My aunt recently married a NY billionaire and they started dating when she was 58 which was 2 years ago they are so in love and happy (live in NYC and have other homes in the area).
Never thought I’d end up divorced, but was left one sick and my biggest struggles even after healing trying to trust people I mean, I trust them enough but never 100% if they have money or they’re good I’m even more suspicious because they can have whatever they want usually not always some people can’t be bought.
Hi Bethany. I'm 60 yrs old. Married twice. First time...at 22...divorced at 42. My second husband was IT. Lost him to cancer 5 years ago. HAVE NO INTEREST IN A RELATIONSHIP AT this point in my life. I had the best and the rest won't do😊 complete joy being on my own❤
5 years younger than you, and married for 20 years. My husband is very healthy BUT if something happened to him there is no way I would date again. NO thank you, being happy on your own is the best.
Married 33 years, husband died in 2022 from cancer. I have zero desire for a romantic relationship, but more and more have thought about a meaningful male friendship. IDK. It all still feels weird.
Build self-confidence within yourself first. Learn to be alone and be self-reliant. Make sure you put yourself first! Then, go into a relationship with that confidence and knowing what you want. A real man will love those qualities in you. ❤
I am totally self reliant, love my alone time. Can be alone without feeling lonely. I am a good friend, listener and I love love. . The only problem is that I just wasted five years in a relationship with a physically abusive man who knocked one of my front teeth out. I used to be beautiful, but now With my missing front tooth and two other teeth that are cracked and chipped, I present to the world like a crackhead and often get treated like such. It’s made me become reclusive. I’m ready to be in a relationship again it’s just that every time I think about meeting one of these guys that I match with online I get very nervous because I can’t fathom what it’s going to feel like when they reject me just based on my appearance. I match with hundreds of wonderful men that I would love to meet, but all of my pictures are from before the tooth incident. 😞
I may have an unpopular opinion, but I think a crucial component to having self-worth is to have a relationship with God. Spirituality is vital because it gives you standards and value as a daughter of God. Having a relationship with God also gives me joy and purpose which in turn makes me less needy of men (which makes you more attractive to men). This life is just a vapor, we have to invest in that which is eternal more than just the here and now.
Life is too short to be carrying religious guilt. I say that and I'm religious in my own way. Being a follower in any religion is what you make of it. Y'all sound like sheeple 🙄🙄🙄
🌈 aloha 🌺 Some people think they want to have a partner but in reality their actions say otherwise. They really like being alone better and just have company when they feel like it. Whatever floats your boat.
That’s me! And luckily I’ve known it a very long time. Just listening to this, I was just thinking “thank goodness I didn’t want a romantic life partner!” This emotional work sounds exhausting. I’ve dated, I’ve loved, but I find everything I need without a husband. Much love to those of you in the search.
You know what would be amazing is someone like myself (and I know millions of other women) who is 40 no kids and never been married being able to afford going to an expert like this. I make good money but why does it cost hundreds to thousands of $s to hire a dating coach. Especially living in a time of inflation. So many women my age are struggling to find a good man to share life with and make memories and the whole online dating scene is a dam shit show. I really wish there were more options for us. It’s discouraging.
Thank you for this after a 20 year marriage I’m 49 years old and single I looked into getting a matchmaker and it was too expensive This is great advice. Keep it coming, girl. 😘
I’m your age. And dating is not what it was 20 years ago. Have you gone on any online dates? I hate the whole process, but I feel like that’s the only way to meet someone now.
My sister is going through a divorce…sometime in the future she may be back out there…in her 28 year marriage, she was the primary wage earner and her husband was one of the kids.. I just forwarded this to her with the message…this time around seek “a partner not a passenger” a powerful short and sweet direct message ❤👏👏👏
I just liked and subscribed. 20 years ago a friend and I watched a show that featured a woman matchmaker in NY who charged the men but women were free. She selected women of any age, ethnicity, education level as long as they were : thin, pretty and smart. MY story- I am 76 and a widow. In Sept 1974 I was 26 and teaching my 3rd year of third grade. 3 months prior I had ended an on/off 2 year relationship with an immature man. I was meeting men in bars who totally bored me. A teacher friend met the man she would later marry through an "introduction agency". So I signed up with this service for $25. By mail. I was told by the woman in charge I would get my $$ back if I didn’t meet someone in 6 months that I really liked. I had to fill out a preference sheet. I specified someone age 26-35, college graduate, no shorter than 5’9”, caucasian, kind, financially sound, must love animals and be physically fit. I listed myself as tall and thin and attractive, physically active & fit, educated, employed, financially stable, animal lover, kind and loving and generous. I met 7 “nice enough” men for coffee dates - but didn’t click with any of them. I was ready to give up after 2 months & ask for my $$ back when the man who became my husband called. He sounded really nice on the phone so we met for a drink on Nov 11 1974. I was not expecting to like him as much as I did. As I had been so disappointed. It was not love at first sight but I was intrigued and we had about 4 more dates before he even tried to hold my hand. He was smart, kind, funny, handsome, had a good job, no debt, a mortgage free home and he owned 2 paid for cars. He was creative- a musician by hobby, he was a respectful gentleman who took me out to lovely places for meals and to concerts. He was 35. He was mature. He had the same type of small parrot as I did and he loved my cats and my dog. We both loved poetry, music , reading, walking and we both had close relationships with our families. We were married 10 months later-I was 27 and he was 36. Our marriage lasted 39 years ! He died unexpectedly in March 2014. He was my soulmate. I am so lucky I had a GREAT husband for almost 40 years. BEST $25 I ever spent.
