Personally it felt like I was living with a black hole that no matter how much I cared or gave to, it would always be a bottomless pit. That was exhausting & I realised it wasn't my job to make them happy & like you remembered my self-worth & started an inner dialogue telling myself I deserved better. Almost 17 years later & still single with absolutely no desire to get into another relationship. I'd rather be happy alone. Yes I do have trust issues with some very good reasons. But at least I feel safer this way.
That's probably the best description of what life is like with a Narcissist. I always told him I never felt love from him. I would tell my mother my husband didn't love me. She would say oh he adores you. He would project it in public but the total opposite in private. So much evil in him. I believe God was watching and removed him after seeing his abuse over many years and seeing how strong I was and how I endured it. God rewarded me with peace. Thank you God.
After I raised up to 325k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸 also paid for my son's surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom.
I wish I had gained clarity and left him ten years ago. No one wishes they had stayed longer with a narc, given them just ONE MORE CHANCE. We inevitably come to the conclusion that we gave waaaaaay too many chances.
The reptilian stare.......yes I have experienced that. I will always remember the time when he looked at me with an evil smile on his face and said, "you have no idea how evil I can really be". I shivered.........literally, a cold chill ran down my spine and that is when I knew that I was married to someone with an evil entity attached to him. My ten year marriage is over, and my biggest regret is that I gave him so many years of my life, but at least I am now free.
You have gain alot of knowledge of narcissism through your experience and knowledge is power so you can use that knowledge to better your self and love your self to move on. Stay safe 😊
I don't wonder WHO he is; I wonder WHAT he is. We've been "roommates" since we married in 2007. I didn't acknowledge or accept the reality that we were "roommates" until we had been married for nine years, and he committed adultery and gave ME 35 reasons about how I caused it. It takes a special kind of mentally disturbed freak to be that fragile.
If I was given 35 reasons why they cheated on me, I would of said,"I give you one reason you are walking out the door...the reason is,"I have the door open."
I remember cringing when my X narc spouse would pull into the driveway. My thought “ oh god he’s home “ then guilt for having such thoughts. I knew it was over.
After 35 years of lying, cheating, porn, & verbal abuse, I filed for divorce. My 4 adult kids said they wouldn't speak to me anymore if I didn't. He was a Narcissist, & I didn't know that was the name for all his bad behaviors. He destroyed our marriage, he defiled 2 women in my own subdivision & made "movies" with one of them, admitted being bisexuality, and never really loved me. You are spot on with your teaching. I would have never known peace in my life, if I hadn't divorced him. Its been hard at times, lonely, but PEACEFUL. My adult son said that my home doesn't have a negative feeling or energy anymore & now he likes coming over. I told my son at one point, I thought his dad was a Sociopath, & he told me he had known that for a long time.
Cheating via Facebook & dating websites, saying he's joking or it's his cousins, refusing therapy, & watching the marriage "bleed-out"! So I grief the death of marriage, I'm angry bitter etc. Now he's just the annoying roommate, oh yes I would/will leave with the quickness as soon as I can afford it!
I had to stay for almost 10 years but I finally have a house of my own in secret and now I can get out. It is very hard for a woman to leave because of finances, but you Will get out. You make your decisions about finances and safety and You decide that balance better than anyone else. You Can and Will get out too. You are making your financial decisions. I'm sorry about where you are right now, but you are making the Right decisions. Even if it is to go Slowly so that you are not homeless. As usual Danish has completely described a terrible situation beautifully. My mother was a narcissist and as a small child I said she had lizard eyes.
The refusing to go to therapy part..my narc refuses too keeeps on say he deals with alot create an argument and turns around and sleep just like that...people who go through things don't just fall asleep so easily. He literally turns around and sleep. Tomorrow acts like nothing happened.
#1 sign your relationship is over: you finally realized who you waste your time and energy on and that they’re not worth it! After that, you can’t unser it.
I couldn't realize it, it was a long distance "relationshit" and I wasn't allowed to visit him in his federal state ("my - adult and married- children wouldn't accept it")...
the beginning of the end of your "situationship" with the idiot narcissist begins, the nanosecond after you stand up for yourself. for example, that could be saying NO to a narc's demand/entitlement, or speaking up about your needs - which could be something as basic as being treated fairly. the idiot narcissist would never tolerate what they expect you to accept. cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
Exactly!! Once you start mirroring their behavior back at them and no longer reacting, chasing them when they threaten a break up and their silent treatments.
@@Missybella92227 once i discovered their methods, i enjoyed the break ups and silent treatments. it showed the immaturity on their part, and was a tremendous blessing for my mental health to not have to deal with them lol. -cheers, steven
Hey!!! I’m living Stoney Creek/Hamilton mountain 😊. Nice to meet a fellow Canadian yet alone Ontarian. Totally right about the speaking up for yourself part and even worse is when you call them out for being a narcissist 😅! Take it easy!
@@brankaurosevic9003 that's awesome! i live in the hamilton area. geezus speaking of stoney creek, it and the mountain area (hwy 20/rymal area and northbound) has exploded since the 1980's lol. it's come a long way from farmer's fields. 👏🏼 having boundaries is so important with people in general, especially toxic people. with a narcissist, too often we (in good faith) overlook their words, and forget to check their behavior. words can lie, but their behavior will always tell the truth. enjoy your narc-free easter weekend! -cheers, steven
Sign #1 really resonates with me. A few months before i left my narcissistic ex husband, i kept my shoes on even after i entered the house, just in case i needed to leave. He became a real homebody towards the end of our relationship. I wasn't sure what was waiting for me behind the door. When a dear friend called this out as a red flag, i realized this was not a way i wanted to live. The writing was on the wall. Your home should be a refuge, not a battlefield.
I called it quits 7 years ago. Stayed for our daughter. Been co-existing in a loveless, resentment filled, no trust partner arrangement since. Any feelings of love, romance etc died in 2016. Every one of the points you spoke about I experience daily, verbatim
Please find hobbies that you and your daughter can enjoy; I learned to make origami cranes, frogs, etc. using post it notes ( start with larger paper, then practice down to tiny pieces of paper) from watching UA-cam videos and donate them. Seniors love getting them. Painting is also relaxing, though I use the paint by number. Learning to play an instrument, a ukulele for example is also fun. Pursue something that brings you joy in such a stressful situation. God help you and your daughter in this current situation ( it won’t last forever) and bless your creative pursuit!
