I remember being in 8th grade, battling anorexia and bulimia when I read Lori's oldest book "Stick Figure". Ever since then I have been committed to recovery. It hasn't exactly been an easy road, and I've had slip ups, but that book put a lot of things into perspective for me and I could relate heavily to her experience.
I feel like I resonate a lot with what you said except I’m recovering from substance abuse and what put things into perspective for me was being put in mental hospital for a week. The way you describe relating with her experience and it putting things into perspective is so heavy. Feeling alone is one of the reasons I never had the will to recover before
Some people who are said to have depression are actually just surviving extremely difficult life situations and should be congratulated for making it through
I think the thing Dr.Mike does best is not giving into the click bait/ fear mongering side of youtude and entertainment. The fact that he isn't using his platform to hock some kinda snake oil is really a testament to his character and profession. It really just feels like your local PCP picked up a camera to discuss what's important to them, and have fun along the way. He's a positive presence on an otherwise toxic internet and I hope he and his team keep up this kinda content.
I’m so glad to hear you say being sad is different from depression. ❤ I’m not sure if a lot of people know that. My fiancé passed away and everyone told me I was depressed. I kept saying, I’m sad, I have every right to be sad, I’m grieving. It was like they didn’t understand the concept. It was so weird.
Yes very true a big difference.... I've had to deal with both depression and anxiety from breast cancer etc which I brushed off till this year and my dad passing away in which I was absolutely wrecked emotionally about as a family argument and I never got to say goodbye.. So it all came to a head trying to deal with all these emotions plus marriage seperation and domestic violence.... Yes sadness is sadness which passes in time if people leave you be and let you be sad it's not illegal to be sad.. Depression is next level and I think this day and age people are all too busy trying to put a label on it!!! Or should say label the human who is going thru whatever they Just need to label you...
Well said. I've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder for some time now, and it worries me when, so often, some friend will say "I think I have depression. X happened and it's all I can think about." Typically I just listen, recommend a therapy visit, etc., but depression can be so malicious. Being "depressed" can be a symptom of depression, but it's one of many and the semantics of the two words confuses people into thinking sad = depression. Not to mention the weirdly romanticized idea behind depression or attempting to garner attention by saying you have depression. To anyone listening, if you suspect at all that you have depression: SEE YOUR DOCTOR. If you are sad because something sad happened, you likely don't have a disorder. It's okay to be sad. But hey, maybe also see a therapist because they can help. In either case, be well y'all.
I feel like in that specific scenario sadness can feel pretty similar to depression though. That feeling when someone is gone forever and you literally don’t feel like doing anything in the world other than sitting/laying down thinking about them. It’s more of a feeling of apathy than sadness in particular. That doesn’t feel the same as other types of sadness to me.
When I first started therapy, I was really nervous about not being able to trust my therapist. My Dad said, look at the first session as a first date. She’s getting to know you, and if at the end you don’t feel comfortable or right with it, you don’t go back and you find someone else.
That's an excellent way of putting it. I appreciate that he explained that it's okay to find another therapist if the fit doesn't seem right. Many people either don't realize that it's their right as a patient, or they feel guilty or something.
Almost wish I’d followed this advice. My first therapist was a disaster… burnt out, phoning it in, counting the days ‘til retirement. 😒 But the experience led to my second therapist, who was the best possible person I could’ve ever gotten. So, it did kinda work out for the best. Maybe the worst would’ve been getting an ‘adequate’ therapist right off the bat, who probably I would’ve felt no reason to ditch, and would’ve stuck with.
I did grief therapy after the passing of my 34 yo daughter. i found her body. i was in total guilt, not that i did anything wrong, but because i should have done more right, in my mind. my therapist helped me so much. i understand now i will never get over the loss but can try to accept and go on with my life. she was the first and only one who felt ok for me to talk to. she did not judge me. she let me talk, cry, get mad, and everything else. where as my friends and family were uncomfortable to talk about it. i needed to talk about it. i thank my therapist every day
I'm truly sorry for your indescribable loss. I'm coming up on the one year mark of losing my 17 year old son. Desperately trying to find a "good" grief therapist because I'm not in a good place.
I'm sorry about your loss. Personally I wanted to do the same thing but I didn't. Unfortunate your daughter couldn't feel the same feelings as me and I'm sorry for that.
Therapy has been a literal LIFESAVER for me. If I didn't have therapists (and a psychiatrist) then I'm not sure where I would be. They really helped me work my way through my mental illnesses and stabalize them. I am so greatful for that, I feel worlds better than I ever imagined I could be feeling before I went in. I went so long not knowing what was going on with me that it's still fresh and I'm working my way back up. No matter how weak or pointless you think therapy is, chances are it can help you in ways you never would've guessed.
