5 Reasons to STOP being the Doormat Girl

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 179

  • @joanofarcxxi
    @joanofarcxxi Місяць тому +193

    Yes indeed. I have observed along my life's journey that many men actually like bitchy women even though they complain about them. But there is an art to being a bitch. Also, if you act like a proper bitch with men who are narcissistic, it's not going to work, but you don't want it to anyway, because you don't want a narcissist. "Why Men Love Bitches" - a great book, I recommend. The same author also has another book called "Why Men Marry Bitches". Also listen to a song by Mariana and The Diamonds called "How to be a heartbreaker", it's a simple way to remember what men actually prefer. A man is not a plan, and a romantic relationship is not all there is to life. Never chase a man, if he pulls back, don't follow. Don't give a man husband privileges if he is not your husband. Have your own plan and take care of you. Decentralize men and get them off the pedestal. This lady gives very good advice. She deserves many more views.

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  Місяць тому +7

      Thank you for this message & the book recommendation ❤️ 🙌 I will check it out

    • @kainatayub2346
      @kainatayub2346 Місяць тому +3

      @@Ruzina God Bless You...❤❤❤

  • @mridusmitasurvives
    @mridusmitasurvives 4 дні тому +13

    Yes I got the answer today. Men cannot digest ladies with high values.

  • @lisaward8024
    @lisaward8024 Місяць тому +82

    Men get all huffy when a woman won’t give up her life for them, but then they always boomerang back! You’re right, they do respect you in the long run if you do what’s best for you and not bend to them.

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  Місяць тому +3

      Yes 🙌

  • @victoriarose7111
    @victoriarose7111 27 днів тому +42

    A strong woman has boundaries and real men respect that

  • @saraheagles4598
    @saraheagles4598 Місяць тому +160

    You say men like women who control their emotions; but i swear men actually love the drama 🙄 riddle me that

    • @andreatorluemke4982
      @andreatorluemke4982 Місяць тому +20

      The man who is for you will stay. The ones not for you will go. It’s ok to be kind and nurturing. Just have boundaries around your time and energy at first. After they get the signal that you like them and it’s after the 3rd date. Most relationship advice is for after the 3rd date I would say. I wish dating videos would state this. Before dating. While dating and after dating for awhile so you know the context that the advice is for

    • @andreatorluemke4982
      @andreatorluemke4982 Місяць тому +14

      Easy to be with. Hard to get into a room with. Tho

    • @celeste3100
      @celeste3100 Місяць тому

      Because they see the drama as crazy seggs in the bed. That’s why most men stay in toxic relationships. The seggs is good.

    • @donnaatienza8001
      @donnaatienza8001 Місяць тому

      yes I believe they do

    • @mandymasters6610
      @mandymasters6610 Місяць тому

      True that!

  • @InstavidDocs
    @InstavidDocs Місяць тому +128

    1. **Self-Respect**: Constantly pleasing others erodes your self-worth.
    2. **Emotional Drain**: People-pleasing leaves you exhausted and unappreciated.
    3. **Lack of Reciprocity**: Those who take advantage rarely give back.
    4. **Invisible Boundaries**: You teach others how to treat you.
    5. **Missed Opportunities**: Prioritize yourself and attract genuine relationships.

    • @donnaatienza8001
      @donnaatienza8001 Місяць тому +4

      yes I feel your right about this. been there and done this.

    • @InstavidDocs
      @InstavidDocs Місяць тому

      @@donnaatienza8001 Love from heart

    • @user-vd5vu8lx3d
      @user-vd5vu8lx3d Місяць тому

      Instead of bitch it could be secure attached!

    • @maggytravels0
      @maggytravels0 25 днів тому +1

      Chat gpt

  • @EdelweisSusie
    @EdelweisSusie 29 днів тому +43

    I’ve never worked out why men keep abandoning me. I’m kind, affectionate, honest, quite funny, very open and respect my man etc but after a few years happily together they just leave me for no reason (no-one else involved) yet my girl friends row with their husbands IN PUBLIC and in front of his friends (!), treat them like sh*t, have absolutely NO respect for them, talk trash about them to their friends and rarely have s*x with them (some not for years!) yet they’ve ALL been married for 30+ years and their husbands think the sun shines out of their arse!!!! Explain that to me.

