Ranking Mario Kart Wii tracks on how safe they are
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- Опубліковано 9 лис 2023
- Mario Kart Wii has a variety of different tracks, and naturally, some of these tracks are far safer than others. In this video, we rank every track in the game based on a few differnt characteristics to decide which ones are the safest and which ones should be avoided.
Edit: Shoutouts to @j0rts for coming up with this idea before me!
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♫ Jingle Bells (Royalty Free) - Kevin MacLeod
♫ Options Menu - Mario Kart DS
♫ DK Summit - Mario Kart Wii
♫ Food Mart - Tomodachi Life
♫ Main Theme - Wii Shop Channel
♫ Petal Meadows - Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
♫ Results (Mario Chase) - Nintendoland
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♫ (Outro Music) Battle Mode - Mario Kart DS
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Thank you all for your support. I really do love and appreciate every single one of you (:
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#wiimmfi #ctgp #mkw - Ігри
Stay away from lava.
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Is there something down here...?
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Say, do I know you? Hmm... might you be one of the super cool subscribers of this channel? Wait... you're not? Well, you should become one! After all, this channel DOES offer a growing library of Mario Kart Wii content!
ua-cam.com/users/beanzard64
Great Idea
yup
Indeed I am a super cool subscriber of this channel
But beanzard, you did included retro tracks! Those are pretty dumb!
lava is tasty
Because of a single stairway, you ranked Daisy Circuit significantly lower than what is essentially storming the beaches of Normandy (Shy Guy Beach) with all the literal bombs being shot at you.
Not just that
You can,well
NOT TAKE THE SHORTCUT
Yeah daisy circuit is like the safest track in the game
But what if you trip on the stairs
Then DON'T take the stairs, they don't actually lead anywhere.
@@PotatoChip4Khow do you trip in a car lol
The chain chomps in Peach Gardens are clearly trained. The ones in Mario Circuit are chained because they will attack anybody near, but these are guard dogs that follow strict paths and will ignore non-threats.
Good point
I think that fact is also cool because it shows that not all "enemies" are inherently bad, let alone evil.
It's just like what we see in the Paper Mario series; they're just a race of species that coincidentally seems to be Bowser's target audience for recruiting.
I agree in a way. Like, the chain chomps in Peach Gardens don't deliberately try and hurt you in the game. Their danger is that _you_ can crash into them.
However, they're still much more difficult to avoid than the ones in Mario Circuit. This means that, practically-speaking, you're more likely to be hurt by them.
Wario's Gold Mine is a very dangerous track. Gold Mines can get really hot, and the bats are dangerous figures. No crowd either
And minecarts everywhere lol
And ramps that send u flying into the air!
The worst part in my opinion is the steep upward and downward slopes, which are disorienting and usually make you fall off of the track. I would put this in second to bottom category.
The wood can be unstable to and collapse
@@sawyerclark2141 At least they follow the track marked for them. Which, however, lacks guard rails and crosses the road multiple times.
The cataquacks on peach beach would be killing machines they launch you 20 feet in the air endlessly and are decently fast too
Unless you're online in which case they're just minding their own business.
cataquack: "!"
me: "oh HECK no!" *drives off the course just to avoid a weird duck*
@@SleepyDergI was legitimately terrified of them as a kid. Weird ass looking ducks that chase you just freaked me out lmao
Not to mention they can do that to CARS. Imagine what they could do to some random guy
@@leafly7917REAL
if daisy’s circuit was considered that dangerous, coconut mall should’e been *so* much higher 😭 the height you fall from in daisy’s circuit is SO MUCH lower compared to where you’re launching out of the mall 😭😭
Tru
coconut mall is special in that the most dangerous thing in the track is YOU, you are the hazard to everyone by racing around in a mall and throwing shells and stuff
Exactly, coconut mall does have a bottom path but you could also not take the stairs shortcut in DC
I was thinking that too 😭
I’m honestly surprised Grumble Volcano didn’t go straight to you will die. The place is literally falling apart and sinking into the lava. Spend 5 minutes there and most of the track would probably be long gone.
not to mention you GO INTO THE ACTIVE VOLCANO
your skin would be literally fucking melting
like not even exaggerating
And if you're a bad driver like me, you spend way longer than two minutes and fifteen seconds in there
moonview has crazy drivers and literal bomb cars, how could that possibly be in the same tier as a little village with no cars and the only dangerous thing being a 1 floor drop
also it was very hard to figure out which side of the list meant safer vs more dangerous, like on top safer was on the left but near the bottom more dangerous was on the left and you seemed to vary that seemingly randomly each tier
such a hater😭
I would not put Daisy Circuit under “Dangerous”. At worst, it belongs under “Take Caution” because of the amount of cones there are.
