Yes, agreed! I am of the opinion that self acceptance is the higher goal in a human life, as opposed to "self improvement." And self-awareness is our tool for that personal discovery. Just this last weekend I hosted my pen pal of 1.5 years. It was our first time ever meeting in person, and over the three days we were together, several times I saw myself reflected in their questions--and sometimes puzzlement--about how I operate in my home. Honestly, I took it personally more often than not and let it color our visit a bit, feeling inferior in several ways in comparison to them. But after dropping them off at the airport and returning home, I cracked open the journal and wrote down my raw take. That gave me a space to see what actually happened, how quickly my inferiority complex turns on when my actions are questioned by someone who is more rational/logical than I am, and it shed light on where I'm at in life (and where I've been). I'm not willing to simply accept that fragility (that came from a bruised ego, i think). But I am willing to accept that I do things in a way that make sense to me, and my ways of existing will not always be understood. As long as I'm not harming another life in the process, I'm ok with that!
I would disagree to the extent that self improvement is worth pursuing in almost any case, but you can obviously pick yourself apart and that is no good.
but then i question whether I've accepted myself or am just being complacent. Am I accepting flaws that are very difficult to change or am I lazy? And the answer is yes, I am too lazy to change, but then I continue to self-loathe. So I guess I'm just a self-indulging POS. I don't want to be. I frustrate myself so much.
This is such a golden nugget. Self-Love is the highest teaching. Love is the realization that there is no difference between anything... it is all good. We are here to expand our capacity to love, to love everything. The only reason why we cant is because of fear.
Ironically you cannot reach self acceptance through awareness. Actually self acceptance is even easier if you don't have any self to begin with.. But obviously that's not the purpose. Being aware to me almost means the same as a bunch of water being poured into a funnel. And as it gets poured; the water is doing a tornado around the funnel before slowly making it towards the middle where it falls off into the tube that goes down wherever. Basically information gets poured in and we hold onto it for a bit while it still goes towards the middle and drains out. Being used to that information being poured, there are little chips or cracks in the funnel that determine how the water/information reacts at that certain point. It's in other words a condition or thing about it that makes the rest change ever so slightly. I see those cracks or cuts in the funnel as us. The knowledge and information about anything will always exist far beyond containment or realm. That's all God is. Just truth and knowledge and information, which can only be the purest form of love given that only information ABOUT something is not the intention, but holding those memories of every angle give light to appreciation and acceptance to what they are and how they work individually and as a whole. Knowing the start and end of something allows you to better understand the scope of it and how you can cherish it in all that it is. Anyway, being aware just means being able to convert and regurgitate some amount of information to maintain a status quo. If you were actually aware, it might be like completely wiping any thought or inclination of "self" way out of the equation and not having to guess or follow sets of principles in order to achieve.
This is especially true for people with OCD. Having to reconcile every intrusive thought, unfeel every negative feeling. Trying to control everything all the time, completely in vain.
that's too accurate. trying to balance not letting the intrusive thoughts destroy you emotionally and not just completely turning your emotions off is… too much. i had mine turned off for a pretty long time and in the past couple years i've been learning to feel/accept my emotions and it can be so overwhelming.
ive always been a person who tries hard to understand my own actions or emotions but lately its been too much, its like i cant turn it off, im always selfaware and think things about whatever im doing or experiencing wich stops me from actual living the moment like being relaxed or being happy. I dont really know what to do because it seems like i cant get out of my head, I feel trapped no matter where or with who I am...
There's a difference between being self-aware and being self-conscious. Sounds like you are experiencing the latter. Try not to be so critical with yourself and just do you. Being self-aware has more to do with how you notice others reacting to you and if you are all vibing, and adjust your behavior accordingly.
If it really impacts the quality of your life I'd advise a trip to the doctor. Intrusive thoughts, thought spirals and the like can be symptoms of depression or anxiety disorders. Best thing to do, is to sort those things out before they get to severe.
A rogue idea could be doing something a little further from your comfort zone/ usual patterns that brings you out of your thoughts as you are made to focus on something or are mentally stimulated. Things like this can bring you rip you back into the present. (idk if you're anywhere near some trampolines/ zip wires/ rock climbing/ rollercoasters- I suggest these because speed and/or heights work for me. I also find that an occasional cold shower can do the same as well, just make it at least a lil uncomfortable)
you might have anxiety, or idk. I am not a professional. Do consider talking with someone about this. And maybe seek the help of a therapist or a counselor.
exactly this!!! feels kinda good to see others experience the same or smth similar. it's like spiraling down a trail of self awareness and the more you get into it the worse it gets. for me it's like constantly observing myself and my impact on others from the outside and its starting to haunt me
I am selfaware to a point that I don't even consider myself as me . Sometimes I look in the mirror and get uncomfortable . Whenever I am getting good at some I become more aware to how I am doing it and suddenly I can't do the same anymore.
Being self-aware is great until you realise you've been rationalising how you feel instead of actually feeling the emotions, that's what i realised lately in therapy! I still think being self-aware is a great tool and personally how I find meaning and fulfilment in why I do what I do :) Not all the time though, sometimes you have to stop reading between the lines and just let go a bit!!
@@anaochoa idk how i got here but i thought myself into a hole over the past year, to the point of i was so uncomfortable in my own skin i dissociated for almost a year straight and forgot i could feel anything at all. but yr still in there, u jus have to find ur feelings and yrself again, don't shame yrself or talk yrself down due to what you've begun to perceive as feeling wrong. idk if it makes sense, i seem to have built these neural pathways of self criticism / analysis and it's a matter of rewiring urself to not feel like u have to police your own feelings in harmful ways. and jus figure out who u are outside of that again
Self-awareness is actually all about letting go. Consciousness is much greater when you’re not focused on your mind, your mind is not your self, your self should, at it’s best, be in full control of your mind. That can only happen once you really realize you aren’t your mind, which you can only do through love and acceptance of all things, and a desperate need to rid yourself of the toxins of subconscious habits.
This is pretty random but I really struggled with excessive introspection for a longgg time, like i was stuck in that way of thinking from my elementary school days till about sophomore year. One day I was talking to my science teacher in 9th grade (Freaking awesome dude) and I was trying to explain my thought process the best i could as a smol lil freshman, and I ended up telling him that I always ask why to pretty much everything. Why this why that, why do i love the people I do and why do they love me, why do we try our best and why do some people never succeed, ect. He thought about it for a moment and he told me "instead of asking why, ask how". I know that sounds pretty simple but that honestly blew me away. "How" is constructive, building the causes into effects, while "why" is deconstructive, breaking down the effect to figure out the cause. When your trying to break down why people love you or why you act the way you do, you end up just losing the question in the first place, like your feeling of purpose or even your feelings toward yourself and others. Instead I feel like you should ask how do people love you, how I am going to live my life, how do people become happy, how do you recover from something really hard, because that way you can find your own answers. They are your questions after all. Just felt like sharing thanks for reading :>
Ironically enough, I was doubtful about uploading this because I wasn't even sure if what I was saying made proper sense lol. Glad to see it's resonating with some of you and I'm super happy to see so many new names n faces here!!
I've been struggling with this realisation for over a year. No one around me seems to understand my point and it left my doubting the very nature of reality. Thanks for this upload. Metacognition will mess you up.
bro you are amazing, thanks alot for the video, its a pretty deep and nice topic to think about and my day is better today after watching your video, will share it with friends
This made me realize I’m not actually as self aware as I thought. I’m a very introspective person and in my own head a lot, but tend to fall into the trap of ruminating on negative thoughts about myself, or trying to come up with a reason for why I’m allowed to feel sad or angry or whatever. This was pretty helpful and put things into words really nicely!
i've always tried so hard to use self-awareness to get better but in the process i hadn't noticed i've been putting myself down by rejecting who i was in the present and thinking that i needed "fixing", "Self-awareness is only helpful when it brings us self acceptance" Woah this really hits hard, thanks for this video and keep up the good work.
I’ve been described as hyper-self-reflective because I constantly monitor all my thoughts and feelings, as well as my behavior and try to act as “normal” as possible. I Think about how others perceive me, make sure I’m sitting in an acceptable way, giving adequate eye contact etc etc - turns out I’m autistic! I’m just really really good at masking it, and it’s absolutely burning me out trying to “be myself” but in the “right” way depending on the audience I’m with. It’s tons and tons of tiny calculations trying to not seem like a weirdo. Now I’m working on accepting that I’m a weirdo, and just owning that instead of being terrified of what people might think…
ikr i have this issue as well i adjust myself according to everyone and how they are perceiving me how i want them to perceive me and sometimes i ask myself which is the real me i can pretty much related with everything u said lol
Omg, reading the first few sentences I was like ….this is AUTISM! And then I read that you’re autistic. I have the same experiences and I was just diagnosed. I couldn’t believe that everyone didn’t navigate the world that way and it was actually “just me.” But it’s very freeing to have that explanation
Ye man so my olders brothers were deemed to be in special ed and for some reason i wasnt, but 27 now and i straight up think i just masked it really really well. Idk i cant diagnose myself so idk 🤷♂️
I am not diagnosed But I have moments EXACTLY like this… Probably wont ever get diagnosed as my parents wont believe it but. It gets pretty bad sometimes but I have to reel myself back in. I kinda don’t wanna get diagnosed because I will just use it as an excuse. Maybe it will go away maybe it wont.
"self-awareness is only useful if it helps you be a better person", and "self-awareness is useless if you're not using it to ultimately reach a state of self-acceptance"... i really needed that
That last point you made about self-awareness only being helpful if it brings us to self acceptance is so key!! a lot of times I personally feel like I am being introspective and evaluating myself in order to change rather than to understand. So to have those words spoken out loud it’s just a reminder that the growth is good we should still make a conscious effort to love ourselves where we are.
Bro is self-aware of his self-awareness. I've been self-aware, but not self-aware of my self-awareness, so its just been taxing my energy without me realizing. Kind of like a parasite that you don't know of; it explains why I've been exhausted and a bit depressed. Well now that you showed me that I have a parasite, I can remove it. Thanks for the vid. I never would've realized the problem was me.
Oh, I love your format! As a former academic, I deeply appreciated you showing the viewer your research process, in particular the highlighting. And as a chronic overthinker and someone who is definitely too self-aware, thank you! Finding meaning in EVERYTHING can be exhausting - sometimes not everything means something, haha.
The structure and style of your videos are impeccable. As someone who can’t help but get bored of lazily scripted/ structured videos yours are so simple yet incredibly engaging. Thank you.
One of the core tenets of OCD is knowing that your obsessions and compulsions are irrational and yet doing them anyway. Self awareness has been a curse so far in that regard.
thank u for this. recently I've been really confused with myself and my handling of emotions, and this really helped me. i tend to overanalyze myself and my emotions, and the thought of emotions happening without a reason is very relieving. its so much easier to simply be sad than to get all worked up trying to understand why.
“Excessive introspection” is such a good word for what I do and I’ve never known what to do about it. I’m going to look into the book you mentioned. Thanks!
I loved this. In ACT therapy, my therapist teaches me that a lot of this analysis is my brain trying to protect me through finding patterns and sense. I’ve learned to treat a lot of it as background noise and not waste so much energy on it. I’ve also learned the phrase “if it works, good! If it doesn’t, toss it. “
Amazingly timely video for me. I’ve been struggling with depersonalization+derealization over the last few years as a result of an anxiety disorder. Part of the issue is the obsessive introspection. This video definitely shed some new light on the issue. Thank you.
I also struggle with the same thing.. the only thing that seems to work for an extended period of time is a really good acid trip on rare occasion, this is just me tho others are probably different
Now imagine having DPDR and a Chronic Brain fog with Dementia like symptoms at 23 since 20. Its not living. Its existing, without any purpose but suffering for no reason whatsoever and frankly, I hate it here. Forget connecting to anyone and their emotions when u cant even connect to urs.
My understanding in using introspection towards myself is basically this: Don't examine yourself to necessarily fix yourself (though sometimes there can be things that need fixing), examine yourself to understand how to apply yourself to your surroundings. I am piece A, find a slot where piece A fits. Do not force yourself to fit in slot B if it doesn't work.
not everyone thinks they're self-aware though; I never even knew of, let alone understood the concept until I fell into deep depression at 26, and started voraciously reading things about cognitive behavioral therapy and such. Took me 2 years to finally realize what self-awareness was after that, and I still am probably not aware most of the time of most of my aspects.
And probably not everyone has the good kind of self-awareness. Up until 24, all my self-awareness came from random posts on the internet, youtube videos like this one. I did kind of have self-awareness, but it was so bad, I always wished I was just ignorant of it all. Then I started reading psychotherapy books, and just understanding how your brain makes you think the thoughts you feel and why, relating to some of the cases in the books, thinking about scenarios in your life related to those books. I no longer saw my insecurities, my flaws, my defects as bad, just as part of human nature. People on the internet will always want clicks and views, and they will romanticize, dramatize and distort everything, whether they realize it or not. A trained psychotherapist who spent 40+ years of their life analyzing human behavior, actually healing and helping people all their lives, senses some patterns youtubers don't. And those kind of people writing a few books after so much experience in that field doesn't even compare to a youtube video some guy did. These kind of videos are good because they introduce strangers to the field, but in my opinion, they should just be taken as entertainment.
