Second lady needs to lie to her family that she lost her job so they will leave her alone. Same thing happened to me when I got my first big job in Abuja back in the days. Told mum how much I was being paid and she and my siblings began conniving to extort me on weekly basis. Couldn’t take it anymore until I lied to them that I lost the job to get back my sanity. Little white lies works
Tell them "my wallet, my choice". If they don't respect it, tell them you will no longer talk to them, and mean it. I've had so many that I've helped like that, and for the few that try to call your bluff, cut them off. It lasts only about 6 months until they call you again 💪🏿😏 It works over 90% of the time.
Listen, recently my husband happen to help his sister by being her guarantor bcos we are home owners . She them found out how much he makes a year and made a joke that he should take her on holiday when the lockdown lifts . Being the one who told my husband to help the sister as she’s due a baby, I now regret it deeply .( my husband and his family is windrush people ) A month after this, my husband is having serious problems at work. He told his mum how depressed he is, these people don’t even pick up the phone to see how he’s doing or me. I’m also heavily pregnant. Black ppl , we need t do better
True talk of reality Phrankleen. We must emancipate ourselves from mental intimidations and family slavery. SIMPLY SAY NO!!! Please, note this fact that they will still survive when you stop sending them. Occasional support is allowed, but constant milking and demanding should not be tolerated nor encouraged. The best option is don't even start it. And if you have started it, begin to free yourself from their grips.
This sentiment and emotion is so real. I know from experience. My heart has become much more hardened now. I rarely send now and have detached myself as I dont want to be seen as an ATM for vultures and hyenas who for the most have no conscience or a pulse. They also couldn't care less for my mental, financial, spiritual or physically well being. We in the West have to be extremely strong with them from the go. Never ever willing give out your salary to extended family.These videos educate people all the time and keep us in the know sharp.
Awesome as always phankleen! My mom keeps telling me to tell my fiance to give her and my dad money. I refused to listen to her because he owes them nothing .
They always come for the wife. Always saying your wife is trying to control you or she doesn’t want you to take care of your family. You know us first before you marry her 🤦🏽♀️ Toxic culture & manipulative in laws/families. Please people learn to keep your business to yourself. Just because you not saying anything doesn’t mean it isn’t happening for you. Protect your spouse & children and always remember to pray.
Everybody needs to be cut off.. regroup and rebuild...in the end when you are financially ruined...no one will be able to assist...or even want to help...
I turned off free money sending to Africa. And I have save a lot of money. Now, I am loaning them money to do business if they they have a collateral plus interest. Family business. No free money. Teach them how to fishing in other word to learn how to make their own money. Edited: I shipped 30,000 goods from the US to my mother and she only have $4500 for me? Really? Pay my brother and his wife 2 years rent. My mother is my first loan customer. I gave her $1,500 USD and she gave me her 1 lot of land deed as a collateral.
When I was reading the first paragraph, I was thinking to my self, "Giving family a business with usually be a complete waste of time, because they will either run it to the ground, steal the money, and/or not put the profits back in to the business for the business to sustain itself or grow,,,,,,making the business collapse." Then I read the rest of what you wrote, and said to myself, ".....Exactly."
They will look for unscrupulous means to attack your woman or break your union! Toxic Culture indeed 😤Cheers Phrankleen we still rooting for ya'll! 🍸🤩❤✌🏾
Also when they ask for money, slash the amount you agree to give down 60%. Always give out 40% of the amount asked at the most. Don't make it seem as if you have it easy in the abroad. Your phrase should be: I will see what I can do.....😎
Other than your spouse, its best to not divulge your salary to family. Should you be afraid of parental "curse" and must tell them your income, be sure to also let them know that your house payment is $2500 a month for 30 years, your monthly car payment is $500 a month for 5 years, your children's school/ daycare fees are....etc. That way when they are calculating your income, they factor in your expenses too. If you must send money home to help family back there, see a financial planner first or assess your financial goals and steps to attain them. Once that is done, you will come up with a figure to send them, and no more, irrespective of the stories and complains they send your way. Learn to say "no."
@@lelo940 😂😂😂 what is the definition of an adult?? Adult make choices on their own behalf without having to justify it to anybody besides their spouses. So again as an adult when you say no, it means no....no justification needed, if you choose to give a reason, why is it important that anyone believes you. An adult works for their money how you spend or invest it is your business alone.
Actually, they don’t care😂😂😂 U can be telling them that u don’t u have money to pay ur rent ... they will tell u sorry o but plz put the money in the name and I will pick it up tomorrow😂😂
Other groups of people prepare their children for world while African see their children as a commodity to used for their enjoyment, it’s not accident why we are still in the bottom everywhere in the world and our own continents. How could we move forward to build a nation and accumulate capitals when we ourselves are the capital. This has to change. My thesis is, this is the same reason why European where able to enslaved us, our own people with this kind of mentality collaborated with them to sell their children in the name of enjoying their children. This sad!
Hi Phrankleen. Thank you for your hardwork. For your second story, I have a simple advice for the lady if she will listen. She should tell her parents that she was suspended from work pending and investigation of an allegation. A week or two later she should tell them she has lost her job. This way she could phased them out of her bank balance and keep them out permanently if she is smart. I am happy to detail a full proper exist plan but she request or get in touch.. Keep it up brother..
My philosophy is mother has father has blessed is the child that has his OWN. The idea that your family can try and sponge off of you just because they think you have money is crazy. My family loves me enough not to ask me for anything like that. My daddy always says when you see people with things don't jealous them because you don't know what they had to do to get it. People need to save money when they are young so that when they are old they don't need to depend on their children.
It is very tricky being a contrator. Here in New York, depending on your employer, one has to be very careful and read the fine print. Alot of people assume you are paid for a whole month. Far from the truth. You will be lucky to be paid for a whole month (20 days). Sometimes it is better to be a full time employee of a firm because at least you will get paid vacation, health benefits, and at least the company will remit part of your taxes.