For eleven years with Narc husband I ran away from my matrimonial home several times. Just needed freedom at all costs. The day I left till now I became healed of insomnia.
Each of the signs you mentioned, I have felt and experienced them, literally lived in the midst of those experiences for most of my married life... Also, I lived most days of this life planning my exit and to my surprise my exit didn't come from all those plans. I just woke up, packed my clothes and left...that was three years ago... this was the best decision that I have ever taken in my life!I must also add, I started to work on myself , ie my self awareness, mindset, healing while I was in this toxic environment. When I became silent it was not in vain, in my mind it was to take back my power, slowly but surely...my healing process began in my house way before I escaped that environment and now I'm at a place where joy, peace, calmness, forgiveness, humility define who I have become. Today I have found God's purpose for my life, to share my story with others and in that way get to counsel those who are going through the same experiences. Sometimes God allows you to go through a difficult process so you can identify His plan or assignment for your life... Thank you Danish for your teachings, you are changing many lives for the better! Keep keeping on!!
Watching these videos about narc really helped me alot. Now i realized i shouldnt stay more and must know my worth. Ive been with a 5yr relationship with a narc bf, he was so evil..he never treated me right and fair unless he wants to make love to me..he acting sweet and compliment me. I had no idea before about narc..i just saw one of your video and had an urged to watch it..and omg it exactly describes him. He come and go whenever he wants to. He has no respect and he is always right and always accusing me of cheating on him and always put all the blame on me even i dont do anything wrong. How stupid i was for still loving him despite of hurting me emotinally and mentally everyday. I now finally woke up and trying my best to overcome all the pains, struggles, sacrifices, suffering,,, etc. I regret everything especially the day that i have met him.
I feel for you & I hope you find a solution, because you don't need him. Unfortunately many women put themselves in that situation when they depend on a man. I have a daughter & always have encouraged her to independent so no man owns her.
I never felt safe ,nor I'm feeling safe every day I'm living with pain and fear,I feel so happy whenever he leaves the house and when he enters the house I feel so panic and unhappy
1. ✔️ 2. ✔️ 3. ✔️ 4. ✔️ 5. ✔️ This post hit a GRANDSLAM exactly on my situation. I knew I was tolerating crap years ago. I'm disappointed and ashamed that I took the mental abuse for as long as I did.
What are 5 signs its over with the Narcissist without wAtching video.... 1. They disrespect you 2. They constantly lie & deny 3. All they do is criticize you 4. They are only nice to you infront of others 5. You cant carry a conversation without an argument
Exactly. Everything is an argument. I.e: butter or not on popcorn? Narcissist says " great, so we just missed the first 10 seconds of movie for something you already know. Nice Date night!. Screw this bullshit, I'm going to other room to watch TV without your bitching. Again.
Danish, every word you said was exactly 💯 % how my mind and body reacted to 13 years of abuse. (in reality, a lifetime started with my parents)I was utterly exhausted emotionally and physically drained. When I would speak I felt like I had to push out the words. It was easier to stay silent. When I was awake I couldn't wait to go to sleep for the night. And then I would dread the morning to start another day of the same unloving, uncaring, lonely, criticized existence. Living a life full of lies. Something snapped inside of me. I felt like if I had stayed a day longer I might have to be put in hospital. I couldn't do that to my son. I left. So glad I did. I'm cracked and, faded worn down, and tired. But not broken.
All you say it’s true!! It comes to a point you are so tired up to the point of exhaustion that you don’t have the energy to go into those usual fruitless debates! They suck your energy, your joy, life becomes a burden so heavy you just want to sleep and forget! The problem is that you wake up and the “ problem “ is still there !! The solution is to leave far far away to a new life to a new self!! To your own self!! Thank you for your insight, inspiration and sound advice!!
Excellent!!!! They're practically saving you the trouble by discarding themselves out of your life. Once they leave block all calls , text and social media and if you can relocate somewhere else if possible!
This is my adult son. He won't leave. He is 36 years old, my youngest son I love dearly but this is how he has become. He can never hold down a relationship or employment more than 3 months and then he comes back home. This time after months of him not paying his way and putting me in a financial mess again, I need him out. My only way now is the police which I hoped I could avoid but that's not an option now. Thank you Danish for a great video and other information. It gives me the strength I need right now. You described me to a T...❤
Wow, Danish! Thank you for saying that it's OK if I feel like I want them dead, gone! This is the only thing that comes in my mind when I think about him. He wanted to kill me himself, so it's normal if I feel this way! Thank you so much! ❤ Please, read my book; you will absolutely love it!
Been 2months out of 7 months of a"NothingShip!".Best thing I ever did was to give him his "walking papers".He is "sucking the life of someone just like himself!"🙏🙏🙏🙏
You’re right I experience these 5 signs for like 10 years, my narcissistic partner discard me last September 2023 after 14 years of suffering from him. Until now I am struggling to heal from the abuse physically, verbally, and emotionally. It’s a relief that I am on my own now. It was a traumatic experienced.
I avoided the narc but could not get him out of the beautiful home i bought for us. We were roomates, nothing more, for 3 years. He was fine with that , he got supply outside. I had to sell the home. Moved 2000 miles away.
Thank you. Me and my son are almost out. •••When you clearly understand you can’t afford to be in the same room, because you’ll be sucked back into another cycle!
I can't believe that I tried making my marriage work for so long now that I'm at the point that I wish I never even met him. I have heard it's not easy to divorce a narcissist.
This vid is spot on. It's been 10 months since I ended it with a narc. Thx God and to my therapist I opened my eyes and the signs kept getting clearer by the min. 18 yrs of my life gone, only good thing I got from this "relationship" were my kids. God bless them, they're my everything.❤
Danish.each& every single word is absolutely true as I tolrated last 42years.Now finally I left him without planning..But now he is trying to connect with me..but I promised
@@SaraH-od3et Now that shameless person is sending threatening me through other persons who are his enablers.. Dirty demon he is taking this as his defeat..but truth is this I am feeling safe without him..
I am all those signs you mentioned. ALL of them. I am so DONE. But I have no ways and means to go. Oh how I wish a knight in shining armour would swoop me up and take me away off into the clouds and never take me home again.