@@bethennyfrankel -You’re welcome. I want the best partner for you Bethenny as you deserve that. I desperately miss my late husband. It’s wonderful to have someone who always has your back..and you have his…..nothing like being someone’s special someone who is irreplaceable. When I met my future husband I had no idea I was on the cusp of a whole new fabulous life. I had been in love before but nothing like how I was with my husband. I never doubted his love for me- he was a highly ethical man and I never had to worry if he was cheating or doing anything behind my back. He never tried to control me and he was always supportive of my happiness as I was of his. We had love, laughter, friends, music, travel, pets, 2 custom homes and so much fun.We also went through the deaths of our parents, other family members and some health issues. Marriage is not all sunshine and lollipops but we were always there for one another and the love of a good person is not for sale at any price. It’s so hard living without him. I lost the person I was when I was with him. He was my rock and took care of so many things that I now have to do on my own. Best of luck finding a wonderful man- I know you can do it.
My 20-yr marriage ended in 2013. I tried a couple of dating sites at first & it felt so awkward! I’ve had no desire to be “on the hunt” ever since. It stresses me out too much, lol.
I hear you! I ended my last relationship 5 years ago and since then i just don’t want to have a guy in my life. I hd met that one online, not that that was the problem. He was a doctor and i am ill, with a lot of medical problems. He ended up stealing over a quarter of a million bucks from me. I don’t think i will ever want a man in my life again because i will never trust anyone again. Do not go out with Dr. Charles Bagley.
@@AdrienneMint I looked him up, how could you let someone steal from you like that? Never give a man a dime, bad enough they treat you bad and break your heart.
I’ve been alone for almost 20 yrs. Nobody died I just chose to become celibate and just stop dating. This time has been wonderful. Now I’m older and thinking about companionship but tried Bumble. It was awful
the stoic and the high energy is what i’m dealing with. and boy have i lost my way. we are no longer together, have 2 kiddos from 15 yr relationship, and now im working on myself.
Being rich with money is not the key to happiness with someone. My husband and I been together for 26 years and don’t need much in life. Keep it simple
I agree with you -I took a NYC bus yesterday in a working middle class area- couple in their 60’s she had her hand resting on his knee the entire ride - they were so CONTENT. She had the desire to be close to him.
Excellent advice from 2 Queens ❤ Divorced after 20 years..50 and taking my time to heal, enjoying my me time and learning new things about myself. As women we need to put ourselves first and be the person you would want to date ❤ Peace and Love 💕
Thanks so much - it's like business. This video reminded me of a very cringeworthy experience. In my mid-twenties, I was working for a prestigious law firm that shut down abruptly. I immediately went on an interview and just started sobbing mid-way through. Really crying. I got up and left. I wasn't even ready for a job interview and it was so embarrassing!!! ugggh
I was recently in a relationship for 3.5 yrs, thought he was my soul mate, but like the famous person you spoke of and family, I did not see myself with those people. I started to distant myself from his parents, younger sister and extended family. I just loved and adored him. Maybe a blessing in disguise, but he broke up with me unexpectedly. I have since then found myself a new guy and I am happy with him (1.5 yrs and counting).
🌹Absolutely love you Bethenny! You keep bringing topics that are vital for women to discuss. You are doing the Lord’s work seriously though. The world has changed and we need to recalibrate how we approach life. Thank you again. ~Love&Light♥️Carli xx
@@bethennyfrankel I should also mention that you are an absolute inspiration to me, not in the cliché, gay icon way, but in the sense of someone who has felt like an outsider and wants to better themselves and is a tad of an anxious type-A individual. You made me feel seen bc I relate to you so much personally
Love the tip on being the person you would want to date first. Last year, I made a list of attributes I want in "my perfect partner," (not a perfect man, but a man perfect for me). I add to that list once and while. The point of my list is to not only look for those qualities in a man I date, but to make sure I have the same qualities in me and build on the ones I don't fully have before I start dating again. Making these improvements within yourself shouldn't be daunting tasks. My new motto is, "make it fun!"
My pattern is going for someone based on how much they like me too! I’ve never heard someone say it like that… also so many men that love bomb me which feels good but in reality those men have issues. Great advice from this guest.
What puts women in a compromising position with men is their desperation to be in a relationship... men take advantage of this neediness... so ladies keep your self respect and date on your own terms ... don't allow anyone to make you a "pick me" girl
''My expectation level has grown. This is what I want now, this is what I need. And I need to find a partner that's willing to be engaged in that. And I don't think that's bad. That's honesty.'' That's a thing, Dorinda Medley says in one of the episodes in the NewYorkHousewives. I'm a huge fan of you, dear Bethenny. You touch and inspire me lot. And so did the words and (most of) the actions of Dorinda. In this subject ''matchmaking'' I wish you: ❤love❤. - Thank you for your UA-cam Channel. Thank you for being You. A kiss from countryside near Augsburg/Germany
Bethenny, we wanna hear your smart take and opinion on the whole blake lively ryan renolds fiasco...We need your insider knowledge about what you think about all of this...Its refreshing to see people being finally exposed for who they really are in hollywood instead of being propped up as these perfect kind facade they seem to have
Those who prioritize age, looks, money, power, or success should understand that these attributes do not necessarily lead to loving and successful partnerships. Conversely, those who value qualities that foster meaningful and successful relationships should also be committed to embodying and cultivating those qualities themselves.
Might I suggest a different approach, as an older woman who has been around the block a few times? First of all, when you meet a man on the first date (assuming there is some basic chemistry), let him talk about what his lifestyle is and what he's looking for, the type of person he is, etc. Then ask yourself, can I be the right person for him, can I possibly fulfill what this man is looking for? Put aside all the "I want" and "I need" etc. and concentrate on those questions. If the answer is yes (and you have to know yourself well and be honest) then go out on 1 or 2 other dates with him. If you feel comfortable, if you're having a good time with him, if things are going well...then gently start to talk about what you'd like in a relationship without using phrases like "my needs." If he's open to what you're suggesting, continue to date...you may have found a winner ding ding ding.
