What HOARDING really looks like and how to STOP
Вставка
- Опубліковано 27 вер 2024
- If we just get rid of all the "stuff" the problem will be solved right? Hoarding is not that simple. As someone who has worked with many who struggle with hoarding, let me show you what it really looks like AND the treatment strategies we use to help someone through it.
⚡⚡Online Recovery Courses⚡⚡
► Master Your OCD From Home (try for free)
www.ocd-anxiet...
💚 Kids Master OCD (try for free)
www.ocd-anxiet...
🎉 Join my patreon - LIVE Q&A, discord chat rooms, & early video access. Kick OCD to the curb!
click here ➡️ / ocdandanxiety
► Parents, spouses, and families - How to support someone with OCD
www.ocd-anxiet...
🛒 Shirts, stickers, awesomeness 🛒
www.ocdanxiety...
► Rise From Depression course (try for free)
www.ocd-anxiet...
► BFRB's (hair pulling, skin picking, nail-biting) (try for free)
www.ocd-anxiet...
⚡⚡Join the OCD support group⚡⚡
🔷 / ocdandanxietyonline
⚡⚡LIVE Masterclasses and Q&A⚡⚡
www.ocd-anxiet...
⚡⚡Take an OCD Test⚡⚡
💜 www.ocd-anxiet...
➼ Do I have OCD?
➼ Do I have HOCD?
➼ Do I have Harm OCD?
➼ Relationship OCD
➼ How severe is my OCD?
➼ Do I have hair-pulling disorder?
➼ Do I have skin picking disorder?
➼ Depression severity scale
⚡⚡Connect on social⚡⚡
🩵Instagram - / ocdandanxietyonline
🩵Facebook OCD group - / ocdandanxietyonline
🩵Twitter - / ocdandanxiety1
🩵TikTok - / ocdandanxiety
⚡⚡Video Playlists⚡⚡
👉🏼OCD - • Do You Have OCD? What ...
👉🏼Reaction Videos - • Therapist Reacts To Ex...
👉🏼Depression - • 5 Tips To STOP depress...
👉🏼Scrupulosity - • Scrupulosity: What Is ...
👉🏼Harm OCD - • What is Harm OCD? Can ...
👉🏼POCD - • What is Pedophile OCD?...
👉🏼Sexual Orientation OCD (HOCD) - • HOCD | Intrusive Thoug...
👉🏼Relationship OCD (ROCD) - • What is Relationship O...
👉🏼Real Event OCD - • How To Know If You're ...
👉🏼Existential OCD - • Existential OCD | Trea...
👉🏼Symmetry OCD - • What Symmetry OCD Look...
👉🏼Touettic OCD - • What is Tourettic OCD?
👉🏼Superstitious OCD - • What Is Magical Thinki...
👉🏼Contamination OCD - • What Contamination OCD...
👉🏼Just Right OCD - • Just Right OCD - A Fee...
👉🏼SOCD - • How To Know If You're ...
👉🏼Sensorimotor OCD - • What Is Sensorimotor O...
👉🏼Social Anxiety - • Social Anxiety Disorde...
👉🏼Anxiety - • Anxiety vs. ADHD - The...
👉🏼Magical Thinking OCD - • What Is Magical Thinki...
👉🏼Responsibility OCD - • Responsibility OCD | W...
👉🏼Tics and Tourette's - • What are Tics and Tour...
👉🏼Postpartum OCD - • Postpartum OCD (perina...
👉🏼BFRB (hair pulling/skin picking) - • What are BFRBs? (Body ...
👉🏼Body Dysmorphic Disorder - • Body Dysmorphic Disord...
👉🏼Panic Disorder - • How To Stop Panic Attacks
- - - Disclaimer - - -
For information purposes only. Does not constitute clinical advice. Consult your local medical authority for advice.
My "hoarding" is inspired by a deep belief that at any moment I will lose my job, become disabled, have an unexpected expense, etc. I will not have enough money to buy new things so it feels secure to keep things so I will be ready to either use or sell things when I need to. It's a persistent belief that the future will be poorer and less secure than it is now. Pretty sad. I do not tend to buy new things - I just do not get rid of old things.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. It's completely understandable to have concerns about the future, especially in uncertain times. The desire to keep things for security and to prepare for potential hardships is a natural and common response. However, is keeping things you don't currently use a helpful response? Building a financial safety net can also provide security. Consider setting aside a small emergency fund that could help cover unexpected expenses. It's worth exploring where these beliefs about the future come from. Are they based on past experiences, societal messages, or something else? Reflect on whether these beliefs are truly helpful or if they might be holding you back. Ask yourself if keeping excess items is genuinely making you feel more secure or if it's contributing to stress and clutter.