You have to be your own knight in shining armour. I know what you're going through but start small. Even if it's just getting a small storage unit and squirreling things you'll need away unnoticed by the narc. Start saving some cash even if it's not alot. Every little step you take will encourage the next step. Don't give up no matter what.
@@dswilliams2686 Thank you so much. Good ideas. But my income is so limited as I am retired. I spent all the years I was raising my children home with them. I homeschooled and did not go out into the workforce until they were raised. So, SS is not much to live on. Thank you for responding. ❤️
I'm in the exact same situation. Spent 3 decades investing in home/family only to find that ss doesn't even pay enough to pay rent. But depending on the state you're in you own half of everything... the problem is the gap between the current moment and the time it takes to divide assets. Stay strong. Don't give up. @@laurelvance5533
I lost almost all of my affect. I was dissociated most of the time they were around. I, as who I had been, was almost totally nonexistent. It was Hell on Earth.
Once you accept what your partner is, that's the beginning of the end of the relationship. Never say you're planning on leaving, get all your ducks in a row, start sorting all paperwork, take copies, pack an escape bag and leave it somewhereor with someone you trust implicitly. Women's Aid uk, have an escape plan on their online forum which women from all over the world use. It's also a very visual and validating place to be a part of. All our stories are similar, so much that many asks if we dated or married the same person. @@theinnerbreakroom2216
This video comes at a time when FINALLY the possibility of the opportunity to leave has come. After more than half a century with this jerk, I have the opportunity to leave. It's so very scary to think of and will I regret it? I would definitely not want to come back. I've had it, but the prospect is just as daunting. And one of the things you said.. wanting them dead... I've wished that many times. Not dead necessarily but for him to disappear and go torment and bully someone else and never come back. I know that a couple of my children would support me, a couple might question my decision, but totally respect it. I have wonderful, fabulous children. I mentioned this to the narc once, saying I'd live this half century of shit over again if it meant I'd have the same children and he said calm as can be.. not me. I could have kids with anyone. That was an eye-opener!! That being said... he was a good dad, I have to give him that credit. Perhaps he only said what he did to hurt me, not them. Thanks, Danish for your videos.
37 years here. Yes the prospect is daunting but that's just fear. Why would you be afraid to be free again? To breathe without being criticized and put down? To not have to tiptoe through every day wringing your hands that you'll trigger the demon? To think, do, and say whatever you want without fear? To finally have some peace.....
No 4….. Cannot be bothered at all , My lips physically don’t move around him they’ve given up , just looking for the exit . The unknown doesn’t scare me at all ….
Telling someone to just leave is a convenient answer and not a practical solution for everyone so please don't throw it around like you can just leave it's not that easy. ❤
His eyes were deadly and black, as if something had taken over him other than his abnormal evil self. I felt a bad presence in the atmosphere when that happened. I went like😮!
I appreciate your heartfelt words bruddah (brother). It came just in time as the toxic parent I call the critic is love bomb campaigning to “get me back” as I’m in a personally vulnerable moment. Thank you so much ❤
The signs you gave, Sir, are all helpful and true! The problem is that I find it so hard to break-up with the Narc husband! I feel like I can't live and that I may be mistaken to effect such a decision! The pain might never go away!
Amazing video and wisdom from Danish.so accurate in his description...i have been experiencing every one of these symptoms since several years..now getting up the courage to leave the relationship.. Hope God will favour me.. fingers crossed..
I don't think shutting down or silence means you've zombie'd out as much as it is you've grown beyond their games and started taking care of you and will not give their BS oxygen anymore.
I am one of the one in ten who got away! The cops lied in their reports,. In my county there were zero convictions out of 2,500+ arrests . He violated the restraining order. Was convicted of that but the judge dismissed the case. Used the cop lies to say, " I don't know if he was coming from the front or the back." I got wind in court by a "court watcher" that the judge is a disgusting criminal. No changing of the guard in law enforcement for twenty years. In 2004, the sheriff resigned for violating the First Amendment. Before he exited the elected and disgraced leader appointed a new leader. That dude is still there and runs as if he were elected, as an incumbent. The constitutional violations were against a rival candidate. Do not think you are out of the woods if you have them arrested for disabling or harming you! That opens up a barrage of abuse and accusations along with endangerment and destruction of your credibility, career and life. If you have children, worse yet, 85% of the time, custody is awarded to the dark triad socio-psycho-Machiavellian, monster. They just love and reward those poor guys who are ALL "being lied about and abused by a vindictive ____ _____". No joke. Father law is family law. It's not a family without a mom AND a dad! My dad, my brothers, my friends were all great role models. TAKE DANISH SERIOUSLY. Leaving is THE MOST DANGEROUS TIME. Have a plan. Review it, Memorize it, Have a safe place to go. Plan on going no contact. Get 1000 miles away at least. The law may, probably will, bring you back and make you pay. The abuser is innocent in the eyes if the law so they all point fingers at the "evil mother" k²Freedom is worth it! I asked the court for permission. Judge put a restraining order on the child. Medical records saved me and my child...at least until the child turned 14. When the batterer finished spending the kids college money he kicked her out before legally 18. Almost missed finals for high school. The only word to describe the whole lot of divorce and family law grim reapers, abusers and greedy psychos pretending they are helping survivors but they are simply. collecting fire hose spigot 8f money and preserving their right to do so. Mediate if you can. Lawyers won't help. They'll just take your money and make the abuse worse. There is one brave attorney, Rebecca Zung, You Tube who can help. I could have used her help then. Most everything I have heard she and Danish say is correct, spot on. These dark personalities seem lovable and can act appropriately. That is what makes these situations so horrendous! Justice, your children's safety, your life, safety.... These are not considered. Money, even if your child has to suffer under their rulings. You will definitely suffer but you will be stronger and happier if you hold up under pressure. You can and must! Pray, meditate and read to your children. That tells them you love them, distracts from your angst and is a nice way to interact. Do not put them down. Elevate yourself. "Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." Mark Twain Their level is hell. They like it. You will have to climb out and never show negative emotion. No prolonged crying. In civil court, the judges get mad if you mention abuse!¿! Yes indeedy duty!
this is me always so tired and want to cry.. I have been leaving off and on for awhile and now I just can't stand him and I am in my own home now and sleeping better, eating better, somewhat relaxed and come and go as I please, yes this me I am so tired... Yes I am and want completely OUT now. I sure have lost so many years and his cheating and heart ache but he will stand before Lord Jesus Christ he evil have no way of getting away..