@@jenesaisvraimentpasquoimet8473 The Denial of Death, Fear of Life, Our Inner Conflicts, Neurosis and Human Growth, The Meaning of Anxiety, Man's Search for Himself, Man's Search for Meaning, Personality Shaping Through Positive Disintegration. Some of the ones that stuck with me.
I once saw this quote online, and I don’t know who wrote it but it changed how I perceive myself now. “You aren’t self-aware, you’re self centered.” It’s obviously a bad thing, but if you are so aware to the point it’s always about you, how you act, how you look, how you talk, then you are just simply self centered, and maybe you don’t intend to be but it is affecting you and other people.
i think a lot of people need to hear this. self centered isnt always intentional, it just means that you are so obsessed with the image of yourself, whether its good or bad. i dont know how to find the balance between complete lack of self awareness and ego
@@SkylarStJohn-mo4yi that's true but it's definitely a negative self centeredness. A nauseating worry that i've earned myself a 'legacy' of cringe behavior
I've always known I'm self centered, I sometimes forget other people exist lol. But without being self centered also allow for self awareness? Meaning they can both be true? Anyway, we're all different, I'm convinced that the world isn't the same for all of us and if that influences who we are it's hard to find a baseline for what awareness is.
i sort of agree but really dislike it when some people have told me this in the past, like my obsession with how i look/social anxiety/fear of others' perception of me etc isn't selfishness, it's an unstoppable cycle of genuine suffering and self sabotaging. being told i'm self-centered has just added to my guilt and self hatred. people who are too self-aware are victims of their own minds and i don't know why some other people try to insert themselves. i'm thankfully much better now tho and have learned to overcome my doubts to live my best life.
I kinda disagree with " a lot of our emotions occur for no reason...." i believe there is always a reason that we just don't know. idk if it's just me but i believe that there's always a reason for every thing but we shouldn't stress ourselves trying to find one. there will be times that we won't clearly know why sth happened or why we feel the way we feel but that doesn't contradict the fact of the existence of a reason. I see your pov and I really enjoyed the vid although it's kinda odd for you not to have many subscribers !!!!!
I had the same reaction to that statement as well. To echo your sentiment, but restated: I believe it's impossible to fully understand why we feel some way. So many things happen during a day, week, or a life-time, that we can't possibly connect all the dots. I think emotions are the way that our subconscious communicates that something important is happening to us, and we should take a course of action. Self-awareness isn't about understanding; it's about control. Take 'anger', for instance: When I became a parent, anger seemed to make more sense. When my child became old enough to be disrespectful or willfully defiant, I felt anger. It's very closely related to frustration, but not the same. Frustration is like when your baby won't stop crying and you don't know what to do. Anger is when you tell your kid to do something, but they look you dead in the eye and tell you "No." I had to process my feelings of anger towards my formerly soft, mushy, precious, little baby now back-talking me with regularity. I always viewed anger as irrational and weak. But it dawned on me...anger, and emotions in general, are just normal signals coming from a deeper, more instinctual part of your human mind. You should listen to your emotions and take them under advisement, but never let them drive the ship. When you let them take control, then you become weak and irrational. I think "self-awareness" isn't so much about 'why' you feel emotions, but 'what' you should do when you feel it. Trying to figure out 'why' often leads to out of control spirals of deeper and deeper introspection that cripples you and prevents you from taking action. Take the uppity, disrespectful child that complained about the plate of food you just prepared for them, and then tossed on the floor in defiance to your commands to "Just eat it." You could sit down later and think: "Why did I get angry? My parents got angry with me when I was a child. Am I perpetuating a cycle of anger? Do I have an anger issue? Is it normal to feel this way?" But your anger is the alarm bell that is going off deep down in the very fiber of your being that is telling you that if your child is going to become a respectful, functioning member of society that other people want to love and be around, then they can't throw their food around. The 'why' is solved for you. You're angry because someone very important to you is making a bad decision and is in need of guidance. Instead you need to decide what to do about it. The wrong reaction is to fly off the handle and start screaming. You can figure out your own way to the "right" solution, but when you feel anger you know something noteworthy is taking place, and you need to take action. Think about what your experience would be like if you didn't feel anything. How would you know where to go? When would you know you found something worth doing? When would you realize you were around people that are bringing you harm?
(Edit: warning for long long comment lol) This is one of the things I’ve struggled with a lot recently, constantly trying to explain the reasoning behind my behavior and finding more and more that I don’t know or understand exactly why I feel how I feel. I like to think I’ll always be able to rationally figure it out, there will always be a cause and effect, and while I think it’s mildly true, it’s not true on the scale i think it is. If I’m depressed even when life is going fairly well, think “well, i must be depressed right now because I’m a selfish person and nothing is never enough for me” while it could just be, you know, the mental illness. Or my diet, or how much time I’ve spent in the sun recently, or how many friendly faces I’ve seen in the past month, or any combination of factors that I can’t just directly *think* my way out of in the moment. If you’re very introspective with a low self esteem, it can basically lead to you turning yourself into a monster and finding the worst ways of explaining your actions. I wonder to myself “why is it so hard for me to ask for help?” And my brain goes “Well of course it’s because you WANT to be broken so you can have an excuse to keep being lazy and not own up to your actions. It’s because you can’t handle the truth that when you go to a therapist they will tell you nothing is really wrong with you and everything that’s happening is your fault and there is no treatment for it. It’s because in the end you are a selfish person and you don’t want to better yourself.” And what does that do? It doesn’t make me want to seek help, it makes me self isolate, because i keep telling myself that I alone have to think my way out of this hole I’m in, that I alone can figure out what’s going on and fix it. It basically goes from being self aware to just self critical. My internal dialogue most of the time is more like a mean-spirited film critic that’s reading into every action with the most bad-faith interpretation possible. I can’t always explain my own emotions, and I don’t always have to, I just have to work with them. It’s rough and it’s incredibly difficult to accept and I certainly haven’t gotten that through my head fully but I try. (On the note of being overly aware of how you come off to people, I’ve realized I do it to an extent that it basically becomes “mind reading”, where I’m sure I know how other people are perceiving me until I directly hear from them that I’m wrong. I’ll think “my friend must hate me right now for not calling him, i can’t talk to him until I’m emotionally ready to hear him tell me he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore because he probably despises me so much” and when I finally talk to the friend they’re like “actually I’ve been super concerned for you!” And I realize like… oh yeah… I actually don’t know what the fuck anyone else is thinking bc my self esteem is incredibly warped.)
I understand what you are saying and relate to it but my advice is don’t think of yourself as one entitiy. It just does not work that way. You are not subjectives like selfish,lazy.. ect. You are complicated human. I personally think of myself as garden where there is good seed and bad ones. When I make mistakes, I cultivate the bad seeds and make them grow. When I repent and promise to never repeat it, I cut them. But if did not grow the good seeds, bad ones will just grow right away. I personally feel like I have grown the bad ones more often in the past 15 years. But lately it has been a year now that I feel I’m growing the good ones more than before. It will take long time to grow any because I will have long time trimming the bad ones and their effects might always be there. But I will never stop trying to grow the good ones until i die.
Ive reached a singularity in my mind where my perspective of myself inside to out is so over analysed that I no longer feel anything, I exhibit external signs of happy or sad responses like a robot mimicking human response to satisfy others around me, but in reality I'm void inside completely unfeeling and it's a paradox I've dug myself into without a ladder to escape from.
I'm very self aware, I lived my live since 10 years (Now I'm 20) thinking about my problems and getting awareness of myself. Just recently I saw that, in reality, all that self awareness don't really matter that much if you learn two things: 1 - Live in the moment by changing your brain from a Survival Mode to a Learning Mode state; 2 - The best way to solve a trauma, or any problematic thing that you're dealing with, is by letting it go past through you. When you learn to let things go, and don't let them make you their prisoner, and don't let them stop you from living your present, that's the moment you'll see how really important it's to instead of thinking about things you simply accept them and move on. But self awareness is pretty cool tho, it's a really good tool to spot any problem quickly and being a more empathetic human being.
And you are 20??? Hmmmm Pls pls always be you dear!!!!! I would have given everything away just to be your mother. May Allah always bless you in your life journey. Love and Respect from Ethiopia!!!
I feel this all the time. As if I’m constantly being watched, or as if I say what emotions should be happening and then they don’t. Like at a funeral I say “I need to cry” then I feel empty when I don’t cry
Worst part of being self-aware in my opinion was the realisation that I was too self-aware for therapy to help me. I was in therapy for two years and it did nothing because everything I was told about myself, I’d long figured out.
I've been more on the self introspective side my entire life and it has definitely lead me down the path of self admonishing thoughts and behaviors that overall had a more negative impact on my happiness and quality of life than actually improving myself. I changed myself to be a more kind and caring individual six or so years ago now and have generally become that person, at least I hope so. I've been doing an awful lot of introspective thinking this past month especially as my girlfriend of 4 and a half years and I were having relationship issues and it's definitely caused me to look inwards once more and grow. I feel more self aware knowing that the way I view our relationship and how we could fix things or the reasons why I think things happened is entirely a construct of my own mind informed by all of my experiences and views in life and as such I have tried to avoid entering that trap you mention towards the end of the video. I've been consuming so much information to try and make sense of the turmoil in my life in order to bring me some comfort. Sorry for over sharing a bit, it's just been a lot for me to go through at the ripe age of 23 going on 24 this November and I have spoken to friends and strangers alike about the traumas of my life and the recent drama with my partner and I know it has been very helpful to me to let it all out and I feel the more I share my true self with others the more I can both grow and maybe even selfishly feel like I can help others take a look inwards while I'm at it. I truly believe people are at our best when we can be honest with one another and most importantly honest with ourselves without convincing ourself of a comfortable narrative of our lives.
What if all your thoughts are just in your head meaning the whole world around you is nothing but a projection of your thoughts.. Look inside, who is inside you, who is the one thinking can you see the being underneath the thinking? What if there is something beyond yourself. This emptiness. This presence. I am extremely self aware without even knowing it about everything and myself, so much that there was this split of self. Almost like the thinker the ''me'' seemed to vanish into something much greater then myself. There is a greater you beneath all the thinking. If reality that you see is your interpretation then where is the real reality? Doesn't that mean that you are living in your head? There is a constant reality outside but its blurred by your owns thoughts of what that reality is. What if you could see reality without your past collective memories. What if you just see it, as it is in that moment. What if you realize that every human behaviour is moved by the wanting's to be loved and accepted, then is everything governed by love then since even hate comes from wanting to be loved/understood? Anyhow realize that right now that voice in your head, is it even you? What if you dissociate from that voice. What if you aren't even that voice? What if there is something much deeper within you? All yourself to dissolve into that presence. All your worries and insecurities are just all in your head.
Reading all these comments makes me feel so much less alone because I can finally see people that can relate to me that others in my life cannot understand.
Self awareness is not the problem it’s the solution, the problem is your suffering 2 things, a very good memory and a vivid sense of imagination, take charge of this and self awareness will be your gold mine
As a fellow with OCD, i have developed an obsession with finding truth of myself, as well as too much "introspection" and analysis of my thoughts and behaviors. Its a hard thing to slip out of, because being self aware is always great and looking on who we are is as well, but too much of a good thing leads you down a spiral and constant checks to see if we really are who we think we are and compulsions to constantly reassess
I can relate to an extent. You’re not alone. Reassure yourself youre in control of your own thoughts and please speak to yourself openly about what is bothering you, and trust me you’ll be fine from there on. Stay calm and don’t try to be too deep into moment, just being alive and analyzing is key to living a beautiful life
OCD has been called "the disease of doubt." Even most psychiatrists don't understand how deeply it permeates the personality. Even more so than obsessions and compulsions, excessive uncertainty is the most widespread hallmark of the disease
As an experienced person with 40 years old I guarantee that young people should be taught that early in their lifetimes: overthinking happens naturally and leads to feeling tired, axiousness and often worsen our mental processes instead of improving since we also naturally move towards what is familiar to us... in other words, our biases. Good content, @Fads !
I remember growing up in a harsh family situation, and that, the need to adjust to it ultimately led me to ditch some of my own personality traits that made my experience of life happier. Being aware of this didn't change the fact that I did fall into my own bias of knowing how I felt living my life was meant to be vs. how I figured I might ba able to survive in this world. I also have OCD and this has led me to ruminate for a long time about why I have given myself up to this uncaring version of myself, of my self. Basically, I gave too much in order to fit in, and didn't know how to step back into who I knew I wanted to be. I love this video. Thank you!!
Definitely reached a point where I’m self-aware of all of my shortcomings, which may humble me, but I think I do it out of some weird obligation-as if fixating on my own flaws will make others not notice them as much. They still do. 😅
maybe try to expand your self awareness past just your flaws. and use that awareness of your flaws to come up with possible solutions or improvements. if your self awareness is only of flaws that you can’t change, then you have a very narrow sense of self awareness
@@ghosts288 i think what I meant was simply more along the lines of being self aware of my own shortcomings. Since typically people who *aren’t* self-aware are the ones who are completely oblivious of their flaws/blindspots
@@jadedjimmy i would argue that a majority of people are overly aware of their flaws and shortcomings. but very few actually take action to change them or change the way they view the ones that are uncontrollable.
