Oh boy. I watched like 10 videos of him and so far every single one has been extremely informative and entertaining at the same time. Man, this channel is a goldmine.
Exactly. Whenever i try to do something, my ego would always hijack my mind and affect my judgement. Like it sucks, i once thought that the world revolves around me and my opinion actually matter but guess what, i ain't worth shit. Sometime, words of discouragement works better for me to tone down my ego and come back to my sense. Cuz i'm a very self-aware person and that works for me, idk about others
Damn this guy helped me realize i am pretty freakin egotistical, even tho i dont act like the normal word of ego, i act like i have no ego so that people will like me, man i have shit to change
@@stupidthingthissucks sounds like he wants to act enlightened and a good person, so people will like him and think of him well. At least that's what I interpreted. And I have pretty similar thoughts.
Be sure to forgive yourself before trying to change anything... "Approval" or "disapproval" both strengthen ego in much the same way. To ego, it doesn't matter if you're good or bad, liked or disliked, what matters is that you're here and you are what your own tale of yourself would have you be. It is a great thing that you realized this though! Cheers to that!
Didn’t you learn from his lecture?? He hasn’t changed at all because of his viewership, the only thing that has changed is the number of viewers he gets.
Ego is a protective mechanism Ego is all future oriented. To reduce ego, good exercise is to be in the present. To increase confidence, good exercise is to just do things away from judgement (spending time in nature is a good one)
I found it fascinating when he talked about the ego of twitch viewer count "I have to be careful, right now I have 45 viewers" knowing where Healthy Gamer has reached nowadays.
crazy to hear dr. k talk about having 45 viewers and seeing the chat move so slow compared to him being one of the biggest streamers on twitch in 6 months. the power of psychology and aoe healing
One of my favorite things since watching this years ago is the study where they put cameras on monkeys that live on top of a mountain. They were on a peak and when the sun rose, all the monkeys stopped their grooming, their foraging, everything they were doing to stop and stare at the sunrise. Like 9 monkeys on camera all did so. And the researchers watching the livestream also did the same, and then after a few moments of shared experience, realized they all did the exact same thing together. In that moment, monkeys and humans were one. It was an entirely shared experience of value. There were no individuals or species in that moment, just the miraculous daily moment.
Man, I've found so much of this out through traumatic events throughout my life and reflecting on them...typically the level of these introspective thoughts only arise in the healing that happens post-trauma. People should really take everything he is saying to heart. These lessons can help skip a lot of pain and give you tools that are applicable in every facet of your life.
The best thing that I got from that video was that you've started with 45 viewers. It made me realize that I may be able to achieve something in my life one day. It's funny as since I had found your channel I've never thought "damn, that dude had to start somewhere". I was just thinking you were always popular. Thanks for staying with us all that time, you are really doing what you like and as other comment said, you haven't changed, only the quality went up.
If u find this helpful it might be a good idea to watch this again a couple months later, some things aren't fully comprehensible at a first look, even when it seem to be clear u may need experiences to reinforce those ideas and actually believe them. Just an advice. Love the content it is very helpful
I can't shit. Because I ate too much or something, or it's maybe my IBS. Right now I'm just a dude watching a video. Nothing else I think. Or... (Ego steps in)
Excellent content man. I think that every gamer/streamer/person should hear you out. In my opinion, Ego is good only if it's covered. A friend of mine through he is the greatest and smartest, until he start realizing how much is he actually missing from the picture. He is a lot more humble now... You have to let ego go at certain point, unless you want to go crazy.
The dr.k's channel like gold+diamond mine I watched over 100 videos of him and it completely changed my life.❤ Imagine what coaching program of him is going to do with me😄 One day👌when i made money and practiced english a lot to have real conversation, i will speak to him personally. For mostly appreciation❤️🔥⚡thank you dr.k
Two thoughts. 7:09 btw. First finishing up some thoughts - K’s thoughts in the world of your room is so hopeful and ego boosting (maybe in a good way) because he didn’t go to uni immediately and hit the ground sprinting, he waited 8 years improving himself and then achieved great societally valued success. It’s hope to do the same, a return to the ego and the self-image of intelligence and the future thoughts of life that go with it. That leeway’s into thinking about the ego more broadly, from the ice cream shop. And what to do with that. Also, in imagining talking with a therapist about an important concept, you can understand that there would be discomfort in an idea for several reasons, and you could think of all sorts of reasons and rationalisation for why the ideas cause discomfort. But I think a main one is not being able to know how to think about an issue. Not knowing HOW to think. An example is imagining being on Twitter; your brain can so quickly calculate the surface level ‘right [opposing] move’, the system of logic and the values are made so clear. But the automatic right move implicitly and tacitly has to accept these assumptions and premises. You so quickly accept premises. Standing back from this, if, a year later someone writes the authoritative book on the matter, and writes it well, then ‘know’ how to think. You could be getting the feeling that you don’t know how to think. Also back to that Athene video, that perception of ego (as a cv) orientates what you want to do in life, and so now it makes sense, DESPITE the existentialist questioning, to question your ego.
I think one should make a distinction in the case of refuting positive reinforcement because context also matters. Say i told someone that i'm insecure about the way i look and he starts complimenting me afterwards. That's certainly not going to help because you're going to question his motives thinking he lies out of compassion. Things change if compliments come without the person having previous knowledge about your struggles. That's not to say that an insecure person isn't going to focus on negative remarks more then he does on positive ones. That's probably generally true.
When I compare old doctor k style to new doctor k style. I think they're both helpful in different ways. I think it would be helpful if this style returned occasionally. Because it covers a wide range of issues.
