you constantly live as though already a corpse (jōjū shinimi) will you be able to find freedom in the martial Way, and fulfill your duties without fault throughout your life.”
― Yamamoto Tsunetomo, Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai
Yeah that is the thinking that paved the way for the inhuman treatment of prisoners of war and civilians by the Imperial Japanese Army in WW2.
Fear is the enemy, a cruel enemy.
We all have two lives. The second begins when we realize that we only have one.
Even though it makes me a little jealous, they have great chemistry
I'm not sure it's correct to think no other animals contemplate death...they know it. It's the obsession part that separates us...everything else...let's it go until the actual moment. They deal with it better than we do. Animals have their egos in check...we don't.
I had an NDE in my 20s. A type of stroke near 2 months ago ( am in late 60s ). As I have not totally died for good as yet , I must still have some purpose yet to fulfill in life - may possibly be to help just one individual. I think many people fear manner of death moreso than death itself.
For me its not death that scares me because death is going to happen to us all eventually, Being alive scares me more, because life is less predictable and with the current situations in the world, and the terrifying thought that if nukes exist they will be used one day, Id rather have a quick death than watch everyone around me "live" through something extremely painful & heart breaking, because anyone that survives will beg for death
Lex, that whole really think about it is dead on in my experience. Very insightful.
Death is whatever. The dying part is going to hurt. I just know it.
@Astro yes but you are not around anymore to feel relieved that the pain is over
No one knows, no one is 100% sure. If anyone says they do, they're lying to themselves. But thats ok, we're only human.
You're right, fear of dying, not fear of death
I'd be affraid of death too if I lived without the belief and precepts of God. Afterlife exists and spirit "lives" on, which makes it important where you go. There are numerous testimonies of things people temporarily experienced in this regard on youtube.
I'm sorry but you don't know that for sure, i commend you on your faith though. I mean that genuinely
At least he acknowledges that we're apes, and it's something I'm not very fond of being. I've made the best I could out of this body I'm in, I'm 165 lbs which is extremely heavy for a girl, especially a girl with no curves whatsoever but all muscles only, it's the way I've always wanted my body to be if I have to live in it, and it's fine for the time being. Fear of death is the fear of the unknown, and I won't lie, of course I fear it too. I've worked out my body so I'll be able to defend myself, so that I'm equal or superior to a male, so that no one can threaten me. But what when I die and I'll no longer be in this body? Will I still be strong then? I hope I will, and that my current body is a reflection of my inner strength, because it takes will power and determination to get there, to be an athlete and a warrior. There are people who had a glimpse beyond the Veil, and it seems to be different for everyone. The most important treasure we can hope to gain there is freedom, ultimate freedom, forever.
Just cause you can workout doesnt mean you can fight a man dont get it twisted youll get knocked out pretty quickly
@@venicec3310 Troll harder, troll! LMAO
@@DianaTheWarrior ok find out the hard way
Poetic how a conversation about death branched off into excresies and marathons but inadvertently ends with "....This has to be done alone"
Skulls used to be a standard component on desks to visually remind us that our time is limited and to make the best of it - the ultimate motivation. Personally, death by astonishment as the late Terrance McKenna used to say would be my choice and if DMT/ayahuasca is any indication of what lies ahead in the next cycle of life and death, then I am looking forward to death when it's time will come, but I have a few more things to do yet...
I stopped caring about wanting to do things. Once you die, everything you ever did will not even be a memory. So for me is living minimalistic and have no desires or goals. Just live in the moment and accept what ever comes your way and greet death with open arms
Personally, I came across so many references to Becker's book in all my favourite podcasts, pop psych/philo lectures, and video essays (including those reviewing pop culture products) that I just decided to read the book cover to cover. And now everytime I see people discussing Becker, I sense that instead of discussing the ideas he presented threadbare, these discussions basically just rediscover the man himself, who is not TOO well known outside of these niche circles. Now that's fine and even desirable. But, is there something amiss here? Are we, especially the Western (and Christian) society capable of accepting his conclusions? That a Kierkegaardian leap of faith is the choice. That psychoanalysis and psychotherapy can only diagnose neurosis but not heal it in the way Religion can? That man must confront his mortality? What has changed in your lives after dissecting Becker so much? (This last question I ask as a person from a deeply religious society who adopted Western atheism early on but, after Becker and John Gray, is realising that even Western atheism and progressive humanism remains Christian at its core whilst denying it (and Death) on the surface.)
