14 ways a Narcissist may use to try to hoover you back in | The Narcissists' Code Ep 644

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  • Опубліковано 22 жов 2024

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  • @imlissa
    @imlissa Рік тому +406

    I don't trust anyone enough to be in a new relationship

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +28

      😩🥺

    • @narelleme7990
      @narelleme7990 Рік тому +43

      Don't let your past define your future. Life is for living. Let go and move on🙂

    • @JoannaSmith-jj8bw
      @JoannaSmith-jj8bw Рік тому +42

      Same. No interest in finding anyone bc it’s too painful.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 Рік тому +24

      That's normal. Trust no one. It has to be warned and proven.

    • @PoliticalWonderland
      @PoliticalWonderland Рік тому +28

      Grieving is real. The person doesn’t have to be actually ☠️ in order for u to grieve. U grieve the future u thought u had but have now lost etc. You will heal take as much time as u need. God speed

  • @Jakayla5645
    @Jakayla5645 Рік тому +56

    1. The random “I’m in your city” text
    2. Sending memes or video clips provoking small talk
    3. Reaching out on Holidays
    4. Reacting to your social media posts after weeks of not communicating
    5. Random midnight calls after weeks of not communicating
    6. DRUNK CALLS

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +10

      good list

    • @thisloop
      @thisloop Рік тому +3

      🤣 number 4 tho... not after weeks but 5 days after it, blocked him everywhere but he dug ma youtube 🤦‍♀️

    • @deniserandall4397
      @deniserandall4397 7 місяців тому +2

      All but No. 6 for me because I am not on social media anymore.

    • @alizamalik3945
      @alizamalik3945 6 місяців тому +1

      After discard how long they can come back???

    • @joeb5578
      @joeb5578 3 місяці тому +1

      I haven't had any of those.

  • @momfromnj911
    @momfromnj911 Рік тому +85

    I’m six months free from ex narc but still watch your videos every day to be informed
    Love your videos Lee , thanks for keeping us aware and informed

    • @alizamalik3945
      @alizamalik3945 3 місяці тому

      @@momfromnj911 I'm 4 months free from a narcissist

  • @bnice4624
    @bnice4624 Рік тому +200

    People also do these things after they’ve been devalued and discarded. The trauma bond can look like narcissism sometimes.

    • @Kat3111
      @Kat3111 Рік тому +17

      I agree on that one.

    • @sarinabiles4178
      @sarinabiles4178 Рік тому +19

      Thank you for saying that because that's what I'm going through now n he calls me a narc but when I leave him alone he'll call no more than 3 to 5 days I'll pick up n he hangs up then I call back blocked cause I'm on punishment smh

    • @princessmandy1757
      @princessmandy1757 Рік тому +20

      Amen... They have a great way of making you feel crazy.

    • @vhviki
      @vhviki Рік тому +1

      Yup

    • @megandutemple8774
      @megandutemple8774 Рік тому +11

      I’m so glad you said this. I’ve been struggling with this

  • @kenniblake
    @kenniblake Рік тому +59

    My Daughter was with a covert Narcissist. After She left Him He started following ALL Her (Prerty) Female Friends on Facebook and Instagram!!! I kept Her Strong & Focused. She stayed Strong and NEVER went back

  • @jamacianluva2003
    @jamacianluva2003 Рік тому +151

    Make sure to tell the person who might pop up at the job asking for the person, "I'm not at liberty to tell you that info." You'll save lives!

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +10

      💯

    • @sheaturman4746
      @sheaturman4746 Рік тому

      HELP!!! what device or service can help me look at my home and car to make sure im not being watched and tracked. !!!!

    • @amyhutto94
      @amyhutto94 Рік тому

      Amen

    • @sterlingstarz
      @sterlingstarz Рік тому +3

      @@sheaturman4746 Get a ring camera (or any brand). You can view it from your phone. Always be aware of your surroundings. If anything like stalking or other illegal acts happen, make a police report, so eventually you can get a restraining order if needed.
      *My sister was unalived by her ex. She tried getting a restraining order, but couldn't bc she never reported anything. The restraining order wouldn't have stopped him, but could have if he had violated it & he had time to think.

    • @amygorman8299
      @amygorman8299 Рік тому +2

      Great advice!

  • @callieglowup9436
    @callieglowup9436 Рік тому +218

    Almost exactly a year later narc ex moved on very quickly after out split (together 12 yeats) and has recently asked to move back in as " he realized he made a mistake." Thank you Lee for putting me up on game! He only apologies for "everything".

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +49

      Yeaaaa protect your peace!

    • @rogersills1816
      @rogersills1816 Рік тому +49

      They move on faster than hell! Don't they? Way I see it; if they instantly move on after y'all fall apart, that shit was already going on.
      And when it comes to being hovered by a narcissistic ex, there's an old story that applies to this kinda thing.
      A little girl was up in the mountains and she comes across a rattlesnake. And the rattlesnake says to the little girl "Its so cold up here on this mountain. If you could just put me in your coat and take me down into the valley where I could get warm and find food, I won't bite you and I'll always be your friend."
      Knowing that rattlesnakes are known to bite people, the little girl was hesitant. But trusting the word of the rattlesnake, she picked him up and put him in her coat and took him down to the valley.
      When she got there, she found a warm and sunny rock where the snake could sun himself and get warm. She gently sat him down and said "Here you go. Get warm." And without hesitation, the snake struck her and bit her hand. Panicked and shocked, the little girl said "Why did you do that?! I brought you down here so you could get warm and find food like you asked. And you bit me anyway after promising that you wouldn't. Why?!"
      "Because I'm a snake." the rattlesnake simply replied.

    • @TheSpiritRoom23
      @TheSpiritRoom23 Рік тому +16

      I wouldn’t take him back! He moved on thinking he found better and the new supply must’ve realize what he is. They’ll always use you for their backup plan once they meet someone new. Don’t let him treat you like a seat filler because one day he’ll meet someone else and never come back unless she leaves him too. They never satisfied.

