As long as one is learning. A life spent making mistakes is not honourable or useful. That’s just a life wasted and spent doing the wrong thing. All of this self help stuff becomes mindless cliche.
Yes it is, sir, according to your view, coming from your experience.. But not all people were just like you.. Yes this stuff help for us not to do the same mistakes and I hope so..?
I'm an introvert, one of the problems we have is people dont understand we need to get away from everyone to recharge once in a while, or might just need a pass on a social event on occasion.
They dont, many people think its their fault that you "dont like them so much so you hang out with them every day" or that you are weird. Hoewer its a great natural push-pull techinque tbh :'D just always be mindful of yourself, take it as a joke just say im a robot i have to recharge for a weekend so maybe next weekend we can arrange something...because guess what? If you are "nice" and dont take it to the heart, others wont do it either also on top people treasure rare things and an introvert's time is effin' rare!
Why is being a leader a good thing though? 🤔 I feel like I would loose so much of my freedom if I were to become one. The top spot is hardly ever the most comfortable one 😉 let the leader lead I'm too busy having a good time for that.
i think introverts need a topic that they are passionate about, to be in a crowd. otherwise, we stand silent and try to be invisible. extroverts need a crowd to so they can be passionate about any topic. otherwise ,they will feel invisible.
For an introvert, the context of the conversation is everything. If the conversation is in regards to something that holds value the one having the conversation with an introvert will either forget the individual is an introvert or not even be aware at all. The best quality fo introverts is they generally have slightly better listening skills, while extroverts generally have better talking skills. This is not to say either cannot become proficient at both, it is just a matter of where one started off.
Even introverts need social interaction. I can hang out with 7 friends who I am really close to, for a long time and enjoy it. I can also hang out with 3 people I'm not very comfortable with, and I will not enjoy it. Either way, I will be tired afterwards (different levels of tired), but I will recharge faster after if I enjoyed the company.
I am an introvert by the definition give here, yet I have been in senior management positions in several job.. I actually dont have a problem telling people what to do although I am told I come across as a somewhat distant person. - sounds about right.
We are all social creatures, no matter our dispositions. I am an introvert. I moan when my phone rings rather than jump with joy. I don't organize parties. I like to spend quality time with individuals. But I still gain from social interaction - it helps me come out of brooding, develop ideas, and when I'm sharing knowledge and thoughts, I can actually become pretty talkative and excited.
Not me -- I develop ideas best when I do it all by myself, and as for brooding, I don't mind it (in fact, it can actually HELP me tune out if I find myself in any kind of festive environment that I can't readily escape from)!
Two things that exhaust me are people over taxing my attention, and expecting me to be like an extrovert. It is awesome when people see me for who I am and engage to be with me, not just to get my attention, or have some expectation for me to get some thrill out of having attention put on me.
I used to hate being an introvert but now I just love being one. Introverts can get shy, awkward, aloof all the things you can name but once you get to know them they're one of the genuine people you can find (I'm not generalizing anyone but introverts don't find joy in being the center of attention so you could always trust on their genuinity)
Extroverts always tell introverts to speak up more, open up to people more. Why can't they direct the finger at themselves and quiet down, have some personal privacy, mind their own business et cetera?
Agree 100%. I have a brother and sister in law like this, and you should see them at get-togethers. They love to hear themselves talk. Be the center of attention at their own parties and prey on introverted minded people. (Myself). Annoying beyond reproach.
@@justinrogers9010 Seems like when extroverts preach to speak up more, what they mean is 'praise me more' and 'tell me more about your vulnerabilities, so that I can gossip abount those behind your back'. This must be the case, because when you are brutally honest and say something like 'your singing was bad', or 'what you did was wrong' the usual response is 'shut up', 'why do you talk so much', or something similar to that. Your mentioned brother and sister-in-law might or might not have histrionic personality disorder or borderline personality disorder. Attention seeking is the common symptom of these two mental disorders. Which made me think, when people see a introvert, they wonder what is wrong with him, why he is so quiet. But when someone sees an extrovert, he doesn't think, 'Why is he talking so much? What is wrong with him?'
I am impressed with the intensity of John Maxwell's listening. Knows more than everyone on that stage, hungrier for knowledge than everyone in that room. Awe inspiring.
This definitely helped me a lot. I am an introvert who is going into law. I was having second thoughts of not pursuing a career into law because I am an introvert. I feel at ease from watching this video
Johnny Depp’s Lawyer, Ben Chew, seemed like a fellow introvert, but he was also an exceptional lawyer! Don’t worry about being an introvert, use it to your strength!
SPOT ON!! I think one key is understanding what's needed in the current moment, and showing up as needed. While also understanding how you recharge. An introvert isn't necessarily "anti-people", they just "recharge" best with some alone or quiet time.
I love this! When he said "undying belief in your cause" I got chills. I could never explain this flat out need to accomplish this mission my souls has but he spoke to me just then.
Love that! All great leaders - whether introvert or extravert - have an undying belief in their cause. Charisma is how much you're willing to devote to that. And if you have charisma you heave leadership. Powerful!
Self awareness and understanding your individual unique qualities is fundamental. Regardless of being introverted or extroverted, knowing what you can offer to others means you can be incredibly empowered either way
I think the problem is how we associate hyperactivity or hyper-energy with good leadership. True leaders walk together with everyone, not ahead of everyone.
For the longest time, I've been made fun of because I am an introvert and I aspire to be like you someday, but today my whole world has shifted it seems
Energy is one way; I certainly can see this. I just reflect on where I feel I’m my best self, and that’s never in the big meeting, it’s most often when I’m spending hours staring at that enormous spreadsheet finding the patterns and plotting the critical charts everyone else is missing.
That's a good definition of an introvert / extrovert. If social interactions sap your energy you're an introvert, but if it boosts your energy then you're an extrovert. But there's another type called ambivert, who enjoy limited social interactions. Simon is not an introvert but an ambivert, and so am I.
Reminds me of a story about Johnny Carson. He hated Hollywood parties. If he went you'd find him off in a corner talking to a couple people, or more likely showing them a card trick. But every evening, he was in millions of people's homes on their television and talked to the most famous and powerful people of his time.