The fact Christianity values most things western atheism does does not mean western atheism is Christian. Just that some religions are more right than others.
She needs to NDE - start with Dr. Raymond Moody which is the father of this movement. Look on the Jeff Mara Podcast, some real good experiences, some not so good. So many out there to look at.
Death is humbling. No amount of accomplishment can escape it.
Death is absolute annihilation, eternal oblivion. The only "good" thing that we can say about death is that, once it's over, you won't care because "you" won't "be" anymore. The moments that preceed death are terifying as you feel your consciousness slipping into the abyss from which it will never return. But once the deed is done, it's over. Just an absolute "nothingness", the same "nothingness" that you arose from after billions of years since the Big Bang.
Richard Dawkins said that the closest that we can get to what it's like being dead is being under a general anesthesia from which you will never wake up again. Of course, this is the closest that a Human can conceptualize it. Because even saying "being dead" makes no sense, since when you are dead you "are not".
We Humans are the most cursed of all living creatures, because we have the ability to abstract and postulate, and with it we can predict our deaths. We are the only animal that knows that we are going to die. Religion is an eviolutionary "trick" that allows people to live with some peace to balance that terror. But, of course, religion is just wishful thinking.
I'm not afraid of dyeing because I'm dead inside 🤷🏽♂️
Lex passively dropping bombs in casual conversation “ funny how running from your demons make you face them “.
There are some things worse than death
It's great to hear someone like Eugenia talk about how terrified she is of death, because so am I. I rarely meet people or get to hear people that get it. Robert Kuhn with his show Closer To Truth, also gets it. For people like us, there's is nothing more important to us, than the survival of our consciousness after the death of our body. I wrote a song about it: ua-cam.com/video/DGCL7z58j74/v-deo.html
your song is very good....hey at the end is a 50-50 coin toss right ? or the good ending or the bad one ... the more that i get older the more the good ending seems a good possibility.
@@francesco5581 A 50-50 coin toss is quite a horrible gamble to me.
@@marknesser9602 is an horrible gamble in which we are all together... is really possible that what matter the most in reality, the most important movie that will be ever done, will have the bad ending ?
@@francesco5581 Will all the vast advancements of technology in Quantum Physics, someone should be able to do an experiment to prove whether or not our Consciousness will survive the death of our body.
This idea that death isn't a problem if you've lived each moment to the fullest strikes me as nonsense. I don't what to die because it shuts down all opportunities that have yet to happen. The opportunity to see tomorrow's sunrise cannot be realized today.
4:34 same hear Lex
Their conversation is kinda romantic 😂
Lex,
love you like a brother dude. Ask the girl out already, she's waiting for it. So much sexual chemistry it'll make MIT jealous.
I was dead before I was born
Awww i wish i could hug her, she's a sweetheart
We are surrounded by religious structures created to wrap our fears in something consoling. Hardest thing to do is confront the most likely fact in front of us...we cease too exist in any form whatsoever...no memory of anything...for all of eternity...just gone....
I think our consciousness exists to serve the subconscious, the latter of which can not be aware of death. I believe the core of our being is no different than the core of any other animal, and our awareness of death is a by-product of our consciousness.
Jocko still is #1
His mind is so intriguing!
her honesty is refreshing
Death of the body yes our spirit never, which matters the most not being trapped in our body a celebration only the good place awaits bliss and the never ending kiss. Use your Mighty Mind
It's not that complicated, get past the pain get past the fear.
