How To Lose Your Fear Of Your Relationship Ending

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  • Опубліковано 26 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 193

  • @andredarin8966
    @andredarin8966 3 роки тому +125

    "The cave you are afraid to enter holds the treasure you seek."

    • @joaomendes147
      @joaomendes147 9 місяців тому

      Wow, that's a great phrase. Thank you

    • @myluvdicaprio
      @myluvdicaprio 5 місяців тому +1

      Can you always get that treasure tho?

    • @andredarin8966
      @andredarin8966 5 місяців тому

      @@myluvdicaprio Maybe not. But there’s little to no chance of discovering it elsewhere. If you want to marry the princess, you have to slay the dragon-or the giant.

  • @caitlynscott943
    @caitlynscott943 2 роки тому +80

    Living with BPD is absolutely exhausting and feeling so jealous and constantly anxious I’m going to lose him is so hard. I am so sick of ruining relationships because of this fear. I end up pushing them away and I can’t live like this anymore. Thank you for this video.

    • @srikantadhikarla6733
      @srikantadhikarla6733 Рік тому

      What’s BPD

    • @kaileenim
      @kaileenim Рік тому

      @@srikantadhikarla6733 I think it's borderline

    • @leroysanchino
      @leroysanchino Рік тому

      I have BPD and I believe my ex had it too, or at least some aspects of it. I felt similar in being sick of ruining relationships, but in my case it was me who wanted nothing more than to hang on the the relationship while the pushed me away. I came into the relationship after years of messing up and losing faith and I really believed she was the one, even after less than a year. I know now that it never could have worked out (not that that makes me feel any better) and I just wanted to say I’m sorry for you and life is tough shit but in the end it is what it is and stay strong

    • @aisyahfadillah16
      @aisyahfadillah16 Рік тому

      I am in your shoes. I am so sick with this too 😢😢😢

  • @suzanne5651
    @suzanne5651 3 роки тому +7

    It's like the song: you don't know what you've got till its gone. So visualising this and feeling the pain, and then remembering that they are still there, makes us realise the depth of our love.

  • @veronicamackey9547
    @veronicamackey9547 2 роки тому +6

    This is deep and perfectly timed
    “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”

  • @ayepyaesone315
    @ayepyaesone315 2 роки тому +6

    Thanks
    I noticed that I'm wasting my time by thinking to lose my partner without doing any things that my partner wants me to do. Now, I need to concentrate myself and I have to let go of fear. I always search and watch your videos when I'm stressed with confused negative thoughts.

  • @sridharvaishnava9003
    @sridharvaishnava9003 3 роки тому +39

    "If we are afraid of losing our partner that means we are using them."
    Man, I am so grateful to have found this channel. l am single and have anxiety of getting cheated on or just one day be left because I am not worth loving anymore.
    It is heart-wrenching for me to even imagine and I am trying to understand myself, why am I like this and slowly dealing with this.

    • @ChrisEzio
      @ChrisEzio 2 роки тому

      What happened now after 4 months?

    • @sridharvaishnava9003
      @sridharvaishnava9003 2 роки тому

      @@ChrisEzio still the same but a little bit better.

    • @ChrisEzio
      @ChrisEzio 2 роки тому

      @@sridharvaishnava9003 did you found where it comes from?

    • @sridharvaishnava9003
      @sridharvaishnava9003 2 роки тому

      @@ChrisEzio I have some ideas, currently in the processs

    • @dd-tn8ur
      @dd-tn8ur 2 роки тому +1

      @@sridharvaishnava9003 hey,how are u now??
      Were u able to deal with ur anxieties??
      Even I'm having anxieties that my partner might end up marrying some girl,without me having info ABT it.
      I know it's silly,he is very nice and loving,but still I see a lot of relationships ending up same way,so that's how my mind is working now,
      How u managed urself??

  • @danielchappell1672
    @danielchappell1672 4 роки тому +20

    I found your videos when I began my junior college studying psychology five years ago. This past week I began my graduate degree in Counseling Psychology. A lot of the help I've given people already, and that I will in the future, comes from the clarity you brought me Noah. Thank you!