    • @stpassion5908
      @stpassion5908 Рік тому +2

      ​@@rogersills1816 nice one

    • @AishaBuycks
      @AishaBuycks Рік тому

      🔥🔥🔥

  • @carolinavelluto
    @carolinavelluto Рік тому +23

    damn hoovering tatics is pathethic AF because narcisist can't handle a "NO" .
    thank you to spread awareness of this Lee

  • @emmy2831
    @emmy2831 Рік тому +83

    I never shared my address nor did my narc know where my family lives. I had a gut feeling not to share that information. Thank God I listened.

    • @LL-el8sl
      @LL-el8sl Рік тому +5

      I’m scared that he knows mine and I have two kids.

    • @stardustdreams234
      @stardustdreams234 Рік тому

      Same here. I was even thinking about taking her to visit my grandma. SMH glad I didn't.

    • @alizamalik3945
      @alizamalik3945 3 місяці тому

      @@emmy2831 I didn't know a person is narcissist when I was contect with him in 4months long distance relation...never met him in reality...I was wonder when he asked me my email id many times and early asked me to send uar addres because he wants to send flowers...

  • @ao6685
    @ao6685 Рік тому +104

    A man walked into his ex girlfriend work place and shot her in front of customers. Be careful y'all. A narcs injury can become deadly 😑

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +15

      🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯

    • @crunchyblack7991
      @crunchyblack7991 Рік тому +9

      Yes indeed theyre violent as well

    • @3timesacharm586
      @3timesacharm586 Рік тому +12

      very sad!! Mine is violent and capable of anything. Im currently living in another country to stay away from him

    • @UrbanEconomist5
      @UrbanEconomist5 Рік тому

      Here in Chicago

    • @sia1019
      @sia1019 2 місяці тому +1

      Mike messaged me on my business page asking to book an appointment. I replied with “ I’m sorry I have ti decline service “
      He didn’t reply 😂

  • @chloelarson8711
    @chloelarson8711 6 місяців тому +4

    Sending gifts from Amazon to your house, Cash Apping $3 “talk to me”,
    “Unblock me please”, trying to order a cheesecake from your business after blocking, texting from random numbers. After this video I’m convinced. ✅ thank-you.

  • @mandyavalos1416
    @mandyavalos1416 Рік тому +99

    I know it's a good thing to not be hoovered. I got discarded 6 months ago and have seen no signs of hoovering. but it's a real blow to the self esteem, especially since ive lost 80 lbs and im glowing up alone. Makes me feel like I'm nothing sometimes.

    • @mandyavalos1416
      @mandyavalos1416 Рік тому +37

      Don't get me wrong, I don't wanna be hoovered necessarily, but it just hurts the ego in a sense. 🤷‍♀️

    • @katem1472
      @katem1472 Рік тому +24

      Good things will come to you before you know it! Your positivity and lightened load will attract others.

    • @isobelle.London
      @isobelle.London Рік тому +25

      You haven’t noticed or they haven’t started I pray you don’t experience it and fall for it either trust me you’re on a list and they will be back to hurt you more !

    • @princessmandy1757
      @princessmandy1757 Рік тому +18

      Hey to another Mandy! Trust in Jesus, get out there.., do stuff for yourself. I started tanning, excercises, changing my hair... Doing new hobbies and decided I'm going to work with the theatre and spend a lot of time at the beach... You are a beautiful person and just remind yourself that they really aren't good enough for you. Why? Because you have higher standards and they don't meet those qualifications you've set for yourself. You can do it.

    • @mandyavalos1416
      @mandyavalos1416 Рік тому +13

      @Princess Mandy hello! You're absolutely right. I actually joined a small group at church and signed up for volunteer work with our local pregnancy center. I exercise everyday and I'm feeling really good about myself in that sense. But when I lay down at night my mind starts to wonder. And then sometimes it hits with the thought that I wasn't good enough for a hoover. I was disposable. And that's where my injured self esteem takes notice🤷‍♀️ but I know ur right. Thank u for the encouragement

  • @forensicbadassprofiling
    @forensicbadassprofiling Рік тому +78

    15. The new supply calls you for sympathy. Hang up. Don't take their calls.
    16. They take up your hobbies and passions.
    17. All of the 14 Lee Mentioned.

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +15

      Good advice

    • @AwaiHashiba-Yu-Gi-OhDM-Season6
      @AwaiHashiba-Yu-Gi-OhDM-Season6 Рік тому +10

      18. "I know you." After apologies and more fake accounts, they will either write this line from their real account or another fake account if they've impersonated someone. Bc in their imagination, you're acting a certain way. You MUST act the way they've created! They know this version! This version will come back! IT MUST!

    • @komalkoul6486
      @komalkoul6486 Рік тому +2

      @@AwaiHashiba-Yu-Gi-OhDM-Season6 omg so true 💯

    • @komalkoul6486
      @komalkoul6486 Рік тому +2

      16 , the guy tried to be a dancer 🙄

    • @theresathompson4719
      @theresathompson4719 Рік тому +3

      Long story short as it is complete lunacy, very grateful his ex spoke to me. It was very enlightening and certain things very clicked into place. He put me in terrible position to try and make me look crazy and found he was doing the same thing to her. She was not the person he was making her out to be at all. It gave me peace to never deal with him again and I hope it gave her some peace if she needed that. She had moved on and was very happy, which is good for her.

  • @Mercedez2617
    @Mercedez2617 9 місяців тому +8

    Abusing and stalking you with the purpose of getting you to give in.

  • @jessannjohnson6041
    @jessannjohnson6041 Рік тому +33

    I got hoovered back in because he actually divorced his wife! Imagine my surprise but I told him he was the king narcissist and he FINALLY stopped hoovering me! ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

    • @docreality20
      @docreality20 3 місяці тому

      @@jessannjohnson6041 I wouldn’t even have given him that.

