The Only Thing I Like About Being Alive
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- Опубліковано 7 тра 2019
- STAND UP:
Quality Time:
Marathons - • "Running A Marathon" -...
Horses - • "Horses" - Jim Gaffiga...
Appendix Removal - • "I Had To Have My Appe...
Museums - • "MUSEUMS ARE BORING......
Lying - • "Sometimes I Lie on St...
Dog Birthdays - • "Dog Birthday Parties"...
Cold Weather - • "Hot Weather vs. Cold ...
Noble Ape:
Japan Vs. China - • JAPAN & CHINA - from N...
My Wifes Brain Tumor - • "My Wife's Brain Tumor...
Massages and Saunas - • "Massages & Saunas" - ...
Standup for the Pope - • Doing stand up for the...
My Least Favorite Doctor - • "My Least Favorite Doc...
Cinco:
Morning Person - • "I'm not a Morning Per...
Fish are Gross - • "Fish are Disgusting, ...
Steak is Manly - • "Steak is manly?" - Ji...
Hiking - • "Hiking..." - Jim Gaff...
Idiot Abroad - • "Idiot Abroad" - Jim G...
Mr.Universe:
Vitamins - • "Do Vitamins Actually ...
Whales - • "Whales" - Jim Gaffiga...
Fitness Goals - • "Fitness Goals" - Jim ...
Home Birth - • "4 Kids/ Home Birth" -...
McDonald's - • "That’s McDonald's!" -...
King Baby:
Jesus and the Apostles - • "Jesus & The Apostles"...
Camping - • "Camping" - Jim Gaffig...
Bacon - • "BACON!" - Jim Gaffiga...
Fried Chicken - • "FRIED CHICKEN" - Jim ...
Beyond the Pale:
Hot Pockets - • Jim Gaffigan - Beyond ...
I'm Korean - • "I'm Korean" - Jim Gaf...
I love doing nothing - • "I love doing NOTHING....
Going Out To Dinner - • "Going Out to Dinner" ...
MERCH Proceeds donated to ThelmagineSociety.org to help food insecure teespring.com/stores/jim-gaff...
LETS GET COOKIN' World’s Favorite Quarantine Cooking Show
Toast (1) • "Let's Get Cookin' - T...
Burgers (2) • "Let's Get Cookin' - B...
Pork Sandwich (3) • "Let's Get Cookin' - P...
Hot Dog & Egg (4) • "Let's Get Cookin' - H...
THE MIKE & PAT SHOW: (the next Pewdiepie or Roblox addicts challenge)
BOLOGNA • Mike and Pat Show: Bol...
DADDY DOG • Mike and Pat Show: The...
HOT POCKETS • My Kids Try/React To T...
SPAGHETTIOS • My Kids Try/React To S...
LIVERWURST • My Kids Try/React To E...
TWINKIES • Twinkie vs Ding Dong: ...
DINNER WITH THE GAFFIGANS nightly 6pm E. Watch past episodes click JOIN & become MEMBER. Membership fee (99 cents) donated to TheImagineSociety.org.
JIM EATS THE WORLD (mukbang asmr local food stand up)
St. Louis Pizza • "St. Louis Pizza" - Ji...
Colombian Breakfast • "Hot Chocolate with Ch...
KC BBQ • "Kansas City BBQ" - Ji...
Spain - Jamon & Churros • "Spain - Jamon, Churro...
Cleveland- Polish Boy • "Cleveland, OH - Polis...
Rochester - Garbage Plate • "Garbage Plate, Roches...
TEXT JIM 646-980-6600
Jim Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer. He presently has 5 stand up specials on Netflix and 2 on Amazon Prime Video. He wrote 2 New York Times Best Sellers DAD IS FAT and FOOD: A Love Story He co-created and starred in a tv series based on his life called The Jim Gaffigan Show. He has appeared in numerous TV shows and films in both comedic and dramatic roles. - Комедії
I am a former bartender and I can assure you that by 2am you become a Wild Life Officer.