  • @SelfArtCorner0777
    @SelfArtCorner0777 2 роки тому +27

    This is exactly my problem, I hope I will overcome this fear soon🙂

  • @julianhart154
    @julianhart154 2 роки тому +5

    Idk why but I have this feeling and it really scares me. I know she loves me so much and I do too. I just wanna lose the anxiety of loosing her.

  • @Kuling98
    @Kuling98 4 роки тому +40

    Extremely helpful, I feel like this can be applied to every kind of fear there is not just relationships.

    • @TheBanjoShowOfficial
      @TheBanjoShowOfficial 5 місяців тому

      It is applicable to every kind of fear. In many ways it’s called exposure therapy

  • @mark.e.p
    @mark.e.p 2 роки тому +8

    This is brilliant. After my wife having an intense affair, l've forgiven her, but l've done it wrong, been too compliant, afraid to lose her, being on my own etc. Now l'm taking MY life in my hands, being me, seeing friends and giving her space. Also taking your advice now. I already feel better. Thank you.

  • @meaghan8740
    @meaghan8740 4 роки тому +12

    Great video Noah! Thank you! One thing that kept coming up for me though was my fear of my partner dying. That is the one fear i have with all the people i love that i can't seem to let go of.

  • @creepyclosetfromthecrypt
    @creepyclosetfromthecrypt 2 роки тому +7

    Thanks man, I’m currently still dealing with this from time to time I’ve gotten better with this fear. I’m continuing self love and care to help cope better with this fear because I realized this is insecurity from the past that part of me is still trying to heal from.

    • @NoahElkrief
      @NoahElkrief  2 роки тому +2

      I hear you Aimee, it's a journey

  • @JamesV1
    @JamesV1 4 роки тому +47

    Thanks Noah, on the verge of a break up right now and I need this.

  • @PolymerJones
    @PolymerJones 4 роки тому +5

    My dude Noah! Wow the timing of this is crazy . Yes, the fear of moving on is real! Fear of losing the fear

  • @enriquesuarez7113
    @enriquesuarez7113 4 роки тому +5

    Thanks Noah, its too late for me, she broke up with me. I blamed myself for the longest time but this helps me understand myself better.

  • @StreetfighterTips
    @StreetfighterTips 7 місяців тому +1

    This is me right now, I'm so scared of what we are going through and she is my everything

  • @Moonmoonli
    @Moonmoonli 3 роки тому +3

    I argued a lot with my bf and I started to look for help. I am glad to come across your videos. Thank you for your inspiring messages.

  • @genalynhallgren-bl3ge
    @genalynhallgren-bl3ge 11 місяців тому +2

    Its true..i am afraid of the Pain that i will feel of leaving him..I Fear of the PAIN

  • @rhodacampbell
    @rhodacampbell 2 роки тому +4

    This is very insightful, I’m going to have to watch it a few times to really let it sink in and learn what you’re talking about. Thanks for being a teacher today.

  • @myillumination5054
    @myillumination5054 3 роки тому +9

    Video is put together really well. Love the idea of facing the fear in baby steps and looking at the worst case scenarios. Thank you for your authenticity🙏🏽🦋🧘🏽‍♀️

  • @Gmadeit
    @Gmadeit 3 роки тому +1

    So true. So so true, when you fear they might get into something you don't like or cheating on you, you want to do things that you feel you might keep it running instead of being yourself.

  • @janesmith5609
    @janesmith5609 4 роки тому +13

    Noah, this hit home for me. I needed this!! Thank you 🙏🏼

  • @rickyd7631
    @rickyd7631 4 роки тому +9

    Thank you Noah. I wish I could get over my ex. She still comes into my workplace. I feel sad when I see her. I just want to be able to look at her like any other customer without any feelings towards them. But old feelings come back. Thanks for the video.

  • @Daneiladams555
    @Daneiladams555 4 роки тому +6

    I have fear of intimacy more then anything
    Because of past pain
    I hope to bust thru this

  • @coolguy13333
    @coolguy13333 21 день тому

    Mine is extremely loyal, clingy, and amazing, I’ve talked about it with her and she said she would never leave but it’s still hard to forget about the anxiety

  • @longingheart77
    @longingheart77 4 роки тому +4

    I already lost her, the pain is unbelievable..

