As an autistic person - we talk a lot about "masking" in order to blend in. It can be a beneficial skill, but it is also tremendously exhausting and in extreme cases leaves you feeling as though you don't even have an authentic self under the mask. It's about balance and a compromise between being able to do things like have a job, socialize, and survive the grocery store while being true to yourself.
I recently realised this has been my experience. I don't know who I am anymore, because I'm used to masking all the time. Everything became so relative. Now I'm trying to stop pretending and start being true to myself.
Awesome! I join the crowd's standing ovation! 🤩 Lately someone told me 'when you are scared, focus on love'. Same works for self-consciousness: focus on the love, for what you are doing, for your why, for the company you are in, for yourself. There's less space for being afraid or self-conscious when you are busy 'loving your living' 😃
Have you ever seen a cat crashing into something after running or falling down from something? They often look around and if they figure out that you saw their mishap, they act weird and walk weird like "No you saw nothing...there is nothing to see here, I am proud, I am pure elegance, I am mighty.....LOOK AWAY!"😁 - they can kinda get embarrassed .
@@calistafalcontail "No you saw nothing...there is nothing to see here, I am proud, I am pure elegance, I am mighty.....LOOK AWAY!"😁 Exactly cats are always right! :-)
I’ve used a laugh track, applause track, and a spotlight in my last two videos and I felt so weird doing it. Seeing you taking the same approach makes me feel less alone in my weirdness. 😂 Haha thanks. I love it. In regards to other people’s options. As my father in law would say, “fuck em”.
Great video. Being self-conscious is almost a freeze state. It stops one from moving forward and getting on with the business of living life to the full.
We are all light beings, so shine bright like the diamonds we are! People will notice your light, and so what? Be yourself, shine even brighter and give them a show! You never know who you may inspire to be more themselves by just being you! Love the content as always Lefie!!
That was awesome! I love all the different things you have been trying out to grow as a person. I don't feel alone because I do the same. Thank you Lefie!
You are perfect the way you are even when your not being creative yourself is just what you did on this video i haven't been watching your videos alit but over the years you have grown ti be a really inspiration
The thing I've been self-conscious about recently is where I have lunch at work. There's a door at the back of our library that leads to two toilets and a shower room. I decided I wanted a private place to have lunch, so I set up a table and a chair in the shower room. The only thing is, I'm becoming super self-conscious about the people who attend the library seeing me leave the toilet area after 30 mins with an entire backpack with my lunch etc in it. Not to mention that I eat in the dark with only the flashlight on my phone so my iPad screen looks better while I'm watching things - so if I leave while others come out of the toilet, they see me leaving a dark little room with a little table and chair... but that never happens because I listen out to make sure that nobody else is there when I leave to avoid any potential awkward interactions. I can't really tell if there's any problem with all this. If there is, I probably shouldn't care though. Most of my colleagues know and they treat it with a similar kind of "This is probably weird." So we don't openly talk about it either. But I guess at the end of the day, it's just the same old "Who gives a s**t what I do? Even if it is supposedly 'weird', I have the last laugh because I have a nice little cubby hole to eat my lunch every day." ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
*Je ne me soucie jamais du regard des autres sur moi, mon apparence, ma gestuelle, mes débordements de joie ou de tristesse..par contre je me soucie BEAUCOUP de mon regard sur moi et celui-là est très très DUR !* *Continue Lefie je t'aime bien 💖🇫🇷*
I was toxically shamed since my inception - but unfortunately - I didn't know what it was. I'm painfully self-conscious among people, especially when I interact with them. I have social anxiety, and when I'm about to meet some people, I almost faint (it's similar to a panic attack). I can't make eye contact without making me self-conscious and awkward. I would love to be social, but something within doesn't allow me. I struggle with 'what to say' - whatever I say to people feels forced. Excessively forced. Talking on the phone makes me uncomfortable until I ease into it - it takes about thirty minutes (and sometimes one hour) to become comfortable. I don't understand what's wrong with me and how I ended up there. Both of my parents abandoned me. My father was a violent alcoholic (I was harshly beaten by him for no reason), and my mother was anxious and depressed; she was very distant emotionally. Sometimes I feel like giving up - that toxic sense of shame is so powerful and persistent (I can't explain it).
Just had a recording session today for the application I’m making for the Conservatory I want to attend and your video came out at the perfect time. Thank you ❤️ love your content
I love singing, My only problem is I’m very self conscious if im sing by myself infront of people (Edit): I have always tried to fit in not wanting anyone to laugh or think bad about me, This has helped me hearing it from someone else.