@@ghosts288 okay we must have different experiences then, because most of the time when I hear someone talk about someone else who “isn’t very self aware”, they’re referring to their inability to see their own flaws, can’t read a room, isn’t considerate of others, that sort of thing.
I've never considered that my empathy and altruism could lead me down a path of creating and justifying my own view of myself in such a negative way. I think it might be at the core of why I criticize myself so harshly when I feel that I have failed people or let them down or hurt them unintentionally.
It's a fine line between self-awareness and self-absorption. I fluctuate between the two. For me, self-awareness means having a basic knowledge as to why I feel this way or that way (the reasons within the reasons), and how my words and actions affect others. A basic perception as to how one appears to others is also useful, to help navigate being in a society, but it can quickly become a prison. As I get older, I'm losing interest in how other people interpret me, whether or not I'm 'acceptable' or 'cool.' Couldn't really give a rat's ass anymore. Most people bore me, as superficial unconscious zombies. 'Real' people are hard to find.
Absolutely agree. It doesn't matter how other people interpret you unless it threatens your job stability or something. The reason people end up seeming superficial is precisely because they dissolve into herd mentality by caring too much about what other people think and conforming to those around them. Ironically, that's not self-awareness. It's basically self-erasure.
@@ghosts288 Its the opposite or narcissistic to not care what people think about you, people who are narcissistic care so much and there fore put others down to feel better.
I just realized the title is basically the same thing I told my gf about. I told her that I'm so done with everything happened to me, everything I understood and endured them. So I'd rather choose not knowing anything, or atleast pretend to be dumb than to seek out deeper meanings and realizations. Ironically, it saved my life.
I used to try and “define” myself by using these metaphors. Imagery and aesthetics that resonated with me at the time became my identity. And I lost the point of being self-aware. I didn’t know what my problems were, how to solve them, how I came off to others and what I wanted in my life. I was stuck in my own head and needed to escape. I achieved this by just doing things. I wanted my actions to guide me. When I did something I thought about how that thing made me feel, if it somehow resonated the same way those metaphors did. And with this method I managed to surround myself with people, objects, hobbies and interests that are now important parts of me. This time those feelings of appreciation and belonging are real. Not online, not tied to a Wi-Fi connection. They are real.
Fun fact - "The Oracle" in the Matrix was based upon a lady who Ive been visiting here in my Australian hometown for years. She is actually of Greek origin and still, despite her failing health, performs homemade tarot card readings in her kitchen. She like to chain smoke Marlboro reds and always offers you a cup of thick black greek coffee. Thought I'd share :)
I love how your conclusion is essentially, Be more self aware about how you use self awareness. Self awareness needs to come with science & education & growth. Introspection when you're ignorant of how the brain works or of what tools help you is not gonna get as much progress & peace.
I’ve only watched a couple of your videos, but they’ve all left me with a sense of hope and optimism. I’m not the happiest person, I never have been, and the internet frequently only serves to exacerbate this issue. Thank you for making content that is meant to build people up and not tear them down.
I literally am in therapy because I have got fatigued about the narratives about myself, self-awareness stuff. This video is useful. Thank you. I am really finding it hard to be human, and overcoming my guilt of doing things wrong.
do we ever come to the point where our narrative about ourselves is fixed or constant, or is it always just a costant search? i am about to embark on a self-discovery journey, but i feel llike i might just be getting myself into a hole that i might not be able to come out of
i struggle a lot with being self aware on my lonely days, “internal logic” is something that makes my take on current relationship w my bf becomes harder than i thought, but hearing u saying “self awareness is useless when you can’t reach self acceptance” really resonate so much with me, i feel enlightened. thank you
I like self awareness, it made me realise bas thought patterns and stuff, but also overthink every thought I have and overthinking my overthinking a.k.a trying to find the "why" of stuff that have no meaning aside from just popping up. Ty for this one!
The part where you talked about wanting to be able to make a trail back to the cause of your emotions really hit home with me. Maybe sometimes we are just sad for no reason.
This video just came up on my recommended and I'm so happy it did. Great analysis, and well-structured video. Confirmed a lot of things for me too! I always thought I was extremely self-aware due to OCD and a rumination compulsion that made me inspect every thought, but I realized recently that became almost too self-aware and therefore totally unaware as a result LOL so it's funny that you and the research lady confirmed that. Keep these videos up!
This is why meditation calls for quieting the mind, NOT introspection or "mindfulness". Loved your video, it's impressive how deep and rich it was in such a short time. Suscribing now!
@@_linlin_ They are very similar Sam Harris defines mindfulness as a sort of effortless focus, while meditation is that focus directed towards stillness and your cognition So meditation is mindfulness but mindfulness is not meditation
Once you quiet your own mind you're helpless but to intake the white noise of other minds. There's no choice other than mindfulness once you've crossed that border, the only other way is to become everyone.
Meditation is attention control practice, regardless of whether mindful or mindlessness. Good catch that mindful actually means thinking a lot, not the empty mind it's usually taken for.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
felt like i was going insane for a bit cause i thought i was alone with these thoughts/ideas. honestly made me cry to know theres people out there who struggle with the circle of self awareness. for years now ive wished i could go back to living in the moment and not having to break so much down, its honestly ruined so much for me. but i guess it is what it is.
@@jamesjohnstone1224 i will say its gotten better. ive quit smoking weed and that definitely brought me back to reality quite a bit. its just the rare occasion of me not feeling real that still bothers me a bit but i dont get as much anxiety from it as i used to. ive somewhat been able to let go of a lot of things that used to hold me back and be able to go with the flow like i used to be able to do. and ive more so been able to accept perceptions are going to always be different and i find it beautiful in a sense, but also scary at how vast those opinions can vary and how extreme and harmful they can be. i just have to come back to the fact that i cant control everyones thoughts and its not my job to.
@@weebnugget682 How's it going? Sometimes I also wish that I could go back to actually living in the moment like I always did before instead of ruminating about each interaction and feelings I have be it past, present, or future.
The way you approached this video was so creative… you had me hooked from the first second! So glad I came across you, excited to watch more of your videos.
This is really comforting to know because now I know I’m not the only one. I’ve been trying to teach myself I speak up more, communicate with others properly, set boundaries, be aware of my behaviors, etc. especially after Covid because my mental health got so much more worse. I had (and still have to) explore who I am and why I do certain things. I’ve been diagnosed with many different things ever since I was little, and I was aware of that, but not aware to the extent of why I have those things. I’ve spent so much time in these 3 years after Covid of trying to figure out who I am and it’s lead me to think I’m a bad person because of very small things I do. I’ve definitely gone to the point where I’ve been hyper focused on each little behavior. If I do anything that can be considered mean in anyway i feel horrible. I’ve been trying to figure out how to get out of this hole I’ve dug myself into. I told my friend to nudge me when I apologize for something that I didn’t need to apologize for, so I think that’s a good step in the right direction? I will definitely be keeping this video in mind
I developed and used to use being self-aware purely as a way to both hate myself and be better at life, and after years I'v3 started to drop the former. I don't know where I heard this but I'v3 always kept this in my head: "Self awareness is the first step to recovery"
in my exploration of self awareness, the more self aware you become the easier your life becomes and the more successful you can be, because you start to skip a lot of the middle ground of your processing. Like if you know your anger is only going to be limited and your not the type to hold a grudge you can just skip feeling angry all together and skip to the part where you forget about it and move on. But somehow that feels incomplete, like there's a lack of catharsis or something like it. Sometimes its better just to live as you naturally feel and not think to hard about it.
Another essential thing, is being aware of your habitual thought and emotion process and not trying to fight who YOU are. For example, if you know you have a short temper keep & trying to force yourself to calm down when you're about to lose it, or get mad at yourself for feeling this way. Find ways to be proactive instead, like removing yourself from environments that can cause these emotions to flare. This is what I've learnt over the past few years. Acceptance is the key to self growth.
I truly understand the saying ignorance is bliss. . I would love to be able to walk through life breathing out of my mouth blissfully unaware of both what's going on inside and around me like 99% of the rest of the inhabitants of this planet
Good explanation for the common man. This is a good perspective if you are seeking happiness, but I want more. I don't seek joy in life I seek understanding, but I cannot recommend people follow me because introspection is a bottomless pit. Although I think self awareness is good no matter your reason because understanding yourself allows you to act better.
I realized I can be so analytical when it comes to my own thoughts words and actions (and how they're perceived by others) that it affects the things I say- so fkn worried that other ppl would think I was wack that id say or do some shi that'd actually make them think that. life and all our experiences and interactions can literally be whatever we want we just have to bring that energy with authenticity and be fully present in it. great vid
self awareness to me is to be able to relate every thought or decision or even unconscious actions to past trauma. knowing all what my unconsciousness is about. Knowing why i am the way i am. knowing thought patterns of myself. therefore applying it on others. living in 3rd person view
Idk if I self-reflect or self-ruminate but I'm sure about the fact that you deserve a lot more subscribers and views for the quality of the content you post.
So grateful I found this video. The past few months have been really hard because I’ve been so intensely introspective that I became a hypochondriac. I started to deeply feel every ache and pain and concern in my body and immediately went to the worst explanation. I’m only just like, this month coming out of that anxiety. It’s possible to be self-aware without pathologizing everything I experience
I needed to hear this! I'm an overthinker and sometimes introspection does more bad than good. I love your take and was surprised by the size of your channel. Just subscribed, look forward to watching more splendid videos!
Love love love this video and I don’t think I’ve ever heard or seen someone talk about this. Reflecting on your own emotions and actions is something that is usually seen as a positive thing. But nobody ever says the negatives of being too self reflective or aware of your thoughts. I’m definitely one of those people where my thoughts are loud and I’m constantly re evaluating my emotions, thoughts, actions. How my emotions effect the people around me and how they might be uncomfortable so I should’nt be open about my emotions. But at the same time why am I feeling this way? Why should I not show my emotions? Everything I do, say, feel, think have two sides and I think of every possible outcome that may come from it. It’s absolutely exhausting and ultimately makes me paralyzed. Unable to do anything. And I stay like this, inside my own head not thinking I’m being aware of myself and others but really I’m just in my own universe. I’ve been noticing I’d stop listening when people talked to me because I’d be thinking about what I just said and how I couldve said it differently. But I’m not even in the moment, not present in this conversation when I thought I was. It’s miserable. I’m going to a therapist because it’s really been affecting my self esteem and motivation to do anything. I’ve been spiraling in my own head and going into a deep depression and I’ve noticed it’s getting worse. Thank you for talking about this. It’s really an eye opener and the start to changing the way I think. It’s going to be hard but I really appreciate this video.
Thanks for the upload! I’m diagnosed with OCD, GAD, and depression. I can sort of recognize when I’m headed towards delusion. Before being diagnosed, I would chase my delusion, push people away, run away, etc. I would always jump to conclusion without my diagnosis. I am only 25, but I grew up fast, in inner cities, and joined the service at 17 to escape my environment. I’ve been in therapy, counseling, and psychiatry. I finally want to live, when my first suicide attempts started at age 5. Sadly we’re headed to a recession, but we’ll make it out. Wishing peace where peace is due 🙏🏽
Thank you for making this. For the past few years I've been going around in circles of striving for self-awareness and consequentially feeling hopeless about the person I am, hating the flaws I've become aware of, and feeling guilty and trapped in this flesh prison who can't socialize or make good decisions in life. It made me extremely hard on myself, to the point I feel like I am fundamentally broken, like I will never be able to completely fit in with others or truly be happy. All because I am constantly considering what I look and act like to other people. I'm aware of my faults and yet I continue to indulge in them. I told myself over and over again that once I understand the "why" behind why I'm the way I am, it will fix it. But you're absolutely right, sometimes there isn't an answer to that. Even when there is, that knowledge alone doesn't change the behavior. Self-awareness I believe can be useful in helping someone accept themselves and become a person that they enjoy being, but it is not the answer to the problem. To see that someone else thinks about this kind of stuff too felt like a cry into the void that brought me back to reality, it made me feel like maybe I'm not as weird and broken as I thought. Maybe there is a way out of overthinking about self-awareness and my existence as a less-than-stellar human being.
I've been too self-aware and it makes me stuck in my head, terrified of each thoughts I have, I overthink every single little thing on bad days. Reading the comments it's nice to know I'm not alone. I have generalized anxiety disorder and possibly other mental issues. Ive been super self-aware to try and be a better person and to rationalize everything, but in the end I'm just living in my head and not letting the feelings come through me, just intellectualizing them. I've done a lot of self-work and progress I think! But evaluating every movement, thought, and feeling FOREVER doesn't bring me any good anymore. I need to learn to let go. It's fuckin' hard with anxiety and adhd to shut off the brain, but these days I'm doing a bit better! I have ups and downs. This video and the comments definetly helped me but still made me anxious and uncomfortable because it touches stuff that I'm anxious about. Thank you for making it! ♡
I recently dropped the "self" part and just settled on the awareness part. It feels like I'm watching inside and out and not judging any of it. I found that asking "why" about every thought is not productive because 99.9% thoughts are just junk or not worth the time spent on them. Great video btw.