When it comes to kids worrying or feeling sad or angry, one thing I learned is that when we minimize teenagers’ or tweens’ feelings, it really doesn’t help. Their lives are short and they have fewer experiences than adults and are experiencing lots of things for the first time. When a teen says “this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me” it very well could be, even if to an adult it seems like a minor problem. Dismissing their feelings won’t help them deal with their problems.
Yes, this is a great point and I think one of the reasons why many young people don't feel safe talking to adults. It happened with me a lot as a teenager, and instead of being heard and asked, I was told something like: "You're just being dramatic." I'm not a parent yet but as a teacher and a mentor, I work hard at not minimizing my students and mentees' feelings. I find it hugely disrespectful to the young person when an adult rolls their eyes or says things like: "What do you know about love? ou're just a kid."
I can’t open up to teachers or other adults for this reason. The constant mentally of “kids don’t have real problems” is so enforced and many feel like they can’t talk about their struggles because they’re “too young” or “don’t suffer as much”. I’ve always felt safer talking to my friends rather than adults because my friends actually understand, they listen and they try to offer support instead of just downplaying what I’m going through. Many adults think kids are stupid, which is what reinforces this idea that they shouldn’t be feeling this way and that it’s invalidated.
@@MeemahSN I completely empathize. When I was a kid, I very much felt that way and had a lot of issues with not being understood and heard. The reality is "adults" were once kids too, though I think many of them forget that. Unpleasant as my experiences were with adults, I did have some with whom I felt safe and who became my mentors. And, it's largely why I became a teacher and why I'm so passionate about mentoring and helping youth.
@@MeemahSN you are so right on so many levels. I also feel more comfortable talking to my close friends about my problems because they listen to me rather then my parents they’d rather just dismiss my problems.
AMEN! @30:00 - When you have mental health problems, navigating the mental health system is the worst, most soul-crushing experience there is. It's like telling the guy with the multiple compound leg fractures that all he has to do is simply walk a mile to the hospital right over there and they'll treat him.
I just graduated from therapy because I made so much progress! I was going for almost 3 years to help with my anxiety and depression. Best choice I ever made for myself and I always tell people that it’s okay to talk to a therapist because they’re there to help💝💝
Thank you for mentioning the time it took. My dad was on my case and trying to "push me" to "push myself" more, and now dislikes my therapist or thinks there is either something else wrong with me, or that I need a new one, when in reality these things just take time to work through. I'm a lot better than a few years ago, even though I admit that my case is complicated and that can slow progress with some setbacks. I've been seeing this therapist since around 2019 I think, because I remember having in person sessions and then switching to online because of the pandemic starting. During 2022, I've had the best year I've had for mental health milestones that I've had since 2016 or so. I'm in a rut again right now since I'm in between jobs, but that growth is still there even if I'm having a setback right now. 👍
To quote one of my favorite professors. “How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can’t change the lightbulb, they can only give the lightbulb the tools and support to change itself.” Therapists can help give you insight, support and tools to change/process/cope, you have to be the one to do the work. I wish more people understood that. You’re also not always going to walk away from each session feeling “better,” therapy is like brining an infection up to the surface so that it can heal and cleaning out the wound, that’s uncomfortable and sometimes painful. You also are able to heal and move forward. Sometimes you’re not going to like something your therapist says or the feedback they give you and it’s almost always because deep down you know they’re right. You do need to trust and like your therapist in order to build rapport, that also takes time. Validation does not equal approval. Your therapist may provide validation for what you talk about, and how it’s impacted you.
My first real experience with therapy as an adult. I suffer from complex PTSD, social anxiety and agoraphobia. I get panic attacks just from leaving my apartment, or when I'm falling asleep. It took me nearly two years to build up to the point where I could set up an appointment with my therapist. The first visit absolutely drained me and I didn't go back for two months. Same for the second visit, but this time I went back after 5 weeks. After the third visit the therapist told me I wasn't trying and made me feel guilty because I had only had 3 appointments in 3 months. It honestly broke me until I got notice that they were quitting and I realized they were just an overall crappy therapist.
I was in a similar situation a few years ago and I was not been able to find a good therapist. I was able to make progress on my own by leaving my apt every day, little by little. At first it was just opening the front door and walking down the hall. Eventually I enrolled in a class at a local community college just to force myself to leave. It was really hard though. I still have CPTSD and it’s associated symptoms, but I can leave my apt and do necessary things like shopping for groceries and those things now. I never did end up finding a good therapist though. On a positive note, when Covid lockdowns came around I had no problems staying at home lol. I actually loved Covid lockdowns and felt better than I had in years. Maybe trying something like taking a class just to get you out of your apt might help you too. It could be worth considering.
Bad psychotherapy doesn't help anyone. She did the right thing by quitting. I seriously doubt that anyone benefits from monthly appointments. Unfortunately, if this was a community care clinic, it might not even have been the therapist's fault. They are severely underfunded and understaffed with a high rate of burnout.