Bartender by night, Fish & Game by morning
Amen!!!
What’s a wild life officer
They are from the Forrest Division to protect wild life in the wilderness. You may find simular situation in bars after 2am.
Lol....yes I am as well and you said it perfectly :) lol the worst is ur slammed and they have waited for awhile til u get to them and then they stand there not sure what they want?? Just sorta going hmmmm let me see??? I'm like seriously after all that time u still don't know?? Like when i bartended at night clubs in las vegas people there r clueless..then they bitch ab the prices!! Yeah they r insane but it's like that at every club I don't make the prices!!! They come back and same thing all over again.
I don't know how this guy can kill it every time he comes out with a new special. He's like double jointed funny.
His writing partner/wife is due some recognition.
She's a Jeannie in a bottle. She (along with Jim) grants our comedy wishes!
🧞♂️🍾🧞♀️🍾
Did I write this?
I think only people who drink alcohol like him
Huh? This is the least funny comedian I have ever seen.
He's really a comedic genius though😁😂
‘No ones ever drank a shot and done something they’re proud of.’
‘Ahhh- I got wasted last night and then went out and *planted an acre of Kale* .’
Be well, stay kind and blessings to all~ 🙏🏼
I can never get over that "He was standing where I wanted to stand" line
Jim is crucial in our country's sanity during this tumultuous time. Taking some time for gut laughter is an important reprieve.
Watching his old stuff and seeing how he has matured as a comedian is amazing!!! His timing and polish have gotten to the point of perfection. The way he has incorporated that silly woman like voice that he pretends are comments from a person listening to his performance is priceless.....when he started doing it I thought it was funny but now he has perfected it to the point it's sorta his trademark thing and I totally look forward to him doing it everytime and what he will come up with each time :)
Jim Gaffigan stand up comedy is the best part about being alive.
Yep. Bartender for nearly 17yrs. Always said it was like dealing with a bunch of drunk toddlers 👏 Don't miss it one bit 😅
Jim is a Master at storytelling, ... effortless 🤩
This is one if my all-time favorite Jim Gaffigan segments. It still cracks me up every time I see it. Sooooo many truths. Brilliant, hysterical, and masterfully delivered. 👏👏👏👏👏👏😎😎😎
Jim after hearing how sad robin Williams was i am worried about your happiness. You seem really happy and well balanced. I hope you are, because it would hurt to think you give us all the joy you do if your not happy. I wish I could say that to robin. Can’t help but wonder and I know you read these. Thanks for the joy you bring others bro. Best to you and yours.
I think I’ve watched it five or six times and it’s STILL too funny.
Jimmy the comedic genius!!
Gaffigan and Brian Regan are the kings of clean comedy! If they toured together I'm pretty sure it would tear a hole in the space time continuum
I'm going to see Jim in Sugar Land, TX next month. I can't wait!!
Brilliant. Jim does it all without the "f" word. Imagine that!
I think it's crazy that this comedic genius even gets one thumbs down. This video has 780. I guess it just goes to show there are trolls standing by at all times to do stupid and destructive things.
Jim is flippin hilarious!🤣😂❤️
"I like the lines..." 😂😂😂
Just love you. You always make me laugh.
You look at the people who have gotten the a Mark Twain prize for humor and then there’s Jim Gaffigan... The moral of this story...some awards are just given to be given. Jim Deserves.
One of the funniest guys in Comedy.
Very hilarious routine.
Brilliant 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
In places like Europe and Asia, people in bars are interested in meeting new people. But in my experience in Canada (mostly Toronto), you go to a bar with your friends, and have expensive drinks only with your friends, then leave and go home. What's the point of the bar? Who needs to spend $50++ to have four beers and half a plate of nachos if you're not even going to talk to new people?
Brilliant!
Lol Jim is the best
Look at that guy! He's wasted... in a bar. I came here to read a novel.
Love him! He’s hilarious!
Brilliant.
“She was my best frieeennnndd, but not anymoooorrre.” - Over half of all drunk people in any bar ever.
