0:00 Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize. Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube
Ramit, what you have zero clue on is the following. A. Real Estate in Canada was 100 perent the best decision this couple made as they profit over 200k with a simple investment of probably 20k (their saved money, and investment). That is like a 1000 percent roi in probably less than 3 years, if they went ot a financial advisor he would have given them 6% per annum and their 20k would be like 23k at best right now and they would have a NEGATIVE net worth right now, so please cut the crap. B. Due to the insane government policies in the country and pure manipulation of housing prices via investment capital poured in from abroad (immigration policy), if their home is in BC or the GTA, (I speak from experience and evidence) could go from 450k to 1,200,00 in as little as 3 years. basically an additional 800,000 of tax free capital gains that would take them 50 years of working and saving and investing to get to. Renting saving and investing with their income for the next 50 years will not net them 800,000 in gains. Seen way too many ppl sell their homes and do this and go borderline insane.... BC ONtario and a few other nations in the world are insane that way as it pertains real estate. Have had family members sell their homes for 600k, and 5 years later all of a sudden the home is worth 2 million dollars and if they work for the next 100 years and save they will not be able to re purchase their old home or make a capital gain of 1.4 million....Seen waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to much of this crap, in B.C and Ontario. I have also known people who purchased a home in B.C for 1 million and in 5 years and a coat of paint from home dump, re sell it for 4.5 million with a straight face. And our lying disgusitng deceptive media yapps the Canadian economy is hot...Meanwhile 100s of billions of dollars are being imported from Asia and poured into real estate causing it to go to 4.5...Canada is not at all like the US. Even During the 2008 housing crisis, when homes in Beverly Hills that sold for 2 mil, were foreclosed and listed for 800k and not selling, Vancouver home prices were increasing! I am not kidding u and u can easily verify what i have stated. I also think u had a couple from Ontario who claimed to have a net worth of 1.2 m, all of that was from capital gains from a purchase of home in Ontario in a period of no more than 5 years, they paid like 350k and the house is now worth 1.2 million, they did not work harder or smarter than anyone else, they just bought real estate 5 years ago in Ontario and people with PRs, Visas and dual citizens poured 100s of billions of dollars from asia and middle east into real estate in bc and ontario and made them rich. Everyone in Canada, who is slightly sharper than a bowling ball, has clued in on this by now!
Home values WILL NOT GO UP indefinitely! When the rates 'adjust' to a point when everyone is backing out of their mortgages and all dump their homes on the market at the same time, values will tank rapidly and many people will be 'underwater' on their homes and unable to sell without ponying up a lot of extra money! For a refresher, revisit 2007 and 2008! It is NOT DIFFERENT THIS TIME and the old rules DO STILL APPLY! Save up ahead of time making the same savings deposits as the PITI costs will be on the home you want and pay all or almost all for a property IN CASH! If you can't 'afford this kind of savings. YOU CAN'T AFFORD THE HOME! (we are 1st generation US, but own an old inherited home in Nova Scotia- love it!)
@@yourmainfulRamit isn’t against house buying he’s against house buying without considering all the hidden costs. The only reason these two lucked out was because they chose to sell at this time as was evident from the episode if they had waited much longer thier cost of living would have been through the roof and they’d have been broke possibly racking up debt to hold on to this house meaning in a few years it could’ve have been a different outcome. I don’t ever hear Ramit say don’t buy a house I hear home say no the real numbers and make sure you can afford it before you rush into it. Of course there will be different countries and states where property makes more sense as an investment but know the numbers. Be educated about it and look at the long term picture. These two certainly didn’t do that they rushed in on other peoples opinions and got themselves stuck luckily financially it worked out I’d imagine if the house wasn’t there though that she would have comes to her end conclusion sooner and been able to walk away sooner. It’s not always about the money she wants a family and the house and his refusal to be honest about where he’s at has put her life back 5 years I’ve been there and I’m now in a situation where I’ve not been able to have the family I so wanted it’s not always about profit and loss
@@yourmainfulthey bought a house at a good year. They didn’t buy at a good time in their relationship or with their finances. They were house poor and put much more than 20k toward the house over 2 years. Did you factor in the down payment, the property taxes, the HOA fees, the maintenance and moving costs or the realtor fees? Plus you typically don’t have a good idea if you did or didn’t buy a home at a good year at the time when you make the purchase. It’s like knowing whether or not you made a good stock investment at the time that the money was invested. It all only becomes clear after the fact. Even though when it goes well it seems obvious that you made a good decision when you bought. In reality it feels about the same when you time it right or not. You feel cautiously optimistic each time.
Brad will be married to the next woman he dates and they’ll have babies soon after. This is a tale as old as time. He just didn’t want to marry her. But she’ll find someone who does and get what she deserves. Best to both of them!
True Story: Cousin lived with a woman for eight years, she got pregnant, asked him to marry her twice, he said no. 2 years later Cousin proposed and married the next chick. Men really do this lol
Even worse, my ex married the girl he'd known for 2 months, 9ish months after we broke up, dude couldn't even wait till the next calander year. But tbf I was the one who said I don't see a long-term future.
@@jefdbycuz they needed a mom to do the cooking, the cleaning, the comforting, reassurance and affection. So while waiting for the one to show up they just jump into the comfort zone with whoever comes by.
He used her to stabilize his career. Now that he earns more, he feels he can do better. Candace, your past job might have been draining you but you live with an energy drainer who is nonchalant. Choose you, heal from the breakup & go apply for even better job. I hope God gives you the man you deserve.
She definitely was, but I don’t think it is completely fair to blame the guy here. She also needs to take accountability for being the volunteer caregiver in this relationship for so long. Too many women opt for the this and then cry when they are left holding the bag. I’m sorry, wise up to how a lot of men move so you don’t become the come up chick.
Lessons learned: 1) Never buy a house with a man if you’re not married 2) never pay for a man’s education unless you’re married 3) never contribute more to the household unless you’re married.
@@ideewhy Because when you divorce, lawyers have to go over what you put into the marriage and split it equitably. But homeboy just got half the equity on a home that she solely paid the mortgage on for 4 years straight because his name was on it. Why do you think this dude was having panic attacks at the idea of marrying this woman? If it didn't give her a bunch of legal protections, he would have just done it.
Girl that silence WAS SO LOUD!! I thought I had lost internet connection. It’s quite obvious to the viewers, I wish her luck and most importantly a peace of mind!
oof i was outside watering my plants w my earbud in and thought also that my phone had cut off. silence for that long was BRUTAL. glad to hear in the update that they sold + went their separate ways
His silence, and resistance to answering questions was because he didn't want to say what he really felt. He knows he was never going to marry her. She was comfortable and reliable.
What I picked up on was the fact that he said, “I want to get married and I want to have kids” but didn’t specify that he wanted those things WITH HER 😢 Wishing them all the best as they move forward ❤
Candace finally had the clarity she was looking for all along. It wasn't hard to see how he didn't have marriage in mind when Ramit asked what he would do with 100k and he immediately said "trips and golf." She was just too good for him. I wish her the best of luck.
While she did make a mistake in deciding to buy a house (I don't think he wanted to and I bet he didn't put down $ for it), she did a phenomenal job of not getting pregnant by him. Houses can be sold, but splitting up when you have a child together without being married is a whole different ball of wax. She saw the light and allowed us to learn from her. Great job in teasing the truth out of this couple, Ramit!!
This was my story with my ex. We had our offer accepted to purchase a condo, and at the last minute I trusted my intuition and backed out. When we hit our 5 year mark, he told me he no longer wanted to get married and have children. Those two topics were my deal breakers, throughout our relationship he would tell me that was his vision for us too. I was blindsided and devastated. He told me that I deserved the life that he wasn’t ready to commit too. I will never speak negatively of him, he was brutally honest. Fast forward, I’ve been married for 12 years and I have the family and children I always envisioned for myself. Know your worth because life does move on.
Proud of you Candace, I know it wasn’t easy decision. But as you have said you are not walking away empty handed. And you can build your life with someone with whom you share the same core values.
I was cheering a bit for her. I don’t think he was ever going to propose to her. He could be just one of those commitment avoidant guys who never marries or she just wasn’t the one. He should have let her go a long time ago if that’s how he felt - not strong her along
@@pookie1960Or he could be the type of guy who keeps waiting for the woman that he thinks will be better than the one he's with and just settles for the time being but ultimately ends up alone because no one is ever good enough. Candace did the right thing and Im sure I speak for many when I say we are rooting for her! Best of luck Candace! You deserve better!!
I found it interesting how Brad answered Ramit's question about what it would mean to have a family. He answered in singular form with, "I think I would be a great dad. I think I would be happy." There was no mention of partnership, how "WE" would be happy together, how "OUR" kids would bring us joy, etc. He wants to have a family one day... just not with her. The answer with the "more trips & golf" when they profited $100k each from the house also was a telltale sign.
I agree 100%. When that part happened, it honestly couldn’t have been any clearer. She kept talking about setting aside money for a wedding he never mentioned the word once. The relationship turned out to be a great financial investment based on the proceeds of the house. She’s attractive and disciplined and has a lot going for her. She will find the right man for her.
@@paulawhite5699he didn’t bring up marriage because he doesn’t want to marry. And she did because it is important to her. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about her just because he doesn’t want to marry.
Watever, why I would care about this toxic guy. For her span of life he is fucking breaker. Time and monday loss for nothing. He basically stop her from thriving in live. He is toxic as f*. He don't care about her vell being and he knows it,as well as his toxic mummy.
1. Sell the house 2. Take the difference and pay off whatever shared debt you have 3. Split whatever is left. 4. Break up. He doesn’t want to marry her. It’s been 5 years, and they could go to the courthouse. He doesn’t want to marry her. The house trouble is a blessing in disguise, because this is an out from being tied to such a huge commitment as bf/gf. ETA: I finished the episode, good for her! I am glad this show was enlightening to her about this relationship.