@@ems7623 And this is why I think mental health care is sadly severely flawed. Imo people should get that good therapist right away not go through hoops, because it just drains their motivation and they might even think of not seeing a therapist again and getting the help they need because of it.
I am in 8th grade and going to 9th grade this year. I have always thought that therapy was a waste of time because this person can't do anything to change my situation. But this video changed my thought and the way I see therapy now and I thank you Doctor Mike for changing the way I see therapy.
As a psychology student i really like this conversation about therapy. I too had therapy (from a medical psychologist) for my self esteem problems (related to my eczema and bullying). After that i'm even more motivated to get my bachelors and masters degree in Psychology 😄
I really want to study psychology too ppl say I would be a really good therapist but I don't think that's smth I wanna do but I still want to help ppl with mental health issues
The conversation on male vulnerability made me cry, I went to couples therapy with this girl I had been with for about 2 years and I was also working the the therapist separately, I was super closed up, because of the male stigma, my gf told me to open up about how I feel, I cried more that day than I ever have (I almost never cry) she broke up with me a week later because of the vulnerability. Guess whos now even more closed off.
You were with the wrong person for you. My boyfriend cries with me whenever he needs to and never in my life I though about breaking up because of that. She might also have broken up due to other issues and not you crying.
Hey bro she was not the good one, but try to talk about it to friends or family or people you like and trust. It helps a lot. Idk if you're still doing therapy but i believe it can help a lot if you find the right therapist
Remember that you didn't fail her, she failed you. Go on and keep your confidence up, i have lost my childhood to shame of not being strong enough, unaware of the strenght i actually had. I fight everyday to be less closed, but it's hard coded in me and it's not gonna be easy to fix. There is a reason why we say there's plenty of fish in the sea, it's not easy but there is someone out there who is worth it, don't stop looking even if you don't do it directly. Don't stop yourself for the past, keep looking forward.
Someone who is not afraid to open up makes it easier for their partner to open up too This is such an important thing to have in a relationship. Both parties should be able to express their feelings without fear of judgement or condescension, regardless of gender It takes real strength for a man to show their emotions in our society and there are plenty of people out there who value and respect men who do so
I love that this generation is all about emotional intelligence and taking care of yourself because I think we could all use a therapist. Thanks for advocating for mental health Dr. Mike 💛
As a person who has had physical pain since birth, I decided to see a therapist as an adult. I’ve been to about 7-8 therapists. We have moved a number of times but also I didn’t click with a few therapists. One confided in me that she was an alien from another star system. Another told me I was too intelligent for her to work with. One told me that all my pain was caused by the medication my doctors prescribed and I needed to quit them all at once. Each person has to sort through and get to a therapist who “fits!”
I’ve been seeing my therapist for depression and anxiety for a little over a year now. He is amazing! One of the best decisions I ever made in my life was reaching out to him and asking for help.
“All good therapy is self-therapy” is an old saying among therapists. Therapy is the development of skills that empower you to live a better life and that completes the treatment course. Like any treatment course, you may need a new course sometime, but dispel the fashionable idea that everyone should be a perpetual patient.
I've been in Therapy for close to 15-20 years, since I was a kid. While it has been hard to find a good match at times, when you find a good therapist that works for you, it's such an amazing experience. I am a huge mental health advocate. I've learned so much about myself, my perceptions of the world around me, and how to improve myself and become a person I can genuinely be happy with becoming.
This was the best Dr Mike video I've ever seen. I think everyone should see it. Mental health still too often has a stigma on it. This clip made absolutely clear, that psychotherapy is a good thing for anyone who has the feeling it could be right. Please make more mental health videos.🐀
My mom is a PhD psychologist and has done soooo much good. I grew up knowing how important mental health is and it's invaluable. Allowing yourself to talk to someone who is Trained and Educated and Licensed is something that can truly change your life for the better. I capitalize those words because they have the education and training to give the advice that truly can help you. Friends can give suggestions but advice is like giving non-paid medical advice.
I’m really liking your interest in mental health on your channel. Can’t wait to be a psychologist, this women seems like a good role model I’ll have to look her up. Great intelligent conversation! ❤
I tried therapy in middle school, and it was a traumatic experience and I haven’t been back.. it was helpful hearing about the good things, I kind of tend to forget how useful it can be for people and how much of a good thing it really can be
My daughter had a similar experience. It seems it's difficult to find a good therapist these days, or at least one that fits you particularly, and it's extremely frustrating.
My dream job is being a therapist and honestly this makes me sad people experience that, how can therapists, that have studied pschychology be that bad to cause someone else a trauma?? That's messed up
@@unpopularskyler7494 That’s common. There’s no oversight or regulation outside of earning a degree as far as I can tell. You get the right scores and suddenly you have the privilege of digging around inside someone’s head and straightening the contents. I have had far more bad therapists than good and gave up a long time ago. My experience primarily was misconceptions on their part and people who write on a clipboard the entire time while you tell them your life story. There never seemed to be a direction. It was them writing things down, me talking. No guidance. No insight. No method. You talked for 50 minutes, don’t forget your copay… assuming insurance covered it at all. And two weeks later they’d forgotten everything you said last time.