Even though it’s harder than Mario Circuit, I still think Daisy Circuit is safer.
daisy circuit should 100% be in completely safe
Good point, the cones weren't considered. Put it in Maple Treeway tier!
Daisy Circuit: “oh god that’s really dangerous”
Ghost Vally 2: “it’s not very dangerous so let’s go with ‘take caution’”
THERE ARE PRACTICALLY NO BARRIERS ANYWHERE
Thank you so much for this advice. Was planning on taking a trip to bowser’s castle this weekend, but you have shown me the dangers I could face 😮💨
Glad I could help!
@@beanzard64 Plus bowser is a dictator lusting after a human woman so just like any communist country imagine a fire breathing reptile immediately murdering you just for saying the wrong thing or like most dumbasses being sentenced for something you never did to begin with.
Ikr? I was gonna go to rainbow road but now I know that if I go to space I will die immediately
Coconut Mall literally has a giant drop where if you fall you’re falling onto CONCRETE.
I would rank Dry Dry Ruins considerably lower, owing to the fact that the interior of the ruins is actively collapsing and filling up with sand while the race is happening.
Here beaches with animals capable of launching your car dozens of meters in the air or terrorist throwing bombs at you, a desert with gigant stones falling on your way and a literally haunted mansion with walls falling into the void are all considered safer than your average city drive like Daisy Circuit
Mkwii custom tracks need a new tier below “You will die”
Agreed
"Welcome to hell"
melting magma melee
"Dead on arrival" rainbow road would fit there because of the whole space thing
fr we need "designed only for superhumans" tier
i like that you're kind of evaluating these as picnic locations, like about how much grass there is and stuff. 10/10 I love it unironically
Glad you liked it!
23:10 “It’s the safest one that will kill you”
What a fantastic sentence.
You really underestimated the danger of the boost panels. Those things are gonna send you flying, lots of extra danger
Just don't use them.
@@sonicwaveinfinitymiddwelle8555 don’t think that’s gonna happen when you get hit by a shell and spin out of control, then killed by the whiplash
*That one mario kart ad where a toad accidentally goes on one and goes flying*
Did you forget about the mobile bombs capable of leveling a small house on moonview highway.
Biologically speaking, the only characters in Mario Kart (in general BTW, not just Wii) that can survive in space are Dry Bones, King Boo, Rosalina, and Dry Bowser. I guess you could also argue that Rob the Robot counts, but I wouldn't.
Can't plants also survive in space?
@@gameyfirebro9645 IDK, but if they can, I guess that includes Petey
Remember that lack of oxygen is not the only thing to worry about. Rob probably isn't built for extreme conditions unless you consider Smash Bros.
@@memelurd7341 I know that
@carterjames8829 after all in Mario Sunshine he was created by Bowser Jr using the magic paintbrush.
The music choices throughout were impeccable. Was not expecting to be chilling to the Tomodachi Life shop tune during a discussion about mario characters actually dying
actually, moo moo meadows is the most dangerous track in the entire series
Agreed
Those cows
Not the most dangerous, but significantly more dangerous than other tracks
When he was talking about the daisy circuit shortcut being a “horrible prank” I thought he was talking about the jump scare 💀
Wow somebody else remembers it
@@jelly.56what are you guys talking about???
@@sanicboi9187wayyyyy back when there was an old jumpscare video of someone uploading this supposedly crazy Daisy Circuit ultra shortcut, and then like about 30-40 seconds into the video you get jumpscared by the girl from the Exorcist
Look up “Daisy Circuit Ultra Shortcut Glitch” it’ll be the old one by davidfilscool, the jumpscare is a little over halfway in (for the record no I don’t know this all in my head I went and searched it up myself and came back to edit this comment to let you know where to go lol)
@@sanicboi9187There was a really famous video back in the days where someone said he would show a new shortcut on Daisy Circuit, but instead it was a big jumpscare.