Absolutely 100% spot on!! I am an introvert & I limit my energy even with my own daughter & family!! I am my own company❤️ too many people, too much noise, lowers my vibration...
Same here! Also, since you seem to be from the deep end of the scale like I am, could you tell me in a few words (or more than a few, your choice) what's it like for an introvert to have kids?
That chef thing he talked about I can really relate with as whenever there's some kind of event or gathering going on I always hide behind my cooking skills 😂
This is exactly what I needed coz I have always felt guilty for possessing all the xtics of an introvert. I have always tried to cover it by speaking a lot to friends & acquaintances but deep within, am feeling awkward. Thank God that now am comforted! Now I am completely comfortable with who I am.
YES!!!! This is the best explanation I've heard regarding introverts and extroverts! People tend to think that I'm an extrovert because I have a fun personality more one on one, but get me at a party and I will do the exact same thing you mentioned. People also don't get how I'm perfectly content being by myself. I have an in depth understanding of energy, but most people don't or are just beginning to understand, so explaining can take a little time.
Yes, agree with you. If you are an introvert try to reaching out one by one. Don't start with a group talking, just start with a person by person and then try to group. It gave you more confidence more than you ever imagine. Good Luck Guys. Hope it helps ❤️🔥
Thank you Simon this is so encouraging me. I'm not a shy person. I can lead bunch of people and I love teaching and speaking. Even I don't like being in the spotlight. I just want to equip people, and want to bring out the best in them. I led multiple times even in the big groups or big audiences. But yeah after the event I will be in the room for couple days or find a nature place to be alone. I don't have desire to talk or meet people
I wake up with the 5 coins. I get recharged when I’m alone so that when I show up as my authentic self, I have something to give to someone else. When I’m done, I go home to my peaceful, quiet house with no pets or people other than me & my husband. I love children, so my students have been my kids. It works quite well to have love, energy, peace & quiet, & balance.👍🏾
Absolutely! the energy and charisma all these comes from undying believe in your cause and "Why". and the second thing is you learn what you don't have or unskilled at is through or from the ones who have or skilled at those things.
I think most people both gain energy from some interactions and lose energy from other interactions and a key is finding, filtering for and creating the interactions that give you energy. When the social batteries are empty it's important to recharge without too much interactions, true. I worry though, that labeling oneself as "introvert" makes one lose out on the opportunities that one could have had created without the label when having high social battery loads.
i like this manner of thinking : when social battery is empty. Indeed this is how it feels, regardless of what caused (interesting to figure this out, not always possible), then it's time to recharge by yourself.
I feel heard. Thank you. I consider myself a social introvert, so smiling, being friendly, and socializing come naturally to me. As you alluded to, some people might not see me as socially awkward (although I feel that way most times). I also love parties because I love music. However, I am ready to curl up and read a book after a fun-filled weekend or vacation. I step outside and have a good time once or twice a month. However, my biggest issue is how the world treats introverts and how introverts are often overlooked for leadership roles, even when they're qualified and awesome. It's how extroverts try to force introverts into small, meaningless talk. The "what's wrong with you?" attitude probably affects introverts who aren't as social.
When I was younger, I always thought I was different. I was shy and never outgoing, I'm not the type of person to start a conversation. As I got older and wiser, I realize I'm not different I just have a different personality type, but they don't teach you that as a young kid.
So leadership is basically a series of competencies and beliefs, regardless of personality traits which is what we focus on at our channel. I agree that a leader can be successful regardless of personality traits and how they re-energize.
@Justin Lukas that may be your experience with people you’ve worked for, however I disagree that your definition is what the essence of leadership is about. Good leadership is a cluster of behaviours, skills, and responsibilities just as @brytertraining says. There are always good and bad leaders though. Hopefully you become one of the good ones.
0:54 i always make sure an extrovert friend is with me for this reason. They fill the silence so i can continue to ponder and overthink, but then I can still jump in when i am ready with good stuff to say...!
This is so true, I find it so easy to talk and almost unconsciously one on one but recording videos is hard to do .. free though via words vs thinking before speaking. This was gd 👌🏽
I would have loved to have learned more! Being an introvert in the corporate world can be challenging. At my company 30% of your year end evaluation is based on being seen as a leader. Unfortunately, the activities and projects that are required for this type of engagement often have nothing to do with the day to day responsibilities of your job. Also, these projects add little value to the shareholders or employees of the company, and creates destructive competition with teammates. As an introvert it is difficult to stand out in this type of environment. You can excel in your job duties but if you aren't "seen" frequently among leadership you could be overshadowed by others who are better at playing the game. Accomplishments become less about merit and more about a popularity contest.
Thank you simon! from this vidio we can understan Introversion and extroversion are not barriers to being a leader or communicating effectively. Although an introvert loses energy from social interactions, they can harness the power of their personality to connect with others. Phenomenal leaders like Jim Senegal and Richard Branson are examples of how belief in purpose and charisma can transcend differences in introversion or extroversion. So, focus on leveraging your personal uniqueness to achieve success.
🤔I've never heard introversion characterized quite like this before. How it's about energy (and not so much solely about social awkwardness). That bit he said "an introvert wakes up in the morning w/ 5 coins, every social interaction they spent a coin at the end they're depleted" 🙊those words ring true for me!! I'm having an aha moment over here - I am an utterly, unreservedly, unequivocal INTROVERT🙈☺️
Wow that's is a very important example of how you find your passion , because imagine doing something that you love and would do for free, but just so happen to make a great living in the process 💯 percent 🎯🥂
I believe no-one is 100% introvert or extrovert. Everyone has attributes of both. More prominent attributes of yours will make you an introvert or extrovert.
I mean, how _could_ someone be "100% introverted" for example? Literally no one thinks in those terms. What would being "100%" introverted even mean? That you walk out the door, your neighbour says hi and you just _die?_ Of course there are different "stages" of introversion and extroversion, because people aren't programmed machines. The key difference is the experience of finding social interaction either fulfilling or draining. That's it. And as an introvert myself, I feel like one of the reasons for it is that I give a lot of attention and thought to every conversation I have, and I also generally don't like getting attention in everyday situations. And because of that, there are only so many conversations I can have before I'm "out of battery". Whereas extroverts seem to often be different in that they enjoy getting attention, and are often less focused in conversations, jumping from one person to the next, maybe even having multiple conversations at a time. At the end of the day, being introverted or extroverted isn't a personality. It's two different ways that the social part of your brain can be hardwired.