I was living with One narrictes man that damned me and my child for the last 15 years and he decided to abuse are child mentaly and physically and it didn't stop there.
Ive been married 45 years and my husband has never been to the city I grew in. I didn't see my Mom ir siblings for 8 YEARS because didn't want to go without him. When I saw he was never going, I bought a plane ticket and went to see my family. He was furious. He had lost that control. Now I understand. No love, no affection, no marriage. I have only been a captive source of supply.
My only wish; that I asked to see his phone 10 years ago. I tolerated so much ignorance, hate, abuse, and despicable garbage he would never forgive. Why did I? Because I hoped he would change. It never happened until one day, 10 years into the joke of a circus, I asked to see his phone.... FOR 3 MONTHS STRAIGHT. NOPE. He couldn't provide that, but played the "super nice guy role" something I've never witnessed during arguments. My closure, handed to me on a golden platter. He told me what he was about, without actually telling me. Thank you John, I appreciate that. Prayers from Beamsville/Smithville Ontario. You should be listed as a s ÷X predator.
I was sold into human trafficking by my biological mother, such a narcissist. It's dread like none I've ever known... The thought of her being anywhere near me.
On target! That's exactly how i felt. He left a car in my brothers house driveway for a year. like a storage garage. Couldn't stand seeing him sleeping when i get home from working 8 hours. Lazy. Very lazy
1. You’ve said no more often than they can accept. 2. You’ve set boundaries for yourself 3. You’ve become aware of their manipulation tactics 4. You’ve shared your situation with literally anyone else and let them know about it 5. You’ve separated your finances completely
I noticed that when I'm going out with friends, I feel way better than at home. Yesterday I wanted to stay alone at home. So I tried to make my husband get out but it didn't worked. It was so frustrating. I no longer want to sleep next to him.
Never be afraid to reach out to the police for domestic abuse no matter what theats a narrassis will say... They are there to help and will start a process that will give your life back.
My problem is the narc spouse won’t leave my house. I have started divorce and already spent a lot of money but he’s doing all kinds of legal abuse and meantime he can continue staying at my place. I cannot wait to kick him out and never have to see him ever again
The saddest thing to me is that since I've gotten a job (planning to leave) my children enjoy when I'm not home. Good ol dad gives them everything they want. Love bombs them and turns them against me. I know they don't know any better but it still hurts. They will see the monster one day. Maybe they will realize I wasn't the one ruining the days. ..... I've told him I'm done I don't want to do this anymore. He just acts like nothing is wrong. I cannot stand this anymore. Yes his eyes went black. Nothing will calm him down and he is out for blood. He will say you better get away from him (because he wants to physically harm you) I have peed my pants several times because I'm terrified.
Master Coparenting with a Narcissist:
emotionalabuserecovery.com/specialoffer
My sign that my relationship was over with a narcissist: I suddenly remembered my self-worth and raised my standards!
same to me..and it was like i was in sleeping mode then booom i woken up and realised my self worth was played a lot.
Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk@@Aysha783
Personally it felt like I was living with a black hole that no matter how much I cared or gave to, it would always be a bottomless pit. That was exhausting & I realised it wasn't my job to make them happy & like you remembered my self-worth & started an inner dialogue telling myself I deserved better. Almost 17 years later & still single with absolutely no desire to get into another relationship. I'd rather be happy alone. Yes I do have trust issues with some very good reasons. But at least I feel safer this way.
I started wearing nice clothes and started respecting myself
The devalue stage, you just exist in a house like strangers.
Exactly this
I was constantly called a stranger before I left my ex. Video is on point
They feel like strangers in the mind too
Best 😂comment I have seen
The house may not be physical but you feel the pain even miles apart.
It was never a relationship or love or anything. You were in a relationship with yourself.
👏👏👏
Yes, my therapist said that to me. It hurts
No it's not a releationship with yourself..but with a man full of DEMONS..
That's probably the best description of what life is like with a Narcissist. I always told him I never felt love from him. I would tell my mother my husband didn't love me. She would say oh he adores you. He would project it in public but the total opposite in private. So much evil in him. I believe God was watching and removed him after seeing his abuse over many years and seeing how strong I was and how I endured it. God rewarded me with peace. Thank you God.
After so much struggles I now own a new house and my family is happy once again everything is finally falling into place!!
I'm 37 and have been looking for ways to be successful, please how??
Thanks to my co-worker (Alex) who suggested Ms Claudia Vecchi Nese .
She's a licensed broker in the states 🇺🇸
After I raised up to 325k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸 also paid for my son's surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom.
Can't imagine earning $85,000 biweekly, God bless Ms Claudia Vecchi Nese , God bless America 🇺🇸♥️
I wish I had gained clarity and left him ten years ago. No one wishes they had stayed longer with a narc, given them just ONE MORE CHANCE. We inevitably come to the conclusion that we gave waaaaaay too many chances.
The reptilian stare.......yes I have experienced that. I will always remember the time when he looked at me with an evil smile on his face and said, "you have no idea how evil I can really be". I shivered.........literally, a cold chill ran down my spine and that is when I knew that I was married to someone with an evil entity attached to him. My ten year marriage is over, and my biggest regret is that I gave him so many years of my life, but at least I am now free.
You have gain alot of knowledge of narcissism through your experience and knowledge is power so you can use that knowledge to better your self and love your self to move on. Stay safe 😊
I also received the same revelation of evil /from my husband. they all use the same words, in different languages
Double for your trouble 🙌🙂
@@lolazg😱
Exact words he said," you have no idea how evil I can be ". I am away now with my mother but don't know how I'll go again to him ...
I am experiencing all of these. Planning a safe way out. 😢
I don't wonder WHO he is; I wonder WHAT he is. We've been "roommates" since we married in 2007. I didn't acknowledge or accept the reality that we were "roommates" until we had been married for nine years, and he committed adultery and gave ME 35 reasons about how I caused it. It takes a special kind of mentally disturbed freak to be that fragile.
35!! Geez.. He must have worked it so much inside his head!! Narcs accuse you of everything. Hope you manage to escape and live a better life!!
