"He hasn't slept in 2 years." Why bother finding a bed to pass time, when you can just stand in the same spot for 12 consecutive hours? Frankly, I find myself wondering if that waiting mechanic is just the DB sleeping in an upright position... 😂
At least in the previous games you could only level up when sleeping(which could only be done with a bed in Oblivion and Morrowind(when inside a city), and required being outside the range of a city or having a home/inn room in Arena and Daggerfall). In Skyrim you can use the leveling system as an extremely powerful healing technique during combat
@@2993LPWhat do you think it is? Only people to achieve it were Tiber Septim and Vivec. One achieved godhood and the other blew molag bal. Have to be autistic to do that.
It took me years to figure out that "the cloud district" was just going up that one flight of stairs at the market.... I spent years thinking it was a far away foreign city.
Even a mostly pacifist Dragonborn would make one very notable exception, so my theory as to his survival is so that the dragonborn slowly ruin his life
Well Nazeem didn't even mention the cloud district once, so maybe this playthroughs Nazeem has a bug where he never says that line and the Dovakin decided to spare him?
@@Plutogoose01 Nah, the Dragonborn saw Nazeem's wife and figured everything from there, why ruin his life when Nazeem's wife is ruining it with her boyfriends. She's for the streets anyways. Who knew the Dragonborn was into MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way). The Dragonborn is probably content just watching the whole debacle with magical popcorn in hand.
I know he's just an NPC, but every time I start a new playthrough I avoid going to whiterun until I have both soul trap and raise corpse. That way I can soul trap him before I kill him (tarnishing his soul and throwing the crystal on a pair of rags that i toss in a lake), and then raise his corpse and kill him again so his family doesn't have a body to grieve.
You forgot the part where he sits perfectly still for 48 hours straight without blinking just so he can sell more of the 250 pounds of random crap he obviously stole and held onto whilst fighting a dragon.
They call me Lydia. I am sworn to carry the Dragonborn's burdens. But who is there to carry mine? This is my tale of the many wondrous, inexplicable, and downright horrifying things that will forever weigh upon my mind.
The dragon priests could be a joy to hear from. Imagine: You take a nap with a hundred of your followers in your cool fortress, wake up ten thousand years later, and you find presumably Miraak's weird cousin is tearing apart or stealing everything/one not nailed down.
@@Umbra_Ursus "I am the last surviving dragon priest. How did I survive? By being the only one smart enough not to open up my invulnerable coffin when HE came knocking."
"For the roads" means provisions you take with when you plan to travel far where one would expect it would be hard to acquire... so you bring your own.. would be more accurate to interpret the meaning as "she's for the sheets"
*In a actual playthrough* Nazeem: Dear dairy for some reason the dragonborn who doesn’t get the cloud district is approaching me with his weapons drawn. For some odd reason I have a sense of deja vu, as if I seen him like th….. *rest of the page is covered in blood*
"The source of his power eludes me, but my leading theiry is that he's using a form of magical autism." Truly Shakespearean words. Get this man into a playwriter's guild, posthaste.
"The source of his power eludes me, but my leading theory is that he's using a form of magical autism." SHIT he's onto me, so much for my *keep Nazeem alive* run.
The Dovakin will never sleep again. Last time he did he was tied up, thrown in the back of a wagon, the people didn't care who he was, but they were going to bend him over and have their way with him. Never again.
I was on the fence about whether the thumbnail was supposed to be Kurt Angle but that slow zoom until every gd pore on Nazeem was visible really cemented it
He isn't writing this in the in-game world, he's writing it from the inside of a Black Soul Gem. Boutta send his ass to the Soul Cairn if that writing sound doesn't stop.
Magical autism. As a member of the autistic community i find this funny and acceptable. I actually laughted out loud while eating, and almost choked. Wouldnt be the weirdest way too die. Cause of death magical autism lol.
5th boyfriend? That’s just because he likes to spend so much time with the Jarl. You know, with his nose in the Jarl’s backside. That’s what I heard, anyway. From his wife. Who is in no way related to Big Mike.
@Roboprogs Yep. They finally "fixed" it. The newest comment sort still seems to work, but gl if you have to sift through thousands of comments to see what people are actually saying.
0:57 "The source of his power eludes me, but my leading theory is that he is using a form of magical autism." Ah, yes, as an autist, I too casually down 25 cheese wheels, 62 baked potatoes, 37 carrots, and a whole loaf of garlic bread while engaged in fisticuffs with the local police department and half the patrons and staff in McDonald's.
