Cooking A High Calorie Meal - Kali Muscle

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  • Опубліковано 28 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 24 тис.

  • @kidtea
    @kidtea 5 років тому +20507

    This guy is what everyone thinks their cellmate will be in prisons.

    • @im_dagreatking1590
      @im_dagreatking1590 5 років тому +507

      This needs more likes lmfao

    • @andrescaiced4695
      @andrescaiced4695 5 років тому +113

      Is that betty white dappin

    • @naisikras777
      @naisikras777 5 років тому +420

      It’s also the designated guy who fucks dude that drops the soap

    • @voted_wotb
      @voted_wotb 5 років тому +70

      It happens

    • @jamesmorris911
      @jamesmorris911 5 років тому +143

      Protein drink farts are the worst

  • @blunty2267
    @blunty2267 3 роки тому +5639

    6 years later this is still fucking gold

  • @peterpiper47
    @peterpiper47 5 років тому +3616

    I was making this at home and some guy broke in, shanked me and stole it.

  • @eddieleejoseph2998
    @eddieleejoseph2998 Рік тому +1069

    The irony of his message then vs now. Today he's eating Almonds and Asparagus😂.

    • @a.harrell9540
      @a.harrell9540 Рік тому +46

      This type of content doesn’t make money on yt now

    • @Justiceserved911
      @Justiceserved911 11 місяців тому +28

      Lool sodium conscious

    • @Degdreams
      @Degdreams 10 місяців тому +61

      He did a whole response video to his own video explaining how he was wrong

    • @RoseBarber-uf4bf
      @RoseBarber-uf4bf 9 місяців тому +32

      Facts he almost died

    • @wakandaisevil
      @wakandaisevil 9 місяців тому +2

      @@RoseBarber-uf4bf from salt or from his peds

  • @kohkantable
    @kohkantable 5 років тому +2656

    This is the longest tutorial to cooking noodles I've ever seen.

  • @DJ-jq8if
    @DJ-jq8if 5 років тому +2000

    "Sir, Alcatraz is closing now and your tour ended 5 hours ago."

  • @anishgajera
    @anishgajera Рік тому +535

    8 years later this video never fails to bring me back to it

    • @CAPNBACK
      @CAPNBACK Рік тому +7

      I’m back too. This is goated sh*t

    • @RamMan2016
      @RamMan2016 Рік тому +3

      same, random thought popped in my head making me think of it. Had to come watch

    • @martincrittenden465
      @martincrittenden465 Рік тому +1

      ​@@RamMan2016
      🤣🤣
      I did aswell bruv, believe it or not.
      Cracks me up in this vid.... .
      First person i ever see do a muscle up.

    • @Iwantthamoney
      @Iwantthamoney 10 місяців тому

      Ong

    • @jacksoncain8276
      @jacksoncain8276 6 місяців тому +2

      It’s crazy Kali looked like this and now he’s a whole new man and even different attitude. Crazy what drugs will do to you

  • @djmsup
    @djmsup 4 роки тому +771

    This is one of the most iconic videos in UA-cam history

  • @Azerrz
    @Azerrz 9 років тому +11593

    Kali, you have the physique of a Street Fighter 4 character forreal XD

    • @kelvinkoh1282
      @kelvinkoh1282 9 років тому +91

      Azerrz i love your videos man

    • @Azerrz
      @Azerrz 9 років тому +273

      Adam Ahmed how the hell was I advertising? lol

    • @wakeup2theNWO
      @wakeup2theNWO 9 років тому +33

      ***** I heard he once fingered a woman, the police are still looking for the other half of her body :)

    • @nextnash14
      @nextnash14 9 років тому +1

      Hey Azzers, I'm subbed to you, fancy seeing you here!

    • @nordwinds2561
      @nordwinds2561 9 років тому +3

      XD

  • @michaelbueno7976
    @michaelbueno7976 7 років тому +6051

    Who's notice the fact that he is really good at math

    • @Dave_UL
      @Dave_UL 7 років тому +534

      BigPapiChulo 84 11×2 22 GRAMS OF PROTEIN... yeah he's good at math 😂😂😂

    • @mackvoffical
      @mackvoffical 7 років тому +11

      aarrhhh.... hahhahaha 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @siZeDcuBe
      @siZeDcuBe 7 років тому +178

      BigPapiChulo 84 That's pre basic math

    • @berhanwar
      @berhanwar 7 років тому +64

      Arithmetic

    • @sylamy7457
      @sylamy7457 7 років тому +115

      BigPapiChulo 84 Lol, anyone can do that, that's called common sense, not being good at math.

  • @bruhmoment8473
    @bruhmoment8473 Рік тому +63

    This is one of the greatest UA-cam videos of all time

  • @MrBraga-yt4qm
    @MrBraga-yt4qm 5 років тому +6549

    This dude look like a gears of war character lmao 😆

    • @bendover5255
      @bendover5255 5 років тому +219

      I'm fuckin dead😄😄 gears of war lookin ass foreal

    • @datboilang8973
      @datboilang8973 5 років тому +28

      😭😭😭😭

    • @prodby668
      @prodby668 5 років тому +37

      Oh my gosh, you are right!

    • @MVkiller456YT
      @MVkiller456YT 5 років тому +15

      Yeah man I agree

    • @exoticfoodreviews1319
      @exoticfoodreviews1319 5 років тому +71

      If gears of war ever make a movie they better cast him

  • @aminmohammadzadeh1937
    @aminmohammadzadeh1937 8 років тому +1975

    The funniest cooking program I've ever seen.