There ARE actually a few people who are 100% introvert -- I know of at least 2! And there probably are a few who are 100% extrovert, although I personally don't know of any!
Confidence is key. Introverts have quiet confidence and extroverts have loud confidence. It is assumed that all extroverts are confident by default. That's not true. The are lots of extroverts who waffle a lot of nothing at social gatherings. Introverts can have quiet confidence. When this confidence is delivered properly, their logic becomes impactul. Elon Musk always delivers logic and intelligence, and no one notices how shy and introverted he is.
I can totally relate to this discussion about introverts and extroverts. Being an introvert, I used to find social situations draining, but I've learned to use my personality for public speaking and connecting with people. This became much easier after I met my life coach, Lisa Haisha. Lisa helped me find my true self, embrace my unique qualities, and believe in my life's purpose. With Lisa's guidance, I've harnessed my charisma and leadership skills, proving that I can achieve my goals. Thanks for sharing this content. It's a great reminder of what my life coach has taught me.
I failed at public presentations and just because I seemed nervous and the reason probably I lost a lot of good job opportunities even tho I was qualify. Stay strong my introverts people you will get there eventually.
I consider myself as an ambivert: depending on what kind of people I'm communicating with, determines will I lose or gain energy. Hanging around with douchebags etc will drain my energy fast but hanging around people with heart and sincerity will give me energy.
In one of his two books on introversion Swedish writer Linus Jonkman makes the very general distinction between introverted and shy in the following way: Let's imagine the average scenario (dinner/party) in which you're about to enter a room to meet and mingle with ~30 people you never met before. A shy person will feel MORE comfortable in the room as time goes by, whereas an introvert will feel LESS comfortable as time goes by. While you're often a bit of both, and you might think it goes "hand in hand", this example shows how the two aspects can work in completely opposite ways. During one of his talks with Joe Rogan I remember Henry Rollins saying something like: I'd rather be on stage in front of 1000 people than mingle with only a fraction of them. Again, introverted but not necessarily shy as in "don't want any eyes on me in any circumstance". On stage he's in control no matter how big the audience compared to in a mingle setting. I, a super introverted person, learned about introversion roughly at age 35 (3-4 years ago). Before that I'd best describe myself as "calm". I want all extroverts to have perfect knowledge about introversion, but if it's possible for me to have so little knowledge about something that so strongly applies to myself, I don't expect much in terms of how knowledgeable non-introverts are about introvert traits. I can only welcome every instance where it's brought into light, like this one.
👋 Extrovert here, my best friend is an introvert. That definition is perfect. I work 2 customer service jobs, so I talk alot, but I'm an amazing listener and I have a great memory. I'm going to college for psychology and sexual science. I love this video so much! You sir, have a new subscriber!!!😁
I find it interesting him saying he can't "hold court" but can talk to people individually. I'm an introvert as well, but I'm the exact opposite. I have no problem with public speaking to a group (after years of practice) because the group generally follows your speech and the response is more as a collective. I have real problems speaking to people one-on-one because they expect actual answers to questions and for me to hold up my end of the conversation.
your problem is lack of confidence in what you're talking about - not a problem with groups, because they won't challenge you generally, but in one-on-one situations you are more likely to get into debate - and if you have problem with that - means you're unsure of yourself and your opinions - it has nothing to do with being extra or introvert
I'm totally like you in what you're describing, but I would guess with "hold court" he means being in the center of the conversation in a casual/party setting rather than speaking on stage (which you can prepare for). I myself would think I can give a prepared speech in a captivating way, but I wouldn't pull off being the center of everyone's attention in a dinner/party setting because of my captivating storytelling in a million years even if my life depended on it.
This content is impressive. I once read a book along the same lines that shifted my worldview. "The Art of Saying No: Mastering Boundaries for a Fulfilling Life" by Samuel Dawn
Introversion comes with many great benefits! It is the way you look at your introversion qualities, where you can see the benefits. If you only see your introversion traits as negative, you will never learn how to use its benefits but if you learn how you can work with those traits, it can greatly help your business and personal life!
I think people focus a lot on complementary character traits, as if being being an extrovert makes 90% of being a leader, for example. It seems that things like extremely high competence in a field would not play a role at all in leadership.
Interesting. I am an introvert who enjoys public speaking. However, I cannot focus on the individual, but must focus on the whole audience. I view it like a thing, like a machine with buttons to trigger emotions and thoughts. The buttons are the words, the voice inflections, the body language. By viewing the audience as a system while I explore the inputs, outputs and feedback loop, I can speak to a crowd and enjoy it.
Awesome! Thank you! I've learned to balance my energy by not giving too much of it away. And sometimes, it varies right? Just listen to your body and take rest and quiet when it suits you. Move forward again to socialise when you feel your cup is full again. But I still have a firm belief and passion in my true North and that's what I'm devoted to.
*Tao te Ching, Chapter 17* (translated by Stephen Mitchell) When the Master governs, the people are hardly aware that he exists. Next best is a leader who is loved. Next, one who is feared. The worst is one who is despised. If you don't trust the people, you make them untrustworthy. The Master doesn't talk, he acts. When his work is done, the people say, "Amazing: we did it, all by ourselves!"
As I've gotten older, I've realized that this is the truth. Introverts can still be the most popular and well respected people you know. Just because you're an extrovert doesn't mean you're some charismatic person. It's all about confidence. Some of the high-key coolest, and most popular people I know are introverts.
I always thought I was messed up or mentally ill growing up because I never had the same desire to interact with people as much as most of my friends do. I'm glad that the differences between extroverts and introverts are normalized nowadays and openly talked about.
