THE SECRET To Negotiating In Business & Life TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS | Chris Voss & Lewis Howes
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- Опубліковано 10 чер 2024
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Thank you for watching this powerful interview with Chris Voss!
Check out the show notes here: www.lewishowes.com/902
During Chris’s 24 year tenure in the FBI, he was trained in the art of negotiation by not only the FBI but Scotland Yard and Harvard Law School. He has used his many years of experience in international crisis and high-stakes negotiations to develop a unique program and team that applies these globally proven techniques to the business world. Now he runs a top consulting company and teaches negotiation to graduate students at universities like Harvard and Georgetown.
In this conversation, we discussed several ways you can negotiate in your day to day life, including getting discounts on anything you buy, closing huge business deals, and walking away from deals and relationships that will never work out. I can’t wait for you to hear what Chris has to teach in Episode 902.
In this episode, you will learn:
How you can learn to not get defensive when triggered (5:44)
Tools to use when making a deal in business (13:02)
Why asking “why” questions make people defensive (21:40)
Ways to negotiate client deals if you are just starting out in your career (27:25)
The formula to get people to do things for you because they feel like it (31:48)
How to be a great sounding board for someone to work through their feelings (40:35)
A role-playing exercise you can do with a friend to practice negotiation (51:51)
You can Follow Chris Voss at:
www.blackswanltd.com/
/ thefbinegotiator
/ vossnegotiation
/ blackswanltd
You can follow Lewis at:
Website: lewishowes.com/
Instagram: / lewishowes
Facebook: / lewishowes
Twitter: / lewishowes
SnapChat: / lewishowes
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Lewis Howes' New Book - The Mask of Masculinity
lewishowes.com/man
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Lewis Howes is a NY Times Bestselling author, entrepreneur, and former professional Arena League football player. He hosts The School of Greatness, a talk show distributed as a podcast. Learn and hear the stories of various successful people around the world, become inspired, motivated and educated with the SCHOOL OF GREATNESS. lewishowes.com/book
You can follow me at:
Website: lewishowes.com/
Facebook: / lewishowes
Twitter: / lewishowes
Instagram: / lewishowes
Tiktok: / lewis
Linkedin: / lewishowes
It seems like this interview is a MasterClass in itself. I love one-to-one interviews with Chris because it seems they allow him to be in a state of liberty of expression, liberty of thought and most of all, a liberty of sharing experiences and information. He seems very happy to share and to teach at the same time and I thank him for that. Side note, using some of the techniques of negotiating written about in his book and which are even talked about in this interview, his book was delivered to me with high priority. So Chris Voss , if you're ever gonna see this message IT WORKS!, I used the techniques you described to get your book!
Joe Rogan, Chris Voss lets make this happen
David DAN wish I could like more than once
Please and Thank you
Yeah no
Joe Rogan is overated
Yessss!
you know chris is the real deal when the guy who is supposed to interview him speaks the whole time about himself
“Criticism is a form of advice” this is truly deep. Wonderful tips, thank you for sharing.
Chris Voss helped get me an A in my Dispute Resolution(Negotiations) Class in law school! He is INCREDIBLE!
What was helpful, and how would you have done those parts differently before gaining his help?
You got that right!! 👍
@@RichLuciano1 Read the book my friend. You won't be able to put it down. Phenomenal! 😊
@@lindasedberry8853been there; don't that; got the t-shirt; lost the shirt off my back. Not a phenomenally effective book.
Have you given up on telling us how he helped you get to an A?
How could anyone criticize Louis? He's like the nicest guy on the planet.
1:13:38 1:13:38
I don't understand why so many people in the comments are criticizing Lewis so much for this interview. I think that he and Chris had a wonderful and inspiring conversation.I think that Lewis' interviewing style puts his interviewees at ease. I don't feel that he monopolized the conversation at all.
I really respect both of these people. Thanks for sharing it with us!