Same here! 20 years of being roommates. Just found out he was cheating and lost $5000.00 in his infidelity. Great feeling!!!
45 yrs.still there.
If I was given 35 reasons why they cheated on me, I would of said,"I give you one reason you are walking out the door...the reason is,"I have the door open."
@@francalatona591 The problem is that I believed him for the longest. EVERYTHING he said was a LIE.
I remember cringing when my X narc spouse would pull into the driveway. My thought “ oh god he’s home “ then guilt for having such thoughts. I knew it was over.
After 35 years of lying, cheating, porn, & verbal abuse, I filed for divorce. My 4 adult kids said they wouldn't speak to me anymore if I didn't. He was a Narcissist, & I didn't know that was the name for all his bad behaviors. He destroyed our marriage, he defiled 2 women in my own subdivision & made "movies" with one of them, admitted being bisexuality, and never really loved me.
You are spot on with your teaching. I would have never known peace in my life, if I hadn't divorced him. Its been hard at times, lonely, but PEACEFUL. My adult son said that my home doesn't have a negative feeling or energy anymore & now he likes coming over. I told my son at one point, I thought his dad was a Sociopath, & he told me he had known that for a long time.
Cheating via Facebook & dating websites, saying he's joking or it's his cousins, refusing therapy, & watching the marriage "bleed-out"! So I grief the death of marriage, I'm angry bitter etc. Now he's just the annoying roommate, oh yes I would/will leave with the quickness as soon as I can afford it!
I had to stay for almost 10 years but I finally have a house of my own in secret and now I can get out. It is very hard for a woman to leave because of finances, but you Will get out. You make your decisions about finances and safety and You decide that balance better than anyone else.
You Can and Will get out too.
You are making your financial decisions. I'm sorry about where you are right now, but you are making the Right decisions. Even if it is to go Slowly so that you are not homeless.
As usual Danish has completely described a terrible situation beautifully. My mother was a narcissist and as a small child I said she had lizard eyes.
The refusing to go to therapy part..my narc refuses too keeeps on say he deals with alot create an argument and turns around and sleep just like that...people who go through things don't just fall asleep so easily. He literally turns around and sleep. Tomorrow acts like nothing happened.
@@theyellowshoe I was told he signed up on POF looking for me 😂😂👏👏
#1 sign your relationship is over: you finally realized who you waste your time and energy on and that they’re not worth it! After that, you can’t unser it.
I couldn't realize it, it was a long distance "relationshit" and I wasn't allowed to visit him in his federal state ("my - adult and married- children wouldn't accept it")...
the beginning of the end of your "situationship" with the idiot narcissist begins, the nanosecond after you stand up for yourself.
for example, that could be saying NO to a narc's demand/entitlement, or speaking up about your needs - which could be something as basic as being treated fairly.
the idiot narcissist would never tolerate what they expect you to accept.
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
Exactly!!
Once you start mirroring their behavior back at them and no longer reacting, chasing them when they threaten a break up and their silent treatments.
@@Missybella92227 once i discovered their methods, i enjoyed the break ups and silent treatments.
it showed the immaturity on their part, and was a tremendous blessing for my mental health to not have to deal with them lol.
-cheers, steven
Hey!!! I’m living Stoney Creek/Hamilton mountain 😊. Nice to meet a fellow Canadian yet alone Ontarian.
Totally right about the speaking up for yourself part and even worse is when you call them out for being a narcissist 😅! Take it easy!
@@brankaurosevic9003 that's awesome! i live in the hamilton area. geezus speaking of stoney creek, it and the mountain area (hwy 20/rymal area and northbound) has exploded since the 1980's lol. it's come a long way from farmer's fields. 👏🏼
having boundaries is so important with people in general, especially toxic people.
with a narcissist, too often we (in good faith) overlook their words, and forget to check their behavior. words can lie, but their behavior will always tell the truth.
enjoy your narc-free easter weekend!
-cheers, steven
Yep
Sign #1 really resonates with me. A few months before i left my narcissistic ex husband, i kept my shoes on even after i entered the house, just in case i needed to leave. He became a real homebody towards the end of our relationship. I wasn't sure what was waiting for me behind the door. When a dear friend called this out as a red flag, i realized this was not a way i wanted to live. The writing was on the wall.
Your home should be a refuge, not a battlefield.
I called it quits 7 years ago. Stayed for our daughter. Been co-existing in a loveless, resentment filled, no trust partner arrangement since. Any feelings of love, romance etc died in 2016. Every one of the points you spoke about I experience daily, verbatim
Please find hobbies that you and your daughter can enjoy; I learned to make origami cranes, frogs, etc. using post it notes ( start with larger paper, then practice down to tiny pieces of paper) from watching UA-cam videos and donate them. Seniors love getting them. Painting is also relaxing, though I use the paint by number. Learning to play an instrument, a ukulele for example is also fun. Pursue something that brings you joy in such a stressful situation. God help you and your daughter in this current situation ( it won’t last forever) and bless your creative pursuit!
You are not alone …🙏🏼
For eleven years with Narc husband I ran away from my matrimonial home several times. Just needed freedom at all costs. The day I left till now I became healed of insomnia.
The same for me... I fall asleep without pills. Before I had to take them even during the night and yet hardly slept 4-5 hours - many times even less.
Each of the signs you mentioned, I have felt and experienced them, literally lived in the midst of those experiences for most of my married life...
Also, I lived most days of this life planning my exit and to my surprise my exit didn't come from all those plans. I just woke up, packed my clothes and left...that was three years ago... this was the best decision that I have ever taken in my life!I must also add, I started to work on myself , ie my self awareness, mindset, healing while I was in this toxic environment. When I became silent it was not in vain, in my mind it was to take back my power, slowly but surely...my healing process began in my house way before I escaped that environment and now I'm at a place where joy, peace, calmness, forgiveness, humility define who I have become. Today I have found God's purpose for my life, to share my story with others and in that way get to counsel those who are going through the same experiences. Sometimes God allows you to go through a difficult process so you can identify His plan or assignment for your life...
Thank you Danish for your teachings, you are changing many lives for the better! Keep keeping on!!