What if all your thoughts are just in your head meaning the whole world around you is nothing but a projection of your thoughts.. Look inside, who is inside you, who is the one thinking can you see the being underneath the thinking? What if there is something beyond yourself. This emptiness. This presence. I am extremely self aware without even knowing it about everything and myself, so much that there was this split of self. Almost like the thinker the ''me'' seemed to vanish into something much greater then myself. There is a greater you beneath all the thinking. If reality that you see is your interpretation then where is the real reality? Doesn't that mean that you are living in your head? There is a constant reality outside but its blurred by your owns thoughts of what that reality is. What if you could see reality without your past collective memories. What if you just see it, as it is in that moment. What if you realize that every human behaviour is moved by the wanting's to be loved and accepted, then is everything governed by love then since even hate comes from wanting to be loved/understood? Anyhow realize that right now that voice in your head, is it even you? What if you dissociate from that voice. What if you aren't even that voice? What if there is something much deeper within you? All yourself to dissolve into that presence. All your worries and insecurities are just all in your head.
This video was really nice to see. Having someone talk about something I’ve been with my whole life that I never really thought of but still had to deal with and feel more and more depressed by. It’s nice to have someone confirm it is a thing that exists
I'm too self aware and I love it. I use what I know and apply it to other people And I'm very troubled so I can figure out a lot. I lived in my own head all my life and I'm 25.
are you really self aware when you subscribe to 892 channels just because they told you to? I only sub ones i like watching frequently and unsub ones i haven't seen in a few years. i currently only sub 123 channels. i really dont care if you look at which ones. we have some in common. even with 123 subed channels its impossible to watch everything they upload.
I haven't reached the point of my self-awareness where I start hating it, yet. It has given me a sense of understanding about myself and self-reflecting has been good entertainment when staring into space. Then again I'm in my early 20s so I dread that it's gonna haunt me when I age.
I've noticed this works really well in believing in a cycle, you wake up and go to bed. Suppose you train your brain to see small things like these in our day-to-day lives. In that case, it can open up a wide variety of all different kinds of emotions and this is very enlightening as it can lead to so many different learning experiences which only build up you in the end.
i dont try to achieve peak self awareness for happiness, i strive for it because the person i was before christ saved me wasnt the greatest guy. yeah, i didnt have the best hands dealt to me but ive learned and grown so much from being more self aware. i dont think anyone can be too self aware, it matters on the purpose you have driving the navigation. we all should strive to be our best selves to contribute to our communities around us ❤ god bless man and heres to another year 🤙🏽
This video was amazing. I've been thinking about this very subject recently, and I'm happy to see I'm not alone. I'm still not sure how but I have a feeling this relates to how too much "mindfulness" can actually be bad for you, according to some recent studies. Cheers!
I'm self aware when I'm around people especially when there's only one person like what do they think about me, what do they think about my behaviour? What if they think I'm stupid or what if they think I'm rude or not polite? but when I'm alone I don't judge myself, i don't hate myself. And that's how i knew im self aware/self conscious. It's heartbreaking
Cool video, dude. Nice editing & music, too. Lovely voice. I like how it feels like you're humbly exploring an idea alongside us, not lecturing. Thanks for putting this out.
Woah thank you for this. I didn’t realize that other people get this way. I’ve always thought I was just a little crazy questioning my own actions and emotions.
i've been told by lots of people throughout my mental health counseling how very self-aware i am. i never really agreed or understood what that meant. i brought it up once to the counselor who knows me more than anyone else and he told me how NOT self-aware i am. i'm not really sure what to make of all this but it seemed relevant
To me, an important part of introspection is recognising that thoughts and feelings can come from many places. Sometimes it's a reaction to an event that has happened in your life, but it can also just be because you're hungry or stressed or tired. I think awareness of those states and how to take care of yourself and bring yourself back into a better balance is very healthy.
I think the biggest issue for me has been the crossover between my "self-awareness", my childhood trauma, and social anxiety. When I go out into public, I am constantly overanalyzing how I come across to other people. So much to the point that the littlest glare or even blank stare can send me into an internal panic about what I may be doing wrong. Or even really silly things like my posture, facial expressions, how much or too little I project my voice, etc. With my traumas, I've fallen into the trap of believing narratives that really shitty people in my life have told me is innate about myself. False narratives that I'll never be good enough, that I'm lazy, that I'm cringy, that I'm ugly... etc. All of these and more get me into this mental loop, that is me attempting to be "self aware" but really just turns into me shitting on myself, and holding myself back from my full potential. This and the trauma are why I pay a bit of money a week for therapy lol. I definitely recommend it. That's a type of self-awareness I think has been beneficial for me - because it's guided and a lot of times a good therapist will catch if you're just bashing yourself/heading down thought loops that are unhelpful.
Yes, self acceptance is key. Self assuredness is the answer to the "why". To gain control over the narrative of direct experience in one's own life. To experience one's desired existence. As we grow, we gain a more clear idea of what we want and what we don't want. Introspection is useful only to the extend that it bolsters our self assuredness in this regard. And when you gain the wisdoms from enduring hell, then you don't let anyone one ever shake you again
I’ve gone in and out of self ruminating and what I’ve learned and had to sit with this past winter was to be present with my own abandonment that I’ve always felt at an early age. It was something I’d constantly think about through childhood, teen-hood and even my adult hood as of now the age of 27. At 26, I was finally told the truth and that my Dad was not my biological father and that the man who’s blood runs through my veins left my mother and I before I was even born. It was something that took me the whole year to process. No matter how self aware, I thought I was. I don’t blame anyone for the lie for so long, as a matter of fact it was better to know as an adult… my lesson was to sit down and be present with emotions and feel them out and be able to let go and accept my life for how it turned out.
"Self Awareness is useless if you're not using it to ultimately reach a state of self acceptance rather than falling in the trap of believing your own guilt. We're not always right and we're not definitely always right about ourselves" Beautiful, thank you
I've lived my entire life overly self aware. It's more than self aware I'm everyone and everything aware. My life is like driving when you have to know everything going on around you, this is me and it's drove me mad my entire life. If someone is clicking a pen in a room full of peoppe across the room, I'm aware of it. I'm constantly playing scenarios out in my head over and over and over. Even before speaking to someone it's like my brain is computing different ways the conversation could go and preparing for that. As I'm speaking I'm watching a person breathing their eye movement what their hands are doing. I've been told I was psychic more times than I can count but the truth is I've got so good at reading peoppe and environments I usually can guess the outcome of a situation. The same with people, I read people or idk it's a feeling almost, I feel someone's energy and know their motives. I know how someone is feeling almost instantly. And it's very hard for someone to be able to lie to me, especially someone I've had time to analyze and understand changes in their voice posture actions breathing in general, that I would deem not normal for them when someone is lying to me. Ive always been someone who basicallt can not lie, it doesnt mean i havent, i just mean i know i make it obvious because im over analyzing it so i found its easier to just be honest and take whatevwr comes with that in that moment. I say all of this to say its like hell in my mind. I can't quite it. It actually led me to a drug addiction. I just wanted to numb my mind and quite the constant noise. I've been clean for 3 years now and I've found myself totally isolating myself. If someone ask me out or to do something I always say no, I never make plans and when I do I cancel them. I just get overwhelmed in crowded places. I don't mean for this to sound like "omg I'm a empath I feel feelings" it's different than that like another level. I've always wondered if alot of people are like this. I know people who can live so in the moment not worry about what may happen in the next minute. I wish I could live like that. The only time it was possible if when I was high but I refuse to live that way again. So I isolate, I workout alot, I listen to music with headphones to distract my mind. It's hard to even watch TV my mind even drifts off from that. Maybe I have some adhd that's never been diagnosed, thanks American Healthcare system. P.s It's not being self conscious, I'm very critical of myself but I also know that I'm attractive and intelligent. I'm aware, I'm very "awake".
What if all your thoughts are just in your head meaning the whole world around you is nothing but a projection of your thoughts.. Look inside, who is inside you, who is the one thinking can you see the being underneath the thinking? What if there is something beyond yourself. This emptiness. This presence. I am extremely self aware without even knowing it about everything and myself, so much that there was this split of self. Almost like the thinker the ''me'' seemed to vanish into something much greater then myself. There is a greater you beneath all the thinking. If reality that you see is your interpretation then where is the real reality? Doesn't that mean that you are living in your head? There is a constant reality outside but its blurred by your owns thoughts of what that reality is. What if you could see reality without your past collective memories. What if you just see it, as it is in that moment. What if you realize that every human behaviour is moved by the wanting's to be loved and accepted, then is everything governed by love then since even hate comes from wanting to be loved/understood? Anyhow realize that right now that voice in your head, is it even you? What if you dissociate from that voice. What if you aren't even that voice? What if there is something much deeper within you? Allow yourself to dissolve into that presence. All your worries and insecurities are just all in your head.
honestly, i think a part of it comes from a hyper-vigilance thing in the sense that our subconscious ties to keep us safe by always knowing if not constantly trying to figure out everything about everything all the time because it makes us feel that we can somehow predict things because we “know” (taught from trauma) that there is always a sort of potential for harm
I once was thinking something similar to you. It was if what we call reality even existed. My answer is that there is no answer and mostly how we truly perceive reality. When thinking of things like this, I use the term ‘boxes’. These boxes is what we see, what we think and what we can or cannot perceive as being there. We use these subconsciously or consciously to give us a scope of understanding. But every time we get deeper into an answer or try to figure out more of it. Another box it created since than you start to think outside a box or multiple boxes. The deeper we go the more boxes will be created. Concepts like there’s nothing left or a colour we can’t imagine is a box. Because of this process we could be in an infinite cycle of boxes. We cannot truly find an answer. Anything can exist yet reality doesn’t exist. I may be wrong but it’s how I think.
The sentence at the end, you need loving people to give an honest opinion of your behaviours and actions, really opened my mind. By confronting people who want the best for you and have loving relationships you, you can find true honesty. And no matter how brutal it is, you can improve upon it because you know it comes from a place of love, not hate. A great way to improve yourself.
„Self awareness is useless if you’re not using it to ultimately reach a state of self acceptance.“ such an important conclusion!
Yes, agreed! I am of the opinion that self acceptance is the higher goal in a human life, as opposed to "self improvement." And self-awareness is our tool for that personal discovery. Just this last weekend I hosted my pen pal of 1.5 years. It was our first time ever meeting in person, and over the three days we were together, several times I saw myself reflected in their questions--and sometimes puzzlement--about how I operate in my home. Honestly, I took it personally more often than not and let it color our visit a bit, feeling inferior in several ways in comparison to them. But after dropping them off at the airport and returning home, I cracked open the journal and wrote down my raw take. That gave me a space to see what actually happened, how quickly my inferiority complex turns on when my actions are questioned by someone who is more rational/logical than I am, and it shed light on where I'm at in life (and where I've been). I'm not willing to simply accept that fragility (that came from a bruised ego, i think). But I am willing to accept that I do things in a way that make sense to me, and my ways of existing will not always be understood. As long as I'm not harming another life in the process, I'm ok with that!
I would disagree to the extent that self improvement is worth pursuing in almost any case, but you can obviously pick yourself apart and that is no good.
but then i question whether I've accepted myself or am just being complacent. Am I accepting flaws that are very difficult to change or am I lazy? And the answer is yes, I am too lazy to change, but then I continue to self-loathe. So I guess I'm just a self-indulging POS. I don't want to be. I frustrate myself so much.
This is such a golden nugget. Self-Love is the highest teaching. Love is the realization that there is no difference between anything... it is all good. We are here to expand our capacity to love, to love everything. The only reason why we cant is because of fear.
Ironically you cannot reach self acceptance through awareness.
Actually self acceptance is even easier if you don't have any self to begin with.. But obviously that's not the purpose.
Being aware to me almost means the same as a bunch of water being poured into a funnel. And as it gets poured; the water is doing a tornado around the funnel before slowly making it towards the middle where it falls off into the tube that goes down wherever. Basically information gets poured in and we hold onto it for a bit while it still goes towards the middle and drains out. Being used to that information being poured, there are little chips or cracks in the funnel that determine how the water/information reacts at that certain point. It's in other words a condition or thing about it that makes the rest change ever so slightly. I see those cracks or cuts in the funnel as us. The knowledge and information about anything will always exist far beyond containment or realm. That's all God is. Just truth and knowledge and information, which can only be the purest form of love given that only information ABOUT something is not the intention, but holding those memories of every angle give light to appreciation and acceptance to what they are and how they work individually and as a whole. Knowing the start and end of something allows you to better understand the scope of it and how you can cherish it in all that it is.
Anyway, being aware just means being able to convert and regurgitate some amount of information to maintain a status quo. If you were actually aware, it might be like completely wiping any thought or inclination of "self" way out of the equation and not having to guess or follow sets of principles in order to achieve.