I used to be sooo terrified of confrontation and was dealing with a really abusive boss/toxic work culture! A friend recommended me his book and it really changed my perspective on negotiation!! #lifeisnegotiation
I've used the book daily for three years, but it's been vastly unhelpful.
@@RichLuciano1 what are some situations you've used the book to try and help you where it failed? What techniques did you attempt to use, what was the expected vs. real outcome?
@@mechaflash1352 For the sake of brevity here are a few of the results from using Never Split the Difference.
Chapter 2's mirroring is something we all do naturally. However, the book could lead people to believe it works better than we know from experience. Many times when we repeat a few key words we've just heard, we are essentially asking them a Yes focused question. Therefore, it's often answered with a Yes or a Yes and they keep right on talking without unpacking any of those words for us. Then, have to drop it as our counterpart assumes we already know what he/she means or we have to recover our fumbled attempt to mirror by asking What do you mean by x?
Counterpart: Blah, blah, blah, X, Y, Z.
You: X, Y, Z?
Counterpart: Yep. Blah, blah, blah.
You: What do you mean by X, Y, Z?
Then, they'll unpack that for us.
Mirrors alone fail greater than 50% of the time because it, potentially, is a getting to Yes strategy similar to Yes momentum. This is important because getting to Yes strategies are not trustworthy as Voss can affirm. People who are friends will probably make fun of you after they hear you uptalk during your mirrors as would happen to me. The high pitch in your voice that used to be taken for a question can become a point of mockery.
It sounds egocentric to be sharing about my immersion into labels. I had a superior that negative labels didn't work well on. He would affirm them. I, also, had a friend that could label himself with negatives better than anyone I've ever met. However, it didn't seem to work on me very well. Therefore, it's hard to see the value in negative labels when experience tells me they aren't very helpful. Did they work half of the time unbeknownst to me?
Chapter 4's You're right Vs. That's right is something useful. This chapter implies that we ought to take hearing You're right as a subtle F you. What should be known to Voss (but seems otherwise) is that you can trigger a subtle epiphany in someone and hear You're right! However, years before I discovered this book, people would often call asking for help with all kinds of personal and professional relationships. At some point durring our chats the person talking to me would enthusiastically say You're right! This book confirmed that You're right was a failure for us. Long story short that, like Voss, I also took it as a bad sign. When I heard You're right (even when read it in a text) I assumed they will do nothing with whatever counsel was given to them. That's right means they've decided to go with your train of thought, but they're confident that they're now in control of the situation as if it was their idea all the whole time. You do not have to take my word for it, but what Voss teaches us about you're right and that's right, is right!
Chapter 5 boasts its Email Magic (i.e., Have you given up of this project?) ensures you will not be ignored again. Unfortunately it only works half of the time, and it never advanced our main goal in our negations. If you are trying to provoke a reply there are plenty of ways to do this. If you're trying to gain anything positive with Have You Given Up On... it seems like it yeilds nothing great. It might have helped when I told someone to email thier friend whom went silent with Have you given up on being friends? I thought I could give you very accurate numbers of its success rate but there are just too many failures to look up. Regardless of its use in texts, email subject lines, the body of emails, and those annoying contact us pages, it looks like it worked at least 10% of the time in my personal experience. Naturally, this means they have given up when they don't reply. Like most of this book, it's not bad advice, but like most of this book, its effectiveness is oversold. I'm sorry for keeping bad stats. I didn't expect so many bad results. You can test this on UA-cam right now. Have you considered asking the "have you given up on (this project)" line with a commentor in your YT inbox who has dropped off from sending you replies?
How acceptable is this?
@@RichLuciano1 this is actually a lot of good insight and thank you for taking the time to respond with such detail. Do you think the failure rates you experience are strictly because of how the methods are being deployed or that they may be due to generational differences?
@@mechaflash1352 although it's usually with old heads, there's too wide of a range for age to feel generational. What made you ask?