My ego problem is now regarding dating apps. If I dont have a bunch of people like me (even if I dont like them) I feel like im an ugly person, even despite the fact Im literally only looking for ONE person. Its made it incredibly hard for me to do online dating for that reason because I start having a rollercoaster of an experience. "Im so hideous nobody wants to date me" or "OMG THIS PERSON LIKED ME OMG IM NOW MORE VALUED"
Doing things that you are afraid of is also a very good thing becoming confident. Confident is essentially trusting yourself. If you think about it, only selfdoubt and anxiety is keeping from beeing confident. I mean if you are a person who isnt very confident, then you will often have very doubtfull thoughts... The best thing that you can do is to weaken those thoughts. Try to memorize as many bad/negative thoughts you may have and write them down. Then you ask yourself these questions to each negative thought that you have written down: What is so absurd about this belief/attitude? What disadvantages will I have physically/emotionally/spiritually if I hold on to this belief/attitude? What advantages do I have if I free myself from my disturbing belief pattern/attitude? How does it feel when I imagine that I have already freed myself from this disturbing feeling? Try to answer them as best as you can and then go act and do the stuff that you were most afraid of. When you start answering these Question honestly you will cripple your selfdoubt and anxiety, then it becomes way easier to do the things that you are afraid of. And after that you will be rewarded with great Confidence and inner peace. Believe me i did them a long time ago and still do it everytime i sense a negative thought in myself. Now, iam so confident that i literally do NOT care what other people who don't know me very well think of me. And iam someone who had a realy bad case of social phobia and depression. I also came to a point in my life where i wanted to end it, but thats a very long time now and i came so far on my journey that iam so thankful for every minute on this planet. Just try it guys everything is possible, believing is key. 😎😎👌👌
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:29 🧘 *Ego, in Sanskrit known as "Ahamkar," is the false self, often tied to external roles like job, nationality, or relationships.* 02:51 🤔 *Humkar activates as a protective mechanism when facing rejection or negative emotions. It distorts perceptions, creating a false narrative to shield from shame or discomfort.* 07:08 🌅 *Living in the present is a way to move away from ego. Activities like watching a sunset or even a simple act like taking a dump can help detach from external identities.* 10:34 💼 *Building identity solely around external factors, like a job or external validation, can lead to crises when those external factors change or are threatened.* 13:48 📹 *For streamers, the challenge is to create content without letting the number of viewers define their worth. Developing a healthy identity beyond external validation is crucial.* 16:57 🔄 *Rejection sensitivity dysphoria, though not explicitly defined clinically here, is discussed as a phenomenon where low self-confidence can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy of negative interactions.* 19:13 🔄 *Low self-confidence may lead to a negative cognitive bias, where positive feedback is discounted, reinforcing a lack of confidence. Addressing this bias is crucial for building self-esteem.* 19:27 🔄 *Rejection Sensitivity Syndrome is not about actual rejection, but the belief that only rejection is appropriate. Building confidence in oneself is crucial to overcome it.* 20:39 🤔 *If you feel confident but handle compliments and insults the same way, it indicates a lack of true confidence. Confidence is multi-dimensional and should be unbiased in receiving feedback.* 22:30 🤷 *Body dysmorphia, especially in bodybuilders, can be challenging to treat. The distinction between ego-syntonic and ego-dystonic behaviors is essential in understanding psychological issues.* 26:30 🚫 *Calling something "easy" in the context of building confidence is devaluing and implies incompetence. Confidence is not easy, and labeling it as such overlooks the individual's struggle and challenges.* 28:16 🔄 *Self-destructive behaviors can be ego-syntonic, where individuals believe they are doing the right thing even though they are harming themselves. Recognizing self-destructive patterns requires self-reflection.* 31:24 🌳 *Building confidence involves challenging oneself in ways where external judgments are irrelevant. Spending time in nature, engaging in activities without societal expectations, can contribute positively to confidence development.* Made with HARPA AI
That's feel so right. I don't feel bad but because I sacrificed my life for my mom. I feel like I have no value to be loved and don't find it valuable to cultivate relationships.
Just some questions for you: What is the relationship between high emotional intelligence and confidence? Or high emotional intelligence and ego? Could the development of extremely high emotional intelligence lead to a natural kind of confidence that isn't egoic?
good question. I personally think that yes a high emotional intelligence can lead to a form of confidence but it can, and usually will, lead to a becoming very self concious > lack of confidence.
I'd like to figure out who I am ASAP 23 now. I want the rest of my life to be healthy and happy, and spread both of those out to as many people as I can.
So being a man taking a dump is something no one can take from me eh? So be it. I am hereby Lord Deficus, taker of mountain dumps, and he who sits upon the Iron Toilet.
Hi Dr. K. Thank you for all the help and guidance you provide to people, but i have a question. Context to the question: You talked about living in the present, don't think about the future, dont think about the past. I understand this, focusing on the past leads to regrets, remembering the painful moments and often overall sadness, in terms of future, you are thinking about what it is you need to achieve, that you didnt achieve, what it is you should do but dont feel like doing now and you beat yourself about not doing it and how it is going to hurt your future and so the way to be happy should be, to focus on the present. I was wondering though, the example about the streamer you said is she was enjoying streaming, then stopped enjoying it (probably because of the dopamin reward system adaptation right?) but she stayed streaming because of ego and the overall social role and identity she created around it even thought she did no longer like it. Actual question (or rather questions): So in this situation, in your opinion, what should she do? stop streaming and focus on something else that makes her happy? You said watch the sunset, do something that makes you happy. But what if everything that makes you happy does not provide income for you? How are you going to live? Or what should you do in a situation in which basically producing stuff (creating value) is not enjoyable for you, only consuming stuff does? For me personally, i know just-about what i want in life, but i dislike any vehicle of how to get there and therefore seem to be stuck in a same place.