    • @TH3RIPPA
      @TH3RIPPA 8 років тому +3

      yes lol

    • @benjiusofficial
      @benjiusofficial 8 років тому +6

      What about Regular Ordinary Swedish Meal Time

    • @lilboss6262
      @lilboss6262 8 років тому

      I know

    • @Luke-mz2bj
      @Luke-mz2bj 8 років тому

      lmao true

    • @theone1808
      @theone1808 8 років тому +5

      Pasta with mayonnaise? [even with mustard, relish, and honey]
      I've never heard of such of thing until now! lol

  • @salouali6899
    @salouali6899 5 років тому +4370

    PRISON GUARD: Kali it's time to wrap up, its light out.
    KALI: what?
    PRISON GUARD: take your time sir , i apologize

  • @Mazon717
    @Mazon717 Рік тому +618

    I'm glad my boy got his health right but this shit HILARIOUS.😂😂😂

    • @Cosmicmorales
      @Cosmicmorales Рік тому +9

      fr 😭

    • @drugbustin
      @drugbustin Рік тому +6

      What you mean health right ? what happened to him ?

    • @Cosmicmorales
      @Cosmicmorales Рік тому +36

      @@drugbustin he was abusing gear

    • @drugbustin
      @drugbustin Рік тому

      @@Cosmicmorales aah makes sense.

    • @beewalk34
      @beewalk34 Рік тому +4

      ​@@drugbustinHeart attack

  • @joeyboost50
    @joeyboost50 4 роки тому +4368

    Who’s here during Corona 2020

    • @bug10100
      @bug10100 4 роки тому +4

      Joe B 🤩

    • @Randomguy-kn3nv
      @Randomguy-kn3nv 4 роки тому +42

      This self quarantine is prep for prison, we getting SWOLE

    • @oberwri1623
      @oberwri1623 4 роки тому +25

      im eating my almonds and asparagus to stay clean

    • @cooperrichards31
      @cooperrichards31 4 роки тому +13

      In 2021 after corona this will be a gourmet meal

    • @maxjesusmadsen622
      @maxjesusmadsen622 4 роки тому +5

      @@oberwri1623 same bro, in a cut right now hahaha

  • @252tward
    @252tward 5 років тому +901

    I gained 5lbs of muscle by just mixing the ingredients

    • @Cactus2734
      @Cactus2734 5 років тому +40

      I gained 3lbs by just watching

    • @Yahshuaismyeverything
      @Yahshuaismyeverything 5 років тому +2

      Loll aww

    • @jasonferman6867
      @jasonferman6867 5 років тому +18

      I gained 2lbs by just clicking the video.

    • @mynameisjeff3374
      @mynameisjeff3374 5 років тому +19

      I gained 10 pounds by reading this comment raw muscle rawwww

    • @Ingridhubby
      @Ingridhubby 5 років тому +1

      I gained 10 pounds after watching this dude eat

  • @yolodaswagg
    @yolodaswagg 7 років тому +3270

    He's teaching me how to survive in college

  • @hotboiikb
    @hotboiikb 2 роки тому +209

    “B**** n**** u ain’t gone never get swole” 😂😂😂😂😂

    • @kingdavid8009
      @kingdavid8009 6 місяців тому +5

      @@hotboiikb da funniest part 😅😅😅

    • @FatManScoop87
      @FatManScoop87 5 місяців тому +4

      Fav part

    • @killingsley
      @killingsley 5 місяців тому +2

      😀🤣🤣🤣💪🏾💪🏾

    • @ivancorts6966
      @ivancorts6966 3 місяці тому +3

      But...but...chicken breast...and asparragus...

    • @Michael-eh9hy
      @Michael-eh9hy 26 днів тому

      how did i scroll onto this comment exactly when he said that its a 13 mins video

  • @KDH-oc4tx
    @KDH-oc4tx 5 років тому +1073

    “If your a Abercrombie & Fitch model, you don’t need all these calories. Go ahead and eat your almonds and asparagus” lmao
    Classic Kali

    • @hankwilliams8939
      @hankwilliams8939 5 років тому +47

      With a side of celery!😂

    • @hankwilliams8939
      @hankwilliams8939 5 років тому +4

      Mr Holmes I had to watch it again still HILARIOUS, now I know how to get skinny for 2020. HAPPY NEW YEAR BROTHER!!!😂🤣🎆🎇🎉 ASPARAGUS AND ALMONDS!!

    • @mr.100rupees3
      @mr.100rupees3 2 роки тому +1

      *you're

    • @higherliving1579
      @higherliving1579 2 роки тому +3

      BOP BOP

  • @SnakeAholic
    @SnakeAholic 8 років тому +2575

    This guy is so strong he picked up his jail cell and put it in his house.