  • @alexiabrodeur4810
    @alexiabrodeur4810 Рік тому +42

    my ex left me for another girl and got her a ring and stopped talking to me. I left him alone completely and a month and a half later he blew up my phone apologizing to me and saying he loved me. He tried to sleep with me but I wouldn't. Next day he made up w her and told me to leave him alone basically. I blew up his phone calling him names and he filed a restraining order against me. They're still not back together. 🤣🤣

  • @bellaluv4890
    @bellaluv4890 Рік тому +24

    I have to say that my narc husband has never done any of these methods over the course of our relationship. Instead he displays a sense of urgency to a request and promises something in return, that he never does. He can't even "Hoover" correctly 🤣

    • @sashaclarke2749
      @sashaclarke2749 Рік тому +3

      😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😳😳🙄🙄😩🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @hollybryant2530
    @hollybryant2530 Рік тому +66

    😂 when they see light they go toward it and zap! Thanks for giving me a laugh in a not so funny situation!

  • @divinelyled8269
    @divinelyled8269 Рік тому +105

    Wow!! thank you for this.
    My ex has done 13 out of the 14... not # 8 only because I'm not on dating sites...but hearing all of these makes me feel less crazy. Folks that have never been through this, just don't understand how hard it is.
    I'm 5 weeks of no contact, longest I have ever gone and I'm getting stronger every day😊
    Thank you so much
    Take care and keep thriving!!!

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +8

      You’re welcome 😊🙌🏾🙌🏾

    • @hippiecowgirl4231
      @hippiecowgirl4231 Рік тому +2

      Same here! I'm at 5 weeks as well. Finally blocked and unfriended him yesterday. He almost sucked me in again but couldn't maintain his g promise of " :everything will be different, just give me another chance" for even 24 hours before he was playing his games again.

    • @sweetbabycherae3817
      @sweetbabycherae3817 Рік тому +4

      He turned his entire family against me. I’m trying to be ok with that because I kno I did nothin wrong to any of them

    • @merfraquel2623
      @merfraquel2623 Рік тому +2

      When mine got arrested for attempted murder, (February 22 this year) and I’m not but 15 minutes away from Lee, he knows the JAIL that my husband is in and probably the prison he’s going to… the man pulled a 38 chambered to my head and knife to my jugular vein. My head through a wall punched me and busted my right ear drum threw a 7 pound box at my face, stomped my ankle, ripped my hair out and it took five years of abuse to get to this place, and I would like to know from Lee, why it wasn’t so bad up until he exploded, but he literally growled at me. Swat had to kick my door in to get this man and he went charging at them and they shot a rubber bullet at him and he didn’t go down, so they tased him in the private parts. He told me he would kill me, and then suicide by cop. He was shooting at them, but he was going to kill me first if he couldn’t have me nobody could. When I met this man five years ago I was around 157 pounds. I am down to 117 pounds now and I am literally nothing but bones. The DA said you look like you’re dying.😢

    • @liliesandtulips2000
      @liliesandtulips2000 Рік тому

      ​​@@hippiecowgirl4231were we all dating the same moron?😭😭😭🤢🤢
      The resemblance oh my god

  • @breezylikesundaymorning2321
    @breezylikesundaymorning2321 Рік тому +12

    My narc has very little knowledge about technology and everything is in my name, cars, house, accounts etc. I’m about to pull the rug from under him.

  • @deejames1st
    @deejames1st Рік тому +22

    A narcissist hired a private investigator to follow me. They take pictures and follow you everywhere.
    It’s wrong that they use their license to help stalk other people legally.
    Just want everyone to know this could happen to them so they can take extra precautions

  • @anonymoususer4866
    @anonymoususer4866 Рік тому +23

    My ex eight now is trying to hoover by pretending to care about our kid. He doesnt care about our kid and weve been divorced ten years.

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +4

      😞

    • @NARCASSASSAIN
      @NARCASSASSAIN Рік тому +1

      Typical Narc they do not care about the kids not then not now not later. The narc uses the kid as supply and triangulation.

  • @MeetSeanCurran
    @MeetSeanCurran Рік тому +34

    My soon to be ex-wife just tried last weekend... She took me out to a nice dinner where the whole time she either didn't talk to me or made fun of me for what I ordered... It was just weird. The next morning she sent me a text saying "I had a really good time last night". All I can do is laugh anymore. Thank you for your videos!

    • @NMTDelightfulMusic
      @NMTDelightfulMusic Рік тому +9

      You gave her supply. No contact forever!

    • @mariahconklin4150
      @mariahconklin4150 Рік тому +5

      At least you got fed. lol! My ex came over tonight saying he has food for me and when I didn't answer the door their was no food waiting for me. lol! I'm like damn I'm hungry. Not worth it though. lol!

    • @mariahconklin4150
      @mariahconklin4150 Рік тому +5

      I'm sure she was on her cell phone to the whole time? lol! My ex used to be on his cell phone and ignore me in that way actually he would always be on his cell phone.

    • @mschlund1
      @mschlund1 Рік тому +2

      Why did you go?

  • @Kandi-Lu
    @Kandi-Lu Рік тому +8

    he said "the bat man is busy right now,so he needs you" had me on the floor...oh maannnn..

  • @coffeebean9061
    @coffeebean9061 Рік тому +20

    You hit almost all of the traits of my ex. He also tried to accuse me of cheating on him after we were CLEARLY broken up. Went to all my friends & family trying to destroy my reputation ,but in the same breath claiming he loves me & he doesn't care what I done. He just want me back 🤦🏾‍♀️.