The spending coins analogy for introverts & extroverts is the best description! I also prefer the word “introspective”. Prof Cheek - There are 4 shades of introversion: social, thinking, anxious, and restrained. And many introverts are a mix of all four types, rather than demonstrating one type over the others. STAR Model
I love simon! Really admire his thoughts, always have, but here he contradicted himself. Initially he said that introversion and extroversion is all about energy lost or gained due to social interactions.. but then while talking about examples for introvert leaders, he gave examples on the basis of how awkward they are in social settings. Something to think about. Just an observation.
i think he meant to give examples based on the popular definition, examples which everyone will accept, not just those with the correct, energy-based, definition of introversion
He did contradict himself because he was using their social awkwardness as evidence of their introversion despite at the beginning claiming there is no such link. Most people I know who are socially awkward are introverts, I don’t see anything controversial about that claim. However - and maybe this is the point he is trying to make - that doesn’t mean all introverts are socially awkward and it doesn’t mean all extroverts are socially confident.
Yes wow 💕. It's about the energy being depleted or replenished. I lose my energy but refuel by being alone. I love it Simon ❤️. 🙏 Give all of it always. Cheers to passion and charisma. 🙏
I'm an INTJ. Some time ago I had to go on weekend course for management training. We got there Friday evening and left Sunday evening. We had to spend all day and night together including all meals. I was absolutely exhausted and ended up with a massive migraine. Couldn't wait to get home
Wow that was amazing. Basically what Simon sad I did make my own experience in small cases. But I would never find the worlds to formulate it like him. Just brilliant !
@@MooneLightEntertainment Chill. it's not an issue, but it cuts directly against the statment he made in the beginning. It's ur loss if u don't see the irony.
This is a mosaic of wisdom. I read a similar book that pieced together equally valuable insights. "The Art of Saying No: Mastering Boundaries for a Fulfilling Life" by Samuel Dawn
He's right, I was a socially-awkward extrovert for many years. My social skills have improved now so I'm not socially-awkward (at least not in most situations).
I feel like the true cause of introversion and extroversion is how you are adapted to your environment. If the environment is hostile or you don't fit in, you are going to feel awkward and prolonged awkwardness leads to introversion. Likewise, if you fit in well and feel comfortable, you become open, engaging and confident. It leads to extroversion. It's just a form of interaction with your environment. Not a personality that is set in stone.
Nah i believe its part of personality .u get it from parents .yeah enviroment and people contgibute hugely to this factor but there is nothing wrong with being introvert .its just like a normal personality type .
We are dynamic and ever-evolving beings. It's not an absolute trait. Some days we might feel on top of the hill, other days we might want to hide. Both apply to extroverts, introverts and ambiverts. Know thyself. That's the fastest lane :)
Jestem singlem jestem ekstrawertykiem,uwielbiam tłumy i domówki w związku introwertykiem, spokój cisza, skupianie się na obowiazkach... Tak wam pomogę trochę w analizie 👍
Once you know your type and your limits, then you can sometimes push them and play with those boundaries to learn new skills, not all the time, but doing it occasionally equips you with new skills. Don’t fix yourself permanently in a type and justify avoiding all the things the other side has to offer.
I've always said that I love talking to people individually, for example group chats are boring but chatting with each one of them alone is interesting, I'm an introvert but I didn't know it's an introvert think I thought it's a me thing 🤭
“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing
I think that’s missing context. A life spent ripping off old people and stealing their savings is better than nothing?
meaning? It is only when u learned from mistakes and improving, when u still have room for improvement.. Yes it is..
As long as one is learning. A life spent making mistakes is not honourable or useful. That’s just a life wasted and spent doing the wrong thing. All of this self help stuff becomes mindless cliche.
Yes it is, sir, according to your view, coming from your experience.. But not all people were just like you.. Yes this stuff help for us not to do the same mistakes and I hope so..?
Just when u think everything is perfect and it isn't... Well, believe God instead
I'm an introvert, one of the problems we have is people dont understand we need to get away from everyone to recharge once in a while, or might just need a pass on a social event on occasion.
They dont, many people think its their fault that you "dont like them so much so you hang out with them every day" or that you are weird.
Hoewer its a great natural push-pull techinque tbh :'D just always be mindful of yourself, take it as a joke just say im a robot i have to recharge for a weekend so maybe next weekend we can arrange something...because guess what? If you are "nice" and dont take it to the heart, others wont do it either also on top people treasure rare things and an introvert's time is effin' rare!
Yeah people don’t get this at all
Even our family can't understand us sometimes
Sure, if you understand that they equally need social interaction.
@Ethan Pintar true. People start getting weird when they're alone too much. Everyone needs to try and find the right balance.
The biggest mistake an introvert can make is trying to act like an extrovert.
Just Be yourself.
perfect
but how do u survive without acting like an extrovert?
Unless you can be a Batman, then be a Batman. :D
Yeah! Totally exhausting.
this happening to me im constantly trying to be extorvert and it's exhausting
Oh boy, I needed to hear this.
Listen up my fellow introverts... you don't need to change who you are to be a great leader!
Got it!
I already know that i know it from the day I realized I am an introvert.
Why is being a leader a good thing though? 🤔 I feel like I would loose so much of my freedom if I were to become one. The top spot is hardly ever the most comfortable one 😉 let the leader lead I'm too busy having a good time for that.
Now every introvert should stand for presidency
Am comforted!❤️❤️❤️❤️
Hello to all the introverts of the world!!!!
Howdy!
Hi there!
😬🤐
Hey there...
or more like "Hello to all the people who watched this video"
i think introverts need a topic that they are passionate about, to be in a crowd. otherwise, we stand silent and try to be invisible.
extroverts need a crowd to so they can be passionate about any topic. otherwise ,they will feel invisible.
That’s me, I can’t be bothered with small talk, but pick a subject that I care about and stand back!
@@fidget2020 like minds brother! i wander parties looking for something to dive into. if i cant find one, i bail or recluse.
I really agree with your point
Absolutely!
@@chaddelong998 or eating cheese by standing in the corner -
One of the Introvert Leader
Sometimes I am energized by social interactions, sometimes depleted. Seems to depend on the company.
For an introvert, the context of the conversation is everything. If the conversation is in regards to something that holds value the one having the conversation with an introvert will either forget the individual is an introvert or not even be aware at all.
The best quality fo introverts is they generally have slightly better listening skills, while extroverts generally have better talking skills. This is not to say either cannot become proficient at both, it is just a matter of where one started off.
