should we get married?
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- Опубліковано 2 чер 2024
- What role does marriage play in society today? What would happen if it disappeared overnight? What does commitment mean to us? And... would we ever change our surnames for anyone else? In this pensive episode we discuss topics that take us out of our comfort zone and into the realm of speculation. Join us as we figure out our answers to these questions - and as we realise how much more we have to learn on the journey ahead! ❤️
🎙️ Welcome to Milliseconds Apart, a podcast where three friends, separated by thousands of miles in real life but just milliseconds apart over the internet, chat about life, meaning, human connection, and everything else in between.
☘️ The Trio
🐼 Matt: / mattagustin
🐥 Izzy: / izzysealey
🐈⬛ Ruri: / ruriohama
🙊 Audio Only
🍎 Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
🎧 Spotify Podcasts: open.spotify.com/episode/3QcY...
Timestamps:
00:00 hola :)
00:37 hola again :)
01:22 do we want to get married? religion and commitment?
10:23 open relationships, polyamory, and more
16:09 why monogamy?
20:36 is marriage a beneficial structure in society today?
22:14 we know nothing :)
22:24 Matt becomes an oompa loompa :)
23:20 what would we lose without marriage?
27:51 tradition and culture
31:03 we still know nothing :)
31:24 would we change our surnames for marriage?
36:11 core values, subtle preferences and compromise
42:42 reversing traditional expectations
Sub count: 3,103
Ruri: I don't want to get married, it's not for me.
Also Ruri: I want to make a ceremony and invite my friends.
Also Ruri: I don't know 😂
I'm impressed how open you are for each other's thoughts. If it comes to marriage, I resonate with Matt the most
We believe that open, nonjudgmental discussion is the way to better friendships as well as understanding of the world ❤️ We are glad that you are here with us, Misho!
-Matt
ไทยแลน อยู่มี. มีเล็กชันเดอะ🎉
I really enjoyed this whole podcast and your discussion of interesting topics. Thanks for making this.
I love this podcasts! Thanks for constant posting! I want subtitles!!! Please!!
You guys are AMAZING TOGETHER! I first found Izzy's channel when looking for better ways to study. But, I also tune into Ruri's channel, due to an interest in Japan. Had no idea you all know each other! Now, I have subscribed to Matt's channel as well. These podcasts are so much better than cable TV.
All 3 of you have very good perspectives on this topic and they all are valid. I've been there done that and I just see that modern life has
definitely changed the whole dynamics of what a true successful life time relationship should be.
Izzy!... I'm completely mesmerized with your eyes!
I love the camaraderie between you all. Subbed to all of yall. Can't wait to see the growth in 10 years
I just found this podcast, you guys all offer a good variety of insights :D I tend to go with Ruri on this one. I think we have all grown up to think marriage is just another part of tradition that we should strive for, but this is just one more tradition that seems to be falling by the wayside since the spread of the internet. I think many traditions in this world are so strong because of a lack of access to viewpoints outside of the "norm", and I love how to internet has allowed a lot of people to question their commitment to these traditions. Finding your soulmate and living together as one is a great story for some people, but it's not for everyone. I think love can be as specific or abstract as you want it to be, and it really depends on who is interpreting it.
Thanks for sharing all of that, Evan! Really interesting point on traditions being strong because of the lack of viewpoints outside of that community - definitely something I’ll reflect more upon moving forward.
Thanks for being with us here and we sending you tons of love ❤️
-Matt
Gran episodio chicos sigan así me encanta escucharlos ojalá hagan podcast más a menudo, saludos desde México, greetings from México it is a plesaure to listening to an amaizing podcast.