Homie didn’t mention the cloud district 1 fuckin time. Hardcore immersion break.
💀💀💀
In game he knows he’s foolish to ask. In real life, he knows not to ask 😌
I'm sure this is due to the Dragonborn literally beating that habit out of him.
Dr. Phoxotic is just jealous that he doesn’t get to the Cloud District very often.
Or does he? Lol
@@johnkilcer What are you saying? Of course he doesn’t.
i heard there is no pussie
@@Augustinuousman understood the assignment @johnkilcer gave em
Oh who am i kidding..
"He hasn't slept in 2 years."
Why bother finding a bed to pass time, when you can just stand in the same spot for 12 consecutive hours? Frankly, I find myself wondering if that waiting mechanic is just the DB sleeping in an upright position... 😂
If you sleep you get a Buff
@@erikburns292unless your a werewolf🥲 i havent slept in my playthrough due to the brotherhood cut scene avoiding it like the plague
@@erikburns292 Maybe he doesn't get rested enough for a buff by sleeping upright
It was implied that waiting in Morrowind was your character sleeping, but that changed in Oblivion and Skyrim.
At least in the previous games you could only level up when sleeping(which could only be done with a bed in Oblivion and Morrowind(when inside a city), and required being outside the range of a city or having a home/inn room in Arena and Daggerfall). In Skyrim you can use the leveling system as an extremely powerful healing technique during combat
"I must go back to the Cloud District now. My jarl needs me."
Note: Nazeem died on the way back to the Cloud District.
"Magical Autism" 😂😂😂😂
😂😂 The most accurate analysis of all time 😂😂
Or CHIM.
Bro had me dead
I am autistic and that only made those words "magical autism" a thousand times funnier for me to hear. 😂😂😂
@@2993LPWhat do you think it is? Only people to achieve it were Tiber Septim and Vivec.
One achieved godhood and the other blew molag bal. Have to be autistic to do that.
It took me years to figure out that "the cloud district" was just going up that one flight of stairs at the market.... I spent years thinking it was a far away foreign city.
And the irony is Nazeem never goes there. He just goes to the market to harass the shopkeepers.
@@drewfromyay882 i guess it turns out nazeem doesnt get to the cloud district very often himself!
The dude at belethors shop also explains the levels of the city to you, you know?
I've seen nazeem eat dinner there.@@drewfromyay882
ikr ? it is like, two meters higher than whiterun's gate ? Bethesda has a way of making towns look small and insignificant
What's even more impressive is Nazeem surviving this long when the dragonborne is down with murder
Even a mostly pacifist Dragonborn would make one very notable exception, so my theory as to his survival is so that the dragonborn slowly ruin his life
Well Nazeem didn't even mention the cloud district once, so maybe this playthroughs Nazeem has a bug where he never says that line and the Dovakin decided to spare him?
@@Plutogoose01 Nah, the Dragonborn saw Nazeem's wife and figured everything from there, why ruin his life when Nazeem's wife is ruining it with her boyfriends. She's for the streets anyways. Who knew the Dragonborn was into MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way). The Dragonborn is probably content just watching the whole debacle with magical popcorn in hand.
I know he's just an NPC, but every time I start a new playthrough I avoid going to whiterun until I have both soul trap and raise corpse. That way I can soul trap him before I kill him (tarnishing his soul and throwing the crystal on a pair of rags that i toss in a lake), and then raise his corpse and kill him again so his family doesn't have a body to grieve.
@@jeffthemagicalpufferfishco9006I haven’t played before why does everyone hate him?
“A magical form of autism!” That one had me dying 😂
Not only does Nazeem know that the Dragonborn never has been at the cloud district, but also how many days he hasn´t slept, what a genious
*English 100*
"I tried getting on his good side by joking about how often I see him around here.
I don't think he found it funny"
THAT WAS AMAZING You turned Nazeem into Will Smith!!
Nazeem: Keep my wife's name out yo fuckin...
Dovakhin: Fus-Ro-Dah!!!!
@@divinecomedian2 haha GOLD
ufff that brun XD
@@Velociraptorhunter He said fus ro dah not yol tuur shul
@@williamorizetti8427 Will wud disegrie ^^
You forgot the part where he sits perfectly still for 48 hours straight without blinking just so he can sell more of the 250 pounds of random crap he obviously stole and held onto whilst fighting a dragon.
There’s a male priest in the temple of kynareth who has a key to Nazeem’s house. Just saying.
why??
edit: Oh...