This is so helpful. Thank you again Dr. K, I'm finding so many parts of the equation to understanding myself through your videos, group coaching and your Guide
Ego = the way others perceive you. Best common denominator so far that encompasses what you talk about. Or realisitically at least the way you care and imagine what others think of you. Mantra : "I don't give a damn what others think".
something i found that makes me able not to react out of ego is simply taking a few seconds to focus on my breathing. i guess that puts you in direct contact with yourself instead of an idea of who you are.
But how to get confidence in dating, because you can't date without someone judging you. The only way is to start without thinking but like that's the first time you date you're gonna be horrible and your confidence will decrease even more. So how to get confident in the domains where people judge you?
Confidence is about acting in the face of uncertainty because you believe that you can manage what comes. This is what Dr.K said recently. So when dating, you should be aware that it could go right or wrong. You will probably get judged anyway, but it is how you manage that judgment. If you think by yourself: even if I mess up this date, it will be a big step to improve myself socially and improve my ability to face judgment; you don't have to stress as much and I think it will become easier to become confident. Also detaching yourself from results and instead aim for living and having fun in the now could help.
Rejection sensitivity syndrome - That sounds familiar. I guess I have it on some level. It spoils my game time, and I'm basically dropping off my controller and keyboard. I still am not saying that gaming is the problem here, but it's over other parts of my life. I have no friends, and social culture here is bs, so try to do anything without alcohol... I'm confident with executing plans and going along, but not really being in front and first. I can't start conversations really, at least couldn't in school, but I've always known that adult people follow some basic rules in conversations, and uphold basic levels of respect for others as part of the egoistic mask, for whatever reason. If they see me really worthless or not worth of the time, they wouldn't do even that. Usually I would see the points that would either point at either them being in hurry, or that they think they are big and buff. I would like to find that confidence to stand before those people who carry inflated egos. It has always been something I've never understood, and something I've been somewhat scared of. I feel bit nasty for thinking about playing around with the size of my own ego, but that shouldn't matter right? I was like seven or eight when I first time faced someone that had built up some sort of ego for themselves, who was same age, and they used it to just insult me, and to just reinforce their own ego. I was ok with the insult, but I didn't understand why would someone do something like that to someone just to inflate their ego and started crying. I have some level of dysmorphia, and I feel either fat, or something that has never changed, and my body has changed its size multiple times. Im not so worried about my body, but I can't really think it's any different. What I think it is that it is fat or lower mid.
11:53 is it possible to not develop this part of the brain? I as a child accepted that no one will ever like me and that is it actually their problem and that I dont really care. Had some amazing friends since then and still do. I just feel like I dont really care what they think of me, so sometimes I do some stupid shit and they are like: "you are such an idiot" but in a good way and they still like me. This not caring what people think of me, gives me so much freedom to express myself
So if you receive a compliment, but it's a compliment that you think isn't deserved because you think you can do better,is that from a lack of confidence?
Just adding that picture on thumbanil could be different this is red guy called Stańczyk is in painting of Prussian Homage in 16 century what he is doing as Painter intended His worried face shows doubt that the homage will mean victory in the long run, and he is making a gesture to repel bad luck. Cause in future this country that was doing homage is one of the countries taking apart Poland and ending it's independence.
11:30 Can we say that our identity is defined by our current actions i.e. thing that you're doing right now, at the moment? And if that is the case, then, can we also say that two or more humans doing same things within a definite time frame, given they are at the same place, are no different whatsoever?
i have the same question because i see a lot of people be like "drop your ego" so is that actually what people should do? and if it is how do i just drop my ego?
As someone who has quite a lot of insight into spirutuality and enlightenment, i can tell you that the more your ego diminishes the better literally everything in your life becomes and the amount of doubt you have decreases. To have completely transcended one's ego is to live completely free of doubt and as a result of that you will be extremely confident, in a good way. If you manage to raise your vibration/consciousness to a certain point, everything in your perception will merge into a state of oneness. You will see and feel with extreme clarity that everything in this society, world and universe is intimately connected with everything else and that no real separation has ever existed on an existential level. You will have a deeper intuitive feeling connection with literally every single thing in life, a sense of porpuse, profundity and grace that is far beyond and far greater then anything you can possibly imagine right now. To try and give you a picture of what it is like, imagine the best and most profound dream you ever had, if you can remember that. When you woke up all you wanted to do was to go back to the dream and you probably tried to but failed. Living in the spiritually enligthened state is kind of like living in that dream but much, much better.