  • @kresivarivkah612
    @kresivarivkah612 3 роки тому +1

    My partner and I are separated geographically via border closings. I miss him. I am going through a lot right now. I have moments. I do not have an everyday fear. I wish that he were with me atm. Maybe this is not so much a fear. This is just a difficult phase. We all need physical support at times. I just miss my husband.
    Still, some have experienced trauma. And this fear needs to be resolved via therapy. This fear is not solely a fear of losing. Some have not been loved property. And it is through being loved that they become to feel comfortable with love. And this awakens that pain within us. The only way to overcome that fear is to face that fear ..in love.

  • @Gmonkey_GB
    @Gmonkey_GB 2 роки тому

    Jesus it’s videos liek these that prove to the little voice in my head that I definitely am just thinking WAY TO FAR INTO IT! My biggest fear is that im not with the right one, im scared I could feel better with someone else. And you said, I like her uniquely not because there’s more love than everywhere else but because that’s where my energy naturally goes. That’s, such a great way of looking at it thank you

  • @abrilcorominajavier9150
    @abrilcorominajavier9150 Рік тому

    Thanks this really helps. It's very painful to let go of all of this believes that society has put on us, but I'm realizing it's even more painful to live with them. I really love my partner and it breaks my heart to imagine a future without him, but I'm now realizing that it's not sad because I would be alone, it's sad because I would have to say goodbye to a beautiful reality and a beautiful dream of ours. But, I choose to live in the present and if when I'm older I still have this dream, I know I'll be able to fight for it.

  • @taylorbee4010
    @taylorbee4010 2 роки тому +1

    My question too is that if you don't need somebody and they don't feel a need in your life and there's literally no point for them being there. If we are pack animals how can we be complete on our own? We can meet our own needs yes but ultimately we will get lonely.

  • @GreyhoundChannel
    @GreyhoundChannel 4 роки тому +3

    Hmmmm, I get what you are saying. Ugh, this is a tough topic. I more fear my Partner dying. I finally found a Man that’s a great fit for me. I am rarely triggered by anything in the relationship. But- a huge fear arises when I think that we could be torn apart by death. My thought stream is this..... ‘where would I go, where would I live, how could I survive, there’s no other Man like him, I would have to be ok being alone’. These thoughts make my heart race! No fun! (Sorry, my grammar/punctuation isn’t very good). 😆

  • @gottalaneworld8422
    @gottalaneworld8422 Рік тому

    I really needed this… I have an extreme pain that I feel will be activated if my partner goes away on a solo trip…but the calm of this video really helped!! Especially when you say if we are afraid then we are using our partners not living them ❤

  • @JoeD60
    @JoeD60 3 роки тому +1

    This is a beginning of a new path for me.

  • @lilianapadbury6475
    @lilianapadbury6475 2 роки тому +2

    All I can say is thank you Noah. I’m struggling and needed this

  • @whywhy3049
    @whywhy3049 4 роки тому +5

    I don’t have this fear

  • @gra6799
    @gra6799 Рік тому

    Very liberting ..and ultimately returns us to Love within and with others..I received so much from this Deep Gratitude 🥰🙏

  • @eventsdeveloper1739
    @eventsdeveloper1739 4 роки тому +2

    If someone does abandon you. It gives you the opportunity to work on your pain. Does that mean you should see them again? Not judge and be joyful?

  • @blackkitty1111
    @blackkitty1111 Рік тому

    amazing video. absolutely truth, I just discovered with your video that I am afraid of feeling defective, of feeling like it would be the confirmation that I am not good enough, that there is a problem with me. and I keep carrying this feeling not only in romantic but also platonic relationships, thanks so much for this video.
    I will focus on my actual fear, that is not feeling good enough

  • @matthewchristman6852
    @matthewchristman6852 2 роки тому +2

    Thanks Noah, I appreciate what you talk about and we need more people like you.

  • @ChaniLillian
    @ChaniLillian 2 роки тому +5

    But how do you ‘let it go’? I get the bit about imagining the bad things happening and how you would feel, but I’m not sure how to then ‘let them go’ I just end up making myself more convinced they will leave

  • @MoonieToonie
    @MoonieToonie 8 місяців тому

    both of my partners before have left me. The first relationship i’ve had for almost 4 ish years but she broke up with me and stopped trying. Second relationship lasted about 2 months he lied about loving me and most likely talked crapped abt me behind my back. i asked him if he actually loved me and he was like “I actually never wanted a relationship with you.” LIKE WHAT…! now i have a wonderful partner.. they’re so wonderful they treat me right they love me they support me. Im not using my partner because im scared of being alone. Im used to being alone.. i love her so much and i want a future with her. im a huge overthinker and i worry about the future it’s terrible.