Even introverts need social interaction.
I can hang out with 7 friends who I am really close to, for a long time and enjoy it.
I can also hang out with 3 people I'm not very comfortable with, and I will not enjoy it.
Either way, I will be tired afterwards (different levels of tired), but I will recharge faster after if I enjoyed the company.
you have standards
yea same ,for me it depends on the relationship with said person and subject of discussion
I am an introvert by the definition give here, yet I have been in senior management positions in several job.. I actually dont have a problem telling people what to do although I am told I come across as a somewhat distant person. - sounds about right.
We are all social creatures, no matter our dispositions. I am an introvert. I moan when my phone rings rather than jump with joy. I don't organize parties. I like to spend quality time with individuals. But I still gain from social interaction - it helps me come out of brooding, develop ideas, and when I'm sharing knowledge and thoughts, I can actually become pretty talkative and excited.
Couldn't agree more
Yes!
Feels like I have written the comment. Can't agree more
Definitely me
Not me -- I develop ideas best when I do it all by myself, and as for brooding, I don't mind it (in fact, it can actually HELP me tune out if I find myself in any kind of festive environment that I can't readily escape from)!
Two things that exhaust me are people over taxing my attention, and expecting me to be like an extrovert. It is awesome when people see me for who I am and engage to be with me, not just to get my attention, or have some expectation for me to get some thrill out of having attention put on me.
I used to hate being an introvert but now I just love being one. Introverts can get shy, awkward, aloof all the things you can name but once you get to know them they're one of the genuine people you can find (I'm not generalizing anyone but introverts don't find joy in being the center of attention so you could always trust on their genuinity)
Extroverts always tell introverts to speak up more, open up to people more. Why can't they direct the finger at themselves and quiet down, have some personal privacy, mind their own business et cetera?
Because they are extroverts and aren't biased toward that kind of reflection
Yeah they always say why don't you talk more!!!.....Well i never told you to shut up!
Agree 100%. I have a brother and sister in law like this, and you should see them at get-togethers. They love to hear themselves talk. Be the center of attention at their own parties and prey on introverted minded people. (Myself). Annoying beyond reproach.
Extroverts suck up all the oxygen in the room. They gain energy because they're basically emotional vampires.
@@justinrogers9010 Seems like when extroverts preach to speak up more, what they mean is 'praise me more' and 'tell me more about your vulnerabilities, so that I can gossip abount those behind your back'. This must be the case, because when you are brutally honest and say something like 'your singing was bad', or 'what you did was wrong' the usual response is 'shut up', 'why do you talk so much', or something similar to that.
Your mentioned brother and sister-in-law might or might not have histrionic personality disorder or borderline personality disorder. Attention seeking is the common symptom of these two mental disorders. Which made me think, when people see a introvert, they wonder what is wrong with him, why he is so quiet. But when someone sees an extrovert, he doesn't think, 'Why is he talking so much? What is wrong with him?'
Laughing out loud on the part “going to a party with an extrovert friend so the friend can do all the talking while I eat” 🤣🤣🤣
Then the extrovert next to him touches him. Lol.
So me
I use my wife
Gives me hope. I am shy, awkward introvert but very ambitious and focused. We have our strengths as introverts.
I am impressed with the intensity of John Maxwell's listening. Knows more than everyone on that stage, hungrier for knowledge than everyone in that room. Awe inspiring.
This definitely helped me a lot. I am an introvert who is going into law. I was having second thoughts of not pursuing a career into law because I am an introvert. I feel at ease from watching this video
Have fun
How is your career going?
Johnny Depp’s Lawyer, Ben Chew, seemed like a fellow introvert, but he was also an exceptional lawyer! Don’t worry about being an introvert, use it to your strength!
SPOT ON!!
I think one key is understanding what's needed in the current moment, and showing up as needed. While also understanding how you recharge. An introvert isn't necessarily "anti-people", they just "recharge" best with some alone or quiet time.
I love this! When he said "undying belief in your cause" I got chills. I could never explain this flat out need to accomplish this mission my souls has but he spoke to me just then.
👍👍🤝
That 2:35 length video was worth a lot.
It changed my point of view as an introvert.
As an introvert and social awkward persons this video gave the hope to continue what I doing, and there is nothing is wrong with.
Love that! All great leaders - whether introvert or extravert - have an undying belief in their cause. Charisma is how much you're willing to devote to that. And if you have charisma you heave leadership. Powerful!
Self awareness and understanding your individual unique qualities is fundamental. Regardless of being introverted or extroverted, knowing what you can offer to others means you can be incredibly empowered either way
I think the problem is how we associate hyperactivity or hyper-energy with good leadership. True leaders walk together with everyone, not ahead of everyone.
For the longest time, I've been made fun of because I am an introvert and I aspire to be like you someday, but today my whole world has shifted it seems
Are they making fun because they think you're unskilled socially, or because you just tire sooner than they do?
"I like to talk to individuals, I'm introvert"
Yes Yes that's what I do.
Energy is one way; I certainly can see this.
I just reflect on where I feel I’m my best self, and that’s never in the big meeting, it’s most often when I’m spending hours staring at that enormous spreadsheet finding the patterns and plotting the critical charts everyone else is missing.
That's a good definition of an introvert / extrovert. If social interactions sap your energy you're an introvert, but if it boosts your energy then you're an extrovert. But there's another type called ambivert, who enjoy limited social interactions. Simon is not an introvert but an ambivert, and so am I.
True -- a full-blown introvert like me would AVOID public speaking at all costs!
Reminds me of a story about Johnny Carson. He hated Hollywood parties. If he went you'd find him off in a corner talking to a couple people, or more likely showing them a card trick. But every evening, he was in millions of people's homes on their television and talked to the most famous and powerful people of his time.
Absolutely 100% spot on!! I am an introvert & I limit my energy even with my own daughter & family!! I am my own company❤️ too many people, too much noise, lowers my vibration...
Same here! Also, since you seem to be from the deep end of the scale like I am, could you tell me in a few words (or more than a few, your choice) what's it like for an introvert to have kids?
