I was almost concerned to notice how long it took most of the audience to get it, then I thought "Eh, it'll mostly be londoners - none of them will have a dog". For anyone who didn't get it: Chocolate is toxic to dogs and will kill them if eaten in large enough quantities.
@@gooscarguitar And one I've seen an awful, awful lot over the years online. I'm at the point where I believe that 99% of Americans just think we say "bullocks".
"I understand that you want to start a Hotel for Dogs, but the building you chose has been condemned for years and may cave in any minute. Plus we still have to arrest you for breaking and entering. Sorry, but like it or not, it's the law".
"Evening Mr Conductor, we've had a few complaints about you from the locals. Apparently, you were seen acting inappropriately with a ten year old girl and was caught saying to her "Lily you need to stoke up the magic in the mountain and make me my sparkle!" Can we talk about this down at the station?"
I'm feeling that winter fuel allowance joke. They sent me a 'cold weather payment' of £10. What's £10 supposed to do? That would last about 1½ days. Thankfully, I build up my credit throughout the year so I have a decent buffer but I'm still about to run out.
Duggee will show you. He has his Procrastination Badge. I said, Duggee will show you. He has his Procrastination Badge. I said, Duggee will show you. He has his Procrastina..... Oh, I see what you're doing there Duggee.
It's a great joke, but how can people think (and it's not the first time I've encountered that opinion) that Pirates of the Caribbean is a kids movie??
*"and... deep-rooted racism."* 👀😂😂
That Scooby one was hilarious
Sorry for being thick, but I didn't get the scooby one....
Chocolate is bad for dogs... allegedly.
John Doe chocolate makes dogs ill
In worst case, dead.
Yeah, the theobromine is deadly to them.
Jeez I wasn't expecting that Scooby Doo one 😂😂
And I thought it couldn't get 'dark' when Frankie Boyle left. . . .
I was almost concerned to notice how long it took most of the audience to get it, then I thought "Eh, it'll mostly be londoners - none of them will have a dog".
For anyone who didn't get it: Chocolate is toxic to dogs and will kill them if eaten in large enough quantities.
Acaster's Circle of Life joke was incredible.
Stu Mackenzie and the exact same joke was made in the reboot lion king film earlier this year 😂
James Acaster is incredible
"Buzz, guess what? I've lined us up a double date with a couple of Andy's Mum's toys. Funnily enough, they're called 'Woody' and 'Buzz' too..."
123numberwang This is hilarious 😂
Ooooooooooooft
Jeez we all know Andy has a single mother no need to rub it in.
U stole that joke
@@dinkyvirgin3656 you can't steal a joke dipshit
"Two things, Potter; I have no idea what spell you are chanting. And two...
That's not a wand."
Hermione: Harry, what's wrong with your broomstick?
Ron: I don't think that's his broomstick.
Harry: puts on invisibility cloaks and runs away
I got one.
"Put your right hand over the broom, and say Up! That's not a broom Harry!"
Pilates of the Caribbean 😂😂😂
Unidentified aircraft spotted and shot down......bullocks it was mary poppins😂😂😂
so deadpan i love it
There goes my childhood, lol
bullocks?
@@simmosa9267 a baffling American misinterpretation of bollocks
@@gooscarguitar And one I've seen an awful, awful lot over the years online. I'm at the point where I believe that 99% of Americans just think we say "bullocks".
“and these are my emotions... sadness, sadness, sadness, sadness and sadness. together, they give me depression”
*"This is PILATES OF THE CARIBBEAN!"*
The Lumirere one killed me! 😂
I find Rhys james face after he gets a laugh really funny he's so happy about it.
A heartbreaking story of overcoming fish cancer. Welcome to Nemo finds Chemo
DespacitoGamer420 finding chemo
''Mr Potter we are moving on with times now. We have swapped your flying broom for a vacuum cleaner''
Michael Langley not funny
Brooms were used to sweep up stuff along time ago until Vacuum cleaners were invented. and witches flew round on them on films.