This is especially true for people with OCD. Having to reconcile every intrusive thought, unfeel every negative feeling. Trying to control everything all the time, completely in vain.
that's too accurate.
trying to balance not letting the intrusive thoughts destroy you emotionally and not just completely turning your emotions off is… too much. i had mine turned off for a pretty long time and in the past couple years i've been learning to feel/accept my emotions and it can be so overwhelming.
YOOOOO never related more to a comment
TRUE
EXACTLY
@@marnenotmarnie259 very hard balance. idk how im gonna to it tbh ://
ive always been a person who tries hard to understand my own actions or emotions but lately its been too much, its like i cant turn it off, im always selfaware and think things about whatever im doing or experiencing wich stops me from actual living the moment like being relaxed or being happy. I dont really know what to do because it seems like i cant get out of my head, I feel trapped no matter where or with who I am...
There's a difference between being self-aware and being self-conscious. Sounds like you are experiencing the latter. Try not to be so critical with yourself and just do you. Being self-aware has more to do with how you notice others reacting to you and if you are all vibing, and adjust your behavior accordingly.
If it really impacts the quality of your life I'd advise a trip to the doctor. Intrusive thoughts, thought spirals and the like can be symptoms of depression or anxiety disorders. Best thing to do, is to sort those things out before they get to severe.
A rogue idea could be doing something a little further from your comfort zone/ usual patterns that brings you out of your thoughts as you are made to focus on something or are mentally stimulated. Things like this can bring you rip you back into the present.
(idk if you're anywhere near some trampolines/ zip wires/ rock climbing/ rollercoasters- I suggest these because speed and/or heights work for me. I also find that an occasional cold shower can do the same as well, just make it at least a lil uncomfortable)
you might have anxiety, or idk. I am not a professional. Do consider talking with someone about this. And maybe seek the help of a therapist or a counselor.
exactly this!!! feels kinda good to see others experience the same or smth similar. it's like spiraling down a trail of self awareness and the more you get into it the worse it gets. for me it's like constantly observing myself and my impact on others from the outside and its starting to haunt me
I am selfaware to a point that I don't even consider myself as me . Sometimes I look in the mirror and get uncomfortable . Whenever I am getting good at some I become more aware to how I am doing it and suddenly I can't do the same anymore.
same here
I forget how to act
Same here any leads or idea how to get over it , would be glad if you share more
Being self-aware is great until you realise you've been rationalising how you feel instead of actually feeling the emotions, that's what i realised lately in therapy! I still think being self-aware is a great tool and personally how I find meaning and fulfilment in why I do what I do :) Not all the time though, sometimes you have to stop reading between the lines and just let go a bit!!
i feel like i have done this for so long that i no longer feel or at least not as intensely as i did, is there any way to get over this?
@@anaochoa idk how i got here but i thought myself into a hole over the past year, to the point of i was so uncomfortable in my own skin i dissociated for almost a year straight and forgot i could feel anything at all. but yr still in there, u jus have to find ur feelings and yrself again, don't shame yrself or talk yrself down due to what you've begun to perceive as feeling wrong. idk if it makes sense, i seem to have built these neural pathways of self criticism / analysis and it's a matter of rewiring urself to not feel like u have to police your own feelings in harmful ways. and jus figure out who u are outside of that again
Self-awareness is actually all about letting go. Consciousness is much greater when you’re not focused on your mind, your mind is not your self, your self should, at it’s best, be in full control of your mind. That can only happen once you really realize you aren’t your mind, which you can only do through love and acceptance of all things, and a desperate need to rid yourself of the toxins of subconscious habits.
Holy crap
@@Marquisla this
This is pretty random but I really struggled with excessive introspection for a longgg time, like i was stuck in that way of thinking from my elementary school days till about sophomore year. One day I was talking to my science teacher in 9th grade (Freaking awesome dude) and I was trying to explain my thought process the best i could as a smol lil freshman, and I ended up telling him that I always ask why to pretty much everything. Why this why that, why do i love the people I do and why do they love me, why do we try our best and why do some people never succeed, ect. He thought about it for a moment and he told me "instead of asking why, ask how". I know that sounds pretty simple but that honestly blew me away. "How" is constructive, building the causes into effects, while "why" is deconstructive, breaking down the effect to figure out the cause. When your trying to break down why people love you or why you act the way you do, you end up just losing the question in the first place, like your feeling of purpose or even your feelings toward yourself and others. Instead I feel like you should ask how do people love you, how I am going to live my life, how do people become happy, how do you recover from something really hard, because that way you can find your own answers. They are your questions after all.
Just felt like sharing thanks for reading :>
I aint readin ... allat.. But we up 100
@DAVON Very much agreed
Damn, that's fantastic
This is great advice, thank you!!
Thank you, that really helped me. I’m trying to remember how and not why. I always ask myself just why something happened
Ironically enough, I was doubtful about uploading this because I wasn't even sure if what I was saying made proper sense lol. Glad to see it's resonating with some of you and I'm super happy to see so many new names n faces here!!
I've been struggling with this realisation for over a year. No one around me seems to understand my point and it left my doubting the very nature of reality. Thanks for this upload.
Metacognition will mess you up.
Have you any thoughts on time/space and how it effects our thoughts?
bro you are amazing, thanks alot for the video, its a pretty deep and nice topic to think about and my day is better today after watching your video, will share it with friends
ua-cam.com/video/fzo5xJ05Wbk/v-deo.html Everything Is Inevitable
Glad to be here 😎🙏🖤
This made me realize I’m not actually as self aware as I thought. I’m a very introspective person and in my own head a lot, but tend to fall into the trap of ruminating on negative thoughts about myself, or trying to come up with a reason for why I’m allowed to feel sad or angry or whatever. This was pretty helpful and put things into words really nicely!
i've always tried so hard to use self-awareness to get better but in the process i hadn't noticed i've been putting myself down by rejecting who i was in the present and thinking that i needed "fixing", "Self-awareness is only helpful when it brings us self acceptance" Woah this really hits hard, thanks for this video and keep up the good work.
I remember having a mind-blowing moment one day when I considered that maybe I am not actually broken!
I’ve been described as hyper-self-reflective because I constantly monitor all my thoughts and feelings, as well as my behavior and try to act as “normal” as possible. I Think about how others perceive me, make sure I’m sitting in an acceptable way, giving adequate eye contact etc etc - turns out I’m autistic! I’m just really really good at masking it, and it’s absolutely burning me out trying to “be myself” but in the “right” way depending on the audience I’m with. It’s tons and tons of tiny calculations trying to not seem like a weirdo. Now I’m working on accepting that I’m a weirdo, and just owning that instead of being terrified of what people might think…
This could be me
ikr i have this issue as well i adjust myself according to everyone and how they are perceiving me how i want them to perceive me and sometimes i ask myself which is the real me i can pretty much related with everything u said lol
Omg, reading the first few sentences I was like ….this is AUTISM! And then I read that you’re autistic. I have the same experiences and I was just diagnosed. I couldn’t believe that everyone didn’t navigate the world that way and it was actually “just me.” But it’s very freeing to have that explanation
Ye man so my olders brothers were deemed to be in special ed and for some reason i wasnt, but 27 now and i straight up think i just masked it really really well. Idk i cant diagnose myself so idk 🤷♂️
I am not diagnosed But I have moments EXACTLY like this… Probably wont ever get diagnosed as my parents wont believe it but. It gets pretty bad sometimes but I have to reel myself back in. I kinda don’t wanna get diagnosed because I will just use it as an excuse. Maybe it will go away maybe it wont.
"self-awareness is only useful if it helps you be a better person", and "self-awareness is useless if you're not using it to ultimately reach a state of self-acceptance"... i really needed that
That last point you made about self-awareness only being helpful if it brings us to self acceptance is so key!! a lot of times I personally feel like I am being introspective and evaluating myself in order to change rather than to understand. So to have those words spoken out loud it’s just a reminder that the growth is good we should still make a conscious effort to love ourselves where we are.
As Karl Jung said "Human goal shouldn't be perfection but Wholeness, to accept one's deepest and darkest instincts as part of who we truly are "
A hateful mind won’t take care of its body or it’s environment.
“We are not always right , we are definitely not always right about ourselves” never thought about it like that ! I needed to hear that ! Great video
“We’re always right, but we’re not always right about ourselves” gave me chills for sure
We're not always right* 😆
Bro is self-aware of his self-awareness. I've been self-aware, but not self-aware of my self-awareness, so its just been taxing my energy without me realizing. Kind of like a parasite that you don't know of; it explains why I've been exhausted and a bit depressed. Well now that you showed me that I have a parasite, I can remove it. Thanks for the vid. I never would've realized the problem was me.
Oh, I love your format! As a former academic, I deeply appreciated you showing the viewer your research process, in particular the highlighting. And as a chronic overthinker and someone who is definitely too self-aware, thank you! Finding meaning in EVERYTHING can be exhausting - sometimes not everything means something, haha.
It's difficult to not ask why :)
The vast majority of the time it does though. What are you supposed to do, just ignore it? Once you see the matrix there's no going back.
The structure and style of your videos are impeccable. As someone who can’t help but get bored of lazily scripted/ structured videos yours are so simple yet incredibly engaging. Thank you.
that expains my identity crisis .. I'm constantly doubting all my thoughts about myself yet I'm also an overthinker, well no wonder
One of the core tenets of OCD is knowing that your obsessions and compulsions are irrational and yet doing them anyway. Self awareness has been a curse so far in that regard.
Hey just wondering how your getting on with this thanks
This channel is a hidden gem. Remember me when you'll be famous :p
haha how nice of you! Appreciate the support bro !!
100%. The quality and the level of thought and ideas he’s able to articulate is really enjoyable.
When I first saw this video i thought he had 600k subs. Great content!
ua-cam.com/video/fzo5xJ05Wbk/v-deo.html Everything Is Inevitable
Gem you say ? I guess I’ll follow
thank u for this. recently I've been really confused with myself and my handling of emotions, and this really helped me. i tend to overanalyze myself and my emotions, and the thought of emotions happening without a reason is very relieving. its so much easier to simply be sad than to get all worked up trying to understand why.
“Excessive introspection” is such a good word for what I do and I’ve never known what to do about it. I’m going to look into the book you mentioned. Thanks!
Rumination on any subject is emotionally and intellectually regressive.
I loved this. In ACT therapy, my therapist teaches me that a lot of this analysis is my brain trying to protect me through finding patterns and sense. I’ve learned to treat a lot of it as background noise and not waste so much energy on it. I’ve also learned the phrase “if it works, good! If it doesn’t, toss it. “
Amazingly timely video for me. I’ve been struggling with depersonalization+derealization over the last few years as a result of an anxiety disorder. Part of the issue is the obsessive introspection. This video definitely shed some new light on the issue. Thank you.
I struggle with the same thing. Do you have anything that has helped you cope with it?
I also struggle with the same thing.. the only thing that seems to work for an extended period of time is a really good acid trip on rare occasion, this is just me tho others are probably different
Bro it’s just not that deep, all there is
@@turolretar that is horrible advice 👍
Now imagine having DPDR and a Chronic Brain fog with Dementia like symptoms at 23 since 20.
Its not living. Its existing, without any purpose but suffering for no reason whatsoever and frankly, I hate it here. Forget connecting to anyone and their emotions when u cant even connect to urs.
My understanding in using introspection towards myself is basically this: Don't examine yourself to necessarily fix yourself (though sometimes there can be things that need fixing), examine yourself to understand how to apply yourself to your surroundings. I am piece A, find a slot where piece A fits. Do not force yourself to fit in slot B if it doesn't work.
not everyone thinks they're self-aware though; I never even knew of, let alone understood the concept until I fell into deep depression at 26, and started voraciously reading things about cognitive behavioral therapy and such.
Took me 2 years to finally realize what self-awareness was after that, and I still am probably not aware most of the time of most of my aspects.
What dis you learn through all those readings?
I assume I'm walking the path you took, can you please recommend me some book on cognitive behavioral therapy.
And probably not everyone has the good kind of self-awareness. Up until 24, all my self-awareness came from random posts on the internet, youtube videos like this one. I did kind of have self-awareness, but it was so bad, I always wished I was just ignorant of it all. Then I started reading psychotherapy books, and just understanding how your brain makes you think the thoughts you feel and why, relating to some of the cases in the books, thinking about scenarios in your life related to those books. I no longer saw my insecurities, my flaws, my defects as bad, just as part of human nature. People on the internet will always want clicks and views, and they will romanticize, dramatize and distort everything, whether they realize it or not. A trained psychotherapist who spent 40+ years of their life analyzing human behavior, actually healing and helping people all their lives, senses some patterns youtubers don't. And those kind of people writing a few books after so much experience in that field doesn't even compare to a youtube video some guy did.
These kind of videos are good because they introduce strangers to the field, but in my opinion, they should just be taken as entertainment.
@@AlexAlex-km9db thanks a lot for your message, really!
Then, do you have books to recommend from the people with experience?
@@jenesaisvraimentpasquoimet8473 The Denial of Death, Fear of Life, Our Inner Conflicts, Neurosis and Human Growth, The Meaning of Anxiety, Man's Search for Himself, Man's Search for Meaning, Personality Shaping Through Positive Disintegration.