Spot on! The charisma is the undying belief in your cause! They do the talking and you eat the cheese!😊 Thank you. 😊
That chef thing he talked about I can really relate with as whenever there's some kind of event or gathering going on I always hide behind my cooking skills 😂
Make the most of who you are and what you have. Charisma comes from belief and commitment.
This is exactly what I needed coz I have always felt guilty for possessing all the xtics of an introvert. I have always tried to cover it by speaking a lot to friends & acquaintances but deep within, am feeling awkward. Thank God that now am comforted! Now I am completely comfortable with who I am.
Love this❤
YES!!!! This is the best explanation I've heard regarding introverts and extroverts! People tend to think that I'm an extrovert because I have a fun personality more one on one, but get me at a party and I will do the exact same thing you mentioned. People also don't get how I'm perfectly content being by myself. I have an in depth understanding of energy, but most people don't or are just beginning to understand, so explaining can take a little time.
Yes, agree with you. If you are an introvert try to reaching out one by one. Don't start with a group talking, just start with a person by person and then try to group. It gave you more confidence more than you ever imagine.
Good Luck Guys. Hope it helps ❤️🔥
Thank you Simon this is so encouraging me.
I'm not a shy person. I can lead bunch of people and I love teaching and speaking.
Even I don't like being in the spotlight.
I just want to equip people, and want to bring out the best in them.
I led multiple times even in the big groups or big audiences.
But yeah after the event I will be in the room for couple days or find a nature place to be alone. I don't have desire to talk or meet people
That's why musicians on stages are often introverts: Being the musician you don't have to do conversation at parties.
AGREEIANA GRANDE
I wake up with the 5 coins. I get recharged when I’m alone so that when I show up as my authentic self, I have something to give to someone else. When I’m done, I go home to my peaceful, quiet house with no pets or people other than me & my husband. I love children, so my students have been my kids. It works quite well to have love, energy, peace & quiet, & balance.👍🏾
This is what I needed to hear as introvert i thought that I can neither be a leader nor a speaker i am really grateful that i found your channel
Absolutely! the energy and charisma all these comes from undying believe in your cause and "Why". and the second thing is you learn what you don't have or unskilled at is through or from the ones who have or skilled at those things.
I think most people both gain energy from some interactions and lose energy from other interactions and a key is finding, filtering for and creating the interactions that give you energy. When the social batteries are empty it's important to recharge without too much interactions, true. I worry though, that labeling oneself as "introvert" makes one lose out on the opportunities that one could have had created without the label when having high social battery loads.
i like this manner of thinking : when social battery is empty. Indeed this is how it feels, regardless of what caused (interesting to figure this out, not always possible), then it's time to recharge by yourself.
'Undying belief in the cause'💯💐
Introverts unite!
I'd rather not
...But separately, in your own homes
@@danvladfilip8951 indeed!
Yes! But from afar. 😁
@@danvladfilip8951 sigma guys for the win 💪😂
I feel heard. Thank you. I consider myself a social introvert, so smiling, being friendly, and socializing come naturally to me. As you alluded to, some people might not see me as socially awkward (although I feel that way most times). I also love parties because I love music. However, I am ready to curl up and read a book after a fun-filled weekend or vacation. I step outside and have a good time once or twice a month. However, my biggest issue is how the world treats introverts and how introverts are often overlooked for leadership roles, even when they're qualified and awesome. It's how extroverts try to force introverts into small, meaningless talk. The "what's wrong with you?" attitude probably affects introverts who aren't as social.
When I was younger, I always thought I was different. I was shy and never outgoing, I'm not the type of person to start a conversation. As I got older and wiser, I realize I'm not different I just have a different personality type, but they don't teach you that as a young kid.
Same here bruh.
Heyo im ur young version now, thx for the advice xD.
2 of my favorite Leadership leaders on the same panel. Awesome. I have to fine more from this gathering.
So leadership is basically a series of competencies and beliefs, regardless of personality traits which is what we focus on at our channel. I agree that a leader can be successful regardless of personality traits and how they re-energize.
Wow! I can relate. Thank you Simon.
@Justin Lukas that may be your experience with people you’ve worked for, however I disagree that your definition is what the essence of leadership is about. Good leadership is a cluster of behaviours, skills, and responsibilities just as @brytertraining says. There are always good and bad leaders though. Hopefully you become one of the good ones.
0:54 i always make sure an extrovert friend is with me for this reason. They fill the silence so i can continue to ponder and overthink, but then I can still jump in when i am ready with good stuff to say...!
So apt!! Can’t agree more
This is so true, I find it so easy to talk and almost unconsciously one on one but recording videos is hard to do .. free though via words vs thinking before speaking. This was gd 👌🏽
Wow wow wow 😯 💯 he has literally unlocked 🔓 the door for all introvert’s.
i love being introverted i can leave parties and say goodbye and no one would notice social camouflage at its finest
Or better yet, turn down the invitation in the first place (which is what I do)!
This is unresistable to not fall in love with the personality mr simon have !!!
I would have loved to have learned more! Being an introvert in the corporate world can be challenging. At my company 30% of your year end evaluation is based on being seen as a leader. Unfortunately, the activities and projects that are required for this type of engagement often have nothing to do with the day to day responsibilities of your job. Also, these projects add little value to the shareholders or employees of the company, and creates destructive competition with teammates. As an introvert it is difficult to stand out in this type of environment. You can excel in your job duties but if you aren't "seen" frequently among leadership you could be overshadowed by others who are better at playing the game. Accomplishments become less about merit and more about a popularity contest.
What about moving to a company that’s run as a co-operative?
@@AtheistEve Exactly -- sounds like that company is TOXIC, better move to one which values competence rather than popularity!
Thank you simon! from this vidio we can understan Introversion and extroversion are not barriers to being a leader or communicating effectively. Although an introvert loses energy from social interactions, they can harness the power of their personality to connect with others. Phenomenal leaders like Jim Senegal and Richard Branson are examples of how belief in purpose and charisma can transcend differences in introversion or extroversion. So, focus on leveraging your personal uniqueness to achieve success.
Especially since we now can connect via e-mail!
