Hello, Kejie! I've been watching your videos for a while now, and I just have to say, I really appreciate, and also entertained, by each one of them. On this video, I love how your storytelling, and genuine seriousness--I can sense your emotion. Watching your videos feels like hanging out with a friend, and I always leave with a smile (or something new to think about!). Just wanted to say thank you and let you know your work means a lot. Looking forward to more great content! 😄
it's awesome that you show regret at the end of the video. not many people admit to it. and only the ones accepting their mistake and admit regret will grow emotionally
Lesson I: agreed. In my most recent 7 years relationship I had multiple opportunities to take note of concerns early on and yet I consistently gave the benefit of the doubt, and was dismissive of my gut instincts to a fault. I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe I too desperately wanted our relationship to work. In part I learned that if I practice being non-confrontational, and just a silent observer in my relationships, I can expect more of the same from my partner AND more of the same from myself. I guess at this point in hind-sight I now also realize that often times I was in disbelief that what I was witnessing could possibly be "all her" and not also the people she worked with, family, friends, strangers she interacted with. It took years and finally this past year it all started making sense and I realized she consistently declined to take any responsibility for her actions, and would always blame others regardless of how serious or how petty a thing was. She would repeatedly voice her "version" of events until her version would sort of become the truth. I let the notion of or idea of our love (not the reality) propel me forward, and I kept telling myself this couldn't just be her, her behavior, her moods, her petty outbursts. It call came to a head during a vacation together last year. On at least two occasions she went full "Karen" in front of me when she felt slighted by another person or the people around her (on a tour) in general. I was shocked to witness it to that degree and first-hand. Then in the second event she directed some of it towards me and sort of went on a dramatic attack that she wouldn't let go of and seemed hellbent on getting some sort of specific satisfaction in which (I assume) I would claim full responsibility and apologize to her, promise to do better...etc etc. But in the second case she had gaslighted me, and instead of acknowledging what she had done, and instead of claiming any responsibility or just laughed and said "omg I was SO silly!" she instantly condemned me for "not having her back" and created a different story and went on the attack. I STILL struggled with my internal turmoil over the details of our relationship, our love, could we make it work? What about our past? What about our future? She in many ways was successful, responsible, adult, beautiful, a family oriented woman, presented herself well visually. Anyway at last all these different moments and events from the last 7 years started fitting together and making sense to me. It took a lot of reading, introspection, reflection, soul searching and research on my part. I didn't know that covert narcissism event existed. I even suspected myself - was this all me? - all in my head? Am I the narcissist? Because we all can exhibit some degree of narcissistic behavior from time to time, its not like anyone is a saint. She would never quite let me go. I made multiple attempts to break up and move on and she'd always manage to convince me to reconsider. Finally I realized I had to do something different to move on and escape. I had to block her on my phone, text, social media. I am reclaiming my peace and myself. I now feel I have to collect what is left of myself and rediscover or reinvent the rest. I kind of lost myself in these past 7 years of trying to fit into a shape and a place I really never belonged. Quite a long rant but you inspired me. Thank you, Kejie! (I might add...4/7 of the last 7 years it became a long-distance relationship with occasional visits...i think this is the only reason we could have lasted so long)
And thank you for sharing your experience with me! Things all happen for a reason. I really like the lines in This Is Us, "If you're brave enough to allow yourself the gift of a really wide perspective, you'll see that the end if not sad. It's just the start of the next incredibly beautiful thing." Hope this will guide you to a place where you would like to belong.
Me and my partner have been in a relationship for 6 years but unfortunately I lost it all and regrets it because of my toxicity and misguided emotions. A part of me thinks that my reactions are my response to the fear of losing her or being replaced because within that 6 years her parents don't know anything about our relationship. In fact, multiple times I faced her parents and all answer i get is rejection. The thing that made her left me is because she and her friends, along with male friends wants to visit in the mountain and i want her to wear appropriate outfit especially because I really don't trust those men in the first place because one of them tries flirt with her and its not like she responded but my feelings are so sensitive about it because we are in long distance relationship. I thought I was doing to protect her but in her defense, she was saying that she wears whatever makes her comfortable. I can't blame her for that but my feelings really be getting in me because i don't feel comfortable with those men around her. After I raised my concerns, she dump and break up with me because on her end, i was being to controlling. I failed to realize that maybe she was just tryna enjoy and vibe with the nature and my actions towards her made her feel like its too much. It's not like the first time we argue about it but most of the time, she understand my feelings and i respect her as well. I am really broken in pieces because right now she block all of my contacts and I don't see any enthusiasm that she still wants to be with me. I regretted that i acted too harshly and it's not like i am not willing to become better. I admitted my mistakes and reflect on that. But right now, i get really teared up that i brough this on myself and I can't let her go
Was he asian or western born. My parents are hk chinese but I'm British born. Tbh ... I have more western traits than asian ... not sure if that's good or bad
Hello, Kejie!
