In my experience, the scariest thing about a narcissist is their ability to play the VICTIM so well, so convincingly! Their ability to play the victim is why their smear campaigns are so successful! That's wickedness and malice at its extreme!
@ellie_j. Scary is right! My lifelong abusers-both of my ex-parents & siblings-are like a stealth team who NEVER STOP their smear campaign of lies against me simply because I finally went No Contact with them. I’d tolerated them because they were “family” until I realized THEY are the ones who broke the bond of “family” with their constant abuses! I NEVER had a “family”-it was all a lie-so I stopped pretending. Little did I know how fragile, insecure, unable to handle rejection they are! They made turning everyone I ever knew against me as retaliation. Years later they are still at it! How easily all my ex-relatives and ex-lifelong friends allowed themselves to be duped by these monsters who wear masks so well. However, most of my ex-relatives & ex-friends KNOW my ex-parents & ex-siblings are abusers & always have been. And that I was their target as the only truth teller of the “family”. They witnessed the abuse with their own eyes! Yet they side with the abusers and pretend to believe that they are the victims. Sick sick sick. Glad to be rid of all of them.
That's the reason it's important to state your side as factually and hard hitting as possible detailing their abuse - at least once. Do it factually in a calm manner, don't act defensive. Make it very clear - this person may be great to you, but they're a huge bully to me and they got mad when I stood up for myself, which I have a right to do. Make it very clear that you don't like them and you don't want anything to do with them This way if they come after you, this is especially effective in work situations and legal situations, it will be documented and on record. Basically blow them out of the water. Make it a matter of fact, and don't try to change the other person's mind. In fact, act indifferent. It helps to keep it short and concise and then repeat the same short sentences over - when the flying monkeys or narcs try to tell you your own experience, or excuse or justify the Narc's behavior Don't ever let anyone tell you how you should think or feel, nip that in the bud
The scariest thing about a narcissist is that they just don't care what their behaviour does to you, it's all about them. There's no telling what they can or will do when they lack empathy and THAT is scary.
It's literally why murderers are predominately people with ASPD (and most people with NPD have ASPD, comorbidly). They're unable to stop themselves from the need to 'win' and if they can't feel more knowledgeable or higher status than their victim to 'win' that way, they'll resort to violence to try to 'win' that way. Get as far away as possible from psychonarcs. It's a life and death situation.
If you're afraid to say it, they could put a hit on you, yeah. Or do it themselves. Sabotage all your social relations, effectively commiting social homicide. Or watch you wither in depression, poverty or whatever degrading situation you're in and watch you fade away with a smile on their face. Having said that, you now know you're dealing with the worst of enemies: those who are too close. Cut them off and train your mind to be violent as well. I know it's a hard skill for empaths, but you gotta learn how to channel hate, anger and aggression to protect yourself and those you love when you need it. Yes, be prepared to assault or kill them in self defense. Think with their head when dealing with them. That's all I can advise you.
I’m a homeschool Mom, 19 years of marriage. My husband has always had Narc traits but as he’s aging he’s getting worse. No matter how clean I keep our home he uses that as a way to put me down. Cleanliness is used as control, finances is his power. He needs help and if I don’t see change I’m leaving. Life is too short to live as an employee instead of a wife, mother, and human being ❤ Thank you Danish for always bringing the truth to the secret life of Narcissists, no one wants to admit they are being emotionally abused.
Leave asap! You have already given enough time for him to improve. He will never change but only degrade and contaminate your children with his mindset. They deserve to see you happy so they Can be too in the future.❤
He is never changing get a plan to get out today, start getting your resources together and get out! 19 years, just remember you gave him 19 years that was more then enough time! I speak with some experience since I as well was stuck in a 11 year relationship with a narcissist, they just do the same shit on repeat to infinity and say whatever it takes to keep you in your place so they can keep abusing you.. Live your life now
Oh wow, did you NAIL IT!!!! This is probably best video I have ever seen on this topic. That is for sure what makes them dangerous and all the reason to cut all contact. They are so delusional and they do believe their own lies and can therefore harm you or even murder you and feel you deserve it. They can never own their behavior. These are the most dangerous people walking on this earth. Their delusional thinking can make you crazy. I struggled for a long time to understand how they could do such horrific things to children and you perfectly explained it here.
@snowstormonsat My ex-family of lifelong abuser parents & narcissist siblings DID try to murder me! When I went No Contact they preplanned a set-up to lure me back to parents’ home where they awaited me in darkness. A sibling jumped out swinging a deadly weapon at my head and face screaming “I’ll f$&@ing KILL YOU!!!” With now ex-parents watching in satisfaction. Retaliation for my courage to go No Contact. And because these defective insecure deficient people CANNOT take the slightest rejection. Too fragile. They KNOW they are defective inside. But they don’t want others to know. So they wear their masks all the time. But an adult child deciding to go No Contact with their whole malignant narcissistic CRIMINALLY VIOLENT “family” is too much for them to take. They get murderous rage. And then after police are involved they set out to smear the victim with everyone they know. And people are either willingly stupid to believe such lies when they all KNOW the abusers have always been abusers. Or they are just like them. Either way, I cut them all out of my life. Right is right. Truth is truth. Anyone who can’t see that isn’t someone I want in my life. Better alone.
The complete disregard that narcissistic individuals show towards the potential dangers they put others in is truly disturbing, regardless of the circumstances. I've had the unfortunate experience of dealing with a narcissistic mother and spouse, and their utter indifference is truly chilling.
I too have an overt narcissist mother & a covert narcissist husband to deal with. I’m married to the narcissist for 42 yrs. & just learn’t about narcissistic abuse. It was in 2018 & that’s when I realized I was not the crazy one & overall I was not to be blamed for all the downfalls mishapes, etc in their lifes.
Can you address a thing known a “narcissistic rage?” Cheating husbands , in mid-life, go through it and reject their wives. Sometimes no “ rage” is exhibited , but their decisions and choices toward a long-term marriage makes the husband turn against the wife. The husband uses a lot of “ projection .”
Check out Dr. Ramani's videos on narcissistic rage...she covers the topic very well, and I've personally experienced it myself with former narcissists I knew. Basically realize that narcissistic rage is the most threatening thing to a narcissist's ego and delusional sense of self. There is no boundary they won't cross when triggered into something that threatens their false self, and they will lash out in the worst ways possible...even leaning towards verbal or physical abuse (if they're the type of individual to physically harm someone else.) Hope this helps and happy healing.
There is “Silent RAGE!” My EX would Turn Red in the Face & appear like a Toddler holding their Breath & Ready to Blow up! His walking & mannerisms were Jerky, & Peeved, w/ Clenched Fists! I was afraid to Speak… Or, get too close for fear of the RAGE Manifesting. I took a Deep Breath, & tried to use a Relaxed Tone to Try & Inspire Regulated Emotions. But, when a Complement is taken as an Insult … Or, True Concern, as Control… Love, as Hate… Being Quiet/ Semi-Gray Rock & Lighthearted Ignoring w/ Yellow-Rock Comments, can be Best! People, the CoNSTANT 24/7 STRESS of pre-thinking every Breath you Take, & Pre-Thinking the Coming Narc Cruel ABUSE, ACTUALLY CHANGES YOUR BRAIN! I just LEARNED… IT Causes a Trauma - Stress induced “BRAIN INJURY!” Brain Injury! We are not meant to be under 24/7 Stress, week-in & week-out… For months & YEARS… Years!!! So, You can think of the Narc as an ameba Brain-sucking parasite! Cuddle up to THAT… Sorry… Hoping to SAVE a LIFE! That’s my service project for today! 🙏🏻💛🕊🍃
You have just described my mother, all I can think about every day is how much longer have i and my sibling to put up with this. Unfortunately this is a very sad fact of my life.
Same, she passed away 4 years ago, and I swear to you my life has felt cursed ever since then. She cursed me all my life, so I guess she's in Hell doing it to me from there??? She claimed to be very religious, sometimes I wonder did she plead for her forgiveness in her last hour, or was she promoted to a full fledged demon? It's a spiritual war for sure. My destiny is a bit of a Light Warrior, empath to heal, we probably all have this light path
The scariest thing about the narcs is that they never stop bullying, abusing, harassing you. After many decades they can still try to harm you! The anger, envy never diminishes with time. It's scary to know that you are never safe, they hold grudges forever.
It's when their eyes turn black and you watch the evil smirk come across their face where you see the extent of the sadistic pleasure they get from hurting you.
Thank you for this video. I have a current situation where I presented actual 3rd party emails about the narcs scheme against me. Still I was told they would not "waste one minute of their time discussing the situation" because I was the crazy one! Then a complete discard even though I presented their own emails to them as proof! Of course the next step was to tell everyone what a liar, nut job etc I was. There is no way to adequately express the severity of what these people will do to try to ruin you. It is absolute abuse.
@@jbrown2908It most probably won't. They get away with it, that's just how it works. That's all about escaping accountability, and it's why they make all that fuss. You have to be very determined and vengeful to give them the taste of their own medicine. Which is probably not healthy for your own brain so you either choose to kill them and kill yourself in the process or live and let them get away scotch free plus letting them ruin your reputation because addressing it would mean you'd have to kill them and die, and that's precisely the cycle you're trying to run from. Don't waste the opportunity to expose them if a very good opportunity arises to shame them in public to their peers, exposing evidence and gathering like-minded individuals. But only do it if you feel it would destroy them so profoundly they will lack the strength to come after you in the future. There's no half measures with narcissist (cluster B individuals), you better know that. Until them, bide your time and play dead.
I’m not an expert, but this is the scariest thing I have seen at work. My boss had a female narcissist boss that specifically targeted him. He kept getting into fender benders and then an outright near death crash on his motorcycle. I suspected he was subconsciously doing anything to avoid coming to work. Years later, a similar woman became my boss and suddenly I was extremely uncoordinated, falling down stairs, breaking my toe on a bed post, etc.
I used to have extremely bad sciatica especially when walking out to places with narcs it was a struggle to walk and to stand, was in my twenties and no kids. It's the feeling of 'I can't stand it' the way they make your feel but we don't listen to our bodies or think everything will get better and blowover coz we don't know what we've done anyway. That day doesn't come.
@@farhanah2244 exactly. I think it’s the wolf caught in a trap, chewing it’s own foot off to escape. My boss was out an entire year because of his injury.
They curse you, they wish the most God awful things onto you. It's called a psychic attack, this is the reason their smear campaigns are overwhelming- because it's like a tidal wave of extremely negative energy directed toward you
They will cause accidents too, by getting someone to drive in a dangerous manner causing you to have an accident. Maybe move away from flying monkeys.😀 Best wishes for you
Dealing with it today ... Sadness .... Getting called name's Days now .. Pray please I have been dealing with this for 30 year's I'm dying from heart issues and yes everything is my fault. Pray please 😢😢😢😢😢😢
I feel you! 🙏 According to them it is always your fault and never their fault, it is sickening! If you can in any way or form, go away from them as you need relaxation and peace for your heart as well! Sending you healing 💚
Praying that the Lord will comfort you and show you a way of escape. Either physical escape or a way while you're still there. I am praying for divine intervention for you Janet.
Everything you said makes perfect sense to me. The lies are second nature to these individuals. Truly the scariest thing is the long line of devastation that leads to their feet.