I've been trying to find a concise definition/explanation of ego for a long time. Here's what I've pieced together in that time. Just my understanding/interpretation/opinion here. I don't mean to imply or say anyone else is incorrect. Ego is any labels, judgement or ideas we have of who or what we are that isn't factual. They can form in your mind as a response to any stimulus. Maybe emotion too, I'm not sure about that. We can't control our emotions but a lot, if not all of them come from our labels, judgement and ideas of everything. Our true self would be what's left after we strip all of that away. If we're talking physical, that would be our physical body. Skin, muscle, fat, blood, organs, brain, electrical impulses, hormones and so on... If we're talking about the mind, I struggle with that more. I'm not sure there's something in our mind that isn't ego, the true self. I think, if anything, true self may be the observer of the thoughts and sensory input, consciousness and perception. Maybe there's something more but I don't know. Examples: Ego says, "I'm good because I gave that homeless person money." Reality says, "I gave that person money." Ego, "I'm stupid because I failed the exam" Reality, "I failed the exam." Ego, "I'm bad or evil because I don't feel guilty after accidentally running over my neighbor's pet." Reality, "I accidentally ran over my neighbor's pet." Ego, "I'm successful because I reached my education/career/income/exercise goals." Reality, "I set goals and reached them." Ego, "I'm a teacher, athlete, gamer, artist, criminal etc..." Reality, "I'm a human that shares information with other humans," "I do whatever sport," "I play video games," "I sculpt, paint, weld, sing, play piano, etc..." "I broke whatever law," Ego, "I'm ugly or beautiful." Reality, "Art, aesthetics and beauty are subjective. I am a human." Ego, "I'm American, African, Asian, European, German, Australian, Russian, Chinese, English, etc...." Reality, "I was born somewhere on Earth." These are all just actions. No judgement or constructs. If you accept my interpretation, then ego isn't good or bad, right or wrong. It becomes more of a tool, kind of like a user interface between the true self and the rest of the world. If our brain is a very complex, biological computer, then it's being programmed all of our lives. By external influences and internal interpretations. The result of that programming would be the ego in this case. Maybe it can be reprogrammed in some ways? So, one of my goals for life is to learn and try to understand ego as much as I possibly can. Then use that information to try to identify when my ego is taking control and potentially harming myself or others around me. Not just physical harm but psychological/emotional harm as well. I definitely don't always catch it, if even most of the time. I'm far from enlightenment hahah. But it has helped me drastically when it comes to identifying the roots of where my emotions are coming from and in developing and maintaining my relationships with family, friends and other people in general. Maybe confidence in communication comes from knowing that you definitely have accurate information when it comes to sharing information/teaching. Maybe self-confidence comes from self-acceptance.
Is the ego also the person to make us lazy when it comes to exercise? We should move and exercise to stay alive. And yet some of the smartest people I know, refuse to do it and get fat and sick.
Don't we need ego though... I don't want to be just a person taking a dump so to speak. I want to be motivated to develop more identity. Forming more of a concept of "who I am"...my personal "identity" is what fills me (ego) but also what *motivates me.... So how do I divorce from ego when it's literally the fuel for life? Anyone relate or can someone give me insight on how to not have ego and have genuine personal motivation?
Oh boy. I watched like 10 videos of him and so far every single one has been extremely informative and entertaining at the same time. Man, this channel is a goldmine.
Haha ive been binging his videos for like 8 hours now. Agreed.
Hell yea
true
Yeah same love this guy, would love to have a one on one conversation with him about my problems.
Indeed
When he talks I swear to God I feel like all my failures are completely okay and life is gonna be alright.
Thats how it has to feel before you improve yourself over time.
I know right? It's amazing. He passively heals
That’s because that’s true, love this guy
you're not your failures, you're not anything lol, aint that freeing
Because something inside you realizes there are no "failures".
"I'm not any better or worse than anyone else." This is such a critical and difficult thing for people learn.
Exactly. Whenever i try to do something, my ego would always hijack my mind and affect my judgement. Like it sucks, i once thought that the world revolves around me and my opinion actually matter but guess what, i ain't worth shit. Sometime, words of discouragement works better for me to tone down my ego and come back to my sense. Cuz i'm a very self-aware person and that works for me, idk about others
but some people have an opinion, which has more value for the upcoming challenge than others. Some are leaders
@@Lasar93 you van literally leanr how to be a good leader . Thats not even the point
In what?
So are you better or worse than a terrorist
"But if all I am is a dude who's taking a dump, no one can take that away from me."
Just an amazing quote.
oh man i laughed so hard
Unless you're constipated
Bacon penguin 😂
But they can add things to that, no?
@@aleksssss Bacon Penguin 😂
Damn this guy helped me realize i am pretty freakin egotistical, even tho i dont act like the normal word of ego, i act like i have no ego so that people will like me, man i have shit to change
how are you egotistical? (if you don't mind elaborating)
@@stupidthingthissucks sounds like he wants to act enlightened and a good person, so people will like him and think of him well. At least that's what I interpreted. And I have pretty similar thoughts.
Well, to act is some egotistical cuz you want to protect your image.
Sometimes to help people is more about validating your own behaviour then actually helping another.
This is ego too
Be sure to forgive yourself before trying to change anything... "Approval" or "disapproval" both strengthen ego in much the same way. To ego, it doesn't matter if you're good or bad, liked or disliked, what matters is that you're here and you are what your own tale of yourself would have you be. It is a great thing that you realized this though! Cheers to that!
He had 45 viewers. How much he has grown, haha.
Lol it’s crazy! So happy the twitch community has someone like this to help them.
The best part is how much he changed.....
He didn't
Didn’t you learn from his lecture?? He hasn’t changed at all because of his viewership, the only thing that has changed is the number of viewers he gets.
haha
I was one of the first. Found him and told destiny to talk to him. Doubt it was me that made him do it, but I suppose it may have pushed them closer.
Ego is a protective mechanism
Ego is all future oriented.
To reduce ego, good exercise is to be in the present.
To increase confidence, good exercise is to just do things away from judgement (spending time in nature is a good one)
I found it fascinating when he talked about the ego of twitch viewer count "I have to be careful, right now I have 45 viewers" knowing where Healthy Gamer has reached nowadays.
this is genuinely the channel that has had the biggest impact on me since i started watching youtube a decade ago
Word.
crazy to hear dr. k talk about having 45 viewers and seeing the chat move so slow compared to him being one of the biggest streamers on twitch in 6 months. the power of psychology and aoe healing
One of my favorite things since watching this years ago is the study where they put cameras on monkeys that live on top of a mountain. They were on a peak and when the sun rose, all the monkeys stopped their grooming, their foraging, everything they were doing to stop and stare at the sunrise. Like 9 monkeys on camera all did so. And the researchers watching the livestream also did the same, and then after a few moments of shared experience, realized they all did the exact same thing together.