He's my favorite 😂😂😂
Best one!
" This will cure my normal behaviour" :D
Perfectly genius
The transitions between his jokes are so brilliant. It’s like a well written essay.
Indeed he is obviously a great comedy writer
LMAO
@@whoever_81 His wife writes with him.
He listens...
Perfect description
Jim is one of the best comedians because he tells great, relatable jokes without cursing his way thru them!! He's so underrated. Keep 'em rolling!
The greatest are underrated. In the case of comedians, the clean ones are very underrated. See Brian Regan. And they've been around for a while.
proud2BaNurse....oh for fucks sake, where do you wussies come from? How do you survive on this planet? Cuz everyone who's normal knows you can't trust an adult who doesn't fucking cuss, cuz they're either hidin somethin or a batshit crazy religious whackjob.....
@@branon6565 how's Mr. Hankey's working out for ya? does it hurt?
No, he's not.
Who gives a shit whether or not they cuss.
"you can be funny without cursing"
Well no shit Sherlock, what's your next case? You can be angry without cursing?
Just because a comedian curses doesn't mean he's funny, on the flip side just because a comedian doesn't cuss don't mean he can't be funny.
Comedy is subjective and is different to everyone, it doesn't matter if a comedian curses or not.
If he is funny then people will watch him.
"I got wasted last night and built some low income housing" im dead 😂
Id help out, but I’m sober at the moment
"This'll cure my normal behaviour" is so much gold. Jim you're one of the greatest, wish you would do more stand-up!
"He was standing where I wanted to stand, so I punched him in the head" I'm dead 🤣🤣
Ur aids
His delivery is great
"I need a new identity. Maybe two of them." 😁
Become born again and receive a new identity in Christ!
@@Kariegoz you owe me a cup of coffee. LOL.
You can't tell where one joke ends and the other begins. He's fluid funny.
Truth hurts except when Jim Gaffigan tells it!
Harley Deuce Exactly my stomach kills everytime listening to Jim. He kills me everytime.
It always cracks me up when he speaks as someone else. 😂😂😂
That's his ace.
Damn
Yea that’s the critic sitting in the audience.
He 'borrowed' that from Louie Anderson.
I love when anyone does it
Everything he says about shots is absolutely true. Have you ever noticed the faces people make after they 'take' their shot?
He's right about the faces of everyone who has put a shot in front of me. I'm 5'2" and most of my drinking years I was hovering around 100 lbs. I HAD to reject their crocheted sweaters.
I like "giving" shots, but it's a different kind! LOL!
My Dad used to say,
*If you would start every day, with a shot of whiskey. You could be sure that nothing worse, would happen to you, today."
@@michaellefort6128 dank saying 😂
Why doesn't he just legally change his name to Laffagain????
probably wants to keep his family name
@@IKamiZz well that makes sense......JJ ✌
He doesn't need to change it. He can just use it as the name for a Special
Have you thought about a career in stand up??
😲😲😲
Im a bartender and he is a million percent right! Lol
Scarlet Spyder As a fellow bartender, can confirm
Is one million percent right the same as two million proof right?
@@chessmentor63 lmao
Scarlet Spyder How’s it like
I'd kill my self if had had to listen to a bunch of drunken pigs at 2 am every day
"I need more juice!"
MasterQ 19 🍻😭😂
“I kam here to read a novel” too funny.
Jim, I appreciate you soooo much! You make me just belly laugh constantly and forget everything painful. You're just awesome. Thank you for all the laughter! (I'm a very serious minded introvert who, um, rarely laughs at anything. But you get me EVERY TIME!)
😂😂😂 I tended for 5 years...that was thirty five years ago...my ears are still ringing from all the shouting and loud music. But at least I don't need therapy anymore...😂😂😂
Me too. Worked on Wed., Fri. and Sat. night. Ears still ringing Thurs. and Monday.
TALENT with no vulgarity. Genius ! as usual
Fuck yeah!