    • @SibyllaCumana
      @SibyllaCumana 28 днів тому +13

      Same. I guess we appear 'boring' because they take us for granted. That's why now I decided not to lower my standards, meaning not compromising anymore: I was the only one doing so. I didn't date for looks, wealth or status but at the end I now realise I ended up with losers. I am sorry to use that word because I honestly believed everyone was essentially good but unfortunately it reflects reality and my poor self esteem. Not anymore

    • @CoralBalmoral
      @CoralBalmoral 27 днів тому

      @EdelweisSusie good question, surely

    • @MyAngelAlfie
      @MyAngelAlfie 26 днів тому +1

      Hell yeah I need to understand this, just...why? Surely this is a reflection on the man though? They must be insecure/ ego issues or something?!

    • @Elliecham
      @Elliecham 24 дні тому +7

      @@MyAngelAlfie Definitely insecure and low self-esteem. If the men themselves had any standards, they wouldn't put up with that behavior.

    • @Jan-f8w
      @Jan-f8w 2 дні тому

      ​@@Elliechamexactly right. The men just want the APPEARANCE of a stable relationship. That's more than enough for them because they have no idea how to be in a healthy relationship.

  • @tobe-you-tube6612
    @tobe-you-tube6612 Місяць тому +55

    If he doesn't respect you, it has nothing you can do about it. You can't change his lack of consideration for you. Respect is about education. If you ever happen to see any sign of disrespect, even if it's just from time to time, leave as soon as you can. It's not your problem. Respect is not a game. You become a doormat if you allow people to walk over your head repeatedly. Don't be here when he comes back.

  • @JoyousOne10
    @JoyousOne10 24 дні тому +14

    I don’t understand why everyone expects women to be the ones to cater to what’s basically male narcissism. Why do I have to bend myself into a pretzel to play the man’s game? The answer is I don’t have to. If I play this push and pull game to meet a man’s needs I end up letting go of my values. What if I value people who don’t play games. The older I get the more I understand that it’s a lie I’ve been told my whole life that women are the game players. Men play games just as much if not more.

  • @frayansertzrave
    @frayansertzrave 20 днів тому +10

    Thank you for this. 💖
    I remember the book, "Why Men Love B-tches". It totally helped me to grow more at 25 and be wise in the man I have to wait.

  • @shaylasanchez100
    @shaylasanchez100 Місяць тому +70

    My first husband died and my son went to his house to get some of his things. He asked me, do you want something to remember Dad by? I said yes please bring me something. When he got home he had something behind his back and he was trying hard not to laugh. He said Uncle John is not sure you are going to like this, but…Then he handed me a book-Why Do Men Love Bitches? I busted up laughing. It was sooo meant for me. I still have it. 😊

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  Місяць тому +3

      Thank you for sharing this ❤️ 🙌

    • @everythingaboutherwords
      @everythingaboutherwords 15 днів тому

      I’m currently reading the book. Hahahaha I’ve been wanting to read this for ages but my boyfriend doesn’t allow me.

  • @tamjeeda4220
    @tamjeeda4220 13 днів тому +4

    Wow..her words are so clear cut & precise without sounding monotonous..
    Thanks for respecting our time baeb 😘

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  12 днів тому +1

      Thank for this messege ❤️

    • @tamjeeda4220
      @tamjeeda4220 12 днів тому +1

      @Ruzina Most welcome Ruzina 😊❤️ Doing a great job 👍 keep it up

  • @sb853547
    @sb853547 Місяць тому +8

    Thankyou souch for making these videos. I can't tell you how much these videos are healing.

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  Місяць тому +1

      I'm so glad you find it helpful ❤️ 🙌

  • @shivanidubey888
    @shivanidubey888 13 днів тому +3

    Really glad I stumbled upon your video! Guess I needed to hear this. Thankyou. This was helpful

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  12 днів тому

      Glad it was helpful ❤️

  • @Jasmina-Marseille
    @Jasmina-Marseille Місяць тому +47

    Absence. Exactly. I am very polite but cold, distant, but sometimes very hot. I triangulate my energy to gaslight their mental sanity. It works every time xxx

  • @gabrielamartiniuc6322
    @gabrielamartiniuc6322 Місяць тому +17

    A man referred to me as edgy the other day. I def took it as a compliment! ❤

  • @TheVioletCarousel
    @TheVioletCarousel 19 днів тому +7

    Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov. She also wrote Why Men Marry Bitches. Good Reads!