Some of the ones that stuck with me.
I once saw this quote online, and I don’t know who wrote it but it changed how I perceive myself now.
“You aren’t self-aware, you’re self centered.”
It’s obviously a bad thing, but if you are so aware to the point it’s always about you, how you act, how you look, how you talk, then you are just simply self centered, and maybe you don’t intend to be but it is affecting you and other people.
Hard to accept but this is facts. Loving yourself you automatically have an ego....
i think a lot of people need to hear this. self centered isnt always intentional, it just means that you are so obsessed with the image of yourself, whether its good or bad. i dont know how to find the balance between complete lack of self awareness and ego
@@SkylarStJohn-mo4yi that's true but it's definitely a negative self centeredness. A nauseating worry that i've earned myself a 'legacy' of cringe behavior
I've always known I'm self centered, I sometimes forget other people exist lol. But without being self centered also allow for self awareness? Meaning they can both be true? Anyway, we're all different, I'm convinced that the world isn't the same for all of us and if that influences who we are it's hard to find a baseline for what awareness is.
i sort of agree but really dislike it when some people have told me this in the past, like my obsession with how i look/social anxiety/fear of others' perception of me etc isn't selfishness, it's an unstoppable cycle of genuine suffering and self sabotaging. being told i'm self-centered has just added to my guilt and self hatred. people who are too self-aware are victims of their own minds and i don't know why some other people try to insert themselves. i'm thankfully much better now tho and have learned to overcome my doubts to live my best life.
I kinda disagree with " a lot of our emotions occur for no reason...." i believe there is always a reason that we just don't know. idk if it's just me but i believe that there's always a reason for every thing but we shouldn't stress ourselves trying to find one. there will be times that we won't clearly know why sth happened or why we feel the way we feel but that doesn't contradict the fact of the existence of a reason.
I see your pov and I really enjoyed the vid although it's kinda odd for you not to have many subscribers !!!!!
I had the same reaction to that statement as well. To echo your sentiment, but restated: I believe it's impossible to fully understand why we feel some way. So many things happen during a day, week, or a life-time, that we can't possibly connect all the dots. I think emotions are the way that our subconscious communicates that something important is happening to us, and we should take a course of action. Self-awareness isn't about understanding; it's about control.
Take 'anger', for instance: When I became a parent, anger seemed to make more sense. When my child became old enough to be disrespectful or willfully defiant, I felt anger. It's very closely related to frustration, but not the same. Frustration is like when your baby won't stop crying and you don't know what to do. Anger is when you tell your kid to do something, but they look you dead in the eye and tell you "No." I had to process my feelings of anger towards my formerly soft, mushy, precious, little baby now back-talking me with regularity. I always viewed anger as irrational and weak. But it dawned on me...anger, and emotions in general, are just normal signals coming from a deeper, more instinctual part of your human mind. You should listen to your emotions and take them under advisement, but never let them drive the ship. When you let them take control, then you become weak and irrational.
I think "self-awareness" isn't so much about 'why' you feel emotions, but 'what' you should do when you feel it. Trying to figure out 'why' often leads to out of control spirals of deeper and deeper introspection that cripples you and prevents you from taking action. Take the uppity, disrespectful child that complained about the plate of food you just prepared for them, and then tossed on the floor in defiance to your commands to "Just eat it." You could sit down later and think: "Why did I get angry? My parents got angry with me when I was a child. Am I perpetuating a cycle of anger? Do I have an anger issue? Is it normal to feel this way?" But your anger is the alarm bell that is going off deep down in the very fiber of your being that is telling you that if your child is going to become a respectful, functioning member of society that other people want to love and be around, then they can't throw their food around. The 'why' is solved for you. You're angry because someone very important to you is making a bad decision and is in need of guidance. Instead you need to decide what to do about it. The wrong reaction is to fly off the handle and start screaming. You can figure out your own way to the "right" solution, but when you feel anger you know something noteworthy is taking place, and you need to take action.
Think about what your experience would be like if you didn't feel anything. How would you know where to go? When would you know you found something worth doing? When would you realize you were around people that are bringing you harm?
@@tet2755 commenting to say this was such a great read, thank u for this 🌸
Agree
@@emotionsin5d I agree with you, I also see where they both come from.. We are prisoners of our symbolic systems
@@joeyondakeys that's what i said. The reason being indeterminable doesn't contradict its existence , there is always a reason
(Edit: warning for long long comment lol)
This is one of the things I’ve struggled with a lot recently, constantly trying to explain the reasoning behind my behavior and finding more and more that I don’t know or understand exactly why I feel how I feel. I like to think I’ll always be able to rationally figure it out, there will always be a cause and effect, and while I think it’s mildly true, it’s not true on the scale i think it is. If I’m depressed even when life is going fairly well, think “well, i must be depressed right now because I’m a selfish person and nothing is never enough for me” while it could just be, you know, the mental illness. Or my diet, or how much time I’ve spent in the sun recently, or how many friendly faces I’ve seen in the past month, or any combination of factors that I can’t just directly *think* my way out of in the moment.
If you’re very introspective with a low self esteem, it can basically lead to you turning yourself into a monster and finding the worst ways of explaining your actions. I wonder to myself “why is it so hard for me to ask for help?” And my brain goes “Well of course it’s because you WANT to be broken so you can have an excuse to keep being lazy and not own up to your actions. It’s because you can’t handle the truth that when you go to a therapist they will tell you nothing is really wrong with you and everything that’s happening is your fault and there is no treatment for it. It’s because in the end you are a selfish person and you don’t want to better yourself.” And what does that do? It doesn’t make me want to seek help, it makes me self isolate, because i keep telling myself that I alone have to think my way out of this hole I’m in, that I alone can figure out what’s going on and fix it.
It basically goes from being self aware to just self critical. My internal dialogue most of the time is more like a mean-spirited film critic that’s reading into every action with the most bad-faith interpretation possible. I can’t always explain my own emotions, and I don’t always have to, I just have to work with them. It’s rough and it’s incredibly difficult to accept and I certainly haven’t gotten that through my head fully but I try.
(On the note of being overly aware of how you come off to people, I’ve realized I do it to an extent that it basically becomes “mind reading”, where I’m sure I know how other people are perceiving me until I directly hear from them that I’m wrong. I’ll think “my friend must hate me right now for not calling him, i can’t talk to him until I’m emotionally ready to hear him tell me he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore because he probably despises me so much” and when I finally talk to the friend they’re like “actually I’ve been super concerned for you!” And I realize like… oh yeah… I actually don’t know what the fuck anyone else is thinking bc my self esteem is incredibly warped.)
oh god, i think i feel the exact sane
Thank you for this comment, your second paragraph is exactly the process i struggle with. We will both get through this 🤙🏽
Just like me fr fr
I understand what you are saying and relate to it but my advice is don’t think of yourself as one entitiy. It just does not work that way. You are not subjectives like selfish,lazy.. ect. You are complicated human. I personally think of myself as garden where there is good seed and bad ones. When I make mistakes, I cultivate the bad seeds and make them grow. When I repent and promise to never repeat it, I cut them. But if did not grow the good seeds, bad ones will just grow right away. I personally feel like I have grown the bad ones more often in the past 15 years. But lately it has been a year now that I feel I’m growing the good ones more than before. It will take long time to grow any because I will have long time trimming the bad ones and their effects might always be there. But I will never stop trying to grow the good ones until i die.
This is too relatable…
Such a great pace and progression of content. You deserve so much more attention!
Much appreciated!
Ive reached a singularity in my mind where my perspective of myself inside to out is so over analysed that I no longer feel anything, I exhibit external signs of happy or sad responses like a robot mimicking human response to satisfy others around me, but in reality I'm void inside completely unfeeling and it's a paradox I've dug myself into without a ladder to escape from.
I'm very self aware, I lived my live since 10 years (Now I'm 20) thinking about my problems and getting awareness of myself. Just recently I saw that, in reality, all that self awareness don't really matter that much if you learn two things:
1 - Live in the moment by changing your brain from a Survival Mode to a Learning Mode state;
2 - The best way to solve a trauma, or any problematic thing that you're dealing with, is by letting it go past through you. When you learn to let things go, and don't let them make you their prisoner, and don't let them stop you from living your present, that's the moment you'll see how really important it's to instead of thinking about things you simply accept them and move on.
But self awareness is pretty cool tho, it's a really good tool to spot any problem quickly and being a more empathetic human being.
And you are 20??? Hmmmm Pls pls always be you dear!!!!! I would have given everything away just to be your mother. May Allah always bless you in your life journey. Love and Respect from Ethiopia!!!
@@Hihi-fd9hr Ohh, thank you! You're so kind! ❤
I feel this all the time. As if I’m constantly being watched, or as if I say what emotions should be happening and then they don’t. Like at a funeral I say “I need to cry” then I feel empty when I don’t cry
true self awareness is realizing that there is no "self" at the center of experience. Just experience itself
🤫
Worst part of being self-aware in my opinion was the realisation that I was too self-aware for therapy to help me. I was in therapy for two years and it did nothing because everything I was told about myself, I’d long figured out.
I've been more on the self introspective side my entire life and it has definitely lead me down the path of self admonishing thoughts and behaviors that overall had a more negative impact on my happiness and quality of life than actually improving myself. I changed myself to be a more kind and caring individual six or so years ago now and have generally become that person, at least I hope so. I've been doing an awful lot of introspective thinking this past month especially as my girlfriend of 4 and a half years and I were having relationship issues and it's definitely caused me to look inwards once more and grow. I feel more self aware knowing that the way I view our relationship and how we could fix things or the reasons why I think things happened is entirely a construct of my own mind informed by all of my experiences and views in life and as such I have tried to avoid entering that trap you mention towards the end of the video. I've been consuming so much information to try and make sense of the turmoil in my life in order to bring me some comfort. Sorry for over sharing a bit, it's just been a lot for me to go through at the ripe age of 23 going on 24 this November and I have spoken to friends and strangers alike about the traumas of my life and the recent drama with my partner and I know it has been very helpful to me to let it all out and I feel the more I share my true self with others the more I can both grow and maybe even selfishly feel like I can help others take a look inwards while I'm at it. I truly believe people are at our best when we can be honest with one another and most importantly honest with ourselves without convincing ourself of a comfortable narrative of our lives.
Loved the vid btw and I'm currently going through and binging the rest as I slowly but surely fall back asleep
love what you put down here. I hope you're doing better. Your thoughts make me reflect on a few things about myself too. Thank you for sharing!
Absolutely omg
What if all your thoughts are just in your head meaning the whole world around you is nothing but a projection of your thoughts..
Look inside, who is inside you, who is the one thinking can you see the being underneath the thinking?
What if there is something beyond yourself. This emptiness. This presence.
I am extremely self aware without even knowing it about everything and myself, so much that there was this split of self. Almost like the thinker the ''me'' seemed to vanish into something much greater then myself. There is a greater you beneath all the thinking.
If reality that you see is your interpretation then where is the real reality? Doesn't that mean that you are living in your head? There is a constant reality outside but its blurred by your owns thoughts of what that reality is. What if you could see reality without your past collective memories. What if you just see it, as it is in that moment.
What if you realize that every human behaviour is moved by the wanting's to be loved and accepted, then is everything governed by love then since even hate comes from wanting to be loved/understood?
Anyhow realize that right now that voice in your head, is it even you? What if you dissociate from that voice. What if you aren't even that voice? What if there is something much deeper within you? All yourself to dissolve into that presence. All your worries and insecurities are just all in your head.
I see what you mean. Just talking aloud about our problems can help us to feel more connected
Learning too much, thinking too much, and too much information, made me anxious for years. It's not healthy to think too much.
Reading all these comments makes me feel so much less alone because I can finally see people that can relate to me that others in my life cannot understand.
"We're not always right. And we're *definitely* not always right about ourselves." Such an important statement. 😳🤗🤗
Self awareness is not the problem it’s the solution, the problem is your suffering 2 things, a very good memory and a vivid sense of imagination, take charge of this and self awareness will be your gold mine
As a fellow with OCD, i have developed an obsession with finding truth of myself, as well as too much "introspection" and analysis of my thoughts and behaviors. Its a hard thing to slip out of, because being self aware is always great and looking on who we are is as well, but too much of a good thing leads you down a spiral and constant checks to see if we really are who we think we are and compulsions to constantly reassess
i had no idea this was common in ppl with ocd! ive been working on trying to get diagnosed recently, it comforts me that other ppl think this way.
You know what's funny, is people like us with OCD actually have heightened self awareness because we're constantly in our minds.
I can relate to an extent. You’re not alone. Reassure yourself youre in control of your own thoughts and please speak to yourself openly about what is bothering you, and trust me you’ll be fine from there on. Stay calm and don’t try to be too deep into moment, just being alive and analyzing is key to living a beautiful life
@@Bidness32 dude it's a disorder it's hard to just reassure myself in the way others who don't have the same disorders do
OCD has been called "the disease of doubt." Even most psychiatrists don't understand how deeply it permeates the personality. Even more so than obsessions and compulsions, excessive uncertainty is the most widespread hallmark of the disease
As an experienced person with 40 years old I guarantee that young people should be taught that early in their lifetimes: overthinking happens naturally and leads to feeling tired, axiousness and often worsen our mental processes instead of improving since we also naturally move towards what is familiar to us... in other words, our biases. Good content, @Fads !