Relatable^
Me, too. We moved a lot when I was little and then my dad suddenly died when I was 7. Even though we had a nice place to live and my mom even bought a brand new car, she constantly complained about how poor we were so that I was always scared out of my mind. Hoarding food and clothes relieves my anxiety somewhat. It's no longer a disaster if I get a stain on my shirt or dinner gets ruined, because there's more in the closet or pantry. I'm 70 so I'll probably never get over it. I lived much of my life skirting the edge of disaster.
I “hoard” screenshots. Every image, quote, funny conversation, item I want to purchase, etc. i screenshot it and save it. Thousands and thousands of photos I find so important.
Same
Digital hoarding... eeek... so I'm not the only one... lol.
@KautRyan if you have thousands, then none of them are important to you. What is important to you is the habit you have of screenshotting. For the next 30 days add a habit of deleting everything older than 1 day. See if that works for you.
Me too 😅 I’m creeping up on 400,000 stored in the Cloud….
Also digital/web browser bookmarks. I feel the need to categorize and bookmark nearly every webpage I visit.
I’ve been a hoarder since my mom died, but I actually didn’t put a label to it (“hoarder”) until something clicked for me after a visit this week to a normal person’s house who was “apologizing for the mess” (a few plates not in the dishwasher and kids’ clothes on one chair that hadn’t been put away yet). And I was thinking how someone can’t even walk through my living room right now or eat at my kitchen table. So I just started watching videos on this today.
I always said I was “messy” and “disorganized” but the issue of why I could not clean up was answered by your video and some others: “I could use this someday”; “It’s too painful to think about throwing this out”; “I remember when I got this and it would be like throwing the memory away.” Last night I broke my phone case, and I actually had bought a spare a few months ago “in case I needed it,” and I can’t even find it now because I don’t know what pile of junk that it is under. I’m so ashamed of how bad it has gotten. 😔
I can relate. Good luck on your journey
When I said, in a comment of my own, that I don't think I am a hoarder but I am getting there ... I am now in a place where I can't find things because I don't know which pile they fell into or slid off of. But, someone else made most of the piles, mostly by disrespecting my belongings and my spaces. And, then, I quite trying after it happened repeatedly and I cleaned up and organized repeatedly. And, then I started buying new things and just putting them in the piles. But, I don't have that need to hold on to things so much as a lack of energy to move them and no help from anyone else. Except, maybe my son will come by today to help because he needs to move back in for a while.
Don't read too much into that about my son. He is Aspergery and had his own apartment somewhere else, riding his bike to work and looking for work. So, not much time or energy to help under the circumstances. But, other people are more irksome, since I helped them a lot or they keep claiming to help people in need.
I would say: Give yourself permission to let go of the shame. Shame haunts us; it’s too easily called up. More than that, it’s no longer a useful emotion for you, and it’s just making you feel bad.
This is where I'm at right now. I just went to Walmart and got two cardboard boxes to fill with everything I need to toss out ...wish me luck
I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom.
I, too, have had a hard time since the loss of my mom in 1984---an extremely hard time--including having a hard time letting things go in general, and especially anything related to her. I have not gotten rid of anything of hers, except a few very worn out pieces of fabric or clothing.
It has helped me to put all her items in their own boxes, separate from all the rest of my things. Then it's easier to sort through my things, separate from hers and all the memories they bring back.
For my own things, I use Julia Morganstein's "Organizing from the Inside Out" method: rather than asking if I should keep it or let it go, I just sort a small area into piles of like objects. Then I sort each of those piles into separate piles of like objects. I continue doing this until it becomes clear how many I have of each item, and which ones are in good, useable condition, or that I love, and which aren't. Then the discarding takes care of itself. So for the first sort, I might put clothes with clothes, shoes with shoes, books with books, etc. Then I take the clothing pile and separate it into tops and bottoms. Then I sort the summer tops from winter tops. Then ones that fit or don't fit. Then sleeveless versus short sleeve. Then short sleeve shirts I can wear for business meetings, casual outings, at home, or for grungy chores. By then I've clarified which have holes, stains, or don't fit, making it natural to let go of those.
When I get the rest of my Mother's things from a storage unit 100 miles away, I will be able to open all the boxes and choose those items that mean the most and take up the least space, such as jewelry and photos and small items.
I wish you all the best.
I have OCD, and have had hoarding tendencies since I was a child. I go through waves when it's easier to let go, but lately learning that less than 10% of all plastics will ever actually be recycled has been making me relapse 😕
I’ve always knew I was a hoarder, and just recently come to terms with it.
I didn’t realize I had OCD until Neighbor brought it to my attention.
I still was in denial until I looked up information on it through UA-cam, but I notice the similarities.
It seems like my behavioral health therapist wants to keep me to himself, but I really feel like I need someone who specializes in OCD/hoarding.
I really don’t know the next step to take though, and I’m not gonna take meds.
I’ve been experiencing the same! I know I have a lot of clothes that are no longer wearable or donate-able, but I can’t trash it because I’ll be contributing to the landfill.