🤔I've never heard introversion characterized quite like this before. How it's about energy (and not so much solely about social awkwardness). That bit he said "an introvert wakes up in the morning w/ 5 coins, every social interaction they spent a coin at the end they're depleted" 🙊those words ring true for me!! I'm having an aha moment over here - I am an utterly, unreservedly, unequivocal INTROVERT🙈☺️
Wow that's is a very important example of how you find your passion , because imagine doing something that you love and would do for free, but just so happen to make a great living in the process 💯 percent 🎯🥂
I’m the same way at parties, except I’m always asked “what’s wrong?”. Didn’t know there had to be something wrong to talk less...
You always make even the toughest concepts feel approachable.
I believe no-one is 100% introvert or extrovert. Everyone has attributes of both. More prominent attributes of yours will make you an introvert or extrovert.
Who said there are 100% of either of the two?
cgh boom
you can think like an extrovert and still be an introvert
I mean, how _could_ someone be "100% introverted" for example? Literally no one thinks in those terms. What would being "100%" introverted even mean? That you walk out the door, your neighbour says hi and you just _die?_ Of course there are different "stages" of introversion and extroversion, because people aren't programmed machines. The key difference is the experience of finding social interaction either fulfilling or draining. That's it. And as an introvert myself, I feel like one of the reasons for it is that I give a lot of attention and thought to every conversation I have, and I also generally don't like getting attention in everyday situations. And because of that, there are only so many conversations I can have before I'm "out of battery". Whereas extroverts seem to often be different in that they enjoy getting attention, and are often less focused in conversations, jumping from one person to the next, maybe even having multiple conversations at a time. At the end of the day, being introverted or extroverted isn't a personality. It's two different ways that the social part of your brain can be hardwired.
There ARE actually a few people who are 100% introvert -- I know of at least 2! And there probably are a few who are 100% extrovert, although I personally don't know of any!
I'm an introvert and my brother is extrovert!!! Best of both worlds for my mom and dad.❤️
Confidence is key. Introverts have quiet confidence and extroverts have loud confidence. It is assumed that all extroverts are confident by default. That's not true. The are lots of extroverts who waffle a lot of nothing at social gatherings. Introverts can have quiet confidence. When this confidence is delivered properly, their logic becomes impactul. Elon Musk always delivers logic and intelligence, and no one notices how shy and introverted he is.
I can totally relate to this discussion about introverts and extroverts. Being an introvert, I used to find social situations draining, but I've learned to use my personality for public speaking and connecting with people. This became much easier after I met my life coach, Lisa Haisha. Lisa helped me find my true self, embrace my unique qualities, and believe in my life's purpose. With Lisa's guidance, I've harnessed my charisma and leadership skills, proving that I can achieve my goals.
Thanks for sharing this content. It's a great reminder of what my life coach has taught me.
0:14 Susan Cain's definition is taken from Carl Jung's definition of intro and extroversion.
I failed at public presentations and just because I seemed nervous and the reason probably I lost a lot of good job opportunities even tho I was qualify. Stay strong my introverts people you will get there eventually.
I can listen to this man whole day... Amazing 😍
I consider myself as an ambivert: depending on what kind of people I'm communicating with, determines will I lose or gain energy. Hanging around with douchebags etc will drain my energy fast but hanging around people with heart and sincerity will give me energy.
In one of his two books on introversion Swedish writer Linus Jonkman makes the very general distinction between introverted and shy in the following way: Let's imagine the average scenario (dinner/party) in which you're about to enter a room to meet and mingle with ~30 people you never met before. A shy person will feel MORE comfortable in the room as time goes by, whereas an introvert will feel LESS comfortable as time goes by. While you're often a bit of both, and you might think it goes "hand in hand", this example shows how the two aspects can work in completely opposite ways.
During one of his talks with Joe Rogan I remember Henry Rollins saying something like: I'd rather be on stage in front of 1000 people than mingle with only a fraction of them. Again, introverted but not necessarily shy as in "don't want any eyes on me in any circumstance". On stage he's in control no matter how big the audience compared to in a mingle setting.
I, a super introverted person, learned about introversion roughly at age 35 (3-4 years ago). Before that I'd best describe myself as "calm". I want all extroverts to have perfect knowledge about introversion, but if it's possible for me to have so little knowledge about something that so strongly applies to myself, I don't expect much in terms of how knowledgeable non-introverts are about introvert traits. I can only welcome every instance where it's brought into light, like this one.
👋 Extrovert here, my best friend is an introvert. That definition is perfect. I work 2 customer service jobs, so I talk alot, but I'm an amazing listener and I have a great memory. I'm going to college for psychology and sexual science. I love this video so much! You sir, have a new subscriber!!!😁
I find it interesting him saying he can't "hold court" but can talk to people individually. I'm an introvert as well, but I'm the exact opposite. I have no problem with public speaking to a group (after years of practice) because the group generally follows your speech and the response is more as a collective. I have real problems speaking to people one-on-one because they expect actual answers to questions and for me to hold up my end of the conversation.
your problem is lack of confidence in what you're talking about - not a problem with groups, because they won't challenge you generally, but in one-on-one situations you are more likely to get into debate - and if you have problem with that - means you're unsure of yourself and your opinions - it has nothing to do with being extra or introvert
I'm totally like you in what you're describing, but I would guess with "hold court" he means being in the center of the conversation in a casual/party setting rather than speaking on stage (which you can prepare for). I myself would think I can give a prepared speech in a captivating way, but I wouldn't pull off being the center of everyone's attention in a dinner/party setting because of my captivating storytelling in a million years even if my life depended on it.
@@borreholic Ohhhhhhhh, that makes a lot more sense, and I totally agree. Thanks for the insight!
Thanks for existing dear Simon 👏🏼
This content is impressive. I once read a book along the same lines that shifted my worldview. "The Art of Saying No: Mastering Boundaries for a Fulfilling Life" by Samuel Dawn
Introversion comes with many great benefits! It is the way you look at your introversion qualities, where you can see the benefits. If you only see your introversion traits as negative, you will never learn how to use its benefits but if you learn how you can work with those traits, it can greatly help your business and personal life!
I think people focus a lot on complementary character traits, as if being being an extrovert makes 90% of being a leader, for example. It seems that things like extremely high competence in a field would not play a role at all in leadership.