I remember growing up in a harsh family situation, and that, the need to adjust to it ultimately led me to ditch some of my own personality traits that made my experience of life happier. Being aware of this didn't change the fact that I did fall into my own bias of knowing how I felt living my life was meant to be vs. how I figured I might ba able to survive in this world. I also have OCD and this has led me to ruminate for a long time about why I have given myself up to this uncaring version of myself, of my self. Basically, I gave too much in order to fit in, and didn't know how to step back into who I knew I wanted to be. I love this video. Thank you!!
This is so me, yet eh therapy is a luxury and Im too young to get or try to get therapy so eh
Definitely reached a point where I’m self-aware of all of my shortcomings, which may humble me, but I think I do it out of some weird obligation-as if fixating on my own flaws will make others not notice them as much. They still do. 😅
maybe try to expand your self awareness past just your flaws. and use that awareness of your flaws to come up with possible solutions or improvements. if your self awareness is only of flaws that you can’t change, then you have a very narrow sense of self awareness
@@ghosts288 i think what I meant was simply more along the lines of being self aware of my own shortcomings. Since typically people who *aren’t* self-aware are the ones who are completely oblivious of their flaws/blindspots
@@jadedjimmy i would argue that a majority of people are overly aware of their flaws and shortcomings. but very few actually take action to change them or change the way they view the ones that are uncontrollable.
@@ghosts288 okay we must have different experiences then, because most of the time when I hear someone talk about someone else who “isn’t very self aware”, they’re referring to their inability to see their own flaws, can’t read a room, isn’t considerate of others, that sort of thing.
@@jadedjimmy and you think there are a lot of people like that?
I've never considered that my empathy and altruism could lead me down a path of creating and justifying my own view of myself in such a negative way. I think it might be at the core of why I criticize myself so harshly when I feel that I have failed people or let them down or hurt them unintentionally.
It's a fine line between self-awareness and self-absorption. I fluctuate between the two. For me, self-awareness means having a basic knowledge as to why I feel this way or that way (the reasons within the reasons), and how my words and actions affect others. A basic perception as to how one appears to others is also useful, to help navigate being in a society, but it can quickly become a prison. As I get older, I'm losing interest in how other people interpret me, whether or not I'm 'acceptable' or 'cool.' Couldn't really give a rat's ass anymore. Most people bore me, as superficial unconscious zombies. 'Real' people are hard to find.
being boring doesn't equal superfical ur just too judgy
Absolutely agree. It doesn't matter how other people interpret you unless it threatens your job stability or something. The reason people end up seeming superficial is precisely because they dissolve into herd mentality by caring too much about what other people think and conforming to those around them. Ironically, that's not self-awareness. It's basically self-erasure.
you sound a lil bit narcissistic to me
Aren’t you too cool for school 😎
@@ghosts288 Its the opposite or narcissistic to not care what people think about you, people who are narcissistic care so much and there fore put others down to feel better.
I just realized the title is basically the same thing I told my gf about. I told her that I'm so done with everything happened to me, everything I understood and endured them. So I'd rather choose not knowing anything, or atleast pretend to be dumb than to seek out deeper meanings and realizations. Ironically, it saved my life.
I used to try and “define” myself by using these metaphors. Imagery and aesthetics that resonated with me at the time became my identity. And I lost the point of being self-aware. I didn’t know what my problems were, how to solve them, how I came off to others and what I wanted in my life.
I was stuck in my own head and needed to escape. I achieved this by just doing things. I wanted my actions to guide me. When I did something I thought about how that thing made me feel, if it somehow resonated the same way those metaphors did. And with this method I managed to surround myself with people, objects, hobbies and interests that are now important parts of me. This time those feelings of appreciation and belonging are real. Not online, not tied to a Wi-Fi connection. They are real.
Fun fact - "The Oracle" in the Matrix was based upon a lady who Ive been visiting here in my Australian hometown for years. She is actually of Greek origin and still, despite her failing health, performs homemade tarot card readings in her kitchen. She like to chain smoke Marlboro reds and always offers you a cup of thick black greek coffee. Thought I'd share :)
the what now
I love how your conclusion is essentially, Be more self aware about how you use self awareness.
Self awareness needs to come with science & education & growth. Introspection when you're ignorant of how the brain works or of what tools help you is not gonna get as much progress & peace.
I’ve only watched a couple of your videos, but they’ve all left me with a sense of hope and optimism. I’m not the happiest person, I never have been, and the internet frequently only serves to exacerbate this issue. Thank you for making content that is meant to build people up and not tear them down.
I literally am in therapy because I have got fatigued about the narratives about myself, self-awareness stuff. This video is useful. Thank you. I am really finding it hard to be human, and overcoming my guilt of doing things wrong.
do we ever come to the point where our narrative about ourselves is fixed or constant, or is it always just a costant search? i am about to embark on a self-discovery journey, but i feel llike i might just be getting myself into a hole that i might not be able to come out of
i struggle a lot with being self aware on my lonely days, “internal logic” is something that makes my take on current relationship w my bf becomes harder than i thought, but hearing u saying “self awareness is useless when you can’t reach self acceptance” really resonate so much with me, i feel enlightened. thank you
I like self awareness, it made me realise bas thought patterns and stuff, but also overthink every thought I have and overthinking my overthinking a.k.a trying to find the "why" of stuff that have no meaning aside from just popping up. Ty for this one!
The part where you talked about wanting to be able to make a trail back to the cause of your emotions really hit home with me. Maybe sometimes we are just sad for no reason.
This video just came up on my recommended and I'm so happy it did. Great analysis, and well-structured video. Confirmed a lot of things for me too! I always thought I was extremely self-aware due to OCD and a rumination compulsion that made me inspect every thought, but I realized recently that became almost too self-aware and therefore totally unaware as a result LOL so it's funny that you and the research lady confirmed that. Keep these videos up!
An ongoing cycle of having an existential crisis from extreme self-awareness, and then rejection
This is why meditation calls for quieting the mind, NOT introspection or "mindfulness". Loved your video, it's impressive how deep and rich it was in such a short time. Suscribing now!
Interresy I have seen in many places that meditation = mindfulness. I haven't seen those two as separate!
@@_linlin_ They are very similar
Sam Harris defines mindfulness as a sort of effortless focus, while meditation is that focus directed towards stillness and your cognition
So meditation is mindfulness but mindfulness is not meditation
Once you quiet your own mind you're helpless but to intake the white noise of other minds. There's no choice other than mindfulness once you've crossed that border, the only other way is to become everyone.
Meditation is attention control practice, regardless of whether mindful or mindlessness. Good catch that mindful actually means thinking a lot, not the empty mind it's usually taken for.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporesss
felt like i was going insane for a bit cause i thought i was alone with these thoughts/ideas. honestly made me cry to know theres people out there who struggle with the circle of self awareness. for years now ive wished i could go back to living in the moment and not having to break so much down, its honestly ruined so much for me. but i guess it is what it is.
Hey just wondering how you’re getting on with this thanks
@@jamesjohnstone1224 i will say its gotten better. ive quit smoking weed and that definitely brought me back to reality quite a bit. its just the rare occasion of me not feeling real that still bothers me a bit but i dont get as much anxiety from it as i used to. ive somewhat been able to let go of a lot of things that used to hold me back and be able to go with the flow like i used to be able to do. and ive more so been able to accept perceptions are going to always be different and i find it beautiful in a sense, but also scary at how vast those opinions can vary and how extreme and harmful they can be. i just have to come back to the fact that i cant control everyones thoughts and its not my job to.
@@weebnugget682 How's it going? Sometimes I also wish that I could go back to actually living in the moment like I always did before instead of ruminating about each interaction and feelings I have be it past, present, or future.
The way you approached this video was so creative… you had me hooked from the first second! So glad I came across you, excited to watch more of your videos.
Thanks so much for the support!! Sorry I got to this comment so late!
This is really comforting to know because now I know I’m not the only one. I’ve been trying to teach myself I speak up more, communicate with others properly, set boundaries, be aware of my behaviors, etc. especially after Covid because my mental health got so much more worse. I had (and still have to) explore who I am and why I do certain things. I’ve been diagnosed with many different things ever since I was little, and I was aware of that, but not aware to the extent of why I have those things. I’ve spent so much time in these 3 years after Covid of trying to figure out who I am and it’s lead me to think I’m a bad person because of very small things I do. I’ve definitely gone to the point where I’ve been hyper focused on each little behavior. If I do anything that can be considered mean in anyway i feel horrible. I’ve been trying to figure out how to get out of this hole I’ve dug myself into. I told my friend to nudge me when I apologize for something that I didn’t need to apologize for, so I think that’s a good step in the right direction? I will definitely be keeping this video in mind
so grateful that you opened up this discussion on here and gave overly self-aware people, such as myself, a place to connect
I developed and used to use being self-aware purely as a way to both hate myself and be better at life, and after years I'v3 started to drop the former. I don't know where I heard this but I'v3 always kept this in my head:
"Self awareness is the first step to recovery"
in my exploration of self awareness, the more self aware you become the easier your life becomes and the more successful you can be, because you start to skip a lot of the middle ground of your processing. Like if you know your anger is only going to be limited and your not the type to hold a grudge you can just skip feeling angry all together and skip to the part where you forget about it and move on. But somehow that feels incomplete, like there's a lack of catharsis or something like it. Sometimes its better just to live as you naturally feel and not think to hard about it.
Another essential thing, is being aware of your habitual thought and emotion process and not trying to fight who YOU are.
For example, if you know you have a short temper keep & trying to force yourself to calm down when you're about to lose it, or get mad at yourself for feeling this way. Find ways to be proactive instead, like removing yourself from environments that can cause these emotions to flare. This is what I've learnt over the past few years.
Acceptance is the key to self growth.
I truly understand the saying ignorance is bliss. . I would love to be able to walk through life breathing out of my mouth blissfully unaware of both what's going on inside and around me like 99% of the rest of the inhabitants of this planet
self awareness reliably loads on emotional pain in the big 5 test.
turns out empaths might just have anxiety disorders. lol.
Heh 😅
Good explanation for the common man. This is a good perspective if you are seeking happiness, but I want more. I don't seek joy in life I seek understanding, but I cannot recommend people follow me because introspection is a bottomless pit. Although I think self awareness is good no matter your reason because understanding yourself allows you to act better.
I realized I can be so analytical when it comes to my own thoughts words and actions (and how they're perceived by others) that it affects the things I say- so fkn worried that other ppl would think I was wack that id say or do some shi that'd actually make them think that. life and all our experiences and interactions can literally be whatever we want we just have to bring that energy with authenticity and be fully present in it. great vid
self awareness to me is to be able to relate every thought or decision or even unconscious actions to past trauma.
knowing all what my unconsciousness is about. Knowing why i am the way i am. knowing thought patterns of myself. therefore applying it on others. living in 3rd person view
You got that right!
Idk if I self-reflect or self-ruminate but I'm sure about the fact that you deserve a lot more subscribers and views for the quality of the content you post.
So grateful I found this video. The past few months have been really hard because I’ve been so intensely introspective that I became a hypochondriac. I started to deeply feel every ache and pain and concern in my body and immediately went to the worst explanation. I’m only just like, this month coming out of that anxiety. It’s possible to be self-aware without pathologizing everything I experience
I needed to hear this! I'm an overthinker and sometimes introspection does more bad than good. I love your take and was surprised by the size of your channel. Just subscribed, look forward to watching more splendid videos!
Love love love this video and I don’t think I’ve ever heard or seen someone talk about this. Reflecting on your own emotions and actions is something that is usually seen as a positive thing. But nobody ever says the negatives of being too self reflective or aware of your thoughts. I’m definitely one of those people where my thoughts are loud and I’m constantly re evaluating my emotions, thoughts, actions. How my emotions effect the people around me and how they might be uncomfortable so I should’nt be open about my emotions. But at the same time why am I feeling this way? Why should I not show my emotions? Everything I do, say, feel, think have two sides and I think of every possible outcome that may come from it. It’s absolutely exhausting and ultimately makes me paralyzed. Unable to do anything. And I stay like this, inside my own head not thinking I’m being aware of myself and others but really I’m just in my own universe. I’ve been noticing I’d stop listening when people talked to me because I’d be thinking about what I just said and how I couldve said it differently. But I’m not even in the moment, not present in this conversation when I thought I was. It’s miserable. I’m going to a therapist because it’s really been affecting my self esteem and motivation to do anything. I’ve been spiraling in my own head and going into a deep depression and I’ve noticed it’s getting worse. Thank you for talking about this. It’s really an eye opener and the start to changing the way I think. It’s going to be hard but I really appreciate this video.