In that moment, monkeys and humans were one. It was an entirely shared experience of value. There were no individuals or species in that moment, just the miraculous daily moment.
Best Dr. K quote yet:
"Ask yourself, who you are when your taking a dump. Do you have a net worth when your taking a dump?"
I mean yeah. I don't really get that one.
Literally on the toilet when I clicked this video lol
Man, I've found so much of this out through traumatic events throughout my life and reflecting on them...typically the level of these introspective thoughts only arise in the healing that happens post-trauma. People should really take everything he is saying to heart. These lessons can help skip a lot of pain and give you tools that are applicable in every facet of your life.
discovered you after watching the video with Reckful. Great stuff, youre helping a lot of people
like the human form of lsd
@@ieatpizza66 nah homie, LSD is the chemical form of meditation.
R.I.P. Reckful
I wish the good doctor helped Reckful alive his suicidal tendencies.
@@SallionMang Huge brain statement there
The best thing that I got from that video was that you've started with 45 viewers. It made me realize that I may be able to achieve something in my life one day. It's funny as since I had found your channel I've never thought "damn, that dude had to start somewhere". I was just thinking you were always popular. Thanks for staying with us all that time, you are really doing what you like and as other comment said, you haven't changed, only the quality went up.
Calling someone talented is probably just as devaluing as calling something easy
"When I am taking a dump, I am no different from anyone else." Doctor K - 2019
If u find this helpful it might be a good idea to watch this again a couple months later, some things aren't fully comprehensible at a first look, even when it seem to be clear u may need experiences to reinforce those ideas and actually believe them. Just an advice. Love the content it is very helpful
Meditation is the absolute best way to see your ego for what it is though.
That's good advice
The reason why I write my own summaries of philosophy.
Every generation needs a leader and teacher, I see you as that and more. Others and I are truly grateful for what you do.
i'm just a guy.... watching this on my phone.....while sitting on a toilet....taking a dump.......feels good.....in more than one way!
:)
Same here bro
Not all heroes wear capes. Some sit on the toilet taking a dump.
Long dump
I can't shit. Because I ate too much or something, or it's maybe my IBS. Right now I'm just a dude watching a video. Nothing else I think. Or... (Ego steps in)
Wish I found out about you sooner, thank you for doing what you do Alok!
Excellent content man. I think that every gamer/streamer/person should hear you out.
In my opinion, Ego is good only if it's covered.
A friend of mine through he is the greatest and smartest, until he start realizing how much is he actually missing from the picture.
He is a lot more humble now... You have to let ego go at certain point, unless you want to go crazy.
Definetly my new favourite channel!
I had the wrong understanding of ego and 'living in the moment'. thank you.
The dr.k's channel like gold+diamond mine
I watched over 100 videos of him and it completely changed my life.❤
Imagine what coaching program of him is going to do with me😄
One day👌when i made money and practiced english a lot to have real conversation, i will speak to him personally.
For mostly appreciation❤️🔥⚡thank you dr.k
Two thoughts. 7:09 btw. First finishing up some thoughts - K’s thoughts in the world of your room is so hopeful and ego boosting (maybe in a good way) because he didn’t go to uni immediately and hit the ground sprinting, he waited 8 years improving himself and then achieved great societally valued success. It’s hope to do the same, a return to the ego and the self-image of intelligence and the future thoughts of life that go with it.
That leeway’s into thinking about the ego more broadly, from the ice cream shop. And what to do with that.
Also, in imagining talking with a therapist about an important concept, you can understand that there would be discomfort in an idea for several reasons, and you could think of all sorts of reasons and rationalisation for why the ideas cause discomfort. But I think a main one is not being able to know how to think about an issue. Not knowing HOW to think. An example is imagining being on Twitter; your brain can so quickly calculate the surface level ‘right [opposing] move’, the system of logic and the values are made so clear. But the automatic right move implicitly and tacitly has to accept these assumptions and premises. You so quickly accept premises. Standing back from this, if, a year later someone writes the authoritative book on the matter, and writes it well, then ‘know’ how to think. You could be getting the feeling that you don’t know how to think.
Also back to that Athene video, that perception of ego (as a cv) orientates what you want to do in life, and so now it makes sense, DESPITE the existentialist questioning, to question your ego.
"I am a dude who just takes a dump" is now my favourite quote
I think one should make a distinction in the case of refuting positive reinforcement because context also matters. Say i told someone that i'm insecure about the way i look and he starts complimenting me afterwards. That's certainly not going to help because you're going to question his motives thinking he lies out of compassion. Things change if compliments come without the person having previous knowledge about your struggles. That's not to say that an insecure person isn't going to focus on negative remarks more then he does on positive ones. That's probably generally true.
The CEO he's talking about has to be Papa John
When I compare old doctor k style to new doctor k style. I think they're both helpful in different ways.
I think it would be helpful if this style returned occasionally. Because it covers a wide range of issues.
My ego problem is now regarding dating apps. If I dont have a bunch of people like me (even if I dont like them) I feel like im an ugly person, even despite the fact Im literally only looking for ONE person. Its made it incredibly hard for me to do online dating for that reason because I start having a rollercoaster of an experience. "Im so hideous nobody wants to date me" or "OMG THIS PERSON LIKED ME OMG IM NOW MORE VALUED"
19:15 "You think I'm a fuckup? I can get behind that." The way he delivered that had me cracking up😂
Doing things that you are afraid of is also a very good thing becoming confident. Confident is essentially trusting yourself. If you think about it, only selfdoubt and anxiety is keeping from beeing confident. I mean if you are a person who isnt very confident, then you will often have very doubtfull thoughts... The best thing that you can do is to weaken those thoughts. Try to memorize as many bad/negative thoughts you may have and write them down. Then you ask yourself these questions to each negative thought that you have written down:
What is so absurd about this belief/attitude?