You guys are so funny. I've enjoyed a lot. Thank you for this amazing topic
You guys are awesome! Keep up the GREAT Videos ❤️🔥
Much love much love, and thanks for being with us here ❤️
-Matt
Matts is wisest person and most reasonable . I like the way you answers and argumentation. I agree with all of your opinion
Great Way To Start Off A Day
we want moooooooore episodes
We’ll get back to being consistent 😅🤗 Thanks for being patient with us and we’re sending you tons of love ❤️
@@MillisecondsApart Omg thank you❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥
I appreciate all your open opinions. Personally, I resonate the most with Ruris perspective on this topic.
You all are very nature and bright and colourful beauty!!!
Truly appreciate and love your career path 💖
We’re sending you tons of love Ngawang ❤️
I see eye to eye with Matt when it comes to getting married. Having a sense of commitment to somebody is incredibly important to me 😀
Appreciate you sharing that and for being here with us, Thùy Linh ❤️
-Matt
Very interesting subject!
Nice episode ...want more
I’m not religious and also used to think “marriage is just a paper”, but I now think that is a misunderstanding of the power of symbolic meaning. The act of getting married is a way to communicate devotion in ways that are hard to do in any other way. You are actively shutting the door from exiting the partnership. Sure, you can just tell a partner who want to commit to them, but we should not be so naïve as to downplay the ritual of marriage in solidifying that commitment.
I love you so much guys rsrsrs. Ruri is very funny uhauhahua. I laught a lot with her. Continue your work.
Izee and your Japanese friends and also boy friends, I have heard your conversation about marriage,
So in my opinion when the younger generation is thinking about the marriage they are totally unaware of the situation which is what after the marriage, because there are many reasons as you had discussed like family, culture, father and mother sometimes different areas, nature of the people, education, family background,all these things are consult with our filling for each other,
The most important thing is that love has no condition unconditional love ever lasting in my opinion, because today's marriage not ever lasting after two or three years the results are always in divorce because they are not matched with each other and So many unexpected problems comes after the marriage but those who are atay and steadily in every situation they can Live happy life that's the whole conclusion of the living life.#copy writer,
Yes, because it's a legal and binding contract of life commitment for both parties. It's easier to write the rights and responsibilities of each parties in an agreement rather than just saying it, because you can deny or forget oral agreement easily over time. So making it official will make it easier to maintain the commitment of the relationship in the long run. It protects both parties' rights and their offsprings, especially inheritance and child support responsibility.
and I think adopting your wife's surname in Japan is not that uncommon especially in the wealthy family. Every big Keiretsu/Zaibatsu family do that for their daighter by adopting the future husband as one of their son/family before the marriage.
But if there wasn't, you wouldn't have to go through things like court and having to pay a bunch of fees just to break it off with someone if things didn't work out. I don't think it protects their rights, it binds them like you said. That's why divorce is not fun. It should be simpler. You should be able to leave freely if you no longer want to be with that person or if it didn't work out. Child support is a different story. Marriage to me just represents two becoming one. Shouldn't have to have no legal contracts. All that is needed for me if I get married is a ring. That way if the person I decided to marry wants to leave, they can just take off the ring, plain and simple. And when it comes down to kids, that definitely should be handled legally.
TENGRI BLESSING YOU!✌🇰🇿NEVER STOPING!👍
I have 2 different names as well but I think taking my wife's surname would be interesting.. well to me getting married is just making the relationship legal in someway but I guess it depends on the person I'm with I'll just go with whatever she wants. No need to argue 🙂
I personally find marriage important (because of my religion). But it doesn't have to be a fancy wedding you know, just families/friends coming together and celebrating this moment together. That's it really.
When it comes to Ruri and her short lasting relationships, I think that happens because your 'boyfriend' really isn't a good fit for you. When you find someone who truly understands you and has a good chemistry, relationships will last longer.
I had the same mindset like you where I would get bored easily, untill I found someone who understood me well. Our relationship lasted about a year, but I still had to break up because I got bored.. weird from me to give you advice while I have the same issue as well haha.
Just don't rush when it comes to relationships. Hang out as friends and see where things are going. If it will happen it will, no need to rush things..