The first time I went it was a lotttt to take and low key traumatised me but I tried again because I needed help and I got better Some things were just difficult to accept
I've been in and out of therapy for 15 years. Alot of times it's just nice to talk to someone else. Therapy can be an amazing thing they can help you with SOOO much if you're willing to take the advice.
I met a bad therapist and it made my anxiety + depression worst. My therapist was an intern at a hospital. The session lasted for 1hr30mins and I cried for 1hr15mins lol. She didn't offer me any tissues and I had to run to the washroom with many people staring at me like I was some sort of freak. The worst part was that my condition became worst after that one session. My psychiatrist had to increase my dosage of anti-depressants for me to function normally again. Never went for therapy again. I am currently relying on anti-depressants.
It’s so sad that a place that should help you made it worse. I know it isn’t easy, but it would be great if you did find a good therapist, I encourage you to keep trying! ❤️
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Finding a good match when choosing to go thru the process of therapy can be really hard. My son had a similar situation happen and he chose not to go back. Now he's thinking of trying and do interviews with therapists first to figure out how they would work out as a team. If it's something possible for you, I hope it could be a solution. Good luck 💜
Interns are meant to make mistakes so that they can learn from them. I’m sure that person got talked to after that session. It’s awful that the “best” care that can be provided is someone who is still learning themselves; how does that help the patient who’s having that “emotional heart attack”?
I've been dealing with major depressive disorder for over ten years now and every doctor would say/do the same things. I was put on suicide watch for the first time and the crisis team was shocked to hear how many doctors just tried to give me a pill and send me away. The overall system is highly flawed
Thank you for talking about this topic. Sadly we still have a stigma surrounding mental health & often times people with mental illnesses are shamed for having them or even seen as dangerous because it is invisible most of the time. Finding a therapist is also something that not everyone can afford because insurances don't cover it like they should & even when someone does find a therapist (in network or not) they may not be the right one for them & then they have to find another person or if they do find the right one they may be paying a $100+ per month just because they're not covered by the insurance or the person has to pay a co-pays just to see someone
While I agree you shouldn't assume everyone is dangerous who has mental conditions it's still important that we acknowledge certain conditions can make people dangerous.
@@brothersandsistersofvalhalla This is true. There are certain conditions that can potentially make someone more dangerous but sadly many people don't know that it's a very small amount of people with mental illnesses & that early intervention can help them live a full life in society. They just think that if someone has a mental illness then this person can't function in society or are dangerous to themselves & everyone else when in reality most people with mental illnesses either aren't dangerous at all or are only dangerous to themselves. Very few are dangerous to other people & more often then not they are the victim of a crimes. And this is in no small part to the fact that society as a whole doesn't understand even basic psychology because it's not something that is taught as an optional class in college
I have not listened to all of this interview, but a red flag for me was how I felt after I left. I had a student therapist and every time I left her office, I felt worse. I ended up in the hospital because I ignored the bright red flag that was flashing right in front of me. For me, a good therapist will help you feel empowered when you leave.
hi doctor mike you probably won't see this I just wanted to say that you have really helped me throughout this year, you've made me laugh and smile with every video. No matter what the topic you always make it sound so fun and important. I will forever cherish your videos. I love you💕
I've heard someone say "Therapy is not personalized its general and it's read from a book that has nothing to do with me so no I'm not getting therapy". So Doctor Mike I thank you for making this video. As someone with Autism and other mental struggles I regularly use mental therapy. And I can say it helps if you're open to it. Alot of people I know go in with closed arms and not really willing to accept the process and let it work. And that's wrong because that's a person yelling for help but not accepting it when it's given to them. I know because I used to be this person too. Initially I rejected therapy. It wasn't till I opened my arms and allowed myself to accept the process that it started to work for me. And I've improved so much because of it. Thank you Thank you Doctor Mike. Mental Health is important. And people that need this should allow the process to work. 👍
Sometimes you need to go into the therapy room and just learn to trust first, because it doesn’t come naturally for many. If you don’t have a secure attachment style, or have cptsd, it can be really hard to ask for help even though you scream for it inside. I’m like that. Any therapist should be prepared to earn the trust of the patient first.
What you just did was perfectly describe a generalization. What about someone who does go in with open arms, someone who knows they have an issue, and what if it doesn't help? As they touched in this video, there are people who are bad at their job, and not all of us have a successful doctor practice and a booming YT channel and MILLIONS of dollars to afford quality care. If you are poor and constantly just struggling to breath/survive, can barely afford to feed yourself and your only option is the "free therapy'' offered by some of these clinics, it doesn't work. Either my problems are too big for these inexperienced therapists, or like regular medicine, maybe I need to see some sort of therapy specialist, which I can't afford. Or what about the notion no one seems to understand, but what if this stuff is like cancer, what if not everything is curable/talkable/etc etc. I am broken and there's too many pieces to put back together. I'm the car equivalent of a beater. There's no point in putting more money into this money pit, it's time to let me die and move on.