Hi Danish, thank you for another great video. I did dare to challenge his nonsense, and it has left me crushed and broken. Even though I feel that I've come a long way with it all, I've got so much further to go. I've been unable to leave the house for 5 years and I'm starting to worry that I'll never heal enough to live well again. Much love and prayers to everyone 🙏 🏴
You’ll get there- try and take it easy on yourself and not feel like “I should be” or “why haven’t I gotten better yet?” You are getting better every day at deep levels that have to heal first before it will manifest on the outside where you can see/feel the results. Just watching channels like this shows that you are healing just by learning to trust yourself and your learning (about narcissism) rather than having those thoughts implanted by the narcissist. It takes as long as it takes 😊. You’ll get there!
@@elainesmith1200 the same thing happened to me when I finally confronted my husband’s brother (years of abusing my husband and then me, too, after I started to get mentally healthy). So much of recovery is learning who you are outside of the terror of walking on eggshells and morphing into whatever the narcissist demands you be- nowhere near as easy as it sounds, to be sure! What an incredible journey of self discovery you are now embarking on!!
@@elainesmith1200it takes time to heal, take it easy, first the cognitive dissonance disappeared, then self love appears, you start taking care about your heal not just physical but mental and emotional, you will have he desire for spiritual growth, doesn't matter your religion, faith it's a very important key for healing after being abused by these demons, they rotten your soul, don't let them do so! I really wish you healing since I am in the same process too (mine started 8 years ago, and yet I am not done).
@elainesmith1200 Is it at all possible to get online therapy with a therapist that works with narcissistic abuse victims? Like Danish here? When I was married to a narc, I secretly went for therapy on my day off which was Tuesdays. Ex hubby did not know, he only found out in court when I was getting a restraining order after running away that I had been seeing a therapist. The therapist said nothing about narcissm, but she explained how ex hubby had groomed me to believe the lies he was telling me. How it wasn't my fault, how it was emotional abuse. I got so empowered, I stopped reacting to his yellin, I got the energy and self confidence toleave him. .
Wow! Narsists believe their own lies and think they are reality and their feelings are facts. They lack empathy and accountability for their actions and feel entitled to do whatever they accept as appropriate in the spur of the moment. This is really the scariest things about the narcisists. Thank you for This brilliant observation Danish.
At 48 years old I discovered the reason behind all the madness I have experienced s;ince childhood. Father, grandiose narcissist, mother, covert malignant narcissist, brother, garden variety narcissist (golden child), sister textbook covert, first relationship, psychopathic narcissist, second relationship-husband, covert narcissist (professional victim). Grandma, grandiose narcissistis, Grandpa, the most humble and giving person I have ever met (empath). The world is filled with narcs!!! Danish, you are one of the few that explain narcissism as aaccurately as I have experienced it.
That describes my cousins My other cousin says they were never held accountable as children It kinda makes sense; they live in an alternate reality and don't comprehend the irrationality
This IS scary. I notice this. My mom & sister justify their abuse of me. They act like they're justified. I enjoy your videos. For many years my mother and sister had double teamed and bullied me. They do this because people compliment me in front of my mother & sister. My mom & sister were often overlooked. They are hostile towards me. My dad and me were pals. This bothered my mom because I got along well with my dad. People usually told me in front of my sister that I am prettier. I know that would bother anyone. But she & mom became angry. They plotted, schemed, lied to anyone who would listen. It got back to me that they were telling people they were the victims. They lied and actually BELIEVED their own lies. They told people I was the one bullying THEM. They told people I am jealous of them. This is not true. But I think the reason they still double up against me is because they believe I deserve their abuse. They will never change.
Modern society is full of lies that the superficial things are more important than the real values. That's why, even though I totally understand your situation and your mom and sister are clearly not behaving well, I hope you are also aware of the superficial privilege you have been given without working for it. Use it in a good way. If there's hope for your mom and sister, try to compliment them about some good personality traits that they are having. I think it's sad if women destroy each other over superficial things. That's the game that patriarchy has always been playing with us. We can do better.
@@kape2469What a delusional response. You put women and men against one another, when it's actually an issue of cluster B personality disorders. If you show these kind of people your teeth while they bully you, it will only reassure them of the abuse and trust me they will view you even more as WEAK, PATHETIC, SPINELESS and deserving of abuse. No matter the gender, that's what they do. They actually MIGHT respect/fear you or at least leave you alone if you hint the capacity to be just as vicious. That means you will find cracks to belittle and humiliate a fellow 'woman' to defend yourself.
Correct. They are too short tempered...over sensitive , easily teased, king-size ego, very rude, ruthless, emotion less, no feelings for you and your family. Everything is about them always. They are full of themselves. They are full of lies and deception. They love money and status.
So yes I told my x Narc wife stop speaking Down at me that I’m not going to put up with it anymore. She tried to choke me when I pushed her off she waits a day and then calls the police and tells them I attacked her. I get a call from the sheriffs office telling me she called but the sheriff asked her questions and he realizes it was her who attacked me. And he asked me if his findings was true I told him yes it was a few days later she calls me and says “ we’ll it took you a full week to come up with that lie that I attacked you. This is the delusion I didn’t respond at all and haven’t seen her or my child in over a year. And I’m sooo happy to have my life back I’ll never ever let her back into my life they just suck the life out of you. And they will kill you given the chance.
Wonder if I'm the anomaly here. My narcissist never denied being a narcissist when told he was. Not that it was a good idea. Am sure other narcissists would flip it, crop I know from high school are mostly the somatic breed.
@@dianaalyssa8726 if they tell you something , believe it . Mine was covert and those are the most dangerous breed as they drop their mask when you really need someone who cares . To find out at the lowest moment of your life that the person you sacrificed so much for and loved from the bottom of your heart , is actually someone who wants to push you off the cliff when you are struggling with serious medical issues already , to have emotional trauma of finding out that the person you loved really never existed behind the mask !
@penijoni1316 she made me feel I had met my soulmate , until the mask dropped , unfortunately when I had really needed emotional support and a caring touch !
They are so miserable in the end...they put themselves in a sort a of hell and struggle to drag you down...unable to feel learn and grow...their Absolute pride doesn't allow them to ask for help...and the problem is they are so many nowadays and always growing in number...so much of our preciuos humanity is being wasted in such a stupid way...and in general a narcissist believes ha is so very much intelligent
I am married with a narcissist and I have 2 children who are financially dependent on him, I have to protect myself and my children. Emotionally I’m strong and I have a lot of faith 🙏 I try not to talk to him to much. When my children’s situation is different, maybe then things will change… They have a personality disorder that is difficult to treat, medically speaking. Thanks for your videos. 🙏God bless you for your amazing work you do.
I’m afraid? Grateful? My daughter is with him? I had never heard of narcissism until 3 weeks after Offering an uncontested divorce to my very successful lawyer husband of 20 years We have a little girl She is 12 The divorce is not final as he filed for 100% physical and legal custody Please lmk if you can refer to me any advocates To help me have custody I was 44 when I had my only child she us 12 and I am deeply wounded as I lived my life waiting to have a baby to nurture and create a family Thank you DANISH 😢😢❤
I hear your anguish, so sorry you are experiencing such torment. You can get through this and triumph! Only believe. I had hell unleashed on me after fleeing with the baby & a few carrier bags, left him with the house and everything. My ex husband waited some years to turn some of my family against me, when I was most vulnerable he got my relatives to finance him in court against me and my child... truly evil. If they were safe, I would never have left in the first place. 3 year battle and the only reason I live to tell - with a legal order of NO CONTACT for our safety - is because I cried out to Jesus for help. Not churchianity, not religion, no help in man-made prisons - but God! Their lies were well constructed, and after so much time it was hard to refute them and get evidence to prove my Truth. Its a spiritual battle. See Tina Swithin One Mom 's Battle Channel ...and for your daughter's sake, sincerely ask your Creator for help. Everyone is amazed at all I've survived, wasn't raised in a Christian family, I found God on my knees, dying in my own home. Stay safe, document everything. God is close the brokenhearted 🙏 ❤️
Thank you I’ll keep praying and knowing god will help One thing I know for sure is my trust and now seeing his actions. I’m shocked yet so proud of who I am and who I get to be each day through this. I would never have known about this if DR RAMANI DANISH Dr Les Carter and his 🐕 dog I listen often and know through my meditations and clarity of soul I found my way out of this and I simply thought this husband could be even happier with us divorced? Why not? He always seemed so unhappy and would clearly instigate arguments those last few months between my then 10 year old daughter and myself. I honestly thought I want us all happy and I was tired of him blaming me? Who knows what this man is doing? I cannot believe he is hurting out daughter? Like this? My daughter did say “I wish daddy trusted me” I realized trust was something I never received from him either I’m proud of my little girl for being able to say this I don’t want to cross the bridge to say too much it could back fire? Dr Joe Dispenza week long retreat and continuous meditation’s after his retreat and every day since November 2020 have led me out of this thing I was in I cannot call it a marriage I love all of you and your support today Thank you
@@Kimberly-iy3clt is heart-wrenching. I agree that at this time, I am keeping my sanity because I cried out to Jesus in deep, deep agony, regarding my narc mom. She's been hell to deal with. Many years ago, I also cried out to Jesus during a messy divorce from narc hubby. My lawyer was saying, "It's psychological warfare. Whoever breaks down loses the case" His family was funding lawyers against me. I cried out to the Lord Jesus in earnest. He was asking for primary custody of our two year old. I got primary custody. The Lord led me to first forgive him right there. So I unburdened. Then He went to battle for me. Be very composed. Be aware that if he hasn't yet, he will turn your child against you forever if he can. Mom turned my son ageonst me. Narc hubby turned my daughter against me once she grew up. I am praying for you. Be strong and courageous.
@@sallysorbello7303I sm shocked about this too. But here is what I suspect, when they're younger, they do know. As yhry get into their 60s, 70s 80s, maybe they lose touch with reality and completely believe their crazy stuff... just a thought. Even then, what's hard to explain is the two-face, angel in public and devil in private... that shows someone who knows what they're doing...
@@sallysorbello7303hey I’m one of the few specials. No, we don’t have any control. We don’t even know what we’re doing. It’s like some kind of energy taking over. But trust me we don’t mean no harm. 😢
YES!! Their mental gymnastics to justify and get away with what they do is MADDENING! It kept me trapped for so long that I am still reeling and trying to make sense of everything. And I feel SO much anger. It is not fair, and there should be retribution for this! I know there never will be. But that doesn't stop me from wishing or searching for it.
@@wateroil4230 I have to believe that. I don't know how to cope otherwise. The hopelessness and helplessness that lasted for so long has become anger. I need to believe they will get what they deserve.
@@southerncatladyThe anger will turn into bitterness if it hasn't already. Bitterness is cancer waiting to happen. Bitterness is such a heavy yoke to carry. As long as you're bitter, you're stuck in a bond of hatred with this person who hurt you. You're glued to them via this bond. When I cried out to Jesus, he led me to forgive the narcissist who was filing frivolous motion after motion in divorce court against me. I did not know how to forgive, but my Lord literally taught me. Please find a way to forgive this person/people. You don't have to let them know if you're no contact. You don't have to regain contact. You don't have to trust them again, since narcs can't be trusted anyway. You're not forgivingvthem for their profit, but for your profit. To unburden yourself. To be happy again seeing that joy and bitterness do not co-exist. So you can be free. So you can move on. I am rooting for you!
@@MindyWells-j7m Thank you! 🖤And I'm so sorry that you went through that, and that yours started filing motions against you! They will truly do anything to hurt us, or get a reaction. I can see how it could turn to bitterness. Mine has been turning to self hatred, wondering why I still struggle to stay strong and choose myself. It turns to depression because I have no energy left after all the energy I poured into this toxic mess. But that bond is very real, nonetheless, and it is such a difficult tie to break. I'm working on forgiveness. I know it's for my healing, not for them. It's the anger that I turn toward myself that keeps me from that. I AM learning, though... In teaspoon fulls and baby steps, I am learning. Once I forgive myself, I can forgive this person. It's a process. It's just so hard some days.