I could probably explain it for you with a bit of information
MARRY IS A COMMIMENTS TO YOUR PARTNER AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL BEING A FATHER.
Loved the segment on the surname. Ruri's take on it is something every couple should communicate about and either find a compromise or be firm like Ruri.
With my gf, the talk was pretty simple. With my kids, I want them to have my gf's surname since it's unique imo, especially for a Filipino. Mines is Dela Cruz; which is one of the most generic surnames a Filipino can have.
As for our marriage, I wanna keep my surname just cause it sounds cool to me LMAO even though it's a generic name and my gf will keep hers because it is a rare surname (as far as I'm concerned) and she has 2 other sisters so their surname will die with them if all 3 of them happen to take the husband's surname
If Dela Cruz is common it means that a man with that name was able to have a good family that went on to have many children with that name, mainly boys who likely did well in life. It helps track family lineage
kinda hard to trace if you know the history of the philippines. for all ik, my ancestry could've been native filipinos that were forced to assimilate into spanish culture
@@thrilla72
Thank u for this! When will the next video be uploaded?
It should be this week 🫶🏾
-Matt
Good job 👍
izzy has the voice of an airport announcer
I would seriously want to be part of conversations like that
I have a lot to say and things for which i would want all your views on.
Specially you matt.. is there a way for me talk with you in speech specific way ?
In my culture there's no rule of changing surname. My mom and dad have different surnames.
Like and love is not the same. Getting bored to quickly can get you in travel. Have lot of friends with different interests that will help you. You do not have to be romantic with all of your friends/
Each person must lives up to his or her dreams through his or her own nature.
I enjoy a lot while listening this episode :D thanks
We are so blessed to have you here with us ❤️
-Matt
The discussion is really based on individualism. Human society is not built based on one single idea. One can disagree with society. However, society is made by multiple family communities based on families. One may think society may be built by individuals only; that idea, however, has not been happened in human history.
I understand the bordem part.... It's not just about the person..... It's the stress and responsibility that comes with it...... But, a freind of mine told me I haven't found someone I love.... Well, hmm... Don't know what to say to that......
With all my respect, I think you might just have attachment issues
It's not a matter of "should we get married?" But more so "Do you want to get married?"
Perhaps it is all about how to finding a perfect match
I WANT TO GET MARRIED!
Not getting married
You don't get.
1) To be under his Insurance.
2) raising a kid by your self. ( Hard )
3) not having the influence. ( Best of both worlds)
4) doing the parents stuff by your self
5) less income. Comming in
6) if you get sick ( simple Flu ). Still have to help the kid
7) the Father only. Outing
8). That Father ( voice) might have more weight behind it )
9) being a roll model to other families
10). Kid being picked on because he doesn't have a father. ( Kids can be REALLY MEAN!!!!!! )
I see a value in getting married, but for me, marriage is not an option, maybe in the future (more than 5 years, I'm 27 by the way), same with having children. I think this is because I didn't grow up in a typical family and I'm not religious.
What do you think about the age (or other important factors) to get married? That is, some people get married and have children so young, is that okay with you?
edit: why this video has so few views? It doesn't show up in my feed either.