@Adept Man, I’m not even going to pretend like I can understand the pain you are going through. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, whether you believe it or not. I’ll believe in it for you. Stay strong and keep fighting
As an autistic myself I don't think therapy does always gives us that assurance and outcome what we need. Or I would say therapy is only made for neurotypical people with mental illnesses not the people with disabilities or neurological conditions.
I started therapy after opening up to my doctor about my suicidal thoughts. It has helped SO MUCH. Iv gone a year without another attempt and im on the road to graduating highschool and becoming an EMT💪🏼
Glad to hear it! Wishing you all the success in your path to being an EMT and helping people! Even if that path doesn't end up being the one for you, please don't get discouraged or see it as a failure. Also, try your best not to get burnt out, even if you'd need to change careers to get enough rest and avoid that burnout.
It feels to me like therapy is more in demand because of society becoming increasingly apathetic and theres an increasing de-sensitisation or de-humanization of people, and so many people are looking for a reason to hate more than to love. It's not possible to open up to an acquaintance in some instances without fracturing that relationship, and that void has to be filled by therapists instead.
There’s a lack of community and mutual respect in addition to false narratives about who we and other people we’ve never met are. And yet we find a little community here on this channel, for all we don’t know each other’s faces or voices. Each person has the possibility to be the change they want to see, it just seems lately the positive changes people want are getting bogged down by the overflow of negative changes. There are A LOT of Hurt People out there hurting people.
I think therapy is more in demand because more and more people normalize going into therapy. It was a real stigma, and still is in a lot of cases, but luckily it's fading. If you open up to someone and that fractures your relationship, that person wasn't probably worthy of being your friend.
Mmm, I think people getting more apathic is not the problem per se... more like, due to social media and people now just exposing themselves to the world, we see more of that on a daily basis. But people in general have been apathetic since the beginnings of time. We just see it more often, or due to us being in the age of information and tecnology, we are more aware of it and can recognize apathy at a glance.
I remember when was in elementary and middle school, I struggled with bullying and my mom would always say that things will only get worse when I get older and that girls are always mean to each other. In all fairness, she was kind of right. Those girls were always mean to me and each other. But I cannot forget how ignored I felt when my mom refused to even reach out to my bully's parents to help me find a resolution. I was 9-11, what was I supposed to do?
My mom helped me by telling the teachers about it and it only made things worse for me. The reachers saw her as a karen and made me a target of adults bullying a kid under their care. Perhaps what your mom did was for the best. Only teachers can stop bullying and unfortunately, they're a part of it. When teachers target a kid, other kids who weren't bullying you before join in as well
This one is one of his best. The way they open up the discussion about vices and coping mechanisms that get overlooked as signs of true depression (especially in men) is incredible. I love the term of "emotional heart attack" because it's true - most people belittle and try to minimize what they're experiencing to avoid having to face what they're going through until the world is crashing down on them. Only when Atlas buckles under the external and internal pressures of the world do we tend to draw the conclusion is "Hey something might be wrong now".
Therapy has never helped me, and on rare occasions, it made me feel worse. Any real help I got was from friends or my parents. I've been in therapy for years and have been as honest as possible to no avail. I quit a few weeks ago and I feel happier without it. My anxiety condition has improved when I *left* therapy! 😊
I have had the unfortunate case of having bad therapy experiences, in elementary school I was in a therapy group and a nickname got leaked and I was bullied with it on top of already having a bullying problem. I was taken to a Psychiatrist who gave me medication and that I met with weekly but he only gave me tests and then stuck me in a room with cartoons while he told my mom everything that was going on. I have friends who have been getting therapy for years and they have had bad experiences as well, but despite all of this I still believe most people will benefit from going to a therapist and that it can help them if they attend for a period of time sufficient for overcoming their issue. Be careful to not overstay because that can cause it's own problems.
I relate to this so much. I had a school therapist once and she did absolutely nothing for me. And all the other kids knew why I was being pulled out of class every day so the bullying and abuse they gave me every day just got more intense.
I am soo sorry this happened to you. The best place to start finding a good therapist is actually friends, peers, people you respect, or Look up to, also support groups online can be truly amazing. I wish you the best. And truly am sorry for your experience during a time you needed someone. ♥️
@@BigGayIncorporated I'm so sorry this happened to you. I didn't have successful therapy until I sought it outside of school unfortunately. I'm not sure if the therapists there aren't trained as well or if they are just specifically aimed at something different? I was being abused by my parent and my (high school) therapist was like "well maybe she's just trying to show/tell you she loves you and you're misunderstanding". I had literally shown up, basically crying, asking for an emergency counseling appointment. And reported it as potential abuse. I'm pretty sure they're required to report that?? Anyway, my point is, if you haven't tried beyond a school therapist and still feel that you might need the help, I would suggest trying it.