I've been watching your videos for a while now, and I just have to say, I really appreciate, and also entertained, by each one of them. On this video, I love how your storytelling, and genuine seriousness--I can sense your emotion. Watching your videos feels like hanging out with a friend, and I always leave with a smile (or something new to think about!). Just wanted to say thank you and let you know your work means a lot. Looking forward to more great content! 😄
hi Christian! Thank you for your kind words, those really means a lot to me! ❤
it's awesome that you show regret at the end of the video. not many people admit to it. and only the ones accepting their mistake and admit regret will grow emotionally
Im glad you've moved on
You're so pretty 🤎. I've seen some of your other videos, I really enjoyed watching your little travel videos and your adventures around Shenzen.
Lesson I: agreed. In my most recent 7 years relationship I had multiple opportunities to take note of concerns early on and yet I consistently gave the benefit of the doubt, and was dismissive of my gut instincts to a fault. I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe I too desperately wanted our relationship to work. In part I learned that if I practice being non-confrontational, and just a silent observer in my relationships, I can expect more of the same from my partner AND more of the same from myself. I guess at this point in hind-sight I now also realize that often times I was in disbelief that what I was witnessing could possibly be "all her" and not also the people she worked with, family, friends, strangers she interacted with. It took years and finally this past year it all started making sense and I realized she consistently declined to take any responsibility for her actions, and would always blame others regardless of how serious or how petty a thing was. She would repeatedly voice her "version" of events until her version would sort of become the truth. I let the notion of or idea of our love (not the reality) propel me forward, and I kept telling myself this couldn't just be her, her behavior, her moods, her petty outbursts. It call came to a head during a vacation together last year. On at least two occasions she went full "Karen" in front of me when she felt slighted by another person or the people around her (on a tour) in general. I was shocked to witness it to that degree and first-hand. Then in the second event she directed some of it towards me and sort of went on a dramatic attack that she wouldn't let go of and seemed hellbent on getting some sort of specific satisfaction in which (I assume) I would claim full responsibility and apologize to her, promise to do better...etc etc. But in the second case she had gaslighted me, and instead of acknowledging what she had done, and instead of claiming any responsibility or just laughed and said "omg I was SO silly!" she instantly condemned me for "not having her back" and created a different story and went on the attack. I STILL struggled with my internal turmoil over the details of our relationship, our love, could we make it work? What about our past? What about our future? She in many ways was successful, responsible, adult, beautiful, a family oriented woman, presented herself well visually. Anyway at last all these different moments and events from the last 7 years started fitting together and making sense to me. It took a lot of reading, introspection, reflection, soul searching and research on my part. I didn't know that covert narcissism event existed. I even suspected myself - was this all me? - all in my head? Am I the narcissist? Because we all can exhibit some degree of narcissistic behavior from time to time, its not like anyone is a saint. She would never quite let me go. I made multiple attempts to break up and move on and she'd always manage to convince me to reconsider. Finally I realized I had to do something different to move on and escape. I had to block her on my phone, text, social media. I am reclaiming my peace and myself. I now feel I have to collect what is left of myself and rediscover or reinvent the rest. I kind of lost myself in these past 7 years of trying to fit into a shape and a place I really never belonged. Quite a long rant but you inspired me. Thank you, Kejie! (I might add...4/7 of the last 7 years it became a long-distance relationship with occasional visits...i think this is the only reason we could have lasted so long)
And thank you for sharing your experience with me! Things all happen for a reason. I really like the lines in This Is Us, "If you're brave enough to allow yourself the gift of a really wide perspective, you'll see that the end if not sad. It's just the start of the next incredibly beautiful thing." Hope this will guide you to a place where you would like to belong.
Me and my partner have been in a relationship for 6 years but unfortunately I lost it all and regrets it because of my toxicity and misguided emotions. A part of me thinks that my reactions are my response to the fear of losing her or being replaced because within that 6 years her parents don't know anything about our relationship. In fact, multiple times I faced her parents and all answer i get is rejection. The thing that made her left me is because she and her friends, along with male friends wants to visit in the mountain and i want her to wear appropriate outfit especially because I really don't trust those men in the first place because one of them tries flirt with her and its not like she responded but my feelings are so sensitive about it because we are in long distance relationship. I thought I was doing to protect her but in her defense, she was saying that she wears whatever makes her comfortable. I can't blame her for that but my feelings really be getting in me because i don't feel comfortable with those men around her. After I raised my concerns, she dump and break up with me because on her end, i was being to controlling. I failed to realize that maybe she was just tryna enjoy and vibe with the nature and my actions towards her made her feel like its too much. It's not like the first time we argue about it but most of the time, she understand my feelings and i respect her as well. I am really broken in pieces because right now she block all of my contacts and I don't see any enthusiasm that she still wants to be with me. I regretted that i acted too harshly and it's not like i am not willing to become better. I admitted my mistakes and reflect on that. But right now, i get really teared up that i brough this on myself and I can't let her go
Everything will be okay brother
Wow, that call with him going to the bathroom was wild. I had a friend that did that to me once (that I know of). It's very odd.
Hello Kejie,
Why did you date him so long? Usually, it takes about 2 years of dating to find out if he is the one.
relationship is complicate
HI. I like your eearrings
I like those as well :)
This will help. Don’t talk about your ex’s on the interweb for the world to hear. No guy likes a blabber mouth
Was he asian or western born. My parents are hk chinese but I'm British born. Tbh ... I have more western traits than asian ... not sure if that's good or bad