Man, I can't thank you enough for preaching this gospel. Lots of family have been destroyed, or waiting for impending doom because of stories like this. Some of us were raised in an authoritarian home, and find it difficult to say no to our parents, and people who are our elders, even when it is to our own detriment. Unfortunately this mindset will only make us live beneath our capacity . Your teachings is helping some us face this behemoth (family loyalty)against our immediate family. My advice is to change your number, find one of them that is understanding and make them your spokesperson. Don't let them come to you directly if you find it difficult to say no.
Can people keep their finances within the confines of their nuclear family? No one needs to know how much you take home. For example: my dad would ask how much we earn not for asking for funds sake, but just to know if he will still need to support any of us financially. If you have enough to give, please do so but do not succumb to promising a monthly stipend. People need to have a wealth management plan for their nuclear family before exposing themselves to being an ATM.
I had to learn to be emotionally detached to whatever lies my family used to come up with in order for me to send money. I don’t even tell them where I work or how much I make or what position even though they wanted to know. Stay away from emotional blackmail
The truth is your survival as an individual is 100% your responsibility once you're out of the nest (especiallly if you live abroad or in another city) while the family still get by as a group. No one care how many hours of work you have to put in or how rough the terrain is! Never disclose your income.
Oh Phrankleem, I totally feel you; I get upset just hearing the stories of how people are being guilt-tripped and duped by others, especially family members. Thank you for addressing these sobering topics. In other news, Sir you are funny 😂, I can already imagine visualize people getting hart attacks when they pull out their big calculators and start calculating someone’s salary without even thinking of the tax that has to be paid on the earned money
This is sad yet so true. To the lady I would suggest you come up with an exit strategy to leave this relationship. Most folks don’t realize what they have till it’s gone. Hope your husband will come to his senses once you are gone! And to add salt to injury now the ungrateful brother in law will be living with you! It’s a no for me. My house is my sacred space.
I don't she should leave her home just because a brother in law showed up. She can fix him up with one of her single friends. Train the guy up, he starts his own contracting job and start sending money to his parents.
He will not listen to his wife.Its part of the African background.It is gratifying for him to hear their praises from home. hopefully he learns his lessons with his sooner than later. A lot of contractors get caught in tax traps.
Always spot on Phrankleen , dissemination of wickedness 👍🏿🤣🤣. Jokes aside, these issues are rife within our community, my own family. Written off everyone and focused on my immediate family, husband and son 🤷🏾♀️
Phrankleen, everything you said is the truth. Fortunately for me my family are nowhere near what I've heard you narrated here. I made an informed decision to cater for them because they are still still struggling and I stick to that. Anything over and above. I just don't do for them. In short, my earnings does not stretch far to give them more than I do and when they became unreasonable by asking for more especially after I've just sent them their monthly allowance, I simply refuse to take their calls or reply their messages. Come the next month, I send their monthly allowance and so it goes. To my surprise, they somehow manage to survive without receiving any extra money from me. For my own peace of mind, I can only help them within my means. God help us all.
Lost my mom she used to help her family members now they want us to continue to pay school fees etc for some of our cousins and they asking us money also it's like it will never stop It feels like after us they will come for our children too I hate that grown people huh crazy
With IR35, your take home is vastly reduced as well, compared to years ago, unless he has a good accountant. Also as a contractor you should be putting aside funds to cover the nature of contract work, which entails on some occasions being out of work for months.
Or curse me? Mine played the curse card but shocked on them, I blocked them. I realized that I would end up in an early grave if I did not love me and choose me. Guys, family is evil; cut them off before you become the living dead.
Thank you. I have learned a lot from your show. I have been in this type of situation where they "smashed my face in the mud." Even if someone was making all the money in the world, boundaries needed to be created to avoid future catastrophy. When I figured out the financial shenanigans, lack of trust and exploitation, I pulled back then I was the problem. People are selfish and unreasonable Thank you!
Stories like this makes me angry, how do ppl get to this point? For those who are currently in this situation and don't know how to break the chain or who don't have the ball's to say No. Covid is the opportunity to use. Just tell them you lost your job. And end the rubbish.
International student isn't £10K, that's home students. Intl students are from £17 - 30K depending on course and calibre of university. If you go to the Russel group universities, the fee alone cost from £23K upwards ( even 50K if its Medicine) for Intl students. I know because we look into all these for our friends that can afford it.
Sir good morning, I don’t know hen this came out ,!!! but you hit the nail on the head. I am jamaica and I can tell you the most evil people are in your own family! I can tell you hair raising stories. Children , niece, sister all have a one way ticket to hell. They went as far as to burn down my house to make sure I have nothing.Stay blessed.🙏🙏🙏
Thanks for telling it as it is. I never tell folks back home how much i make. Period. Even when it comes to my citizenship, they do not know!! Mama just found out two years ago! It is both a security issue and peace of mind. All they knew was I was still on permanent residency!!
My mom passed on BEFORE i could give her ALL i have always wanted to give her ( materially) and, i just lose it whenever i think of her being gone! It is true that,our families back home tend ask /demand so much of us (especially our parents) BUT...we must not forget ....PARENTS WILL NOT BE THERE ALWAYS ....................!
So sad 😞 I’ve seen this a lot. They are living it up in Naija while you are suffering. Missing out time with your family for ungrateful family members.
Working for others versus earning for self. Consumers versus sellers. The need of validation through titles and degrees versus the owners of resources and trade and selling for profit. There is a thin line betwixt perpetual victims and volunteers.
I guess I'm lucky so. My family (my mom and sisters) helps me calculate how much I can save and refuse offers of money. When they accept it, they make sure I've paid my bills and put my savings away. My extended family is another story altogether.