There are deffinatly good and bad therapist. I've literally been gaslit by therapist, telling me what I was experiencing was NOT abuse, which is a really fucked up thing to say to someone trying to better themselves and reaching out fot help.
How is it like? Hearing her say that we're "unreliable narrators" and that we are telling a "subjective" version of our story makes me kinda scared. I wanna feel better, cheer up and find ways to cope better but i dont know if i want to talk to anyone who's gonna say that what i'm feeling isnt real 😢😢😢 im so tired and scared. Im glad your therapy worked for u! Hugs ❤️
I've been bulimic and struggling with bingeing and purging. As well as bpd, bipolar disorder, reactive attachment disorder, cptsd, anxiety, and ADHD I have been in therapy since I was four. (One of the only good things about the foster system) it didn't become beneficial until I finally came to terms with the immense guilt, trauma and everything else I held onto and masked with anger. I viewed that fear as weakness. It's taking a long time. I'm trying to undo 2 decades worth of pain but I make progress. Even if other people don't notice it. I feel it. I'm still working up to facing the fear of social rejection and leaving my apartment more.
I'm so happy you are finally feeling a difference! I know it can take a lot of time to work through it all, but it is so important to keep putting the work into yourself, because you are worth it. I hope you keep doing better and better!
@lydsmartin23 it helps but there are so many different kinds it's taken me almost 20 years and constant adjustments to find what works for me. You must remember that a lot of disorders have overlapping symptoms. There are more affordable options for diagnostic tests and cheap insurance (or your parents insurance)
As someone who's been in therapy at least monthly for several years and as someone who is less than a year from graduating with a master's degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, I am PSYCHED that you made this video!!
I had social anxiety disorder and went to see a therapist first. The therapist helped me a lot to see my patterns but said medications are not needed for your condition. I was able to see my patterns but i couldn't control or stop those intense emotional outbursts and implement different behaviours... Finally i thought to give a psychiatrist a try... He prescribed me some SSRIs which work like magic with some life style changes like regular exercise.. I was feeling a lot confident ... Less intense emotional outbursts ... And being able to apply what i learned in psychotherapy... My point is Therapists should have some knowledge about conditions that require medications and should direct to a psychiatrist also when necessary....
Yes, absolutely yes, for me it happened kind of the opposite, I've been struggling with depresión and anxiety for some time and just recently started therapy, my therapist almost inmediatly explained to me that we would be discussing the source of my struggles and identifying if they were external or internal, and then told me that if they were internal I might need some extra help with a psychiatrist and medication, after some sessions she told me that yes, I need that extra help, so I hope soon I'll be able to start with the medications I seem to need. Sorry for any errors, not a native English speaker 🙃.
I know at my therapy building they come with psychiatrist kind of. I went to a psych ward where I was prescribed meds so I already had to go to the psychiatrist which was at the same building as my therapist
Totally agree. Stigma around mental health medication is still heavily present despite therapy becoming more accepted. It frustrates me because my medication literally saved my entire well-being. While getting the proper med and dose nailed down, I very clearly could see my irrational thinking and behaviors manifesting but couldn't control them. Once I was taking the proper stuff, it was like everything suddenly clicked one day. I finally felt in control rather than my brain controlling me. What's amazing is that toxic thought patterns I assumed were totally normal were so much easier to get rid of and change. For those who feel trapped in their head, medication may be the only answer and that should be perfectly acceptable. These are proper chemical imbalances that can only be controlled so much through exercise and diet (which can and do help).
I am bipolar and have been in therapy for years to help deal with high emotions and really bad sudden depression cause we didn't know I was bipolar at the time and it wasn't until a severely bad manic ep to psychotic depression that she realized I was bipolar and instantly got an appt with a psychiatrist and got medicated and all that stopped next day. For the first time in my life I was really okay. Therapy isnt going to change my brain structure and wiring. Makes me wish I didn't allow my mom's perception of medications to hold me back from getting them for so long
@@stilljustliam9196 It's taken me a long time to realize that medication is management, not cheating. I'm so glad your meds worked so well and quickly.
I have 2 things to say about therapy. I don't get anything new out of it that I don't get from talking to my friends. One friend asks so many types of questions like one! I am on meds for bipolar disorder also, so I am fine with what I have. I am also super happy about this video!! Therapy is not for everyone, but it DOES HELP a lot of people, so if you feel like you need to talk with someone, please do it!!!