Bethany, you're right. Someone may look like your perfect match on paper. But it' the intangibles that are what really make or break a relationship. If you have to mold yourself into someone else in order to fit into their life or they into yours, it's ultimately not going to work. But many people are afraid of being alone so they bury that red flag and think that they can live with it. That may be true for five years or ten years. In the end, it will unravel your bond. Because you're not being authentic. In order to have love that lasts, you have to have a foundation of like.
Somehow this video was so healing. I am struggling with work, married life now and I realized it’s important to focus on yourself whenever you are feeling unhappy. Doesn’t matter if you are single or married. Once you start feeling fulfilled, you can work on other things in life and try to turn them around. Looove this discussion please do more❤
Yeah, they want someone happy so they can make you miserable. Why do you have to live an interesting life and doing "cool" things ? Interesting to who? Things don't make you happy rather you bring happiness to the things you do. If you are over 30, you are going to have scars and battle wounds.
I’d say. You need a little advise on how to de single and get yourself together. First. You seem all over the place. Find peace inside. Then maybe u can have a relationship
So relatable ladies!!! I believe in being absolutely single for a year after a relationship so you can come to the next one healed and baggageless. I ended up in a toxic relationship with the last guy I was seeing even though I knew from the start our energies don’t align. He just kept insisting we go out until he broke me 😂 and one of my realisations as time went by was about how his family are not my kind of people and this can never work.
I’m sad and lonely BECAUSE I’ve always been single. I’m 42 and was a 41 yo virgin. Met a great guy who didn’t care about that. I worked my butt off for a year to lose 100 lbs and he respected that. Then he said he could be is own wife because he cooks, sews, crochets, is a mechanic, a musician, a computer engineer, a single father, etc. He asked what I brought to the table. Apparently, being me wasn’t enough. I can cook, clean, take great care of your pets, am a graphic designer and started my own little business on the side. I take care of my mom. And apparently, my companionship isn’t enough. But the fact that I don’t have kids of my own, even though I grew up taking care of my cousins, he used that to patronize me and as a scapegoat to get out of quality time with me because he had his kids for the week and I “didn’t understand.” To be clear, not once did I ever tell him to choose me over them. So what am I supposed to do going forward to find someone?
Exactly ‼️ Totally ridiculous. I met my husband at my office and we started dating. After 3 weeks he asked me to marry him and I said “yes”. We were happily married for 22 years before he passed. I have two beautiful children with him. People analyze men, women & dating way too much and that’s NOT natural. When a man really loves you and vice versa there’s no drama or doubts. But the biggest thing I will say is that you both need God. Doesn’t matter if your Christian, Jewish or Muslim, just have God in your life period. 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️
What happened to your huge, coming divorce podcast series. You said you had enough for a year. And had found your calling to spread divorce information to all the women who need to know it. Please continue with the divorce/custody/legal information.
Men want to be happy with someone easy going ... they want someone young to make them feel young... its what can you bring to their table... they dont want drama and have enough of their ex wives/girlfriends.. and dont want a recap .... thats human nature... it quiet simple... people dont go specially to funerals and hang out in depressives states but to parties and concerts and dinners to have fun
@Unicornbug35 100% both parties Need to be on the same page hence the saying birds of a feather flock together … everyone wants to be happy in the end no one wants to live a life of misery and dread
Why do you associate drama with older ages?İ was a pain in the neck when İ was younger.İ am now 42 , far more beatiful and far more fun to be around cos İ am now more aware.And women want to be happy too it is not unique to men.And life is not always a party to enjoy, it has ups and downs.İf a man only expects entertainment from a relationship that s reg flag to me.
I really wanted to hear more from Barbie. About dating I like Bethany, but I thought I hear her opinion about dating quite often. What is the expert think?
Hi Girls and thank you for the great interview and points made. Here is my case:I have become the person I would want to date ( so to speak 😊) and pretty much healed from my past traumas. I have been ready to meet a right guy but where do I meet him???? Some give dating advice on going to industry conferences as a solid solution to the problem and it makes me laugh, because I have my own international conference management company in a male dominated sector - so I meet lots of eligible men through work. I am sporty and look after myself and socially well enough skilled to succeed in my job, live in the official “city of love “ Paris.. what more can a girl do? 🙈- So what would you suggest as a solution??😊
I left an abusive marriage but have taken four years to heal and we are co- parenting well and I’m happy in general. I think first of all, I’m tired of the stereo type that women just have their hands out ( I’ve never ever dated anyone in my entire life to get any capital gain in fact I swam completely against the tide on that factor in my life and have always financially been solid on my own. I also see younger men hitting on older women all the time in fact I’ve mostly dated younger men in the years I’ve been divorced and single. I am however looking for a best friend and true partner to just enjoy life with and I feel yes it takes a very long time to find the right fit and I’ve worked really hard to have healthy boundaries so then maybe it takes even longer because I have higher standards now and I have children too on top of it. I refuse to introduce anyone to my kids unless we’ve dated for at least six months and nobody has made the cut yet. I was raised by a single mom so I know I don’t have to be with a man in order to survive but I am a romantic at heart and I do want to find a true companion who can be truly reciprocated in how we approach together. I like your advice because I definitely agree it takes time to find that needle in a haystack and then I was given advice recently from a male dating coach to just not even care about if we truly connect or not but just be in the moment and enjoy yourself of course as your authentic self and to just not even care of the outcome. I’ve been approaching this way as well as just not putting up with any BS either and it is like walking a tightrope and there are a lot of me just saying nope I won’t even go on one date - anyhow I’m not going to let my age hold me back - my sun mom didn’t even get remarried until I was in college and they are still together.