@@jacq10 I'm sorry you're dealing with the same 😔 I hope you can find a good mental health provider to work on it with you 🙏
@@elmartell5724thank you, I hope the same for you as well 🙏
@@jacq10 Google textile recycling in your area. 👍
Finally a video on this. OCD related hoarding is so rare and frustrating. Please post more videos on this topic. Thank you very much!
Thanks for the kind words! I knew I needed to add this!
Pleaseee add moreeee :(
I’m 22 and I’m a hoarder. I recently started therapy and have been going over lots of things in my life and I think this has to be next.
I makes me so sad to know I’m gonna have to throw my stuff away. I wish I had a team of people to make use of the things I collected. I had so many art fashion and design projects in mind. But my garage is now filled with clothes and clothes and clothes. Paper, books, etc.
I don’t want to get married and have kids with this problem, but I don’t want to be wasteful.
Yes, between memories, not wanting to waste, etc, it is really really tough!! I am practicing thinking of someone else using what is in good condition, like the Marie Condo method (let someone else get joy from the item), so I am starting to decanter by donating to Hospice thrift stores or other thrift shops. It is not a steady process for me, I have a long way to go.
Why does it have to be thrown away? There's lots of people out there that need clothes why can't they be donated? Wouldn't it make you feel good to know that your items are being put to good use rather than boxed up in your garage? I just always think of donating before tossing away.
@@rainydaze9318That's OK but these behavior also includes the characteristic of keeping things that may noone like to have so there's no one wanting to receive that item to "treat it respectfuly" so if it is difficult leave something for emotional attach imagine how difficult could be knowing that it's gonna be dropped. I'm not giving excuses but giving another point of view. Hope everyone who suffer this and want a change for better in their life get what is needed to a achieve it. According to this video cognitive conductal therapy is the best. Those whom for whatever reason are not ready to that, remember the question process described in this video.
Congratulations on identifying your problem at such a young age. So thoughtful of you to try fix the problem before starting a family. I'm 53 and wish I could have started sooner.
For any family members that want to do the Go-in-and-throw-it-all-away approach, consider this: If anyone did that to me, I may never talk to them again. It's not about whatever is being thrown away. It's about the fact that someone didn't care what I thought/wasn't listening to me and invaded my space to purposefully do something against my will - very disrespectful, so why would I want someone like that in my life? So if want to help, think/research first. Your assumption of how 'easy' it is to fix isn't the truth of the matter.
I've got my issues to work through, so hopefully videos like this can help one step at a time. Living in a foreign country, I don't have any family to help (or hinder) me, so it's slow-going. Thank you for putting videos like this out here for us, doc.
I already got that “Just throw it all away “ Basically they want you to put a local “All Free “
Well, you're a massive narcissist, Michael😡 you don't care about the impact of your clutter on your Loved Ones around you😢 you just care about hoarding on to your junk...even if your friends/family tried to remove the clutter to make your house nicer😢
I don’t think anyone would like that if you did it to them. Can you imagine coming home to an empty apartment? Some might be ok, but most people would be like “Where’s my stuff?!”
I've found that family of hoarders always assume the Harding is about them and a lack of respect for them but there's already been an existing disconnect there. . It's never once been about going out of my way to harm anyone and disrespect anyone it's a shield for me to not have to get closer to people
If ANYONE tried that without my knowledge or consent, they would be reported to the authorities as THIEVES / BURGLARS❗Huge breach of trust. They have THEIR space, I have MINE!
My parents and grandparents are hoarders. Now I’m dealing with it. It creates so much fear for me to get rid of something. I’m worried if I get rid of something I’ll regret it. Even scrunchies…today I got rid of 10. I have at least 50 more. I don’t even use them, ever. It’s distressing because they take up space but I just can’t part with them. They were my mother’s. I can’t use my kitchen. I can’t use my living room. I live in my bedroom. I’m working slowly to work through my feelings and stuff. Every time I do laundry I get rid of something. Every time I do dishes I go through a cupboard to see if I can part with something. It’s a slow process but it’s far less overwhelming than trying to tackle it all at once.
This is a great start. Make sure the flow of items coming into your home is smaller than the flow of items coming out of your home, and you'll get there eventually.
I was homeless since 15.
No one talks about how it affects you once you are trying to become stable.
I’m currently trying to find inspiration to get rid of things
Donate to a charity that helps those who are truly in need ❗
Just started to self reflect and now realize that I am a hoarder, nothing intense like that show, but definitely not great either. Both grandmothers were hoarders and I had a very traumatic life. I don’t even know where to start to begin getting rid of stuff every time I try I end up hysterically laughing while crying and shaking. I just can’t get rid of things and no one around me understands. I just need help
we understand
I understand. I am facing the same problem. Not able to declutter ,some times I just feel to run away..........
I hate the hoarders show. They exploit vulnerable people. It's horrible.
I like the idea of only letting the client discard things rather than someone doing it for them. It's a very slow process, but less traumatic.