@@formidablezee7368 As in, the stories they come up with is the stuff of Nollywood! I don't block them though, I keep them around for the entertainment. What I don't have, I can't give 🤷🏿♀️
Anyway, how do these "entitled" folks survive if one should lose their source of livelihood. At some point, they just swagger off when the money gradually dries up. Let's agree that the world has evolved overtime. It's good to support extended family but not be a prisoner because of guilt trip. Besides, realistically, one needs to think of a retirement plan as well. I once told my uncle that I am low on funds and he asked me to go borrow and pay his son's school fees...😏 can you beat that?
You don't need to tell them. Once you mention your profession, they already have an idea how much you supposedly make. Eg. Once they hear a nurse in US, they believe you are making good money forgetting that nurses are just low middle class. But that exchange rate props up the numbers.
Hi Phrankleen 👋 👋 I’m with you 100% on this toxic behaviour /culture thing. Keep talking about it joh BROS !!!! It NEEDS to be said as Wife Blaming is prevalent in our Nigerian society. Whenever things go wrong or family can’t get what they want, it always the wife’s fault. As for the IT Contractor Guy , looks like some very hard life lessons are in store for him if he does not get his priorities right and make the distinction between immediate family (himself, his wife and his kids) & extended family. I’m all for helping family however, not to my own detriment by making myself the goose that lays the golden eggs. As for the younger sibling, that has no respect for his wife , if he moves into their home there are going to be some high octane fireworks 🧨 🧨 🧨 exploding in that house and the family may not survive the aftermath .Looks like his wife can see the trouble coming . My advice to her would be...... 1. She should keep humble and calm. 2. Stay well out of any of the decisions between her husband and his family . It will only cause trouble and more arguments if she doesn’t. 3. Save as much money as she can . 4. Pray her husband will realise that he is being emotionally manipulated before it is too late.
Critical thinking is lacking in our culture. Instead of asking for money, map out a business plan, strategies, analyse risks, grind and build something with your family. The mental laziness is alarming sometimes. 20k naira here, 20k naira there before you know it you don blow all the money because money that you did not work for is sort of useless. Just chilling and collecting money here and there wouldn't encourage one to be industrious.
I Am laughing the hold time Listening to you...I'm a Jamaican living in NYC.. Iits the same thing in Jamaica...every thing .... I heard parent say their children is their pension..
The wise thing to do is to have the relatives run some type of business. If they squander the investment money, then you cut them off. You won't be blamed then. It is wrong to keep sending money perpetually to able-bodied people. There are so many businesses people could run in Nigeria, that would make more money than someone slaving away in the UK.
I love that word able bodied but they will depress you to the point of death as if they cant do something for daily servival when you tell them to go find work they say you bad bse they want that daily money you send them i almost run mad untill i learnt to say no and enough is enough am done
Why the hell he brought him here the moment they say that he should have call them back in a month crying that he lost his job. So they get off his back and if they keep pushing block there ass. Hell no shit like this piss me off
Phrankleen, those who are scared of being cursed should know that there are only 2 forces. If Dad is going to deploy evil forces to control you. You need to go to the right source, God and plead your case. Put it in his powerful hands and he will fight for you . No evil force can penetrate or overcome you when you enlist God all powerful for your protection.
'"Hunhunn!! Odidi omo ko, ilaji omo ni, radarada😜😜😜😜😜😜 etete maa mu omo yin lo'" People need to be careful, keep everything abt you private 👌👌👌🙏🙏🙏🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌😘😘😘😘
Phrankleen you have said it all. I hope those concern will sincerely learn the lesson early. I.love the truth you share without prejudice. They are simply the bitter truth and wisdom Nuggets. 👍👏 Bravo to you Phrankleen omo Yorùbá pónbélé💯
Hey man. Black American here. Love your stories.. Question on one point-- that dark energy tip. Anybody ever used that on white folks, Chinese, Lebanese, Syrians or all the other vultures? Does it only work on other Africans?
My ex was doing well until his Ghanaian family got to know that he was reaching for an unexpected success. Fast forward 10years he lost everything:Businesses, family and friends. The attack was so real, me as a Nigerian ran for my life with my children. I should also add I lost thousands of £ in the process sending containers and cars to Ghana. This things are real and the effective can be lasting. Africa's we need to look after one another.
U very correct all dis stories bro , them people that said same stories and not true smh . I pray none of them go through dis because it’s nothing but mentally depressing.
Westernization is not a place, but a mindset in too many a person's sensability. As long as African/Black people believe and promote the ignorance of streets are paved with gold, and folks teaching the children that no one in Africa can succeed unless they travel to any colony presently controlled or formerly by Euros or Asians, nothing will change.
I remember when I stopped sending money,they started accusing my spouse that's she's the reason, I called them back and made it clear, na me no wan give una money again. Leave my spouse outta of it,the emotional blackmail is too much.
The fact that we look out for each other can be good and a way to survive in Africa....unlike in European settings. The problem however is that experience have proved that instead of using money to assist themselves move on, they "wait" for the money you send them... Unfortunately the proverbial WAHALA doesnt ends.... I have learnt to say NO sometimes...i cant kill myself 😅😅😅😅😅
Flexing up and divulging your income to any damn human being especially your close relatives when you travel back home is tantamount to signing your own death warrant.
Seriously, I need to get some of these your contacts that are just eating this BA thing alive so that I can learn. I have been a BA for 2 years and I have not even smelt job offering £200 a day 👀.
There’s an ancient word nobody uses these days. It’s simple to pronounce but hard to use. We all , especially in the diaspora need go back and learn it. It’s the word NO. It solves a lot of problems. Learn to say no.
One of the collectives' problematic mindset is setting a limit of $100,000.00 as some sort of reaching the hiatus of earnings. In NYC, Bedford Stuyvesant to be exact; that income level still qualified the inhabitants to qualify for help from food pantries and kitchens, gentrifiers included. I am curious to why/ how and when this earning limitation was set. Cheap labor is the order of the day. It seems that a specific earning table was set and folks fell for the game that the uber wealthy sets concerning titles and faux successes. If you only knew of the educated and degreed exploitation of folks born in the U.S., and the exploitation of foreign born newcomers that are invited to only feed the coffers of the wealthy; folks would be irate. This is not only a British or US construct, this is a global hustle. Not a hundred thousand anything dollar, pounds and whatever currency anywhere constitutes 'wealth'. This is factual in every nouveau riche mindset and delusional new and old colony stronghold in the world. Titles are meaningless under supremacy..