Wow, you have described the narcissist truthfully and succinctly, the workings of their mind and how deranged they are. Thank you for this amazing video. 👏
Believing their own lies is a super valid point. No matter how much you love them and are trying to help them they don’t see the truth. No argument can win them over they only believe their lie.
Lacking ability to introspect lends itself to also lacking a key personality trait assisting one to empathize. That is key & necessary for one to place themselves "in the shoes" of others.
Do you ever really heal from extremely narc parents? I left at 15, but still tried for years to get my needs met and have a relationship with them. Over and over, especially my mother, tried to literally destroy me in every manner possible. My other brothers and sisters are narcs also. Had a massive breakdown at 23. I'm now 58 and there have been SO many. Do you ever really heal? I keep to myself...so much trauma, so much damage, so little time left......and NO one has EVER given a shit about me. I've been just a punching bag. I'm collecting dogs now and hiding and doing art. I'm just so tired.
Keep building your own interests and connections you feel are safe. Enjoy your dogs but don't overwhelm yourself with too many. You don't want to go from comfort and relief to stress. Remember God cares about all of us. I've been parent free for 15 years. It's been good for me. I do have a spouse and kid, a dog and cat. I have my church and faith. These things help me tremendously! You'll build. You'll do better but if the sense of loss never goes away, I find that normal. Just keep moving forward. 👍
Keep the faith!❤ I'm at similar mark in the road. At 58 I feel I finally have all the knowledge. But I'm 58! And the birth family and ex- husband and others who maliciously took so much from me have long ago discarded and disregarded me. So my mind is now as clean and unfettered as it was as a 9 year old me. I read, laugh, study, exercise, explore. I live without judgement. ❤❤
@@blk5124 only two dogs. Just rescued one. No, I do my best to keep the stress very low. The dog thing is hard in Mexico...every time you turn around there is one in need. This is a puppy, day three and he's not much trouble at all really.
THESE PEOPLE ARE sick mentally why you want to spread false lies to cause division among friends and family no contact is the best way to go run from them
Hi Danish, I was wondering if you may be able to do a video on How to fully recover from Narcissistic Abuse? Also, in your opinion, is it ever possible to stop thinking about the abuse? I was raised by a Malignant Narcissistic Mother and a Covert Narcissistic Father. Both of my siblings are Golden children and they are both Narcissists. I was the scapegoat. I stayed in this role my entire life. I knew they were all sick and evil. I experienced the biggest betrayal and it was the straw that broke the camel's back. This was 5 years ago and I have not seen them since. I work on my healing every day but I really do not want this horrible upbringing and abusive family to haunt me forever. Is there a way to completely move on? Thank you so much for your videos.
It is very hard to achieve. But it is rationally plausible. Focus on identifying negative patterns of your behavior and personality injected in you by abusive behavior. Low self esteem, leading to bad habits, submissive demeanor, lack of joy on activities, inclination towards self-isolation, etc. Identify those bad traits and start from there building up the personality that suits your values. Confidence is tricky, but it will improve as long as you take care of yourself, and do things that are in line with self-love. Forgive yourself immediately, break the cycle of guilt. Also, try and build a healthy social circle and support. That means you will have to learn to support other people in need to, so they can help you when you need it. Be a good friend and expect nothing less in return.
God must have been enlightening me. I knew his thought process was just not normal. I got where I didn't share things with him because I somehow just knew better. I wanted to as he was my husband but he just thought different.
The most dangerous thing is they will DESTROY thier own children in the name of revenge against the other parent. They hate but cannot truly love, and the children suffer in ways that ruin lives.
How do I contact you to be able to seek help. I’m married to a narcissistic & living with him for 42 years. I’m throughly exausted. I really need help.
As always, well done, Danish Bashir. I've always thought the narcissists in my life knew they were lying, but your version makes better sense. I've recently had enough, and have cut them both out of my life. And, you know what... I feel as free as a bird.
I think the scariest thing about them is unpredictability. I never know what's going to trigger violence. And it's escalated to a broken neck. I have another plan to leave but he says I wont make it out alive. That it's not a matter of if he'll kill me, it's when. And he finds that statement funny and laughs when he says it. And if anyone were to approach him concerned , he would either tell them I'm lying or he was joking. Your videos are totally blowing me away. In 14 yrs, I've never heard anyone understand him like you do. I've been out before but never for too long. I know ppl think I'm crazy for feeling sorry for him, but there are enough glimpses somewhere that make me feel like this time will be different. He's a child in an old man's body. I don't usually discuss this out loud but I want to say thank you and I'm both scared and glad I found your videos. I only wish there was a formula I could follow to achieve complete freedom. It's all I've ever known though. I grew up in a home with conditional love. So it's always been that way. Parents don't grow out of it either. I've always been the black sheep. Anyways, thank you for your honesty and opening up and telling your own story. It gives me hope knowing if you exist, then people actually get out and stay out.
Thank you Danish, for this video. I appreciate your explanations and agree that the scariest is their delusional thinking and disorder of thoughts and feelings. That has been the most bizarre thing I've ever had to get my little head around. I've listened to it twice, and saved it for a refresher.
The scariest thing is they don’t respect boundaries and they never respect you when you try to tell them no. They only care about thier wants and needs. And whenever you express what you want and need they don’t truly hear you. Your words will go out the other ear to them. Narcissists people don’t truly know you to the core that is how you will know. They mainly know/care about superficial things about you and what they can gain from you. They are also energy vampires!!!
@mariahbethea5967 yes unfortunately I am. I have a 16 year old with him so I feel like I can leave now.. I'm just so sad.. and broken but I know it is best to leave. The sad thing is that I was always so loyal and loved him but he never truly loved me. So I am leaving a man that I love. However I deserve better; I know. A little scary starting over. I am 54.
@@kimberleyi9907 Good for you sweetie ! You just answered your own question “he never truly loved you”. Get out before it’s too late so you can take your own happiness back. And someone else can truly love you for your soul and who you are.
The scariest part for me was when they contacted me again after three years. They 'apologized' and said they were diagnosed with bipolar disorder. They went on to say they went to a doctor for diagnoses, and now is taking medication. They wanted me to give them another chance. So I moved back and it seemed like we could have a normal life again. The Joke was on me though because it was all another lie. They needed someone to help pay rent. When the raging started up again, I delicately asked if they wanted help going to see their doctor. They looked at me like I was crazy, and tried to argue that it was me who was bipolar and was on medication... That week I left but saw that they targeted people I worked with. They posted pictures of their new friendship with people they couldn't have even bothered to get to know while I was around. Even half naked pics with the new victims. They are sick sick sick people who don't even deserve sympathy for their condition.
I call them entity, not human. They are actually the devil in this earth, devil is a tiny word, but like people discuss or wonder how a monster would look like in this age, this is them, totally under facade and nobody except victims and figure it out. All things u described is my mom n dad. My healing started after my dad died in 2017. But I don't think I will ever be happy. I hate humans anyway
@@jbrown2908 hey listen i dint write anything over here.. whatever I wrote is even smaller than a.summery so a lot of things are missing. M tired and sick to write so much... When u r born to both narc parents u are facing things since childhood and then however strong u are u become ultra sensitive to the world after u step out of ur house.. yes all people r not narcs but I have been recognising selfishness n evilness inside people very quickly now and that frustrates me.. m not trying to spread toxicity but the truth is most people will watch u being killed and be unbothered. M an animal rescuer, I mean not professionally but by accident, so the amount of people I would have liked have filtered out even more and actually the filtered out people r the only ones with a good heart. Pay close attention, a person who behaves badly to helpless creatures would behave the same with u if u were that helpless/not of any use to them personally/they dint have to worry about being in jail if they kicked u. So whatever I wrote I a drop in the ocean kinda thing, it's the big picture.. plus i have been doing self therapy since I was 12.5 yo and never had anybody in the world to listen to me. Now that m taking therapy may be few days a yr, the therapist says that I have sorted out most things myself, I just need a little nudge. But u see when u r a narc abuse survivor ur intelligence won't help u cz u have been programmed to think a certain way, it's not easy.. I have cried tears worth 1000 lives already, used every fucking second of my life to contemplate what was going on. So don't u dare give me ur toxic positivity. That's less than useless for me n for abuse survivors .that's exactly what Danish said in other vdo, that one must be away from such people, who say such things.. u think a person would have been alive if they dint work on themselves?think before u write. Be logical
@@spdadventurer1754."People will watch you being killed and be unbothered",,,exactly what happened to Jesus Christ and why He laid His life for those who love The Truth. So they can have life and life abundantly." retribution is mine saith the Lord " roman 12:19 .repent of your hate ,love CHRIST, be saved born again and blessed.
@@wateroil4230 m not christ, surprise surprise! N he was not subject to narc abuse for thirty yrs or more... U go get on crucified if u r such a huge believer in suffering. And also what the fuck are u guys doing here on this channel? Just here to spread ur manipulative reasons for being abused? This is not the place for ur agendas..
Danish, your videos are so insightful! Could you please make one that deals in depth with the correlation (I say, cause and effect) between the stress of narcissistic abuse and things like high blood pressure, cancer, etc. And maybe about how those conditions improve post relationship? You did one about breathing, which I found very interesting! For many years, I would develop acute bronchitis every January and it lasted 4-6 weeks! In another situation, my whole mouth was suddenly full of canker sores...every surface of my mouth! My doctor looked into my mouth and he was shocked! He'd never seen anything like it! I moved away from my covert narcissistic husband 7 months ago, but after only 3 months into my healing journey, I discovered I had breast cancer. It's not in my family's genetic makeup so I'm quite certain that stress played a significant role!
Yess the stress can cause all kind of things! But the cancer can also go away again as you start to heal. I had extreme stress at a certain point and I got a hard disc in my breast and it left again after a certain time. Talk to your body and say that the danger is gone and you can relax now. The body is so intelligent and please do not go to Big P#harma and take che#mo as that causes cancer 🙏If you can go to a naturopath or bioresonance therapist who can help you balance your body more ! Stress is very dangerous and I wish you all the health and relaxation 💚
Narcissist tie the souls of their victims to a demon (familiar spirit) to control them. That's why it's difficult for people to separate and go no contact from them. In fact very difficult to move on in life.
I agree with everything you said because I have been living with one for 32 years. He had me believing it was my and others fault for a lot of negative things that happened to us I even started pulling away from some persons which I realize later was what he wanted. I eventually walked out and even now I cannot process some of the things he has said to make me look bad to others. Many persons have spoken to him BUT I am the one who is wrong and I need to APOLOGIZE. I realize that I am still fearful of him and I pray God to give me the Spirit of a sound mind.
I watched this video several times and saved it. It amazes me that as I'm almost out of a 20 year hell hole, how much abuse I have suffered from this evil creature. Two more months and it's my turn to live my life at 66 years old in peace, health and quiet. Thank you so much for your videos. They have been a Godsend.. 😊
💯💯💯 Before I understood any of this, the first major argument I ever had confronting my covert narc parent about my abuse (I know, big mistake!) was about her insulting my hair after this cute little girl said something nice about it after we had a meal at a restaurant and were on our way home. My abuser hates my hair, is jealous/envious of me, and hates that I love it and take pride in it. HUGE trigger. I was so upset I confronted her about it. This resulted in 3-HOUR long argument. I was so angry, humiliated, and upset knowing she had brainwashed and shamed me into chemically straightening my hair for twenty years for her convenience and now she insulted me once again after I had finally found my confidence, did the big chop, and went natural. I was standing several feet from her the whole time, but she was so angry, delusional, and confused about her own guilt and shame that she accused me of being overly sensitive, said she never abused me, she "whooped us because we were bad", then shouted in a rage at me to stop "attacking her" or she was going to call the police. The police! On her daughter, for demanding accountability for her lifelong abuse me and my siblings. All she had to do was apologize for insulting me, my physical appearance, and part of my racial identity. Instead, she threatened to have her own daughter arrested. THAT'S THE DISGUSTING, UNMASKED TRUTH OF NARC DELUSION, MY FRIENDS! I cried while writing this. This is the thing I remember about that evening. Not my hairstyle. Not the little girl's face or what else she said to me. Not what my parent looked like or what she talked about at the restaurant. This is the night I learned that narcs cant be reasoned with because they are truly evil and willfully unaccountable for their the horrific things they do. Would have been better off talking to a wall.