Exactly my problem. My space is completely over filled! I have no room. No place for anything anymore. Everything is overflowed. So whenever I even start to clean an area. I give up. Because I have nowhere to put it
I understand how overwhelming that can feel. Start small, focusing on one area or even one drawer at a time. Consider removing a few items to donate or discard first to create a bit of space. Remember, progress is progress, no matter how small. You're not alone in this!
@@Wendyx2000”Progress is progress, no matter how small.” I like that! I recently had success with my dining table by counting the decisions I made. Each thing I picked up, I had to make a decision about: where does it go. So I counted them. By the time I got to 50 I felt pretty good, even though the table wasn’t clean. It was measurable progress.
"whenever I even start to clean an area. I give up. Because I have nowhere to put it"
Yes! I got on a tear and got to boxing things and getting some stuff sorted out. Got a rental unit to help get things moved around and... depression came back and the storage unit just became another place to fill up. :(
I’ve been hoarding clothes for many years. I’m decluttering my house right now. I don’t want my husband to go through my stuff because it is stressful on me. I would like to see more of your videos. I need help.
Thank you so much for making this video Nate! I really needed it right now. I've had a progressively more severe hoarding problem for over 10 years. It got to the worst point ever recently with literal trash and food waste pilled up in multiple areas in my flat. I have been addressing this and doing what I can to clear the space day by day. More importantly though I am finally trying to address the root issues of why this happened. Your vids always help me so much and this was just what I needed to see today ❤️
DON'T THROW AWAY ANYTHING THAT SOMEONE ELSE MAY NEED... DONATE.
I’ll add if ok Local donating Craigs List Offer up flea market yard sale add pictures and description . Find a local ebay seller selling the same items might by all our stupor .
Look up item you have click nearest first then contact person to help set up a sale as lot . Also try to sell list as JunkDrawer
It depends on the condition of the item. Some hoarders live in horrendous conditions. Bio hazards ☢️
This is the most helpful video on hoarding that i have ever seen.
Very clear minded & positive.
you have an incredible way of speaking. I have great respect for your nonjudgment. I'm looking forward to showing this to my partner and hope it helps him a little
Bro how to cope with depression and fatigue associated with extream health anxiety
For me, it’s thinking I’m going to throw out something that I am going to have to buy later. I don’t mind giving away, I love to help others. I don’t hoard to clutter but I procrastinate on making time to give away or discard. Thank you for sharing the tips, they are very practical and have helped tremendously 😊
The stuff I hoard doesn’t have to do with sentimental value.
My problem is Amazon (yeah, I know it’s me). I need one widget. I go to Amazon and they sell one widget for $14.95, but six for $15.00.
Obviously, I order six.
Then this adds up over the years. I don’t want to get rid of them because I may need a widget sometime.
Unfortunately(?), I have some disposable income, so some of those widgets are somewhat expensive. I don’t care enough to try to sell stuff, but too much to throw it away.
I can feel you friend. Same here😂
Can decluttering become a compulsion?
My happiness and joy comes from the actual shopping. I love shopping. Buying thinks I don’t need. Nor have ANY space for. Or the money! I have every intention of wearing or using the things I buy. Then the guilt sets in. I spent money I don’t have. I take the bags home and pile them up. I don’t even take the things out of the bags. I end up rebuying things because I don’t know which bag or pile the original item is in. My home isn’t a home anymore. It’s so full and crowded. I’m miserable and depressed over this. I hate being home. Surrounded by absolute clutter. And then.. my escape is the store. Shopping.. My happy place. Is a vicious cycle. I’m lost on how to even start clearing this up. It’s new things. Not garbage. Too good and too expensive to throw away. I’m at a loss😩💔😩
Ok a tip I learned is ... the 10 minute test. I learned the science behind it. Our brain produces dopamine when we purchase something. That's the 'high' feeling we get. It takes the dopamine about 10 minutes to recede. So if you leave the shop for about 10 minutes often you don't feel the need to return for the item. It's chemicals in our brain fooling us!
I get that. It’s “An amazing find!”, “A treasure!” And it’s exciting to buy it, to find it. You get a lot of joy from completing that purchase. But then it’s done. The bag and the bringing the thing home, the bag sitting amidst other bags that you really have no idea what’s in them… that’s no fun to think about. Not even a little bit.
I always end up back at your channel! Im working on ROCD and im also a hoarder so here i am 😂
I hoarded for years...i didnt realise i was hoarding. I thought i was alone in my 'safety through items' approach. Then through therapy, as i tackle my trauma and my perfectionism, i was able to detach from my items.
I called hoarding cleaners and they're coming tomorrow to clean the entire house. I have a few items stored and thats it. I mean a few. I have an entirely different attitude now where clutter actually causes me stress bc looking at it reminds me of the worst hoarding times of my life. I want as few items as humanely possible so i have room to breathe.
