Funny Amazon Reviews PART III

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  • Опубліковано 11 лис 2024

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  • @brianjrichman
    @brianjrichman 4 роки тому +538

    Welcome to today's Meme Accounting...
    Amazon Reviews Part 3 published at 3am my time. On a Sunday morning. Bloody hell Simon, some of us need our beauty sleep. Come on now.... just three more hours latter and we'll all get a 'morning treat' or... are you a vampire who only does this at night... is THAT the secret of the basement?
    Welcome to scandisk... F*ing skip quickly: 2
    Lazy one: 1 (good - the team can actually pack more into a shorter video)
    ETA Space heater gets a mention: 1
    Simon picks hos ear and then wipes the goop on his blazer: 1
    Red Solo Cups: 13
    Sponge Bobs square pants: 1
    Script taps: 5
    Script Slaps: 2
    Boi with the Blaze: 1
    I get a mention: 4
    Simon has trouble talking: 15
    Chill Dude: 1
    Smash that dislike button: 3
    ...and depart: 3
    I stand when I Blaze: 1
    Thanks for leaving me alone: 1 (says mister gummy bear)
    Enron mug appearances: 19
    Ryan... Money back: 1
    AHHHH.. Just give me my money: 1
    u gotta sick this first: 1
    Shut the F*uck up Grant: 1
    Danny's life story: 1
    Danny's monster hand: 5
    Danny how do you fit all the stuff in the basement: 1
    Bird and a mouse: 1
    Picachu's Penis shadow: 1
    Does Simon have Trump sized hands?: 1
    #cancelsimon: 3
    Simon's in the middle of that mofo: 1 (you should keep that one quiet Mister Average).
    Oh Fo Sho: 1
    Oh Shit Looseal: 1
    Spiderman with boobs mouse mat: 1
    Use all the glue: 1
    Use a Saturn V rocket to melt that shit down: 1
    Windows 8 is the best: 1 (nahhhh not at all)
    Upgraded to Windows 95: 1
    Go-Go-Go-Go-Go-Go-Go: 1
    OOOOhhhhhhhhhh - moving on: 1
    Raid shadow Legends: 1
    What the F*ck is that?: 1
    Sonic the hedgehog: 1
    God like Amazon Delivery truck: 1
    Clouds in the air: 4
    Why are you screaming again? WHY?: 1
    Simon is god: 1
    Man of mystery: 1
    Simon has trouble with Siri: 0 because Siri admitted it's shite.
    Noise Cancelling headphones block out major crimes: 1
    Crap little steering wheel tray: 1
    Danny can't pass his driving test: 1
    Simon insults all people who can't pass the driving test: 1
    (I passed one in the UK and one in the USA - let me tell you, the British one was WAY harder than the American one).
    F******CK: 1
    OHHH MYYYY: 1
    Easier to ignore all the frightened screams: 1
    I have one of those sun shades for my car: 1
    Don't stick your head out the window: 1
    Hair Covered vomit encrusted armchair: 1
    Simon doesn't clean himself: 1 (Eeuuuwwwwww)
    Bob: 15
    Who's to lazy to clean himself Simon?: 1
    Like 70 different timezones: 1
    A little bit ridiculous: 1 (Only a little?)
    Boobless: 1
    F*ck you science: 2
    Smash that like button: 1
    Street cleaning tractor: 1
    Foaming Business Blaze: 1 (WTF simon, WTF?)...
    Enjoy Cocaine Responsibly: 1
    Today's Meme Counting total: 147
    Simon, don't say to anyone that I got $100 of merch off you or the Tax people will want a T shirt at least!!!!!
    Comestibles... That's a Monty Python reference that went way over Simon's bald head.
    Denon HiFi gear actually had quite the reputation. and was REALLY expensive in the 1990's.
    For those that wonder, a 20 minute video of Simon's took 45 minutes of work to generate this post.
    Now to catch up on my sleep.

    • @shanewex
      @shanewex 4 роки тому +44

      You are and forever will be an absolute legend.

    • @jamespaxton6395
      @jamespaxton6395 4 роки тому +24

      Absolute Legend!

    • @xtramoist9999
      @xtramoist9999 4 роки тому +20

      Pst.
      Pssssst. Brian! Deadpool with boobs mouse mat... quick change it, no one's looking!
      I won't tell the tax man. I got ya.

    • @brianjrichman
      @brianjrichman 4 роки тому +13

      @@xtramoist9999 Deadpool. Of course....

    • @AndrewTJackson
      @AndrewTJackson 4 роки тому +17

      Thank you, Meme Accountant. We hereby recommend you to be promoted to Head Meme Auditor for all your hard work and valued contributions, thank you!! :-)

  • @HovektheArtist
    @HovektheArtist 4 роки тому +373

    Don't let Simon lie to you, Danny actually had a swollen hand because Simon tightened the chain that keeps him attached to the boiler he busted

    • @edmund850
      @edmund850 4 роки тому +21

      Allegedly

    • @Azerkeux
      @Azerkeux 4 роки тому +4

      I wonder if Simon ever got his heating sorted out or if he is still warming his balls on the ETA

    • @puellanivis
      @puellanivis 4 роки тому +6

      @@Azerkeux He said he did. But he still has the ETA around, because it’s great thing to rest his feet on, when he gets tired standing.

    • @damonwagner3855
      @damonwagner3855 4 роки тому +3

      I thought it was the overly tightened calculator watch....