  • @lcgarrett
    @lcgarrett Рік тому +19

    The narcissist in my life has called my new job. I quit my previous job back in July. I had to block all of the flying monkeys on my phone and on all social media. Each and every one of them. That was over 10 people. The comments got to me that I am disgruntled because I blocked everyone 😂

  • @yolandasjourney8832
    @yolandasjourney8832 Рік тому +16

    Omg, after listening to this video, I received an email yesterday. It was an invite to join the Narc in an appointment with him. As I sit there lookin at the YES, NO, MAYBE tab on the invite, I started laughing because I’m like I just saw this in the video!

  • @anndra1160
    @anndra1160 Рік тому +14

    Yep, I've had a few of these hoover attempts happen (family hoover, snail mail, fake emails and phone calls, hoovered at work by flying monkeys, new supply hoover, and the latest - The "surgery" hoover!) All EPIC FAILS for the ex narc!!! 🤣 When I say I'm done, I AM DONE!!! 👍🙌💥

    • @kmsleyang1980
      @kmsleyang1980 Рік тому +1

      OMG mine had a “health issue” about 2 weeks ago lmbo. Never told me what the health issue was just that it was serious.

  • @HollyScarlett_
    @HollyScarlett_ Рік тому +17

    I am staying in a hotel after I left the house I was at with my ex covert narc over 3 weeks ago , he is purposely keeping some things of mine and told me that he will give them to me after I get my new apartment. I have to move now and Since he is still emotionally/sexually abusive even threatening after the breakup I just plan on just abandoning those items even though I cared about them, Blocking him entirely and never telling him where I went or posting my address or indicators on social media just to prevent this hoover or whatever crazy plan he has....so I can focus on my business which he doesn't want to really see me develop.
    I also have made many friends and supporters. I even sort started seeing someone else who doesn't have an egotistical attitude all the time but im still taking it slow and using therapy . I think also your videos really helped me understand the way he thought instead of questioning myself into being gaslit and understand realities of the situation.

    • @lopezl4323
      @lopezl4323 Рік тому

      Girl i left all my stuff! it's material your life is not! Go and never look back!

    • @ruthberesford7801
      @ruthberesford7801 Рік тому

      My covert stole my house keys obviously denied it I never got them back he gaslit me to denial again. Told him I wanted space then got ghosted I need therapy now cos of him x

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +3

      Stay strong and empowered on your journey

  • @ABD-po9xf
    @ABD-po9xf Рік тому +57

    Lee! You make me laugh! Having a sense of humor in this shit show of a life really helps!
    Thank you ❤️

  • @twilxght9978
    @twilxght9978 Рік тому +13

    narcissistic mosquito 🤣🤣 i like how you incorporate humor into your videos (even if it’s unintentional). bc it’s a heavy subject, it’s nice that they’re lighthearted moments. love and appreciate your videos, they’re so educational and informative. thank you

  • @nickyclabbers8084
    @nickyclabbers8084 Рік тому +24

    Hi lee, can you do a part two! Love listening to you especially when you do an impression of the desperate narcissist 😂

  • @ms.j.7095
    @ms.j.7095 Рік тому +9

    Oh yes. If they feel you embarrassed them they will strike!
    They will even get the law enforcement to be on their side.
    It’s definitely crazy lol

  • @janayhansen8232
    @janayhansen8232 Рік тому +11

    First of all, to understand what he was trying to do, you need to know I'm a tarot reader and a lightworker. I've been on the spiritual path for about 8 yrs now... about a wk after I evicted him from my house, he showed up at my door crying and drunk, begging me for a reading, saying he needs my help bc he's lost in darkness and miserable without me, that he knows he screwed up our 5 yrs together not working on himself mentally, emotionally or spiritually and that he should've listened to me bc I'm the best teacher he knows... Didn't work on me, took a lot of inner strength not to laugh at him tbh. He tried jumping into another relationship, with the 19 yr old he cheated on me with but I barely blinked bc who cares, I have spiritual work to do and ppl to collaborate with... Using women to hurt me used to work in the past but I bounce back stronger from pain than most, he underestimated me in the long run... He really thought using my faith and spiritual practices would work on me bc it's what matters to me the most now that I don't have a nightmare from hell screwing up my purpose and my life... Since then, he's used 6 different numbers besides his main number to text a bunch of fake sentimental bs and fake apologies and wah wah I miss you crap... N he got blocked everytime. No way, no how. He had 5 yrs n that's all he gets, the 19 yr old can deal with it from now on, I have magical shit to do 🙏

    • @Wildheart4331
      @Wildheart4331 11 місяців тому +3

      My best advice to you is: change your number. He will never leave you be and even though it is an inconvenience to you, you will be glad you did 💚

  • @lovethyneighborministryout9876

    JOIN YOUR CHURCH!

  • @leeloo9402
    @leeloo9402 Рік тому +7

    Tried to Hoover me by calling me when he knew I was going to work and when I’d got home.🔥

  • @paulahunt3508
    @paulahunt3508 Рік тому +26

    I would’ve been fine with another 20 minutes Lee. Excellent as always! 😊❤

  • @stroNg2thaBoNe2thaMax
    @stroNg2thaBoNe2thaMax Рік тому +17

    Lol I can laugh cause I know that he'd try and do all of these things if he wasn't facing jail time for violating the restraining order😂😂
    He's already done all of these things prior to the restraining order.
    I'm sure he's still somewhere lurking but now he has to be VERY careful. Good boy.

  • @beautyessence7578
    @beautyessence7578 Рік тому +18

    Wow I saved so much of my time watching you I'm single still hovered by my child's father but it's definitely maintainable watching these videos he love me but he can't stand me because I make him take accountability and cut off anything that is or sounds like an insult. He looks like swiper off Dora the explorer when I stop him from trying to steal my joy. I'm still kind to him. When he's to much I leave I'm so glad I took your advice not letting him have financial control! Thanks Lee!