Good on you girl! You may have invested 5 years of your youth into this man but you are fortunate to leave the situation with plenty of money for fresh start. You are a bright and sweet woman that any man would be lucky to have as a wife. All the best ❤
I understand that some may not be used to expressing their feelings but Brad said everything when Ramit asked him what he would do with the house proceeds and didn't mention anything about marriage or kids, but instead mentioned golf equipment and travel. He's not ready for marriage and that's ok. They had different goals. The follow up was inevitable.
Sadly not inevitable, many people stay in these types of relationships for many years and only when they're 40 realize they likely missed their chance to have kids with someone they love, instead hoping for years and years that the one they're with will change.
@@sarahjaynescott545 he didn't lie. He's not on Candace's time table. If Candace wanted a marriage and a family, she should have set some time frame. If it has not happened when the time is up, then it's exit stage left for her. As for buying the house, she should have made marriage a requirement even before considering it. This is what can happen if you're playing the hope strategy because you might let down.
That man exploited that woman and wasted her time. She was playing Barbara the builder with a man who is not happy where he is and but loves the access to a roommate with benefits. If you cannot offer what the person wants, please let them go so they can find their happiness.
He probably loved her but took her for granted big time. She waited and waited for him to give her clarity, only to realize she could give herself the clarity she needed. She is strong and capable and she should be proud of herself for taking her life into her own hands. You go, girl.
He was holding her back with co-owning the house. He deep down understood, that without this co-ownership, she is free and he does not want to marry her, but also doesn’t want to free her, until he can find another woman… With the house gone, the relationship is gone. And the host does not understand relationships :).
I can't help but feel that he used her to get ahead and his mom was trying to salvage their relationship, so he could anchor into something it wasn't a waste for her years. That was some wife level commitment. If he knew she wanted kids so bad, why waste that much of her time and rob her of something that would make her happy? There's only so long you can carry kids.
Yea, him saying that selling the house would mean not able to buy again and he kept saying house, not “home”. He’s seeing the house and numbers, not the home and the symbolism of losing her and what could have been. Seems like he did it as a money move and assumed she’d be happy to play house with him and forget about the ring.
She was 100% clear about what she wanted from him. The issue from my perspective seems to be they were both lying to themselves. She for thinking he could be the man she wanted him, and he for thinking he wanted to be that kind of man. P.S. my only issue is the 50-50 split in proceeds. That’s some BS!
@h3llsb3lls612 for 5 years? As a fully formed adult not once did he think wow, living together, schooling for a better job, the time, the attempts of discussions for the future etc might mean something to her? And it's right after he makes more money than he ever thought he would?
Candace’s follow-up video hit the nail on the head. Good lessons are hard-learned. This was indeed the clarity she needed. Actually, clarity they both needed.
I agree, and fully support Candace’s decision. It’s so hard to acknowledge when a relationship is not what you hoped and needed. Good on you Candace for doing a really hard thing. This is gonna suck short term but it’s a course correction towards your rich life. Brad, I hope you learn from this too. There’s clearly some feelings preventing you from committing in the way your ex needed and you say you want. Help yourself dude. Find a safe space (group therapy, individual therapy) and develop some emotional communication skills. Maybe you realize you really want marriage and kids, great. Maybe you realize you value other things more. Then you can be a solid partner for someone who shares your values
What?!? Why is she paying the whole mortgage?!?! Tbh he’s using her. I’m actually upset on her behalf. No ring and paying the mortgage. Jesus be a helper for these people 😤
What's crazy is he walked away with half of the earnings when he didn't even put money into the home and was only splitting the mortgage a few months before the break up.
The issue is not about why couples should or shouldn't be married. The point is that they should both want the SAME thing. Either both want a to be married in 2-3 years or they dont. If he or she doesnt want that, IT'S TIME TO GO.
I'm glad that Candace decided to leave. I'm sorry that Brad would not commit after 5 years. My son would not commit after 10 years and then finally asked her. They broke up shortly after. I did warn her that my son was a commitment flob. All I can think of is the wasted time. If a man doesn't commit in 2 years, let him go, you are not the one. Chris
If there's one thing I've learned in all my years of dating, it's that men will always tell you exactly what you want to hear to make things work out to their very best benefit. Even if that benefit is an inappropriate kind of arrangement. And they have no problem ending things after many years when things get stale and they are ready to ride off into the sunset of no romantic or family obligations. My ex knew he was going to break up with me, but tried to get me to pay for a trip to Hawaii for us and pay off his credit card, several months before he did it. This from a man who never gave me a single dime our entire relationship. I told him no, and that he was basically trying to get to me buy a proposal from him. (The ring was a family ring that he inherited and never paid a dime for.) "Good riddance" is all I think now.
@@Sarah-xw2ff ok. Why are you generalizing all men? I see this all the time. From men and women. You got screwed over by someone that you chose to be in a relationship with and now you rant about how men are evil and only want to take advantage of poor you. STOP IT! Just because YOU can’t find a good man, doesn’t mean they aren’t out there. This is a you problem. Not a man problem. Do better. Be better.
I used to work for a mortgage lender and the amount of couples who were not married buying a home together was INSANE!! In my head I'm screaming, NOOOO!!!
Can I just add I’ve been following all of Ramit’s videos and at this point I think Ramit should start a side hustle and become a relationship therapist 😂 multiple source of income! I came to this channel to find straight up answers to financial problems but the videos has now replaced my daily dose of daily soap dramas😂
This was almost painful to watch. It was so obvious by 20 minutes in that Brad had no interest in marrying her and never would. Not sure how she couldn't see that. I was very happy to see the follow up where Candace said they ended things. Neither is wrong for their feelings just wrong for each other.
I am so proud of Candace! This is such a win for her! Candace I am rooting for you from afar! I am so proud of you! You are amazing and strong for making this decision! Know that someone out there (me) is so proud and amazed by your strength and your self love, I am so happy you chose you!😍😍😍😍😍
This man doesn't want to marry her 😩 She can't/won't see it now but she's a placeholder and he will always have a another excuse to not commit. They should sell the house and go their own way.
They made the right decision. He clearly took advantage of her and did for so long, has a lot of growing up to do. She will be fine, her smile is already coming back in the last clip, happy for her.
The last few episodes have been HORRIBLE for the women. There's so much to be said about community, accountability and fellowship for both the men and women. There seems to have been a disconnect in values for the couples. I hope they all move forward with stronger inner guidance. These episodes have been so eye-opening for me. All the best to them all x
Great observation, this podcast is holding a mirror to society in more ways than one. How are we raising our sons ? In the end, because of the biological pressure on women , they will likely always be at the losing end of the game.
Traditionally, women were exploited for all the emotional labour and housekeeping. With our ability to earn money now, it seems like a new avenue of exploitation got added to the list. This is why we need feminism, even in the so-called developed western world.
Ooph @TheSharmam, it really is - and you raise a good question. Again, I think that lack of community plays its part - there's no village raising a child and within the families, what boundaries are being taught to sons and daughters?
@@TheSharmam As a man in my early 30s I went to high school with the generation of men that were in the last few episodes, and I know for a fact most of them don't want to get married, don't respect the institute of marriage, and a lot of them will get into their 30s (like me) and realize they don't want to get married and actually want to further their careers and money and maybe think about marriage way in the future or just never get married and just have a live-in girlfriend forever. And I am a Christian traditional man that was raised in a traditional Christian household.. now try a guy that's not religious and wasn't raised traditionally.. its likely even further from a desire for marriage in 20s- early 30s ! Worse yet, some of them think they want that in the 20s and realize later in their 30s they don't and were just doing what people told them, which is what happened to Brad (giving him the benefit of the doubt, or he could have just been stringing her along for monetary support and sex until he finished school so he could dump her for a younger woman).
I definitely saw this coming. I’m glad Candice came to this realization. Maybe Brad will figure it out after she’s gone, maybe not, but this is definitely best, no one should feel forced into a marriage they aren’t completely wanting.
@@sarahjaynescott545 I do agree with you, but the onus was on Candace to read the writing on the wall. She chose to play along with Brad instead of taking the initiative herself on her life goals.
. He did waste her years, but after 3 years with no ring she should have bailed. No one forced her to stay...she believed his promises for far too long.
@@sarahjaynescott545 at 32 she is still well within her fertile years. I wish she would have left him earlier, but at this stage of her life she can thankfully still have a family of her own if she wants to.
@@malikastone No shes not.Age 35 is considered geriatric pregnancy. A womans most fertile years are 15-25. Her fertility has already been going down for at least 3 years. She has little time left.This is all science.
I knew when she said she wanted to sell the house that she was already out of the relationship. It was the only anchor holding her down into the relationship.
I can’t be the only one who’s thinking the proceeds of the house shouldn’t be split 50/50. Where are the receipts? Whose retirement investments were used for the down payment? Who’s been paying the whole mortgage? My money’s on that being 100% Candace (up until just the last few months where he contributed 25% of the monthly payment). “Brad” covered everything besides the mortgage… maybe so, and maybe he’ll be honest about how much that really was … but I am sure that amount doesn’t compensate for paying 0% of the down payment or mortgage for the last 4-5 years. Be reasonable.
Utilities were $300. What gets them even close to being 50/50 would be groceries. He assures us he's paying $800 a month on groceries for two people. Maybe I just eat like a broke person, but I seriously doubt he's spending that much on food. That gets him to $1100 compared to the $1400 she was spending on the mortgage for the majority of their relationship. Dude made out like a bandit. Every bit of advice Ramit gave was dead on between not buying a house with a boyfriend to not splitting expenses in this way because what's much more likely is he was spending around $400 on groceries, so he was putting in $700 to her $1400 for years. The only way that evened out is if homegirl was eating steak and lobster every night.