Do you think it’s a bad thing to stay away from your narcissistic parents? I have over the years stopped all contact with my parents, off and on. I only started to communicate with them out of guilt.
Can a leopard change its spots? If you desire sweet/mean treatment, manipulation and abuse to shrink the hippocampus in physiological neuroplastic brain damage then keep returning to the toxic field. If you desire, healthy, healing, growth, reciprocal respect and love as a human created with inherent worth and value - grieve, find a new field. These people murder, sometimes by getting you to do the job for them. Do not partake, choose life, don't look back 🙏✨️
Please. Please. Please, be careful. I was in no contact with Narc's family especially with NM for seventeen years. 17 years. The biggest mistake I made in my life was to reconnect with NM. They will fool you, tens more than before. DON'T DO IT. Been there
The scariest thing for me is I wasn't important enough to not be sought out to be abused. I was just there to be a professional forever target for however she felt like lacing into me.
I’ve never looked at my husbands messages but decided to today He googled “what do I do when my wife calls me a narcissist?” The advice? Ignore it! I’m the narcissist not him! Then I see that he was telling his female assistant who I dislike that he thinks I’m suffering from depression from menopause. That’s why I have confronted him. She recommended a supplement to take. Yes that’s all I need is a supplement. Finding out he’s been talking with “friends” about me. He has no friends that I know of except people he free dives with. By the way he’s leaving for a month for a free dive competition in Honduras! Kids start school then etc etc but I had no choice in the matter. Then reading his schedule for diving and he commented that wife is having anxiety and depression issues that’s affecting his diving. His solution? Meditate. He’s talking to all these strangers about me but won’t spend a second talking with me! Now I know the last 23 years have been a lie. I’ll be filing for separation when he is gone. I didn’t think the gaslighting thing would apply to me but it’s obvious it does. He’s gaslighting me already and talking about OUR marriage to people who don’t even know me. I’m devastated right now. Will have to sell the house we’ve been in for 21 years. I’m so overwhelmed right now. I have an 18 and 13 year old as well. My son is starting college. Also I’ve found out he’s been conversing with my sister in another state about me. He told her not to tell me. And she hasn’t! Then she started following him on Instagram. He’s staying with my family in CA for a few days too which includes my sister. My sister now has also not been there for me. My nephew has PTSD because of what my sister has allowed to happen. Im realizing that she too is a narcissist. She talks to my father about me. Honestly I feel betrayed by all the people that supposedly love me. Both my parents are only children. I stopped speaking with my 80 year old father last year…for good. Then my sister and now my nephew. My mom and I are ok but she defends my sister etc. That is all my family. My husbands family is even worse. They are cruel to me. I’m 56 and this has been the most difficult year of my life! I’m glad my eyes are finally open but damn it’s painful. Realizing I’ve been betrayed by all the people that are supposed to love me. Standing up for oneself is not easy…actually this is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. Husband and father both in the same year too! I’m exhausted from having to keep my emotions in check. That’s not natural to me. I’ve allowed this man to manipulate me. And he is getting advice from people that don’t know me. This is just the beginning too. I’m heartbroken 💔 right now
It sound like he's trying to set you up for a "suicide" by telling other's that you are depressed. Be careful, you are in a dangerous time when you leave. God bless!
Don't just file for a separation while he's gone, please leave if you can. You may need to get a restraining order if necessary. The reason you need to be EXTREMELY careful is, as someone else said, he is telling people you are depressed, so if you turn up as a staged "suicide" people will believe his narrative, and will tell that to investigators. He's setting you up. Also know that if a narcissist knows you're leaving them, the narcissistic injury can be too much for them and they can harm you. I had to run to a DV shelter. When I called the shelter, they told me when victims want to run, that can usually be the most dangerous day of their life Your hubby has recruited flying monkeys like your sister so you may not want to confide in any family until you're safely separated from him. Even then, be vigilant. After I left ex hubby, he got my friends on his side, so I was mourning the death of my marriage and my friendships at the same time. Dreadful. Be safe!
I'm in the same situation. We deserve better. Start taking care of yourself. I know it is going yo be difficult but I want a different life. Too many years have been wasted on him.
My ex always thought everyone else was wrong. He was only the one who was right. He said his indian family were trying to put spells on him. And if i didn't agree i was told harshly im not understanding him and i dont know them like he does . Until i found it easier to just agree with him
They make up a lie, then I think once they have said the words it sets in concrete in their mind, so when their lie is challenged they are greatly offended
This was spot on. Thank you very much. My workplace has been destroyed by narcissistic leader ship. I’m getting near retirement. All I can do is laugh at these people. They are insane. Imagine my workplace is a ship that sank five years ago. These jokers are driving the ship on the bottom. And they think everything is fine.😅
For me, after finally successfully divorcing my narcissist husband 15 years ago, the scariest thing is never knowing when he'll come burn my house down.
That fear is real. My mom was 79, her narc boyfriend 85. She died in a mysterious house fire. He conveniently lived in the house next door. They were still together.
I agree with you 100 prc. They actually beleive their own lies it is really unpleasant and scary. They do not live in reality, they make up the reality to fit their own purpose.
My question: What do you think? - And what is the reason: WHY they always get away - and so easily - with their criminalistic ways: How they cruel, destructive + abusive treat others??? 😮😮😮😢
This week has been really cathartic for me. A lot of things that have been nagging at me for decades have finally become clear. So thanks for that. I almost feel not exactly scrubbed clean,but the dirty washing has been layed out for my inspection and appraisal in an almost clinical mindset. I feel like I am carrying out an autopsy on the relationship with my dad that I have decided to bring to an end.
For me, the scariest thing about the narcissist is the love bombing. Getting love bombed by my ex was the greatest experience of my life. I miss her as a result. I miss a cold, cruel, sadistic, selfish person because of an act she played on me when I was getting to know her. I know it was fake, but it will inevitably influence my future prospective relationships. Even though the person I fell for never truly existed. I believe my father is also a narcissist, so walking on eggshells with my ex and avoiding confronting her so I wouldn’t hurt her ego was very familiar to me.
The scariest thing is actually, that only we can give them power. After I figured out to read the signs, learned recognise my triggers and made plans what to answer or how to react on certain typical manipulation technics, suddenly I had the power! They got so bored about me, that I was left in peace. I didn’t fight back, didn’t argue anything, was so relaxed since ever and then I left after them braking up! 😂😂😂
(Oh my god..) Everything you said here is absolutely 100% true. My father often said, "I 'imagine' ("imagine" being the KEY word coming right before an *alternative universe made-up STORY* blah, blah, blah...he just conveniently pulled out of "somewhere".... When I told my father that I was shocked that he would molest my daughter (his Granddaughter); he turned it all around and said, "Well, how do You think that I FEEL (being accused by my granddaughter....)??" To which I had a very weak response. (He "won" this verbal battle, I felt). Thank you for this episode. It's very hard work to hear it & process it. But/And I'm ready now. My father's dead. These memories still hurt so much. Still I'm glad I can feel them though. I think it's part of my healing.
100% true, all these things happening to me everyday in my marriage life, no option I have ,bcz me a very humble n kind person. Can't fight nor argue. If I ask him why he is doing like this to me ? When I don't say anything to him. He says I deserve it. Why? God forgive him. Becoming 😢mental everyday
The way that they think when they are in their thoughts it was probably the most scariest for me because you never know what they're thinking even when they're looking at you smiling y thinking and conjuring up something EVIL N WICKED
![[UA] NAVI проти G2 Esports | Blast Premier Fall Final](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/QWlIm4FGESQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Link to all my resources:
linktr.ee/narcabusecoach
They've no introspection
In my experience, the scariest thing about a narcissist is their ability to play the VICTIM so well, so convincingly! Their ability to play the victim is why their smear campaigns are so successful! That's wickedness and malice at its extreme!
Amen!
@ellie_j. Scary is right! My lifelong abusers-both of my ex-parents & siblings-are like a stealth team who NEVER STOP their smear campaign of lies against me simply because I finally went No Contact with them. I’d tolerated them because they were “family” until I realized THEY are the ones who broke the bond of “family” with their constant abuses! I NEVER had a “family”-it was all a lie-so I stopped pretending. Little did I know how fragile, insecure, unable to handle rejection they are! They made turning everyone I ever knew against me as retaliation. Years later they are still at it! How easily all my ex-relatives and ex-lifelong friends allowed themselves to be duped by these monsters who wear masks so well. However, most of my ex-relatives & ex-friends KNOW my ex-parents & ex-siblings are abusers & always have been. And that I was their target as the only truth teller of the “family”. They witnessed the abuse with their own eyes! Yet they side with the abusers and pretend to believe that they are the victims. Sick sick sick. Glad to be rid of all of them.
That's the reason it's important to state your side as factually and hard hitting as possible detailing their abuse - at least once. Do it factually in a calm manner, don't act defensive. Make it very clear - this person may be great to you, but they're a huge bully to me and they got mad when I stood up for myself, which I have a right to do. Make it very clear that you don't like them and you don't want anything to do with them
This way if they come after you, this is especially effective in work situations and legal situations, it will be documented and on record. Basically blow them out of the water.
Make it a matter of fact, and don't try to change the other person's mind. In fact, act indifferent. It helps to keep it short and concise and then repeat the same short sentences over - when the flying monkeys or narcs try to tell you your own experience, or excuse or justify the Narc's behavior
Don't ever let anyone tell you how you should think or feel, nip that in the bud
They're always victims, sad! Very irresponsible!
That is SO TRUE!
The scariest thing about a narcissist is that they just don't care what their behaviour does to you, it's all about them. There's no telling what they can or will do when they lack empathy and THAT is scary.
They have no bounds in their mission to revenge imagined crimes you committed against them.
@@MindyWells-j7m my mother in a nutshell, thank you.
It's literally why murderers are predominately people with ASPD (and most people with NPD have ASPD, comorbidly). They're unable to stop themselves from the need to 'win' and if they can't feel more knowledgeable or higher status than their victim to 'win' that way, they'll resort to violence to try to 'win' that way. Get as far away as possible from psychonarcs. It's a life and death situation.
CORRECT
If you're afraid to say it, they could put a hit on you, yeah. Or do it themselves. Sabotage all your social relations, effectively commiting social homicide. Or watch you wither in depression, poverty or whatever degrading situation you're in and watch you fade away with a smile on their face. Having said that, you now know you're dealing with the worst of enemies: those who are too close. Cut them off and train your mind to be violent as well. I know it's a hard skill for empaths, but you gotta learn how to channel hate, anger and aggression to protect yourself and those you love when you need it. Yes, be prepared to assault or kill them in self defense. Think with their head when dealing with them. That's all I can advise you.