A few months ago id have cried if someone touched my mess. Now im excited that its going. When you get to the root, the rest comes along. It is absolutely possible to find safety through other coping mechanisms and YOU WILL get there.
I have a rule that nothing enters the house now unless its got a place to go. That helps me a lot. If it doesnt have a home and it doesnt have a use, if its not for the betterment of my environment then itll be thrown out or it won't enter! ❤
Hi how did you go?
Why not donate instead?? Seems like it would be a lot easier for the person to part with a valued item if they think that it will go to a new place, taken up by someone who will also value it as much as they do. Seems like a much more convincing approach to suggest donation instead. Narrator keeps talking about 'throwing things away'.
There's a problem with "donating" when come to these hoarding people. They either say NO, ignore your suggestion of donating or straight try to change the topic.
@@SCH292That's not all hoarders, getting rid of anything by any means can be very difficult, but donation is sometimes seen as a better way because many find it easier to let stuff go in the most useful way possible.
This one of the best videos. He seems to really understand what's going on Plus he gets to the point.
This is the best video I have found so far on this subject and how to deal with it!
THANK YOU!!
You are the best! 😊 Thanks to you I can fight my OCD! Thank you!
Noooo! You are! 😉
i have ocd and i do worry about hoarding. i have problems letting go of items that are sentimental. ive held onto receipts and things. but its not that bad. i can manage to just a few boxes under my bed. i have a shopping problem though where i see something cute and its like i NEED it because it is so perfect. ill spend so much time thinking about it, researching, even measuring it to get an idea of what it will look like. my shopping problem gets worse as ive been depressed lately. just curious if this could be related to ocd and/or hoarding. i just have a problem not spending money, so much that i go into debt at times. also thank you a lot for your videos. theyve helped me a lot and also helped me explain to others what i go through. please take care and know you and your work are so appreciated by many!
One of my fears is to become a hoarder... I find videos like yours an incentive to keep possessions under control. Thank you.
I find it nutty that you don't give them the option to donate? I can see not donating a napkin or bottle, but clothes or jewelry? To me that's short sighted.
I needed a place to stay. I was told things will be gone in a year. I realized I married a hoarder. Thank God he bought me a house! It's been over 7 years and his house has items stacked close to the ceiling. I want to help him.
In my experience as a decluttering coach, the hoarder needs to accept they have a problem and ask for help themselves. Otherwise other people trying to help, even a spouse or children, are seen as intrusive and the relationship breaks.
@@Wendyx2000 It's been over 10 yrs and he still ignores it. He just walks into my house anytime, but when I go to his house I need to stay outside even in humid/ hot weather. What should I do?
As the parent of a hoarder it is heartbreaking!! After 20+ years of cleaning and repairing in an attempt to help I can tell you this. Until the hoarder excepts and gets mental help nothing will change!! Cleaning up and clearing out only makes room for the hoarder to get more stuff, it changes nothing.
If the hoarder could only feel how heartbreaking it is for those that care to watch the decline perhaps they could recover. But honestly, I had to walk away…. I wait for the day I get the call that the state has stepped in, but again, and taken the children. At 67 years old I will be the sole caregiver of the remaining three children while the parents sit in jail with child and animal abuse charges.
Powerless and heartbreaking, so many hostages and victims with this mental illness!! Nothing worse than a hoarder standing in filth and clutter choosing stuff over loved ones.
My hoarding behavior relates to my ADHD, the impulsivity about shopping and organizing my things, but after the death of my father is when it was hard for me to let go, before I would buy things and get rid of things.
I am MISERABLE. afraid of therapy I have kids and I know I take care of them but I’m scared to be honest to therapist about my symptoms because it sounds terrible . Nothing like dangerous - it’s my mind ! Nothing violent or anything even related to my kids but my ocd is so bad I have gotten to the point where I am having trouble making money and leaving my house . I feel like the world around me is crumbling .
I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I'm also sorry no one has replied because you sound like you're really distressed.
First of all this isn't your fault. You have a legitimate issue and you are open and honest about it. The cleanliness of your house does not dictate your capabilities as a mother. I imagine that you are a wonderful mother who's children are blessed to have. You are seeking help, and you are facing the nightmare that is OCD and you should not best yourself up for living with mental health issues.
Second, child services can be absolutely awful so I understand your hesitance to reach out to mental health professionals etc due to the risk of their involvement. You can go to therapy and be honest about your OCD and take your time and see whether you feel safe enough to disclose your house situation. It's better you get some help than no help and if it doesn't work out you can call the therapist and say 'i don't think this is working, I'm going to seek help elsewhere thank you'.
There are domestic cleaners and there are forensic cleaners who specialise in cleaning and helping with hoarder houses. I'm sure there might be some in your local area! It helps you get a little bit of stress off your back if you would want to clear some areas out at some point. Sometimes asking family or friends is worse so I'd definitely recommend having a look to see what's out there. You might be surprised.