    • @HovektheArtist
      @HovektheArtist 4 роки тому +3

      @@damonwagner3855 if you mean he uses the chain links like an abacus then yes

  • @adamfrazer5150
    @adamfrazer5150 4 роки тому +260

    I love how Simon spends at least 30% of every Blaze veering completely of topic and getting lost in the anecdotes he wheels out........Danny writes a paragraph on an injury he just got, and gets raked over the coals.
    It's the BizBlaze Way !

    • @NomaddUK
      @NomaddUK 4 роки тому +5

      Did you notice how many cups he gets through in this video?

    • @adamfrazer5150
      @adamfrazer5150 4 роки тому +3

      @@NomaddUK Hahahaha you know I'm going back to count now man - maybe it's a cocktail of coffee and crushed Dexedrine....allegedly 😬

    • @PaulsScene
      @PaulsScene 4 роки тому +3

      @@NomaddUK Two. The red solo cup at the beginning followed by the Enron mug. The latter only has the logo on one side, so in some shots it looks like a plain white mug.

    • @adamfrazer5150
      @adamfrazer5150 4 роки тому +3

      @@PaulsScene you sir, have a keen eye (probably two of them I'm guessing) 👍🍻

  • @johnfrerichmann651
    @johnfrerichmann651 4 роки тому +949

    I like to think that we’re simons favorite channel

    • @Stunningandbrave
      @Stunningandbrave 4 роки тому +147

      Allegedly.

    • @roboticzamat
      @roboticzamat 4 роки тому +27

      we'd better be

    • @joehemmann1156
      @joehemmann1156 4 роки тому +17

      Business Blaze? Or specifically the commenters on the Blaze?

    • @TheTomconroy
      @TheTomconroy 4 роки тому +43

      BB has ruined all the other channels.
      I watch every single one of these I can
      The others are just what interests me
      Reddit Spacing

    • @patricksanders858
      @patricksanders858 4 роки тому +19

      Simon actually sponsors this channel.

  • @Vanilla0729
    @Vanilla0729 4 роки тому +285

    "Enjoy Cocaine Responsibly."
    Legendary advice there Simon!

    • @brendaperez9597
      @brendaperez9597 4 роки тому +13

      Allegedly

    • @sebastianriemer1777
      @sebastianriemer1777 4 роки тому +8

      That's on the same level as responsible unprotected sex and responsible drunk driving. 😂

    • @harrypadarri6349
      @harrypadarri6349 4 роки тому +5

      sebastian riemer I remember one video from a German show that ended with a pretty hardcore advice. Roughly translated: „And remember kids, noone gets addicted by a single shot of heroin!“ It was an interview with a fake guest containing like 30 insane curse words in a couple of minutes insulting the host. The host was called „communist pig“ and „fake news system prostitute“. Epic, good old public broadcasting. XD

    • @goliathcleric
      @goliathcleric 4 роки тому +5

      Its the alleged explanation of why business blaze uploads at completely random hours

    • @billspangler2685
      @billspangler2685 4 роки тому +5

      @@sebastianriemer1777 responsible unprotected sex is pulling out, lol!

  • @aramakifox2408
    @aramakifox2408 4 роки тому +45

    Business Blaze has honestly become my favourite channel on UA-cam whilst I've been stuck indoors... thanks for cheering me up, Simon. :)
    I have the greatest sympathy for poor old Danny stuck in that basement... it's horrible not being able to go outside

    • @brainblaze6526
      @brainblaze6526  4 роки тому +12

      Thanks. Legend.

    • @Memento_Mori_Morals
      @Memento_Mori_Morals 4 роки тому +1

      Same here! It's super funny and entertaining and I enjoy the longer videos personally. I have sympathy for Danny not being able to pass a driving test... but find it funny, too thou hahahaha and I'm disabled so..... lack of coordination is NOT a disability either. Being *disabled* is a disability, like having a neck/back spinal injury that affects your ability to stand. (but not my ability to press pedals.)

    • @danieljones9937
      @danieljones9937 3 роки тому

      @@Memento_Mori_Morals There is a condition affecting coordination called dyspraxia, although I suspect Danny doesn't have that. (I do and can't drive, although I did know someone once who was diagnosed with dyspraxia who could; I took one trip with him driving - never again. The dude was downright dangerous. We were talking and he took his eyes off the road to look at me. Luckily I didn't and alerted him to an oncoming tree in time.)
      Dyspraxia is counted as a 'motor disability' in the UK.
      www.nhs.uk/conditions/developmental-coordination-disorder-dyspraxia-in-adults/

  • @bjames86
    @bjames86 4 роки тому +96

    No one:
    Simon: "This is my space heater. There are many like it, but this one is mine."

    • @skyden24195
      @skyden24195 4 роки тому +7

      "This is my heater, this is my heat. This one's my warmer, this one's my meat!"
      Sorry... couldn't resist mate.

    • @leptoon
      @leptoon 4 роки тому +1

      No one? What do you mean, no one?

    • @thehistoryvideogameandgame4730
      @thehistoryvideogameandgame4730 Рік тому

      His name is ETA

  • @Annianapenda
    @Annianapenda 4 роки тому +285

    Simon: brags about sending our Meme Accountant 100$£€(?) worth of vouchers..... also Simon: complains about getting vouchers from Ryan Air..... 😂😂😂👌🏽

    • @James-co2nb
      @James-co2nb 4 роки тому +29

      Purchthemurch vouchers > Ryanair vouchers. Not even allegedly.
      Allegedly.

    • @j.l.9029
      @j.l.9029 4 роки тому +5

      Simon is slowly becoming Michael O'Leary

    • @jonnunn4196
      @jonnunn4196 4 роки тому +5

      To be fair, airline vouchers would be useless if you aren't planning on flying within one year. While I hadn't yet bought tickets before COVID made it doubtful and the event in Flanders got cancelled that would have been ongoing now, I know several who had and now have vouchers for way more than they can possibly use before they expire.