    • @user-ll2ou6zb9e
      @user-ll2ou6zb9e 8 років тому +44

      SnakeAholic omfg 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I CAN'T 😂😂😂😂

    • @thesongmake9652
      @thesongmake9652 8 років тому +9

      SnakeAholic you are funnier than me I love the way you can tell your stories

    • @djdavisbeatz
      @djdavisbeatz 8 років тому +5

      SnakeAholic 😭😭😭

    • @onaaamreh4015
      @onaaamreh4015 8 років тому +4

      SnakeAholic 😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀💀

    • @RobayatRahman
      @RobayatRahman 8 років тому +1

      SnakeAholic so true

  • @808ghostMiller
    @808ghostMiller 3 роки тому +1697

    “For all you runway models stick to your Almonds and asparagus with a side of celery” 😂😂😂

  • @DairokutenMaoUwU
    @DairokutenMaoUwU 11 місяців тому +82

    Guy went from this to being afraid of drinking water 😂

    • @Mylonelystudio
      @Mylonelystudio 8 місяців тому +4

      Nah brother fruit juice is way more electrical than h2o

    • @lukasp5892
      @lukasp5892 5 місяців тому +6

      @@Mylonelystudioit also has way more sugar lmao

  • @RaulGarcia-zp7nr
    @RaulGarcia-zp7nr 6 років тому +790

    I had a heart attack from just watching, but gained 5 lbs of RAW MUSCLE... RAW MUSCLE

    • @wanda01141
      @wanda01141 6 років тому +3

      Lol

    • @tyrushawk2219
      @tyrushawk2219 6 років тому +15

      How about cooked muscle

    • @danechkadel
      @danechkadel 5 років тому +9

      why is it sounds like Kali's voice in my head?

    • @dpatt7503
      @dpatt7503 5 років тому +5

      You gained 5 lbs of ramen noodles

    • @slimeecksdee8916
      @slimeecksdee8916 5 років тому

      D PATT 😂😂😂🥴💯

  • @cmox1830
    @cmox1830 8 років тому +1734

    i did this but instead of getting muscle i got diabetes

  • @communismwithgiggles2515
    @communismwithgiggles2515 6 років тому +995

    After shooting this video, he slapped on a suit, went to a respectable business meeting, and gave a sales pitch that ended with success.

    • @ReaperKezia
      @ReaperKezia 6 років тому +38

      He leaned on the conference table & it shattered into pieces

    • @peterg.6254
      @peterg.6254 6 років тому +5

      @@hanjunghuk9433 b r u h 😂😂😂

    • @StickyfingerBandits
      @StickyfingerBandits 6 років тому

      😂🤣😂🤣😂

    • @yodev6688
      @yodev6688 6 років тому +1

      Communism With Giggles 😂😂😂

    • @buckybarz3779
      @buckybarz3779 6 років тому

      @Truth Hurts so.... how did you come to that conclusion idiot?

  • @christopherthompson1011
    @christopherthompson1011 2 роки тому +40

    When he called him a sorry bastard I just lost it and cried of laughter 🤣🤣🤣

  • @DeltaSniperZRR
    @DeltaSniperZRR 9 років тому +3520

    At what moment do you add some steroids?

    • @IronMike212
      @IronMike212 9 років тому +59

      Old man, not kid.

    • @doyouevendong3763
      @doyouevendong3763 9 років тому +137

      ***** Oh I think he started adding steroids a long time ago, no doubt. But hey whatever floats his boat.
      What I hate though is people lying about being natural when they are doing steroids. Man I dont care if you do steroids you do you, just be fucking honest about it. Man those people piss me off.
      One thing is for certain; all that muscle is not due to fucking top ramen and tuna...with honey.

    • @LIVITLUVIT
      @LIVITLUVIT 9 років тому +13

      Bahahaha EXACTLY! AT WHAT MOMENT DO YOU AD DIANADOL?

    • @IronMike212
      @IronMike212 9 років тому +26

      Jealousy...It's eating you guys up.

    • @doyouevendong3763
      @doyouevendong3763 9 років тому +70

      IronMike212 I am quite far from jealous, although I gotta say he is quite big and that's good for him, I am not jealous. Never the less anyone who knows how muscle mass works would know that one MUST take steroids to build muscle that size. The body has a limit for how much muscle it can build, due to lack of testosterone (primeraly). So saying that he uses steroids is not saying we are jealous, it is simply saying "You do not get that fucking big from eating fucking topramen and tuna all day"

  • @freshramses
    @freshramses 8 років тому +4123

    Gordon Ramsay should see this

    • @dhruvvprakash
      @dhruvvprakash 8 років тому +188

      This was the guy that taught Gordon how to teach those prisoners to cook

    • @drrckcch0
      @drrckcch0 8 років тому +5

      Dhruv Prakash lmao you dirty for that lmao im done...

    • @drrckcch0
      @drrckcch0 8 років тому +1

      CamaroSS0914 nah man you saw him boil it water first lmao

    • @pileofashes85
      @pileofashes85 8 років тому +84

      "IT'S FUCKIN RAW!"

    • @theanimeboi6633
      @theanimeboi6633 8 років тому +3

      yes

  • @cizia69
    @cizia69 2 роки тому +754

    With all that sodium Kali's corpse will still be edible in a thousand years...

    • @TheStockCarStig
      @TheStockCarStig 2 роки тому +9

      😂

    • @oneilclarke8494
      @oneilclarke8494 2 роки тому +5

      This is funny as hell...🤣

    • @johnadams3538
      @johnadams3538 2 роки тому +8

      At least he won’t have to worry about a fellow inmate killing him for his “spread”.