I ain't waiting till death comes knocking on my door. I know where death lives and I'll be paying him a visit.
My thoughts on death- we were not here before we were born; we don’t complain about that 😉. Death is inevitable- we can’t do anything about it. nothing matters too much, everyone everything will disappear anyways; it’s a great equalizer; there’s nothing to be too much depressed about or proud about.. our differences (e.g. billionaire or a poor man) have no intrinsic difference in the context of eternity, an oppresor who commits injustice will also fade away soon from the world.. if there’s no death there might have been no desire for doing anything; everything could be postponed for a later time.. every activity might have some meaning, some urgency because our life clock is ticking.
if we live an honest life true to our soul, we may have a true smile just before our departure from life.
Why do you keep reposting the same thing under every Lex Fridman video
@@Felya where else you saw that?
@@Felya lex fridman has 100s of videos. Let’s see how many of my same reply you can find lol..
She’s fantastically interesting
Afraid of going to sleep? That’s a new one.
We love you Lex 💟
Man. I'm tell you straight up. I am absolutely horrified of death and dying. Absolutely. I have always wanted to live forever. I mean...its really a good deal . in the 1970s forward... Roughly speaking....i say roughly. Not a bad deal...overall in life to be alive...it can be something...thats for sure. So why want it to end. Ya know. It works. Why fuck it up. Ya know.
Once you start losing the people you love living forever isnt so appealing
We are not here to stay, we are here to pass away, there is one creator, to ask me how it is or what it is, is like to ask a blind person what is red or green.
Life is very easy and beautiful and happy.
We are very small in front of a being who have created universe easily. The universe that we can't even imagine. The creator of space time.
Thank you Lex Fridman.
I'm not afraid of death, I'm afraid of immortality. I fear that this shit show never ends! If consciousness survives death and there is a ghost in the machine so to speak and we are forced to be an eternal participant, that thought and scenario frightens me to no end. There's actually a word for this fear of eternity: "apeirophobia".
It's fucken wild. Like how is that possible? What are we going to become?
@@jmoney1941 Yeah, who knows? People who want to exist forever in any capacity and/or reincarnate over and over totally baffle me and most of them haven't thought it through and are just scared not to exist. I'm the complete opposite! When this life ends I want it to truly END.
@@Darrell7777 Lol, really? I don't want it to end. But maybe there's an answer that we can't understand from our pov right now. This passage might give some insight.
No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.
1 Corinthians 2:9
@@jmoney1941 That's totally fine that you and others may want to live forever. My thing is that if we truly have free will then we will have carte blanche over our consciousness should it survive death.
@@Darrell7777 well I guess we can discuss that whenever we get there. Meet me at the celestial gardens by alpha centauri.
Is amazing how people truly believe that they’re their ego and believe in it, very sad!
Sleep is a temporary death - Bob Dylan-
Hi when we cry we accept our means
i dont fear death i fear god
Do not go gentle into that good night
one 'ciffer' today implied that one should be serious about politics and not make jokes about it. however, if you don't make jokes about it, considering how for many older people, at least me, politics becomes less predominant, while contemplating mortality becomes more so, why should one take politics so seriously considering how TERRIBLE it is in supporting people like me, who are still alive?
I've spent my hole life out in the freezing cold.
WOW!, is this true?, are people truly afraid of death?, that’s crazy!, that must be a horrible way to leave!, why is death even a conversation when death doesn’t even exist?
If the devil ever called David Goggins for advice, all of our souls would be fucked 😆
Thank you very much to both!
"Russians being Russians" - what I think of when I read or hear this expression outside the most physical or spectacular context of youtube videos. This excerpt from the interview will rival that final excerpt from "Love and Death" by Woody Allen in my reference to the not-so-dated 19th-century caricature of Russian lucubrations.
ua-cam.com/video/4huaX0UAFGM/v-deo.html
Death is the next big adventure. Nothing to fear.