Joks
without the context of experience things don't seem to make sense 🤔
Hi ruri
Well as far as marriage goes I'm very much a traditionalist I like the traditional Valves. I like the state that I live in Tennessee I'm pretty well-off the laws of the state benefit Me as a man. Prenuptial's agreements are hard for a woman to beat in the state of Tennessee. But ideally I would like to see the laws changed in Tennessee. So that you could have a wedding and not be married by the state and legally call your significant other your wife with no legal repercussions. I don't like the government getting involved in marriage. It's not advantageous for my situation. I would take care of a woman well and I wouldn't cheat on her. And I would make sure she was taking care of for the rest of her life that my children would get the major majority of my money. But as long as she was my wife she would be very well taken care of. To change the subject there's an interesting study women that hang around with their friends that are divorced or 74% more likely to get divorced. This is from the University of I think San Diego could be wrong but it's one of the UC system in California. They say you are the sum of your five closest friends. My best friend is my mom is sad as that sounds but she's extremely moral very traditional minded. My brother is probably my second best friend is very traditional minded very moral far better person than myself. My friend bull is a far better human being than myself. He is very traditional minded also. I'm an extremely strong-willed individual. All my friends in high school were involved in drugs rock cocaine. When they got involved with drugs I abandon ship left all of my friends. I've never used any illegal drugs of my life. I told my grandfather that I wouldn't drink I've had two sips of alcohol so not perfect. But I'm pretty good at keeping my word. I do believe in God I have a very primitive mind. A lot of people that don't believe in God always cite the great evil and suffering in society is one of the reasons why they don't believe in God.. I'm a very simpleminded person if there was an evil and suffering as terrible as it is there would be no good in there would be no reference point for good everything would be boring it would just be existing as silly as that sounds every day would just be another day there be nothing to look forward to everything would be perfect you have no respect for life. I did not very articulate and didn't articulate that very well and I apologize for the quality of my writing. When you see suffering and evil you have great appreciation for life.Well I am functionally illiterate so again I apologize for the quality my writing. I'll tell you I look up to as far as marriage goes Mark Zuckerberg. Mark Zuckerberg seems to be extremely loyal to his wife and I don't think he cheats on his wife and he has immense opportunities to do so. Mark Zuckerberg prays with his children. Mark Zuckerberg's wife Priscilla is extremely classy very ladylike and extremely decent human being. Mark Zuckerberg's wife actually seems to love him genuinely. Mark Zuckerberg wasn't worse billions of dollars she would probably still love him. Most people would not be that fortunate.Well I could rewrite all of this and make it much better I can assure you that it would take a lot of time.. Well I'm a very simpleminded personI fear hell so I try to do the right thing.. I'm certainly not perfect. I'm a Neanderthal at best. I'm sure if you read this you'll lose all respect for me.An interesting fact atheist or 30% more likely to get divorced. People that pray every day live an average of 6.7 years longer than people that don't.Women with very high IQs are more likely to file for divorce especially after having a child..Women that have slept with more than five men statistically more likely to be unhappy in marriage.Women with college degrees statistically are more likely to file for divorce 80 to 90% of the time .Younger women marry older men are more likely to file for divorce.That's my two cents
Amazing Podcast. Greetings from México
Izzy is 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰.
I wish, dream I could marry Izzy 😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Question for all of you: At what age / age-range do you expect to be married?
I’m hoping for my late 20’s
@@jordibernal3488 Same... late twenties but would be cool to meet someone in her earlier twenties but still have enough maturity.
@@lecryptojames Agreed. In fact I’m actually starting to like older woman a bit older than me because many younger women I’ve dated have just given me a headache. The older ones generally are more open to reason and compromise than trying to get their way all the time.
35ish not earlier than that-Ruri
@@MillisecondsApart why? but be careful since it's more dangerous for women to be pregnant and give birth after certain age.
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Hi everyone😅
🤣🤣🤣🤣👏
must need to know about my question which i asked you above please tell me honestly. I wanna to know about your boyfriend and how Long with him and how much closer?
I found my dream girl how’s my wife cherlong from itzy Kpop
Just in time to combat post-Valentine's day blues for single people. :|
You can join the single crowd with 2 out of the 3 of us, James 🤗😏
-Matt
Llo leo nuestro labio i lohojo.
Why marriage? Answers:
1) Religious - It's a blessing from God that a man and a woman become one flesh, and a further blessing that they be fruitful and multiply.
2) Non-religious - Society, culture, government, and civilisation is built on the foundation of the family unit. The historically best form of a family unit is within a marriage framework.