    • @steve2jz664
      @steve2jz664 2 роки тому

      Edible?? U say it like a mf gana eat his body 🤣😂

    • @ENGRAINING
      @ENGRAINING 2 роки тому +12

      marinated and pickled from the inside out

  • @mrshrek2991
    @mrshrek2991 5 років тому +203

    Who’s still here in 2019

    • @bryantpareja4429
      @bryantpareja4429 5 років тому +1

      John Chan Chann lol my freshmen year of high school tryna to get on the football team but didn’t have a job back then lol

    • @woptown619
      @woptown619 5 років тому

      Your mama be calling the prison

  • @mmatt6689
    @mmatt6689 Рік тому +93

    Bro the growth from this to the watermelon diet is insane keep up the good work fam 💯💯💯

  • @lrodDaDevil
    @lrodDaDevil 5 років тому +1211

    “Just gonna put a lil bit of mayo in there.”
    Pours mustard

    • @leohunt8840
      @leohunt8840 5 років тому +42

      Lol he looked right at it too

    • @lrodDaDevil
      @lrodDaDevil 5 років тому +5

      linda Silvia right😂

    • @Mike-xe3qo
      @Mike-xe3qo 5 років тому +2

      LRODD BeAtZ lmfao my thought exactly

    • @rye4zxbl243
      @rye4zxbl243 5 років тому +2

      RAW MUSCLE

    • @hankwilliams8939
      @hankwilliams8939 5 років тому +1

      Getting real excited about his meal, give me your spread!😂🤣

  • @jesusisking873
    @jesusisking873 8 років тому +712

    Legend has it that after this he's still on the toilet to this day.

  • @AY-mp6nj
    @AY-mp6nj 8 років тому +1099

    I made this and tried to eat..Now, I am writing this comment in a hospital

  • @Qrazey
    @Qrazey 5 місяців тому +14

    This is probably one of my favorite videos on UA-cam

  • @Xendrius
    @Xendrius 3 роки тому +580

    His cell has more security than jefrey eppsteins.

    • @chrisb2743
      @chrisb2743 3 роки тому +4

      And eating the same thing every single day drinking water eating noodles

    • @joshhengst3537
      @joshhengst3537 3 роки тому +5

      He is his own security

    • @52BuickBoi
      @52BuickBoi 3 роки тому +1

      Beyond scared straight has this all the time getting your plate snatched by other prisoners

    • @dannybloom
      @dannybloom 3 роки тому

      Prince Andrew incoming, hook him up Kali. He likes Pizza my guy 😀👍🍻

    • @momowawa447
      @momowawa447 3 роки тому

      Lmao I can't believe you're here

  • @Zealand007
    @Zealand007 5 років тому +488

    No wonder some people starving because this fella eating all the food.

  • @Testlabro
    @Testlabro 3 роки тому +947

    Shit is a classic lmao never gets old I just came back years later to watch it 😭😭

  • @ronnierizek1834
    @ronnierizek1834 2 роки тому +308

    He makes this look so good, and I’ve made it like twice and each time it’s disgusting lol but I keep making it bc he makes it look good, hoping it’ll taste better each time

    • @gamezone047
      @gamezone047 2 роки тому +34

      Dude. I've made the same thing. And it tastes AMAZING

    • @alejandrohurtado1175
      @alejandrohurtado1175 2 роки тому +2

      😂

    • @Mooshoo23
      @Mooshoo23 2 роки тому +36

      Try this recipe.
      1. Hot Cheetos (Xxtra hot preferred)
      2. Chetto puffs (cheesy)
      3. Top ramen packet (Chicken, Shrimp, beef flavor) - I always use chicken.
      4. Slim Jim’s
      5. Whole Kosher pickles
      6. Pork cracklings or Pork skin (spicy flavored)
      Steps:
      Pre: have water boiling before starting
      1. Smash top ramen packet until it’s all broken, open the bag and remove the seasoning.
      2. Add the ramen into an empty bag (make sure there’s no holes) and then pour packet seasoning in it as well.
      3. Crush all chips I listed in ingredients and add that to the bag as well.
      4. Cut up the slim Jim’s into little pieces and the kosher pickles as well then add that to the bag as well.
      5. Add liquid from pickle jar to the bag, just a little.
      6. Mix everything up and then add the boiling or very hot water to the bag. This step is crucial because you can ruin your spread. Add about a half cup first and then start mixing the ingredients. Make sure everything’s wet but not too soaked. Then just keep adding a little bit of water at a time and mix until it’s at a texture you like.
      Hope you like it bro!

    • @gamezone047
      @gamezone047 2 роки тому +18

      @@Mooshoo23 Bro thanks making an effort in writing all this recipe. Problem is that i am not from US. an i am unfamiliar with most of the brands that you listed. I'll probably have to look for alternatives

    • @Tennisboy121292
      @Tennisboy121292 2 роки тому +3

      Wow that made me hungry at 8:33 I. I he morning after binging on coke for 18th so no sleep appreciate that👌🏿

  • @harris2671
    @harris2671 5 років тому +1378

    I was generally scared he was going to jump through the screen and punch me for not bringing his water

  • @T.K.KIRKLAND.
    @T.K.KIRKLAND. 5 років тому +341

    I miss this kali muscle so much.. this is comedy gold

  • @ItsCleto
    @ItsCleto 8 років тому +655

    This dudes shoulder is larger than my fucking ass cheek.

  • @Joe-d3t1t
    @Joe-d3t1t 11 місяців тому +31

    Now he’s eating almonds and asparagus.