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  19 днів тому +1

      Yes I recently purchased the 2nd book 🙌😊

    • @TheVioletCarousel
      @TheVioletCarousel 18 днів тому +2

      @@Ruzina Its so sad we're not taught this growing up, but I suppose our mentors come from many places. Thank you for spreading this sage advice and inspiring others!!! 💖

  • @joancramer3675
    @joancramer3675 Місяць тому +12

    I’m older and dating 1 year. Been on back burner as you say, experienced I’m not. But learning. Very attached but pulling away. So glad to see this today. Growing is continual in life & crucial in every aspect of life in all relationships including family, friends or dating. Thanks so much.😊

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  Місяць тому +2

      ❤️ 🙌

  • @capricornsoul7227
    @capricornsoul7227 26 днів тому +2

    Thank you very much. I can relate 100%. I took a voluntary retrenchment in 2020 and called my ex for a job. We started to get involved again. I am financially dependent on him but refuse to accept hus abuse. I don't work for him, but he supports me financially. It has been an upward battle. He tries to run me down and tells me that I will be on the street not too long from now. I remove myself when I have to. He drinks incessantly and abuses me. I have been trying to find work and revive my business, but it has been very difficult. We are still together. However, I refuse to be abused by him. I speak my mind daily. He tries to fear the manipulation tactic, but I will not serum to his abuse. I ask myself when things are stable for me financially, I will not be with him by force. I have learned the biggest lesson of my life. Not a good place to be!

    • @ZFern9390
      @ZFern9390 15 днів тому

      Are you dependent on him financially because you have a few young kids with him?

  • @bumblebee_ms
    @bumblebee_ms Місяць тому +35

    Your advice is amazing, I wish I knew all of this in my youth.

  • @weekendnomad5038
    @weekendnomad5038 День тому +1

    They say when you stress a man out it triggers his BONDING hormones ❤❤❤❤😂😂😂😂😂

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  День тому

      Interesting! 🤔 😊

  • @LashundaMenefield
    @LashundaMenefield 24 дні тому +2

    I love this video!! And so needed.❤

  • @victoriarose7111
    @victoriarose7111 27 днів тому +3

    I appreciate a strong man so it makes sense men feel like that towards a female

  • @saimatajers8853
    @saimatajers8853 2 дні тому +2

    WELL DESCRIBED! AGREED!!!!!!!

  • @katemoffitt1641
    @katemoffitt1641 25 днів тому +6

    I’m not a bitch.
    I bring my loving self to a relationship BUT I put almost nothing into it.
    I value & love myself.
    I don’t fall for anyone either.
    Will NOT give up my emotions.
    They can fall 4 me.
    I can be “the one” now
    Not the other way round
    I’ve been down that road & it doesn’t work
    I’m super supportive of what they are going thru.
    Super loving & kind.
    I will NEVER be a bitch for any reason. NOPE!
    to be a bitch would make me a horrible person.
    not going to do it.

  • @helenamarhounova1120
    @helenamarhounova1120 Місяць тому +8

    Girl i love you and hope your Chanel will grow fast and quick

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  Місяць тому +1

      🙏 thats so kind & supportive for you say Thank you 😊

  • @Vera11111000
    @Vera11111000 11 днів тому +1

    Love it! Well done! Liked & Subscribed xxx

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  10 днів тому +1

      Thank you subscribing ❤️ xx

    • @Vera11111000
      @Vera11111000 10 днів тому

      @@Ruzina❤

  • @hanahadgo1924
    @hanahadgo1924 Місяць тому +5

    Yes beautiful exactly true ❤😘🌻

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  Місяць тому +2

      🙌 ❤️

  • @aisyahzulzurin6357
    @aisyahzulzurin6357 Місяць тому +14

    You’re so pretty❤

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  Місяць тому

      🙌 ❤️

  • @HaleyHayes-q1z
    @HaleyHayes-q1z 14 днів тому +2

    Truly knowing your worth as a person and standing up for yourself often gets you confused for a b*tch.