I don't know if he's telling the truth about their spend (I assume he is otherwise Candace would have flagged that) but $800 in groceries is not far-fetched. I spent that alone, and am almost doubling that with my partner 😅 (we don't eat out much though, so most meals are usually at home)
@@MissKashira I probably pay $700-800/month on food (1 person). Including groceries, meal prep delivery (not every week), and occasional (very rare) eating out/doordash. Food inflation is no joke. If I were living paycheck-to-paycheck, I could get it down a bit, but I'd find feeding 2 people for $800/month very difficult these days.
This man has kept her for soooo long without having any interest in her. He is a coward for just not breaking up with her when he know he would never marry her or have children with her. She is just supposed to pay for his studies and 75% of mortgages. She let him waste 5 year of her life and use her financially, mess up with her feelings, etc.
And yet after all of that, she spoke graciously at the end and intends on splitting the earnings 50/50! She is a quality woman and deserves to find happiness with a man who would be happy to marry her.
I'm so glad Candace finally woke up. Just in my own circle of friends and family, I've known several women who have been strung along for YEARS by men who were waiting for some nebulous feeling of "readiness" to come before finally committing to marriage. Most of the time, the reason the guy (and it's almost always the guy) never feels "ready" is that he hasn't met his wife yet. Prediction: Brad will likely be walking down the aisle with someone else within the next two years. I've seen it happen many times. In fairness to the men in these scenarios, I don't think most of them are being purposely deceitful. For whatever reason, they just cannot admit to themselves that this woman is not "the one" and they need to let her go so they can both move on to something better. Or perhaps they're just letting themselves get carried along by inertia; it's just easier to stay in the relationship than to face reality.
You're giving us too much credit. I'm a 32 year old man, I would know if the woman I'm with is one I want to marry within 1 maybe 2 years maximum. If a guy doesn't know he wants to get married to you after 3+ years he doesn't love you, you're just benefitting him somehow in that moment in his life and its a transactional relationship.
@@MetalSlimeDrummer, Oh, I am absolutely and deliberately giving the men the benefit of the doubt, because I don't want to assume the intentions of any individual. As a society, we need to encourage both men and women to be honest with each other about what they do and don't want in a relationship. A lot of heartache would be avoided on both sides.
Good for Candace. Throughout the whole episode I was hoping eventually she'd realize she gave up too much to fund him, and that he had no intention of committing to her at all, in the way she wanted. Finally, she has control of her life, and her future looks bright. She's smart and organized, so really, with this huge lesson learned (ie: "if he really wanted to, he would...") there's no stopping her now from pursuing the great live she deserves!
He wants to marry a rich women. I got the sense that he is not very capable/bright and he wants a women who can help him to get ahead. That's why he has no problem taking all the benefits of a marriage and doesn't want to make commitment. Candace, you did the right thing breaking up with him. Proud of you and I have faith that you will do so much better.
This reminds me of a friend of mine who has been with her boyfriend for over 10 years and desperately wants to get married. She asks, "Why hasn't he saved up for a ring or proposed? If it was important to him, he would." There's your answer. Just like when Candace said he spent money on golf clubs but not a ring. Watch people's actions. It's clear to see what is important to people and what they think is worth spending money on.
That’s not even considering that this guy has all the extra money because he’s paying less of his income on there fixed cost. He’s splitting with her 50/50 while he’s making almost twice as much.
I am SO happy they broke up. It was very obvious that he did not want to marry her. When men truly want to marry you, they won’t wait. They’ll want to solidify that as soon as possible! It doesn’t take 5 years, men know very quickly if you’re the one. Let this be a lesson to women. 1. Do not build with a man - if you’re looking to be married/start a family, only date men who are at the financial level that you want to live your life at. Don’t pay for their education, their debt, buy a house with them, none of it. Don’t “wait it out” for them to make more money thinking you’ll finally be rewarded at the end because generally once they’re where they want to be financially, they’ll leave and find the girl they feel like they deserve. The one who only knew them when they were up. The one that makes them feel masculine. 2. Men will waste your time as long as you let them. Do not let a man string you along for years. If you want to be married, give him 18 months MAX to propose to you. Don’t try to convince him or force him or bargain with him. If he wants to marry you, he’ll propose. Don’t beg. Don’t waste you time, your beauty, your YOUTH. Please. 😅
This is exactly what women shouldn't do. Play wife without that title. No no ladies. He's benefitting from this relationship more than her. He doesn't want to rent because he would have to pay more. Candice cut your losses he's keeping you around until someone better comes along. 5 years too long . Don't waste anymore time. 9
He went several years without having to pay *anything* on the mortgage and got half the equity. Please listen to Ramit and don't buy a house with someone you aren't married to.
Exactly! People think it’s puritanical and religious to wait until marriage to move in. However it actually benefits and protects women greatly! If you play wife before his commitment he has no need to get serious.
Exactly. He just keeps his options open while having all the benefits of the married man and not contributing to the equity he is just about to get. So smart, lol!
I was thinking to myself that when they sell the house, they will break up. I didn't expect that ending so soon, though. You can't force people into marriage, and she has a right to make the decision she did. I think in the long run, it will work out better for the both of them.
While I’m sure it’s so hard to break up after 5 years, the only thing worse would’ve been staying 5 years and a day. I’m relieved she realized that he just wasn’t in it, and I hope she finds the happiness she deserves. I hope he does too, but I do hope he can be learn to be honest in the future as well.
To each their own but I can't fathom dating for 5 years if marriage (and kids) is the ultimate goal. Either the person checks enough boxes, you commit and build a life together or they don't and you move on. I wish them both the best.
yup!! husband and i got engaged after 3 married after 2. we both wanted to marry within the first year and knew it was right at year 3. shouldn't take long!!
Aha - Candace doesn't want a life like her parents (wife takes care of everything) and Brad does want a life like his parents (wife takes care of everything)!
he actually DOESN'T want a life like that, and that might be why he isn't marrying Candace, because she WAS taking care of everything instead of letting go and letting him take care of things. Even though she SAID she wanted him to, she wasn't demonstrating that by releasing the control to him and letting him step up and do it.
@@jefdby Exactly! But that was not highlighted, she was let off the hook for her horrible decision making skills. Why invest in a new house to take a job that makes less?
Dump this guy as this situation is so TOXIC and draining! You are gorgeous, disciplined, and very smart. You can easily find someone who would not be afraid to show up for you, and who would KNOW that they want you.
Women are so vulnerable to the sunk cost fallacy. They stay with men like this because they feel like they’ve “invested” so much into the relationship and they don’t want to admit it is time to leave and start over. Every woman I know who has finally ended this kind of relationship is happier in the end. I hope Candace finds the right man for her.
I am addicted to watching and learning from Remith Sethi. I have learned that life is not just about money, but money affects all areas of life. I really like his mindset on the rich life. Thanks Remith for sharing such educative, informative and entertaining lesson on wealth. Watching from Norway.
I used to think it was a great idea to live together as a couple before getting married. As i'm older now I realize its not a great idea for the vast majority of us. Why? Because when the relationship isn't going the way 1 person wants, they often wait, wait, wait for the other person to change their mind. "oh we'll get engaged next year" or "im not ready to be married yet lets wait until we have more $". Its so hard to extricate yourself from a living together situation. (Buying a house together after 1 year of dating was NOT a smart choice). They seem to be decent, good people, but apparently they've been on different paths for quite some time. Cohabitation likely extended a relationship that was going south for a few years.
She basically prepared him for the next woman he's going to date and he will do all the things she wanted him to do to the next girl, including marriage.
I like having these normal people with normal incomes go on these shows. I’ll probably never make a quarter million a year but I can relate to these people. I wish more participants start coming on that have normal incomes.
She wants a ring and he wants to spend the extra money on golf. 5 years is long enough. He doesn’t want to marry you. 😢 Walk away with respect. Don't give him all the power. The finances are an excuse. Someday? The ring matters to her. Values are different. Move on. He thinks he would be happy? He looks petrified of marriage.
It's not about just "the ring" - it's about a full commitment, not playing house and her wanting next steps. His reluctance is the whole story. He probably does love her but not getting a ring after 5 years while letting her support him while he gets his education and having her contribute a lot to a house sure served him well!!
I would not want a man to propose to me just because it’s what I wanted. That’s not the kind of love one deserves. I would want him to propose because he cannot imagine living the rest of his life without me in it.
The only thing that makes me nervous about no long term commitment in people that do want to get married eventually is that people often break up with their partner of 5+ years and marry the next partner within a year. There’s usually bigger reasons.
@@travelnurseadventures3225 I have heard that statistic many times. And I’m not judging. You want to live together before marriage or never marry, fine. But, at least in the US, the protections aren’t there, for unmarried folks. This guy was in ZERO hurry to marry her or even to commit to marrying her. Just vague statements about it being in his future, not their future. He would have continually moved the bat.
This is exactly why women should never move in with men unless such said man has made a full commitment to her in marriage before the move in. It’s not puritanical, it just works to protect women’s emotional and physical needs and it prevents her from getting used by a man who is getting his cake, AKA sex without the commitment. I hope she learned and she is very clear in her next relationship and sets the boundaries and expectations early on.
Wow, what a quality girl. Live and learn. Brad needs to make sure they split things fairly according to actual contributions and that her contributions were made after his assurances, and the fact he got a trade out of it to go forward. Just because she went ahead without legal protections and isn’t even now pushing for equitable distribution doesn’t mean he doesn’t have moral obligations. Otherwise, he would be unmasked as a user. I support him in doing the right thing by her.
Almost bought a house with my boyfriend of 2 years. I'm happy we didn't because we fell on financial hardship. Now we are happily married, and paying on our debts so we can put a large down payment on a house in many years from now!