Thanks for the upload! I’m diagnosed with OCD, GAD, and depression. I can sort of recognize when I’m headed towards delusion. Before being diagnosed, I would chase my delusion, push people away, run away, etc. I would always jump to conclusion without my diagnosis. I am only 25, but I grew up fast, in inner cities, and joined the service at 17 to escape my environment. I’ve been in therapy, counseling, and psychiatry. I finally want to live, when my first suicide attempts started at age 5. Sadly we’re headed to a recession, but we’ll make it out. Wishing peace where peace is due 🙏🏽
Stay strong don’t overthink or try to be too perfect as perfection is not real, you matter and deserve to enjoy a beautiful life
Thank you for making this. For the past few years I've been going around in circles of striving for self-awareness and consequentially feeling hopeless about the person I am, hating the flaws I've become aware of, and feeling guilty and trapped in this flesh prison who can't socialize or make good decisions in life. It made me extremely hard on myself, to the point I feel like I am fundamentally broken, like I will never be able to completely fit in with others or truly be happy. All because I am constantly considering what I look and act like to other people. I'm aware of my faults and yet I continue to indulge in them. I told myself over and over again that once I understand the "why" behind why I'm the way I am, it will fix it. But you're absolutely right, sometimes there isn't an answer to that. Even when there is, that knowledge alone doesn't change the behavior. Self-awareness I believe can be useful in helping someone accept themselves and become a person that they enjoy being, but it is not the answer to the problem.
To see that someone else thinks about this kind of stuff too felt like a cry into the void that brought me back to reality, it made me feel like maybe I'm not as weird and broken as I thought. Maybe there is a way out of overthinking about self-awareness and my existence as a less-than-stellar human being.
this came up in my algorithm, love that.
I've been too self-aware and it makes me stuck in my head, terrified of each thoughts I have, I overthink every single little thing on bad days. Reading the comments it's nice to know I'm not alone. I have generalized anxiety disorder and possibly other mental issues. Ive been super self-aware to try and be a better person and to rationalize everything, but in the end I'm just living in my head and not letting the feelings come through me, just intellectualizing them. I've done a lot of self-work and progress I think! But evaluating every movement, thought, and feeling FOREVER doesn't bring me any good anymore. I need to learn to let go. It's fuckin' hard with anxiety and adhd to shut off the brain, but these days I'm doing a bit better! I have ups and downs. This video and the comments definetly helped me but still made me anxious and uncomfortable because it touches stuff that I'm anxious about. Thank you for making it! ♡
I recently dropped the "self" part and just settled on the awareness part. It feels like I'm watching inside and out and not judging any of it. I found that asking "why" about every thought is not productive because 99.9% thoughts are just junk or not worth the time spent on them. Great video btw.
What if all your thoughts are just in your head meaning the whole world around you is nothing but a projection of your thoughts..
Look inside, who is inside you, who is the one thinking can you see the being underneath the thinking?
What if there is something beyond yourself. This emptiness. This presence.
I am extremely self aware without even knowing it about everything and myself, so much that there was this split of self. Almost like the thinker the ''me'' seemed to vanish into something much greater then myself. There is a greater you beneath all the thinking.
If reality that you see is your interpretation then where is the real reality? Doesn't that mean that you are living in your head? There is a constant reality outside but its blurred by your owns thoughts of what that reality is. What if you could see reality without your past collective memories. What if you just see it, as it is in that moment.
What if you realize that every human behaviour is moved by the wanting's to be loved and accepted, then is everything governed by love then since even hate comes from wanting to be loved/understood?
Anyhow realize that right now that voice in your head, is it even you? What if you dissociate from that voice. What if you aren't even that voice? What if there is something much deeper within you? All yourself to dissolve into that presence. All your worries and insecurities are just all in your head.
@@nicolasruiz7054 Hello Non dualist
like 90% of our thoughts estimate is negative . i dont think we need to entertain all of em
This video was really nice to see. Having someone talk about something I’ve been with my whole life that I never really thought of but still had to deal with and feel more and more depressed by. It’s nice to have someone confirm it is a thing that exists
I'm too self aware and I love it. I use what I know and apply it to other people
And I'm very troubled so I can figure out a lot. I lived in my own head all my life and I'm 25.
are you really self aware when you subscribe to 892 channels just because they told you to?
I only sub ones i like watching frequently and unsub ones i haven't seen in a few years. i currently only sub 123 channels.
i really dont care if you look at which ones. we have some in common.
even with 123 subed channels its impossible to watch everything they upload.
@@darkshadowsx5949 self awareness being boiled down to something as minute and simple as subscription count doesn't make sense
I haven't reached the point of my self-awareness where I start hating it, yet. It has given me a sense of understanding about myself and self-reflecting has been good entertainment when staring into space. Then again I'm in my early 20s so I dread that it's gonna haunt me when I age.
I've noticed this works really well in believing in a cycle, you wake up and go to bed. Suppose you train your brain to see small things like these in our day-to-day lives. In that case, it can open up a wide variety of all different kinds of emotions and this is very enlightening as it can lead to so many different learning experiences which only build up you in the end.
i dont try to achieve peak self awareness for happiness, i strive for it because the person i was before christ saved me wasnt the greatest guy. yeah, i didnt have the best hands dealt to me but ive learned and grown so much from being more self aware. i dont think anyone can be too self aware, it matters on the purpose you have driving the navigation. we all should strive to be our best selves to contribute to our communities around us ❤ god bless man and heres to another year 🤙🏽
This video was amazing. I've been thinking about this very subject recently, and I'm happy to see I'm not alone. I'm still not sure how but I have a feeling this relates to how too much "mindfulness" can actually be bad for you, according to some recent studies. Cheers!
I'm self aware when I'm around people especially when there's only one person like what do they think about me, what do they think about my behaviour? What if they think I'm stupid or what if they think I'm rude or not polite? but when I'm alone I don't judge myself, i don't hate myself. And that's how i knew im self aware/self conscious. It's heartbreaking
Cool video, dude. Nice editing & music, too. Lovely voice. I like how it feels like you're humbly exploring an idea alongside us, not lecturing. Thanks for putting this out.
Woah thank you for this. I didn’t realize that other people get this way. I’ve always thought I was just a little crazy questioning my own actions and emotions.
i've been told by lots of people throughout my mental health counseling how very self-aware i am. i never really agreed or understood what that meant. i brought it up once to the counselor who knows me more than anyone else and he told me how NOT self-aware i am. i'm not really sure what to make of all this but it seemed relevant
I suppose it depends on peoples definitions of self awareness
Often people will confuse self-loathing or self-criticism as self-awareness. Thats the critical difference
To me, an important part of introspection is recognising that thoughts and feelings can come from many places. Sometimes it's a reaction to an event that has happened in your life, but it can also just be because you're hungry or stressed or tired. I think awareness of those states and how to take care of yourself and bring yourself back into a better balance is very healthy.
I think the biggest issue for me has been the crossover between my "self-awareness", my childhood trauma, and social anxiety.
When I go out into public, I am constantly overanalyzing how I come across to other people. So much to the point that the littlest glare or even blank stare can send me into an internal panic about what I may be doing wrong. Or even really silly things like my posture, facial expressions, how much or too little I project my voice, etc.
With my traumas, I've fallen into the trap of believing narratives that really shitty people in my life have told me is innate about myself. False narratives that I'll never be good enough, that I'm lazy, that I'm cringy, that I'm ugly... etc. All of these and more get me into this mental loop, that is me attempting to be "self aware" but really just turns into me shitting on myself, and holding myself back from my full potential.
This and the trauma are why I pay a bit of money a week for therapy lol. I definitely recommend it. That's a type of self-awareness I think has been beneficial for me - because it's guided and a lot of times a good therapist will catch if you're just bashing yourself/heading down thought loops that are unhelpful.
Yes, self acceptance is key. Self assuredness is the answer to the "why". To gain control over the narrative of direct experience in one's own life. To experience one's desired existence. As we grow, we gain a more clear idea of what we want and what we don't want. Introspection is useful only to the extend that it bolsters our self assuredness in this regard. And when you gain the wisdoms from enduring hell, then you don't let anyone one ever shake you again
I’ve gone in and out of self ruminating and what I’ve learned and had to sit with this past winter was to be present with my own abandonment that I’ve always felt at an early age. It was something I’d constantly think about through childhood, teen-hood and even my adult hood as of now the age of 27. At 26, I was finally told the truth and that my Dad was not my biological father and that the man who’s blood runs through my veins left my mother and I before I was even born. It was something that took me the whole year to process. No matter how self aware, I thought I was. I don’t blame anyone for the lie for so long, as a matter of fact it was better to know as an adult… my lesson was to sit down and be present with emotions and feel them out and be able to let go and accept my life for how it turned out.
💕
"Self Awareness is useless if you're not using it to ultimately reach a state of self acceptance rather than falling in the trap of believing your own guilt. We're not always right and we're not definitely always right about ourselves"
Beautiful, thank you
I've lived my entire life overly self aware. It's more than self aware I'm everyone and everything aware. My life is like driving when you have to know everything going on around you, this is me and it's drove me mad my entire life. If someone is clicking a pen in a room full of peoppe across the room, I'm aware of it. I'm constantly playing scenarios out in my head over and over and over. Even before speaking to someone it's like my brain is computing different ways the conversation could go and preparing for that. As I'm speaking I'm watching a person breathing their eye movement what their hands are doing. I've been told I was psychic more times than I can count but the truth is I've got so good at reading peoppe and environments I usually can guess the outcome of a situation. The same with people, I read people or idk it's a feeling almost, I feel someone's energy and know their motives. I know how someone is feeling almost instantly. And it's very hard for someone to be able to lie to me, especially someone I've had time to analyze and understand changes in their voice posture actions breathing in general, that I would deem not normal for them when someone is lying to me. Ive always been someone who basicallt can not lie, it doesnt mean i havent, i just mean i know i make it obvious because im over analyzing it so i found its easier to just be honest and take whatevwr comes with that in that moment. I say all of this to say its like hell in my mind. I can't quite it. It actually led me to a drug addiction. I just wanted to numb my mind and quite the constant noise. I've been clean for 3 years now and I've found myself totally isolating myself. If someone ask me out or to do something I always say no, I never make plans and when I do I cancel them. I just get overwhelmed in crowded places. I don't mean for this to sound like "omg I'm a empath I feel feelings" it's different than that like another level. I've always wondered if alot of people are like this. I know people who can live so in the moment not worry about what may happen in the next minute. I wish I could live like that. The only time it was possible if when I was high but I refuse to live that way again. So I isolate, I workout alot, I listen to music with headphones to distract my mind. It's hard to even watch TV my mind even drifts off from that. Maybe I have some adhd that's never been diagnosed, thanks American Healthcare system. P.s It's not being self conscious, I'm very critical of myself but I also know that I'm attractive and intelligent. I'm aware, I'm very "awake".
What if all your thoughts are just in your head meaning the whole world around you is nothing but a projection of your thoughts..
Look inside, who is inside you, who is the one thinking can you see the being underneath the thinking?
What if there is something beyond yourself. This emptiness. This presence.
I am extremely self aware without even knowing it about everything and myself, so much that there was this split of self. Almost like the thinker the ''me'' seemed to vanish into something much greater then myself. There is a greater you beneath all the thinking.
If reality that you see is your interpretation then where is the real reality? Doesn't that mean that you are living in your head? There is a constant reality outside but its blurred by your owns thoughts of what that reality is. What if you could see reality without your past collective memories. What if you just see it, as it is in that moment.
What if you realize that every human behaviour is moved by the wanting's to be loved and accepted, then is everything governed by love then since even hate comes from wanting to be loved/understood?
Anyhow realize that right now that voice in your head, is it even you? What if you dissociate from that voice. What if you aren't even that voice? What if there is something much deeper within you? Allow yourself to dissolve into that presence. All your worries and insecurities are just all in your head.
r/iamverysmart
honestly, i think a part of it comes from a hyper-vigilance thing in the sense that our subconscious ties to keep us safe by always knowing if not constantly trying to figure out everything about everything all the time because it makes us feel that we can somehow predict things because we “know” (taught from trauma) that there is always a sort of potential for harm
It’s like a big tangle in my head was just undone. Thanks for that!
I once was thinking something similar to you. It was if what we call reality even existed. My answer is that there is no answer and mostly how we truly perceive reality. When thinking of things like this, I use the term ‘boxes’. These boxes is what we see, what we think and what we can or cannot perceive as being there. We use these subconsciously or consciously to give us a scope of understanding. But every time we get deeper into an answer or try to figure out more of it. Another box it created since than you start to think outside a box or multiple boxes. The deeper we go the more boxes will be created. Concepts like there’s nothing left or a colour we can’t imagine is a box. Because of this process we could be in an infinite cycle of boxes. We cannot truly find an answer. Anything can exist yet reality doesn’t exist. I may be wrong but it’s how I think.
Read buddhist philosophy. U stumbled onto something pretty good. Take the Buddha pill.
perception is reality
nono don't take the buddha pill trust me
The sentence at the end, you need loving people to give an honest opinion of your behaviours and actions, really opened my mind. By confronting people who want the best for you and have loving relationships you, you can find true honesty. And no matter how brutal it is, you can improve upon it because you know it comes from a place of love, not hate. A great way to improve yourself.
Sending love and hoping nothing but success for this channel! 🤍