Miles McQuerrey I fucking agree
That’s was so brilliant about him .. it is so easy to curse like a sailor after a heartbreak on the sea but being clean and still funny.. now that’s is awesome.. which is why more cartoons for kids and young people deserve more respect.. but that’s another thing in itself..
I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with being vulgar. I curse a lot in my everyday life. That's just how I speak. But there's nothing inherently funny about it either. Plenty of comedians replace clever writing and actual good jokes with stuff that is just shocking and vulgar on its own, and get by on that instinctive gut reaction in the audience to cover up the fact that they're not that good comedians. It's the equivalent of jump scares in horror; a cheap, momentary, startling effect rather than an intelligent, well-written scare that'll stick with you.
Vulgar comedians can be funny, but not because of their vulgarity.
viljamtheninja Very well said.
I'm going to see this guy in 2 days, very excited
Cody - You're going to have "breathing problems." 🤣 Bring your inhaler.
Cody G02 He’s even funnier during live shows, as he’ll often tailor his set to the location where he is by tossing in a couple extra jokes here & there. Seamlessly & hilariously, of course. 😁 Enjoy his show! 😁
mississippi?
@@Death2Progressives yep
i stay in clinton, so been hearing the adverts for awhile. have fun bro
No one ever drank a shot and done something they are proud of.... #truth
Your mom did, but I don't understand why she is proud of you.
Hunter holman ... congrats on becoming the anti panty dropper. I can’t think of a time your question would cross my mind on a UA-cam comment.
I once drank a shot of whiskey, and then I drank more shots, until I had finished a whole fifth of whiskey in the form of multiple shots. I'm proud of that.
@first last Not to mention the fact that many of the worlds greatest authors were also very heavy drinkers.
Denise McGeachy drank a shot and then did something...
Saw Jim perform last Friday. Was hilarious.
I was a bar back.
He's right.
I will never understand why people thumbs down things that aren't offensive. Jim is one of the few clean comics that still manages to be hilarious
You are gay
@@codrinn9999 That's what your Dad keeps telling me at least.
Because some humans just outright suck as this vod neki tool confirms.
@@codrinn9999
Junior high school jerks are not allowed in the grown-up section.
Holding their phones upside down
Lol i only clicked on this b/c of the title and I am lmao-ing to the point of tears. I’ve never watched Jim gaffigan but I’m gonna change that now lol
That barback bit was pretty gold
Such an underrated comedian! 😭💕
Any other comedian and these stories would be decent. It's the delivery, the dynamic range of voices and sounds. He's like an instrument of insanity played by God's hippy cousin.
JimElford -I so agree and I like your imagery....🙏🏽✨💖✨
That's the most honest depiction of my alcoholism ever.
The only time I consumed shots like that was while my grandmother was in hospice, and though it did end in falling down and other drunken behaviours, turns out my grandma could really party back in the day to the point of needing my granddad to bring her home in a wheelbarrow one Xmas. So it was a fitting sendoff. Love you Grandma.
When my grandmother was at home with end of life care with hospice, she wanted me to make us margaritas. We sat up looking out the picture window drinking them and having a nice talk. Sounds like our grandmas wanted some fun!
"this will cure my normal behavior" laugh because it's funny, cry because it's true lol
The crowded bar bit is so very accurate
Some random dude bought me a shot of jack on my 21st. And then he asked why I was still drinking
He's one of my favorites; ALWAYS good for down-to-earth laugh !!!
Mine 2😎
"Gimme a double shot of tequila." Now them's fightin' words!
I'm going to start buying people jalapeno poppers! We need more jalapeno poppers in the world.
Bless you
Emily Richter i don’t know what it is but I want it now
Sounds tasty, & spicy! 🌶
I miss the smoked brisket jalapeño poppers I used to make.
That is a very good point. Nobody really offers people they don’t know to buy them something nice. For some reason it does only happen when it comes to shots at a bar. Nobody ever sees somebody standing at a bus stop or sidewalk and offers to buy them lunch. And nobody offers to buy strangers a shirt when they’re in a store.