  • @FIGSANE
    @FIGSANE 2 роки тому +123

    I gotta say
    This is still one of my favorite Kali Muscle videos. I never saw how my brother did it when he was in prison- so when I watch this video it reminds me of him.
    In addition, seeing the work that Kali Muscle does today reminds me of my brother; they both had a rough life, and today do honest work.
    Seeing your content inspires me, and is also comforting because it lets me believe that what you do or have done past or present was all for the sake of progress.
    Thank You Kali Muscle

    • @user-tr2dh4xx6u
      @user-tr2dh4xx6u 2 роки тому +3

      honest work? HAH

    • @DiddyCanFly
      @DiddyCanFly Рік тому +1

      This is an S Tier video lmao it’s one of the very best videos on UA-cam 😂

  • @xmaxfactorx
    @xmaxfactorx 9 років тому +1725

    How to die by heart failure with Kali Muscle.

    • @TheHoboZzz
      @TheHoboZzz 9 років тому +12

      good one bro! :D

    • @zakaimeghoo-peddie9258
      @zakaimeghoo-peddie9258 9 років тому +48

      +xXP1LLZxX I highly doubt this video is meant to be taken seriously. Do you honestly think that Kali eats like that everyday to maintain his muscle mass.

    • @nabeeld9371
      @nabeeld9371 9 років тому +3

      +Anti 1 u r8

    • @Kee2Oz
      @Kee2Oz 9 років тому +35

      +Sm00th TV The sodium is the killer. Easy to fix, don't throw the packets of seasoning in there.

    • @cybertronx1701
      @cybertronx1701 9 років тому +1

      +Sm00th TV Epic

  • @LuisGarcia-oi4qf
    @LuisGarcia-oi4qf 6 років тому +504

    I don't know why I got this recommended but daamn, it's pure gold lol

  • @quantumbison
    @quantumbison Рік тому +19

    Came in for the watermelons, and stayed for the sodium. Love you, Kali, you are a real G!

  • @Fatlexis
    @Fatlexis 8 років тому +245

    this guy built like you used the buff cheat in gta San Andreas

  • @simonmo5700
    @simonmo5700 3 роки тому +179

    I'm never gonna complain about my wife's cooking ever again

  • @w7p31w92
    @w7p31w92 5 років тому +325

    Me: Kali, how tf you recording in prison bruh??
    Kali: what u say??
    Me: Nothing man, my bad..enjoy your gumbo

  • @dumpsterfire295
    @dumpsterfire295 2 роки тому +102

    Guy's an absolute unit

  • @Zalazaar
    @Zalazaar 6 років тому +746

    This is the longest tutorial on making ramen and opening a tuna can I've ever seen.

  • @ahsanafzal48
    @ahsanafzal48 8 років тому +545

    legend has it he's still preparing that dish till today.

  • @josephalexander4561
    @josephalexander4561 5 років тому +41

    4:17 oh man this is pure gold. Don’t let the size of his arms distract you from his comedic genius and perfect delivery!

  • @megatedassaultituary6783
    @megatedassaultituary6783 2 роки тому +51

    I tried this, my face now looks like his left bicep 💪 High gains baby 👿🔥🍝🍗

  • @DevilsDiscretionAdvised
    @DevilsDiscretionAdvised 4 роки тому +448

    This guy is the hodge twins crazy uncle that got locked up for having too many gains

  • @Officialjester760
    @Officialjester760 5 років тому +455

    “But I appreciate you bringing it sucka”

  • @EvanderSmart
    @EvanderSmart 9 років тому +510

    I gained 3 pounds just watching the video
    If you watch it in slow-mo, you gain 5 pounds!

    • @trunksbrief221
      @trunksbrief221 9 років тому +4

      I am 100% full natty, so I did even gain 30pounds after watching twice

    • @IAMREMNANTJA
      @IAMREMNANTJA 9 років тому +4

      +Evander Smart lol dwl. best comment on this video. i gained 6.5 just watching the mayo spread

    • @SamSung-kx9ws
      @SamSung-kx9ws 9 років тому +2

      +Evander Smart I got to thinking about this meal. Just skip the RAMEN, SKIP THE TUNA, and just eat a whole freaking bottle of MAYO. There's yours 10,000 calorie but chances are you won't live long. LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    • @SpuerEliteEight
      @SpuerEliteEight 9 років тому +1

      +What is Bitcoin? best comment ever

    • @Youtube_Globetrotter
      @Youtube_Globetrotter 9 років тому

      +What is Bitcoin? Ofc you did, but it was all the ice cream you engulfed

  • @newbornassassin7291
    @newbornassassin7291 8 місяців тому +21

    This dude changed so much . Bro lost so much weight and is vegetarian now off the gear etc . Respect.