I've been in therapy before for my anxiety. It's helped me a lot. Mental health is super important to me, and so is art. So I'm actually planning on studying to be an art therapist! Therapy is something that has helped me with my mental health, and I want to return the favor. Being able to help others with their mental health means a lot, because it's important to me
I went to a psychologist... at the end of the hour when we were done with introductions basically, she just said something along the lines "You're doing great and your goals are valid." and it was enough. I never went back. I never knew I needed to hear that so much it caused me so much depression and anxiety. That was 4 years ago. I feel inadequate in everything and disappointing everyone I cared about constantly. This is the only thing I need to hear to reset my mind... When my mom said it I cried... When my husband said it I cried... And when my friend said it I cried...
I teared up in the doctors office last week because she asked what was going on in my life and I shared my grief about the death of a close family member that happened recently. She was very kind but then asked if I needed depression/anxiety meds. I said no I don’t think so. I think I’m just a “normal sad” right now, and I am working through it on my own, Day by day.
I'm sorry to hear that. Doesn't sound like your doctor knows what they're doing. Unfortunately many GPs asumme they're qualified to make these calls, when they are really not. I've had my own experience with this. Situational depression CAN become clinical, but as long as it is situational, medication is rarely a good option. While dwelling is harmful, we need to FEEL our pain to move on from the pain. It's okay, even good sometimes to feel bad. Blocking it out will just mean you need to deal with it later, and it's worse, because you get use to not feeling fully. Don't get me wrong, I've been on antidepressants, and they saved my life, but my depression was very bad, and what was happening in my life didn't have much, or any effect on it. It sounds like made a good choice. Take care of yourself.
There are so many golden nuggets in this video. If you’ve been to therapy, are thinking of going, are surrounded by people who confide in you on a daily/weekly/monthly basis, or are a card carrying member of the human race…this is for you.
I got shot a couple years ago and all my "Doctor" told me was "You know that probably won't happen again right?" Good talk, I'm an introvert with aspergers and avoidant personality disorder, that interaction was not a real faith bringer. But I love this and love your videos!
The way Dr Mike is listening with his mind and body language is just soooo comforting and relaxing 🥺🥰☺️🙏🏻 It even made me feel heard and safe in the way he showed he really listened and understood or related to everything Lori said!
As someone who has suffered from PTSD that had been brushed off or ignored by therapists/Physicians for many years, my last therapy session gave me more help and movement forward than I have for years. Validation was the top point of discussion. Yes you do this, this is why. Do you do this? Yes that's a common coping mechanism...and the introduction of EMDR and other things that I can do to make it through triggering of circumstances and possibly head them off. Too many think that PTSD has to be one huge tragedy or trauma. I learned that Too Much Too Soon, Too Much Too Often, and Too Little Too Long is just as traumatic for a person. My "homework" is to listen to the BEYOND TRAUMA PODCASTS. These have been so enlightening! Validation is critical for some to be able to move on with healing as well and what to do about symptoms.
I had to go through four therapists before I found someone who clicked and worked for me. Don't be afraid to keep trying if you feel like therapy isn't working for you too.
I hear that myself and it’s ridiculous we need and want many things in life. The way you respond by facial expression is right on point. You seem to have an open mind. That’s a big difference between people. Just your eyes show a lot alone. Most people don’t get the aspect, but it’s an amazing trait to understand others and help whenever possible.
Dr. Mike, I cannot express enough how happy I am that you have addressed the realm of healthcare that so often has a bad rap. I've always had a high respect for you and what you do. Then this video comes along and raises the bar of respect. Thank you. We need more doctors like you.
As a recent master's social work graduate specializing in mental health LOVED LISTENING TO THIS CONVERSATION IN THIS CHANNEL. I have noticed how mental health has been introduced to this channel slowly but the focus has been more medical. For example about diagnoses, medications, or psychiatry. And mental health is more than that. Is more than a diagnosis/ DSM-5. I am very glad that the human experience outside and inside of treatment was the focus here, as well, as the different treatments and professionals available to provide this service.
About "idiot compassion" I hate it when people do it, specially when they do it to kids, that will create bad behaviors, you have to be real if you care for real for your friends wellbeing. I'm not a therapist, but when someone tells me his/her problems, I'm honest with them, but with respect and encouragement.