Again I'm so sorry you're struggling, my comment is a bit late but I hope you are well ❤
Your therapist is a tool, (one I'd like to afford) you this to your benefit. Best of luck moving forward.
This stranger I met wanted to be roommates, I said no. I'm not being roommates with a stranger. Come to find out she's a hoarder. I would've been MISERABLE. She seems like a great girl but living in clutter or things that just sit all year that isn't even being used. I feel the same exact anxiety a hoarder does when having to live like that. She lied to me telling me all her excess junk would go here or there .... Once I signed the lease she told me no matter if I like it or not it's going in the basement. So I told her thanks I'm not moving in. She can live along side someone who doesn't care about that, I do ... Material things have no meaning in my life. I'm not attached to belongings esp not ones I don't even use. I feel I dodged a major bullet and I actually thank you in my mind for allowing me to dodge a big bullet. I'm a minimalist, I only recently found out that she's a hoarder. Some can deal, I wouldn't and won't.
My friend is a hoarder and it is super bad. Probably like a level 10 hoarder. She is completely destroying her life: her daughter doesnt want to go home, she cant handle her finances, she has problems keeping a job, neighbors & landlords hate her, she suffers from low self -esteem.
And there is nothing that i can do about it. I don't feel responsible for her. I'm not her caretaker & there is literally nothing i can do about it.
It is so bad that the first hurdle is denial. She is convinced that either there is no problem, or the problem is the messiness of her daughter or the problem is that her daughtee and I don't clean enough for her, or she just doesnt enjoy cleaning house like other people.
But, i wouldnt be a friend if i didnt attempt to suggest that perhaps avoiding the problem is harmful. But she is so far in denial that you can only say something once or twice a year.....and then she will rage with anger for 6 months because she feels criticized.
1:30 😂 I had to laugh at this part that is so true, I know The thought process to the majority of things I’ve ever done.
This was very helpful. I wrote the questions down. I actually needed exactly this for what I was doing before searching for help lol
My hoarding is tied to not having a lot of people in ky life and facing some trauma in my childhood from people who are supposed to love and protect me. I dont feel connected to things i dont even care about things, but its a bit of a fortress keeping me safe from getting hurt by people failing me. But its also something i get from my dad and grandmother. Its just overwhelming while its also a bit of apadding from people because im sensitive and have experienced people being rather unkind and abusive
thank you for this thought video.
Thank you so, so much for this video and the questions you listed that can help make the process of getting rid of things more straightforward!
Mom was a hoarder. She was impossible to deal with and no chance of reform. She recently died, I can now start digging my father out. The house is BEYOND disgusting. I felt such little emotion when she died because her hoarding took away a happy childhood for me and no chance for my child to get to know her as grandma.
What percentage of hoarders truly want to get better? I would say less than 10%, so this is not a solution for most. Still, helping a few is, well, helping those few and worth doing. Is There medication that can calm the anxiety during the process? Would they take it?
Thankyou!❤🎉 Best videoclip so far on this subject.❤❤❤
I have undiagnosed ocd among other things and have hoarding tendecies, and this moved me a lot, thank you. For me its not only the 'get rid of it part' that's hard but more so the 'how to get rid of it'. I have so many things that could be sold, could be given away or delivered to a recycling center but the options just go in loop eveytime i start. Do you have any reading tips for how to work through hoarding tendencies? Would appreciate
Sometimes hoarders end up being removed from their hoard for safety.
Very informative info! Thanks for sharing!
Thank u for making this video my mom thinks its just trash
Thank you. Plz post more videos on hoarding overcome tips
Recently since months i m going through same "just right" thought.. And that thought has made my days worst....the thought says if i get my own room, own space and peaceful environment during day time then only whatever i have studied will be granted....being a dropper i have wasted hell lot time finding solutions but nothing helped... i m feeling so anxious... I did 1 therapy session with therapist which was not that much satisfactory... Plz give me some suggestions 🙏
I have hoarding, im trying to clean up my room [ the only place that's really cluttered ]
This video called me out SO BADLY....
I would say im a partial hoarder if not a hoarder and I'm 16. Every week i clean my room but it gets messy after like 3 days or i never manage to clean/organize it and a lot of times i don't have places where to put stuff. I am trying my best to get rid of things which mostly are clothes and small items and a lot of times i want to buy more stuff but are hard to get rid of.
4:02 yeah that’s not gonna happen. No cleaning crews coming to steal all my stuff. 😳
Okay. I don't think I am a hoarder but I think I'm getting there, basically. And, I can work with this, because, there is an allowance for making up a rule that makes sense to deal with contingencies. Because, like, I have some things that are not put up because someone hid the things I need to put them on a fence or wall. So, those I can set aside and wait for the finding of those necessary items. I can do that.
my mom and her boyfriend need help. they’ve hoarded all their life. next thing you know, my half baby sister is going to grow up a hoarder.