    • @TheMrOlympia09
      @TheMrOlympia09 8 місяців тому +6

      Respect? lmao

    • @alhmadi999
      @alhmadi999 8 місяців тому +1

      At what cost he almost died

    • @newbornassassin7291
      @newbornassassin7291 8 місяців тому +9

      @@alhmadi999 you live and you learn. At least he made change and didnt continue his ways even after he cheated death. It's always good to see people change for the better

    • @magster41
      @magster41 6 місяців тому +3

      @@newbornassassin7291 his youtube channel is absolutely dead he barely puills 30k views these days

    • @newbornassassin7291
      @newbornassassin7291 6 місяців тому +3

      @@magster41 that's irrelevant 🤣

  • @dayotwa9633
    @dayotwa9633 5 років тому +620

    He look like my CJ in San Andreas

  • @mattparr3038
    @mattparr3038 8 років тому +414

    Hahaha this guy had me laughing from start to end...he's a character

  • @angelajs2871
    @angelajs2871 4 роки тому +451

    Who actually watching this but never gonna make it 😭

    • @DaRealAP99
      @DaRealAP99 4 роки тому +21

      Everyone lol

    • @undeadsatan3317
      @undeadsatan3317 3 роки тому +55

      @@DaRealAP99 y'all never gonna get swole

    • @DaRealAP99
      @DaRealAP99 3 роки тому +7

      @@undeadsatan3317 😂😂😂 hell nah gotta cook 5 packs of noodles just get swole muh fucka

    • @user-zj3mr9zr8n
      @user-zj3mr9zr8n 3 роки тому +3

      Man he didn’t even eat any😭

    • @acerodon
      @acerodon 3 роки тому +9

      I made this a few times. Shit fucking smacks.

  • @arlendpetermalig9192
    @arlendpetermalig9192 2 місяці тому +9

    So whose here on 2024 because of the algorithm?

    • @miguelvega7769
      @miguelvega7769 2 місяці тому

      Man how times have changed 😂😂I still follow and watch him but it’s insane how he’s changed

    • @HighVoltageECL
      @HighVoltageECL 4 дні тому

      @@arlendpetermalig9192 2025

  • @suzukiclaus3028
    @suzukiclaus3028 5 років тому +221

    Recipe
    3 packs of ramen noodles
    Water
    Remove water
    Add mayonnaise mustard and honey
    Can of tuna
    Can of beef
    Them gains

  • @vvsdraco1593
    @vvsdraco1593 5 років тому +530

    This man looks like an upgraded version of bettle juice

  • @richardsonclay9846
    @richardsonclay9846 8 років тому +409

    High blood pressure starter kit; pure sodium.

    • @rodolfosantiago694
      @rodolfosantiago694 8 років тому +14

      for kidneys stone starter kits? wtf

    • @matt0331
      @matt0331 8 років тому +13

      I'm getting heart burn just from watching.

    • @_timespace_
      @_timespace_ 8 років тому +15

      Sodium is not the real problem. it's the lack of potassium in modern diet that is causing high blood pressure. For every sodium intake one should take four potassium. Pre-modern diet had up to 12000 mg of sodium per day while in today's diet people barely get the minimum recommended 4000 mg. magnesium is another mineral that's lacking and is needed to keep normal bp

    • @ronaldwilliams4053
      @ronaldwilliams4053 8 років тому

      Haaaaaaaaaa lol

    • @TH3RIPPA
      @TH3RIPPA 8 років тому

      yes lol

  • @rugpull500
    @rugpull500 2 роки тому +27

    “Well ma’am, he didn’t want to give up 3 top Ramens” 😂😂😂

  • @michaeltlays1293
    @michaeltlays1293 3 роки тому +1645

    My blood pressure went up just knowing how much salt is in that tub 😂

    • @Jcc4151
      @Jcc4151 3 роки тому +90

      Just drink lots of water

    • @GodBody-BodyofGod
      @GodBody-BodyofGod 3 роки тому +172

      Are you trying to get swole or what?

    • @720Mar
      @720Mar 3 роки тому +30

      Calories in calories out

    • @simonacland9028
      @simonacland9028 2 роки тому +2

      That's the best part haha

    • @westonrossnfl
      @westonrossnfl 2 роки тому +6

      Creatine my man! 💪🏽

  • @roomforthefiiixins2491
    @roomforthefiiixins2491 9 років тому +552

    Nigga you better check my resubay.

    • @iTzDark740
      @iTzDark740 9 років тому +1

      roomforthefiiixins Ahahaha!

    • @s2krookie
      @s2krookie 9 років тому

      roomforthefiiixins LMAO.

    • @zarevalenzuela6561
      @zarevalenzuela6561 9 років тому

      Best comment ever haha

    • @iTzDark740
      @iTzDark740 9 років тому +2

      Yo saying that shit out loud has me just as weak LMAOOO XD

    • @jaysmith9997
      @jaysmith9997 9 років тому

      Laughed so hard LMAOOO

  • @ratatwang659
    @ratatwang659 5 років тому +746

    Me: Who Took My Phone?!
    Kali Muscle: Me
    Me: o-oh okay im so sorry to bother you

    • @SkullShadow211
      @SkullShadow211 5 років тому +7

      Lmao😂 i feel you bro

    • @darshanshankar6689
      @darshanshankar6689 5 років тому +3

      ratatwang uwu seems like u got a chicken heart...