If you noticed any of your family member or your siblings that wants to clutch you down to failure, you have no option than to send him/her to untimely grave by any means available to you. Do not listen to the preachers of Jesus Christ and acclaimed pastors who will tell to forgive. Once you die no body can speak for you. Siblings and family members are your worst enemy.
The first time I heard the phrase “Black Tax” was from a white South African guy at work. Black Tax is the extra money that black professionals are coughing up every month to support their extended families. He told me about a black South African lady whom he used to work with at Standard Bank in South Africa. She told him that “You white folks are lucky because when you get your salary at the end of the month you only use it to support your immediate family. Us black people have to support our immediate family and dozens of other members of our extended families and that is why we can’t even save anything”. I am also African and live in the UK and I have noticed that some people back at home feel that they are entitled to part of my salary each month. It gets even more interesting when you are an African man living abroad and married to a Westerner because a Western wife does not understand, so it can cause friction in the marriage. All I can advise Africans living abroad is to give people back at home whatever you can afford but don’t let them bully you into guilty giving. Please do give because the little you give multiplies tenfold when it reaches Africa. Someone once said that if you cannot give 10 cents when you have 1 dollar then you will not be able to give 1 million dollars when you have 100 million dollars.
This was very informative in many ways. I am not an African meaning , wasn’t born to African parents or born in any of the countries in the African continent m. Be that as it may I am African due to my ancestors and this story is reminiscent of all cultures, you will find one in the same l. I am sorry that brother loss his property to the government, while I applaud him for being smart to build back home he was WRONG with not including his WIFE from the start. And I fully AGREE that she should NEVER add husband to the property just for a show and his ego. He didn’t add her name to his property to begin with. While I have no problem with him asking his family to assist back how he should have talk it out with his wife first and he would have made a much better decision, she did🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌 anyway good luck to them maybe her I’ll be more humble now and not cockey.
I’m already 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️. We don’t ever tell family back home (especially) how much we make. They will whip out those calculators with the quickness, convert then and budget on your dime 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ Edit: Omg, Phrankleen says the exact same thing as soon as I hit send 🤣🤣
Second lady needs to lie to her family that she lost her job so they will leave her alone. Same thing happened to me when I got my first big job in Abuja back in the days. Told mum how much I was being paid and she and my siblings began conniving to extort me on weekly basis. Couldn’t take it anymore until I lied to them that I lost the job to get back my sanity. Little white lies works
@Kaye Ti lol 😁😀 I guess desperate times call for desperate measures
@Kaye Ti 😂😂
@Kaye Ti 😆😃
Good one, i think i will tell thesame thing to my family...
@Kaye Ti 🤣🤣😂😂
Tell them "my wallet, my choice". If they don't respect it, tell them you will no longer talk to them, and mean it.
I've had so many that I've helped like that, and for the few that try to call your bluff, cut them off. It lasts only about 6 months until they call you again 💪🏿😏
It works over 90% of the time.
Listen, recently my husband happen to help his sister by being her guarantor bcos we are home owners . She them found out how much he makes a year and made a joke that he should take her on holiday when the lockdown lifts . Being the one who told my husband to help the sister as she’s due a baby, I now regret it deeply .( my husband and his family is windrush people )
A month after this, my husband is having serious problems at work. He told his mum how depressed he is, these people don’t even pick up the phone to see how he’s doing or me. I’m also heavily pregnant.
Black ppl , we need t do better
You wanted to be a good girl right?
Too bad y'all didn't save up money
True talk of reality Phrankleen. We must emancipate ourselves from mental intimidations and family slavery. SIMPLY SAY NO!!! Please, note this fact that they will still survive when you stop sending them. Occasional support is allowed, but constant milking and demanding should not be tolerated nor encouraged. The best option is don't even start it. And if you have started it, begin to free yourself from their grips.
The grip is too tight you give them education demands never stop 👀🤔
This sentiment and emotion is so real. I know from experience. My heart has become much more hardened now. I rarely send now and have detached myself as I dont want to be seen as an ATM for vultures and hyenas who for the most have no conscience or a pulse. They also couldn't care less for my mental, financial, spiritual or physically well being. We in the West have to be extremely strong with them from the go. Never ever willing give out your salary to extended family.These videos educate people all the time and keep us in the know sharp.
Awesome as always phankleen! My mom keeps telling me to tell my fiance to give her and my dad money. I refused to listen to her because he owes them nothing .
Wow 😳
Dont mind her...... dont ever mind her. You will lose your respect in your rship....and your mom knows this. Use your head girl.
Same 😂 but when I didn’t she began calling to ask him herself 😓😓
@@ereresophie What? That is unacceptable!
A good wife, who can find her.
They always come for the wife. Always saying your wife is trying to control you or she doesn’t want you to take care of your family. You know us first before you marry her 🤦🏽♀️
Toxic culture & manipulative in laws/families.
Please people learn to keep your business to yourself. Just because you not saying anything doesn’t mean it isn’t happening for you. Protect your spouse & children and always remember to pray.
Everybody needs to be cut off.. regroup and rebuild...in the end when you are financially ruined...no one will be able to assist...or even want to help...
💯 right
That is true
I turned off free money sending to Africa. And I have save a lot of money. Now, I am loaning them money to do business if they they have a collateral plus interest. Family business. No free money. Teach them how to fishing in other word to learn how to make their own money.
Edited:
I shipped 30,000 goods from the US to my mother and she only have $4500 for me? Really? Pay my brother and his wife 2 years rent.