I have ADHD with co-morbidities of depression (which is always bad) and OCD. I hoard because when I was a child my parents would throw my personal items away, either in front of me or behind my back, telling me I don't deserve anything let alone nice things. Now, being an adult and living alone, I can buy what I want without anyone telling me I shouldn't or throwing it away. I live in a very small flat/apartment and my sewing and arts and crafts room (which used to be my bedroom (I now sleep in the lounge)) is full of those items. And because I have depression and I'm not up to doing any projects it just doesn't get used. Yet I still buy more of those items in the hope that that one item will kick start my creativity. Oh god I'm a mess 😖😖😖😖😖😭😭😭😭😭. Someone just shoot me. PLEASE.
I hoard all kinds of bags, cosmetic pouch, purses, books, kitchen stuff, clothes, earrings, shoes....i have brought them in. Theu actually make me happy...at least for awhile. And now...there's just too much stuff 😂
Nate, I love your videos, but I have a question. Recently I have been having these terrible intrusive thoughts. They go like this. "What if you see something very graphic or violent online, and you end up liking it and want to see more, so you look deeper and find it, and end up become a twisted, terrible person". I know it is oddly specific, but I basically combined the thoughts into a general idea. I would love if you could try to give me some tips with going forward with these thoughts. I have heard that exposure and response therapy is effective, but I do not even want to imagine what things I might see if I did ERP therapy, and I get scared I will like that and the cycle repeats. Some things that I believe makes this worse is that I love learning about things, and I was researching the Sandy Hook shooting, and I had saw that the shooter spent a lot of time in his room and eventually went down a spiral of becoming obsessed with bad things, and I basically said "I spend a lot of time in my room, so that will happen to me". And I also fear of suddenly losing control of myself and doing something that is terrible. I believe this is Harm OCD, but I haven't been officially diagnosed. Hope you see this.
What I do is to just go “I guess we’ll never know” to myself and sing a happy little tune.
I'm not a psychologist, but I would advise you to look into a form of ocd called pure o, and if you think you might have it, look into therapy. There are many ways to get it under control.
What is to do when trauma causes ocd
What kind of camera do you record your videos with? Love your vids!
Recology is our new trash, compost, and recycling company that picks up every two weeks . They have a store for donations, things repurposed to purchase, etc. AND they make use of repurposing clothing! They make bags, clothes, etc out of clothes. I think they break down the material then reuse it. Check online.
Hi sir when I saw your vedios I get relief my problem is that when iam in classes I look at pant jip of teacher and try not see it but I'm not focusing on studies by this pls save me sir😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Ive been this way for so long i feel like its okay to be this way
See the other problem I have is someone else can come in and organize all my things but I can't keep it that way
My roommate says it cause I'm just lazy....idk
Hey I want to know how to overcome self doubt
Overcoming self-doubt involves recognizing your achievements, challenging negative thoughts, setting realistic goals, and seeking support from friends or professionals. Start by acknowledging your strengths and gradually building confidence through small, achievable steps. Sometimes I recommend spending 5min at the end of each day writing down 1-3 achievements that you accomplished that day, in a dedicated notebook.
Hey man I have a question, can you PLEASE make a video on anxitey idk why but my anxiety is so bad when I'm in a parking lot and see a car coming I grab my family members hand than pull them away and run away from the car if you make a vid I think it would help
I have a cap of a soda bottle that I coloured in just sitting on my side table but if I get rid of it something bad will happen. I have a closet full of old Barbies and dolls and accessories from the dolls that I haven't used in years since I was little! I get embarrassed and keep my closet door shut when I have friends over because I'm a teenager not a 6 year old. I want my room to be basic just with my bed, shelves, decor and my vanity. Ofc I wanna keep some things like my childhood dolls that I will keep forever and probably give to my future children but for now juts put them at the top of my closet but other things like my stock pile of beanie boos and shopkins probably need to go. Any tips?
I am unable to find a good therapist in my area . Can I use your programme as a proxy?
That’s what I created it for. 😉
Do you have a program specifically designed to cure hoarding. I'm not sure if it's OCD hoarding or some other type of hoarding. I'm not sure one video will do the trick.
00:01:35 100% accurate
Thank you for this video. I am hordeing things and I dont know what to do really my parents were also horders... my start in hording was done with trading cards but its gotten worse. With Pop vinyls and more basically I spent my inheritance on items and have spent more then all of it on items food and more... but I don't know what to do to stop the cycle.
HOARDING IS OCD?? WHAT
How do I work with a friend of mine that has this problem
thank you
In recent times, when I get doubts during a film, I rewind those scenes and get to know about it. But it turns into a compulsion now. From your tips, I didn't rewind for the unwanted scenes and only for those which are really necessary.
I don't know why but when the film is about to end, I have a feeling that I'm not gonna have a satisfying feeling about the film (though it's good) and when I think of the scenes in that movie, I get anxious that the film is not satisfying for me. Any tips?
