What 3 WORDS taught me about forgiveness...
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- Опубліковано 15 вер 2024
- Everyone knows that forgiveness is important, and I always thought the best reason for forgiving others is because we all will one day need forgiveness ourselves. Treat others how you'd like to be treated and all that.
BUT this one experience led me to understand the deeper importance behind forgiveness and completely change how I viewed a situation I wasn't very happy about it.
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What are your thoughts on forgiveness? Ever had an experience that gave you a deeper understanding of it? If you're comfortable with it, leave a comment sharing it. Would love to hear it!
Great reflection, thank you for sharing. It's remarkable how easy we forget about the impermanence of everything rooted in the material world, including our lives. I was taught by the experiences of my life that we should be kind to each other, since we don't know when any of us will depart this planet. There are many reasons, but that one is particularly undeniable. I remind myself of this often. I think the proper attitude is one of gratitude and non-attachment. Very few of us have that spontaneously in this chaotic world but luckily it can be cultivated, like any other quality of the mind. I've noticed the impact of meditation on my own life. Have a great week!
"Gratitude and non-attachment" - So absolutely true. I see that perspective throughout the philosophies in Stoicism and Buddhism and even people who have non-formal belief structures yet find themselves at peace more often than not. They somehow (through nature or nurture or both) find themselves often in a state of gratitude and non-attachment as a default state of being and it makes a world of difference.
Thanks for dropping in and sharing Jaime!
Thanks for sharing… I agree a part of forgiveness is empathy, understanding that you too might have behaved that way or understanding that most things are within human nature and you’re not exempt from it
Exactly, Empathy! There is a humility that comes from genuine forgiveness and I've found it to be challenging at times, but always feels worth it in the end.
Yea man I’ve had close friends go off on me because they were dealing with a big crisis in life .I forgave them but I also went through similar or worst and didn’t lose it,though I’m far from perfect.
Everyone deals with challenges differently.At the same time forgive but don’t forget.
One thing I've come to learn is that it's unreasonable for us to try to compare struggles. Something seemingly easy to overcome and manage for one person may be significantly more challenging for another based on where there life experience has taken them.
So I try to check myself when I feel myself judging by thinking "I've had to deal with worse" because it's subjective and complex.
I agree, forgive but don't lose sight of that experience and what was learned from it.
Thanks for sharing Amado!
'That' noun . . . *forgiveness* . . . an anchor in our very lives now isn't it?!
A emotional intelligence marker possibly?!
That was quite the experience to migrate Adrian, I understand even more so
now as to why it look you even longer to start sharing once again. Be well.
Ive got a lot more work to do when it comes to emotional intelligence but it's a start!
Yes it made the transitional period a bit more rushed and complicated then we'd have liked but I'm loving the outcome. So I suppose it can be viewed as a "purposeful disappointment" lol
Thank you and have yourself a great week!
Me, personally, I don’t believe in free will, and I think that helps me so much with forgiveness. Instead of trying to assign blame or dismiss someone as stupid, I do my best to think about what stress and what pains people might’ve gone through to behave the ways that they do, to understand who they are and why they are behaving as they do.
It seems like more often than not, people “act out” as a result of some trauma or suffering that they haven’t been fortunate enough to disclose or address, it’s like a kind of contagion, where when you’re having a bad time, you’re more likely to project your suffering outwards and give others a bad time inadvertently. I think this is like some reflex that humans have evolved that is very primal for survival. When we feel threatened or attacked by something, even sometimes inanimate objects or events, like if wind blows open a door and it hits us, we tend to quickly attack the, “Stupid door!” or whatever is most immediately in front of us (like you were to him, it sounds like), and end up feeling better as our brain produces chemicals that soothe us afterwards.
We often dismiss how much sharing our painful experiences and crying can help us when it comes to soothing our pain, instead of doing that, the other option we seek is that quick, lashing out response, as it can reduce pain for a short while, but that often makes things worse for everyone. I think we might’ve evolved this instinct to survive when we are being attacked, as lashing out would make us more likely to kill whatever animal was attacking us, but nowadays, because we are so seldom being physically attacked, it’s more like an unhelpful relic of the past, at least I think that’s what’s often going on in our brains when we behave these ways.