I commend Brad and Candace for coming on the podcast. It was brutally honest and raw. Facing real life issues It made me reflect on myself and how I was raised with Money.
0:15: 🏡 The couple bought a house with the expectation of getting married and starting a family, but their plans have been delayed and they are frustrated with the lack of progress. 6:13: 🏠 The speaker initially thought the other person was looking to buy a house independently, but they ended up buying one together. 11:43: 🎧 Babel allows you to listen in on conversations between two people at a beginner level and learn everyday language quickly. 17:44: 💰 The importance of simplicity in managing finances as a couple and the need to regularly review and adjust financial arrangements as circumstances change. 23:56: 💰 Financial security is not determined by the amount of money in your bank account. 29:38: 👫 The speaker feels pressure to get engaged and married because everyone around them has already done so. 36:16: 😔 The speaker is concerned about the possibility of selling their house and splitting up, as it would make it difficult to buy another house in the current expensive market. 42:23: ❗ The Bank of Canada is increasing interest rates, causing housing costs to rise and debt payments to increase. 48:45: 💰 The couple discusses their options for fixing their money problems, including selling their house and renting instead. 54:19: 😔 The couple is facing financial pressure and are unsure if selling their house will solve their problems. 1:00:57: 😔 The speaker is uncomfortable talking about their feelings and finds it difficult to understand why their friends are ready to propose. 1:13:44: 💑 The couple discusses their future and the challenges they face in their relationship. Recap by Tammy AI
Also, marriage is NOT for everyone, so forcing the issue is pointless, at times. With that said, if one or both in the relationship DOES desire marriage as the "end goal," then a plan needs to be made to move towards that. Otherwise, it's time to move on for better suited partners.
We know marriage is not for everyone but we are talking more specifically about cases where a man makes vague promises of wanting to marry "someday" and the woman just hangs on forever until she wakes up or gets dumped.
A very good episode. The couple seem like Canadian Maritimers. I’m glad their house has appreciated so much that they can each fund their new horizons. Sad but necessary for Candace to move on. And gutsy to report that so publicly. I wish them both well.
Well done - a great conversation. I think now Candace has seen his lack of commitment - it can’t be unseen. I’m sure those close to them may have seen this coming. Wishing them both well❤
I don't think the profit from the house should be split 50/50...it should be the percentage they contributed. Buying groceries and paying a utility bill is insignificant in comparison. I hope she has a good lawyer
I appreciate their transparency. For the life of me i cant understand why people invest in someone they're not in a marriage with. I know this happens within marriages as well but I digress. Hate people wasting my time and i sure as heck wont waste mine but he definitely used her for his benefit, and now that he has received what he wanted he's checked out. Wish them all the best
This episode hit me hard today. I am going through the break up of my 4 year relationship. I am also guilty to dragging my feet and not proposing. In the end I am understanding that we were not right for each other. Still is incredibly painful
I too had a man waste 6 years of my life promising me a future of marriage & kids which never happened. Luckily i never provided for him (even though I earned more!) so that was the only silver lining. When it ended at least i never lost out financially.
It struck me as odd that he felt they couldnt get married if they werent financially prepared to have kids. You can most certainly get married and not have kids immediately or ever. Clearly he wasnt ready for marriage with her. Not totally shocked by the ending other than the fact that he himself didnt also mention they broke up.
If I were Candace, I will break up with this guys long time ago. Yes, he keep saying he loves her but not enough to marry her. So sad for a woman to stuck her life with a guys for 5 years. Her window to have kids getting low and low when the time past.
I want to thank both of you for putting yourself out there and giving the rest of us some good examples of how life can be difficult to figure out sometimes. Wishing you both the very best!
This story confirms that deep, self-discovery is an important first step that draws folks to the right partners and friend zones the rest. Neither wanted their parent’s relationship but that’s exactly what they both did. She didn’t want to be the money manager like her mom but is. He didn’t want to be forced to participate in the money decisions but is. They should have friend zoned one another a long time ago. There’s someone for everyone but just not each other.
I'm genuinely happy for both of them. They both get the reset they both deserve. Candace was living on empty promises, hopes and dreams. To Brad's credit, I don't think he ever over sold things to her. He just never had the right words to say I love you but I won't marry you. Ramit helped give them the clarity to see that they want the same things (get out of debt, marriage, kids, etc) but just not with each other. This was a satisfying end to a 5 yr relationship.
I'm sorry but I'm tired of giving men credit for doing nothing. I don't remember being taught how to talk about my feelings If you don't want to marry someone who very clearly tells you that is what they want, then get lost, it is not rocket science. I'm not giving you credit for trying when you wasted 5 years of this women's life because you don't want to take 5 minutes to think about how you feel
@@sourdoughsavant22 I get it. After 5 yrs Brad was happy with the relationship the way it was and he didn't want more. Yet Candace kept settling for less. He said he wanted marriage and a family but never moved in that direction. His actions showed that he wanted her in his present but not in his future. He said he would propose someday and Candace was holding out til... someday. On that time table he can run up the clock for years and still be right. I don't think he intentionally wasted her time. He fell in love with a girl that's not his Wife. He knew that deep down inside. I give him credit for not being pressured into proposing because of social standards. Now they can go to find love that meets their needs. Brad's emotional awaking is going to benefit the next girl.
I'm pleasantly surprised that Candace decided to leave her partner behind and move on. Brabd is very comfortable with the things the way they are, so there is no reason for him to comit. This "some day" will never happen and he knows that very well. I'm glad, that Cnadace now knows it too.
0:00 Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
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Ramit, what you have zero clue on is the following. A. Real Estate in Canada was 100 perent the best decision this couple made as they profit over 200k with a simple investment of probably 20k (their saved money, and investment). That is like a 1000 percent roi in probably less than 3 years, if they went ot a financial advisor he would have given them 6% per annum and their 20k would be like 23k at best right now and they would have a NEGATIVE net worth right now, so please cut the crap. B. Due to the insane government policies in the country and pure manipulation of housing prices via investment capital poured in from abroad (immigration policy), if their home is in BC or the GTA, (I speak from experience and evidence) could go from 450k to 1,200,00 in as little as 3 years. basically an additional 800,000 of tax free capital gains that would take them 50 years of working and saving and investing to get to. Renting saving and investing with their income for the next 50 years will not net them 800,000 in gains. Seen way too many ppl sell their homes and do this and go borderline insane.... BC ONtario and a few other nations in the world are insane that way as it pertains real estate. Have had family members sell their homes for 600k, and 5 years later all of a sudden the home is worth 2 million dollars and if they work for the next 100 years and save they will not be able to re purchase their old home or make a capital gain of 1.4 million....Seen waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to much of this crap, in B.C and Ontario. I have also known people who purchased a home in B.C for 1 million and in 5 years and a coat of paint from home dump, re sell it for 4.5 million with a straight face. And our lying disgusitng deceptive media yapps the Canadian economy is hot...Meanwhile 100s of billions of dollars are being imported from Asia and poured into real estate causing it to go to 4.5...Canada is not at all like the US. Even During the 2008 housing crisis, when homes in Beverly Hills that sold for 2 mil, were foreclosed and listed for 800k and not selling, Vancouver home prices were increasing! I am not kidding u and u can easily verify what i have stated. I also think u had a couple from Ontario who claimed to have a net worth of 1.2 m, all of that was from capital gains from a purchase of home in Ontario in a period of no more than 5 years, they paid like 350k and the house is now worth 1.2 million, they did not work harder or smarter than anyone else, they just bought real estate 5 years ago in Ontario and people with PRs, Visas and dual citizens poured 100s of billions of dollars from asia and middle east into real estate in bc and ontario and made them rich. Everyone in Canada, who is slightly sharper than a bowling ball, has clued in on this by now!
Home values WILL NOT GO UP indefinitely!
When the rates 'adjust' to a point when everyone is backing out of their mortgages and all dump their homes on the market at the same time, values will tank rapidly and many people will be 'underwater' on their homes and unable to sell without ponying up a lot of extra money!
For a refresher, revisit 2007 and 2008!
It is NOT DIFFERENT THIS TIME and the old rules DO STILL APPLY!
Save up ahead of time making the same savings deposits as the PITI costs will be on the home you want and pay all or almost all for a property IN CASH!
If you can't 'afford this kind of savings. YOU CAN'T AFFORD THE HOME!
(we are 1st generation US, but own an old inherited home in Nova Scotia- love it!)
@@yourmainfulRamit isn’t against house buying he’s against house buying without considering all the hidden costs. The only reason these two lucked out was because they chose to sell at this time as was evident from the episode if they had waited much longer thier cost of living would have been through the roof and they’d have been broke possibly racking up debt to hold on to this house meaning in a few years it could’ve have been a different outcome. I don’t ever hear Ramit say don’t buy a house I hear home say no the real numbers and make sure you can afford it before you rush into it. Of course there will be different countries and states where property makes more sense as an investment but know the numbers. Be educated about it and look at the long term picture. These two certainly didn’t do that they rushed in on other peoples opinions and got themselves stuck luckily financially it worked out I’d imagine if the house wasn’t there though that she would have comes to her end conclusion sooner and been able to walk away sooner. It’s not always about the money she wants a family and the house and his refusal to be honest about where he’s at has put her life back 5 years I’ve been there and I’m now in a situation where I’ve not been able to have the family I so wanted it’s not always about profit and loss
I would like to be on your podcast. I’m a fetish producer and model and I need help
@@yourmainfulthey bought a house at a good year. They didn’t buy at a good time in their relationship or with their finances. They were house poor and put much more than 20k toward the house over 2 years. Did you factor in the down payment, the property taxes, the HOA fees, the maintenance and moving costs or the realtor fees?