My mother is my first loan customer. I gave her $1,500 USD and she gave me her 1 lot of land deed as a collateral.
🤣😂
When I was reading the first paragraph, I was thinking to my self, "Giving family a business with usually be a complete waste of time, because they will either run it to the ground, steal the money, and/or not put the profits back in to the business for the business to sustain itself or grow,,,,,,making the business collapse."
Then I read the rest of what you wrote, and said to myself, ".....Exactly."
They will look for unscrupulous means to attack your woman or break your union! Toxic Culture indeed 😤Cheers Phrankleen we still rooting for ya'll! 🍸🤩❤✌🏾
Also when they ask for money, slash the amount you agree to give down 60%. Always give out 40% of the amount asked at the most. Don't make it seem as if you have it easy in the abroad.
Your phrase should be: I will see what I can do.....😎
Other than your spouse, its best to not divulge your salary to family. Should you be afraid of parental "curse" and must tell them your income, be sure to also let them know that your house payment is $2500 a month for 30 years, your monthly car payment is $500 a month for 5 years, your children's school/ daycare fees are....etc. That way when they are calculating your income, they factor in your expenses too.
If you must send money home to help family back there, see a financial planner first or assess your financial goals and steps to attain them. Once that is done, you will come up with a figure to send them, and no more, irrespective of the stories and complains they send your way. Learn to say "no."
@@african-history-fountain As in...👊🏽👊🏽
Why will an adult have to explain his income or expense to any damn body, parents included. C’mon#@%&
@@BabaCustom
So that they will see the transparence of it's monthly earning...and believed him or her
@@lelo940 😂😂😂 what is the definition of an adult?? Adult make choices on their own behalf without having to justify it to anybody besides their spouses. So again as an adult when you say no, it means no....no justification needed, if you choose to give a reason, why is it important that anyone believes you. An adult works for their money how you spend or invest it is your business alone.
Actually, they don’t care😂😂😂
U can be telling them that u don’t u have money to pay ur rent ... they will tell u sorry o but plz put the money in the name and I will pick it up tomorrow😂😂
Other groups of people prepare their children for world while African see their children as a commodity to used for their enjoyment, it’s not accident why we are still in the bottom everywhere in the world and our own continents. How could we move forward to build a nation and accumulate capitals when we ourselves are the capital. This has to change.
My thesis is, this is the same reason why European where able to enslaved us, our own people with this kind of mentality collaborated with them to sell their children in the name of enjoying their children. This sad!
Hi Phrankleen. Thank you for your hardwork. For your second story, I have a simple advice for the lady if she will listen. She should tell her parents that she was suspended from work pending and investigation of an allegation. A week or two later she should tell them she has lost her job. This way she could phased them out of her bank balance and keep them out permanently if she is smart. I am happy to detail a full proper exist plan but she request or get in touch.. Keep it up brother..
Nice plan
My philosophy is mother has father has blessed is the child that has his OWN. The idea that your family can try and sponge off of you just because they think you have money is crazy. My family loves me enough not to ask me for anything like that. My daddy always says when you see people with things don't jealous them because you don't know what they had to do to get it. People need to save money when they are young so that when they are old they don't need to depend on their children.
Mine added ......you don't know what they doing to keep and how many nights they not sleeping in their bed, working to pay off debt.
It is very tricky being a contrator. Here in New York, depending on your employer, one has to be very careful and read the fine print. Alot of people assume you are paid for a whole month. Far from the truth. You will be lucky to be paid for a whole month (20 days). Sometimes it is better to be a full time employee of a firm because at least you will get paid vacation, health benefits, and at least the company will remit part of your taxes.
Man, I can't thank you enough for preaching this gospel. Lots of family have been destroyed, or waiting for impending doom because of stories like this. Some of us were raised in an authoritarian home, and find it difficult to say no to our parents, and people who are our elders, even when it is to our own detriment. Unfortunately this mindset will only make us live beneath our capacity . Your teachings is helping some us face this behemoth (family loyalty)against our immediate family. My advice is to change your number, find one of them that is understanding and make them your spokesperson. Don't let them come to you directly if you find it difficult to say no.
Can people keep their finances within the confines of their nuclear family? No one needs to know how much you take home. For example: my dad would ask how much we earn not for asking for funds sake, but just to know if he will still need to support any of us financially. If you have enough to give, please do so but do not succumb to promising a monthly stipend. People need to have a wealth management plan for their nuclear family before exposing themselves to being an ATM.
I had to learn to be emotionally detached to whatever lies my family used to come up with in order for me to send money. I don’t even tell them where I work or how much I make or what position even though they wanted to know. Stay away from emotional blackmail
No need to lying to to them. Start Loaning them money with a collateral plus interest. Family business na.
They will not bother you anymore.
Facts
The truth is your survival as an individual is 100% your responsibility once you're out of the nest (especiallly if you live abroad or in another city) while the family still get by as a group. No one care how many hours of work you have to put in or how rough the terrain is! Never disclose your income.
Oh Phrankleem, I totally feel you; I get upset just hearing the stories of how people are being guilt-tripped and duped by others, especially family members. Thank you for addressing these sobering topics. In other news, Sir you are funny 😂, I can already imagine visualize people getting hart attacks when they pull out their big calculators and start calculating someone’s salary without even thinking of the tax that has to be paid on the earned money
This is sad yet so true. To the lady I would suggest you come up with an exit strategy to leave this relationship. Most folks don’t realize what they have till it’s gone. Hope your husband will come to his senses once you are gone! And to add salt to injury now the ungrateful brother in law will be living with you! It’s a no for me. My house is my sacred space.
I don't she should leave her home just because a brother in law showed up. She can fix him up with one of her single friends. Train the guy up, he starts his own contracting job and start sending money to his parents.
He will not listen to his wife.Its part of the African background.It is gratifying for him to hear their praises from home. hopefully he learns his lessons with his sooner than later. A lot of contractors get caught in tax traps.