  • @piggytsai2226
    @piggytsai2226 3 роки тому +4

    I understand the concept of meeting the pain. I can just imagine him leaving me and start crying in one minute and I’ve done that and dreamt of it several times and it hurt like hell.
    (Now that I typed it out it sounds like I’m a crazy person)
    But what I don’t understand is how to let go of it?

  • @cryptowysiwyg4982
    @cryptowysiwyg4982 4 роки тому +1

    You're an angel sent down from Heaven. Thank you very much, sir.

    • @msprecious5742
      @msprecious5742 4 роки тому

      He said a bad word how can he seems to be angel from heaven 🤔

    • @cryptowysiwyg4982
      @cryptowysiwyg4982 4 роки тому +1

      @@msprecious5742 a bad word? so what.

  • @respect7677
    @respect7677 3 роки тому +2

    Thank you Nouh for always bringing awareness and insight. Cheers❤️

  • @michaeldowd5545
    @michaeldowd5545 Рік тому

    Going towards the pain The obstacle is the way.

  • @LoveeeeelyM
    @LoveeeeelyM 4 роки тому +1

    I enjoy your videos so much. I’ve shared them with so many people. Thank you for sharing your lessons. And thank your for showing us your humanity 🙏🏻💕

  • @xLCLIPx
    @xLCLIPx 2 роки тому

    Thanks for this I’ve been slowly losing the fear but still love him so much.

  • @thaiwithme8960
    @thaiwithme8960 4 роки тому +1

    Noah, thank you for the video , it helps me to feel better of myself, i was afraid to lose someone i have deep feeling for him n afraid to lose him ..but in many times he treat me like im nobody, he tried to pull away n accused that it's because of me..i always thought im not good enough.. it's not true ..we can't make anyone happy ..i let him go..

    • @patriciaclay2111
      @patriciaclay2111 3 роки тому

      there someone who can help you get your ex back begging you for a second chance, his name is Dr Steve, he also helped me before and my ex came back to me

    • @patriciaclay2111
      @patriciaclay2111 3 роки тому

      Wht ssap Him

    • @patriciaclay2111
      @patriciaclay2111 3 роки тому

      +2347030894892.

  • @TheBlackHole123
    @TheBlackHole123 Рік тому

    Needed this video man, I can relate so much to what you were saying..currently in a new relationship now, feeling all these feelings, found this just in time.

  • @honeymoney23
    @honeymoney23 2 роки тому

    WHEW!!! THANK YOU!!! this message was FOR ME!

  • @iamfrankcaceres
    @iamfrankcaceres 2 роки тому +1

    This is so helpful I feel a sense of freedom.

  • @taylorbee4010
    @taylorbee4010 2 роки тому

    That moment when you say you've been looking for answers but when a dude shows up with the answers you get scared.

  • @robinvogt1472
    @robinvogt1472 4 роки тому +1

    thank you for this right on time for what im going threw i needed to hear this

  • @scallop9061
    @scallop9061 9 місяців тому +3

    Can you do this while still being in a relationship?

  • @princessmim46
    @princessmim46 2 місяці тому

    Thank u❤ I have had the same thought that if I lose the “fear” of losing that means to me I would lose the relationship and that. Would makes me think if I lose the control so I will also not putting an effort in that.

  • @kuhulikasharma2089
    @kuhulikasharma2089 3 роки тому +2

    So beautifully explained ❤️

  • @janelbelarmino2784
    @janelbelarmino2784 4 роки тому +1

    Thank you. I badly need this now.

  • @victoriaalmeidaferreira9373
    @victoriaalmeidaferreira9373 4 роки тому +1

    Thank you Noah. Me and my partner enjoyed the video

  • @nickynn5532
    @nickynn5532 4 роки тому +1

    Thanks Noah Elkrief!