Interesting. I am an introvert who enjoys public speaking. However, I cannot focus on the individual, but must focus on the whole audience. I view it like a thing, like a machine with buttons to trigger emotions and thoughts. The buttons are the words, the voice inflections, the body language. By viewing the audience as a system while I explore the inputs, outputs and feedback loop, I can speak to a crowd and enjoy it.
Quick 2 minute motivation 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Awesome! Thank you! I've learned to balance my energy by not giving too much of it away. And sometimes, it varies right? Just listen to your body and take rest and quiet when it suits you. Move forward again to socialise when you feel your cup is full again. But I still have a firm belief and passion in my true North and that's what I'm devoted to.
The definition he just gave is actually quite an interesting one
*Tao te Ching, Chapter 17* (translated by Stephen Mitchell)
When the Master governs, the people
are hardly aware that he exists.
Next best is a leader who is loved.
Next, one who is feared.
The worst is one who is despised.
If you don't trust the people,
you make them untrustworthy.
The Master doesn't talk, he acts.
When his work is done,
the people say, "Amazing: we did it, all by ourselves!"
Maxwell and Sinek in one panel? Must have been a great time.
As I've gotten older, I've realized that this is the truth. Introverts can still be the most popular and well respected people you know. Just because you're an extrovert doesn't mean you're some charismatic person. It's all about confidence. Some of the high-key coolest, and most popular people I know are introverts.
I always thought I was messed up or mentally ill growing up because I never had the same desire to interact with people as much as most of my friends do. I'm glad that the differences between extroverts and introverts are normalized nowadays and openly talked about.
The spending coins analogy for introverts & extroverts is the best description!
I also prefer the word “introspective”.
Prof Cheek - There are 4 shades of introversion:
social, thinking, anxious, and restrained. And many introverts are a mix of all four types, rather than demonstrating one type over the others. STAR Model
I'd say I'm 2/3 thinking and 1/3 restrained!
I want to say " Amen" to that
I love simon! Really admire his thoughts, always have, but here he contradicted himself. Initially he said that introversion and extroversion is all about energy lost or gained due to social interactions.. but then while talking about examples for introvert leaders, he gave examples on the basis of how awkward they are in social settings. Something to think about. Just an observation.
I think Simon is talking w.r.t socially presentable.
i think he meant to give examples based on the popular definition, examples which everyone will accept, not just those with the correct, energy-based, definition of introversion
I don't see the contradiction. Being socially awkward can also come from being drained from social interaction and trying to fit in.
He did contradict himself because he was using their social awkwardness as evidence of their introversion despite at the beginning claiming there is no such link. Most people I know who are socially awkward are introverts, I don’t see anything controversial about that claim. However - and maybe this is the point he is trying to make - that doesn’t mean all introverts are socially awkward and it doesn’t mean all extroverts are socially confident.
As an introvert, I analyse everything before I take action. It's more fun to be right, than be first.
Yes wow 💕. It's about the energy being depleted or replenished. I lose my energy but refuel by being alone. I love it Simon ❤️. 🙏 Give all of it always. Cheers to passion and charisma. 🙏
I'm an INTJ. Some time ago I had to go on weekend course for management training. We got there Friday evening and left Sunday evening. We had to spend all day and night together including all meals. I was absolutely exhausted and ended up with a massive migraine. Couldn't wait to get home
How in the heck did I just learn so much about myself in two minutes and thirty-five seconds?!?!
Wow that was amazing. Basically what Simon sad I did make my own experience in small cases. But I would never find the worlds to formulate it like him. Just brilliant !
Beginning of the video: Socially awkward is not introverted.
End of the video: Look at Richard Branson - introvert! He's really awkward.
lol I was thinking the same thing
Chill. He's using the language of the General Public. That shouldn't be an issue.
he meant not "necessarily"
@@MooneLightEntertainment Chill. it's not an issue, but it cuts directly against the statment he made in the beginning. It's ur loss if u don't see the irony.
Bwhaha. I just wrote the same thing. Hilarious.
This is a mosaic of wisdom. I read a similar book that pieced together equally valuable insights. "The Art of Saying No: Mastering Boundaries for a Fulfilling Life" by Samuel Dawn
People always tell introverts to be more talkative and leave their comfort zones. yet no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.
He's right, I was a socially-awkward extrovert for many years. My social skills have improved now so I'm not socially-awkward (at least not in most situations).
I feel like the true cause of introversion and extroversion is how you are adapted to your environment. If the environment is hostile or you don't fit in, you are going to feel awkward and prolonged awkwardness leads to introversion. Likewise, if you fit in well and feel comfortable, you become open, engaging and confident. It leads to extroversion.
It's just a form of interaction with your environment. Not a personality that is set in stone.
Yup I too believe that
i disagree
I’m pretty sure I inherited my introversion from my dad while my brother is extroverted like our mother. Nature over nurture
Nah i believe its part of personality .u get it from parents .yeah enviroment and people contgibute hugely to this factor but there is nothing wrong with being introvert .its just like a normal personality type .
Actually, scientific studies have shown that it's mostly inherited!
We are dynamic and ever-evolving beings. It's not an absolute trait. Some days we might feel on top of the hill, other days we might want to hide. Both apply to extroverts, introverts and ambiverts.
Know thyself. That's the fastest lane :)
Oh! I need an extravert so I can get the cheese!! that's brilliant! 1:06 min in and I'm good. Thanks!
Jestem singlem jestem ekstrawertykiem,uwielbiam tłumy i domówki w związku introwertykiem, spokój cisza, skupianie się na obowiazkach... Tak wam pomogę trochę w analizie 👍
This made me feel soo goood!
Once you know your type and your limits, then you can sometimes push them and play with those boundaries to learn new skills, not all the time, but doing it occasionally equips you with new skills. Don’t fix yourself permanently in a type and justify avoiding all the things the other side has to offer.
I've always said that I love talking to people individually, for example group chats are boring but chatting with each one of them alone is interesting, I'm an introvert but I didn't know it's an introvert think I thought it's a me thing 🤭
You could be an ambivert which is a mix of the 2.
Please can you invite me to any of your groups
Watching this makes me realise people are not one or the other but can be either depending on the circumstances.
That's why Carl Jung repudiated the term that he coined.