    • @JacquelineUnderwood
      @JacquelineUnderwood 4 роки тому +6

      Jon Nunn yeaaaah I have basically an IOU for a flight to China right now because they wouldn’t have given me the full amount for a flight (it was round trip, and they were going to give me half instead of the price of a single flight) they better not have a time limit on it

    • @Annianapenda
      @Annianapenda 4 роки тому +3

      Jon Nunn I totally understand the situation, but I just thought it was funny to have those two scenarios within the first 3min of the video 😉😂

  • @andyv16012
    @andyv16012 4 роки тому +101

    I want Danny to write my Eulogy and Simon to read it, complete with his ad libing, and bleeps.

    • @WanderingWriter
      @WanderingWriter 4 роки тому +16

      Don't forget Sam's memes

    • @skyden24195
      @skyden24195 4 роки тому +13

      Simon: "Welcome to EulogyBlaze. I am your eulogizer Simon, Danny writes a eulogy for the deceased, Sam adds some memes, there's some silliness, and some facts about the person in the casket."

    • @andyv16012
      @andyv16012 4 роки тому +4

      I'm sorry I forgot Sam the memes tie it all together.
      I also want Simon to do his now famous "script slap", when I hear he practices at home in front of the mirror.

    • @andyv16012
      @andyv16012 4 роки тому +4

      @@skyden24195 that would be EPIC!
      I can't wait to see what he may present in the Bonus facts.

    • @andyv16012
      @andyv16012 4 роки тому +2

      @@skyden24195 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @Kangamoos
    @Kangamoos 4 роки тому +29

    I love that I can tell how long ago this was filmed by the length of Simons beard. Plus he still refers to "his heater" as if we've not met yet.

  • @shaunmattice6413
    @shaunmattice6413 4 роки тому +90

    Love watching Simon complain about standing. But he's the not the one chained in basement writing lazy scripts...

    • @shookings
      @shookings 4 роки тому +7

      Hey, Danny knows his place

  • @CypressJuice
    @CypressJuice 4 роки тому +93

    I've noticed the red solo cups you got from a viewer are slowly spreading across your shelves and background of the room.....

    • @jamespaxton6395
      @jamespaxton6395 4 роки тому +7

      Further adding to the inside jokes 😄

    • @kingfuzzy2
      @kingfuzzy2 4 роки тому +3

      Yes please ( :

    • @nunyabidness674
      @nunyabidness674 4 роки тому +2

      now the real question is, who is willing to spend the $435.86 (Via Greybeal distributing) and ship him another 6-7 cases at 1000 cups per case >:)

    • @lisasteedman-schichtel3257
      @lisasteedman-schichtel3257 4 роки тому +7

      That's just what Red Solo cups do, like wire clothes hangers or rabbits. It's good that he keeps them stored in BB's quarters. If he took them home, people of all sorts would turn up at his door in droves (because Red Solo Cups mean it's a party and covid-19 guidelines be damned) and soon there would be Red Solo Cups half-full (half-empty?) containing some sort of alcoholic beverage placed on every surface in the house and no one would claim ownership of any of them and as soon as the cups were ALL treated in this manner, the party would be officially over and Simon's cleaning lady would be working overtime to clear the place of the disease-ridden red monsters. I don't make the rules, I just observe and smh. The Labor Day party at The University of Central Florida last weekend is a prime example of the devastation that occurs when there is a group of college students with a three day break from school when some yahoo decides to throw Red Solo cups into the already precarious situation. Chaos! Anarchy! Students identified on videos shown *violating the covid-19 guidelines for proper social distancing* supplied to news reporters and university administrators are forced into Quarantine Tents or invited to leave campus and go home for 14 days.
      No, Simon, for the sake of all that is good and sacred DO NOT TAKE THOSE THINGS HOME! EVER!

  • @metalavenger23
    @metalavenger23 4 роки тому +72

    I like how progressively the bleeps let more and more of the curse words through as the video goes on, till by the end the cussing isn't even edited out.

    • @harrypadarri6349
      @harrypadarri6349 4 роки тому +14

      Thanks UA-cam for ruin my joke! I tried to make a joke by writing a comment in which I used curse words with asterisks to simulate bleeping. I did let the words be increasingly visible and ended with: these guys are hilarious m-f-ers. The comment was instantly removed. 😢

    • @c.james1
      @c.james1 4 роки тому +13

      You can also thank UA-cam for the reason why they do that in the first place. Apparently, the more curse words and other "nefarious" stuff in the first 5-10 minutes of a video the higher the chance it will get demonitised, with less chance of getting demonitsed for the same stuff later on in the video. Makes no sense to me, but then I'm not a machine learning algorithm that knows everything about everything on YT.

    • @crazyrapt3r
      @crazyrapt3r 4 роки тому +5

      @@c.james1 iirc the change came when UA-cam switched from "click = money" to "watch time = money" but with that said, I don't think there's any way for it to 'make sense' it's totally nonsensical and I have no idea why an algorithm would be built to scrub through a video for 'bad words' in the first place, so I'm completely baffled by the fact it somehow gets lazier the farther into the video it scrubs, shit's wack fam

    • @brainblaze6526
      @brainblaze6526  4 роки тому +9

      @@harrypadarri6349 Hahahhaha, that's funny in itself :)

  • @erikgratiot982
    @erikgratiot982 4 роки тому +18

    I love how simon just comes alive in these business blaze videos. I always have one of his channels playing throughout the day when I need a break from podcasts.