What disadvantages will I have physically/emotionally/spiritually if I hold on to this belief/attitude?
What advantages do I have if I free myself from my disturbing belief pattern/attitude?
How does it feel when I imagine that I have already freed myself from this disturbing feeling?
Try to answer them as best as you can and then go act and do the stuff that you were most afraid of.
When you start answering these Question honestly you will cripple your selfdoubt and anxiety, then it becomes way easier to do the things that you are afraid of.
And after that you will be rewarded with great Confidence and inner peace. Believe me i did them a long time ago and still do it everytime i sense a negative thought in myself. Now, iam so confident that i literally do NOT care what other people who don't know me very well think of me.
And iam someone who had a realy bad case of social phobia and depression. I also came to a point in my life where i wanted to end it, but thats a very long time now and i came so far on my journey that iam so thankful for every minute on this planet. Just try it guys everything is possible, believing is key. 😎😎👌👌
I really enjoy and find it helpful to tell myself things are easy, but yea, I HATE other people telling me that!
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:29 🧘 *Ego, in Sanskrit known as "Ahamkar," is the false self, often tied to external roles like job, nationality, or relationships.*
02:51 🤔 *Humkar activates as a protective mechanism when facing rejection or negative emotions. It distorts perceptions, creating a false narrative to shield from shame or discomfort.*
07:08 🌅 *Living in the present is a way to move away from ego. Activities like watching a sunset or even a simple act like taking a dump can help detach from external identities.*
10:34 💼 *Building identity solely around external factors, like a job or external validation, can lead to crises when those external factors change or are threatened.*
13:48 📹 *For streamers, the challenge is to create content without letting the number of viewers define their worth. Developing a healthy identity beyond external validation is crucial.*
16:57 🔄 *Rejection sensitivity dysphoria, though not explicitly defined clinically here, is discussed as a phenomenon where low self-confidence can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy of negative interactions.*
19:13 🔄 *Low self-confidence may lead to a negative cognitive bias, where positive feedback is discounted, reinforcing a lack of confidence. Addressing this bias is crucial for building self-esteem.*
19:27 🔄 *Rejection Sensitivity Syndrome is not about actual rejection, but the belief that only rejection is appropriate. Building confidence in oneself is crucial to overcome it.*
20:39 🤔 *If you feel confident but handle compliments and insults the same way, it indicates a lack of true confidence. Confidence is multi-dimensional and should be unbiased in receiving feedback.*
22:30 🤷 *Body dysmorphia, especially in bodybuilders, can be challenging to treat. The distinction between ego-syntonic and ego-dystonic behaviors is essential in understanding psychological issues.*
26:30 🚫 *Calling something "easy" in the context of building confidence is devaluing and implies incompetence. Confidence is not easy, and labeling it as such overlooks the individual's struggle and challenges.*
28:16 🔄 *Self-destructive behaviors can be ego-syntonic, where individuals believe they are doing the right thing even though they are harming themselves. Recognizing self-destructive patterns requires self-reflection.*
31:24 🌳 *Building confidence involves challenging oneself in ways where external judgments are irrelevant. Spending time in nature, engaging in activities without societal expectations, can contribute positively to confidence development.*
Made with HARPA AI
Saw this channel while I was watching Gorgc. Been really helpful in understanding people's behaviors including mine.
he has helped me so much he doesn’t even know. just know people appreciate you man!!❤️
Lol the guy in the background picking up important life lessons.
Lol who is he?
@@maruko8324 helping with the tech part of the video im sure
ego isn't your enemy, ego is your edge
Dr. Alok is a godsend for gamers and everybody who needs that +1
Rick and Morty really took the idea of "But if all I am is a dude who's taking a dump, no one can take that away from me" 10:40
*Rick and morty rick and morty rick rick rick* -Souljaboy
With the way he describes “the mask,” I’m assured of the meaning in the song “Beneath the Mask” from Persona 5.
Can't wait for the next stream. Valuable information.
I love you Dr k, keepin it real in cyberspace
does playing minecraft count as going into nature
no ‼️
but like, send tha server 😳😳
probably
XD
9:23 “You can’t do this to me… YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I SACRIFICED!?”
Lol
That's feel so right. I don't feel bad but because I sacrificed my life for my mom. I feel like I have no value to be loved and don't find it valuable to cultivate relationships.
Just some questions for you: What is the relationship between high emotional intelligence and confidence? Or high emotional intelligence and ego? Could the development of extremely high emotional intelligence lead to a natural kind of confidence that isn't egoic?
good question. I personally think that yes a high emotional intelligence can lead to a form of confidence but it can, and usually will, lead to a becoming very self concious > lack of confidence.
I'd like to figure out who I am ASAP 23 now. I want the rest of my life to be healthy and happy, and spread both of those out to as many people as I can.
Raw early stage Dr. K is just what I & we needed
Dr K and Vivek can change the world
10:05 the Indian accent is fighting back 😂😁
So being a man taking a dump is something no one can take from me eh?
So be it.
I am hereby Lord Deficus, taker of mountain dumps, and he who sits upon the Iron Toilet.
All hail Lord Deficus, praise be his mighty mountain dumps. May all wish to drink from such holy Iron Toilet water.
Love you dude thank you!
why is it so easy to access the rejected side and so hard to access and project the confident side.. is it purely conditioning?
I think so. At least, for the most part.