Jim is the best comic in the world. Naturally funny with out filthy talk or more importantly NO POLITICS!!
My mother laughed her ass off yesterday. Thanks Jim for the comedy gold!
“But handing you a beer, not yet”😂😂😂
This guy manages to make you laugh without cussing that's his trademark (and he is not boring)
“I need more juice”
Was a casino bartender for six years and all of this is so truthful
I don't spend time in bars, but I spend a lot of time around toddlers... Spot on!😂🤣
I have a breathing problems when I watch Gaffigan.
and a plural agreement problem
@@lynnturman8157 well says. I would have corrected myself to.
@@heyyou9693 LOL...great reply
Hey You 96 apparently not. You misspelled too.
Thank you for talking, I can now cross that off my bucket list
Bless you
This UA-cam clip will cure my normal behavior…
😎🍻
I'm going to go punch the wall.
I think what truly shows Gaffigan's talent is that I don't know why I'm laughing. These are normal ass jokes that anybody could tell, and if anybody else was telling them, I wouldn't laugh. But there's something about him...
Joe Lettermen It’s all about the tone you talk In and the delivery of the joke.
Jim is a great comedian and performer. One of his phrases, "self-awareness disarms the audience" has stuck with me for so long. It has been golden. Thank you; you are fucking funny while being clever.
I saw him in concert and I laughed so much my face and sides hurt. So so funny. Real life funny!!
A new fan here! What some refreshing talent! Funny all the way through!
Omg the comparison is so on point.. exactly my thoughts when working in "a restaurant" that mostly had drunk customers bitching about their past..I felt I was trapped in kindergarden😂
Hotpockets! I always do a,bad impression of him ! People don't always get it, but he's a gift that keeps on giving, ( for me)!!!!!!
I saw Jim at Caroline's Comedy Club in NYC many years ago. At the time, I didn't know who he was. After seeing Jim's comedy routine that night, I have been a fan ever since and have purchased many of his comedy DVDs. "Hot Pockets."
You know there’re people that enjoy crushing crowds, like packed bars, subways and dance floors, and attend those venues just for that.
Those people are definitely not my kinda people. Weird.
I could see it. I like going to really shitty bars and staying at shitty hotels. Don't know why, but something about a dingy seedy bar just makes me happy. One thing good about a shitty bar is that the bottled domestic beer (read: Miller, Budweiser, or Coors) is always cryogenic-level cold.
On the off chance a pretty girl rubs against your nether regions, crowds can have their upside too.
I always attend subway venues for the crowds... or to get a train.
Let’s get right to the embarrassing part of the night.
The only thing I like about being alive is knowing that fact will eventually end.
hey buddy, you aight?
yarg nad O
That was dark...
"He was standing where I wanted to stayyuund...so I punched him in tha head" 🤣
Uh. That Bartender-attention-part reminded me why I never visit bars anymore.
He does it without being Vulgar as well.....tough feat
Fuck yeah!
@@dezzahayes6492 Why is that? Farage is the only hope for Britain you fool
22fordfx4 you know that’s not actually him don’t you?
@@dezzahayes6492 Ahh no shit. Go live in London with your multiculturalism and crime. Oh wait I'm sure you live in the white part of town. Farage is the only sane politician in the UK that's willing to stop this insanity
Its too bad there aren't evolution arbiters with guns for some of these cunts commenting.
I used to play in a bar band and I've seen all of what he's talking about. I miss playing in a band, but I don't miss the bar scene at all.
Does everybody act like a child? Did the gig pay well?
Me either
He is underrated.
He had a TV show and has done like 7 specials. He’s definitely not underrated.
Saw Jim in Champaign, IL last week...he's so good.
Don't eat popcorn after a night of drinking, hurts a lot to throw it up fyi
A sure comic genius. I could listen to his takes on anything for hours!
Jim is really smart to be uploading his own clips on youtube. Someone is gonna uploads clips any way, and it's a great way to promote the new material.