Michael Langley even less funnier now you've explained your bad joke
It can't get any worse.
oh come on gloomy, I laughed
Oh bollox it was Mary Poppins. This is my favourite one in the video
Nish reminds me of Detective Adrian Pimento from Brooklyn 99
He does remind me of him too!!
Maybe its because he shouts so much
And the hair
Noine noine!
Oh he is not pimento? 😂
The Beauty and the Beast and Mary Poppins ones killed me. Wall-E put the nail in the coffin! hahahahaha
"Bo Peep! What are you doing with Buzz!? Umm... You got a friend in me?"
1:57 I think he was aiming for French but ended up Jamaican.
Haaris Qureshi So,...you mean Haitian?
He was going for German
Mao Shizhong Nope, the guy he was impersonating was portrayed as French in the movie.
LokkerG It's all Greek to me m8.
what was the joke and reference?
Despicable May indeed....
My entry:
"Everything the light touches is our Kingdom...and when I'm gone, my son, you shall inherit North Korea."
😂🤣
What about that shadowy place?
That is South Korea. You must never go there.
0:34 aka Rupert Murdoch
A straight line that ends abruptly......nuff said.
Big oof
Mary Poppins had me crying
Peppa tried nudge George to wake him up only to find she was nudging a ham sandwich
''The evil witch has died. Mrs Thatcher can't hurt us anymore''
Michael Langley Ding dong.
im irish and wholeheartedly laughed my head off
ua-cam.com/video/AlN2ldCdOQ0/v-deo.html
9:14 thru 9:44
Zoe's Frozen joke feels pretty close to home now...
"I understand that you want to start a Hotel for Dogs, but the building you chose has been condemned for years and may cave in any minute. Plus we still have to arrest you for breaking and entering. Sorry, but like it or not, it's the law".
1:33 practically the plot point for CBBC’s Bootleg 🤣
I I would have said :
"Please sir can I have some more "
"Sure bobby but you will have to give me 10 minutes before I can go again"
My entry: 'And here is the murder weapon. Do you recognise this house Miss Dorothy?'
And that glass of water
1:03 So... Fear and Disgust had a... you know what, never mind.
It was Mary poppins 😂😂😂😂
2:22 This is almost, word for word, in The Lion King live action remake
"Evening Mr Conductor, we've had a few complaints about you from the locals. Apparently, you were seen acting inappropriately with a ten year old girl and was caught saying to her "Lily you need to stoke up the magic in the mountain and make me my sparkle!"
Can we talk about this down at the station?"
Bonnie has got some new toys.
Their names are also Woody and Buzz.
Hello? Is this Bob the Builder? Yes I’ve heard you’ll fix anything so I was wondering if you could fix my marriage
It's Pepper pig, with salad and roast potatoes.
Peppa*
''7 children? social services will be taking them off you very soon''.
My entry: 'Here at the Wonka factory, we do not have a glass ceiling... we have a glass elevator instead.'
the scooby one made my dog laugh
01:41 - Great joke!
Doesn't Ed Gamble look like a British Ashton Kutcher? 😂
Justin Belliveau no
Ed's Irish, not British
Zorua ireland is in the british isles, so technically he is
That's a really controversial thing to say, but yeah on some geographical maps Ireland is a part of the British isles
Zorua British isles always includes ireland, you're talking about britain. For some stupid reason they're two completely different things 😂
British comedians are...well, simply the best...especially James
''You call that the ultimate magic trick? Paul Daniels went one better than that and made himself disappear for good''
I love how the laughter suddenly cuts off at 0:13
I'm feeling that winter fuel allowance joke.
They sent me a 'cold weather payment' of £10. What's £10 supposed to do? That would last about 1½ days. Thankfully, I build up my credit throughout the year so I have a decent buffer but I'm still about to run out.
It was a tale as old as time, oh boy time must be the same age as the tale.
Nice
Should’ve been the flying touch man
Pilates of the Caribbean... my creation while working on POTC: On Stranger Tides ... funny how it gets around...
Despicable may 😂
Someone tell her that the topic is "Lines you wouldn't hear in a kid's film" and not "Unlikely synopses for kids films."