  • @sarveshjoshi2611
    @sarveshjoshi2611 Рік тому

    God..this is therapy i needed

  • @420BudNuggets
    @420BudNuggets 3 роки тому

    Good advice man. I’m dealing with a break up rn because we don’t agree on having kids, but then I consider folding on my stance in order to not leave her.. I really love the girl but I am not ready to be a dad. I think I need to stop spending so much time with her and we need to go our separate paths

    • @adetolaadijat523
      @adetolaadijat523 3 роки тому

      I recommend you to a great and powerful Man who can help you manifest whatever you want to manifest within two days❤️❤️❤️

    • @adetolaadijat523
      @adetolaadijat523 3 роки тому

      He helped me restore back my ex three days ago he does a perfect work text him, I'm assuring you, you gonna testify 💯💯💯

  • @nimaichandramondal6307
    @nimaichandramondal6307 8 місяців тому

    Thank you so much bro it was the most helpful thing that i needed

  • @tomasachaval77
    @tomasachaval77 3 роки тому +1

    Thank you very much for this.

  • @James_Kirimi
    @James_Kirimi Рік тому

    Thank you for being so real

  • @haras755
    @haras755 3 роки тому

    You are the best! I have no words!!

  • @mikeonthetube79
    @mikeonthetube79 2 роки тому +1

    there is another level to this entirely which you are ignoring- you're losing your fear based on some knowledge/trust you have the other people/relationships will stay (ie. friedfships); but what if you have nothing? or even worse what if you are the only person left in the world (yes, its a realistic fear)? you'd die in a week. that's actually where the most primitive fear comes from.

  • @nicolaspaiva4790
    @nicolaspaiva4790 2 роки тому

    Thank you very much! I am gonna think to myself tonight. You helped me a lot!

  • @Evan829
    @Evan829 2 роки тому

    I'm still young and not in a relationship but I always worry that my best friend would leave me or something like that and we are really close and its almost like we are in a relation ship and this really helped me a lot

  • @gifty2595
    @gifty2595 2 роки тому

    Really needed to hear this.

  • @MrManuj2000
    @MrManuj2000 4 роки тому +1

    Awesome advice!!!!

  • @amaliariganova5181
    @amaliariganova5181 4 роки тому +1

    Yes thank u it helped 🙏💚🍀, yes im afraid of the pain psychical or physical. I will try this exercise again later, coz right now i tried but nothin arised inside me

  • @Gmadeit
    @Gmadeit 3 роки тому

    This is so spot on. 200% helpful!

  • @RavenMadd9
    @RavenMadd9 Рік тому

    Noah thank you...
    Dealing with this

  • @dollinekaari8333
    @dollinekaari8333 4 роки тому +4

    By thinking catastrophically, we are actually making things worse, because our unconscious mind doesn't distinguish emotionally between what we imagine and what really happens.

  • @melaniec3295
    @melaniec3295 4 роки тому +1

    thank you so much it truly helped me a lot ❤️❤️

  • @abhishekkshiirsagar8151
    @abhishekkshiirsagar8151 2 роки тому

    thankyou. my fear stresss anxiety anger all led to a break up bi=ut we immediately patched up nd now again it was deteriorating needed this thankyou

  • @RamiSobhani
    @RamiSobhani 4 місяці тому

    Wow thanks for the advice

  • @kaizerkun6364
    @kaizerkun6364 3 роки тому

    Same here...i need this thanks noah.

  • @frostslik1697
    @frostslik1697 4 роки тому +1

    What do I feed a what do I do if my feelings have been hurt like this I'm useless I'm nothing what do I do I can't look beyond anybody I just feel really lonely I have stopped talking to my friends because my parents said stop talking to him the bad people so I cut them out my world and been learnt for like no no no I think it's 10 years I've been alone no friends

  • @ognjenmilic9575
    @ognjenmilic9575 2 роки тому

    THANK YOU SO MUCH. You are the best.

  • @gebeccaromes
    @gebeccaromes 3 роки тому

    This is the best video I've ever seen. Thank you.

  • @annavillalpando4872
    @annavillalpando4872 4 роки тому

    Your videos are everything!! Thank you! ♥️

  • @suryazayn4349
    @suryazayn4349 4 роки тому

    Thanks a lot Noah for this !