So every woman has to be extremely accomplished to have love? If you’re a stay at home mom getting child support and financially secure that’s not ok? Bethenny should go blonde!!!! lol
Most needed podcast thx Bethany didn’t know you were single till the date the other night. What happened to Paul ? Wasn’t that his name ? I thought that was good ??
This Barbie, is not very well spoken. Making statements like" there is no right answer!" Men just want a women, a women that's always fresh and happy. They can sniff out broken heart and sadness. Please give me a break Men appreciate different things. Men love confident, accomplished, smiling, kind, nurturing women. Men also love when a women attend to their needs, some to confide in, share interests and they lhave, love and humor. Focus on yourself and look for qualities that you admire.
Bethenny. Let your guests talk. You literally don’t shut up and talk over and assume what they’ll say. This is no interview. It’s bethennys perspective. You can’t keep a man. That’s what’s up 🙄
G o d bless any man that gets with Bethenny . She’s masculine in her personality which naturally will clash with a masculine Man. She’s outspoken & reckless with her mouth etc . She’s aged on top of that when there’s younger more agreeable women out there. Her being a Scorpio in general is problematic. These are very vengeful , obsessive people etc All my thoughts are opinion based but an intelligent man will see it too.
@@l-train7876Do the very uncomfortable act of seeing the other persons perspective. Other people don’t know what your motivations or goals are, so your actions don’t make sense. Also, communication. Any step, no matter how big or small, just has to be in the right direction.
@@l-train7876 when we forgive ourselves of the choices we have made we become free of the burden it wreaks. It’s like removing a sack of potatoes off your shoulders. *How* do we do that? We recognize we are flawed, and not perfect. We make mistakes and we learn from them. Until we can forgive our shortcomings we’re stuck in a ditch. So , it’s *Doing* the next best thing, whereby refusing to go into reverse replaying every single little episode of your self’s or others lack of judgment. Don’t reflect, don’t listen to the negative thoughts of “ if only I , or they did? “ or “ if only I, or they; didn’t.?” We must all stop listening to the broken records of defeat, that plays over and over in our heads of the imperfections and choices we had/have made. For me, I ask God to forgive me, and I know he has forgiven me, but I am stubborn to forgive myself. I had listened to spirit of destruction that only seeks to kill, steal, and destroy. But God says NO! He says if a heart is repentant of a wrong doing, that penalty is removed, and it’s removed completely. When God forgives he doesn’t remind you of it later, “and say, ah ha,” remember when? But we ourselves let that spirit of destruction seep into our conscience, thus killing, stealing and destroying our gift from God which is *FAITH* Believe when you ask, you have received already!
It's better to get advice from a man NOT A WOMEN ! Men understand men versus women. Selective Search in my opinion, is not great. Tried them they are not great, Bethenny.
My aunt recently married a NY billionaire and they started dating when she was 58 which was 2 years ago they are so in love and happy (live in NYC and have other homes in the area).
@@stephanypistachio does he have any nephews?
How did they meet? And was she a socialite before meeting him?
Never thought I’d end up divorced, but was left one sick and my biggest struggles even after healing trying to trust people I mean, I trust them enough but never 100% if they have money or they’re good I’m even more suspicious because they can have whatever they want usually not always some people can’t be bought.
@@zaravr Ha ha! 😄 My thoughts, too. That lady's story is like the ideal Disney princess movie -- for Young Boomers and Gen Xers.
Hi Bethany. I'm 60 yrs old. Married twice. First time...at 22...divorced at 42. My second husband was IT. Lost him to cancer 5 years ago. HAVE NO INTEREST IN A RELATIONSHIP AT this point in my life. I had the best and the rest won't do😊 complete joy being on my own❤
5 years younger than you, and married for 20 years. My husband is very healthy BUT if something happened to him there is no way I would date again. NO thank you, being happy on your own is the best.
Love that you watched!
Married 33 years, husband died in 2022 from cancer. I have zero desire for a romantic relationship, but more and more have thought about a meaningful male friendship. IDK. It all still feels weird.
@@Kimlovesdogsmost men will not go for that unless it’s a gay friend
@@KimlovesdogsI've experienced this for the past 10 yrs! It's priceless & wonderful!
Build self-confidence within yourself first. Learn to be alone and be self-reliant. Make sure you put yourself first! Then, go into a relationship with that confidence and knowing what you want. A real man will love those qualities in you. ❤
I am totally self reliant, love my alone time. Can be alone without feeling lonely. I am a good friend, listener and I love love. . The only problem is that I just wasted five years in a relationship with a physically abusive man who knocked one of my front teeth out. I used to be beautiful, but now With my missing front tooth and two other teeth that are cracked and chipped, I present to the world like a crackhead and often get treated like such. It’s made me become reclusive.
I’m ready to be in a relationship again it’s just that every time I think about meeting one of these guys that I match with online I get very nervous because I can’t fathom what it’s going to feel like when they reject me just based on my appearance. I match with hundreds of wonderful men that I would love to meet, but all of my pictures are from before the tooth incident. 😞
@@SuzanaRoth yes yes yes.
it takes longer for others (me) sometimes!
@courtneyg678 That's alright. The main thing is that you eventually get there, and you own it!!!
@@SuzanaRoth wonderful advice
OMG, that's what I've been saying for years: Be the person you would want to date.
We have Dating Gandhiiiiii😂❤
❤❤❤
@@bethennyfrankel OMG, gemini you?
I may have an unpopular opinion, but I think a crucial component to having self-worth is to have a relationship with God. Spirituality is vital because it gives you standards and value as a daughter of God. Having a relationship with God also gives me joy and purpose which in turn makes me less needy of men (which makes you more attractive to men). This life is just a vapor, we have to invest in that which is eternal more than just the here and now.
I actually like and agree with your opinion. Kudos for saying it out loud.
@@minniegirl175 Thanks for the support. I only say it because it's worked for me and I wish the best for Bethenny.