Always spot on Phrankleen , dissemination of wickedness 👍🏿🤣🤣. Jokes aside, these issues are rife within our community, my own family. Written off everyone and focused on my immediate family, husband and son 🤷🏾♀️
Great Insight! I love how you drop in a bit of Yoruba, Makes the conversation even better & relatable! Well done Egbon 👍🏾
Phrankleen, everything you said is the truth. Fortunately for me my family are nowhere near what I've heard you narrated here. I made an informed decision to cater for them because they are still still struggling and I stick to that. Anything over and above. I just don't do for them. In short, my earnings does not stretch far to give them more than I do and when they became unreasonable by asking for more especially after I've just sent them their monthly allowance, I simply refuse to take their calls or reply their messages. Come the next month, I send their monthly allowance and so it goes. To my surprise, they somehow manage to survive without receiving any extra money from me. For my own peace of mind, I can only help them within my means. God help us all.
“PHD in the dissemination of wickedness”-so true 🥲
Jamaica, the same belief system P, Well, what can I say, my roots are from Africa. Nigeria, Ghana... 23andmeAncestry...
Jamaicans and Nigerians are too damn similar and refuse to admit it! And I go to both countries!!
Lost my mom she used to help her family members now they want us to continue to pay school fees etc for some of our cousins and they asking us money also it's like it will never stop It feels like after us they will come for our children too I hate that grown people huh crazy
Some of us are heavily Broke because of family members .
You are so right ✅
“Many of us” you mean?
@@007enemona the word was carefully chosen, if I used many of us its means the percentage is very high .
@@ativiejonathan3705 got it. I was only trying to emphasise the scale of the problem. Of course, you’re right to use “some of us”.
That brother in law should find a job and starting living in his own place.
Most of us have the spirit of people pleasing which I think is time to drop that.
With IR35, your take home is vastly reduced as well, compared to years ago, unless he has a good accountant. Also as a contractor you should be putting aside funds to cover the nature of contract work, which entails on some occasions being out of work for months.
Or curse me? Mine played the curse card but shocked on them, I blocked them. I realized that I would end up in an early grave if I did not love me and choose me. Guys, family is evil; cut them off before you become the living dead.
Word 👌🏾🔥
Thank you. I have learned a lot from your show.
I have been in this type of situation where they "smashed my face in the mud." Even if someone was making all the money in the world, boundaries needed to be created to avoid future catastrophy. When I figured out the financial shenanigans, lack of trust and exploitation, I pulled back then I was the problem.
People are selfish and unreasonable
Thank you!
Stories like this makes me angry, how do ppl get to this point? For those who are currently in this situation and don't know how to break the chain or who don't have the ball's to say No. Covid is the opportunity to use. Just tell them you lost your job. And end the rubbish.
They take kindness for weakness
🤣🤣🤣🤣👍🏽
International student isn't £10K, that's home students. Intl students are from £17 - 30K depending on course and calibre of university. If you go to the Russel group universities, the fee alone cost from £23K upwards ( even 50K if its Medicine) for Intl students. I know because we look into all these for our friends that can afford it.
You’re are correct, my bad 👊🏾😊
Watched all the adverts to support this lovely program, since we can't superchat from 9ja
I appreciate the support!
@obinna, I will also do that henceforth. Thanks for opening my mind.
Sir good morning, I don’t know hen this came out ,!!! but you hit the nail on the head. I am jamaica and I can tell you the most evil people are in your own family! I can tell you hair raising stories. Children , niece, sister all have a one way ticket to hell. They went as far as to burn down my house to make sure I have nothing.Stay blessed.🙏🙏🙏
Thanks for telling it as it is. I never tell folks back home how much i make. Period.
Even when it comes to my citizenship, they do not know!! Mama just found out two years ago! It is both a security issue and peace of mind. All they knew was I was still on permanent residency!!
Sharp some body
My mom passed on BEFORE i could give her ALL i have always wanted to give her ( materially) and, i just lose it whenever i think of her being gone! It is true that,our families back home tend ask /demand so much of us (especially our parents) BUT...we must not forget ....PARENTS WILL NOT BE THERE ALWAYS ....................!
Then give all to your dad.
Give reasonably and never 👎🏾 at your own detriment. It will always catch up with you and prevent the fruition of your personal goals.
@@olufamut592 Don’t
Wow! I know exactly how that man felt/ feels... emotional abuse/ psychological abuse by family is real...
Phrankleen is so much in love with the profession of project management.I guess he is into project management.
So sad 😞 I’ve seen this a lot.
They are living it up in Naija while you are suffering. Missing out time with your family for ungrateful family members.
You are so right ✅
Yeah, it’s as if they think everyone in the uk/us and other places are all rich
Those weren't enough "never ever" Phrankleen! You missed a few more🤣.
👋🏾😁😁😁
Is $2500.00 bucks or pounds per month for a mortgage hanging the hat too high?
Working for others versus earning for self. Consumers versus sellers. The need of validation through titles and degrees versus the owners of resources and trade and selling for profit. There is a thin line betwixt perpetual victims and volunteers.
I guess I'm lucky so. My family (my mom and sisters) helps me calculate how much I can save and refuse offers of money. When they accept it, they make sure I've paid my bills and put my savings away. My extended family is another story altogether.
Extended for that matter.
Thier pressure is so ridiculous
@@formidablezee7368 As in, the stories they come up with is the stuff of Nollywood! I don't block them though, I keep them around for the entertainment. What I don't have, I can't give 🤷🏿♀️
You are so right, my parents and siblings ensure we save and invest but you see those extended families and some not so close friend ehn
God bless them real good 🙌🙌
Anyway, how do these "entitled" folks survive if one should lose their source of livelihood. At some point, they just swagger off when the money gradually dries up. Let's agree that the world has evolved overtime. It's good to support extended family but not be a prisoner because of guilt trip. Besides, realistically, one needs to think of a retirement plan as well. I once told my uncle that I am low on funds and he asked me to go borrow and pay his son's school fees...😏 can you beat that?