It count as they do often that
They killed Mary Poppins.
@0:57, deep-rooted racism, but Frankie Boyle's left the show.
I think that was more about restrictive channel standards than racism.
@@kylestubbs8867 Why are you watching this? Because clearly humour is wasted on you.
@@Timalay As is your time, if you felt obligated to respond.
@@kylestubbs8867 you replied to my comment.
In the new story film we get to see some of Andy’s mums toys
It’s a tale as old as time, but it was 2017 and we beat the Power Rangers in box office ticket sales
And as Tarzan grew into a man, he discovered that ejaculation was difficult when surrounded by gorillas
I would so watch home alone the teenage years. Lol
All of them were great 😊
Didn't Katherine Ryan tell a Pilates of the Caribbean joke a few Series before that one?
0:35 he is cute
Agreed.
What's the name of the lady who did the despicable may joke? I've seen a few clips of her and she gets a laugh from me every time.
Zoe Lyons, I think
Newzoids came up with Despicable May
Or did they get it from here?
@@ToX1cPythonz nah she stole the frozen joke as well
Princess Jasmine Jumped on Aladdins magic carpet....hmmm he hadn't shaved.
Which episode is this???
Charlie in the chocolate factory.
Lovely girl that Charlie.
''Kevin. Michael Jackson will be looking after you for the next weeks. ''Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh''.
Omg hugh 😂😂
''Kevin.Michael Jackson is gonna look after you for the next two weeks. Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!''
Michael Langley he was later found to be smuggling containers of newly devolped street substance commonly known as marmalade into the country
Brit comedians are the best.
Duggee will show you. He has his Procrastination Badge.
I said, Duggee will show you. He has his Procrastination Badge.
I said, Duggee will show you. He has his Procrastina.....
Oh, I see what you're doing there Duggee.
Once upon a time, uh excuse me what time is it?
That Mo Salah bloke is well funny
My entry.
Hermione: Ron I’m leaving you for a man who’s trapped in a body of a Beast.
I want to know what Michael's job before was ?!?
I'll try one:
- Simba, everything the light touches is our kingdom
- Dad, what about the baboon's ass? Have you seen how the light shines off of that?
Oh bollocks it was Mary Poppins
Whats the name of this show?
Does anyone know the name of the ginger one? I think he’s really funny 😂
Lottie Oldham James Acaster
“Harry, You Wanna Come Play Some Quddit... HARRY I TOLD YOU: NOT IN THE LIBRARY!”
Why does Ed say Wall-E so weirdly? 😂
Maddy M because he's British and Southern
Scooby dooby Doo! Where are you? You ate a Hershey's Bar and died now! 😲
What’s the buzzing sound for
Tell the comedians to swap over. "Next!"
Hello boy, you're da came back with the milk.
I don't know what I am doing anymore
1:22
LOLLLLL 1:21
''This the Von Trapp family otherwise known as the Fritzl's''
I'm calling out zoe lyons for blatantly stealing miltons joke from last week about frozen
Oh look you've got two likes, happy now Mr Froome?
The scooby one tho
It's a great joke, but how can people think (and it's not the first time I've encountered that opinion) that Pirates of the Caribbean is a kids movie??
THE SKY PAEDO
ARE THE BEEPS GOOD OR BAD
bri-matics _m they just mean someone else needs to go next so they only have a short amount of time
@@gracereads2917 OK thank you for letting me know
Lines you wouldn't hear in a children's film.
"FUCK!!!"
bro the circle of life one was in the new lion king… so most likely to be in a kids film?
''You welcome to the visit the cave any time but tell your friend he's not because i won't let a lad in''
Who is the guy in the cream shirt ?
I believe you mean Rhys James.
@@diehardrvdfan22 After 1 year ... Thank you 😂
I just got recommended this video.
my entry:
after the prince saved the beautiful princess they broke their mattress, kids, this is why you don't shop at wallmart
Michael the dildo LOL
who's the guy who made the scooby joke
orca Rhys James