I’m a homeschool Mom, 19 years of marriage. My husband has always had Narc traits but as he’s aging he’s getting worse. No matter how clean I keep our home he uses that as a way to put me down. Cleanliness is used as control, finances is his power. He needs help and if I don’t see change I’m leaving. Life is too short to live as an employee instead of a wife, mother, and human being ❤ Thank you Danish for always bringing the truth to the secret life of Narcissists, no one wants to admit they are being emotionally abused.
He won't be changing. If it looks like he is it's a temporary manipulation.
Leave asap! You have already given enough time for him to improve. He will never change but only degrade and contaminate your children with his mindset.
They deserve to see you happy so they Can be too in the future.❤
RUN! Pack your kids stuff and your stuff and run! He will only double his narc tendencies. Y’all deserve better.
He is never changing get a plan to get out today, start getting your resources together and get out! 19 years, just remember you gave him 19 years that was more then enough time! I speak with some experience since I as well was stuck in a 11 year relationship with a narcissist, they just do the same shit on repeat to infinity and say whatever it takes to keep you in your place so they can keep abusing you.. Live your life now
Me too. 9yrs in. Want a way out but I'm pregnant with my 5th child. One day soon. I'm already gone.
Danish I'm sure I can say that you sir are appreciated everyday ... You put words to our feelings and give us strength....thank you 🙏
Oh wow, did you NAIL IT!!!! This is probably best video I have ever seen on this topic. That is for sure what makes them dangerous and all the reason to cut all contact. They are so delusional and they do believe their own lies and can therefore harm you or even murder you and feel you deserve it. They can never own their behavior. These are the most dangerous people walking on this earth. Their delusional thinking can make you crazy. I struggled for a long time to understand how they could do such horrific things to children and you perfectly explained it here.
@snowstormonsat My ex-family of lifelong abuser parents & narcissist siblings DID try to murder me! When I went No Contact they preplanned a set-up to lure me back to parents’ home where they awaited me in darkness. A sibling jumped out swinging a deadly weapon at my head and face screaming “I’ll f$&@ing KILL YOU!!!” With now ex-parents watching in satisfaction. Retaliation for my courage to go No Contact. And because these defective insecure deficient people CANNOT take the slightest rejection. Too fragile. They KNOW they are defective inside. But they don’t want others to know. So they wear their masks all the time. But an adult child deciding to go No Contact with their whole malignant narcissistic CRIMINALLY VIOLENT “family” is too much for them to take. They get murderous rage. And then after police are involved they set out to smear the victim with everyone they know. And people are either willingly stupid to believe such lies when they all KNOW the abusers have always been abusers. Or they are just like them. Either way, I cut them all out of my life. Right is right. Truth is truth. Anyone who can’t see that isn’t someone I want in my life. Better alone.
The complete disregard that narcissistic individuals show towards the potential dangers they put others in is truly disturbing, regardless of the circumstances. I've had the unfortunate experience of dealing with a narcissistic mother and spouse, and their utter indifference is truly chilling.
I absolutely agree!🎯
Me too
I too have an overt narcissist mother & a covert narcissist husband to deal with. I’m married to the narcissist for 42 yrs. & just learn’t about narcissistic abuse. It was in 2018 & that’s when I realized I was not the crazy one & overall I was not to be blamed for all the downfalls mishapes, etc in their lifes.
@@99nananyou have my sympathies. Hopefully you were finally able to break free
OKAY! 👍
The scariest thing about the narcissist is being nice to everyone else right in front of you and in the home they treat you like garbage. That's scary
more contol
Absolutely
Can you address a thing known a “narcissistic rage?” Cheating husbands , in mid-life, go through it and reject their wives. Sometimes no “ rage” is exhibited , but their decisions and choices toward a long-term marriage makes the husband turn against the wife. The husband uses a lot of “ projection .”
Check out Dr. Ramani's videos on narcissistic rage...she covers the topic very well, and I've personally experienced it myself with former narcissists I knew.
Basically realize that narcissistic rage is the most threatening thing to a narcissist's ego and delusional sense of self. There is no boundary they won't cross when triggered into something that threatens their false self, and they will lash out in the worst ways possible...even leaning towards verbal or physical abuse (if they're the type of individual to physically harm someone else.) Hope this helps and happy healing.
This happened to me too. He said "Get an old lady apartment and do whatever old ladies do", among other cruel remarks. He even helped me move.
There is “Silent RAGE!” My EX would Turn Red in the Face & appear like a Toddler holding their Breath & Ready to Blow up! His walking & mannerisms were Jerky, & Peeved, w/ Clenched Fists! I was afraid to Speak… Or, get too close for fear of the RAGE Manifesting. I took a Deep Breath, & tried to use a Relaxed Tone to Try & Inspire Regulated Emotions. But, when a Complement is taken as an Insult … Or, True Concern, as Control… Love, as Hate… Being Quiet/ Semi-Gray Rock & Lighthearted Ignoring w/ Yellow-Rock Comments, can be Best!
People, the CoNSTANT 24/7 STRESS of pre-thinking every Breath you Take, & Pre-Thinking the Coming Narc Cruel ABUSE, ACTUALLY CHANGES YOUR BRAIN! I just LEARNED… IT Causes a Trauma - Stress induced “BRAIN INJURY!” Brain Injury! We are not meant to be under 24/7 Stress, week-in & week-out… For months & YEARS… Years!!! So, You can think of the Narc as an ameba Brain-sucking parasite! Cuddle up to THAT… Sorry… Hoping to SAVE a LIFE! That’s my service project for today!
🙏🏻💛🕊🍃
They have no soul and always feel empty even after getting what they wanted...
All people have a soul..
@@annekerotterdam7499 you've clearly never experienced the Narc.
They have no soul that's why they try to take urs. EDUCATE URSELF
You just described my evil mother. She’s becoming more demonic and deluded by the day as she nears the last years of her life. What a life she’s lived
May she never rest in peace....amen!
You have just described my mother, all I can think about every day is how much longer have i and my sibling to put up with this. Unfortunately this is a very sad fact of my life.
They get worse with age and they go from human beings to full blown demons in the flesh. No kidding!
Same, she passed away 4 years ago, and I swear to you my life has felt cursed ever since then. She cursed me all my life, so I guess she's in Hell doing it to me from there??? She claimed to be very religious, sometimes I wonder did she plead for her forgiveness in her last hour, or was she promoted to a full fledged demon?
It's a spiritual war for sure. My destiny is a bit of a Light Warrior, empath to heal, we probably all have this light path
@@courtneymeyers82PSALM 73
The scariest thing about the narcs is that they never stop bullying, abusing, harassing you. After many decades they can still try to harm you! The anger, envy never diminishes with time. It's scary to know that you are never safe, they hold grudges forever.
It's when their eyes turn black and you watch the evil smirk come across their face where you see the extent of the sadistic pleasure they get from hurting you.
Yes, truth!
Yes! I have seen his blue eyes turn black and I thought it was going to be the end for me
Thank you for this video. I have a current situation where I presented actual 3rd party emails about the narcs scheme against me. Still I was told they would not "waste one minute of their time discussing the situation" because I was the crazy one! Then a complete discard even though I presented their own emails to them as proof! Of course the next step was to tell everyone what a liar, nut job etc I was. There is no way to adequately express the severity of what these people will do to try to ruin you. It is absolute abuse.
@@jbrown2908It most probably won't. They get away with it, that's just how it works. That's all about escaping accountability, and it's why they make all that fuss. You have to be very determined and vengeful to give them the taste of their own medicine. Which is probably not healthy for your own brain so you either choose to kill them and kill yourself in the process or live and let them get away scotch free plus letting them ruin your reputation because addressing it would mean you'd have to kill them and die, and that's precisely the cycle you're trying to run from.
Don't waste the opportunity to expose them if a very good opportunity arises to shame them in public to their peers, exposing evidence and gathering like-minded individuals. But only do it if you feel it would destroy them so profoundly they will lack the strength to come after you in the future. There's no half measures with narcissist (cluster B individuals), you better know that. Until them, bide your time and play dead.
I’m not an expert, but this is the scariest thing I have seen at work. My boss had a female narcissist boss that specifically targeted him. He kept getting into fender benders and then an outright near death crash on his motorcycle. I suspected he was subconsciously doing anything to avoid coming to work. Years later, a similar woman became my boss and suddenly I was extremely uncoordinated, falling down stairs, breaking my toe on a bed post, etc.
I used to have extremely bad sciatica especially when walking out to places with narcs it was a struggle to walk and to stand, was in my twenties and no kids. It's the feeling of 'I can't stand it' the way they make your feel but we don't listen to our bodies or think everything will get better and blowover coz we don't know what we've done anyway. That day doesn't come.
@@farhanah2244 exactly. I think it’s the wolf caught in a trap, chewing it’s own foot off to escape. My boss was out an entire year because of his injury.
Witchcraft their demon's are manifesting when these things happen to us.
They curse you, they wish the most God awful things onto you. It's called a psychic attack, this is the reason their smear campaigns are overwhelming- because it's like a tidal wave of extremely negative energy directed toward you
They will cause accidents too, by getting someone to drive in a dangerous manner causing you to have an accident. Maybe move away from flying monkeys.😀 Best wishes for you
Dealing with it today ...
Sadness ....
Getting called name's
Days now ..
Pray please I have been dealing with this for 30 year's I'm dying from heart issues and yes everything is my fault.
Pray please 😢😢😢😢😢😢
I feel you! 🙏 According to them it is always your fault and never their fault, it is sickening! If you can in any way or form, go away from them as you need relaxation and peace for your heart as well! Sending you healing 💚
Praying that the Lord will comfort you and show you a way of escape. Either physical escape or a way while you're still there. I am praying for divine intervention for you Janet.
I'm praying right now you have to leave your heart would be better
Everything you said makes perfect sense to me. The lies are second nature to these individuals. Truly the scariest thing is the long line of devastation that leads to their feet.
Hi Danish, thank you for another great video. I did dare to challenge his nonsense, and it has left me crushed and broken. Even though I feel that I've come a long way with it all, I've got so much further to go. I've been unable to leave the house for 5 years and I'm starting to worry that I'll never heal enough to live well again. Much love and prayers to everyone 🙏 🏴
You’ll get there- try and take it easy on yourself and not feel like “I should be” or “why haven’t I gotten better yet?” You are getting better every day at deep levels that have to heal first before it will manifest on the outside where you can see/feel the results. Just watching channels like this shows that you are healing just by learning to trust yourself and your learning (about narcissism) rather than having those thoughts implanted by the narcissist.
It takes as long as it takes 😊. You’ll get there!
@@chrisa1481 thank you for that. I know you're right. Thanks so much 🙏 🏴
@@elainesmith1200 the same thing happened to me when I finally confronted my husband’s brother (years of abusing my husband and then me, too, after I started to get mentally healthy). So much of recovery is learning who you are outside of the terror of walking on eggshells and morphing into whatever the narcissist demands you be- nowhere near as easy as it sounds, to be sure! What an incredible journey of self discovery you are now embarking on!!
@@elainesmith1200it takes time to heal, take it easy, first the cognitive dissonance disappeared, then self love appears, you start taking care about your heal not just physical but mental and emotional, you will have he desire for spiritual growth, doesn't matter your religion, faith it's a very important key for healing after being abused by these demons, they rotten your soul, don't let them do so! I really wish you healing since I am in the same process too (mine started 8 years ago, and yet I am not done).
@elainesmith1200 Is it at all possible to get online therapy with a therapist that works with narcissistic abuse victims? Like Danish here? When I was married to a narc, I secretly went for therapy on my day off which was Tuesdays. Ex hubby did not know, he only found out in court when I was getting a restraining order after running away that I had been seeing a therapist. The therapist said nothing about narcissm, but she explained how ex hubby had groomed me to believe the lies he was telling me. How it wasn't my fault, how it was emotional abuse.