That is the one and only relationship that is everlasting!! ❤❤❤
@@sisijames Amen sister! The best validation is the one that comes from God almighty. It's pure and unconditional and yes, everlasting!
Life is too short to be carrying religious guilt. I say that and I'm religious in my own way. Being a follower in any religion is what you make of it. Y'all sound like sheeple 🙄🙄🙄
🌈 aloha 🌺 Some people think they want to have a partner but in reality their actions say otherwise. They really like being alone better and just have company when they feel like it. Whatever floats your boat.
That’s me! And luckily I’ve known it a very long time. Just listening to this, I was just thinking “thank goodness I didn’t want a romantic life partner!” This emotional work sounds exhausting. I’ve dated, I’ve loved, but I find everything I need without a husband. Much love to those of you in the search.
I loved this. I love watching women who aren’t 25 telling the truth about dating. More, please😊
As someone Bethany's age, I really appreciate this conversation.
You know what would be amazing is someone like myself (and I know millions of other women) who is 40 no kids and never been married being able to afford going to an expert like this. I make good money but why does it cost hundreds to thousands of $s to hire a dating coach. Especially living in a time of inflation. So many women my age are struggling to find a good man to share life with and make memories and the whole online dating scene is a dam shit show. I really wish there were more options for us. It’s discouraging.
I like her! She seems a lot more genuine, down to earth and informed than Patty Stanger.
Thanks for watching!
AGREE
Thank you for this after a 20 year marriage I’m 49 years old and single
I looked into getting a matchmaker and it was too expensive
This is great advice. Keep it coming, girl. 😘
I’m your age. And dating is not what it was 20 years ago. Have you gone on any online dates? I hate the whole process, but I feel like that’s the only way to meet someone now.
My sister is going through a divorce…sometime in the future she may be back out there…in her 28 year marriage, she was the primary wage earner and her husband was one of the kids..
I just forwarded this to her with the message…this time around seek “a partner not a passenger” a powerful short and sweet direct message ❤👏👏👏
Thanks for watching!
I just liked and subscribed.
20 years ago a friend and I watched a show that featured a woman matchmaker in NY who charged the men but women were free.
She selected women of any age, ethnicity, education level as long as they were : thin, pretty and smart.
MY story- I am 76 and a widow. In Sept 1974 I was 26 and teaching my 3rd year of third grade. 3 months prior I had
ended an on/off 2 year relationship with an immature man. I was meeting men in bars who totally bored me.
A teacher friend met the man she would later marry through an "introduction agency". So I signed up with this service for $25. By mail. I was told by the woman in charge I would get my $$ back
if I didn’t meet someone in 6 months that I really liked. I had to fill out a preference sheet. I specified someone
age 26-35, college graduate, no shorter than 5’9”, caucasian, kind, financially sound, must love animals and be physically fit.
I listed myself as tall and thin and attractive, physically active & fit, educated, employed, financially stable, animal lover, kind and loving and generous.
I met 7 “nice enough” men for coffee dates - but didn’t click with any of them.
I was ready to give up after 2 months & ask for my $$ back when the man who became my husband called.
He sounded really nice on the phone so we met for a drink on Nov 11 1974.
I was not expecting to like him as much as I did. As I had been so disappointed. It was not love at first sight but
I was intrigued and we had about 4 more dates before he even tried to hold my hand. He was smart, kind, funny, handsome,
had a good job, no debt, a mortgage free home and he owned 2 paid for cars. He was creative- a musician by hobby, he was a respectful gentleman who took me out to lovely places for meals and to concerts. He was 35. He was mature. He had the same type of small parrot as I did and he loved my cats and my dog. We both loved poetry, music , reading, walking and we both had close relationships with our families.
We were married 10 months later-I was 27 and he was 36. Our marriage lasted 39 years ! He died unexpectedly in March 2014. He was my soulmate. I am so lucky I had a GREAT husband for almost 40 years. BEST $25 I ever spent.
Thanks for sharing ❤️
@@bethennyfrankel -You’re welcome. I want the best partner for you Bethenny as you deserve that. I desperately miss my late husband. It’s wonderful to have someone who always has your back..and you have his…..nothing like being someone’s special someone who is irreplaceable. When I met my future husband I had no idea I was on the cusp of a whole new fabulous life. I had
been in love before but nothing like how I was with my husband. I never doubted his love for me- he was a highly ethical man and I never had to worry if he was cheating or doing anything behind my back. He never tried to control me and he was always supportive of my happiness as I was of his. We had love, laughter, friends, music, travel, pets, 2 custom homes and so much fun.We also went through the deaths of our parents, other family members and some health issues. Marriage is not all sunshine and lollipops but we were always there for one another and the love of a good person is not for sale at any price. It’s so hard living without him. I lost the person I was when I was with him. He was my rock and took care of so many things that I now have to do on my own. Best of luck finding a wonderful man- I know you can do it.
Janice Spindel?
You were also 10 years younger
@@diannlimo4502 - I was 9 years younger-but so what?
My 20-yr marriage ended in 2013. I tried a couple of dating sites at first & it felt so awkward! I’ve had no desire to be “on the hunt” ever since. It stresses me out too much, lol.
I hear you! I ended my last relationship 5 years ago and since then i just don’t want to have a guy in my life. I hd met that one online, not that that was the problem. He was a doctor and i am ill, with a lot of medical problems. He ended up stealing over a quarter of a million bucks from me. I don’t think i will ever want a man in my life again because i will never trust anyone again. Do not go out with Dr. Charles Bagley.
@@AdrienneMint I looked him up, how could you let someone steal from you like that? Never give a man a dime, bad enough they treat you bad and break your heart.
@@1110karin exactly they are the provider and protector if they want a high calibre woman to enhance his life
Thanks for watching ❤️
@@1110karin there were many reasons this happened, too much to write here.