Wow! Chris is the real deal. Really enjoyed this conversation.
Chris Voss. His eye contact is fierce!
What a great interview. I'm really impressed with the questions and Chris' input and have to implement this info my life and business. Thank you!
You are phenomenal, Thank You for sharing this with us!
This is a great video. Negotiations are so important in life and especially in business. I’ll be watching this again sometime.
Great choice, Chris is wonderful, I loved his masterclass - tactical empathy is the perfect method in negotiations! Every decision is a negatiation and it can all be solved by being courious and using the "small tricks" mirroring, labeling, voice tuning and listening !!! 😍 but practise is so hard...
Agreed - that Masterclass is so GOOD! and to put it in to practice, it's tough - especially because emotions get in the way.
Chris is awesome! And the book has gold in it!
I want to see Chris Voss do a deal with Grant Cardone
"It seems like you got fish"
MaxDeveloper It’s a joke based on grant’s interview with Jordan Belfort
Charlesfrusa It sounds like no sense is sense
Grant Cardone does cocaine
Grant would probably create a seperate fish seminar for all to pay.
So many lightbulb moments... Great interview!
Another awesome interview with Chris Voss. This video brings to mind something that is not said enough. To practices Voss's techniques, you need an incredible amount of foresight. I guess the book mentions the "Acusation Audit" but you need to have a lot of previous experience to practice these techniques well.
I listened to Voss's audiobook, it was great.
The guy who narrated it did a very good job!
Huge fan of Chris. Thanks for doing this interview!
Here is an interview tip: Ask questions and then listen. The interviewee shouldn't be interrupted or listening to the interviewer's stories.
Agreed. The interviewer is more focused on himself and what he does rather than his guest. No one is watching this interview for the interviewer. Get over yourself.
Anthony Dooley it seems like the interviewer wants Chris to hear more what he wants to say than hear what Chris has to say
That's right ;) I don't think he has read Chris' book.
Or maybe he's just excited to be conversing with Chris and has so much to get out. The original point is still valid though.
the interviewer is not interested and has no clue what this thing is all about at all, he treats it as one of his random other interviews. but Chris Voss is delivering a mastery that is highly underestimated and probably not even understood by 99% of the population. The guy should just go back playing football.
Excellent Interview BOTH of you
This is the most valuable interview I've ever heard. Thank you!
Seek out all the Chris Voss videos you can find. They are all good.
Lewis you are very positive force in the world! I'd rather start off my Monday morning listening to something like this then what I'm finding on social media! Thank you
I have the audio book and the information is great but I wish that Chris was the one narrating it his voice is fantastic
want to roleplay mock negotiations using Chris Voss techniques?
Chris Voss is awesome in so many levels, this is soooo helpful especially for me in my business
one of the best video I've watched interviewing Chris Voss~
Huge fan of Chris Voss, glad I found you too!
Thank You✨ 😃
Thanks so much for the awesome video Lewis 🔥 This will definitely help me improve my Mindset, Business, and Life!! Keep it up! 💯💯🙌
What a great conversation. Loved every minute of it, thanks Lewis.
Thanks for sharing!!! I really wanted to see this video, to learn more from Chris Voss!
Phenomenal interview Lewis! You and Chris pulled out so many incredible insights! This is life changing for anyone who is actually able to actively listen and observe.
It feels like this interview is a masterclass in itself!
Thanks for watching. If you would, please leave a review on Apple or Spotify sharing your thoughts on this episode so others might benefit from watching it. Appreciate you!
I remain a fan of yours- you know how to teach us all with your interesting guests and your interview style. Grateful for you in my learning life!
Enjoyed this conversation! Thanks for bringing Chris back on the podcast.
Hey Lewis, great stuff. This is one of my favorite interviews with Chris. Thanks...
Best interview ever !!
Great golden nuggets. Thanks Chris and Lewis, for sharing.