  • @Onibocho11
    @Onibocho11 Рік тому +13

    The Hoover attempt was to put me and my parents on the contact list for student loans. Aggravated us for years. She then would attend classes and for her contact information, put my phone number.

  • @mortischahicks5341
    @mortischahicks5341 Рік тому +20

    My ex narc sent me roses to my job! I give one rose to ALL of my employees. And at the end of the day. I poured the water out of my vase and took it home.

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +5

      😆 👏🏾

    • @nicjoy80
      @nicjoy80 Рік тому +4

      That was clever and respectful to mother nature lol 👏🏾

  • @teresacotton7923
    @teresacotton7923 Рік тому +11

    They don't connect or understand what we feel when we love someone. I think they use tactics they "think" we will make us think they love us.
    Of all the hoovers I've gotten the most telling there was something wrong was when he wrote Happy Mothers Day. I asked him why he wrote that. His response was " because women like that. Lol. Had no clue because he didn't get the emotions. No emotional connection.

    • @princessmandy1757
      @princessmandy1757 Рік тому +3

      Mine told me he couldn't love... But he sure loved the girl he ghosted me for.lol so I just found someone better.

  • @tinac6114
    @tinac6114 Рік тому +10

    I got discarded almost a year ago. He usually texts once a month around the same time every moth but if i did answer his text he wouldn't respond. Since i quit responding I just got a FB friendrequest from him. I accepted because I could care less what he's doing but I want him to see I'm very happy without him. I know everyone advises against this but I really could care less about this guy. Just let him see I'm good without him!

    • @NMTDelightfulMusic
      @NMTDelightfulMusic Рік тому +2

      In their twisted mind they think you still care if you accept the request.
      Only if you are in no contact it means to them that you do not care.
      They do not think same as we.
      And he wants you to have you under control - it makes him safe.
      You should do opposite - raise his anxiety by not giving him control over you. He thinks he owns you and this way treats you as his stuff :)

    • @TheSpiritRoom23
      @TheSpiritRoom23 Рік тому +2

      Sounds like he’s breadcrumbing just in case him and this new person doesn’t work out. You’ll never know all along they be in new relationships while holding the door open for ex’s and sex buddies. He’s just trying to see if you still have a soft spot for him because once him and whoever breaks up, that’s when he’s turning that hoover on full blast. They’re something else.

  • @sylviaj270
    @sylviaj270 Рік тому +31

    Changing their profile name on Netflix to “call me”. 😮😂

    • @alexakearney
      @alexakearney 7 місяців тому +2

      “I’m sorry for everything “. Had me cracking up.

    • @Curiousgal600
      @Curiousgal600 6 місяців тому

      Same

    • @cherry-on-toppp
      @cherry-on-toppp 12 днів тому

      DAYUMMM ! 😅😂😂🤣🤣

    • @cherry-on-toppp
      @cherry-on-toppp 12 днів тому

      I started laughing so hard at 07:55
      “I’ll-do-anything-for-her-can-you-please-reach-out-to-them-?”🥲🥲🥲🥲
      😂🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭

  • @sweetoneloves6811
    @sweetoneloves6811 Рік тому +14

    Watch out for their family members who try to their photos of the Narc to you also. I had to block my cousin because she was trying to set us up again.

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +5

      Good advice

    • @sweetoneloves6811
      @sweetoneloves6811 Рік тому +8

      @@MentalHealness most family members want these toxic people to have a mate so they don't have to deal with them.

    • @tammyfitzgerald5336
      @tammyfitzgerald5336 Рік тому +2

      No contact must be every where get off all sites 🙌💥🙏🏽💣

  • @wintereastbrown5134
    @wintereastbrown5134 Рік тому +33

    My ex described in detail an act that we did when we first got together before we got married is something that she wanted someone else to do to her on her dating profile that I stumbled upon. It was meant for me to see. It was so fucked up when I saw it the way she worded it, she meant for me to see it, there’s no way around it. It was twisted! Her profile pic was very vague in the way that I couldn’t really tell if it was her or not, Which is why I was tempted to open it up which is where I saw the rest of her description which is where I saw those words. She literally set it up to bait me into opening the profile so I would see those specific words, and pictures of her, and her revealing that she’s in a partnership, and polyamorous. Interesting and I wonder if her partner is aware that she’s poly. What’s fuck up about all of it was that I never would’ve even looked at her profile had I realized it was her and now I have this information in my head that I don’t want there! It was such a twisted thing for her to do, and to anyone else, harmless, but to me gutwrenching! What a creative way to fuck with me nearly 4 years after I left! And why? Because she loves to hurt, to cut deep! I’m so glad I’m out now!

    • @sds6303
      @sds6303 Рік тому +2

      Why were you on a dating site if you were married?

    • @maryrios5986
      @maryrios5986 Рік тому +1

      Wow that is SICK...too much work to be fake and hurt someone..stay away

    • @deejames1st
      @deejames1st Рік тому +4

      @@sds6303 he’s not married. Read again.

    • @NMTDelightfulMusic
      @NMTDelightfulMusic Рік тому +5

      My idiot ex brought his new wife in front of me, laughing his head off. He was clearly enjoying my hurt for making me look stupid.
      20 years ahead - his wife got cancer ( I wonder why), he is miserable and empty as one can be.
      Hoovering regularly and I am happily married all that time :))))
      So karma comes in the end, just live your best life - they will be so jealous and envious in the end...
      And they can not do anything about it - cut them off.🤮🤢🤮🤢🤣😂😅

    • @tinygold772
      @tinygold772 2 місяці тому

      Same my ex put on his dating profile “happy childhood preferred” he knew I had a traumatic childhood and knew I would see that - just cruel

  • @Esapesa79
    @Esapesa79 Рік тому +9

    After 7 months of no contact after he broke up with me, I was confronted by my nex at work right before christmas (we work at the same place) and accused me of talking bad about him. And I KNOW I have NOT talked about him at all to anyone! He has a new girlfriend (who he met long before we broke up) and they live together. After that it has been quiet. Why do you think he did that? To get a reaction? To check if I'm talking about him? I have no idea!