I’ve been alone for almost 20 yrs. Nobody died I just chose to become celibate and just stop dating. This time has been wonderful. Now I’m older and thinking about companionship but tried Bumble. It was awful
This is one of the best top ten of Bethany's podcast! So many great points.
❤️❤️❤️
the stoic and the high energy is what i’m dealing with. and boy have i lost my way. we are no longer together, have 2 kiddos from 15 yr relationship, and now im working on myself.
Dr Spirit really delves into the compatibility aspect of relationships. She explains it so eloquently. Please have her on your show!
Being rich with money is not the key to happiness with someone.
My husband and I been together for 26 years and don’t need much in life.
Keep it simple
I agree with you -I took a NYC bus yesterday in a working middle class area- couple in their 60’s she had her hand resting on his knee the entire ride - they were so CONTENT. She had the desire to be close to him.
Excellent advice from 2 Queens ❤ Divorced after 20 years..50 and taking my time to heal, enjoying my me time and learning new things about myself. As women we need to put ourselves first and be the person you would want to date ❤ Peace and Love 💕
Thanks for watching!
Thanks so much - it's like business. This video reminded me of a very cringeworthy experience. In my mid-twenties, I was working for a prestigious law firm that shut down abruptly. I immediately went on an interview and just started sobbing mid-way through. Really crying. I got up and left. I wasn't even ready for a job interview and it was so embarrassing!!! ugggh
Thanks for watching xo
people should heal inner self before dating or it gets messy.
Put your energy out there! Unapologetically🌞💕
I was recently in a relationship for 3.5 yrs, thought he was my soul mate, but like the famous person you spoke of and family, I did not see myself with those people. I started to distant myself from his parents, younger sister and extended family. I just loved and adored him. Maybe a blessing in disguise, but he broke up with me unexpectedly. I have since then found myself a new guy and I am happy with him (1.5 yrs and counting).
🌹Absolutely love you Bethenny! You keep bringing topics that are vital for women to discuss. You are doing the Lord’s work seriously though. The world has changed and we need to recalibrate how we approach life. Thank you again. ~Love&Light♥️Carli xx
gay 32 year old guy in a long ass relationship and somehow still took something from this
Love that you watched!!
@@bethennyfrankel I should also mention that you are an absolute inspiration to me, not in the cliché, gay icon way, but in the sense of someone who has felt like an outsider and wants to better themselves and is a tad of an anxious type-A individual. You made me feel seen bc I relate to you so much personally
"Not the tile but the caulk in between." 🤯 wow 👏 👏
Always have your own money. You will always be playful & taking dates for what they are.
Love the tip on being the person you would want to date first. Last year, I made a list of attributes I want in "my perfect partner," (not a perfect man, but a man perfect for me). I add to that list once and while.
The point of my list is to not only look for those qualities in a man I date, but to make sure I have the same qualities in me and build on the ones I don't fully have before I start dating again. Making these improvements within yourself shouldn't be daunting tasks. My new motto is, "make it fun!"
My pattern is going for someone based on how much they like me too! I’ve never heard someone say it like that… also so many men that love bomb me which feels good but in reality those men have issues. Great advice from this guest.
"Talk to yourself like someone you love" ... A quote that resonated with me recently 💗
I bring nothing to the table...I'm not a waitress......🤣 school of Shera7😂🤑
What puts women in a compromising position with men is their desperation to be in a relationship... men take advantage of this neediness... so ladies keep your self respect and date on your own terms ... don't allow anyone to make you a "pick me" girl
Gotta get pass the honeymoon stage!
Like the part about sharing privately with each person, you discuss certain aspects of your life with
''My expectation level has grown. This is what I want now, this is what I need. And I need to find a partner that's willing to be engaged in that. And I don't think that's bad. That's honesty.'' That's a thing, Dorinda Medley says in one of the episodes in the NewYorkHousewives. I'm a huge fan of you, dear Bethenny. You touch and inspire me lot. And so did the words and (most of) the actions of Dorinda. In this subject ''matchmaking'' I wish you: ❤love❤. - Thank you for your UA-cam Channel. Thank you for being You. A kiss from countryside near Augsburg/Germany
Love that you watched xo
@@bethennyfrankel 😘
Bethenny, we wanna hear your smart take and opinion on the whole blake lively ryan renolds fiasco...We need your insider knowledge about what you think about all of this...Its refreshing to see people being finally exposed for who they really are in hollywood instead of being propped up as these perfect kind facade they seem to have
Those who prioritize age, looks, money, power, or success should understand that these attributes do not necessarily lead to loving and successful partnerships. Conversely, those who value qualities that foster meaningful and successful relationships should also be committed to embodying and cultivating those qualities themselves.
Might I suggest a different approach, as an older woman who has been around the block a few times? First of all, when you meet a man on the first date (assuming there is some basic chemistry), let him talk about what his lifestyle is and what he's looking for, the type of person he is, etc. Then ask yourself, can I be the right person for him, can I possibly fulfill what this man is looking for? Put aside all the "I want" and "I need" etc. and concentrate on those questions. If the answer is yes (and you have to know yourself well and be honest) then go out on 1 or 2 other dates with him. If you feel comfortable, if you're having a good time with him, if things are going well...then gently start to talk about what you'd like in a relationship without using phrases like "my needs." If he's open to what you're suggesting, continue to date...you may have found a winner ding ding ding.
Bethany, you're right. Someone may look like your perfect match on paper. But it' the intangibles that are what really make or break a relationship. If you have to mold yourself into someone else in order to fit into their life or they into yours, it's ultimately not going to work. But many people are afraid of being alone so they bury that red flag and think that they can live with it. That may be true for five years or ten years. In the end, it will unravel your bond. Because you're not being authentic. In order to have love that lasts, you have to have a foundation of like.