Plus you typically don’t have a good idea if you did or didn’t buy a home at a good year at the time when you make the purchase.
It’s like knowing whether or not you made a good stock investment at the time that the money was invested. It all only becomes clear after the fact. Even though when it goes well it seems obvious that you made a good decision when you bought. In reality it feels about the same when you time it right or not. You feel cautiously optimistic each time.
Brad will be married to the next woman he dates and they’ll have babies soon after. This is a tale as old as time. He just didn’t want to marry her. But she’ll find someone who does and get what she deserves. Best to both of them!
True Story: Cousin lived with a woman for eight years, she got pregnant, asked him to marry her twice, he said no. 2 years later Cousin proposed and married the next chick. Men really do this lol
Even worse, my ex married the girl he'd known for 2 months, 9ish months after we broke up, dude couldn't even wait till the next calander year. But tbf I was the one who said I don't see a long-term future.
why do men do that??? (stay with someone they don't want to marry, then marry right away the next one they date?)
@@jefdbyget what u can and then upgrade is the mentality ig
@@jefdbycuz they needed a mom to do the cooking, the cleaning, the comforting, reassurance and affection. So while waiting for the one to show up they just jump into the comfort zone with whoever comes by.
He used her to stabilize his career. Now that he earns more, he feels he can do better. Candace, your past job might have been draining you but you live with an energy drainer who is nonchalant. Choose you, heal from the breakup & go apply for even better job. I hope God gives you the man you deserve.
She's about to find out her $44k job is sufficient for her needs without a man draining her resources.
Agreed. It definitely sounds like she was a come up chick 😢
She definitely was, but I don’t think it is completely fair to blame the guy here. She also needs to take accountability for being the volunteer caregiver in this relationship for so long. Too many women opt for the this and then cry when they are left holding the bag. I’m sorry, wise up to how a lot of men move so you don’t become the come up chick.
This he used her to pay his bills and his mom was in on it 🚩🚩🚩🚩
I doubt it, that is something a woman would do, not a man. He does not like her enough to marry her, simple as that.
Lessons learned: 1) Never buy a house with a man if you’re not married 2) never pay for a man’s education unless you’re married 3) never contribute more to the household unless you’re married.
how does being married change things though?
@@ideewhyRamit explains this
Accurate!
@@ideewhy Because when you divorce, lawyers have to go over what you put into the marriage and split it equitably. But homeboy just got half the equity on a home that she solely paid the mortgage on for 4 years straight because his name was on it.
Why do you think this dude was having panic attacks at the idea of marrying this woman? If it didn't give her a bunch of legal protections, he would have just done it.
Don’t do wife’s work on girlfriend’s salary hahaha 😂
Girl that silence WAS SO LOUD!! I thought I had lost internet connection. It’s quite obvious to the viewers, I wish her luck and most importantly a peace of mind!
oof i was outside watering my plants w my earbud in and thought also that my phone had cut off. silence for that long was BRUTAL. glad to hear in the update that they sold + went their separate ways
@veri.contrary same I had my earbud in and thought it died! Wow..
@@veri.contrary spoiler alert lol
I was having a shower and thought my phone died 😂😂😂
I was at the gym and thought my battery died.
His silence, and resistance to answering questions was because he didn't want to say what he really felt. He knows he was never going to marry her. She was comfortable and reliable.
What I picked up on was the fact that he said, “I want to get married and I want to have kids” but didn’t specify that he wanted those things WITH HER 😢 Wishing them all the best as they move forward ❤
That's EXACTLY what I was thinking too!
yep, i noticed that too!
OMG same!!
Sadly, she's a placeholder. She deserves better.
Ding ding ding JACKPOT 🎉 Every time he said it I replied “but do you want that with HER?” Glad she saw what was happening and put an end to it.
Candace finally had the clarity she was looking for all along. It wasn't hard to see how he didn't have marriage in mind when Ramit asked what he would do with 100k and he immediately said "trips and golf." She was just too good for him. I wish her the best of luck.
the clarity was there all along (before they came on the show). She just finally had the courage to do something about it.
While she did make a mistake in deciding to buy a house (I don't think he wanted to and I bet he didn't put down $ for it), she did a phenomenal job of not getting pregnant by him. Houses can be sold, but splitting up when you have a child together without being married is a whole different ball of wax. She saw the light and allowed us to learn from her. Great job in teasing the truth out of this couple, Ramit!!
Absolutely the fact that she didn't get pregnant is definitely a win for her!😊
Pullout game strong
He didn’t want a child with her so he made sure he handles that part right/
This was my story with my ex. We had our offer accepted to purchase a condo, and at the last minute I trusted my intuition and backed out. When we hit our 5 year mark, he told me he no longer wanted to get married and have children. Those two topics were my deal breakers, throughout our relationship he would tell me that was his vision for us too. I was blindsided and devastated. He told me that I deserved the life that he wasn’t ready to commit too. I will never speak negatively of him, he was brutally honest. Fast forward, I’ve been married for 12 years and I have the family and children I always envisioned for myself. Know your worth because life does move on.
Glad you got your happy ending. Women should not wait 5 years for a ring.
Know your worth. Yes ✨
My fiance told me he wanted to marry me after just under a year. Waiting 5 years means the guy is not serious about you.
I waited 9 years and finally ended up leaving. In a happier place now and am with someone who isn’t wishy washy.
@@deirdrekiely6187 whats a good range in months? 1-3 years, i seen people get married in 6 month? I am confused
Proud of you Candace, I know it wasn’t easy decision. But as you have said you are not walking away empty handed. And you can build your life with someone with whom you share the same core values.
I was cheering a bit for her. I don’t think he was ever going to propose to her. He could be just one of those commitment avoidant guys who never marries or she just wasn’t the one. He should have let her go a long time ago if that’s how he felt - not strong her along
@@pookie1960 he liked having the house (that she paid most of it on) so he wasn't going to change anything... sad...
@@pookie1960thought the same the whole time. Happy to hear she s taking her chances. Best wishes for the future 🍀✊️
@@pookie1960Or he could be the type of guy who keeps waiting for the woman that he thinks will be better than the one he's with and just settles for the time being but ultimately ends up alone because no one is ever good enough. Candace did the right thing and Im sure I speak for many when I say we are rooting for her! Best of luck Candace! You deserve better!!
Agreed!
I found it interesting how Brad answered Ramit's question about what it would mean to have a family. He answered in singular form with, "I think I would be a great dad. I think I would be happy." There was no mention of partnership, how "WE" would be happy together, how "OUR" kids would bring us joy, etc.
He wants to have a family one day... just not with her. The answer with the "more trips & golf" when they profited $100k each from the house also was a telltale sign.
Such good points! It is always telling when a man doesn't include you in his future
I agree 100%. When that part happened, it honestly couldn’t have been any clearer. She kept talking about setting aside money for a wedding he never mentioned the word once. The relationship turned out to be a great financial investment based on the proceeds of the house. She’s attractive and disciplined and has a lot going for her. She will find the right man for her.
She already knows he doesn’t want her she was hoping he would change
@@paulawhite5699he didn’t bring up marriage because he doesn’t want to marry. And she did because it is important to her. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about her just because he doesn’t want to marry.
Watever, why I would care about this toxic guy. For her span of life he is fucking breaker. Time and monday loss for nothing. He basically stop her from thriving in live. He is toxic as f*. He don't care about her vell being and he knows it,as well as his toxic mummy.
1. Sell the house
2. Take the difference and pay off whatever shared debt you have
3. Split whatever is left.
4. Break up.
He doesn’t want to marry her. It’s been 5 years, and they could go to the courthouse. He doesn’t want to marry her. The house trouble is a blessing in disguise, because this is an out from being tied to such a huge commitment as bf/gf.
ETA: I finished the episode, good for her! I am glad this show was enlightening to her about this relationship.
Good on you girl! You may have invested 5 years of your youth into this man but you are fortunate to leave the situation with plenty of money for fresh start. You are a bright and sweet woman that any man would be lucky to have as a wife. All the best ❤
Agreed!
I understand that some may not be used to expressing their feelings but Brad said everything when Ramit asked him what he would do with the house proceeds and didn't mention anything about marriage or kids, but instead mentioned golf equipment and travel. He's not ready for marriage and that's ok. They had different goals. The follow up was inevitable.
I picked up on that as well😬
Sadly not inevitable, many people stay in these types of relationships for many years and only when they're 40 realize they likely missed their chance to have kids with someone they love, instead hoping for years and years that the one they're with will change.
@@sarahjaynescott545 he didn't lie. He's not on Candace's time table. If Candace wanted a marriage and a family, she should have set some time frame. If it has not happened when the time is up, then it's exit stage left for her. As for buying the house, she should have made marriage a requirement even before considering it. This is what can happen if you're playing the hope strategy because you might let down.
He sold her a dream then gave a song and dance. I’m glad they had the wisdom to take the harder path.
@@TC-cd5smIf he's not on her time table and strung her along....he lied by omision. And a lie by omission is still a lie.
That man exploited that woman and wasted her time. She was playing Barbara the builder with a man who is not happy where he is and but loves the access to a roommate with benefits. If you cannot offer what the person wants, please let them go so they can find their happiness.
He probably loved her but took her for granted big time. She waited and waited for him to give her clarity, only to realize she could give herself the clarity she needed. She is strong and capable and she should be proud of herself for taking her life into her own hands. You go, girl.
He was holding her back with co-owning the house. He deep down understood, that without this co-ownership, she is free and he does not want to marry her, but also doesn’t want to free her, until he can find another woman… With the house gone, the relationship is gone.
And the host does not understand relationships :).
Candace, if you're reading this you've done the right thing !
I can't help but feel that he used her to get ahead and his mom was trying to salvage their relationship, so he could anchor into something it wasn't a waste for her years. That was some wife level commitment. If he knew she wanted kids so bad, why waste that much of her time and rob her of something that would make her happy? There's only so long you can carry kids.