    • @princessmandy1757
      @princessmandy1757 Рік тому +7

      He wants you thinking about him again. Stay silent, its a trick.

    • @MacyLuv
      @MacyLuv Рік тому +2

      He did it because they're LITERALLY delusional and he lives in the story in his own head.

  • @msseasea
    @msseasea 7 днів тому

    Facts!!! I went through all that. My ex use to do that to me! But then hell call me crazy and weird!

  • @shawndarodgers939
    @shawndarodgers939 Рік тому +10

    Lee, you are ALWAYS on point and on time with your videos. My exnarc recently deleted my whole Roku account with about 15 apps. I only got 2 back that I actually paid for…. He set up the tv and apps. He never showed me how to do it… As attempted as I was to call him and cuss him out I knew he would get pleasure from that so I didn’t. He has used spoof numbers to text and call me along with “Duo” I don’t think you said that one… Thank you for another amazing video ❤

  • @shaywilson1530
    @shaywilson1530 Рік тому +6

    Just when you thought someone has already hit rock bottom. Self love is definitely needed. Thank you for this video

  • @Bubagigant
    @Bubagigant Рік тому +2

    Lasted 1 month...I thought that was it...but I guess as you have said and others....they never close the door completely...luckily, I am fine, just fine...don't need him.....😊

  • @teresascott310
    @teresascott310 Рік тому +13

    😂 Batman is busy....so he needs you!! Lol! Great information! I have learned so much by listening to your videos. Keep doing what you're doing. God Bless you and yours!

  • @paulahunt3508
    @paulahunt3508 Рік тому +11

    Lee, my ex, my Nar, showed up at my workplace, and also called someone in Management trying to get me fired for talking to HIM on the phone. For some stupid reason, I did not link this behavior to his Nar personality. THANK YOU so much for bringing ALL of this to light! You’re the best! 😊😊😊😊

  • @melissahutton2586
    @melissahutton2586 Рік тому +9

    🔥 As a narcissistic abuse survivor, your insight really helps! I’m going through the Hoover now. I made the mistake of breaking no contact. Now it’s been a yo yo. What gets me is not wanting to lose his good side, or Dr. Jekyll. Mr. Hyde, I can do without!

  • @technosugarcreations1956
    @technosugarcreations1956 11 місяців тому +1

    I've witnessed this with a friend; a narcissistic ex showed up at her dad's FUNERAL to try and get her back. Also, they might try and pay bills for you to make you feel like they owe you. This is why it's important to go paperless when possible so they can't find/steal bills out of your mailbox! If you can't go paperless on some things (I.E. property taxes), USPS provides an E-Mail service to show you what's coming to your mailbox that day before your mail is delivered. Get your important mail before the narcissist can!

  • @TheLafemma
    @TheLafemma Рік тому +6

    Thanks for your videos! Unfortunately, I'm still only in the process of realizing what I'm dealing with.
    But I can already add a couple of methods:
    1. He broke into my house and broke the fridge, but in a way that was not difficult to fix.. In anticipation that I would turn to him for help (he is good with techniques and cars). There was no reaction, I asked my friends to help. Then a week later he did it a second time, rhis time he broke the chip!
    2. GPS tracker on a magnet. He puts it on the rear axle of my car and removes it if necessary (5 seconds). I never know, when I have it.. One time I catsched him. I sent Tracker to the police.
    3. Not my case, one friend. FB Marketplace - strangers were interested in the furniture that she sold. Made an appointment and he came.
    4. Every time, when he brought me to hysterics, was recorded on video. He now has a whole library of compromising evidence.. I'm afraid of blackmail.

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +3

      i wouldnt let the #4 hold you back. mainly because he can do that while he's still around

    • @zeekay3205
      @zeekay3205 26 днів тому

      He now has a whole library of evidence of him abusing you and spinning you out into terrifying emotional distress.
      I hope the sick phuq gets himself locked up

  • @kimmaddison8686
    @kimmaddison8686 Рік тому +3

    Your videos are amazing thankyou from UK my partner went to jail today he's a narc he tried tearing me down calling me a handicap gaslighting phycological physical abuse

  • @Songfullydiamond
    @Songfullydiamond 11 місяців тому +3

    First the narcissistic roaches, now mosquitoes; lmbo! I’m so weak! Loved the video !

  • @sashaclarke2749
    @sashaclarke2749 Рік тому +5

    I took out a restraining order! Prob solved!✌🏼

  • @jessika_alice
    @jessika_alice Рік тому +18

    Has anyone else experienced NPD (ex) partners playing the "Everything" card elsewhere? E.g. "What do you love most about me?" "Everything." "What is my greatest strength?" "Everything." "What color are my eyes?" "Everything." Hilarious! Oh, and my ex consistently refused to say my name, even to people who knew me! I was always just his "girlfriend." So I said to him, actually as a joke, "You do that so you and your friends don't have to keep remembering new names. He didn't find that funny at all. I finally ripped his mask off after 5 months and broke up with him.🥳🥳🥳

  • @shannoncroft5489
    @shannoncroft5489 Рік тому +8

    First of all: you are an inspiration. The levity with which you deal with your content is admirable and needed. Thank you!! I’ve got one. If you have a work trip planned to wine country and a plus one is invited, that’s a positive thing. It is work but also play. In the days leading up to the trip the narcissist started a fight over something trivial (of course) and said and did some things so vile, that I had no choice but to say “I’m sorry, but you may not attend the work trip with me. I’ve got to be professional and can’t risk anything going wrong. Plus…it’s taking me longer and longer to recover from your maniacal behavior during these episodes. Please out of respect for me, respect my wishes.” He said that it is not my call to de-invite him. What did he do but show up on the plane in Atlanta. I strolled on, and there he was. Already seated. Looking at me with such disdain that if he could have shot bullets from his eyeballs I would have been “unalived” as you say, at that moment. I set down, scared and freaked out. He said nothing. I felt those old familiar fight or flight responses inside my body. 30 minutes into the flight, he put his hand on my leg and winked at me, as if nothing had happened. Then offers me the world. Hoovering happens many times over and in many ways.