  • @banjitkalita9542
    @banjitkalita9542 Рік тому

    Thank you so much i feel good right now because i feel anxiety and now i feel grat ❤️🤝❤️

  • @614PESCAYMAS
    @614PESCAYMAS 2 роки тому

    Wow man thank you so much for taking your time to make this videos it has helped me a lot

  • @pretty3860
    @pretty3860 2 роки тому

    I'm going true this same situation thanks for the incoragement

  • @ericy1005
    @ericy1005 Місяць тому

    I'm in a relationship and I don't have to activate these fears because they're always there anyway. Just wish I could figure out how to get it to quiet down. I go to therapy I look at it and try to understand it but I just can't figure coming from a broken home what's a dad that left when I was three and a mom that had very sporadic emotions and inconsistent affection, fucked me up. It saddens me because I understand it intellectually but the feelings are so intense.

  • @silasthomas3637
    @silasthomas3637 2 роки тому

    You are the best Noah thank you so much

  • @Jasmine-srfn
    @Jasmine-srfn 3 роки тому

    Thank you so much Noah! You explained so in-detailed, I loved it. I learned so much from your words. Again, thank you! ❤️❤️

    • @NoahElkrief
      @NoahElkrief  3 роки тому

      You're so welcome!

    • @chinasaofozoba8687
      @chinasaofozoba8687 2 роки тому

      Hello i know of a man who can help you restore back your relationship within two days 😍😍

    • @chinasaofozoba8687
      @chinasaofozoba8687 2 роки тому

      He was the one who helped me returned back my ex partner three days ago without delay ♥️♥️

    • @chinasaofozoba8687
      @chinasaofozoba8687 2 роки тому

      what'sApp him 😍😍

  • @Nomode2
    @Nomode2 Рік тому

    this is a great video thank you

  • @SimplyGB
    @SimplyGB 2 роки тому

    Thank you Noah 💜

  • @pieceofart5962
    @pieceofart5962 3 роки тому

    6:14 loved this part😄

  • @frostslik1697
    @frostslik1697 4 роки тому +1

    Watching the movies yet and when I talk to him I'll go to him I don't want to see your face and it's been a whole year and we haven't seen each other when he has seen me but I've not seen him I got confidence issues I trust people really quickly but I don't know what to do do I obviously want to leave my house and live with him I live in my parents by the way I don't know what to do do now you got this coronavirus thing going on so everybody's keeping distance I'm really confused you know I told him sometime I feel anxious when I'm not used to people saying I mean when people shout at me I tend to cry anybody even if they let kids started on the Old cry I'll give up on fighting I can't do no more but I really love him I have to hear his voice to just see come I don't know what to do I want this relationship to work sometimes my emotions run wild so I don't know what to do I've never felt like this with anybody like this is actually my first relationship with a guy the separately ship doing go well with a guy this one's that perfect could you tell me anything I don't know what to do it is so confusing

  • @V27RV
    @V27RV 2 роки тому

    Thanks man..this helped a bit

  • @lvargas4406
    @lvargas4406 4 роки тому

    Great video. You are right. But how do we stop fearing when it happens? Can fear depress you? Where does fear come from?

  • @Nitronium
    @Nitronium 4 роки тому +6

    The old Noah had a very powerful message: "How do you know if this is good or bad for your life? How do we fully know the effects or outcomes of any event?"
    I wish there was a perfect blend/evolution of the two versions of you. In some way the 'throw away' bit towards the end of the video about disbelieving your thoughts was a glimmer of hope. ✅

    • @atalantak9205
      @atalantak9205 4 роки тому +4

      Yeah, this reminded me of old Noah too. In a good way. That blend would be perfect.

    • @thomasche
      @thomasche 4 роки тому +1

      I also miss the old Noah. Even thou he still sometimes makes videos like he used to.

    • @dollinekaari8333
      @dollinekaari8333 4 роки тому

      I wish the same too.. but after long resentment,I accepted that these are mere human beings who are also trying different things..they are not God..I just go with what I resonate with

  • @bushra.tabassum_
    @bushra.tabassum_ Рік тому

    Thank you noah

  • @ll5584
    @ll5584 4 роки тому +4

    6:14 😂 🤣 👍🏻👍🏻best !

  • @theresacarpenter1962
    @theresacarpenter1962 3 роки тому

    Phew...this is hard. I just say well easy come easy go but for the first time I know that that's not true......u are dead on