I guess this video traumatised a lot of kids 😂
please dont remind me of that screamer
Daisy Circuit should be completely safe, in my opinion. Even the stair section does not seem too bad
You forget one things about rainbow road.
As it is in space since there isnt any pressure so every bodyfluid you have will boil and evaporate nearly instantanously.
Which will cause one of the most painfull death possible in about 15 seconds.
Thats how you actually die in space
Also in N64 bowser castle there is actually plant in the castle garden so its probably not that deadly.
You can actually be near lava unprotected, the real issue with lava and volcano are the toxic gas that will kill you extremly fast.
Thats why the raging volcano map is actually as deadly as rainbow road, you will end up as a pompei mummy, while I think N64 bowser castle has only security issue. (There is plant so no toxic gas)
It seems like Ghost Valley is a boardwalk, so it’s assumed that there is water a good bit below the track. Even though there is water, it’s very likely to be contaminated, so it’s better to put it in “Dangerous.”
Dry Dry Ruins should be a bit lower than “Take Caution”. The amount of falling sand inside the temple in each lap increases, which implies that someone could suffocate in there.
bro compared a nice ride through a lovely safe old town at evening to a literal highway at night with cliffs, dangerous driving and freakin BOMB CARTS
I feel like the colors of the tier list should be swapped. Typically associations are red with danger, orange with warning, yellow with caution, green as good to go, and blue as peaceful and calm. Not like it kills the video or anything though.
Technically, SNES Mario circuit 3 should be in the You Will Die tier. If you look in the background, the planet this course is on has three suns.
I hope you do this for every Mario Kart game, I'd like to see videos like that
Thanks for letting me know! I’ll consider it
There’s one for Mario Kart 8, but it’s done from the perspective of a safety inspector.
ua-cam.com/video/apMP41BH5ns/v-deo.html
moo moo meadows is a sleeper dangerous track, those fence posts are pretty sharp
I completely forgot about the splinter risk
lol
Over all it's pretty safe if the cows don't become idiots
Over all it's pretty safe if the cows don't become idiots
Just gonna say: you can easily die if you slam your car into a deer.
I can only imagine how worse hitting a cow is, and considering the cows wander the stage on their own accord, it adds this element of RNG that makes things much more dangerous than a normal racetrack. Overall, this should be in Take Caution tier, this track is easily more dangerous than Luigi Circuit.
Ah yeah, irl rng
i remember seeing a portal osha violations video and i think mario kart would be a fun series to breakdown. how many osha violations each track has
Oh yeah I saw that, that video was nuts
14:30 about this comment: You'd actually die by burning from friction when you hit the atmosphere. Also, water is one of the worst things to fall into from great heights, it acts solid if you hit it fast enough because it doesn't compress, and if you take any injury from the fall, you will likely drown, not that taking injuries on land puts you in a good spot if you're outside a city, but you have a bit of a better chance of finding or being found by someone before you die.
None of that would matter.....because in all honesty you'll just incinerate on re-entry, so I doubt there will be ANY piece of you left to even hit the ground with....much less find....
I do wonder how daisy circuit is less safe than a jungle
Moonview should have been rated much more dangerous than it was. There are LITERAL BOMBS driving around. Also, as a highway, sharp turns with no guardrail is a huge no-no
20:48 Oh god, it was so funny that he accidentally put Bowser Castle in "Completely safe", but even safer that Moo Moo meadows😂
I think the chain chomps should be compared to a dog, since that's what they were designed after. And since in super mario bros 3, the chainchomps can leave the posts (their origin game btw), after enough time, I'd say dangerous.
pokey's are just cacti, so they're safe but painful
Also in link’s awakening chainchomps are called bowwows, and bowwow is a sound dogs make
Speaking of SMB3, Desert Hill 100% goes in you will die bc Angry Sun.
But the shortcut is optional is Daisy circut. I see where you're coming from, but i would argue the danger of hitting a cow is much greater than going out of your way to hit a boost pad
🪦 here lies Toad, he fell all the way out the video to find his resting place down here
He was a loving mushroom, but also very loud at times
Rest in peace, little mushroom
14:38 The way I see it, there could possibly oxygen in that specific location of space, but it’s still extremely dangerous due to the falling risk, even into other sections of the platforms.