Listening to his audio book. I think Chris Voss is terrific. Been listening to a lot of his videos lately and now have the audio book.
I could listen to Mr. Voss speak, talk, and laugh, FOREVER.
Such incredible idiomaticity and intonation.
Huge respect.
KT
I swear this guys amazing
You both are awesome! I just finished reading Chris’ book, I love him, what a cool guy!
What do you think about his book? :)
I needed this interview Lewis! Thank you!
love you lewis keep going💪💪💪❤ thank you ❤
“It seems like he loves what he is talking about...” This talk was highly engaging and very informative in an actionable kinda way. Thanks to both 🙏
Thank you both 🙏
Very valuable, thanks for sharing this
This is gold!
Anyone feel like dude would be a good life coach.?
He'd give you an honest inventory in the flat for lack of better word delivery. What a gift.
Thanks Chris, it’s working for me, learnt so much
Great questions, host! Very informative. Love it
Outstanding.
Wow great podcast!
Excellent Conversation! Really enjoyed it!
Chris; shut up and take my money. Your knowledge is unbelievably amazing. Thank you. 💯💯🙏🙏
Lewis on point with the questions!
Man I tell you what I hope to meet Chris one day and tell him how much of a profound impact he's had on my life. I'm what his son calls a "recovering assertive" and have a tendency to be too direct or forward and subsequently rub people the wrong way. His book and his methods have really given me insight and changed how I interact with people. Chris is absolutely awesome.
Thank you for this AMAZING video! I will watch this repeatedly because it's full of so much useful information. 1:04:37 alone is so valuable that I'm now a subscriber!
Absolutely love this guys teaching. Very well read and clearly has massive amounts of field experience.
I didn't from where I could get this much of learnings and value else where, thank you CHRIS & special thanks to you lewis for getting this together.
You're welcome,thank you for being here 🧡
Chris Voss always comes through as a very kind hearted understanding person. Negotiation is not about you, its always about the other person, always summarize where the other person is coming from..Wow!
All this information for free 😍 BLESSED 😇 THANK YOU 💞
When I saw the subscription button for Lewis Howes I nearly laughed he's ego with no ears Chris Voss slowly and clearly explained what he want Howes to do and when Voss went into role Howes looked like a dear caught in headlights then Voss had to explain himself again etc . Not, to mention he talked more than he listened and I'm like for Howes not realize we are listening to hear his guest Voss.
Yeah, I don't know who this guy is (came here to hear Voss), but his ego was the first thing I noticed. He talks too much.
exactly, give the interviewee a chance to talk
I like the questions and the re-explanation slowly. It helps me as I’m not good at this.
Thanks 👍Really I feel it's a good interview it's worth it 🙏
My 19 year old son has been using the emotional anchoring technique on me since he was old enough to talk. Now I have a name for it! 😂😂
LOVE this guy! Chris Voss book was amazing and really changed my view of negotiating! Thank you so much for this material! I’m trying that next time I go to a hotel 😅
Just awesome to know!! Thank you!
Thank you for this wonderful interview. It is so much fun to apply his teachings daily!
So happy you are enjoying the content. I would love for you to subscribe and leave me a review here:
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id596047499
The Best!
Too cool, this guy is awesome, honest value saves lives
love to see MR. Voss and David Snyder together on a show that be pretty interesting.
13:38 Great reference - thank you.
Great guy!
Blessings from Taiwan 🇹🇼😇🤗
Thank you, Lewis Howes, for posting this 1 hour long video so we can all LEARN during this "Safer at home " time. 🤓😜
Looking forward for more educational videos from your channel ! 🥳
God bless you ! 😇🤗
Lewis You are a fantastic man 😘
amazing!!!
Fantastic interview - thanks for having Chris on. It would've been nice to hear more of Chris and less of Lewis.
“Never be mean to someone who can hurt you by doing nothing”, easier said than done when an ex is the other part of the equation!