  • @killionalexander30
    @killionalexander30 4 роки тому +17

    Simon: 1st time here? You're probably wondering what's going on... Me: I've been here almost a year and half the time I wonder what's going on here simon.

  • @scotmac5143
    @scotmac5143 4 роки тому +33

    Danny's been putting his wrist and hand to good use while stuck down the basement. ✊✊

  • @tyler6405
    @tyler6405 4 роки тому +63

    “Windows scandisk, you’re useless”
    I was once like you, but then Windows scandisk actually fixed my Xbox’s messed up hard drive.
    Do I understand it? No. Did it shake everything I thought I knew to its very foundation? Yes.
    Emphatically yes. Allegedly.

    • @k.stacey7389
      @k.stacey7389 4 роки тому +6

      Even a busted clock gives you the correct time twice a day.

    • @stoobie94
      @stoobie94 4 роки тому +4

      @@contradictorycrow4327 Allegedly.

    • @kingfuzzy2
      @kingfuzzy2 4 роки тому +1

      Even fools have wisdom.

    • @darkwinter6028
      @darkwinter6028 4 роки тому

      aragonjohn7 - not always. Sometimes they have their dentist remove them. 😜

    • @kingfuzzy2
      @kingfuzzy2 4 роки тому

      @@darkwinter6028 yes please : D

  • @DamonMcLean1
    @DamonMcLean1 4 роки тому +198

    Haven't been this early since I ran out of coke. Allegedly

    • @remlatzargonix1329
      @remlatzargonix1329 4 роки тому +8

      ,Damon Mclean ....of course, it is alleged because I can't imagine YOU running out of cocaine!......(assuming that you, allegedly, use cocaine......wink wink)

    • @dippst
      @dippst 4 роки тому +2

      alledgedlys.

    • @thegoodfooddude7395
      @thegoodfooddude7395 4 роки тому

      Allegedly.....*blink* Yup sounds right

  • @14gears55
    @14gears55 4 роки тому +57

    I’m a little confused as to why Simon is more concerned about how Danny is fitting all his ergonomic stuff in the basement than how he got the money to pay for it. Better make sure Danny didn’t get a hold of his credit card

    • @thejudgmentalcat
      @thejudgmentalcat 4 роки тому +6

      Rumor has it Sam makes so much money from memes he sneaked a credit line to Danny, who for some reason doesn't use it for a handsaw, cell phone and large butcher knife. Go figure.

    • @stephjovi
      @stephjovi 4 роки тому +4

      I'd be more concerned that he is able to order stuff. He might contact Amazon and ask them for help 😁

    • @andiward7068
      @andiward7068 4 роки тому +2

      @@stephjovi GL getting passed the bots.

    • @stephjovi
      @stephjovi 4 роки тому +2

      @@andiward7068 he's gotta contact an Amazon seller than, instead of Amazon itself 😇. Good chance to catch a human. Best try to find a czech seller.

    • @stephjovi
      @stephjovi 4 роки тому +3

      Oh wait damn I shouldn't give Danny escape tips we need more Busines blaze videos, made by the holy trinity

  • @jamesbailey4304
    @jamesbailey4304 4 роки тому +20

    Windows 95 might not be able to run *RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS!!!* but I'm quite confident that it can run Doom, and let's be honest, if you have Space 3D Pinball that takes care of all of your gaming needs.

    • @kingfuzzy2
      @kingfuzzy2 4 роки тому +1

      You are goddamn right.

    • @jmdio740
      @jmdio740 4 роки тому

      Oh hell yes! Doom is the beginning and end! And space pinball for when you are bored but don’t have time to commit to doom.

  • @cheezmogreen
    @cheezmogreen 4 роки тому +21

    Haha. Simon found a place for the solo cups. 😂😂 Hell yeah!

    • @GrimKeeper9011
      @GrimKeeper9011 4 роки тому +5

      The fact he's using one for a lamp shade.🤣

    • @cheezmogreen
      @cheezmogreen 4 роки тому +1

      Fuckin right? 🤦🏼‍♂️😂😂

  • @Terri_MacKay
    @Terri_MacKay 4 роки тому +1

    My daughter and I have a robot vacuum (not a Roomba) named Ben...yes, you have to name your vacuum. 😂
    We got it because we have a number of rescue cats, which means a number of litter boxes...and lots of litter on the floor. And, of course, fluffballs of cat hair everywhere. We were sweeping constantly. Since getting Ben, it has been glorious...I can walk through the apartment again IN BARE FEET, and we're not constantly picking up that hair.
    If you have pets, I would highly recommend getting one. We thought we were doing a good job of sweeping until we saw how much more Ben picked up.

  • @seankenno7
    @seankenno7 4 роки тому +35

    Every time Simon yells “hey Siri”, my phone, watch, iPad and MacBook lose their shit

    • @Memento_Mori_Morals
      @Memento_Mori_Morals 4 роки тому +1

      I loved how he asked if Siri was shit and Siri said "yes"

  • @nunyobidniz
    @nunyobidniz 4 роки тому +7

    Sam, you're absolutely killing it, dude😂😂😂

  • @Grabulstamy
    @Grabulstamy 4 роки тому +13

    I can’t wait for Simon’s new channel: Script Slaps & Rim Shots. It’s just 20 minutes of hitting stacks of paper and mouth drum noises

    • @GimmeJimmy23
      @GimmeJimmy23 2 роки тому

      Fashioned into cohesive songs?