  • @fruzsinavalo2044
    @fruzsinavalo2044 Місяць тому +2

    Amazing. Thank you. You are a gem 💎 Ruzina ❤️🥰

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  Місяць тому

      Thank you for watching ❤️ 🙌

  • @Sidrasprospects
    @Sidrasprospects 29 днів тому +1

    Thankyou beautiful woman💎😍

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  28 днів тому

      Thank you for watching ❤️ 🙌

  • @helenamarhounova1120
    @helenamarhounova1120 Місяць тому +1

    wow, great video I need to hear that, really thank you

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  Місяць тому

      Glad it was helpful! ❤️

  • @janetlane4555
    @janetlane4555 15 днів тому +1

    I would never do drama...when you trow a tantrum you've lost..

  • @ragallylou
    @ragallylou Місяць тому +10

    My partner said last night that I am living in my own bubble, going to therapy, going out with friends and going to a pottery studio like it is negative thing?

    • @destroyraiden
      @destroyraiden Місяць тому +16

      well to him it is you aren't being he-centered. just keep doing what you're doing.

    • @Pinkpanda811
      @Pinkpanda811 Місяць тому +9

      Stay there and never leave your bubble 🫧 you're doing it correctly!

    • @megang7738
      @megang7738 28 днів тому +1

      ​@@Pinkpanda811don't compromise.

    • @dorotawoyn6053
      @dorotawoyn6053 15 днів тому +2

      It was a compliement for you ❤😊

  • @swaflyr1
    @swaflyr1 17 годин тому +1

    ❤Thank you❤

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  4 години тому

      You are so welcome ❤️

  • @karendina1284
    @karendina1284 Місяць тому +7

    Depend what kind of man are you looking for

  • @Tolueneshair
    @Tolueneshair Місяць тому +3

    I love the way you broke it down. Please I am yet to see the name of the book and the author so I can buy it. Weldone and Thank you

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  Місяць тому

      Hello! The book is called Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov. It’s a great book about dating & relationship & I hope you can find it 🙌

  • @LOVETHYSELFDAILY
    @LOVETHYSELFDAILY Місяць тому +1

    Keep up the good work!

  • @palmirareisrocha
    @palmirareisrocha Місяць тому +1

    Very good.

  • @yesyoga
    @yesyoga Місяць тому +1

    Awesome! I forwarded to friends! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼💋

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  Місяць тому

      🙌 ❤️ thank you!

  • @anacarolinabazandecarvalho8313
    @anacarolinabazandecarvalho8313 Місяць тому +1

    You are amazing 😊😊😊

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  Місяць тому +1

      ❤️ 🙌

  • @aarushisingh132
    @aarushisingh132 6 днів тому +1

    very true

  • @Drew-o9y
    @Drew-o9y Місяць тому

    Hey everybody. Not sure why this was recommended to be but I feel like an infiltrator lol. I disagree with points 1-3 but agree with 4-6. Luckily I kept watching the video! Lol let's all work on being healthier... Congrats on surviving the worst days.

  • @SuzieKay-k4k
    @SuzieKay-k4k Місяць тому +2

    Thank you so much. You are so helpful

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  Місяць тому

      Glad you found it helpful ❤️ 🙌

  • @Chris-oz9wx
    @Chris-oz9wx Місяць тому +9

    I like the way you say Bitch.

  • @RoseMwachia
    @RoseMwachia Місяць тому +2

    really do love watching your videos Ruzina , lm new me👍 do appreciate changing lifes out here 👏💯

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  Місяць тому +1

      Thank you Rose ❤️ for watching the videos and messaging. I'm so glad the videos have been helpful to you. 🤗

  • @joansheekey476
    @joansheekey476 15 днів тому +2

    I have begged text never stoped in a year off him wanting me two go I did chase and it dident work he’s gone. And as yu said a bitch well I wasent one wish I was then I’d be still with him

  • @Malekfahad420
    @Malekfahad420 29 днів тому

    Hey Ruzina, really nice video ! I was wondering if I could help you with Best Quality Editing in your videos better than your Editor with good pricing and also make a highly engaging Thumbnail which will help your videos to reach to a wider audience ? Pls let me know what do you think ?