I got so empowered, I stopped reacting to his yellin, I got the energy and self confidence toleave him. .
Wow! Narsists believe their own lies and think they are reality and their feelings are facts. They lack empathy and accountability for their actions and feel entitled to do whatever they accept as appropriate in the spur of the moment. This is really the scariest things about the narcisists. Thank you for This brilliant observation Danish.
1 like 1 comment.
Danish ur encyclopedia father of narcissism study thanks for bring this
Their temper
I totally agree 💯 with you it's frightening it literally turns you into a nervous wreck😢
Yes, especially when the tiniest thing could set it off, a look, a sigh, a dish in the sink.
Rage
Active volcano
I once tried to jump out of a work van going 110 on I-5 in Northern California because it felt safer than staying in the van.
The diabolical devil brain. 😐
At 48 years old I discovered the reason behind all the madness I have experienced s;ince childhood. Father, grandiose narcissist, mother, covert malignant narcissist, brother, garden variety narcissist (golden child), sister textbook covert, first relationship, psychopathic narcissist, second relationship-husband, covert narcissist (professional victim). Grandma, grandiose narcissistis, Grandpa, the most humble and giving person I have ever met (empath). The world is filled with narcs!!! Danish, you are one of the few that explain narcissism as aaccurately as I have experienced it.
That describes my cousins
My other cousin says they were never held accountable as children
It kinda makes sense; they live in an alternate reality and don't comprehend the irrationality
The rage
This IS scary. I notice this. My mom & sister justify their abuse of me. They act like they're justified. I enjoy your videos. For many years my mother and sister had double teamed and bullied me. They do this because people compliment me in front of my mother & sister. My mom & sister were often overlooked. They are hostile towards me. My dad and me were pals. This bothered my mom because I got along well with my dad. People usually told me in front of my sister that I am prettier. I know that would bother anyone. But she & mom became angry. They plotted, schemed, lied to anyone who would listen. It got back to me that they were telling people they were the victims. They lied and actually BELIEVED their own lies. They told people I was the one bullying THEM. They told people I am jealous of them. This is not true. But I think the reason they still double up against me is because they believe I deserve their abuse. They will never change.
Modern society is full of lies that the superficial things are more important than the real values. That's why, even though I totally understand your situation and your mom and sister are clearly not behaving well, I hope you are also aware of the superficial privilege you have been given without working for it. Use it in a good way. If there's hope for your mom and sister, try to compliment them about some good personality traits that they are having. I think it's sad if women destroy each other over superficial things. That's the game that patriarchy has always been playing with us.
We can do better.
💗
@@kape2469What a delusional response. You put women and men against one another, when it's actually an issue of cluster B personality disorders. If you show these kind of people your teeth while they bully you, it will only reassure them of the abuse and trust me they will view you even more as WEAK, PATHETIC, SPINELESS and deserving of abuse. No matter the gender, that's what they do.
They actually MIGHT respect/fear you or at least leave you alone if you hint the capacity to be just as vicious. That means you will find cracks to belittle and humiliate a fellow 'woman' to defend yourself.
Cut off coñtact until you are stronger! I have suffered from this all my!
So spot on. Lived with that exact same behavior for way too many years. They are truly broken and eff’ed up people.
Capital. F UPPED 4SURE TWITSED TWO YR OLDS
The quick temper that erupts out of no where.
Volcanic eruptions I call them. Active volcano
Correct. They are too short tempered...over sensitive , easily teased, king-size ego, very rude, ruthless, emotion less, no feelings for you and your family. Everything is about them always. They are full of themselves. They are full of lies and deception. They love money and status.
So yes I told my x Narc wife stop speaking Down at me that I’m not going to put up with it anymore. She tried to choke me when I pushed her off she waits a day and then calls the police and tells them I attacked her. I get a call from the sheriffs office telling me she called but the sheriff asked her questions and he realizes it was her who attacked me. And he asked me if his findings was true I told him yes it was a few days later she calls me and says “ we’ll it took you a full week to come up with that lie that I attacked you. This is the delusion I didn’t respond at all and haven’t seen her or my child in over a year. And I’m sooo happy to have my life back I’ll never ever let her back into my life they just suck the life out of you. And they will kill you given the chance.
Danish. This explains a whole lot. Thank you so much for this message. ALL Praises to the Heavenly Father!
If you tell this to a narcissist , they will say the same thing about you , that you are the one with delusional belief
Wonder if I'm the anomaly here. My narcissist never denied being a narcissist when told he was. Not that it was a good idea. Am sure other narcissists would flip it, crop I know from high school are mostly the somatic breed.
@@dianaalyssa8726 if they tell you something , believe it . Mine was covert and those are the most dangerous breed as they drop their mask when you really need someone who cares . To find out at the lowest moment of your life that the person you sacrificed so much for and loved from the bottom of your heart , is actually someone who wants to push you off the cliff when you are struggling with serious medical issues already , to have emotional trauma of finding out that the person you loved really never existed behind the mask !
@penijoni1316 she made me feel I had met my soulmate , until the mask dropped , unfortunately when I had really needed emotional support and a caring touch !
That's called projection.
They are so miserable in the end...they put themselves in a sort a of hell and struggle to drag you down...unable to feel learn and grow...their Absolute pride doesn't allow them to ask for help...and the problem is they are so many nowadays and always growing in number...so much of our preciuos humanity is being wasted in such a stupid way...and in general a narcissist believes ha is so very much intelligent
That he knows how to push all my buttons.
I am married with a narcissist and I have 2 children who are financially dependent on him, I have to protect myself and my children. Emotionally I’m strong and I have a lot of faith 🙏 I try not to talk to him to much. When my children’s situation is different, maybe then things will change… They have a personality disorder that is difficult to treat, medically speaking. Thanks for your videos. 🙏God bless you for your amazing work you do.
I’m afraid?
Grateful?
My daughter is with him?
I had never heard of narcissism until 3 weeks after
Offering an uncontested divorce to my very successful lawyer husband of 20 years
We have a little girl
She is 12
The divorce is not final as he filed for 100% physical and legal custody
Please lmk if you can refer to me any advocates
To help me have custody
I was 44 when I had my only child she us 12 and I am deeply wounded as I lived my life waiting to have a baby to nurture and create a family
Thank you DANISH
😢😢❤
I hear your anguish, so sorry you are experiencing such torment. You can get through this and triumph! Only believe.
I had hell unleashed on me after fleeing with the baby & a few carrier bags, left him with the house and everything. My ex husband waited some years to turn some of my family against me, when I was most vulnerable he got my relatives to finance him in court against me and my child... truly evil.
If they were safe, I would never have left in the first place.
3 year battle and the only reason I live to tell - with a legal order of NO CONTACT for our safety - is because I cried out to Jesus for help. Not churchianity, not religion, no help in man-made prisons - but God!
Their lies were well constructed, and after so much time it was hard to refute them and get evidence to prove my Truth. Its a spiritual battle. See Tina Swithin One Mom 's Battle Channel ...and for your daughter's sake, sincerely ask your Creator for help. Everyone is amazed at all I've survived, wasn't raised in a Christian family, I found God on my knees, dying in my own home. Stay safe, document everything. God is close the brokenhearted 🙏 ❤️
Thank you I’ll keep praying and knowing god will help
One thing I know for sure is my trust and now seeing his actions. I’m shocked yet so proud of who I am and who I get to be each day through this. I would never have known about this if DR RAMANI DANISH Dr Les Carter and his 🐕 dog I listen often and know through my meditations and clarity of soul I found my way out of this and I simply thought this husband could be even happier with us divorced?
Why not? He always seemed so unhappy and would clearly instigate arguments those last few months between my then 10 year old daughter and myself.
I honestly thought I want us all happy and I was tired of him blaming me? Who knows what this man is doing?
I cannot believe he is hurting out daughter? Like this?
My daughter did say
“I wish daddy trusted me”
I realized trust was something I never received from him either
I’m proud of my little girl for being able to say this
I don’t want to cross the bridge to say too much it could back fire?
Dr Joe Dispenza week long retreat and continuous meditation’s after his retreat and every day since November 2020 have led me out of this thing I was in
I cannot call it a marriage
I love all of you and your support today
Thank you
@@Kimberly-iy3clt is heart-wrenching. I agree that at this time, I am keeping my sanity because I cried out to Jesus in deep, deep agony, regarding my narc mom. She's been hell to deal with. Many years ago, I also cried out to Jesus during a messy divorce from narc hubby.
My lawyer was saying, "It's psychological warfare. Whoever breaks down loses the case" His family was funding lawyers against me. I cried out to the Lord Jesus in earnest. He was asking for primary custody of our two year old. I got primary custody. The Lord led me to first forgive him right there. So I unburdened. Then He went to battle for me. Be very composed. Be aware that if he hasn't yet, he will turn your child against you forever if he can. Mom turned my son ageonst me. Narc hubby turned my daughter against me once she grew up. I am praying for you. Be strong and courageous.
Strenght on, there's a lawyer who fights narcs, oh ya, Rebecca.
K sugar, Rebecca Zungs your girl, she'll tell you to document everything, she's the bomb 💣, remember you are stronger than him, better believe it!
Narcissists actually summon demons. The demons dont leave them. And they know what they did.
I firmly believe they are hybrids among us....look at their eyes the demonic facial expressions... The coldness inside them
I am confused because other experts have said people with NPD absolutely DO know what they are doing.
@@sallysorbello7303I sm shocked about this too. But here is what I suspect, when they're younger, they do know. As yhry get into their 60s, 70s 80s, maybe they lose touch with reality and completely believe their crazy stuff... just a thought. Even then, what's hard to explain is the two-face, angel in public and devil in private... that shows someone who knows what they're doing...
@@sallysorbello7303hey I’m one of the few specials. No, we don’t have any control. We don’t even know what we’re doing. It’s like some kind of energy taking over. But trust me we don’t mean no harm. 😢
Are you reading the bible, the fake tale made up bij narcs? People suffering from NPD don't actually summon demons.
YES!! Their mental gymnastics to justify and get away with what they do is MADDENING! It kept me trapped for so long that I am still reeling and trying to make sense of everything. And I feel SO much anger. It is not fair, and there should be retribution for this! I know there never will be. But that doesn't stop me from wishing or searching for it.
There will be retribution.Alleluiah. "retribution is mine saith the Lord" roman 12:19, deuteronom 32:35
@@wateroil4230 I have to believe that. I don't know how to cope otherwise. The hopelessness and helplessness that lasted for so long has become anger. I need to believe they will get what they deserve.
@@southerncatladyThe anger will turn into bitterness if it hasn't already. Bitterness is cancer waiting to happen. Bitterness is such a heavy yoke to carry. As long as you're bitter, you're stuck in a bond of hatred with this person who hurt you.
You're glued to them via this bond.
When I cried out to Jesus, he led me to forgive the narcissist who was filing frivolous motion after motion in divorce court against me. I did not know how to forgive, but my Lord literally taught me. Please find a way to forgive this person/people. You don't have to let them know if you're no contact. You don't have to regain contact. You don't have to trust them again, since narcs can't be trusted anyway. You're not forgivingvthem for their profit, but for your profit. To unburden yourself. To be happy again seeing that joy and bitterness do not co-exist. So you can be free. So you can move on. I am rooting for you!
@@southerncatlady Don't worry, one day they all will...
@@MindyWells-j7m Thank you! 🖤And I'm so sorry that you went through that, and that yours started filing motions against you! They will truly do anything to hurt us, or get a reaction.