  • @Cokehead124
    @Cokehead124 4 роки тому +28

    Danny calling Simon out literally 2 minutes in

  • @MrDan1969
    @MrDan1969 4 роки тому +26

    I enjoy watching Simon's slow descent into insanity during this pandemic.

  • @lindah3879
    @lindah3879 4 роки тому +69

    When we score 150k subs can we have a best/funniest business blaze comments video? Also, we still need a video about Uhaul! It's a good story!

    • @millimetersofmercury
      @millimetersofmercury 4 роки тому +4

      Omg yes do uhaul it is like a damn soap opera

    • @PhanieDaemonia
      @PhanieDaemonia 4 роки тому

      I wonder if the can opener bridge would qualify as "business" fails... At least half of the destroyed truck were rented from the same company, so maybe they would have something to say about it?

    • @millimetersofmercury
      @millimetersofmercury 4 роки тому

      @@PhanieDaemonia OMG YES
      SIMON! ua-cam.com/video/USu8vT_tfdw/v-deo.html
      I mean, I don't know how it'd be made into a video, but I just feel like Simon would like it.

  • @KNR90
    @KNR90 4 роки тому +24

    The new guy: ????
    Me: *asthmatic seal clapping for poor Danny*

  • @michaelmiguelsanchez
    @michaelmiguelsanchez 4 роки тому +19

    I can only imagine the channel was called Business Blaze as Simon Whistler Rants About Random Shit was taken.

  • @jr2904
    @jr2904 4 роки тому +31

    Wazzup, legends? It's after 11 here on the west coast on a Saturday night. Perfect time to enjoy this show the way it deserves, after a few drinks from a solo cup. Cheers

    • @WishUchan
      @WishUchan 4 роки тому +2

      Its 8 in the morning in Europe and i dont even had a freedom torch yet.

    • @jr2904
      @jr2904 4 роки тому +2

      @@WishUchan are you sure? I'm guessing English isn't your first language, but your comment doesn't seem to be truthful. Either way, it's after 5 somewhere so, cheers. "Freedom torch" or not

    • @stormfitness9270
      @stormfitness9270 4 роки тому +1

      It's 9 am here in Africa.😆

    • @joma5721
      @joma5721 4 роки тому +2

      John Stroud it’s 6:50 Greenwich Mean Time (GMT) right now, and Central European Time (everywhere from Spain to Slovenia) is the same as GMT+2, which makes it 8:50 in the majority of continental Europe and Africa. So no, the other commenter isn’t a liar. You just don’t know what you’re talking about.
      Also, “freedom” is old slang. It’s just another way of referring to a cigarette.

    • @fatguybob2778
      @fatguybob2778 4 роки тому +3

      It’s 2 am In Texas and I’ve ran outta weed but thanks to Simon I can still get my blaze on ;)

  • @ancientelixir1311
    @ancientelixir1311 4 роки тому +12

    For me this video came out at 2 in the morning. So I'm watching it because I can't fall asleep

  • @EmilyExplosion27
    @EmilyExplosion27 4 роки тому +3

    I got my first digital watch when I was 9. It had 3 time zones, 2 alarms, stop watch, AND A MAGIC 8 BALL. It was semi-see-through purple with a floral velcro band. I wore it every single day for nearly 5 years (went through so many replacement bands). So when I started high school, my left wrist was still the size of a child's. And well over a decade later I still have an absurdly pale wrist. Magic 8 Ball did not predict that.

  • @james342
    @james342 4 роки тому +1

    I definitely had that watch growing up. It was my favorite prop to refute teachers saying we wont always have a calculator with us... that is until cell phones.

  • @UsernameU222
    @UsernameU222 4 роки тому +12

    If Simon puts on his noise cancelling headphones on a Ryan Air flight, will Michael O'Leary run a meal cart into him?

    • @brainblaze6526
      @brainblaze6526  4 роки тому +6

      He slaps them off your head and throws scratch cards at your eyes.

  • @jigyeshshah4533
    @jigyeshshah4533 4 роки тому +58

    To me this channel belongs to Danny not Simon.... This is Danny's channel Simon just presents it

    • @iowafarmboy
      @iowafarmboy 4 роки тому +14

      Ya, but Danny is locked in SIMON's basement. So, Danny doesn't really get much say.

    • @mrmelty53
      @mrmelty53 4 роки тому +13

      Did anyone remember to walk down and feed Danny?

    • @stephjovi
      @stephjovi 4 роки тому +7

      @@mrmelty53 I'm sure he's getting some weird food all the time. Simon can't afford to lose him. Other channels have writers. Busines Blaze has the holy trinity of Simon Danny and Sam (with the pope Brain the meme accountant)

    • @dappperdan5731
      @dappperdan5731 4 роки тому +7

      N Drizzle He only gets fed only when we creates content!

    • @brainblaze6526
      @brainblaze6526  4 роки тому +21

      Don't tell anyone. That's the twist at the end of the movie.

  • @HovektheArtist
    @HovektheArtist 4 роки тому +7

    "nice guy" lex luthor has really perked up with these blazes, allegedly

  • @Arazmithin
    @Arazmithin 4 роки тому +1

    Brian getting merch perch vouchers for his meme accounting seriously made my day. Lmao.

  • @dragonxx444
    @dragonxx444 4 роки тому +15

    Your most enjoyable channel mate! The rest is great... The blaze is the shit though 😁

  • @James-co2nb
    @James-co2nb 4 роки тому +8

    Anyone else see right through the "Grant's my friend that keeps texting me"?
    We know you've got him down there with Danny.

    • @jmdio740
      @jmdio740 4 роки тому

      James or it was just an auto text and he just likes to tell us he has mates.