- So we see the breakdown of the family unit in the west through increase evil such as growing up without one's father (the majority of inmates and criminals come from this background) and the phenomena of wokeness that even attack classical Liberals.
Very well said
How is it even possible to be legally together without being married? Strange statements made here.
didn't know double surname was also called double barrel haha
polyamory relationships will never be enough, you always want more.
This Podcast kinda reflects our society. Men are getting more and more feminine while women are getting more and more masculine
Matt is much more traditional on his approach about marriage. He has his values and feels strongly about it. THe girls though, have much more of a modern way of thinking regarding marriage, whether you’ve learned it from your parents or have developed your own ideas about it. To each person though, it all comes down to your personal attitudes towards it(marriage). Some are culturally based and some are religion influenced. Your video should’ve been more about your personal attitudes about it, not what you know about it. There is no science behind marriage, just like there’s no science behind love. It’s just a natural phenomenon that occurs when two people are in love with each other. That’s all you should remind yourselves. When there’s no love, it becomes a contract. Meaningless. If you want to get married, fall in love first.
Why does she always say she's at Cambridge?
Just wondering if there's a reason.
It's a special place for her as she was living and studying there for 7 years, she's now in London working full-time as a medic in the NHS.
Every generation tries to reinvent the wheel.
enough
Merakonofeks
No
maybe You know about my nature
Waiting for my Answer honestly without any lie
If you think that can't go longer with you then let me go now bye
yeah that's true I said correctly
I have to go now bye thanks to all of you
I want to see middle lady always single.
I would like to marry with the girl in the middle 😍
NEVER get married, there's no reason for it really.
It depends on how selfish you are. And i don't say it in a condescending way. Some people can't live only for themselves. I personally think family is the core of society and without it no society can survive. So if you care about what happens after you die that is also a factor. But also imagine when you will be old, who will take care of you?
@@TheMelopeus i don't disagree, I already have a Son who has been living w me for 10 years, so I've got that covered, he's just finished his IT degree, when he Marry's ill give him this large house and ill love in my condo and wait on my grandchildren hand and foot ;) and that is good enough when im this busy, and I am getting a PhD and running my clinic and .my Army retirement so the nest egg well be huge Insha Allah , which of course will be given to my Son for his family,... as for being taken care of I'm an old Soldier it's better I just I die suddenly so that I do not burden my children..insha Allah, hopefully at work so they don't have to witness it, I coddle my babies they don't have to see death as I have too many tines.
@@TheMelopeus Also, hookups r easy, no drama, no time, no cost,..and new models all the time..for a Man, thats ideal.
@@TheMelopeus if you are planning to have kids with the thought of "who will take care of me when I am old" then get your values straight man.......
Agreed, men should avoid it at all costs
Cohabitation is as dangerous and shoul be avoided as well
I really wanna married one day but I’m a lesbian who live in Iran 🤫 we can't even exist in society
Then move to another country where gay marriage is legal
I hope you’re staying safe right now. Respect to the women of Iran fighting for justice right now. ✊
That's good you shouldn't be a lesbian
That's haram
May Allah guide you amin. Follow Allah and not your desires. Praying for u sister
I think most people are meant to be married, while the rest are not meant to be married so staying single is best for them. In Canada, 4% of relationships are polyamorous while 96% are monogamous.
If most people want a relationship to last, then polyamorous is much worse than monogamous marriage. In the USA, polyamorous relationships last about eight years, while monogamous marriages last 20 years.
Polyamorous fail/divource rate is 92%!
Marriages fail/divorce rate is 41%
Merakoadeyabavnfokucro
Click bait. Talk to them just because there eye candy 🍭🍭🍭🍭😂😂😂😂🍭🍭
Matt u be talking to much lol let Izzy and ruri talk it out
🙃
-Matt
Love you Matt 😂
❤️❤️❤️
-Matt
I am desperate for attention
Orange is fake friend
You guys are just too young and do not see all that it means getting married. As you mature in your life you may be able to understand
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