I can see how it could turn to bitterness. Mine has been turning to self hatred, wondering why I still struggle to stay strong and choose myself. It turns to depression because I have no energy left after all the energy I poured into this toxic mess. But that bond is very real, nonetheless, and it is such a difficult tie to break.
I'm working on forgiveness. I know it's for my healing, not for them. It's the anger that I turn toward myself that keeps me from that. I AM learning, though... In teaspoon fulls and baby steps, I am learning.
Once I forgive myself, I can forgive this person. It's a process. It's just so hard some days.
Wow, you have described the narcissist truthfully and succinctly, the workings of their mind and how deranged they are. Thank you for this amazing video. 👏
Their rage!
Believing their own lies is a super valid point. No matter how much you love them and are trying to help them they don’t see the truth. No argument can win them over they only believe their lie.
THEY WILL LIE EVEN IF TRUTH SOUNDS BETTER TO PROTECT FRAILEGO
This is really helpful! I can better understand why it is pointless to argue with the narcissist. Thank you.
All of my parents are narcissists. How might one escape silently? I need to heal my codependency so I never go back. I'm saving $3,200 so I'm secure
Prepare your escape very well and save a lot of money so you can live by yourself! It is so liberating to live by yourself!
@@Rosalie-ct8mi amen! How much would you save? I'm on a good track, have a job I love and good friends. It's the savings aspect
Lacking ability to introspect lends itself to also lacking a key personality trait assisting one to empathize.
That is key & necessary for one to place themselves "in the shoes" of others.
Having no insight is not and karma will open ur mind if the narcissists figures it out don't bet more then u can afford onit
Do you ever really heal from extremely narc parents? I left at 15, but still tried for years to get my needs met and have a relationship with them. Over and over, especially my mother, tried to literally destroy me in every manner possible. My other brothers and sisters are narcs also. Had a massive breakdown at 23. I'm now 58 and there have been SO many. Do you ever really heal? I keep to myself...so much trauma, so much damage, so little time left......and NO one has EVER given a shit about me. I've been just a punching bag. I'm collecting dogs now and hiding and doing art. I'm just so tired.
Keep building your own interests and connections you feel are safe. Enjoy your dogs but don't overwhelm yourself with too many. You don't want to go from comfort and relief to stress. Remember God cares about all of us. I've been parent free for 15 years. It's been good for me. I do have a spouse and kid, a dog and cat. I have my church and faith. These things help me tremendously! You'll build. You'll do better but if the sense of loss never goes away, I find that normal. Just keep moving forward. 👍
Keep the faith!❤ I'm at similar mark in the road. At 58 I feel I finally have all the knowledge. But I'm 58! And the birth family and ex- husband and others who maliciously took so much from me have long ago discarded and disregarded me. So my mind is now as clean and unfettered as it was as a 9 year old me. I read, laugh, study, exercise, explore. I live without judgement. ❤❤
@@blk5124 thank you
@@lennie1703 Yes, in many ways I feel like it is a new beginning.
@@blk5124 only two dogs. Just rescued one. No, I do my best to keep the stress very low. The dog thing is hard in Mexico...every time you turn around there is one in need. This is a puppy, day three and he's not much trouble at all really.
Their manipulative lies
they don't see you as a person with feelings
THESE PEOPLE ARE sick mentally why you want to spread false lies to cause division among friends and family no contact is the best way to go run from them
My narcissist ex destroyed what little self esteem I had left. Wish I could sue him for mental cruelty.😢
Hi Danish, I was wondering if you may be able to do a video on How to fully recover from Narcissistic Abuse? Also, in your opinion, is it ever possible to stop thinking about the abuse? I was raised by a Malignant Narcissistic Mother and a Covert Narcissistic Father. Both of my siblings are Golden children and they are both Narcissists. I was the scapegoat. I stayed in this role my entire life. I knew they were all sick and evil. I experienced the biggest betrayal and it was the straw that broke the camel's back. This was 5 years ago and I have not seen them since. I work on my healing every day but I really do not want this horrible upbringing and abusive family to haunt me forever. Is there a way to completely move on? Thank you so much for your videos.
It is very hard to achieve. But it is rationally plausible. Focus on identifying negative patterns of your behavior and personality injected in you by abusive behavior. Low self esteem, leading to bad habits, submissive demeanor, lack of joy on activities, inclination towards self-isolation, etc. Identify those bad traits and start from there building up the personality that suits your values. Confidence is tricky, but it will improve as long as you take care of yourself, and do things that are in line with self-love. Forgive yourself immediately, break the cycle of guilt. Also, try and build a healthy social circle and support. That means you will have to learn to support other people in need to, so they can help you when you need it. Be a good friend and expect nothing less in return.
For me it's the gaslighting
Useful information. Thank you Danish.
God must have been enlightening me. I knew his thought process was just not normal. I got where I didn't share things with him because I somehow just knew better. I wanted to as he was my husband but he just thought different.
The most dangerous thing is they will DESTROY thier own children in the name of revenge against the other parent. They hate but cannot truly love, and the children suffer in ways that ruin lives.
YES. My dying ex narc admitted that he tried to destroy me in custody court because I remarried. He even molested my children!
Temper
How do I contact you to be able to seek help. I’m married to a narcissistic & living with him for 42 years. I’m throughly exausted. I really need help.
so spot on!!
Angry for no reason. Along with utter delusions of grandeur
As always, well done, Danish Bashir. I've always thought the narcissists in my life knew they were lying, but your version makes better sense. I've recently had enough, and have cut them both out of my life. And, you know what... I feel as free as a bird.
I think the scariest thing about them is unpredictability. I never know what's going to trigger violence. And it's escalated to a broken neck. I have another plan to leave but he says I wont make it out alive. That it's not a matter of if he'll kill me, it's when. And he finds that statement funny and laughs when he says it. And if anyone were to approach him concerned , he would either tell them I'm lying or he was joking.
Your videos are totally blowing me away. In 14 yrs, I've never heard anyone understand him like you do. I've been out before but never for too long. I know ppl think I'm crazy for feeling sorry for him, but there are enough glimpses somewhere that make me feel like this time will be different. He's a child in an old man's body. I don't usually discuss this out loud but I want to say thank you and I'm both scared and glad I found your videos. I only wish there was a formula I could follow to achieve complete freedom. It's all I've ever known though. I grew up in a home with conditional love. So it's always been that way. Parents don't grow out of it either. I've always been the black sheep. Anyways, thank you for your honesty and opening up and telling your own story. It gives me hope knowing if you exist, then people actually get out and stay out.
There is a saying that if someone threatens you, believe them. Pray, get away from danger, and ask God to show you the way. 💟
I called the pastor in. Oh, that's a no-no and then came the DISCARD !
Get help!
Believe him and run as fast as you possibly can and never look back.
The scariest part is they have NO SOUL.
The scariest part is that they tell lies about you and people believe them.
The smirk of their vindictive pleasure is not scary but infuriating.
They are camelian
Thank you Danish, for this video. I appreciate your explanations and agree that the scariest is their delusional thinking and disorder of thoughts and feelings. That has been the most bizarre thing I've ever had to get my little head around. I've listened to it twice, and saved it for a refresher.
The scariest thing is they don’t respect boundaries and they never respect you when you try to tell them no. They only care about thier wants and needs. And whenever you express what you want and need they don’t truly hear you. Your words will go out the other ear to them. Narcissists people don’t truly know you to the core that is how you will know. They mainly know/care about superficial things about you and what they can gain from you. They are also energy vampires!!!
So true.. they never really get to know the real you. They are so selfish. I don't think my husband knows me at all after 18 years. 😢
@@kimberleyi9907 aww I am sorry are you still with him and do you share any kids together?
@mariahbethea5967 yes unfortunately I am. I have a 16 year old with him so I feel like I can leave now.. I'm just so sad.. and broken but I know it is best to leave. The sad thing is that I was always so loyal and loved him but he never truly loved me. So I am leaving a man that I love. However I deserve better; I know. A little scary starting over. I am 54.
@@kimberleyi9907 Good for you sweetie ! You just answered your own question “he never truly loved you”. Get out before it’s too late so you can take your own happiness back. And someone else can truly love you for your soul and who you are.
@mariahbethea5967 thank you
Everything you said in this video explains my mother. I am so grateful that i came across your videos. Thank you
Excellent presentation - Let the healing begin !
The scariest part for me was when they contacted me again after three years. They 'apologized' and said they were diagnosed with bipolar disorder. They went on to say they went to a doctor for diagnoses, and now is taking medication. They wanted me to give them another chance. So I moved back and it seemed like we could have a normal life again. The Joke was on me though because it was all another lie. They needed someone to help pay rent. When the raging started up again, I delicately asked if they wanted help going to see their doctor. They looked at me like I was crazy, and tried to argue that it was me who was bipolar and was on medication...
That week I left but saw that they targeted people I worked with. They posted pictures of their new friendship with people they couldn't have even bothered to get to know while I was around. Even half naked pics with the new victims. They are sick sick sick people who don't even deserve sympathy for their condition.
They count on are sympathy and piss an moan when they don't get I DONT REWARD BAD BEHAVIOR
I call them entity, not human. They are actually the devil in this earth, devil is a tiny word, but like people discuss or wonder how a monster would look like in this age, this is them, totally under facade and nobody except victims and figure it out. All things u described is my mom n dad. My healing started after my dad died in 2017. But I don't think I will ever be happy. I hate humans anyway
@@jbrown2908 hey listen i dint write anything over here.. whatever I wrote is even smaller than a.summery so a lot of things are missing. M tired and sick to write so much... When u r born to both narc parents u are facing things since childhood and then however strong u are u become ultra sensitive to the world after u step out of ur house.. yes all people r not narcs but I have been recognising selfishness n evilness inside people very quickly now and that frustrates me.. m not trying to spread toxicity but the truth is most people will watch u being killed and be unbothered. M an animal rescuer, I mean not professionally but by accident, so the amount of people I would have liked have filtered out even more and actually the filtered out people r the only ones with a good heart. Pay close attention, a person who behaves badly to helpless creatures would behave the same with u if u were that helpless/not of any use to them personally/they dint have to worry about being in jail if they kicked u. So whatever I wrote I a drop in the ocean kinda thing, it's the big picture.. plus i have been doing self therapy since I was 12.5 yo and never had anybody in the world to listen to me. Now that m taking therapy may be few days a yr, the therapist says that I have sorted out most things myself, I just need a little nudge. But u see when u r a narc abuse survivor ur intelligence won't help u cz u have been programmed to think a certain way, it's not easy.. I have cried tears worth 1000 lives already, used every fucking second of my life to contemplate what was going on. So don't u dare give me ur toxic positivity. That's less than useless for me n for abuse survivors .that's exactly what Danish said in other vdo, that one must be away from such people, who say such things.. u think a person would have been alive if they dint work on themselves?think before u write. Be logical
@@spdadventurer1754."People will watch you being killed and be unbothered",,,exactly what happened to Jesus Christ and why He laid His life for those who love The Truth. So they can have life and life abundantly." retribution is mine saith the Lord " roman 12:19 .repent of your hate ,love CHRIST, be saved born again and blessed.
@@wateroil4230 m not christ, surprise surprise! N he was not subject to narc abuse for thirty yrs or more... U go get on crucified if u r such a huge believer in suffering. And also what the fuck are u guys doing here on this channel? Just here to spread ur manipulative reasons for being abused? This is not the place for ur agendas..