Hi Lefie, yes people will look at you because you're an impressive beautiful/blond (same thing to loads of people) woman who is assumed to take a leadership role? Tall people get that a lot, it's kind of human nature to look up to a 'powerhouse'.
Splendid video! 👍 Does anyone know HOW TALL Lefie is??? I've been following a long time, but never before heard that she classifies herself as taller than most women. Thanks! 💗
Don't say sorry (was that your selfconsciousness? 😉) this war is terrible and makes no sense and I am glad to know many Russians feel like you do. It is good to speak out! (though this may feel like the wrong place to do, but there is never a wrong place to speak up against war) Praying for peace, love from the Netherlands.
In other words - how to not give a fuck. That is something to aspire to - it makes life so much easier. But take care to keep the balance! There is not much between being comfortable and being an asshole :D Regarding bend yourself: the important bit is to stay true to yourself and made a deliberate decision to bend. read the room and behave accordingly :)
As an autistic person - we talk a lot about "masking" in order to blend in. It can be a beneficial skill, but it is also tremendously exhausting and in extreme cases leaves you feeling as though you don't even have an authentic self under the mask. It's about balance and a compromise between being able to do things like have a job, socialize, and survive the grocery store while being true to yourself.
I recently realised this has been my experience. I don't know who I am anymore, because I'm used to masking all the time. Everything became so relative. Now I'm trying to stop pretending and start being true to myself.
Awesome! I join the crowd's standing ovation! 🤩 Lately someone told me 'when you are scared, focus on love'. Same works for self-consciousness: focus on the love, for what you are doing, for your why, for the company you are in, for yourself. There's less space for being afraid or self-conscious when you are busy 'loving your living' 😃
Cats are good with the whole self-conscious issue - they are totaly them selves! :-)
Have you ever seen a cat crashing into something after running or falling down from something? They often look around and if they figure out that you saw their mishap, they act weird and walk weird like "No you saw nothing...there is nothing to see here, I am proud, I am pure elegance, I am mighty.....LOOK AWAY!"😁 - they can kinda get embarrassed .
@@calistafalcontail "No you saw nothing...there is nothing to see here, I am proud, I am pure elegance, I am mighty.....LOOK AWAY!"😁
Exactly cats are always right! :-)
Cats seem way more self-conscious to me than dogs... 😄
I’ve used a laugh track, applause track, and a spotlight in my last two videos and I felt so weird doing it. Seeing you taking the same approach makes me feel less alone in my weirdness. 😂 Haha thanks. I love it.
In regards to other people’s options. As my father in law would say, “fuck em”.
Great video. Being self-conscious is almost a freeze state. It stops one from moving forward and getting on with the business of living life to the full.
Your channel is one of my favorites channels on UA-cam! Thanks for being honest and unapologetically you! Our society needs more Lefie's!
Came back to this now in 2023. Just what I needed to hear ❤
it only took me 20 years to think this way. Thanks lefie. love when you post
Always love your ideas - what you say and how you put them "on the stage". The internet is a better place because of you. ❤️
Thank you Lefie! Your videos help me start my day. Please keep doing what you are doing. Bravo! 🕺🏻👍
We are all light beings, so shine bright like the diamonds we are! People will notice your light, and so what? Be yourself, shine even brighter and give them a show! You never know who you may inspire to be more themselves by just being you! Love the content as always Lefie!!
I love the way you filmed this video, the originality is off the charts.
Discomfort either way - you nailed it.
That was awesome! I love all the different things you have been trying out to grow as a person. I don't feel alone because I do the same. Thank you Lefie!
You are perfect the way you are even when your not being creative yourself is just what you did on this video i haven't been watching your videos alit but over the years you have grown ti be a really inspiration
Always a pleasure Lefie. This should help me on my interview today. 😆
Good luck for today 👍
Self consciousness has harmed me so harshly I really feel hurt about it at this point.
The thing I've been self-conscious about recently is where I have lunch at work.
There's a door at the back of our library that leads to two toilets and a shower room. I decided I wanted a private place to have lunch, so I set up a table and a chair in the shower room. The only thing is, I'm becoming super self-conscious about the people who attend the library seeing me leave the toilet area after 30 mins with an entire backpack with my lunch etc in it. Not to mention that I eat in the dark with only the flashlight on my phone so my iPad screen looks better while I'm watching things - so if I leave while others come out of the toilet, they see me leaving a dark little room with a little table and chair... but that never happens because I listen out to make sure that nobody else is there when I leave to avoid any potential awkward interactions.