Perhaps, but her communication style makes me feel nervous and I'm not even in a relationship with her.
Yea, him saying that selling the house would mean not able to buy again and he kept saying house, not “home”. He’s seeing the house and numbers, not the home and the symbolism of losing her and what could have been. Seems like he did it as a money move and assumed she’d be happy to play house with him and forget about the ring.
I don’t know that he did that to her consciously… but by refusing to think about the future, he did end up using her.
She was 100% clear about what she wanted from him. The issue from my perspective seems to be they were both lying to themselves. She for thinking he could be the man she wanted him, and he for thinking he wanted to be that kind of man.
P.S. my only issue is the 50-50 split in proceeds. That’s some BS!
@h3llsb3lls612 for 5 years? As a fully formed adult not once did he think wow, living together, schooling for a better job, the time, the attempts of discussions for the future etc might mean something to her? And it's right after he makes more money than he ever thought he would?
Candace’s follow-up video hit the nail on the head. Good lessons are hard-learned. This was indeed the clarity she needed. Actually, clarity they both needed.
He'll be married to someone else in two years with a kid on each hip. I've seen it 1,000 times.
I agree, and fully support Candace’s decision. It’s so hard to acknowledge when a relationship is not what you hoped and needed. Good on you Candace for doing a really hard thing. This is gonna suck short term but it’s a course correction towards your rich life.
Brad, I hope you learn from this too. There’s clearly some feelings preventing you from committing in the way your ex needed and you say you want. Help yourself dude. Find a safe space (group therapy, individual therapy) and develop some emotional communication skills. Maybe you realize you really want marriage and kids, great. Maybe you realize you value other things more. Then you can be a solid partner for someone who shares your values
exactly lol@@JE-pd8fp
@@JE-pd8fpyep! I was gonna say the same.
@@JE-pd8fpand then divorced in four
What?!? Why is she paying the whole mortgage?!?! Tbh he’s using her. I’m actually upset on her behalf. No ring and paying the mortgage. Jesus be a helper for these people 😤
What's crazy is he walked away with half of the earnings when he didn't even put money into the home and was only splitting the mortgage a few months before the break up.
The issue is not about why couples should or shouldn't be married. The point is that they should both want the SAME thing. Either both want a to be married in 2-3 years or they dont. If he or she doesnt want that, IT'S TIME TO GO.
I'm glad that Candace decided to leave. I'm sorry that Brad would not commit after 5 years. My son would not commit after 10 years and then finally asked her. They broke up shortly after. I did warn her that my son was a commitment flob. All I can think of is the wasted time. If a man doesn't commit in 2 years, let him go, you are not the one. Chris
Yes, two years max. Also, don't move in with someone before marriage. Stats show it's less likely to happen.
@@kristinab1078could you share those stats?
If there's one thing I've learned in all my years of dating, it's that men will always tell you exactly what you want to hear to make things work out to their very best benefit. Even if that benefit is an inappropriate kind of arrangement. And they have no problem ending things after many years when things get stale and they are ready to ride off into the sunset of no romantic or family obligations. My ex knew he was going to break up with me, but tried to get me to pay for a trip to Hawaii for us and pay off his credit card, several months before he did it. This from a man who never gave me a single dime our entire relationship. I told him no, and that he was basically trying to get to me buy a proposal from him. (The ring was a family ring that he inherited and never paid a dime for.) "Good riddance" is all I think now.
@@Sarah-xw2ff ok. Why are you generalizing all men? I see this all the time. From men and women. You got screwed over by someone that you chose to be in a relationship with and now you rant about how men are evil and only want to take advantage of poor you. STOP IT! Just because YOU can’t find a good man, doesn’t mean they aren’t out there. This is a you problem. Not a man problem. Do better. Be better.
@@Sarah-xw2ffit's good you got out of rhat relationship. That guy sounds like trash.
I used to work for a mortgage lender and the amount of couples who were not married buying a home together was INSANE!! In my head I'm screaming, NOOOO!!!
Can I just add I’ve been following all of Ramit’s videos and at this point I think Ramit should start a side hustle and become a relationship therapist 😂 multiple source of income! I came to this channel to find straight up answers to financial problems but the videos has now replaced my daily dose of daily soap dramas😂
He'd be great at it.
He knows how to work the psychology but he needs a degree in this unfortunately
He is kinda doing it for free 😂
This was almost painful to watch. It was so obvious by 20 minutes in that Brad had no interest in marrying her and never would. Not sure how she couldn't see that. I was very happy to see the follow up where Candace said they ended things. Neither is wrong for their feelings just wrong for each other.
Sometimes when you're in it, you cannot see the wood for the trees. I've been there (minus the house buying!).
I feel like deep down, she knew. I think she just wanted him to say it out loud.
Maybe it’s because I’m older, but I could tell 25 seconds in that these people were doomed as a couple. And I didn’t need to hear him speak a word.
I am so proud of Candace! This is such a win for her! Candace I am rooting for you from afar! I am so proud of you! You are amazing and strong for making this decision! Know that someone out there (me) is so proud and amazed by your strength and your self love, I am so happy you chose you!😍😍😍😍😍
This man doesn't want to marry her 😩 She can't/won't see it now but she's a placeholder and he will always have a another excuse to not commit. They should sell the house and go their own way.
They did
Agreed
you didn't watch the followup videos. That's exactly what they did.
@@jumper9108 , they didn't get married. If you watch until the end, you'll see that they decided to break up.
@@jumper9108did you even watch the episode 🤫🫡
She is so spot on to break up with him. Choose a man who can give you clarity and ACTION. Good job Candance!🎉
She just needed help getting Mr Action going on selling the house.
They made the right decision. He clearly took advantage of her and did for so long, has a lot of growing up to do. She will be fine, her smile is already coming back in the last clip, happy for her.
The last few episodes have been HORRIBLE for the women. There's so much to be said about community, accountability and fellowship for both the men and women. There seems to have been a disconnect in values for the couples. I hope they all move forward with stronger inner guidance. These episodes have been so eye-opening for me. All the best to them all x
Great observation, this podcast is holding a mirror to society in more ways than one. How are we raising our sons ? In the end, because of the biological pressure on women , they will likely always be at the losing end of the game.
Traditionally, women were exploited for all the emotional labour and housekeeping. With our ability to earn money now, it seems like a new avenue of exploitation got added to the list. This is why we need feminism, even in the so-called developed western world.
Ooph @TheSharmam, it really is - and you raise a good question. Again, I think that lack of community plays its part - there's no village raising a child and within the families, what boundaries are being taught to sons and daughters?
@@TheSharmam As a man in my early 30s I went to high school with the generation of men that were in the last few episodes, and I know for a fact most of them don't want to get married, don't respect the institute of marriage, and a lot of them will get into their 30s (like me) and realize they don't want to get married and actually want to further their careers and money and maybe think about marriage way in the future or just never get married and just have a live-in girlfriend forever. And I am a Christian traditional man that was raised in a traditional Christian household.. now try a guy that's not religious and wasn't raised traditionally.. its likely even further from a desire for marriage in 20s- early 30s ! Worse yet, some of them think they want that in the 20s and realize later in their 30s they don't and were just doing what people told them, which is what happened to Brad (giving him the benefit of the doubt, or he could have just been stringing her along for monetary support and sex until he finished school so he could dump her for a younger woman).
@ryan_drums I think this is an honest observation though unpopular, you're being blant
when he took soooooo long to answer how it felt that she wanted to know where they're going...EXCRUCIATING
Cause he knew they weren’t going forward at all
I definitely saw this coming. I’m glad Candice came to this realization. Maybe Brad will figure it out after she’s gone, maybe not, but this is definitely best, no one should feel forced into a marriage they aren’t completely wanting.
@@sarahjaynescott545 I do agree with you, but the onus was on Candace to read the writing on the wall. She chose to play along with Brad instead of taking the initiative herself on her life goals.
@@sarahjaynescott545 she could have left him at any point.
. He did waste her years, but after 3 years with no ring she should have bailed. No one forced her to stay...she believed his promises for far too long.
@@sarahjaynescott545 at 32 she is still well within her fertile years. I wish she would have left him earlier, but at this stage of her life she can thankfully still have a family of her own if she wants to.
@@malikastone No shes not.Age 35 is considered geriatric pregnancy. A womans most fertile years are 15-25. Her fertility has already been going down for at least 3 years. She has little time left.This is all science.
I knew when she said she wanted to sell the house that she was already out of the relationship. It was the only anchor holding her down into the relationship.
Solid play coming on the show so someone could explain to "Brad" that it made no sense to keep it with the payment increase.
I can’t be the only one who’s thinking the proceeds of the house shouldn’t be split 50/50. Where are the receipts? Whose retirement investments were used for the down payment? Who’s been paying the whole mortgage? My money’s on that being 100% Candace (up until just the last few months where he contributed 25% of the monthly payment). “Brad” covered everything besides the mortgage… maybe so, and maybe he’ll be honest about how much that really was … but I am sure that amount doesn’t compensate for paying 0% of the down payment or mortgage for the last 4-5 years. Be reasonable.
Utilities were $300. What gets them even close to being 50/50 would be groceries. He assures us he's paying $800 a month on groceries for two people. Maybe I just eat like a broke person, but I seriously doubt he's spending that much on food. That gets him to $1100 compared to the $1400 she was spending on the mortgage for the majority of their relationship. Dude made out like a bandit. Every bit of advice Ramit gave was dead on between not buying a house with a boyfriend to not splitting expenses in this way because what's much more likely is he was spending around $400 on groceries, so he was putting in $700 to her $1400 for years. The only way that evened out is if homegirl was eating steak and lobster every night.