(Sry for spamming this in 2-3 videos, I'm kindly hoping for an answer)
@SchwarzWeiße Wand sure man. Not considering it much recently..its getting ok
Where do you lump multimillionaires and billionaires, nobody really needed that much,much,much money.
1:53
I’m close to 50 and I’m currently at this moment hair pulley While watching this
Is there a free hypnosis perhaps helping people to be able to let go
Can I hire you to come help me?
And how ca I do exposure
Do you or someone you know struggle with hoarding? What does it look like? 🤔
My uncle struggles wIth this. His room is piles of junk to the high ceiling. Thank unfor the video i will hope he will watch it to become better for himself and hisnstruggles
Is OCD hoarding and hoarding the same?
Some of my family struggle with it on my dad side
It caues fights cause they cant see its a problem and if you try to explain for years you ended up physically sick and frustrated and they dont understand
I’m a hoarder… I’ve been trying to declutter for years, but I’m stuck. I’m not bringing much stuff anymore, but still have trouble letting go of stuff.
All those rich people hoarding money they cannot use their brain. I can help you: send those money to me!
Great plan put add in local wanted on line .
“Wanted not used money “
👍
Can you add arabic subtitles in your channel 💕💕
😊✈️🛩️
As someone borderline hoarder ..what I absolutely DO NOT want to be given as options
KEEP or THROW AWAY !!!
I would resist right there if you came into my home with only those 2 options ...donations..selling with throwing away the absolute LAST option , would only work for me !
Just watch where you donate. Salvation Army, goodwill and places like that…. Throw a lot away…. Half the time they don’t even look at the stuff. They get so much stuff!
@@melissaamericafirst3098
I've never heard that and I wonder where you got your info from. Maybe if the item is in bad shape, sure, but that's understandable.
@@mr.d.572I volunteered at a thrift store. We had to throw away up to half the donated stuff and we have to pay for the junk removal company. Please only donate gently used stuff that people would pay money for, in Almost-brand new condition, no rips, tears, stains, fussy zipper, loose buttons, forget broken zippers and missing buttons as well. No cat hair, unhygienic smells, no exceptions. Please. And thank you 😊
I'm a low level hoarder, it doesn't look too bad, my home is mostly liveable, but I have the feelings and can relate to it all. For a lot of objects there was never actually joy at the first moment of it being in my possession, just a feeling of responsibility and shame and fear of loss, right from the start. I'm working through it, it's a process. The key thing for family and others supporting me is that they don't cross my boundaries because that just retriggers all the feelings that create the anxiety and desire for control and makes things worse. I try and donate when possible as the thought of things going into landfill can be unbearable.
I'm about a 1 to a 2 level hoarder but it's been pretty bad in the past like nearly a 4
You can be in huge distress from hoarding and still have a reasonably functioning home
I’m a collector, and also a hoarder. It got very bad after a terrible, regional flood. I bring home anything which could be useful. There’s no more room. I can’t find anything. The piles fall over. I’ve been declutterring for a year. It’s flat-surface-itis, so I committed myself to never place anything on top of the garage refrigerator. That’s a win.
Thanks for pointing out that I have things I want but won’t be using daily or even monthly 👍, I’m currently donating 25% of those items
This is good. Are you able to do any more about how to help yourself cure your cluttering/hoarding problem? And also how to create organisation when you have little/none. What rules do you use? or limits?
I saw a young man on a hoarding show who was afraid to vacuum his dog’s hair up because he thought the dog would die. I’m so glad he got home.
What about someone who"cherishes" actual garbage?
are you talking about yourself? sounds interesting!
@@judymiller5154 haha! No. I just(very briefly) had a flatmate who would get so mad at me if I threw absolution ANYTHING out, including expired bottles of food with fungi growing in it! Ew
@@tikster67 eeew! certainly makes it clear this IS a mental illness. I watch the Hoarders videos...I may have a slight compulsion, but I will label a ziploc for items (like travel size soap, toothpaste etc) and can then tell myself "I have enough". Same with plastic bags. I pick up interesting rocks but display them and get rid of one when I bring in a new one. I see some people have large, multiple collections of semi-valuable items that can't be accessed, kept clean, or used. But others literally cannot throw out trash or rotten food. All kinds!!
Merry Christmas 🎄
For me it feels like I am throwing money away
Im 19 and i believe im starting to get a hoarding problem, lately clothes and art supplies and make up have been piling up in my room Ill try to look threw everything and make piles of stuff i want to donate/ keep and try to organize it like a normal person.. but it ends up in bags or boxes and they pile up, as i watch this I’m trying to sort through the mess as i watch this. I dont want this problem to become worse I’m going to be 20 next year i want to get this problem under control as fast as possible
do you have anything in one bag/box marked donate, even if its not full? take it out to your car right now! next trip to town drop it off! see, you CAN do this !! congratulations and God bless ❤️🙏❤️
Great video - thank you.