I can't really tell if there's any problem with all this. If there is, I probably shouldn't care though. Most of my colleagues know and they treat it with a similar kind of "This is probably weird." So we don't openly talk about it either. But I guess at the end of the day, it's just the same old "Who gives a s**t what I do? Even if it is supposedly 'weird', I have the last laugh because I have a nice little cubby hole to eat my lunch every day." ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
*Je ne me soucie jamais du regard des autres sur moi, mon apparence, ma gestuelle, mes débordements de joie ou de tristesse..par contre je me soucie BEAUCOUP de mon regard sur moi et celui-là est très très DUR !*
*Continue Lefie je t'aime bien 💖🇫🇷*
I love your videos. You are awesome!
Holy cow, I really needed to hear this. I have really bad social anxiety about being out in public 😅
This is a great vid. Thank you!
I was toxically shamed since my inception - but unfortunately - I didn't know what it was. I'm painfully self-conscious among people, especially when I interact with them. I have social anxiety, and when I'm about to meet some people, I almost faint (it's similar to a panic attack). I can't make eye contact without making me self-conscious and awkward. I would love to be social, but something within doesn't allow me. I struggle with 'what to say' - whatever I say to people feels forced. Excessively forced. Talking on the phone makes me uncomfortable until I ease into it - it takes about thirty minutes (and sometimes one hour) to become comfortable. I don't understand what's wrong with me and how I ended up there. Both of my parents abandoned me. My father was a violent alcoholic (I was harshly beaten by him for no reason), and my mother was anxious and depressed; she was very distant emotionally. Sometimes I feel like giving up - that toxic sense of shame is so powerful and persistent (I can't explain it).
right when i need it, thanks lefie!
Just had a recording session today for the application I’m making for the Conservatory I want to attend and your video came out at the perfect time. Thank you ❤️ love your content
Best of luck, marianna!
This paired well with my daily stoic reading for today. 💜
Love your work
Lefie giving us the 👌sign the whole time :)
loved this!
Gracias
I would go to see this live! 😁👍👑
Very well said! ☺
Welcome, Lefie
Nice TED Talk 😆👏
hilarious i loved it!!!:)
Ohh this was so good!
😊
Thank you, lefie
Missed your uploads!
Missing you. Hope you're doing great.
I love singing, My only problem is I’m very self conscious if im sing by myself infront of people
(Edit): I have always tried to fit in not wanting anyone to laugh or think bad about me, This has helped me hearing it from someone else.
What a fun video!
Yay! Came back to this video.. Lefie... Where are youuuu how are youuuu
Well, well, look who's inside again! :)
A true masterpiece. 😁
🙏🏻🙏🏻
why no colours?
She's gone. 😢 I hope she is well....
Hi Lefie, yes people will look at you because you're an impressive beautiful/blond (same thing to loads of people) woman who is assumed to take a leadership role? Tall people get that a lot, it's kind of human nature to look up to a 'powerhouse'.
😆
I just saw this post this post movie The Green Ray don't know the person's name but you have resemblance (this is an appreciation -good comment)
Splendid video! 👍
Does anyone know HOW TALL Lefie is??? I've been following a long time, but never before heard that she classifies herself as taller than most women.
Thanks! 💗
☺️
Don't you dare change!
One of my worst foes, thank you.
Nice
Would you consider dating a short guy?
what about a short woguy? oh sorry lefie, this is totally inappropriate. we'd probably make better friends.
🌷🌷😇🌷🌷
This also might help: just live in a country that invades another county for no reason so all you think about is war badumtss🥁 cured
Sorry for that…
Don't say sorry (was that your selfconsciousness? 😉) this war is terrible and makes no sense and I am glad to know many Russians feel like you do. It is good to speak out! (though this may feel like the wrong place to do, but there is never a wrong place to speak up against war) Praying for peace, love from the Netherlands.
@@colette_onb_ond thank you🙏
Are you ever coming back? I guess not!
good
In other words - how to not give a fuck. That is something to aspire to - it makes life so much easier. But take care to keep the balance! There is not much between being comfortable and being an asshole :D
Regarding bend yourself: the important bit is to stay true to yourself and made a deliberate decision to bend. read the room and behave accordingly :)
Is anyone else worried about her?
I hope you will come back in 2024
Of course people look at you. That kinda 💩 happens to beautiful women.
Is it me or I can't like this video ???