You know why 😏
Strangely a house that doesn’t exist too which is just kinda weird
It’s the key to… his HEART.
💀
@@MajinObamaOr to bed his wife
Ok I need this to be a series with a new NPC point of view each time
They call me Lydia.
I am sworn to carry the Dragonborn's burdens. But who is there to carry mine? This is my tale of the many wondrous, inexplicable, and downright horrifying things that will forever weigh upon my mind.
The dragon priests could be a joy to hear from. Imagine: You take a nap with a hundred of your followers in your cool fortress, wake up ten thousand years later, and you find presumably Miraak's weird cousin is tearing apart or stealing everything/one not nailed down.
@@Umbra_Ursus "I am the last surviving dragon priest. How did I survive? By being the only one smart enough not to open up my invulnerable coffin when HE came knocking."
@@leyrua
"That Time I Survived The Dragonborns Pillage: How I Did The Unthinkable By Sleeping"
@@leyrua Google "The dragonborn cometh"
dova really said his wife was "for the roads" aka "shes for the streets"
I feel dumb for not picking up on that, and seriously wondered what it meant.😂
We gotta follow Jesus and keep from heartbreak. People gotta turn from sin 🕊️
"For the roads" means provisions you take with when you plan to travel far where one would expect it would be hard to acquire... so you bring your own.. would be more accurate to interpret the meaning as "she's for the sheets"
No. He meant that he brings her on the road, while traveling, to use...@@Hotchpotchsoup
and here I thought dovahkiin was just a staunch libertarian
He accuse the Dragonborn of magical autism, but he may want to take a look in the mirror. That was a shockingly detailed account of the events.😂
Techniqually his power is basically chim².
Skyrim except NPCs realistically react to the player would be an instant game of the decade.
Kudos to you, sir! Your words have struck a chord, ensuring that Nazeem will never again meet his demise at my hand in any future playthrough.
I legit thought this was made by Manslayer before checking who uploaded it
This is up there with the Argonian woman testimony
footage of Nazeem witnessing the event hahaha
When you remember that Nazeem and Zasalamel are voiced by the same person
*In a actual playthrough*
Nazeem: Dear dairy for some reason the dragonborn who doesn’t get the cloud district is approaching me with his weapons drawn. For some odd reason I have a sense of deja vu, as if I seen him like th….. *rest of the page is covered in blood*
While you were visiting the cloud district I honed my 999 iron dagers! 😤
"The source of his power eludes me, but my leading theiry is that he's using a form of magical autism."
Truly Shakespearean words. Get this man into a playwriter's guild, posthaste.
I love Nazeem...
And by that you mean love quicksaving and repetedly killed him
Answer somebodythatyouusedtoknow9046's question Kirokill1...
**loads gun**
...now.
@@Douchey_Elkmenit wasn’t a question. It was Jedi mind control changing their awful opinion.
"Nazeem, im the arch-mage, you dont get to use my school's library."
Nazeem Floyd
Despite seeing all of this he still didn't even consider that the world isn't real, I doubt he'll ever achieve Chim
"The source of his power eludes me, but my leading theory is that he's using a form of magical autism."
SHIT he's onto me, so much for my *keep Nazeem alive* run.
i'm autistic and i found the "magical autism" joke to be hilarious! keep up the good work dude
*When life is so crazy you can't even get angry anymore. Survival itself is all one could ask for at that point.
The Dovakin will never sleep again. Last time he did he was tied up, thrown in the back of a wagon, the people didn't care who he was, but they were going to bend him over and have their way with him.
Never again.
Imagine how scary it would be to someone eat such a flabergasted amount of food whilst fighting multiple gaurds.
I approve of this version of Nazeem, he must be made cannon post haste.
Nazeem narrating from the Jarl’s backside
"magical autism" omg that was so unexpected, as an autistic man myself I find this funny.
I mean considering the shenanigans all of us pull as the dragonborn, magical autism WOULD be more believable from an npc's perspective.
OMGG WHEN HE STARTED YAPPING ABOUT HIS WIFE I DIED
Shor's bones, that voice is so accurate!
Damn, that's just depressing, poor guy. Hope the dragonborn didn't get constipated.
"He hasn't slept in 2 years"
Nah he just doesn't want to do the dark brotherhood quest or get turned into a slave and building Miraak's temple
That... that is how you diss Nazeem. Bless you. This is a rare treat.
A little oversight, the time actually passes when you Fast Travel 😂
Genius
Nah thats dougdoug doing some skyrim challenges seeing he’s built different….