👏👏👏
Watching these videos about narc really helped me alot. Now i realized i shouldnt stay more and must know my worth. Ive been with a 5yr relationship with a narc bf, he was so evil..he never treated me right and fair unless he wants to make love to me..he acting sweet and compliment me. I had no idea before about narc..i just saw one of your video and had an urged to watch it..and omg it exactly describes him. He come and go whenever he wants to. He has no respect and he is always right and always accusing me of cheating on him and always put all the blame on me even i dont do anything wrong. How stupid i was for still loving him despite of hurting me emotinally and mentally everyday. I now finally woke up and trying my best to overcome all the pains, struggles, sacrifices, suffering,,, etc. I regret everything especially the day that i have met him.
The same for me. And his reaction, if you dare not to serve him in the bed. Dr. Jekyll turns into Mr. Hyde.
yes you are true they really wasted your time
I totally agree with what you said. We must not enable evil and by walking away we break the vicious cycle of abuse.
This is one of your BEST videos. So much truth packed into just 11 minutes. This is exactly how I'm feeling as I plan my exit strategy .
Planning my exit strategy too..fingers crossed..God help me 🙏
When you dont feel safe or secure
Emotionally, mentally, financially, Spiritually, physically, or intimately.
I feel for you & I hope you find a solution, because you don't need him. Unfortunately many women put themselves in that situation when they depend on a man. I have a daughter & always have encouraged her to independent so no man owns her.
I never felt safe ,nor I'm feeling safe every day I'm living with pain and fear,I feel so happy whenever he leaves the house and when he enters the house I feel so panic and unhappy
1. ✔️
2. ✔️
3. ✔️
4. ✔️
5. ✔️
This post hit a GRANDSLAM exactly on my situation. I knew I was tolerating crap years ago. I'm disappointed and ashamed that I took the mental abuse for as long as I did.
What are 5 signs its over with the Narcissist without wAtching video....
1. They disrespect you
2. They constantly lie & deny
3. All they do is criticize you
4. They are only nice to you infront of others
5. You cant carry a conversation without an argument
Exactly. Everything is an argument. I.e: butter or not on popcorn? Narcissist says " great, so we just missed the first 10 seconds of movie for something you already know. Nice Date night!. Screw this bullshit, I'm going to other room to watch TV without your bitching. Again.
True
you never lived until you lived with my EX&& he brainwashed FOIR ADULT Childrens that HE was the Good Guy. I lost ALL.
Danish, every word you said was exactly 💯 % how my mind and body reacted to 13 years of abuse. (in reality, a lifetime started with my parents)I was utterly exhausted emotionally and physically drained. When I would speak I felt like I had to push out the words. It was easier to stay silent. When I was awake I couldn't wait to go to sleep for the night. And then I would dread the morning to start another day of the same unloving, uncaring, lonely, criticized existence. Living a life full of lies. Something snapped inside of me. I felt like if I had stayed a day longer I might have to be put in hospital. I couldn't do that to my son. I left. So glad I did.
I'm cracked and, faded worn down, and tired. But not broken.
👏👏👏
Good luck to you, and remember, you and your son are now FREE.
Stay strong ...All the best for new life 👍
All you say it’s true!!
It comes to a point you are so tired up to the point of exhaustion that you don’t have the energy to go into those usual fruitless debates!
They suck your energy, your joy, life becomes a burden so heavy you just want to sleep and forget! The problem is that you wake up and the “ problem “ is still there !!
The solution is to leave far far away to a new life to a new self!! To your own self!!
Thank you for your insight, inspiration and sound advice!!
I stand at this stage now, and desperately trying to escape
Stay safe. I'm praying for you to gain clarity and peace.
Excellent!!!! They're practically saving you the trouble by discarding themselves out of your life. Once they leave block all calls , text and social media and if you can relocate somewhere else if possible!
Absolutely 💯..and I'm going through all of what you've said ! But feels like ,I just don't have the courage to exit😢
This is my adult son. He won't leave. He is 36 years old, my youngest son I love dearly but this is how he has become. He can never hold down a relationship or employment more than 3 months and then he comes back home. This time after months of him not paying his way and putting me in a financial mess again, I need him out. My only way now is the police which I hoped I could avoid but that's not an option now. Thank you Danish for a great video and other information. It gives me the strength I need right now. You described me to a T...❤
The eyes are the scariest part. Like a sharks when they roll back in feeding mode. You look into them and know that you are prey.
I have seen those eyes! Very evil eyes 😮😮😮
You have helped me comprehend, navigate and validate the confusion and sadness for the last few years. Thank you indefinitely. So much love.
Wow, Danish! Thank you for saying that it's OK if I feel like I want them dead, gone! This is the only thing that comes in my mind when I think about him. He wanted to kill me himself, so it's normal if I feel this way! Thank you so much! ❤
Please, read my book; you will absolutely love it!
Been 2months out of 7 months of a"NothingShip!".Best thing I ever did was to give him his "walking papers".He is "sucking the life of someone just like himself!"🙏🙏🙏🙏
You’re right I experience these 5 signs for like 10 years, my narcissistic partner discard me last September 2023 after 14 years of suffering from him. Until now I am struggling to heal from the abuse physically, verbally, and emotionally. It’s a relief that I am on my own now. It was a traumatic experienced.
I avoided the narc but could not get him out of the beautiful home i bought for us. We were roomates, nothing more, for 3 years. He was fine with that , he got supply outside. I had to sell the home. Moved 2000 miles away.
Thank you. Me and my son are almost out.
•••When you clearly understand you can’t afford to be in the same room, because you’ll be sucked back into another cycle!
I can't believe that I tried making my marriage work for so long now that I'm at the point that I wish I never even met him. I have heard it's not easy to divorce a narcissist.
This vid is spot on. It's been 10 months since I ended it with a narc. Thx God and to my therapist I opened my eyes and the signs kept getting clearer by the min. 18 yrs of my life gone, only good thing I got from this "relationship" were my kids. God bless them, they're my everything.❤
5/5...19 bitter and lonely years of marriage... Total Hell, a life sentence... 😢😢😢Psychotherapy made wonders, thank God!!! 🙏🙏🙏
I am in the same state please pray for me. 😢
Danish.each& every single word is absolutely true as I tolrated last 42years.Now finally I left him without planning..But now he is trying to connect with me..but I promised
No contact zero! It helps get your emotional thinking down. Prepare yourself for the day you see him as pathetic. You won’t ever go back
@@SaraH-od3et Now that shameless person is sending threatening me through other persons who are his enablers.. Dirty demon he is taking this as his defeat..but truth is this I am feeling safe without him..