    • @Cactus2734
      @Cactus2734 5 років тому +8

      @@darshanshankar6689 nah... He just doesn't wanna die

    • @Rubixmasterr
      @Rubixmasterr 5 років тому +5

      THE TANK why u niggas say that shit but then get ya’ll ass beat

    • @dracofn8599
      @dracofn8599 5 років тому

      ShellCactus2734 I bet kali muscle can’t even fight

  • @ShinkuGouki
    @ShinkuGouki 5 років тому +190

    "Y'all mufuckas ova deah eatin like runway models" 🤣🤣🤣

  • @zlayson
    @zlayson 6 років тому +785

    Kali muscle looks like CJ when I do the buffmeup cheat 😂😂😂

  • @tommiejwilson134
    @tommiejwilson134 5 років тому +362

    "if your a real man you eat 2 packs or more" 🤣🤣

  • @volsdeep9395
    @volsdeep9395 Рік тому +23

    “You better not have spit it in either I can tell!”
    That took me out 😂😂

  • @vipnetworker
    @vipnetworker 3 роки тому +771

    Dear Lord, protect this man’s heart. 🙏🏻

    • @snoozeydream9288
      @snoozeydream9288 3 роки тому +6

      Uncle kali

    • @jakesmith1665
      @jakesmith1665 3 роки тому +3

      What joint you in were your getting real cans of tuna on canteen.just use to seeing bags of it in max

    • @charlessmithjr166
      @charlessmithjr166 3 роки тому +8

      Push ups and a lot of eating gets u swole facts the point is to stay active

    • @leizhang3465
      @leizhang3465 3 роки тому

      Can anyone tell me why heart?Body builder get heart disease?

    • @dan15lop
      @dan15lop 3 роки тому +13

      @@leizhang3465 way too much sodium

  • @kennethmiller523
    @kennethmiller523 8 років тому +79

    I won't to thank you kali I was 140lbs and my doctor said my conditions was really bad and i had a heart problem and type 2 dieabeitys but I went up to 220lbs of muslce by doing 500 push ups a day 234 dips jogging power working jump dropping for 30 mins and follow your eating method then my doctor said your heart is now flushing out the bad blood flow by curring my heart and my dieabeitys went away health then ever thank you kali you save my life love you bro

    • @bestbleach764
      @bestbleach764 8 років тому

      Kenneth Miller Learn how to spell dumbass.Grammer

    • @klewikray602
      @klewikray602 8 років тому +40

      You spelled the word "grammar" incorrectly....

    • @ritualpainter7178
      @ritualpainter7178 8 років тому +1

      Klewik Ray
      That shit funny asf

    • @DayVFX
      @DayVFX 8 років тому +3

      iiSiva Games Learn how to form a correct sentence.

    • @preston9963
      @preston9963 8 років тому

      every one getting roasted

  • @kingofnewyork7891
    @kingofnewyork7891 5 років тому +289

    “How many carbs up in this mothafuka”

  • @Rubenv93tx
    @Rubenv93tx Місяць тому +3

    Saw this video the day of release. 9 years later I still quote some of the things said here, and come back to it from time to time 🎉

  • @SchizimaPlaysGames
    @SchizimaPlaysGames 7 років тому +254

    This man is the king of broscience.

    • @phodacbitch
      @phodacbitch 7 років тому +2

      Dont mess with him he wears calvin climbs

    • @willy_fresh8987
      @willy_fresh8987 7 років тому +2

      He has some knowledge don't get me wrong but Dom Mazzetti is the messiah of bro science

  • @DuaneCarltonMerrittmusic
    @DuaneCarltonMerrittmusic 7 років тому +169

    Why is this so enjoyable to watch lol

    • @sanatsrivastava2814
      @sanatsrivastava2814 6 років тому +2

      ikr?!

    • @zombiewolf3244
      @zombiewolf3244 6 років тому +2

      Same gosh darn question i have but i subed for some reason

    • @teehill8980
      @teehill8980 6 років тому +1

      like, why?!? Watched the entire shit from beginning to end.

  • @HamesAlwaysWins
    @HamesAlwaysWins 6 років тому +2829

    his shoulder is bigger than his head lol

    • @shamoney5970
      @shamoney5970 6 років тому +72

      *G A I N Z*

    • @86hotboi64
      @86hotboi64 6 років тому +4

      ShamoneyXL XD

    • @veezy3933
      @veezy3933 6 років тому +1

      HamesAlwaysWins he slimmed down

    • @ndaxz2120
      @ndaxz2120 6 років тому

      You known me yesterday

    • @MrJreed1000
      @MrJreed1000 6 років тому +8

      thats how men are built.... aren't ur shoulders bigger than your head?

  • @dennisackerman9802
    @dennisackerman9802 28 днів тому +2

    Anyone here in 2024- just refreshing dietary knowledge from the the legend?

  • @braxtonfore4127
    @braxtonfore4127 5 років тому +188

    “How many carbs up in this motherfucka”😂

    • @gwise8095
      @gwise8095 5 років тому +2

      Shit had me buggin too😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @vp5
      @vp5 5 років тому +1

      Made me laugh too

    • @phillipbremer9983
      @phillipbremer9983 5 років тому +1

      😂😂😂

    • @Brad-sc1ml
      @Brad-sc1ml 5 років тому +1

      Hope u get your shh slapped

    • @Squidsuds
      @Squidsuds 5 років тому

      my guy is beefy as hell!!!😬

  • @gloxxxx
    @gloxxxx 6 років тому +826

    Is this how GTA San Andreas looks on PC ?

    • @jasminecadet577
      @jasminecadet577 6 років тому

      Steven Mendoza haha your funny
      1

    • @M0DFATH3R
      @M0DFATH3R 6 років тому

      Steven Mendoza 😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @PowerCube3D
      @PowerCube3D 6 років тому +1

      You sir deserve an oscar

    • @alanv3185
      @alanv3185 6 років тому +1

      Yup with the cheat code to make you look buff

    • @flashfive12
      @flashfive12 6 років тому

      Lmfao

  • @christophersimmons4376
    @christophersimmons4376 Рік тому +10

    Seeing this guy vs who he is now is completely different lol 💪🏻 he’s made big changes ❤

    • @KrishnaSingh-ow1ie
      @KrishnaSingh-ow1ie 9 місяців тому

      Exactly. I have more muscle than this guy right know. That's what happens when your not natural.