Decartes speaks about this - its part nature for some, and other is part selfdisciplime
Check out his letters to queen elizabeth
This video inspired me to take a dump! Thanks doc🙏🙏🙏
"I dump, therefore I AM"
9:25 Is he talking about Papa John? 0.0
hah
I was thinking the same!
amazing work!
I'm just gonna chill and take a dump after watching this. Thanks doc
Hi Dr. K. Thank you for all the help and guidance you provide to people, but i have a question.
Context to the question:
You talked about living in the present, don't think about the future, dont think about the past. I understand this, focusing on the past leads to regrets, remembering the painful moments and often overall sadness, in terms of future, you are thinking about what it is you need to achieve, that you didnt achieve, what it is you should do but dont feel like doing now and you beat yourself about not doing it and how it is going to hurt your future and so the way to be happy should be, to focus on the present. I was wondering though, the example about the streamer you said is she was enjoying streaming, then stopped enjoying it (probably because of the dopamin reward system adaptation right?) but she stayed streaming because of ego and the overall social role and identity she created around it even thought she did no longer like it.
Actual question (or rather questions):
So in this situation, in your opinion, what should she do? stop streaming and focus on something else that makes her happy? You said watch the sunset, do something that makes you happy. But what if everything that makes you happy does not provide income for you? How are you going to live? Or what should you do in a situation in which basically producing stuff (creating value) is not enjoyable for you, only consuming stuff does?
For me personally, i know just-about what i want in life, but i dislike any vehicle of how to get there and therefore seem to be stuck in a same place.
This is so helpful. Thank you again Dr. K, I'm finding so many parts of the equation to understanding myself through your videos, group coaching and your Guide
Thanks man this vid really helped me me
"Who's taking a dump?"
"I AM"
Ego = the way others perceive you.
Best common denominator so far that encompasses what you talk about.
Or realisitically at least the way you care and imagine what others think of you. Mantra : "I don't give a damn what others think".
im addicted to dr k videos
something i found that makes me able not to react out of ego is simply taking a few seconds to focus on my breathing. i guess that puts you in direct contact with yourself instead of an idea of who you are.
10:20 identity tied, crisis further down the line
12:00 hs
14:35 concerned abt how its going to look
Flawless Dr.K 💯💯💯
But how to get confidence in dating, because you can't date without someone judging you.
The only way is to start without thinking but like that's the first time you date you're gonna be horrible and your confidence will decrease even more.
So how to get confident in the domains where people judge you?
Confidence is about acting in the face of uncertainty because you believe that you can manage what comes. This is what Dr.K said recently. So when dating, you should be aware that it could go right or wrong. You will probably get judged anyway, but it is how you manage that judgment. If you think by yourself: even if I mess up this date, it will be a big step to improve myself socially and improve my ability to face judgment; you don't have to stress as much and I think it will become easier to become confident. Also detaching yourself from results and instead aim for living and having fun in the now could help.
this man is a hero
3:48 Unless you have no ego and blame yourself for everything.. thats very destructive
Is the ego just the pain/reward centre activating in the context of perceived identity?
That was an awesome video. You broke it all down into simple terms. So we are all just a "Guy"
8:21
Dr. K's friend: 🤣
Dr. K: Not funny
Dr. K's friend: 😐
Glad this popped up on my recommended
I just found out about this rejection sensitive dysphoria thing and every single thing in the list of symptom like stuff match exactly with me
Rejection sensitivity syndrome - That sounds familiar. I guess I have it on some level. It spoils my game time, and I'm basically dropping off my controller and keyboard.
I still am not saying that gaming is the problem here, but it's over other parts of my life.
I have no friends, and social culture here is bs, so try to do anything without alcohol...
I'm confident with executing plans and going along, but not really being in front and first.
I can't start conversations really, at least couldn't in school, but I've always known that adult people follow some basic rules in conversations, and uphold basic levels of respect for others as part of the egoistic mask, for whatever reason.
If they see me really worthless or not worth of the time, they wouldn't do even that.
Usually I would see the points that would either point at either them being in hurry, or that they think they are big and buff.
I would like to find that confidence to stand before those people who carry inflated egos.
It has always been something I've never understood, and something I've been somewhat scared of.
I feel bit nasty for thinking about playing around with the size of my own ego, but that shouldn't matter right?
I was like seven or eight when I first time faced someone that had built up some sort of ego for themselves, who was same age, and they used it to just insult me, and to just reinforce their own ego.
I was ok with the insult, but I didn't understand why would someone do something like that to someone just to inflate their ego and started crying.
I have some level of dysmorphia, and I feel either fat, or something that has never changed, and my body has changed its size multiple times. Im not so worried about my body, but I can't really think it's any different. What I think it is that it is fat or lower mid.
Part of the squiggle on the right lines up perfectly with the fold of the curtain
अहंकार
Any ideas on more "judgement-free zones" besides nature or what that might look like?
Everywhere no one is around, basically. The important point is that you have to do something without someone judging it. 🤷♂️
meditation zone
11:53 is it possible to not develop this part of the brain?
I as a child accepted that no one will ever like me and that is it actually their problem and that I dont really care.
Had some amazing friends since then and still do. I just feel like I dont really care what they think of me, so sometimes I do some stupid shit and they are like: "you are such an idiot" but in a good way and they still like me. This not caring what people think of me, gives me so much freedom to express myself
Makes me think how money is tied to ego because it's all about the future
So if you receive a compliment, but it's a compliment that you think isn't deserved because you think you can do better,is that from a lack of confidence?
9:28 This smile tells me his patient was Papa John lmao
fantastic video
so depression is when you even beat your ego the self protecting gear?
I am confident that I am not confident.