  • @Ajial01
    @Ajial01 4 роки тому +22

    I want a t-shirt that says "Keep calm and smash that dislike button!"

  • @ignitionfrn2223
    @ignitionfrn2223 3 роки тому +2

    3:50 - Chapter 1 - Ergonomic gear
    7:00 - Chapter 2 - Windows update
    9:30 - Chapter 3 - Audio cable
    12:40 - Chapter 4 - Headphones
    14:15 - Chapter 5 - Steering wheel plate
    16:35 - Chapter 6 - Reflector shade
    17:45 - Chapter 7 - Vacuum robot
    19:15 - Chapter 8 - Apple watch

  • @elmikeomysterio5496
    @elmikeomysterio5496 4 роки тому +3

    Whoever suggested the random cup gag... you are the true legend. I saw the comment but was too drunk to reply. You deserve a medal.

  • @spencerthompson1049
    @spencerthompson1049 4 роки тому +9

    Apparently my Siri thinks we have a similar voice Simon, every time you do hey Siri in your video my Siri pulls up wtf haha

  • @PrestonW9
    @PrestonW9 4 роки тому +39

    If simon likes George Takei's review for the steering wheel tray he'll love George's review of the 55 gallon drum of lube.

    • @sebastianriemer1777
      @sebastianriemer1777 4 роки тому +4

      55 gallon of lube? He must be one of the rare connoisseurs of backdoor fun with male whales.

    • @89Keith
      @89Keith 4 роки тому +13

      Oh my...

    • @NomaddUK
      @NomaddUK 4 роки тому +6

      @@89Keith You took the ... err... words.. right out of my mouth :o)

  • @michaelbrock805
    @michaelbrock805 4 роки тому

    We really need part 4 to have the reviews for The 3 Wolf Shirt (same design as your mug, Simon) - best Amazon reviews ever.

  • @jasonwomack4064
    @jasonwomack4064 4 роки тому +3

    For this channel, Simon needs a coffee mug rack in the background loaded with mugs of failed corporations.

  • @twiztid719
    @twiztid719 4 роки тому +1

    That solo cup is still on the light!!!!! Lol.

  • @jessallard6851
    @jessallard6851 4 роки тому +2

    Why am I awake at 1am excites for a new Blaze?! Freaking love this.

  • @Gappasaurus
    @Gappasaurus 4 роки тому +1

    Love the red Solo cups inhabiting the shelves in the background 😄

  • @AverytheCubanAmerican
    @AverytheCubanAmerican 4 роки тому +10

    Love getting my dose of Simon and memes in one

    • @marcbeebee6969
      @marcbeebee6969 4 роки тому

      Aa Video broken Simon is half size....

  • @knyri3153
    @knyri3153 4 роки тому

    I have 2 roombas. I have named them after 3 weeks into covid lockdown. Christine is the older model, diligent, noisy, reliable, but needs constant cleaning and tends to eat cables Jimmy is the newer model, lazy (always trying to find shortcuts,) hates compact rugs, and spits up hairballs. While they can't stand to be in the same room I do love them both.

  • @Hornfancy
    @Hornfancy 4 роки тому +14

    In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, 'a little fermented curd will do the trick', so, I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles! - Cleese, Cheese Shop

    • @nunyobidniz
      @nunyobidniz 4 роки тому +3

      I would like to buy some CHEEEZZ

    • @petemagnuson7357
      @petemagnuson7357 4 роки тому +1

      Is this a Blaze inside joke, or just internet weirdness? I feel more lost every time I visit a UA-cam comment section, but for some reason I keep hoping this time will be different...

    • @nunyobidniz
      @nunyobidniz 4 роки тому +1

      @@petemagnuson7357 😂😂😂😂 fear not, my dude. This is just a Monty Python reference, a bit of 50-ish year old British comedy

    • @nunyobidniz
      @nunyobidniz 4 роки тому

      @@petemagnuson7357 the Cheese Shop Sketch: ua-cam.com/video/Hz1JWzyvv8A/v-deo.html

  • @Acminy
    @Acminy 4 роки тому

    I have a brain injury, am in a wheelchair and I can't drive...I love it when Simon pays out Danny for driving. I don't get offended in the least. I can't watch too many videos for long, except your videos Simon. Your voice is so soothing and relaxing, even when you're blazing!!

  • @aryasiwakoti729
    @aryasiwakoti729 4 роки тому +74

    nothing like simon rambling off script to put me to bed

  • @robertaviles8451
    @robertaviles8451 4 роки тому +1

    Ha! I remember all of that Win. 95 - even further back! I used to have a 1989 Compaq 286SLT laptop that ran MS/DOS and Win. 3.1 on it! Sadly, in 2013 I lost most of my stuff when a hurricane flooded my house. "Old Reliable" was among the items I lost, but me and my family were safe.

  • @themoviedealers
    @themoviedealers 4 роки тому +19

    Simon, you have an English accent, you're supposed to know polysyllabic words like comestible. Don't ruin my illusion!!!!

    • @brainblaze6526
      @brainblaze6526  4 роки тому +11

      Don't go to the UK. It will ruin your preconceptions.

  • @crazywolfe702
    @crazywolfe702 4 роки тому

    I’ve watch some of your older channels and love them, I’ve been watching this and your mega channel non stop and I just love the humor that’s written from Danny and the natural side tracked rants thats fuckin hilarious! I used to live in Redding so I get most of the English specific jokes and it makes me miss the random chats I had and jokes I would hear from the other pub goers. Keep up the Phenomenal work!