Somehow this video was so healing. I am struggling with work, married life now and I realized it’s important to focus on yourself whenever you are feeling unhappy. Doesn’t matter if you are single or married. Once you start feeling fulfilled, you can work on other things in life and try to turn them around. Looove this discussion please do more❤
❤❤❤
Yeah, they want someone happy so they can make you miserable. Why do you have to live an interesting life and doing "cool" things ? Interesting to who? Things don't make you happy rather you bring happiness to the things you do. If you are over 30, you are going to have scars and battle wounds.
If you aren’t happy with yourself, there’s no one on this earth that can make you happy
Wanting to share your happiness, stability, et al is exciting. Think gladness.
love your hair here!!
❤️❤️❤️
it is a spiritual glee to see one and two become possibly three .
I’d say. You need a little advise on how to de single and get yourself together. First. You seem all over the place. Find peace inside. Then maybe u can have a relationship
Is she single, what did I miss?
Bethenny? Yes!
@@jasenkavukelic5047ages ago 😝
Thanks Bethany, great podcast subject.💖🍁
Thanks for watching ❤
this matchmaker...cool things - like she could not define that. Cracks me up.
So relatable ladies!!!
I believe in being absolutely single for a year after a relationship so you can come to the next one healed and baggageless. I ended up in a toxic relationship with the last guy I was seeing even though I knew from the start our energies don’t align. He just kept insisting we go out until he broke me 😂 and one of my realisations as time went by was about how his family are not my kind of people and this can never work.
Marriage is a financial institution, it's what what you done for me lately. And also there's too many women for one man.
You always want a man who loves you more than you love him. Grandma was right.
Thank you so much, Bethenny
❤️❤️❤️
I’m sad and lonely BECAUSE I’ve always been single. I’m 42 and was a 41 yo virgin. Met a great guy who didn’t care about that. I worked my butt off for a year to lose 100 lbs and he respected that. Then he said he could be is own wife because he cooks, sews, crochets, is a mechanic, a musician, a computer engineer, a single father, etc. He asked what I brought to the table. Apparently, being me wasn’t enough. I can cook, clean, take great care of your pets, am a graphic designer and started my own little business on the side. I take care of my mom. And apparently, my companionship isn’t enough. But the fact that I don’t have kids of my own, even though I grew up taking care of my cousins, he used that to patronize me and as a scapegoat to get out of quality time with me because he had his kids for the week and I “didn’t understand.” To be clear, not once did I ever tell him to choose me over them. So what am I supposed to do going forward to find someone?
I think someone analyzing their every move, could be bad.
Exactly ‼️ Totally ridiculous. I met my husband at my office and we started dating. After 3 weeks he asked me to marry him and I said “yes”. We were happily married for 22 years before he passed. I have two beautiful children with him. People analyze men, women & dating way too much and that’s NOT natural. When a man really loves you and vice versa there’s no drama or doubts. But the biggest thing I will say is that you both need God. Doesn’t matter if your Christian, Jewish or Muslim, just have God in your life period. 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️
I love your grey couch in the background... Sleeper/Sofa...
Aww, thanks!
@@bethennyfrankel Your welcome...
More of this please!
Who is even dating anymore 😂 the divorce podcast was more realistic.
Hahaha
What happened to your huge, coming divorce podcast series. You said you had enough for a year. And had found your calling to spread divorce information to all the women who need to know it. Please continue with the divorce/custody/legal information.
She wants a break and mix it up. Couldn't care less about divorce don't get married. Especially after 40.
@@jessicahitchens6926 don’t get married after 40? Why? I don’t wanna die alone.
this was a treat to listen to - so much good advice and good direction here. Thanks for sharing.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Why do so many women want to put themselves out there again. I'm done.
Thank-you for this interview. I took notes.
Love that!
Curious is good ... 💘
Men want to be happy with someone easy going ... they want someone young to make them feel young... its what can you bring to their table... they dont want drama and have enough of their ex wives/girlfriends.. and dont want a recap .... thats human nature... it quiet simple... people dont go specially to funerals and hang out in depressives states but to parties and concerts and dinners to have fun
@Unicornbug35 100% both parties
Need to be on the same page hence the saying birds of a feather flock together … everyone wants to be happy in the end no one wants to live a life of misery and dread
Why do you associate drama with older ages?İ was a pain in the neck when İ was younger.İ am now 42 , far more beatiful and far more fun to be around cos İ am now more aware.And women want to be happy too it is not unique to men.And life is not always a party to enjoy, it has ups and downs.İf a man only expects entertainment from a relationship that s reg flag to me.
Excellent guest B. Thank you.
Do the work ..Get the dessert ..
Thanks for watching!
Thank-you ❤
Wow.. very intelligent conversation ladies!!! Much appriciate the wise words 💛
Here’s to finding healthy deep love ✨
Thanks for watching ❤️
Is that a Bethenny doll on the couch???? I NEED ONE! It's not wearing Channel.
There's nothing wrong with being alone especially after your horrible marriage. I'm surprised you even want to date.
Bethany you are brilliant I so love your prospective
❤️❤️❤️
I fill you got to build yourself us till you happy then look for love
Ooh she said if your picker is broken. That’s what Patty Stranger said all the time.
I’m confused. Who is the advice for? We’ve heard all this before…
It's trash
I really wanted to hear more from Barbie. About dating I like Bethany, but I thought I hear her opinion about dating quite often. What is the expert think?
Hi Girls and thank you for the great interview and points made. Here is my case:I have become the person I would want to date ( so to speak 😊) and pretty much healed from my past traumas. I have been ready to meet a right guy but where do I meet him???? Some give dating advice on going to industry conferences as a solid solution to the problem and it makes me laugh, because I have my own international conference management company in a male dominated sector - so I meet lots of eligible men through work. I am sporty and look after myself and socially well enough skilled to succeed in my job, live in the official “city of love “ Paris.. what more can a girl do? 🙈- So what would you suggest as a solution??😊
I so wish I could be in the Hamptons for a few days…..