  • @femininewaters444
    @femininewaters444 Рік тому +3

    My ex and my narcissist sister did the cashapp chime thing 😂 they pushin it , popping up , the reaching out to family, fake numbers calling not saying anything hanging up , fake social medias crazy crazy

  • @fenlandwildlifeclips
    @fenlandwildlifeclips Рік тому +4

    If they send anything by post scrub out the adress, write "address unknown" and return to sender & post back. Try & get someone else to write it or use block capitals.
    They will call non-stop work & home.
    They pretend to be someone else.

  • @jada9594
    @jada9594 Рік тому +18

    Knowledge is power! Thank you Lee💛

  • @tms045
    @tms045 Рік тому +8

    I like that you were in the moment and took a breath. This was good. Sadly I've experienced a few of these. Thank you for this

  • @annettehawkins8713
    @annettehawkins8713 Рік тому +5

    My narc boyfriend is acting really nice to me now, even after I had discarded him and went back to him. He has hoovered me three times before. He is really nice now because I am being more submissive to him. He is very controlling.

  • @niharika5793
    @niharika5793 7 місяців тому +1

    This is so accurate

  • @nancymc
    @nancymc Рік тому +10

    love your humor but most of all your wisdom and knowledge. thank you for all you do.❤

  • @norbeaster784
    @norbeaster784 Рік тому +3

    Leaving degrading letters on my door saying how wrong I was and how I need to just grow up and work on the relationship and stop being unreasonable.

  • @alishawilliams8055
    @alishawilliams8055 2 місяці тому +3

    The guy I am with keeps hoovering me back in knowing I am a huge empath. (We have been on and off for 10 years).
    The first time he got me back was when his dog died. The second time, his mother got sick, and I ended up caring for her. I was a nurse. (Mean while he had girls offering to "help him feel better with a BJ" etc)... After she passed 2 years later, I left. I had to take care of my dying mother. Then his 2nd dog got sick, (I ended up foolishly moving in with him) and I cared for her until she passed. I threatened to leave 2 yrs later due to the way he treated me, and our/"his" dog unexpectedly had a mammory gland tumor rupture, and I alone had to put her down. Now (3 years later) that I am moving out, he baits me by saying our/ "his" dog won't eat unless I'm there... and he is worried he won't last much longer because he is getting old. He knows I have a caretaker heart and exploits it because I can't say no to someone in need... I'm not strong enough to turn my cheek and say, "Oh well, it's your problem, I'm out!".
    I feel like his maid and his side piece. He knows what to say to love bomb me, and hoover me back in with guilt, then back to square 1 with verbal and emotional abuse once he has me tricked.
    He "needs" me? Can that be true? Can someone really need someone else?
    (He knows I don't need him, and he got angry at that!)

  • @Revelsoul23
    @Revelsoul23 Рік тому +30

    I have half of the list being done to me 🤦🏽‍♀️. Also, be aware of your narc ex visiting tarot readers getting readings on you ( asking about your love life) and other spiritual topics such as “binding spells”, “come back to me candle rituals”, etcetera. Someone I know calls it spiritual harassment because they love being spiteful that you left them, and refuse to take them back. #yougetweirddreamsaboutthem #inyourmindconstantthinkingaboutthem? #askGodforguidance\assistance☺️

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +4

      🧨🧨

    • @isobelle.London
      @isobelle.London Рік тому +8

      😮 in Jesus name I rebuke this ❤️‍🔥

    • @princessmandy1757
      @princessmandy1757 Рік тому +6

      They bind me in the spirit realm I will just loose it in the spirit realm. God's power breaks witch craft. The power in me and behind me is much stronger.

    • @princessmandy1757
      @princessmandy1757 Рік тому +4

      Glad you brought this up, though.., its true.

    • @yisraeljudah7777
      @yisraeljudah7777 Рік тому +2

      That's so tru

  • @indirawilliams9610
    @indirawilliams9610 Рік тому +3

    "One way I seen somebody use the mail " He means himself 😊 But good info though.

  • @emanuelarangos4247
    @emanuelarangos4247 Рік тому +2

    He used to remove the air from my car tyres so I will call him. Once he saw I managed alone, he threatened to remove the full tyre so I have no option but to contact him again.

  • @ms.j.7095
    @ms.j.7095 Рік тому +1

    Oh I know that.
    Show off their “new supply” to make you feel bad.
    So right. Wow. Lee Hammock, you have detailed everything well!

  • @victorious11111
    @victorious11111 Рік тому +2

    I had a hoover through Google pictures. He was blocked on everything and one day I received a picture of myself in the hospital the day I delivered our son holding him a few minutes after he was born and he told me to stop cheating in the message and I was the one that destroyed our family. So block them on your pictures too. They can send messages.

  • @indraSilentMoonImaginarium
    @indraSilentMoonImaginarium Рік тому +8

    The Narc can’t pop up at my house cause he knows I can ring the police and next time arrested cause that’s what he used to do. Doesn’t come near me now

  • @indraSilentMoonImaginarium
    @indraSilentMoonImaginarium Рік тому +6

    I have to say I had to re watch part of this because you made me laugh so much.