Omg! Yes! I love your descriptions because you are spot on! Being next to them you no longer feel like your safe, at home.
The freedom and release of anxiety when you leave them is your reward 🩷🩵🌹
I am all those signs you mentioned. ALL of them. I am so DONE. But I have no ways and means to go. Oh how I wish a knight in shining armour would swoop me up and take me away off into the clouds and never take me home again.
You have to be your own knight in shining armour. I know what you're going through but start small. Even if it's just getting a small storage unit and squirreling things you'll need away unnoticed by the narc. Start saving some cash even if it's not alot. Every little step you take will encourage the next step. Don't give up no matter what.
@@dswilliams2686 Thank you so much. Good ideas. But my income is so limited as I am retired. I spent all the years I was raising my children home with them. I homeschooled and did not go out into the workforce until they were raised. So, SS is not much to live on. Thank you for responding. ❤️
I'm in the exact same situation. Spent 3 decades investing in home/family only to find that ss doesn't even pay enough to pay rent. But depending on the state you're in you own half of everything... the problem is the gap between the current moment and the time it takes to divide assets. Stay strong. Don't give up. @@laurelvance5533
I lost almost all of my affect. I was dissociated most of the time they were around. I, as who I had been, was almost totally nonexistent. It was Hell on Earth.
I feel this and live this daily. Just opening my eyes.
Once you accept what your partner is, that's the beginning of the end of the relationship. Never say you're planning on leaving, get all your ducks in a row, start sorting all paperwork, take copies, pack an escape bag and leave it somewhereor with someone you trust implicitly. Women's Aid uk, have an escape plan on their online forum which women from all over the world use. It's also a very visual and validating place to be a part of. All our stories are similar, so much that many asks if we dated or married the same person. @@theinnerbreakroom2216
You never existed so there was never a relationship. Just a game
This video comes at a time when FINALLY the possibility of the opportunity to leave has come. After more than half a century with this jerk, I have the opportunity to leave. It's so very scary to think of and will I regret it? I would definitely not want to come back. I've had it, but the prospect is just as daunting. And one of the things you said.. wanting them dead... I've wished that many times. Not dead necessarily but for him to disappear and go torment and bully someone else and never come back. I know that a couple of my children would support me, a couple might question my decision, but totally respect it. I have wonderful, fabulous children. I mentioned this to the narc once, saying I'd live this half century of shit over again if it meant I'd have the same children and he said calm as can be.. not me. I could have kids with anyone. That was an eye-opener!! That being said... he was a good dad, I have to give him that credit. Perhaps he only said what he did to hurt me, not them. Thanks, Danish for your videos.
37 years here. Yes the prospect is daunting but that's just fear. Why would you be afraid to be free again? To breathe without being criticized and put down? To not have to tiptoe through every day wringing your hands that you'll trigger the demon? To think, do, and say whatever you want without fear? To finally have some peace.....
No 4…..
Cannot be bothered at all , My lips physically don’t move around him they’ve given up , just looking for the exit . The unknown doesn’t scare me at all ….
So much pain from head to toe 😢
Those snake eyes?Yes I have experienced that!
That stop and stare gave me chills and when I confronted him he’d come up with an excuse.
Telling someone to just leave is a convenient answer and not a practical solution for everyone so please don't throw it around like you can just leave it's not that easy. ❤
No it's not.
Each step is resonating with me. Still hope creeps in to wait for some more time.. 😢
His eyes were deadly and black, as if something had taken over him other than his abnormal evil self. I felt a bad presence in the atmosphere when that happened. I went like😮!
Yah, a evil presence… you can stand been in the same room …. AT ALL!
I hate experiencing that! They seem empty but also full of evil. It permeates the room
Everyword you said is true and I need this kind of freedom n I'm going to achieve it
I appreciate your heartfelt words bruddah (brother). It came just in time as the toxic parent I call the critic is love bomb campaigning to “get me back” as I’m in a personally vulnerable moment. Thank you so much ❤
100 % feeling the same situation I appreciate your efforts ❤bless you alot ❤
Thats exactly what i feel.
I am so sorry for what you have been through. You look and sound like a wonderful person and a really good Dad.
The signs you gave, Sir, are all helpful and true! The problem is that I find it so hard to break-up with the Narc husband! I feel like I can't live and that I may be mistaken to effect such a decision! The pain might never go away!
Amazing video and wisdom from Danish.so accurate in his description...i have been experiencing every one of these symptoms since several years..now getting up the courage to leave the relationship.. Hope God will favour me.. fingers crossed..
me too all the best to you and all of us
I don't think shutting down or silence means you've zombie'd out as much as it is you've grown beyond their games and started taking care of you and will not give their BS oxygen anymore.
If life would have a delete button we could have deleted somany negative people and negative experiences ....
DANISH🤝🏆
EVERY WORD💯🎯
I am one of the one in ten who got away! The cops lied in their reports,. In my county there were zero convictions out of 2,500+ arrests . He violated the restraining order. Was convicted of that but the judge dismissed the case. Used the cop lies to say, " I don't know if he was coming from the front or the back."
I got wind in court by a "court watcher" that the judge is a disgusting criminal. No changing of the guard in law enforcement for twenty years.
In 2004, the sheriff resigned for violating the First Amendment. Before he exited the elected and disgraced leader appointed a new leader. That dude is still there and runs as if he were elected, as an incumbent. The constitutional violations were against a rival candidate.
Do not think you are out of the woods if you have them arrested for disabling or harming you! That opens up a barrage of abuse and accusations along with endangerment and destruction of your credibility, career and life. If you have children, worse yet, 85% of the time, custody is awarded to the dark triad socio-psycho-Machiavellian, monster. They just love and reward those poor guys who are ALL "being lied about and abused by a vindictive ____ _____". No joke. Father law is family law. It's not a family without a mom AND a dad! My dad, my brothers, my friends were all great role models.