  • @justathought274
    @justathought274 17 днів тому +1

    I agree with not being a doormat or losing oneself.
    A “bitch?” I’m not sure that’s the word.
    Having self esteem, self worth and confidence is not being a bitch.
    Being a bitch is negative: it’s about being nasty and cruel.
    Who wants a “man” who wants to be with someone who is horrible?
    What woman wants a “bitch” for a friend …

    • @trinityp8575
      @trinityp8575 5 днів тому

      The word “bitch” is used figuratively here. It means all those things you describe - a woman who loves herself and knows her worth.

  • @verarobinson6759
    @verarobinson6759 Місяць тому +1

    Yes true

  • @mariadefatimasantoscordeir5681
    @mariadefatimasantoscordeir5681 15 днів тому +2

    I’m sorry, but your opinions do not apply to every situation. I’ve been , all my life, that ideal woman you describe and it did not function at all with my husband. It just made him more dependent on my autonomy. He didn’t loved me more, or agreed we me more, or was more interested husband and father. He lived in my house, he was there using my efforts and my money to have a better life, not giving anything in return, except psychological and physical violence. Man, nowadays, are becoming users, consumers, they just want to receive and have nothing to give in return. Again, I’m sorry… your perspective does not fit the actual pattern.

    • @trinityp8575
      @trinityp8575 5 днів тому

      Why did you let him live in your house and use your finances etc? A “bitch” woman wouldn’t allow that and would ask him to move out. She wouldn’t tolerate such behaviour or a man.
      He probably would have changed if you did this and he saw that this kind of behaviour won’t work with you…

  • @weekendnomad5038
    @weekendnomad5038 День тому

    I believe this. I love my husband to death but I act like I’m owed his time, attention, priority, monies 😂😂😂😂 and I was always no nonsense . Act like you’ll walk away if he screws up. If hes not doing the things I pull away my niceness .
    I was a stepford wife in my first marriage and he cheated a lot

  • @balaaisha5753
    @balaaisha5753 Місяць тому +4

    ❤ from Nigeria

    • @balaaisha5753
      @balaaisha5753 Місяць тому +3

      You make me fall in love with myself again

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  Місяць тому +1

      ❤️🙌

  • @nakitchen9364
    @nakitchen9364 Місяць тому +5

    ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  Місяць тому +1

      ❤️🙌

  • @helenamarhounova1120
    @helenamarhounova1120 Місяць тому +2

    Please more video from you, just subscribe, you are so good,

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  Місяць тому

      Thank you for subscribing hope you can continue to enjoy future videos ❤️ 🙌

  • @waterlilynymph
    @waterlilynymph Місяць тому +4

    I keep hearing this from women, but it’s not really what mature men want who are truly ready for something special.
    Any guys watching, can you confirm this?

    • @nilimaibrahim8865
      @nilimaibrahim8865 12 днів тому

      No people are different. While Having your own boundary and self respect is crucial people always respond better to kindness. Who doesn’t they are broken. No amount of hard to get games will let you attain their heart. Water has no effect on fake flower. Sometimes we end up with the wrong person. While even with the right one we need to make adjustments it Won't be draining I promise you. Some men will never learn to love a lady. For someone you will always be incompatible. That's just bad luck.

  • @dutchsuperempath5494
    @dutchsuperempath5494 27 днів тому +2

    In my country women are self sufficient and are better in almost everything. They go to college more. This creates problems. We have lost our touch with pure feminine energy. And guys have lost their masculinity. I vote for going back to more oldschool ways and to praise women who take care of the family whilst being dependent on the men for money. It’s a good exchange.

    • @trinityp8575
      @trinityp8575 5 днів тому

      I like the old ways 💯 but being absolutely and totally dependant on a man can also create lots of issues.

  • @rihanaramburn697
    @rihanaramburn697 Місяць тому +1

    😮😊🤩🤩🤩🤩❤

  • @samexbot3351
    @samexbot3351 Місяць тому +7

    U can use strong or bold women instead of this😅

    • @Ruzina
      @Ruzina  Місяць тому +1

      😊

    • @anitac99
      @anitac99 15 днів тому

      Bitch women like that. They r not strong and bold...they r just Bitch.