The part of this conversation spoken in YORUBA is the most interesting. I can't stop laughing ROTFL.
I am a Ghanaian and can totally relate to this
You don't need to tell them. Once you mention your profession, they already have an idea how much you supposedly make. Eg. Once they hear a nurse in US, they believe you are making good money forgetting that nurses are just low middle class. But that exchange rate props up the numbers.
You’re right 👌🏾🔥
Hi Phrankleen 👋 👋 I’m with you 100% on this toxic behaviour /culture thing. Keep talking about it joh BROS !!!! It NEEDS to be said as Wife Blaming is prevalent in our Nigerian society. Whenever things go wrong or family can’t get what they want, it always the wife’s fault.
As for the IT Contractor Guy , looks like some very hard life lessons are in store for him if he does not get his priorities right and make the distinction between immediate family (himself, his wife and his kids) & extended family. I’m all for helping family however, not to my own detriment by making myself the goose that lays the golden eggs.
As for the younger sibling, that has no respect for his wife , if he moves into their home there are going to be some high octane fireworks 🧨 🧨 🧨 exploding in that house and the family may not survive the aftermath .Looks like his wife can see the trouble coming .
My advice to her would be......
1. She should keep humble and calm.
2. Stay well out of any of the decisions between her husband and his family . It will only cause trouble and more arguments if she doesn’t.
3. Save as much money as she can .
4. Pray her husband will realise that he is being emotionally manipulated before it is too late.
Critical thinking is lacking in our culture. Instead of asking for money, map out a business plan, strategies, analyse risks, grind and build something with your family. The mental laziness is alarming sometimes. 20k naira here, 20k naira there before you know it you don blow all the money because money that you did not work for is sort of useless. Just chilling and collecting money here and there wouldn't encourage one to be industrious.
I Am laughing the hold time
Listening to you...I'm a Jamaican living in NYC..
Iits the same thing in Jamaica...every thing ....
I heard parent say their children is their pension..
That kind of stuff honestly disgusts me.
It’s no different in Haiti.
The wise thing to do is to have the relatives run some type of business. If they squander the investment money, then you cut them off. You won't be blamed then. It is wrong to keep sending money perpetually to able-bodied people. There are so many businesses people could run in Nigeria, that would make more money than someone slaving away in the UK.
I love that word able bodied but they will depress you to the point of death as if they cant do something for daily servival when you tell them to go find work they say you bad bse they want that daily money you send them i almost run mad untill i learnt to say no and enough is enough am done
@@fatimamadou7021
Well done.
Their mentality at home is different. They feel you can afford it, so why do they need to work. That is how they think.
Why the hell he brought him here the moment they say that he should have call them back in a month crying that he lost his job. So they get off his back and if they keep pushing block there ass. Hell no shit like this piss me off
Phrankleen, those who are scared of being cursed should know that there are only 2 forces. If Dad is going to deploy evil forces to control you. You need to go to the right source, God and plead your case. Put it in his powerful hands and he will fight for you . No evil force can penetrate or overcome you when you enlist God all powerful for your protection.
You are very correct about the aspect of dark energy
'"Hunhunn!! Odidi omo ko, ilaji omo ni, radarada😜😜😜😜😜😜 etete maa mu omo yin lo'" People need to be careful, keep everything abt you private 👌👌👌🙏🙏🙏🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌😘😘😘😘
Phrankleen you have said it all.
I hope those concern will sincerely learn the lesson early.
I.love the truth you share without prejudice. They are simply the bitter truth and wisdom Nuggets.
👍👏
Bravo to you Phrankleen omo Yorùbá pónbélé💯
Thank you for bringing up these points.I'm definitely subscribing to your channel.KEEP TELLING THE TRUTH BRO
Hey man. Black American here. Love your stories.. Question on one point-- that dark energy tip. Anybody ever used that on white folks, Chinese, Lebanese, Syrians or all the other vultures? Does it only work on other Africans?
It might be similar with people from the middle east
My ex was doing well until his Ghanaian family got to know that he was reaching for an unexpected success. Fast forward 10years he lost everything:Businesses, family and friends. The attack was so real, me as a Nigerian ran for my life with my children. I should also add I lost thousands of £ in the process sending containers and cars to Ghana.
This things are real and the effective can be lasting. Africa's we need to look after one another.
Thank you phrankleen Nothing but the truth. I keep replaying this to people around me.
Bro your explanation is too on point. I just dey laugh 🤣🤣🤣🤣
😄😄😄😄😄
My most evil sister claims she is a baptized christian
When you speak,I take notes..... for me, it's an online life lessons university...
U very correct all dis stories bro , them people that said same stories and not true smh . I pray none of them go through dis because it’s nothing but mentally depressing.
How sad. Self destruction at its peak
Your calculator statement about how people calculate people's money in the western world dey make me laugh 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Westernization is not a place, but a mindset in too many a person's sensability. As long as African/Black people believe and promote the ignorance of streets are paved with gold, and folks teaching the children that no one in Africa can succeed unless they travel to any colony presently controlled or formerly by Euros or Asians, nothing will change.
They do though
Even if you're homeless.
The truth is your a giant pound sign
@@formidablezee7368 👋🏾😁 giant pound sign .... Very true
@@jacksonernie484 y8⁸78⁸77⁷7u⁸⁸78⁷778⁸888778887⁸⁸88⁸7887⁷88788⁸788⁸8788888⁸7⁸⁸⁸⁸⁸7⁸⁸⁸8⁸⁸⁸⁸⁸⁸⁸⁸⁷8⁷ùùùùùuù
@@josiealexis406
Come again. I would love to conprehend and understand this message.