TAKE DANISH SERIOUSLY. Leaving is THE MOST DANGEROUS TIME. Have a plan. Review it, Memorize it, Have a safe place to go. Plan on going no contact. Get 1000 miles away at least. The law may, probably will, bring you back and make you pay. The abuser is innocent in the eyes if the law so they all point fingers at the "evil mother" k²Freedom is worth it! I asked the court for permission. Judge put a restraining order on the child. Medical records saved me and my child...at least until the child turned 14. When the batterer finished spending the kids college money he kicked her out before legally 18. Almost missed finals for high school. The only word to describe the whole lot of divorce and family law grim reapers, abusers and greedy psychos pretending they are helping survivors but they are simply. collecting fire hose spigot 8f money and preserving their right to do so. Mediate if you can. Lawyers won't help. They'll just take your money and make the abuse worse. There is one brave attorney, Rebecca Zung, You Tube who can help. I could have used her help then. Most everything I have heard she and Danish say is correct, spot on. These dark personalities seem lovable and can act appropriately. That is what makes these situations so horrendous! Justice, your children's safety, your life, safety.... These are not considered. Money, even if your child has to suffer under their rulings. You will definitely suffer but you will be stronger and happier if you hold up under pressure. You can and must! Pray, meditate and read to your children. That tells them you love them, distracts from your angst and is a nice way to interact. Do not put them down. Elevate yourself.
"Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."
Mark Twain
Their level is hell. They like it. You will have to climb out and never show negative emotion. No prolonged crying. In civil court, the judges get mad if you mention abuse!¿! Yes indeedy duty!
I found Rebecca Zung a good few years ago, before I was divorced. The advice she gives is a godsend
this is me always so tired and want to cry.. I have been leaving off and on for awhile and now I just can't stand him and I am in my own home now and sleeping better, eating better, somewhat relaxed and come and go as I please, yes this me I am so tired... Yes I am and want completely OUT now. I sure have lost so many years and his cheating and heart ache but he will stand before Lord Jesus Christ he evil have no way of getting away..
Thanks
Your so right Danish. He is in hospital now and that is exactly how I'm feeling. No care at all.
I was living with One narrictes man that damned me and my child for the last 15 years and he decided to abuse are child mentaly and physically and it didn't stop there.
🔥🔥🔥SOOO EXCELLENT 🎯🎯🎯🥇🥇🥇Thank you sooooo much for this🔥🔥🔥 Serious FIRE Brother
Ive been married 45 years and my husband has never been to the city I grew in. I didn't see my Mom ir siblings for 8 YEARS because didn't want to go without him. When I saw he was never going, I bought a plane ticket and went to see my family. He was furious. He had lost that control. Now I understand. No love, no affection, no marriage. I have only been a captive source of supply.
Scary , but so true .
Thank you ❤
Thank you so much for this validation and information. It has provided so much relief. Every single thing you say is accurate. I have to take action.
Yes, I feel this. All of this.
Before I knew what a narcissist was, I called them the great stiflers & knew their nature was demonic. Yes they are so very tiring
That is what i experiencing right at the moment
Everything you said
My only wish; that I asked to see his phone 10 years ago. I tolerated so much ignorance, hate, abuse, and despicable garbage he would never forgive. Why did I? Because I hoped he would change. It never happened until one day, 10 years into the joke of a circus, I asked to see his phone.... FOR 3 MONTHS STRAIGHT. NOPE. He couldn't provide that, but played the "super nice guy role" something I've never witnessed during arguments. My closure, handed to me on a golden platter. He told me what he was about, without actually telling me. Thank you John, I appreciate that. Prayers from Beamsville/Smithville Ontario. You should be listed as a s ÷X predator.
@@jbrown2908 👋👋🙏
I realized my relationship was over, when my ex narc started physically abusing me as well.
I was sold into human trafficking by my biological mother, such a narcissist. It's dread like none I've ever known... The thought of her being anywhere near me.
Because of my narcissistic mother my father committed suicide last month... I feel alone nd helpless.... miss u papa 😢
I’m very sorry for the loss of your father. 😢
I can’t imagine, in how much pain you are in.
Sending you a BIG hug from Los Angeles.😊
Thank you for these informative videos, it is greatly appreciated 😊
You know I saved his life during covid...going not knowing if I'd get sick...didn't mean a thing
Thank you so much for doing this video God bless you everything was on point keep up the good work brother have a beautiful day Jesus loves you ❤
On target! That's exactly how i felt. He left a car in my brothers house driveway for a year. like a storage garage.
Couldn't stand seeing him sleeping when i get home from working 8 hours. Lazy. Very lazy
I'm trying to escape one, only to have to go back to another one, in the form of my Mother.
Why do I have to deal with this shit
1. You’ve said no more often than they can accept.
2. You’ve set boundaries for yourself
3. You’ve become aware of their manipulation tactics
4. You’ve shared your situation with literally anyone else and let them know about it
5. You’ve separated your finances completely
THANK YOU SIR DANISH, THIS IS TRUE AND EDIFYING😔
So true 👍
Thank you Danish 🙏
Ghosting me was the most lonliest thing i have ever had done to me in my home 😢
This is my experience for a long time, wanting to leave for sooo long
I noticed that when I'm going out with friends, I feel way better than at home. Yesterday I wanted to stay alone at home. So I tried to make my husband get out but it didn't worked. It was so frustrating. I no longer want to sleep next to him.
thank you, Danish. Yes,... I know I should go.
Never be afraid to reach out to the police for domestic abuse no matter what theats a narrassis will say... They are there to help and will start a process that will give your life back.
God bless you bro all these are 100% correct
My problem is the narc spouse won’t leave my house. I have started divorce and already spent a lot of money but he’s doing all kinds of legal abuse and meantime he can continue staying at my place. I cannot wait to kick him out and never have to see him ever again
Thank you for sharing
The saddest thing to me is that since I've gotten a job (planning to leave) my children enjoy when I'm not home. Good ol dad gives them everything they want. Love bombs them and turns them against me. I know they don't know any better but it still hurts. They will see the monster one day. Maybe they will realize I wasn't the one ruining the days. .....
I've told him I'm done I don't want to do this anymore. He just acts like nothing is wrong. I cannot stand this anymore.
Yes his eyes went black. Nothing will calm him down and he is out for blood. He will say you better get away from him (because he wants to physically harm you) I have peed my pants several times because I'm terrified.
I've gone through all these signs