  • @DoHisProphetsNoHarm
    @DoHisProphetsNoHarm Рік тому +8

    Thank you again Lee ❤

  • @mohitgarhwal5049
    @mohitgarhwal5049 Рік тому +10

    Bang on!!!!!!!!
    Feed me more😜
    The education you provide thankyou 💕

  • @lolxd9396
    @lolxd9396 9 днів тому

    Thank you Lee for the insight of narcissistic player behaviors and mind games. 🙏💯😎

  • @leahgannon5030
    @leahgannon5030 Рік тому +1

    That’s how I met him , KIK and here we are 6 years later and it has been crazy

  • @JijiNew1125
    @JijiNew1125 Рік тому +13

    My Narc called me out the blue after 2.5 years of no contact!!! He called from a new number that I didn’t have blocked. I actually had a conversation with him that was seemingly pleasant. The convo was completely him telling me about what he’s been doing for the last 2+ years. NOTHING has changed in his life… same issues and dramas that were happening when we stop dating…
    A small portion of the convo - He asked me several questions about what was going on with me…
    I was actually shocked with how much details he remembered about me because when we were together he acted so disinterested…
    He said he felt the issue in our relationship was bad timing - I guess he forgot all the woman he cheated on me with!!!
    Anyway by the end of the convo he said that we were not enemies and he promised to call me again…
    BLOCKED!

  • @Carinaland420
    @Carinaland420 Рік тому +1

    My first narc of 14 yrs ran his arm through a plate glass window on purpose for attention because I told him I wanted a divorce, drove 20 minutes to my job, bleeding all over the place to ask me if his arm needed stitches. I had to take him to the ER, his plan did not work. That guy has now been dead for 13 yrs . 39 years have passed I'm still angry about him. He tried to steal my soul.

  • @tammyfitzgerald5336
    @tammyfitzgerald5336 Рік тому +3

    This is why his mail coming here all the sudden 😂😂😂😂🎉🎉lmao wow absolutely IN SANE the security systems working 🙏🏽🙌💥♌️

  • @TheEmpathsToolbox
    @TheEmpathsToolbox Рік тому +1

    My ex has more than once pulled the suicide threat hoover tactic. Recently he allegedly went missing and then allegedly was found dead but the info I was given didn't add up. I asked for the police station name and investigating officers name so I could find out what happened (as my gut told me it was him) he immediately revealed himself in a typical rant response.

  • @user-bd9uo8dw3j
    @user-bd9uo8dw3j 4 місяці тому

    Ex Narcissist tried to Hoover me recently about someone has been sending him Amazon packages (randomly) for some months. I laughed when I saw the message.
    Ignored and will continue to ignore.

  • @Astra.Kiro.EGYPT27
    @Astra.Kiro.EGYPT27 Рік тому +2

    I just love that shade of colour on you,you have good taste in your attire.

  • @andresens6434
    @andresens6434 Рік тому +1

    I believe that I am a person who has adapted to living with a narcissist, but our relationship has come to an end, I do not hate her, and I value her for bearing my faults when we were together.

  • @brwnserenity2351
    @brwnserenity2351 Рік тому +11

    And I thought that I was being extra by changing my CashApp 🤣

    • @reneegardner2286
      @reneegardner2286 Рік тому +3

      I've had my narc blocked on CashApp the past year 😭

  • @LDTwin92
    @LDTwin92 Рік тому

    Mine would say they would get help once I told him I was leaving, when I asked them to do that months ago and they said they didn't want to. They'd completely contradict their beliefs in order to try to make me stay, when I know they would go back to their old ways once I got comfortable.

  • @sagenosnibor9173
    @sagenosnibor9173 Рік тому +7

    🤭 so damn funny Lee and this is true. They get desperate for any reaction from you!
    💀

  • @GreeneChakra
    @GreeneChakra Рік тому +1

    Love the Cover Photo with the Big Smile! That’s what Got Me here Other than- The Top 14 ways- a Narc tries to suck you in.

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +1

      ♥️🙂🙂

    • @GreeneChakra
      @GreeneChakra 5 місяців тому

      @@MentalHealness
      I was sent Money On Cashapp, worst my Ex GF sent texts to my Daughter, - I blocked her on my Daughters cell Today!
      Who wants to be with someone who Has a “Neverending Story of Complaints” -
      Asking me out on dates texting my Daughter, is a HELL Nono!
      No more extra men Mario! No reset, no unblocking and Reverse Hoovering!
      Ooh Do a Video on UNBLOCKING THE NARCISSIST!

  • @priscillapaulino5771
    @priscillapaulino5771 Рік тому +2

    I used to think shit was a game.. but these narcs are honestly dangerous and I love my life. Ain’t tryna get unalived. So I’m just steer clear

  • @elisaDiane
    @elisaDiane Рік тому +2

    Over 20 years of the hoover cycle...every time, I start to separate myself...he always says,...don't regret any of your decisions making based on your own bad thoughts that you have against me...or you're going to have to start paying your own phone and insurance....but I did the stupid reverse hoover...so he is using the don't regret your decision later...typical him

  • @Psych333
    @Psych333 8 місяців тому +4

    “Sitting there eating chicken leg with your family.” 😂😂😂. Fact.

  • @reezysenchantedtarot
    @reezysenchantedtarot Рік тому +7

    🎄🔥 Love how comprehensive this list was. Thank you!!

  • @winnifredcox
    @winnifredcox 10 місяців тому

    They pretend some emergency situation, .being the hero so to speak, alerting you..pretending something is not right somewhere...trying to engage with you that way.
    I like your no non-sense direct approach btw. Thanx

  • @meganpearson2643
    @meganpearson2643 Рік тому +2

    Mine comes and rings my doorbell like an insane person, follows me everywhere I go, or threatens to take my car.

  • @Sonia-q2d
    @Sonia-q2d Рік тому

    Is not about their words, is about the actions

  • @bridgetgrayson5893
    @bridgetgrayson5893 Рік тому +3

    I got 8 out of 14 smh...you kill me "Batmans busy" 😂😂😂🔥