Just remember to bring your bunker with you if there's going to be a race because for some reason they just hand the racers live bombs, even in shopping malls.
If you were in grumble volcano that close to lave your flesh would melt and if it didn't your vehicle would just explode
In daisy circuit, you’ve also gotta keep in mind that a regular person might try to take a stroll on the sidewalk and get hit by a driver. I think that knocks it down a few because of that false sense of security.
You also gotta consider that Bowser’s Castle is straight up designed for you to die. Bowser doesn’t want Mario in his castle, so he has to make as much precautions as possible to make sure he doesn’t get in, and never tries to get in again.
Solution for all the tracks that have water to not drown: if you are a kid like at least 5-9 years old wear a lifejacket if you are 10-♾️ years old use a floatie
Thank you for helping me decide which place to go to for my vacation. Grumble Volcano sounds like an excellent place to stay!
11:55 It’s not safer than Daisy Circuit. You can absolutely just not take the shortcut in DC if you don’t want to - but you cannot avoid having to go through the falling pillars in Dry Dry Ruins. Plus, you’d more likely survive the fall in DC than being mortally crushed by a pillar in DDR.
Same thing with Yoshi Falls (16:13). You argued one could just take the wooden bridge path instead of the waterfall, so why not apply the same logic to Daisy Circuit (especially when it’s just a shortcut - aka not part of the main road like in Yoshi Falls)?
Honestly, there were multiple points throughout the video where your logic didn’t seem to be the best. I still really enjoyed it, though.
Glad you enjoyed it anyways!
I would love to see this type of tier list for Mario Kart 8 tracks
I would put coconut mall in extreme lack of safety precautions because well I don't see any security there so who is helping you if you get robbed
Moo Moo Meadows is so dangerous man. Not only are you gonna go flying due to a literal cow hitting you car, but youre probably gonna die depending on how fast you are going and your lack of any safety equipment like helmets or seatbelts.
Also for the Chain Chomps, imagine of a 10ft tall rabid dog made of iron or some shit like that is lunging toward you
Personally I'd equate a chain chomp to an extremely angry bear in terms of danger. In both cases, you f*cking die if it gets to you.
@utubeiskaren7796 I mean I guess since bears are related to dogs, but it also depends on what you did to the bear and also what kind. But for the most part you are right
Mental how Coconut Mall has a bigger fall than Daisy Circuit but remains in mostly safe
Please make on for DS and 8. This is a super fun concept.
Do not worry i will do ds
Maybe
The highway with bomb cars, beach with pirates, falling desert ruins, and mall with huge drop to concrete are ranked too high imo
So you are trying to say I should visit Ghost Valley 2 before I visit places like Peach Gardens or Daisy Circuit? I think not.
That’s exactly what I’m saying.
You should visit rainbow road as well imo
Thank you!
I was thinking of moving moonview highway but now i know not to try.
Make a sequel where you rank maps based on how easy it is to get out of bounds and how broken the boundaries are
Maybe after visiting Grumble Volcano you could go to the gift shop, assuming you survived and escaped with no serious injuries, and buy a t-shirt that says "I Survived Grumble Volcano"
I think if you fall off on Ghost Valley you will die. I would switch that with Daisy Circuit. You don't have to take that shortcut.
I wish you would've showed more of the maps while you explained your reasoning. It's infinitely better than just staring at a ranking list.
CONGRATULATIONS ON 10K 🎉🎉🎉🎉 🎉
hi beanzard,just want to let u know that u r one of my favorite mario kart wii youtubers,as you do really anything in this game,and ur video quality is fabulous,and you talk really calmly,my hands click faster than light when u upload by the way,your amazing ❤❤❤
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it ❤
I think peach gardens should be much higher. peach gardens has the big house you can go to and even if you cant access, there is a full on safe section before you finish a lap. There is probably something there because its opened in mario kart 8.
And Grumble Volcano will keep collapsing until you go down with it.
Thanks, bean!
I'll take more caution next time i play Mario Kart Wii so my Character don't has to go to the hospital or even worse, die
8:11 "You fall a great distance because you walked up some stairs"
Now why did I think about OMORI at this quote?
Don't worry ! Lakitu will be always here for you 👍.
I know they're unfinished but holy moly these are amazing!