Danish, your videos are so insightful! Could you please make one that deals in depth with the correlation (I say, cause and effect) between the stress of narcissistic abuse and things like high blood pressure, cancer, etc. And maybe about how those conditions improve post relationship? You did one about breathing, which I found very interesting! For many years, I would develop acute bronchitis every January and it lasted 4-6 weeks! In another situation, my whole mouth was suddenly full of canker sores...every surface of my mouth! My doctor looked into my mouth and he was shocked! He'd never seen anything like it! I moved away from my covert narcissistic husband 7 months ago, but after only 3 months into my healing journey, I discovered I had breast cancer. It's not in my family's genetic makeup so I'm quite certain that stress played a significant role!
Yess the stress can cause all kind of things! But the cancer can also go away again as you start to heal. I had extreme stress at a certain point and I got a hard disc in my breast and it left again after a certain time. Talk to your body and say that the danger is gone and you can relax now. The body is so intelligent and please do not go to Big P#harma and take che#mo as that causes cancer 🙏If you can go to a naturopath or bioresonance therapist who can help you balance your body more ! Stress is very dangerous and I wish you all the health and relaxation 💚
Narcissist tie the souls of their victims to a demon (familiar spirit) to control them. That's why it's difficult for people to separate and go no contact from them. In fact very difficult to move on in life.
I agree with everything you said because I have been living with one for 32 years. He had me believing it was my and others fault for a lot of negative things that happened to us I even started pulling away from some persons which I realize later was what he wanted. I eventually walked out and even now I cannot process some of the things he has said to make me look bad to others. Many persons have spoken to him BUT I am the one who is wrong and I need to APOLOGIZE. I realize that I am still fearful of him and I pray God to give me the Spirit of a sound mind.
I watched this video several times and saved it. It amazes me that as I'm almost out of a 20 year hell hole, how much abuse I have suffered from this evil creature. Two more months and it's my turn to live my life at 66 years old in peace, health and quiet. Thank you so much for your videos. They have been a Godsend.. 😊
💯💯💯 Before I understood any of this, the first major argument I ever had confronting my covert narc parent about my abuse (I know, big mistake!) was about her insulting my hair after this cute little girl said something nice about it after we had a meal at a restaurant and were on our way home. My abuser hates my hair, is jealous/envious of me, and hates that I love it and take pride in it. HUGE trigger. I was so upset I confronted her about it. This resulted in 3-HOUR long argument.
I was so angry, humiliated, and upset knowing she had brainwashed and shamed me into chemically straightening my hair for twenty years for her convenience and now she insulted me once again after I had finally found my confidence, did the big chop, and went natural. I was standing several feet from her the whole time, but she was so angry, delusional, and confused about her own guilt and shame that she accused me of being overly sensitive, said she never abused me, she "whooped us because we were bad", then shouted in a rage at me to stop "attacking her" or she was going to call the police. The police! On her daughter, for demanding accountability for her lifelong abuse me and my siblings. All she had to do was apologize for insulting me, my physical appearance, and part of my racial identity. Instead, she threatened to have her own daughter arrested. THAT'S THE DISGUSTING, UNMASKED TRUTH OF NARC DELUSION, MY FRIENDS!
I cried while writing this. This is the thing I remember about that evening. Not my hairstyle. Not the little girl's face or what else she said to me. Not what my parent looked like or what she talked about at the restaurant. This is the night I learned that narcs cant be reasoned with because they are truly evil and willfully unaccountable for their the horrific things they do. Would have been better off talking to a wall.
Do you think it’s a bad thing to stay away from your narcissistic parents? I have over the years stopped all contact with my parents, off and on. I only started to communicate with them out of guilt.
Can a leopard change its spots? If you desire sweet/mean treatment, manipulation and abuse to shrink the hippocampus in physiological neuroplastic brain damage then keep returning to the toxic field.
If you desire, healthy, healing, growth, reciprocal respect and love as a human created with inherent worth and value - grieve, find a new field. These people murder, sometimes by getting you to do the job for them. Do not partake, choose life, don't look back 🙏✨️
@@FaithfulandTrue949 thank you for your response.
@@jbrown2908 thank you for your response.
@@FaithfulandTrue949 very well said! 🌟
Please. Please. Please, be careful.
I was in no contact with Narc's family especially with NM for seventeen years. 17 years.
The biggest mistake I made in my life was to reconnect with NM.
They will fool you, tens more than before.
DON'T DO IT.
Been there
💯
The scariest thing for me is I wasn't important enough to not be sought out to be abused. I was just there to be a professional forever target for however she felt like lacing into me.
Cant win a narc
They push you to do things then let you alone ...
The scariest thing about all of them is when they're mad they look like Lucifer himself but too scared to face the 🪞.
0:21 you completely hit the hammer on the nail. Spot on! If you’re thinking this, you’ve gotten a slither of what hell feels like.
Thank you again.
They can turn people against you !!
I’ve never looked at my husbands messages but decided to today
He googled “what do I do when my wife calls me a narcissist?” The advice? Ignore it! I’m the narcissist not him! Then I see that he was telling his female assistant who I dislike that he thinks I’m suffering from depression from menopause. That’s why I have confronted him. She recommended a supplement to take. Yes that’s all I need is a supplement.
Finding out he’s been talking with “friends” about me. He has no friends that I know of except people he free dives with. By the way he’s leaving for a month for a free dive competition in Honduras! Kids start school then etc etc but I had no choice in the matter. Then reading his schedule for diving and he commented that wife is having anxiety and depression issues that’s affecting his diving. His solution? Meditate. He’s talking to all these strangers about me but won’t spend a second talking with me! Now I know the last 23 years have been a lie.
I’ll be filing for separation when he is gone.
I didn’t think the gaslighting thing would apply to me but it’s obvious it does. He’s gaslighting me already and talking about OUR marriage to people who don’t even know me.
I’m devastated right now. Will have to sell the house we’ve been in for 21 years. I’m so overwhelmed right now. I have an 18 and 13 year old as well. My son is starting college. Also I’ve found out he’s been conversing with my sister in another state about me. He told her not to tell me. And she hasn’t! Then she started following him on Instagram. He’s staying with my family in CA for a few days too which includes my sister. My sister now has also not been there for me. My nephew has PTSD because of what my sister has allowed to happen. Im realizing that she too is a narcissist. She talks to my father about me. Honestly I feel betrayed by all the people that supposedly love me. Both my parents are only children. I stopped speaking with my 80 year old father last year…for good. Then my sister and now my nephew. My mom and I are ok but she defends my sister etc. That is all my family. My husbands family is even worse. They are cruel to me.
I’m 56 and this has been the most difficult year of my life!
I’m glad my eyes are finally open but damn it’s painful. Realizing I’ve been betrayed by all the people that are supposed to love me. Standing up for oneself is not easy…actually this is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. Husband and father both in the same year too!
I’m exhausted from having to keep my emotions in check. That’s not natural to me.
I’ve allowed this man to manipulate me.
And he is getting advice from people that don’t know me.
This is just the beginning too.
I’m heartbroken 💔 right now
It sound like he's trying to set you up for a "suicide" by telling other's that you are depressed. Be careful, you are in a dangerous time when you leave. God bless!
I'm sorry you have been put through so much. I'm glad your kids aren't little at least. I wish you a safe and speedy exit.
Don't just file for a separation while he's gone, please leave if you can. You may need to get a restraining order if necessary. The reason you need to be EXTREMELY careful is, as someone else said, he is telling people you are depressed, so if you turn up as a staged "suicide" people will believe his narrative, and will tell that to investigators. He's setting you up.
Also know that if a narcissist knows you're leaving them, the narcissistic injury can be too much for them and they can harm you.
I had to run to a DV shelter. When I called the shelter, they told me when victims want to run, that can usually be the most dangerous day of their life Your hubby has recruited flying monkeys like your sister so you may not want to confide in any family until you're safely separated from him. Even then, be vigilant. After I left ex hubby, he got my friends on his side, so I was mourning the death of my marriage and my friendships at the same time. Dreadful. Be safe!
I'm in the same situation. We deserve better. Start taking care of yourself. I know it is going yo be difficult but I want a different life. Too many years have been wasted on him.
My ex always thought everyone else was wrong. He was only the one who was right. He said his indian family were trying to put spells on him. And if i didn't agree i was told harshly im not understanding him and i dont know them like he does . Until i found it easier to just agree with him
They make up a lie, then I think once they have said the words it sets in concrete in their mind, so when their lie is challenged they are greatly offended
Their demon is the scariest part.
Demon eyes
This was spot on. Thank you very much. My workplace has been destroyed by narcissistic leader ship. I’m getting near retirement. All I can do is laugh at these people. They are insane.
Imagine my workplace is a ship that sank five years ago. These jokers are driving the ship on the bottom. And they think everything is fine.😅
Offended by everything, ashamed of nothing.
The most dangerous thing for the narc, is ME
For me, after finally successfully divorcing my narcissist husband 15 years ago, the scariest thing is never knowing when he'll come burn my house down.
That fear is real. My mom was 79, her narc boyfriend 85. She died in a mysterious house fire. He conveniently lived in the house next door. They were still together.
I agree with you 100 prc. They actually beleive their own lies it is really unpleasant and scary. They do not live in reality, they make up the reality to fit their own purpose.
My question: What do you think? - And what is the reason: WHY they always get away - and so easily - with their criminalistic ways: How they cruel, destructive + abusive treat others??? 😮😮😮😢
It's so unfair that they say you're unstable and need meds when I have been placed on anti-anxiety meds because of the abuse I went through.
This week has been really cathartic for me. A lot of things that have been nagging at me for decades have finally become clear. So thanks for that. I almost feel not exactly scrubbed clean,but the dirty washing has been layed out for my inspection and appraisal in an almost clinical mindset. I feel like I am carrying out an autopsy on the relationship with my dad that I have decided to bring to an end.
For me, the scariest thing about the narcissist is the love bombing.
Getting love bombed by my ex was the greatest experience of my life. I miss her as a result. I miss a cold, cruel, sadistic, selfish person because of an act she played on me when I was getting to know her. I know it was fake, but it will inevitably influence my future prospective relationships. Even though the person I fell for never truly existed.
I believe my father is also a narcissist, so walking on eggshells with my ex and avoiding confronting her so I wouldn’t hurt her ego was very familiar to me.
And that results in behaviors that are totally opposite to what they say
The scariest thing is actually, that only we can give them power. After I figured out to read the signs, learned recognise my triggers and made plans what to answer or how to react on certain typical manipulation technics, suddenly I had the power! They got so bored about me, that I was left in peace.
I didn’t fight back, didn’t argue anything, was so relaxed since ever and then I left after them braking up! 😂😂😂
(Oh my god..) Everything you said here is absolutely 100% true. My father often said, "I 'imagine' ("imagine" being the KEY word coming right before an *alternative universe made-up STORY* blah, blah, blah...he just conveniently pulled out of "somewhere".... When I told my father that I was shocked that he would molest my daughter (his Granddaughter); he turned it all around and said, "Well, how do You think that I FEEL (being accused by my granddaughter....)??" To which I had a very weak response. (He "won" this verbal battle, I felt). Thank you for this episode. It's very hard work to hear it & process it. But/And I'm ready now. My father's dead. These memories still hurt so much. Still I'm glad I can feel them though. I think it's part of my healing.
100% true, all these things happening to me everyday in my marriage life, no option I have ,bcz me a very humble n kind person. Can't fight nor argue. If I ask him why he is doing like this to me ? When I don't say anything to him. He says I deserve it. Why? God forgive him. Becoming 😢mental everyday
The way that they think when they are in their thoughts it was probably the most scariest for me because you never know what they're thinking even when they're looking at you smiling y thinking and conjuring up something EVIL N WICKED
"They are cowerds" Absolutely the truth!