  • @trevor8038
    @trevor8038 4 роки тому +9

    The last time I came this early, I didn't get a second date

  • @EdPenna
    @EdPenna 4 роки тому

    I discovered Business Blaze two days ago, and it's already my favorite Simon Whistler channel.

  • @evientually
    @evientually 4 роки тому +6

    "Good for people who do a lot of waiting".
    You know when I did the most waiting? When I was using drugs. I did a lot of waiting in my car in parking lots, for drugs.
    Enjoy cocaine responsibly.

  • @nckoes
    @nckoes 4 роки тому +1

    I have a steering wheel desk. I'm a home health nurse and I use it to chart between patients. When my husband saw the box he freaked out. He seriously thought it was for driving. 😳

  • @adamfrazer5150
    @adamfrazer5150 4 роки тому +9

    Who remembers Bill Gates splurging on 'Start me up' for the '95 ad campaign ???

  • @PMW3
    @PMW3 4 роки тому

    Danny's ergonomic keyboard never leaves him bored

  • @HovektheArtist
    @HovektheArtist 4 роки тому +14

    It's allegedly 1am when I am allegedly blazing with an alleged boi

  • @jphilb
    @jphilb 4 роки тому +1

    Is that a red solo cup sitting on top of a lamp?? That is a fire hazard, Simon!! Don’t want your house going up in a Blaze!!

  • @worryworm
    @worryworm 4 роки тому +3

    Much love to Danny.

  • @jfkplaysUSA
    @jfkplaysUSA 4 роки тому +2

    Blaze posted 55 minutes ago. 55 minutes missed that I could have been BLAZING!!!

  • @lindah3879
    @lindah3879 4 роки тому +22

    Why are these coming out at such odd times anymore? Simon? Danny? SAM?!?!?!

    • @jr2904
      @jr2904 4 роки тому +4

      I remember seeing them in the morning ish time on the west coast of the USA, but the last few have been late at night for me lol

    • @nolanbrown84
      @nolanbrown84 4 роки тому +4

      Patrick Hudson exactly... Simon lives in Prague. So it's a perfectly normal time for him.

    • @lindah3879
      @lindah3879 4 роки тому +2

      It always was around 1 pm when I take lunch, but lately 1 and now, 2 am! Cleveland, Ohio, USA 🤷🏽‍♀️

    • @teriannebeauchamp254
      @teriannebeauchamp254 4 роки тому

      @@lindah3879 the very late might for me sometime just before midnight on the website.

    • @amandabromell9660
      @amandabromell9660 4 роки тому +2

      It's perfect for me in the UK. I get to eat breakfast and watch the blaze.

  • @shiyoushi5778
    @shiyoushi5778 4 роки тому +1

    Danny's inability to pass a driving test is fair game for mockery. I've got no feet and still drive with hand controls! Disability is no barrier 😁👍

  • @U_Geek
    @U_Geek 4 роки тому +12

    Posted 12 seconds ago, huh this is the earliest I've ever been

  • @anarchyantz1564
    @anarchyantz1564 3 роки тому

    Definitely need more of these. When you have products like "Shittens" on Amazon, you have plenty to go through.

  • @peters7196
    @peters7196 4 роки тому +14

    Guess he read the comment in the last videos about randomly placing the cups with no explanation :)

    • @blib5094
      @blib5094 4 роки тому

      Yo. He's had a solo cup and a coffee cup

  • @victoriawilliams2786
    @victoriawilliams2786 4 роки тому

    You guys crack me up! Its 4:am and my insomnia is bearable because of my laughter. Thank-you oh so very much!

  • @blazensloth8115
    @blazensloth8115 4 роки тому +32

    Simon, don’t be racist to people who can’t afford cleaners to vacuum their homes and need a robot to do it instead.

  • @christopherjohnson8044
    @christopherjohnson8044 4 роки тому

    OMG this man disarms all my preopinions and just loses me in the quriky charm regardless of my mood. An absolute staple of my whole day. Thank you Simon and Danny and everyone involved in letting me see this.

  • @henkdouma8448
    @henkdouma8448 4 роки тому +10

    01:58 I miss the slurring 'Ozzie'-meme. Too much backlash gotten from fanboys of the Osbourne-clan?

    • @brainblaze6526
      @brainblaze6526  4 роки тому +3

      Haha no, but that also implies that I would care.

  • @fluorescentfuture2937
    @fluorescentfuture2937 3 роки тому

    Your deep insight has spiralled to depths never before attempted by a presenter. Can whole heartedly say that I'm a fan. Never give up, never grow up.

  • @ThrottleKitty
    @ThrottleKitty 4 роки тому +13

    Always disappointed by the lack of "O' Danny Boy" jokes

    • @brainblaze6526
      @brainblaze6526  4 роки тому +7

      I GET KNOCKED DOWN

    • @ThrottleKitty
      @ThrottleKitty 4 роки тому +2

      @@brainblaze6526

    • @MxPdog
      @MxPdog 4 роки тому +2

      @@brainblaze6526 if he can get up in the first place you've clearly added links to the captivity chain

  • @shadowprince4482
    @shadowprince4482 4 роки тому

    I don't know if he's already covered it but the "15 yogurts lube" funny amazon review is my all time favorite.

  • @deborahdick6527
    @deborahdick6527 4 роки тому +3

    You might be interested to know that Tesco the uk supermarket still runs its back office on Windows 95 !

    • @paulqueripel3493
      @paulqueripel3493 4 роки тому

      Although ATMs run xp, banks use much older software on the mainframes. It could be 50 years old.

    • @brainblaze6526
      @brainblaze6526  4 роки тому

      @@paulqueripel3493 Hahah I love it when you see a crashed and the XP start bar has appeared or something.