Fun facts, freezing is not actually instant death. Nurses have a saying - you’re not dead til you’re warm and dead. The cold can do a lot to prevent you from dying, and in certain cases (like getting wasted while the titanic is sinking) it’s possible to prevent your blood from freezing when hanging around in ice water. There will probably be damage to extremities but given how folks are getting flash frozen when dropped into out of bounds areas, the core temperatures aren’t taking immediately. (To clarify, I’m not saying they’ll be fine obviously but they may not be dead yet)
I found it funny that 'Completly Safe' is red and 'You will DIE' is blue.
I feel like I should mention that I've seen this video idea only one other time from a UA-camr named J0rts. Now it isn't like you can't do this video just because it's similar, but I feel like maybe you should give the guy a little...
Oh wait you did in the description. Props to you then! Good video!
0:34 I've seen a very interesting video from 1970 something about a race in South Africa I don't think I wanna ever think of again
0:06 Not to a location in Wii, but one in 8 (London).
This guy deserves more subscribers ngl. I loved this video, good job. :)
Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it
how is daisy circuit dangerous
Moonview Highway has literall bombs on wheels that explode on the slightest impact. How is that not at the minimum very very dangerous.
The thing with Peach Gardens is that the chain chomps are not in a restricted area, they free roam. so if one finds you, its over
I think gba bowser castle is in the guaranteed death category with rainbow road, the metal on the lava bridge is red because of the sheer atmospheric temperature that close to an ocean of lava
I would put moonview highway in the "extreme lack of safety precautions" tier or the "you will die" tier since there are literally bomb cars driving on the road and just touching them ever so slighty is enough to make it an explode
No toads were hurt during the making of this video
i would live in one of that dc houses if its the 8 deluxe version it looks so comfy
29:57 funny idea. What if your cake is that track and the candle is the grass?
1:35 : "It's gonna be the bottom of completely safe" 17:24 : puts mario raceway at the bottom of completely safe
I love the great content in beanzard videos
Thank you!
This is a great video, although next time I would put the most dangerous ones at the top of the tier list instead of the bottom, to make it fit better with other UA-cam videos that do similar things.
So rank them by danger instead of safety
Thanks! If I ever do another video like this, I'll consider that
I clicked on this thinking it would be a joke video like the Smash Bros OSHA violation video I've seen around but it's completely serious and rationally put together and I am absolutely all here for it, awesome video
Thanks haha
Awesome vid, love ur mario kart videos! Could you do this for mk8 deluxe?
Thank you! Maybe one day
Awesome work man your amazing. And your work is truly inspiring.
Thank you dude!
Very good tier list. Though I'd put N64 Bowser's Castle in its own tier based on what you said. Something like "Minimal chance of survival"
Fun video, only thing I kinda got caught up on was Daisy Circuit being ranked as safe as it was. My uncle got tboned in that double roundabout and ended up pushing up daisies so to speak. Gets a "you will die" from me, but to each their own.
Sorry to hear that.
tbh it would be cool if you did this for the other games
Can't wait for my stay at rainbow road!
What! moon view highway has mad driving bombs
Woah, a road in space and a castle on fire is unsafe?
a accurate tier list no surprise but great stuff bean
Thank you!
Did you forget that Coconut Mall has its drivers driving off of an escalator, driving up an escalator, and jumping off a three story mall
Sounds safe to me!
Not the 50ft jump off the second story of coconut mall bro would die instantly
8:55 "Peeing in the water" wait what??
I have many problems with this:
1. Yoshi falls is an extremely fall drop into a hole that has no way out and no spectaters, and this should be in dangerous.
2. Peach gardens, just due to the chain chomps not being stuck to one spot i think it should be bumped into dangerous
3. The falling pillars that will kill you in dry dry ruins should place it in dangerous
4. The staircase in daisy circut should not be enough to go into dangerous due to the crowd who will immediately aid you
5. Wario's goldmine should be in very very dangerous for reasons others have outlined
6. I will not tolerate the treatment of mushroom ridge, no one is forcing you to jump over the pit, it should be placed into dangerous due to the ease with which you could fall though.
Fun video idea though good job everything else is great
the "extreme lack of saftey precautions" tier is an outlier tier-
it should be changed, since not only could it incorporate the tier below it, it could also include tiers above it too.