11:34 what he had 45 Viewers back then
7:33 12:00 14:23 15:42 18:10
this stroked my ego a bit
I stroked my kong.
@@holymacarenafin2319 keep up the good work
this stroked my ego so i stroked my kong but it caused a stroke
Just adding that picture on thumbanil could be different this is red guy called Stańczyk is in painting of Prussian Homage in 16 century what he is doing as Painter intended
His worried face shows doubt that the homage will mean victory in the long run, and he is making a gesture to repel bad luck. Cause in future this country that was doing homage is one of the countries taking apart Poland and ending it's independence.
11:30 Can we say that our identity is defined by our current actions i.e. thing that you're doing right now, at the moment? And if that is the case, then, can we also say that two or more humans doing same things within a definite time frame, given they are at the same place, are no different whatsoever?
the dump part sent me. But it's so true!!!
so question, is the "end goal for life" to try and balance ego and confidence, or do the most to get rid of ego??
i have the same question because i see a lot of people be like "drop your ego" so is that actually what people should do? and if it is how do i just drop my ego?
As someone who has quite a lot of insight into spirutuality and enlightenment, i can tell you that the more your ego diminishes the better literally everything in your life becomes and the amount of doubt you have decreases. To have completely transcended one's ego is to live completely free of doubt and as a result of that you will be extremely confident, in a good way. If you manage to raise your vibration/consciousness to a certain point, everything in your perception will merge into a state of oneness. You will see and feel with extreme clarity that everything in this society, world and universe is intimately connected with everything else and that no real separation has ever existed on an existential level.
You will have a deeper intuitive feeling connection with literally every single thing in life, a sense of porpuse, profundity and grace that is far beyond and far greater then anything you can possibly imagine right now. To try and give you a picture of what it is like, imagine the best and most profound dream you ever had, if you can remember that. When you woke up all you wanted to do was to go back to the dream and you probably tried to but failed. Living in the spiritually enligthened state is kind of like living in that dream but much, much better.
I've been trying to find a concise definition/explanation of ego for a long time. Here's what I've pieced together in that time. Just my understanding/interpretation/opinion here. I don't mean to imply or say anyone else is incorrect.
Ego is any labels, judgement or ideas we have of who or what we are that isn't factual. They can form in your mind as a response to any stimulus.
Maybe emotion too, I'm not sure about that. We can't control our emotions but a lot, if not all of them come from our labels, judgement and ideas of everything.
Our true self would be what's left after we strip all of that away.
If we're talking physical, that would be our physical body. Skin, muscle, fat, blood, organs, brain, electrical impulses, hormones and so on...
If we're talking about the mind, I struggle with that more. I'm not sure there's something in our mind that isn't ego, the true self.
I think, if anything, true self may be the observer of the thoughts and sensory input, consciousness and perception.
Maybe there's something more but I don't know.
Examples:
Ego says, "I'm good because I gave that homeless person money."
Reality says, "I gave that person money."
Ego, "I'm stupid because I failed the exam"
Reality, "I failed the exam."
Ego, "I'm bad or evil because I don't feel guilty after accidentally running over my neighbor's pet."
Reality, "I accidentally ran over my neighbor's pet."
Ego, "I'm successful because I reached my education/career/income/exercise goals."
Reality, "I set goals and reached them."
Ego, "I'm a teacher, athlete, gamer, artist, criminal etc..."
Reality, "I'm a human that shares information with other humans,"
"I do whatever sport,"
"I play video games,"
"I sculpt, paint, weld, sing, play piano, etc..."
"I broke whatever law,"
Ego, "I'm ugly or beautiful."
Reality, "Art, aesthetics and beauty are subjective. I am a human."
Ego, "I'm American, African, Asian, European, German, Australian, Russian, Chinese, English, etc...."
Reality, "I was born somewhere on Earth."
These are all just actions. No judgement or constructs.
If you accept my interpretation, then ego isn't good or bad, right or wrong.
It becomes more of a tool, kind of like a user interface between the true self and the rest of the world.
If our brain is a very complex, biological computer, then it's being programmed all of our lives. By external influences and internal interpretations. The result of that programming would be the ego in this case. Maybe it can be reprogrammed in some ways?
So, one of my goals for life is to learn and try to understand ego as much as I possibly can. Then use that information to try to identify when my ego is taking control and potentially harming myself or others around me. Not just physical harm but psychological/emotional harm as well. I definitely don't always catch it, if even most of the time. I'm far from enlightenment hahah. But it has helped me drastically when it comes to identifying the roots of where my emotions are coming from and in developing and maintaining my relationships with family, friends and other people in general.
Maybe confidence in communication comes from knowing that you definitely have accurate information when it comes to sharing information/teaching.
Maybe self-confidence comes from self-acceptance.
@@shanecar84 thank yoh
Is the ego also the person to make us lazy when it comes to exercise?
We should move and exercise to stay alive. And yet some of the smartest people I know, refuse to do it and get fat and sick.
I'm getting used to having Dr K's face on my computer screen
Don't we need ego though... I don't want to be just a person taking a dump so to speak. I want to be motivated to develop more identity. Forming more of a concept of "who I am"...my personal "identity" is what fills me (ego) but also what *motivates me.... So how do I divorce from ego when it's literally the fuel for life? Anyone relate or can someone give me insight on how to not have ego and have genuine personal motivation?
Actually there’s another video on this channel called “can you have a healthy ego?” that addresses this
"Who am I" is the most ridiculous idea humanity has somehow invented.
@@chickenlover657 it’s not an invention, it’s a natural function of the mind to consider the self 🤔
@@time_luck11 I did not say self. READ.
@@chickenlover657 so what did you mean
21:30 bookmark
Thank you