  • @fpsSYRIA
    @fpsSYRIA 5 років тому +43

    One of the most iconic videos on UA-cam.

  • @joewall8210
    @joewall8210 6 років тому +651

    He looks like a side character from gears of war

    • @silentjolt3210
      @silentjolt3210 6 років тому +19

      The One you mean cole train from gears of war 3

    • @impulse8416
      @impulse8416 6 років тому +5

      @@silentjolt3210 wooooooo

    • @mcgillisfareed1
      @mcgillisfareed1 6 років тому +2

      The One cooollleee traaiiinnn

    • @punisher9133
      @punisher9133 6 років тому +1

      Gow 3 cole train football player

    • @nonameselected7250
      @nonameselected7250 6 років тому +5

      Hello my fellow gears fans. There's not a lot of us these days.

  • @ThroughDavonsWorld
    @ThroughDavonsWorld 6 років тому +1294

    Anyone here in 2019??

    • @lionmoon1057
      @lionmoon1057 6 років тому +2

      Through Davon’s World eyes here boss man😂😂😂

    • @tiffanyRaen313
      @tiffanyRaen313 6 років тому +3

      I swear I don't know how I got here tho 🤔 .. I was all in low key lol

    • @quannelquan3203
      @quannelquan3203 6 років тому

      Cut it lls

    • @benniemontague6887
      @benniemontague6887 6 років тому

      Maneee he funny asf😂😂😂

    • @kevindagoat2931
      @kevindagoat2931 6 років тому

      Yeah I don't know how I got here either but its a funny video

  • @aboveblessed4101
    @aboveblessed4101 Рік тому +3

    God thank you for sending me Kali Muscle videos. This brother had me rolling 😂😂😂😂 in this video. I ain’t laughed this hard in a minute

  • @ki11ers0da
    @ki11ers0da 6 років тому +498

    "Lemme get some of this mayonnaise"
    *grabs mustard*

  • @freemanlor1118
    @freemanlor1118 5 років тому +288

    This video made me go buy ramen at 2am. My lawd

  • @HANSOME219
    @HANSOME219 2 роки тому +281

    5:50 da funniest part 😭

  • @kemitstar
    @kemitstar 9 місяців тому +9

    All time classic!

  • @MrMorpilo
    @MrMorpilo 7 років тому +657

    When your stone af and you mix everything you got in your fridge 😂

    • @slimpimpin856
      @slimpimpin856 7 років тому +15

      MrMorpilo then it tastes like shit so you throw it away 😂😂

    • @nathan-qcueparsons268
      @nathan-qcueparsons268 7 років тому +15

      Samuel .S Luna hell no when you're high you don't taste anything that will not go to waste😂😂😂😂

    • @windy8872
      @windy8872 7 років тому

      MrMorpilo this is called stoner foods watch on shane dawsons channel there way better than this

    • @isaacsamantha2156
      @isaacsamantha2156 7 років тому +1

      Samuel .S Luna but you rolled up again and got higher so you made another one! 🤣🤣

    • @slimpimpin856
      @slimpimpin856 7 років тому

      Izzy Money 😂😂😂 probably lol

  • @willb9488
    @willb9488 8 років тому +290

    This shit funny af😂😂😂😂

    • @sakibarefin860
      @sakibarefin860 8 років тому

      hmm 😂😂😂

    • @williamwright6127
      @williamwright6127 8 років тому

      WillieeB Tv

    • @Juan-yc6wf
      @Juan-yc6wf 8 років тому +1

      wоrkеd fоr mе! I wоrkеd just likе I thоught it wоuld. It wаs еаsу еnоugh аnd I just wаnt оthеrs tо knоw whеn sоmеthing wоrks. Cheсk оut it оn this blоg twitter.com/58a1aa9d6b4579bed/status/788632172043366400 Cооking А High Cаlоriе Mеeеeаl w Каli Мusсlе

    • @Ghostwatchertim-_-
      @Ghostwatchertim-_- 8 років тому +2

      too damn funny. hahahaha

    • @dingkhamis3997
      @dingkhamis3997 8 років тому

      Little BakPao yggjgfggyyggvgcffgygtyygh

  • @UKGBManny
    @UKGBManny 3 роки тому +382

    Seeing this after his recent heart attack, Legend!! i hope he gets well soon.

  • @Prenihility
    @Prenihility 2 роки тому +11

    My go-to video when eating instant noodles. Never gets old. Especially yelling at the CO.

  • @TEFLONFRMDC
    @TEFLONFRMDC 5 років тому +486

    He can’t even look to the side without moving his whole body 😂

    • @wever5077
      @wever5077 4 роки тому +18

      In prison you must have to face everyone you're talking to. If you turn around or drop something you might have a problem. LOL

    • @koreyondavidson7318
      @koreyondavidson7318 4 роки тому +3

      U just a internet talker

    • @Flyingsandwiches-nr1zc
      @Flyingsandwiches-nr1zc 4 роки тому +1

      😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀💀

  • @pepsicola4718
    @pepsicola4718 8 років тому +2044

    Nah he just using spongebobs anchor arms.