@@MissKashirain Canada right now (they’re Canadian), unfortunately $800 for two people is not that crazy
I don't know if he's telling the truth about their spend (I assume he is otherwise Candace would have flagged that) but $800 in groceries is not far-fetched. I spent that alone, and am almost doubling that with my partner 😅 (we don't eat out much though, so most meals are usually at home)
@@verb0ze Fair enough. There was a chance I just eat like a poor person.
@@MissKashira I probably pay $700-800/month on food (1 person). Including groceries, meal prep delivery (not every week), and occasional (very rare) eating out/doordash. Food inflation is no joke. If I were living paycheck-to-paycheck, I could get it down a bit, but I'd find feeding 2 people for $800/month very difficult these days.
This man has kept her for soooo long without having any interest in her. He is a coward for just not breaking up with her when he know he would never marry her or have children with her. She is just supposed to pay for his studies and 75% of mortgages. She let him waste 5 year of her life and use her financially, mess up with her feelings, etc.
And yet after all of that, she spoke graciously at the end and intends on splitting the earnings 50/50! She is a quality woman and deserves to find happiness with a man who would be happy to marry her.
she will learn from 1:06:00 her mistakes and get an upgrade boyfriend next time.
I'm so glad Candace finally woke up. Just in my own circle of friends and family, I've known several women who have been strung along for YEARS by men who were waiting for some nebulous feeling of "readiness" to come before finally committing to marriage. Most of the time, the reason the guy (and it's almost always the guy) never feels "ready" is that he hasn't met his wife yet. Prediction: Brad will likely be walking down the aisle with someone else within the next two years. I've seen it happen many times. In fairness to the men in these scenarios, I don't think most of them are being purposely deceitful. For whatever reason, they just cannot admit to themselves that this woman is not "the one" and they need to let her go so they can both move on to something better. Or perhaps they're just letting themselves get carried along by inertia; it's just easier to stay in the relationship than to face reality.
I haven’t finished yet but I’m most of those cases they seem them as a mom. The nurturing, caring, helping him out and so forth before marriage.
I 1000000% agree! Seen it happen too often. So sad but so true.
reason is: Brad will find a woman that will not tolerate crap and will not live out of wedlock
You're giving us too much credit. I'm a 32 year old man, I would know if the woman I'm with is one I want to marry within 1 maybe 2 years maximum. If a guy doesn't know he wants to get married to you after 3+ years he doesn't love you, you're just benefitting him somehow in that moment in his life and its a transactional relationship.
@@MetalSlimeDrummer, Oh, I am absolutely and deliberately giving the men the benefit of the doubt, because I don't want to assume the intentions of any individual. As a society, we need to encourage both men and women to be honest with each other about what they do and don't want in a relationship. A lot of heartache would be avoided on both sides.
Bought a house and put him through school…. Honey your a stepping stone
Women do this all the time.
She says save for a wedding he says golf. That poor girl lol.
she can save for her wedding to the next guy.
His answer was horrible
You’re right girl, if he wanted to get married there would be a ring on your finger! Now or long ago. Take care. You’re strong and smart!
Good for Candace. Throughout the whole episode I was hoping eventually she'd realize she gave up too much to fund him, and that he had no intention of committing to her at all, in the way she wanted. Finally, she has control of her life, and her future looks bright. She's smart and organized, so really, with this huge lesson learned (ie: "if he really wanted to, he would...") there's no stopping her now from pursuing the great live she deserves!
wtf this was not a show about Candace!
@@yourmainful Who said it was??? Mind your manners and stop trolling each comment on this thread.
He wants to marry a rich women. I got the sense that he is not very capable/bright and he wants a women who can help him to get ahead. That's why he has no problem taking all the benefits of a marriage and doesn't want to make commitment. Candace, you did the right thing breaking up with him. Proud of you and I have faith that you will do so much better.
This reminds me of a friend of mine who has been with her boyfriend for over 10 years and desperately wants to get married. She asks, "Why hasn't he saved up for a ring or proposed? If it was important to him, he would." There's your answer. Just like when Candace said he spent money on golf clubs but not a ring. Watch people's actions. It's clear to see what is important to people and what they think is worth spending money on.
That’s not even considering that this guy has all the extra money because he’s paying less of his income on there fixed cost. He’s splitting with her 50/50 while he’s making almost twice as much.
I am SO happy they broke up. It was very obvious that he did not want to marry her. When men truly want to marry you, they won’t wait. They’ll want to solidify that as soon as possible! It doesn’t take 5 years, men know very quickly if you’re the one. Let this be a lesson to women.
1. Do not build with a man - if you’re looking to be married/start a family, only date men who are at the financial level that you want to live your life at. Don’t pay for their education, their debt, buy a house with them, none of it. Don’t “wait it out” for them to make more money thinking you’ll finally be rewarded at the end because generally once they’re where they want to be financially, they’ll leave and find the girl they feel like they deserve. The one who only knew them when they were up. The one that makes them feel masculine.
2. Men will waste your time as long as you let them. Do not let a man string you along for years. If you want to be married, give him 18 months MAX to propose to you. Don’t try to convince him or force him or bargain with him. If he wants to marry you, he’ll propose. Don’t beg.
Don’t waste you time, your beauty, your YOUTH. Please. 😅
Bingo!!
Exactly
100%. These are prime years that she's just giving away to a man who doesn't truly value her.
agreed
Brad is in his soft guy era DRIZZLE DRIZZLE
This is exactly what women shouldn't do. Play wife without that title. No no ladies. He's benefitting from this relationship more than her. He doesn't want to rent because he would have to pay more. Candice cut your losses he's keeping you around until someone better comes along. 5 years too long . Don't waste anymore time. 9
1000+
This is a really good way to put it. And completely accurate.
He went several years without having to pay *anything* on the mortgage and got half the equity. Please listen to Ramit and don't buy a house with someone you aren't married to.
Exactly! People think it’s puritanical and religious to wait until marriage to move in. However it actually benefits and protects women greatly! If you play wife before his commitment he has no need to get serious.
Exactly. He just keeps his options open while having all the benefits of the married man and not contributing to the equity he is just about to get. So smart, lol!
I was thinking to myself that when they sell the house, they will break up. I didn't expect that ending so soon, though. You can't force people into marriage, and she has a right to make the decision she did. I think in the long run, it will work out better for the both of them.
This is why you decenter men. A long time ago, this relationship should have ended. I am glad Candice got her peace back.
I'm wishing Candace the best as she moves forward. She's an amazing person
I’m happy they split up. The Lady talked of Marriage & children and he talked of playing extra Golf.
While I’m sure it’s so hard to break up after 5 years, the only thing worse would’ve been staying 5 years and a day. I’m relieved she realized that he just wasn’t in it, and I hope she finds the happiness she deserves. I hope he does too, but I do hope he can be learn to be honest in the future as well.
To each their own but I can't fathom dating for 5 years if marriage (and kids) is the ultimate goal. Either the person checks enough boxes, you commit and build a life together or they don't and you move on.
I wish them both the best.
💯
yup!! husband and i got engaged after 3 married after 2. we both wanted to marry within the first year and knew it was right at year 3. shouldn't take long!!
Thanks to Candace and Brad for their brave vulnerability. Wishing happiness to both of them on their next steps forward.
Aha - Candace doesn't want a life like her parents (wife takes care of everything) and Brad does want a life like his parents (wife takes care of everything)!
💯
he actually DOESN'T want a life like that, and that might be why he isn't marrying Candace, because she WAS taking care of everything instead of letting go and letting him take care of things.
Even though she SAID she wanted him to, she wasn't demonstrating that by releasing the control to him and letting him step up and do it.
@@jefdby Exactly! But that was not highlighted, she was let off the hook for her horrible decision making skills. Why invest in a new house to take a job that makes less?
Dump this guy as this situation is so TOXIC and draining! You are gorgeous, disciplined, and very smart. You can easily find someone who would not be afraid to show up for you, and who would KNOW that they want you.
I am so happy she chose herself, he was not ready for marriage with her, good luck !
Women are so vulnerable to the sunk cost fallacy. They stay with men like this because they feel like they’ve “invested” so much into the relationship and they don’t want to admit it is time to leave and start over. Every woman I know who has finally ended this kind of relationship is happier in the end. I hope Candace finds the right man for her.
Yep, 100%, watched so many friends leave guys that wasted their time.
I am addicted to watching and learning from Remith Sethi. I have learned that life is not just about money, but money affects all areas of life. I really like his mindset on the rich life. Thanks Remith for sharing such educative, informative and entertaining lesson on wealth. Watching from Norway.
I used to think it was a great idea to live together as a couple before getting married. As i'm older now I realize its not a great idea for the vast majority of us. Why? Because when the relationship isn't going the way 1 person wants, they often wait, wait, wait for the other person to change their mind. "oh we'll get engaged next year" or "im not ready to be married yet lets wait until we have more $". Its so hard to extricate yourself from a living together situation. (Buying a house together after 1 year of dating was NOT a smart choice). They seem to be decent, good people, but apparently they've been on different paths for quite some time. Cohabitation likely extended a relationship that was going south for a few years.
All good points. At least they made some money!
The best decision was taken. You will get what you want Candace! And in ways you couldn't imagine when you were carrying the extra weight ❤
She basically prepared him for the next woman he's going to date and he will do all the things she wanted him to do to the next girl, including marriage.
So sad but true.😥 This happened to me, but I only stuck around for two years.
Yes true, but his character will remain the same. A total leech 🦥. The next woman will encounter it in another way.
@@MsJ.TeacherToTechYep. You are right. Brad is emotionally vacant. I feel sorry for the woman he ends up with.
Happens all the time
She made the right decision.
I like having these normal people with normal incomes go on these shows. I’ll probably never make a quarter million a year but I can relate to these people. I wish more participants start coming on that have normal incomes.