For the roads😂😂
I was on the fence about whether the thumbnail was supposed to be Kurt Angle but that slow zoom until every gd pore on Nazeem was visible really cemented it
Holy hell... we are utterly frightening entity.
I would watch a whole series from the NPC point of view of all my favourite games main characters.
1:32 N for Nazeem or?
the main N word for sure
Ni--
N'wah!
He's a Notary.
@@susah135ni-OOOOOOOOOOOO
Lmfaooo..."he did all this when he hasnt slept in 2 years"
To be fair at least he knows about the other guys.
The writing went from bad to violet dog sniffint in my head in the span of 20s
Bold of you Dr, to think that Nazeem would be alive that far into a playthrough for him to record all of those crimes.
Yes db is an absolute god
Its a nice detail that he says shes for the road as the concept of streets is all bit foreign to the people of skyrim.
Insomnia is one hell of a skooma.
for the roads is crazy
We gotta follow Jesus and turn from sin 🕊️
@@specilegg Слава Богу
If dovahkin is committing mass murders, bold of you to assume Nazeem not going down as the very first victim of first rampage
As a autism person I can say we indeed have magic.
He did it because of the lack of sleep, not despite it.
Brilliant!!! Down right brilliant. I tip my hat to you.
Never thought I'd feel a bit bad for Nazeem but here we are lmao
The crimes listed sounds like the crimes I committed in Skyrim 😂
1000 cheese wheel stare
Player is an eldritch horror in NPC's POV.
You my good man, are a genius
1:05 I wasn't ready for that one
We gotta follow Jesus and turn from sin 🕊️
Damn, sounds like things aren't as good in the Cloud District as a certain someone might have lead us to believe.
If I do have my character wait a whole bunch of hours then if possible I find somewhere for them to sit first.
He isn't writing this in the in-game world, he's writing it from the inside of a Black Soul Gem. Boutta send his ass to the Soul Cairn if that writing sound doesn't stop.
The only version of Nazeem I like
Well looks like i need to learn how to turn my autism magical then.
Does this mean Joevakiin season 2 possibly?
Maybe?
(Pls, doc, I’m dyin’)
"...and a garlic bread"
Lost my shit 😂
A Redguard whose wife has a boyfriend? It really is another planet.
Magical autism. As a member of the autistic community i find this funny and acceptable.
I actually laughted out loud while eating, and almost choked. Wouldnt be the weirdest way too die. Cause of death magical autism lol.
...And a Garlic bread.
That shit's good
But what of the cloud district?
His wife's 5th boyfriend doesn't allow him to go up there anymore
@@DrPhoxotic 💀ur too much lol
5th boyfriend? That’s just because he likes to spend so much time with the Jarl. You know, with his nose in the Jarl’s backside.
That’s what I heard, anyway. From his wife. Who is in no way related to Big Mike.
Hmm. Replies are no longer counted, so you can’t tell how many disappeared. Google gonna Google.
@Roboprogs Yep. They finally "fixed" it. The newest comment sort still seems to work, but gl if you have to sift through thousands of comments to see what people are actually saying.
"...a form of magical autism." Is that a reference to Autism Cat? Like Wilburgur's Autism Cat?
I want more of these LMAO
No mention of the gallons of potions?
0:57 "The source of his power eludes me, but my leading theory is that he is using a form of magical autism."
Ah, yes, as an autist, I too casually down 25 cheese wheels, 62 baked potatoes, 37 carrots, and a whole loaf of garlic bread while engaged in fisticuffs with the local police department and half the patrons and staff in McDonald's.
Bro, this shit is funny.
Bro can you make this a full series 😂
You should do one for a Nord’s reaction to a Khajiit Dragonborn.
The best part is that his name is Dovicin
Idk who this is but here for the support 👍
Bloody funny, never heard the exploits narrated by a bystander before. That was good 😆
This applies to basically any npc in an open world game
Well sir, i havent laughed this hard in a while
Magical autism sounds a lot like nwah magic to me
Vampire mischief..
Dr.Phoxotic is underrated.
She's for the roads 😂
We gotta follow Jesus and turn from sin 🕊️
Tthe AI is so good. Nice dialogue too
You can't fast-travel to the inside of a place, can you? He would've materialized outside it and walked in.
I need a video like this but instead of Nazeem, it's Serana and or Cicero.
The Dragonborn is basically a minor deity as is.
I went to whiterun while a vampire was attacking and i accidentally hit nazeem when fighting him. it was worth the gold