Of course that hurts because you have a history with them but sometimes it helps to look at your options objectively without emotion. Ask yourself what your goals are and what steps you need to take to get there. If you want to move on then you need to build up your life without them. You have the rest of your life to live and they are no longer a part of it. Their actions or words are no longer a part of your heart. You can do it. It won't hurt forever. Take care and know that some internet stranger cares ❤
Chris you save my life and my career I never thought that’s what negotiating was about I never learned I’m a guy that grew up with roaches on my face and bullied all the time took me 20 years to get where I am today and I’m not against learning more that sounds like to me that you really know what you’re talking about and I really appreciate the both of you I don’t remember the guys name that you’re talking with now but he is an amazing guy to and he has so many great questions it really really changed me I’ve been doing this for three months I just ordered your book I negotiated with myself and got the book for $3.12 I’m totally shocked but I didn’t stop I just kept asking myselfTo dig deeper and I found it for the cheapest ever but not without your training I tell everybody about you I scream your name from the top of the roofs from the rooftops the God of the blessing the Godden you my friend
😁 What are some of the aspects Boss’s influence has made an impact on?
oh god! the first interview I watched it like 5 times and every time I learned something new. Now, it's time to watch is interview. Thank you Lewis!
I really appreciate this interview with Chris. I bought the (never split the difference) audio book because I was hoping to hear his voice narrating. It's a fantastic book, but could be next level with Chris reading it 😎
Wow! Chris managed to sell you his course at the end. The cool thing is you brought it up yourself :D
Great stuff by the way! And on the contrary you have asked some really tricky questions to get Chris open up even more! Hats off!
Exactly like wellness coaching wow. Brilliant
Never split the difference is the best book I have ever read.
Sounds like what I learned in Nonviolent Communication . Empathetic listening . Always tune into the other person's emotions prior to " opening your mouth." When two people are " at it" they have a lot in common just disagree on strategy
I am fascinated with Him ...
1:03:38 begins the best part of this interview, for me. The whole reason why I tuned into this video was realized starting there. This isn't to say that the rest wasn't important. But this was the crucial moment that this all clicked for me, because I'm a skilled creative that feels he's been taken advantage of by an organization that I want to succeed and genuinely love. I've been struggling with how do I get my pay level up to a level that is commensurate with my inner value as well as the value of the organization.
Did you quit?
@@Jolt917 no, I got a raise and promotion at my insistence
@@Jolt917 I also paved the way for a profit partnership with them on a product I have been working on for years.
So how did you overcome the resentment you built up being tooled and underpaid by a a company that you believed in but was taking you for granted using Chris’ technique?
You must have insisted in a persuasive way.
Good interview Lewis. Chris is a master.
Great Interview questions aswell, great questions
Thank you so much for your feedback 🙂
Lewis, this one is great! 👍👍👍 Chris Voss is a new discovery for me.
You both are really amazing
Thank you for sharing all these goodies 🙏
Thank you so much Bella!
The audiobook is great, too!!
Andria Baunee sounds like you’re getting a lot out of the audiobook
@@30guarino there is a lot of additional content with the audiobook because You got the back and forth banter between the author and the reader.
Two GOATs
Excellent video 👍🏻👍🏻
Thanks for watching! 👍🙂
Awesome real life practical questions & answers. Gratitude to you both 🙏🏽
Thank you! Appreciate you!
Chris Voss has a great sounding voice. Would have loved him to narrate his brilliant book. You gotta do it Chris! Thanks for all the great advice.
Luxe Trust it seems like his voice gets you to understand certain concepts better
Love keeping skills up .Love this
🙌
amazing
long time watcher, first time commenter - love your work man
Nice 👍 Enjoyed the conversation while on my 2 mile hike!
Great chat! Like the idea about publishing content to gain credibility and establish oneself as an authority. Btw I also did landmark forum... completely transformed my life. Highly recommend!!
This guy is no joke. So shrewd.