As for me am always broke that's why when I send money they'll thank me a lot. If they ask for money this month I'll send it next month
😀😁😀
Smart move
Your even doing well to do it monthly sha
Not the giant calculator 😂😂😂😂😂😂
4 siblings plus 2 parents.....gahhhhh dem 😀😀😀😀
🙃🙃🙃🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I know right!!!!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣😬😬😬😬
Funny and yet scary.
I have got 8 siblings with 2 parents... I learnt the hard way.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 Phrankleen🤣🤣🤣
I remember when I stopped sending money,they started accusing my spouse that's she's the reason, I called them back and made it clear, na me no wan give una money again. Leave my spouse outta of it,the emotional blackmail is too much.
Big up yuhself mi bredda PHRANKLEEN the ladies dem say dem love how yuh fresh and clean. When you step inna di room the gal dem scream.
😆
The fact that we look out for each other can be good and a way to survive in Africa....unlike in European settings.
The problem however is that experience have proved that instead of using money to assist themselves move on, they "wait" for the money you send them...
Unfortunately the proverbial WAHALA doesnt ends....
I have learnt to say NO sometimes...i cant kill myself 😅😅😅😅😅
You are right brother. You try to help them out in need but only to reck people down.
I know what you mean P, I am experiencing that now...
This Phrankleen guy is so damn funny. I am rolling with laughter. But he is telling the truth o.
Alot of truth 💯
Flexing up and divulging your income to any damn human being especially your close relatives when you travel back home is tantamount to signing your own death warrant.
It is Phrankleen, so I hit the like button first
Seriously, I need to get some of these your contacts that are just eating this BA thing alive so that I can learn. I have been a BA for 2 years and I have not even smelt job offering £200 a day 👀.
There are plenty BA / PM jobs paying £400 / day and above
That's what I hear, but you don't see them on totaljobs / reed/ cw... I need to find the source of these roles cause meehhhhn 😅
@@Phrankleen13 🤯 BLOOD OF JESUS
There’s an ancient word nobody uses these days. It’s simple to pronounce but hard to use. We all , especially in the diaspora need go back and learn it. It’s the word NO. It solves a lot of problems. Learn to say no.
This is crazy, it's so unreasonable.
Well done bro, keep up the good work 👍🏿
Its the calculator for me.🤭
Can we say this is the case except for situations where the parents are extremely wealthy beyond what the couple earns.
You always always on point Phrankleen, God bless you 👏👏👏👏
They're trying to show off why should tell people how much your making
Exactly 💯
One of the collectives' problematic mindset is setting a limit of $100,000.00 as some sort of reaching the hiatus of earnings. In NYC, Bedford Stuyvesant to be exact; that income level still qualified the inhabitants to qualify for help from food pantries and kitchens, gentrifiers included. I am curious to why/ how and when this earning limitation was set. Cheap labor is the order of the day. It seems that a specific earning table was set and folks fell for the game that the uber wealthy sets concerning titles and faux successes. If you only knew of the educated and degreed exploitation of folks born in the U.S., and the exploitation of foreign born newcomers that are invited to only feed the coffers of the wealthy; folks would be irate. This is not only a British or US construct, this is a global hustle. Not a hundred thousand anything dollar, pounds and whatever currency anywhere constitutes 'wealth'. This is factual in every nouveau riche mindset and delusional new and old colony stronghold in the world. Titles are meaningless under supremacy..
"No" is a complete sentence. Just say no
Your explanations in yoruba are too funny 🤣😂
👋🏾😁
@@Phrankleen13 came across your channel couple of days ago , I'm addicted now lol 😆
If you noticed any of your family member or your siblings that wants to clutch you down to failure, you have no option than to send him/her to untimely grave by any means available to you. Do not listen to the preachers of Jesus Christ and acclaimed pastors who will tell to forgive. Once you die no body can speak for you. Siblings and family members are your worst enemy.
Preach it P... Much needed...
The first time I heard the phrase “Black Tax” was from a white South African guy at work. Black Tax is the extra money that black professionals are coughing up every month to support their extended families. He told me about a black South African lady whom he used to work with at Standard Bank in South Africa. She told him that “You white folks are lucky because when you get your salary at the end of the month you only use it to support your immediate family. Us black people have to support our immediate family and dozens of other members of our extended families and that is why we can’t even save anything”.
I am also African and live in the UK and I have noticed that some people back at home feel that they are entitled to part of my salary each month. It gets even more interesting when you are an African man living abroad and married to a Westerner because a Western wife does not understand, so it can cause friction in the marriage.
All I can advise Africans living abroad is to give people back at home whatever you can afford but don’t let them bully you into guilty giving. Please do give because the little you give multiplies tenfold when it reaches Africa. Someone once said that if you cannot give 10 cents when you have 1 dollar then you will not be able to give 1 million dollars when you have 100 million dollars.
It’s also a good idea to not let them be too sure of how rich you are
I like your Yoruba very fluent 🤣🤣🤣
This was very informative in many ways. I am not an African meaning , wasn’t born to African parents or born in any of the countries in the African continent m. Be that as it may I am African due to my ancestors and this story is reminiscent of all cultures, you will find one in the same l.
I am sorry that brother loss his property to the government, while I applaud him for being smart to build back home he was WRONG with not including his WIFE from the start. And I fully AGREE that she should NEVER add husband to the property just for a show and his ego. He didn’t add her name to his property to begin with.
While I have no problem with him asking his family to assist back how he should have talk it out with his wife first and he would have made a much better decision, she did🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌 anyway good luck to them maybe her I’ll be more humble now and not cockey.
I’m already 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️. We don’t ever tell family back home (especially) how much we make. They will whip out those calculators with the quickness, convert then and budget on your dime 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
Edit: Omg, Phrankleen says the exact same thing as soon as I hit send 🤣🤣
I really love your yoruba spoken today 😁
You can do only yoruba program chat like this in future
Wickedness to the highest level
O n jamilaraje, some parents sha.I am learning here.
They counting your dollars for you
Always...