It sounds like you did a good job and the story you shared here makes me think that we have a long way to go as a society to encourage healthier coping strategies to deal with our suffering. In the past, I think religion had a much larger role to play here (often with mixed results as science was seldom applied), but instead of relying specifically on the traditions of the past, now we need to take a more proactive stance in our culture to foster environments where people feel safer to exchange their stories of their trials and tribulations. That way people don’t look to drugs or lashing out to cope.
Sorry that was so long, but a response to something like this had to be, LOL!
Reading that felt as if I was reading my own thoughts/comment that I forgot I wrote haha Well said!
I also often consider things from an evolutionary point of view, and I think you're right. We haven’t, as human beings, had very long to adapt to much of the normalcies of todays society, so time will tell what that leads to in our society and individuals, as well as the best way to respond to those outcomes. This person in particular spent a lot of time alone, had what seemed like very little interests or outlets for mental stimulation and joy, and little social interaction (also wasn’t a huge internet person I can imagine how burnt out he must have been with existence.
Thanks for sharing man, it was a pleasure to read!
@@AdrianLoganLive Thank you for sharing your experience and reading mine! Indeed, I can relate to social isolation making you feel irritable and act out negatively, that almost certainly has a big role to play, and it’s really good to see that you were able to discover this through your former landlord and pick up on that. Good on you, and I hope that both of you are able to find more peace and comfort in the lives that you two have left.
For me, learning to accept that free will doesn’t exist and accepting that people are not inherently good, that good comes about through good circumstances and us learning how to create systems that bring about good in one another (developing systems of compassion, as I call it), has helped me a lot lately. It is indeed a challenge in this busy world that we inhabit, I understand that we’re all going to make mistakes and behave in ways that don’t make sense at first, but it’s always a rewarding challenge to see through, so that we can make a better world for ourselves and for others nonetheless, even if it takes time, and it certainly will!
Stay safe and keep warm you guys! ❤️
Preach! Thank you. Have a great week
@@AdrianLoganLive Thank you, you too!
You’re so right
Seems like big lessons sometimes come from the most unfortunate of circumstances. Life is interesting that way! Thanks for watching Ciara
There is a great song by Trevor Hall called Forgive. During an ayahuasca ceremony, I was told to forgive. It’s not to forget what the other person said or did, but to let go of the burden in your heart. I’ve gotten better at it, but it takes time sometimes to understand.
I'll look it up and check it out! I really want to share in an ayahuasca ceremony myself. I just haven't had the right opportunity yet but I look forward to the experience, as challenging as I know it will be.
Letting go of the burden is a great way of putting it. Good for you!
Soul Quest in Orlando is the place to go if you want to do it in the United States. A place of love.@@AdrianLoganLive
Thanks for mentioning that. I'll keep it in mind. Appreciate it!
Very sorry you had to deal with that man. I think some people definition of forgiveness is going back to the way things were as if nothing happened. And if you can't do that, that means that you don't forgive them. I personally don't think that is forgiveness. Not to be mean, but I would be fine with never talking to some people again. I mean I forgive them for me in my mind but I don't want to interact with them because I know who they are now and how they feel about me. I low key feel that apologizes are a little over-rated. Would they have apologized had things gone their way? In my cases, I don't think so. In my mind, its best to not interact with them again.
I'm with you. I don't believe in the "forgiveness means things go back to normal" philosophy.
In fact I believe forgiveness has very little to do with the other person, and is more about the personal growth for the one doing the forgiving.
I haven't communicated with my (now old) landlord much beyond that. And have no desire to, and that's fine. Forgiveness doesn't take away the consequences of previous words or actions, it just changes your relationship with how we view those consequences. In my case...feeling I need to move out and seperate myself from him being in my environment.
And looking back I'm super grateful it worked out the way it has.
Thanks for sharing! As always, I appreciate it
Feel the same sad. The global is in madness ,
Challenging times for sure. Just got to set our priorities and persevere moving forward