  • @naomiseraphina9718
    @naomiseraphina9718 4 роки тому +1

    Blaze on, you crazy diamonds!!! (Sorry, as Simon probably hasn't caught that reference; it's to do with a late-20th century band called Pink Floyd... whom you've never heard of. Regretting my choice of encouragement already.) ... But I meant it in the most uplifting tones imaginable! Blaze on, oh mighty Business Blaze! You put the spring back into my step like I was strutting through a glue factory in somebody else's hooves!

  • @bignubles
    @bignubles 4 роки тому +3

    Time for the Blaze, kiss the heater for me!

  • @joshuaott7783
    @joshuaott7783 4 роки тому +1

    Woooo, late night Legend! Love the late night/early morning uploads

  • @Xomsabre
    @Xomsabre 4 роки тому +7

    7:54
    Windows 8 (and 10) still have Disk Defrag and Scan Disk...
    I also knew someone who worked on '95 and was ashamed at how much of a buggy piece of shit that OS was... Micro$oft has a tendency to release what I like to call "Beta OSes" as full products. '95 was an Open Beta of '98, 2000 was an Open Beta of XP, Vista for 7, and 8 for 10... Where did Windows 9 go, you ask?
    Some conspiracies will say that dirty code for '95 and '98 included lines such as "Windows 9x" which would bug out on an OS called "Windows 9" but that's just not true... Micro$oft still uses NT versions to keep track of OS kernels, but it's gotten messy since NT 4. Windows 2000 was NT 5, but XP was 5.1/5.2. Vista was NT 6, and Windows 7 was NT 6.1 (you may see where the "Beta test" joke comes into play now...). Windows 8 was NT 6.2 and Windows 8.1 was NT 6.3. They skipped all the way to NT 10 for Windows 10 to sync up the number schemes (2000 would be 5, XP is 6, Vista is 7, 7 would be 8 and 8 would be 9... thus Windows 10 is the 10th NT kernel).

    • @jonnunn4196
      @jonnunn4196 4 роки тому +3

      It wasn't so much Microsoft's own code with the faulty OS check that they could easily fix, but other businesses widely written code.I've commonly seen poorly written code such as String windowsVersion = System.osName.indexOf (8) ; if WindowsVersion

  • @jdrissel
    @jdrissel 4 роки тому +1

    Nice - I have had cheap ones but I finally bought a Razor mouse. I wish I had done it years ago. Well worth the money.

  • @iamjacksyoutube5375
    @iamjacksyoutube5375 4 роки тому +17

    Posted 16 seconds ago, I need a hobby...

    • @dragonxx444
      @dragonxx444 4 роки тому +2

      Me too 🤣

    • @U_Geek
      @U_Geek 4 роки тому +1

      Well you need to listen to something while you're painting.

    • @14gears55
      @14gears55 4 роки тому +2

      Allegedly

    • @erikaskeroth9720
      @erikaskeroth9720 4 роки тому +2

      I think you already have a hobby, waiting and watching Business Blaze episodes as early as possible. If you ask Simon he would probably say that it is a quite respectable and sensible hobby.

  • @jamiemiller7316
    @jamiemiller7316 4 роки тому +1

    "Just calm down, smash that dislike button and depart." Simon is my hero.

  • @cdrice999
    @cdrice999 4 роки тому +5

    HA! I just caught this 1 minute after upload -- I'm very proud of myself. Third! ;) #CancelSony

  • @kindoflame
    @kindoflame 4 роки тому +1

    Can you do a video on alternative currencies criminals use? The classic example is cigarettes in prison, but what I find much more fascinating is when drug dealers would accept laundry detergent as payment.

  • @noahmaynard33
    @noahmaynard33 4 роки тому +5

    Second

  • @toshirodragon
    @toshirodragon 4 роки тому

    Simon off the leash is an absolute treat. Simon yelling at his friend, who isnt there, for teting him is gold.

  • @jbuckshot01
    @jbuckshot01 4 роки тому

    Danny has it too good. He just needs a bucket for everything. Yes everything. From work to play. All he needs

  • @timothyneiswander3151
    @timothyneiswander3151 4 роки тому +2

    I got a calculator watch for my 20th birthday. I was wearing it when I got into a bit of a scuffle and blocked a punch. The watch took the hit. They split their knuckle open and the LCD screen was cracked and useless. It was a glorious two months with the watch.

  • @aaronhague4777
    @aaronhague4777 4 роки тому +1

    I live in ALASKA and it's great how I come home drunk at midnight. And someone is ranting worse then me.

  • @EMurph42
    @EMurph42 4 роки тому

    Oh I keep missing your new vids because my notifications are muted at night. I love the blaze SO MUCH that I’m going to turn them on for 24/7 just to get my “LOVE # super low” back! It’s nice to get a new one right before bed anyway. Sweet dreams my Bois!

  • @V3RYG00DS1R
    @V3RYG00DS1R 9 місяців тому

    "Don't name your products"
    "ISN'T THAT RIGHT, PETER?"

  • @anthonylombardo4545
    @anthonylombardo4545 4 роки тому

    Simon I've already watched every business blaze you've done as well as today I found out. Make more videos Simon please

  • @diamondsmasher
    @diamondsmasher 4 роки тому

    Roombas - the noisiest furniture re-arranger. Occasionally finds a piece of dirt to push further into the corners. Amazing.

  • @ryanc473
    @ryanc473 3 роки тому +1

    "Amazon's got like, at least 50 products." Well, yeah, technically that's correct but boy is it an understatement lol