I agree!!
She wants a ring and he wants to spend the extra money on golf. 5 years is long enough. He doesn’t want to marry you. 😢 Walk away with respect. Don't give him all the power. The finances are an excuse. Someday? The ring matters to her. Values are different. Move on. He thinks he would be happy? He looks petrified of marriage.
It's not about just "the ring" - it's about a full commitment, not playing house and her wanting next steps. His reluctance is the whole story. He probably does love her but not getting a ring after 5 years while letting her support him while he gets his education and having her contribute a lot to a house sure served him well!!
I can’t stop watching your shows. The stories from the brave souls that seek out your guidance brings tears of joy to me. You’re a kind hearted man. ❤
I’m happy for Candice! A big pile of money, and no more baggage with Brad
I would not want a man to propose to me just because it’s what I wanted. That’s not the kind of love one deserves. I would want him to propose because he cannot imagine living the rest of his life without me in it.
She did not want to marry him, she just wants to be married and felt if she waited, he would propose. Men are not as dumb as it is deemed they are.
The only thing that makes me nervous about no long term commitment in people that do want to get married eventually is that people often break up with their partner of 5+ years and marry the next partner within a year. There’s usually bigger reasons.
I find if a man wants to marry you, he doesn't hesitate.
u right, people who live out of wedlock prior to marriage have the highest divorce rates than those who didn't live out of wedlock prior to marriage
@@travelnurseadventures3225 I have heard that statistic many times. And I’m not judging. You want to live together before marriage or never marry, fine. But, at least in the US, the protections aren’t there, for unmarried folks. This guy was in ZERO hurry to marry her or even to commit to marrying her. Just vague statements about it being in his future, not their future. He would have continually moved the bat.
yep, I agree@@pookie1960
Oh, Candace. I'm not even halfway through watching and I'm already praying for you. This is as clear as day, unfortunately.
This is exactly why women should never move in with men unless such said man has made a full commitment to her in marriage before the move in. It’s not puritanical, it just works to protect women’s emotional and physical needs and it prevents her from getting used by a man who is getting his cake, AKA sex without the commitment. I hope she learned and she is very clear in her next relationship and sets the boundaries and expectations early on.
He doesn't want to marry you he just wanted you to buy him a house and support him.
Wow, what a quality girl. Live and learn. Brad needs to make sure they split things fairly according to actual contributions and that her contributions were made after his assurances, and the fact he got a trade out of it to go forward. Just because she went ahead without legal protections and isn’t even now pushing for equitable distribution doesn’t mean he doesn’t have moral obligations. Otherwise, he would be unmasked as a user. I support him in doing the right thing by her.
Almost bought a house with my boyfriend of 2 years. I'm happy we didn't because we fell on financial hardship. Now we are happily married, and paying on our debts so we can put a large down payment on a house in many years from now!
I commend Brad and Candace for coming on the podcast. It was brutally honest and raw. Facing real life issues It made me reflect on myself and how I was raised with Money.
You made the right decision Candance. Congratulation of the new chapter in your life!
He sounds so unsure. Everything ends in a question mark.
God bless them both! Hope it all works out 🫶
0:15: 🏡 The couple bought a house with the expectation of getting married and starting a family, but their plans have been delayed and they are frustrated with the lack of progress.
6:13: 🏠 The speaker initially thought the other person was looking to buy a house independently, but they ended up buying one together.
11:43: 🎧 Babel allows you to listen in on conversations between two people at a beginner level and learn everyday language quickly.
17:44: 💰 The importance of simplicity in managing finances as a couple and the need to regularly review and adjust financial arrangements as circumstances change.
23:56: 💰 Financial security is not determined by the amount of money in your bank account.
29:38: 👫 The speaker feels pressure to get engaged and married because everyone around them has already done so.
36:16: 😔 The speaker is concerned about the possibility of selling their house and splitting up, as it would make it difficult to buy another house in the current expensive market.
42:23: ❗ The Bank of Canada is increasing interest rates, causing housing costs to rise and debt payments to increase.
48:45: 💰 The couple discusses their options for fixing their money problems, including selling their house and renting instead.
54:19: 😔 The couple is facing financial pressure and are unsure if selling their house will solve their problems.
1:00:57: 😔 The speaker is uncomfortable talking about their feelings and finds it difficult to understand why their friends are ready to propose.
1:13:44: 💑 The couple discusses their future and the challenges they face in their relationship.
Recap by Tammy AI
Thank you so much Tammy AI!
Also, marriage is NOT for everyone, so forcing the issue is pointless, at times.
With that said, if one or both in the relationship DOES desire marriage as the "end goal," then a plan needs to be made to move towards that. Otherwise, it's time to move on for better suited partners.
We know marriage is not for everyone but we are talking more specifically about cases where a man makes vague promises of wanting to marry "someday" and the woman just hangs on forever until she wakes up or gets dumped.
Marriage can be legally bad and divorce can ruin your life
A very good episode. The couple seem like Canadian Maritimers. I’m glad their house has appreciated so much that they can each fund their new horizons. Sad but necessary for Candace to move on. And gutsy to report that so publicly. I wish them both well.
Well done - a great conversation. I think now Candace has seen his lack of commitment - it can’t be unseen. I’m sure those close to them may have seen this coming. Wishing them both well❤
I don't think the profit from the house should be split 50/50...it should be the percentage they contributed. Buying groceries and paying a utility bill is insignificant in comparison. I hope she has a good lawyer
I appreciate their transparency. For the life of me i cant understand why people invest in someone they're not in a marriage with. I know this happens within marriages as well but I digress. Hate people wasting my time and i sure as heck wont waste mine but he definitely used her for his benefit, and now that he has received what he wanted he's checked out. Wish them all the best
Sell that house, split the proceeds according to contributions: 80/20%, pay down debt, and go find your person who wants to build with you.
I lived this and got out. Supported the man and when he made more money than me he left. Run girl.
So glad she left him!! Rooting for you Candace!
This episode hit me hard today. I am going through the break up of my 4 year relationship. I am also guilty to dragging my feet and not proposing. In the end I am understanding that we were not right for each other. Still is incredibly painful
You probably knew you weren't right for each other wven before those 4 years you just didn't want to acknowledge it.
How much of your rent did she pay haha
Candace, I think you made the right decision- I wish you both well in each of your new chapters.
I love how Ramit is not a therapist but be providing therapy non the less.
I too had a man waste 6 years of my life promising me a future of marriage & kids which never happened. Luckily i never provided for him (even though I earned more!) so that was the only silver lining. When it ended at least i never lost out financially.
LOL wasted your time? you couldve left at anytime.
Was he perceived to be more attractive than you?
You go girl, don’t waste your time on a man who can’t make decisions
It struck me as odd that he felt they couldnt get married if they werent financially prepared to have kids. You can most certainly get married and not have kids immediately or ever. Clearly he wasnt ready for marriage with her. Not totally shocked by the ending other than the fact that he himself didnt also mention they broke up.
Stop wasting time with other people soulmates just because you don’t want to be alone. Best of luck to everyone ✌🏼
I'm glad she was able to see the light instead of wasting more of her time!!!
If I were Candace, I will break up with this guys long time ago. Yes, he keep saying he loves her but not enough to marry her. So sad for a woman to stuck her life with a guys for 5 years. Her window to have kids getting low and low when the time past.
It was a great follow up in the sense that Candace truly realised her worth.
I wish them both happiness going forward.
I want to thank both of you for putting yourself out there and giving the rest of us some good examples of how life can be difficult to figure out sometimes. Wishing you both the very best!
This story confirms that deep, self-discovery is an important first step that draws folks to the right partners and friend zones the rest. Neither wanted their parent’s relationship but that’s exactly what they both did. She didn’t want to be the money manager like her mom but is. He didn’t want to be forced to participate in the money decisions but is. They should have friend zoned one another a long time ago. There’s someone for everyone but just not each other.
I'm genuinely happy for both of them. They both get the reset they both deserve. Candace was living on empty promises, hopes and dreams. To Brad's credit, I don't think he ever over sold things to her. He just never had the right words to say I love you but I won't marry you. Ramit helped give them the clarity to see that they want the same things (get out of debt, marriage, kids, etc) but just not with each other. This was a satisfying end to a 5 yr relationship.
He basically used her to get ahead.
I'm sorry but I'm tired of giving men credit for doing nothing. I don't remember being taught how to talk about my feelings
If you don't want to marry someone who very clearly tells you that is what they want, then get lost, it is not rocket science. I'm not giving you credit for trying when you wasted 5 years of this women's life because you don't want to take 5 minutes to think about how you feel
@@sourdoughsavant22 I get it. After 5 yrs Brad was happy with the relationship the way it was and he didn't want more. Yet Candace kept settling for less. He said he wanted marriage and a family but never moved in that direction. His actions showed that he wanted her in his present but not in his future. He said he would propose someday and Candace was holding out til... someday. On that time table he can run up the clock for years and still be right. I don't think he intentionally wasted her time. He fell in love with a girl that's not his Wife. He knew that deep down inside. I give him credit for not being pressured into proposing because of social standards. Now they can go to find love that meets their needs. Brad's emotional awaking is going to benefit the next girl.
Never had the words? How about, "I'm sorry, but I don't love you enough to marry you."
I love Ramit!! 💖 Funny yet soooo serious!! You are operating in your gift… Blessings❤
Let this be a lesson to all: if you don't value your time enough not to waste it waiting for a partner to change, so why should you expect them to?
I'm pleasantly surprised that Candace decided to leave her partner behind and move on. Brabd is very comfortable with the things the way they are, so there is no reason for him to comit. This "some day" will never happen and he knows that very well. I'm glad, that Cnadace now knows it too.
So happy for you Candace! Better things are coming your way for sure ❤