This is not dating advice though simply about defining what you need.
I’m sorry bethenny I love you but I think this entire series is wack and bad advice
I left an abusive marriage but have taken four years to heal and we are co- parenting well and I’m happy in general. I think first of all, I’m tired of the stereo type that women just have their hands out ( I’ve never ever dated anyone in my entire life to get any capital gain in fact I swam completely against the tide on that factor in my life and have always financially been solid on my own. I also see younger men hitting on older women all the time in fact I’ve mostly dated younger men in the years I’ve been divorced and single. I am however looking for a best friend and true partner to just enjoy life with and I feel yes it takes a very long time to find the right fit and I’ve worked really hard to have healthy boundaries so then maybe it takes even longer because I have higher standards now and I have children too on top of it. I refuse to introduce anyone to my kids unless we’ve dated for at least six months and nobody has made the cut yet. I was raised by a single mom so I know I don’t have to be with a man in order to survive but I am a romantic at heart and I do want to find a true companion who can be truly reciprocated in how we approach together. I like your advice because I definitely agree it takes time to find that needle in a haystack and then I was given advice recently from a male dating coach to just not even care about if we truly connect or not but just be in the moment and enjoy yourself of course as your authentic self and to just not even care of the outcome. I’ve been approaching this way as well as just not putting up with any BS either and it is like walking a tightrope and there are a lot of me just saying nope I won’t even go on one date - anyhow I’m not going to let my age hold me back - my sun mom didn’t even get remarried until I was in college and they are still together.
Love that you watched!
Love this at 50 its perfect
Thanks for watching xo
bethenny for president 🇺🇸
So every woman has to be extremely accomplished to have love? If you’re a stay at home mom getting child support and financially secure that’s not ok? Bethenny should go blonde!!!! lol
Most needed podcast thx Bethany didn’t know you were single till the date the other night. What happened to Paul ? Wasn’t that his name ? I thought that was good ??
With lesbians, it’s harder as you get older. The pool is much smaller.
Barbie = Tinsley Mortimer
Yes, LOL! 🤣 She's a geriatric Barbie... she's way past her prime!
Basically she’s the W.A.S.P version of an ethnic matchmaker. For your sake I hope she’s good at what she does.
Actual Factual - on the pendulum part.
Bethany, go to Wyoming or Alaska and find a non beta real man!!!
This Barbie, is not very well spoken.
Making statements like" there is no right answer!"
Men just want a women, a women that's always fresh and happy. They can sniff out broken heart and sadness. Please give me a break
Men appreciate different things.
Men love confident, accomplished, smiling, kind, nurturing women.
Men also love when a women attend to their needs, some to confide in, share interests and they lhave, love and humor.
Focus on yourself and look for qualities that you admire.
Thanks for watching!
Sounds like B is looking for a new man.
Lower your standards
👍
Bethenny. Let your guests talk. You literally don’t shut up and talk over and assume what they’ll say. This is no interview. It’s bethennys perspective.
You can’t keep a man. That’s what’s up 🙄
Why seek a human that is not seeking ?
Bethenny and her boyfriend broke up??
narcissists can't keep a man. they are too self absorbed. Case in point = Jlo, 4 divorces
Yeah a few months ago, they were engaged for a long time
G o d bless any man that gets with Bethenny . She’s masculine in her personality which naturally will clash with a masculine Man. She’s outspoken & reckless with her mouth etc . She’s aged on top of that when there’s younger more agreeable women out there. Her being a Scorpio in general is problematic. These are very vengeful , obsessive people etc All my thoughts are opinion based but an intelligent man will see it too.
It appears to me that you’re threatened by strong, independent, intelligent, pretty women.
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
So every woman has to be extremely accomplished to have love? If you’re a stay at home mom getting child support and financially secure that’s not ok?
6:22 this is me. Been single for 3 years, still have an unhealed heart. How do I fix this?
Forgive yourself and your choices. We are flawed, all of us.
@@justatitle I understand the concept of forgiving myself, but I don’t think I know *how* to do so.
@@l-train7876Do the very uncomfortable act of seeing the other persons perspective. Other people don’t know what your motivations or goals are, so your actions don’t make sense. Also, communication. Any step, no matter how big or small, just has to be in the right direction.
@@l-train7876 when we forgive ourselves of the choices we have made we become free of the burden it wreaks. It’s like removing a sack of potatoes off your shoulders. *How* do we do that? We recognize we are flawed, and not perfect. We make mistakes and we learn from them. Until we can forgive our shortcomings we’re stuck in a ditch. So , it’s *Doing* the next best thing, whereby refusing to go into reverse replaying every single little episode of your self’s or others lack of judgment.
Don’t reflect, don’t listen to the negative thoughts of “ if only I , or they did? “ or “ if only I, or they; didn’t.?” We must all stop listening to the broken records of defeat, that plays over and over in our heads of the imperfections and choices we had/have made.
For me, I ask God to forgive me, and I know he has forgiven me, but I am stubborn to forgive myself. I had listened to spirit of destruction that only seeks to kill, steal, and destroy. But God says NO! He says if a heart is repentant of a wrong doing, that penalty is removed, and it’s removed completely.
When God forgives he doesn’t remind you of it later, “and say, ah ha,” remember when? But we ourselves let that spirit of destruction seep into our conscience, thus killing, stealing and destroying our gift from God which is *FAITH*
Believe when you ask, you have received already!
It's better to get advice from a man NOT A WOMEN ! Men understand men versus women. Selective Search in my opinion, is not great. Tried them they are not great, Bethenny.