Definitely. Too many people don't understand being on someone's side isn't always the same as taking their side. The blindly agreeing part of idiot compassion, that's not something I believe in at all. Everyone in my life knows better than to expect it from me. I'll listen without giving an opinion, if requested(will often ask if they want to hear my thoughts), or it doesn't seem like a good time, but I'll never tell someone they're completely in the right, when they aren't. Just listening, and not offering solutions, or insight, that can be very helpful. For example, I've suffered from insomnia literally since infancy, I don't need someone who has only had trouble sleeping when highly stressed, or drinking too much caffeine telling me how to treat my clinical disorder. That happens a lot, when all I want is someone to listen. I also volunteer at the Canadian Mental Health Association, and won't get into that, but had an experience on my way into a meeting once. There was a man who had filled out some paperwork, looking for housing, arguing with the receptionist. He was very distressed because of how difficult it was to get everything he needed to apply for housing. He thought he had was finished, and just needed to submit it. He was having a breakdown, and the receptionist was trying to get him thinking rationally, and explaining that she couldn't do anything. She even said 'calm down', never wise. He was getting more worked up, he did understand the situation, just was too upset. She looked like she was wondering if she needed to call the police. I just looked at the man, and said 'it can be really hard trying to get important things sorted out with the ministry,'. You could see the tension drain out of him, his shoulders dropped, he looked at me, and said 'yeah, it can'. He was still upset, but calm. All he needed was someone to tell him he was justified in being upset. Being there, without trying to make things right, that can be powerful. Reinforcing bad decision making, and delusions, that's harmful, to everyone involved.
I was a teacher for 20 years and my biggest pet peeve was how as educators (and parents) we are quick to label kids. When we do that, those kids can start defining themselves by those labels instead of thinking outside of their "issues" and stand tall in who they are. I tried very hard to see the kid first before I saw any "label" (eg. ADHD, as having a Learning Disability, Anxiety etc...) Everyone is bigger and better than the labels we as a society put on them. Like Dr. Mike has said about patients being human first, teachers need to teach the human first and address everything else secondarily.
just this morning I saw how my mother-in-law's mental pain affected her physical condition and it scared me so much. because of the stigma about mental health in rural area is just the worst and she cares about what people say so much it hurts her physically, the devil's loop. I can't even suggest about mental therapy because I know how unheard it'd be. and she's old and she lives in the mountains where mental health providers are basically none. so I just sat there after my husband and her husband (I'm always terrified of people grunting in pain) dealt with her physical pain and listened to her venting. I wished I could do more. and here I am also venting because I'm one of those help-refusing complainer 🙂
I feel this way with my Dad. Unfortunately it's a devil's loop. It's like one person in a family leads to a pattern. My Grandmother was also a help-refusing complainer (his mother-in-law). Depression doesn't run in families but the reaction, how you connect, it creates more stigma almost.
@@prissylovejoy702 nah. I think it wouldn't work whatever the answer is. I will still think that it wouldn't work and wouldn't even bother to actually try. that's the annoying part of being a help-refusing complainer 😢
@@雪名馨 If you are aware of yourself, you have the ability to change as well, you know. (: You can break the cycle. A lot easier said than done though, I know.
I'm so used to "The Truth about.." Things being "It's really the opposite of what you think" and my mind has been reversed on therapy so much that I forget that the rest of the world has misconceptions on therapy being really negative and for half a min I really thought Doctor Mike was about to bash on therapy and I was about ready to throw hands. It's helped me uncover some things really recently and I'm not miraculously healed or anything but I've finally found a hint of hope in the future and I'm so freaking happy about it. I hope others who need it can receive therapy that is helpful for them I know some experiences can be difficult and disheartening but having an outside perspective can be really helpful sometimes.
This was such a great interview! My nurse practitioner helped me to find my therapist and I am so happy he did. I trusted him to recommend someone who I would mesh well with, so I fully support primary care physicians being apart of the conversation. My therapist office is truly a safe space that I believe everyone deserves to have. I actually appreciated that my therapist is in therapy and it made me feel understood. I also asked about cultural competence and I'm grateful that i did...as a POC woman that was a concern of mine and she understood. I'm definitely downloading her book ❤️
When I told my dad the doctor said I needed therapy he thought I was joking. He was supportive but it just goes to show an outsider can be so important. Therapy was amazing for me.
I want to thank u I had a doctors appointment the other day and because of ur videos I felt more comfortable asking questions and felt more in control of my health. Ur videos made me understand doctors and nurses better so I could ask these questions. So thank you so much!
I do therapy and mostly talk about my past friendship issues and stuff like that. It really does help. It’s nice talking to someone that doesn’t judge with you and trust worthy.
"EVERYONE can benefit from therapy." What I always heard from my mother when I started therapy years ago. Since then I've healed more in the past few years than in the first 18 years of my life. We ALL have problems, we ALL need help, and we ALL need to heal.
i recently experience a very traumatic event while at work and while a therapist didn't directly help me with my problems they did direct me toward the resources that have been helping me
I've been in therapy since 2009. PTSD, depression and generalised anxiety disorder with panic attacks. I was diagnosed by a Psychiatrist. I took medication originally for all of these but with therapy l came off all medication. Therapy definitely changed my life for the better after trauma. I've learned so much about myself. Great video. Thanks Dr. Mike. ❤
Currently in my second year of my doctorate program for clinical psychology, and I really enjoyed this video. Thank you both Dr. Mike and Lori for spreading awareness and making mental health a little less taboo!
When I was become therapist I'm incounter patients got a truema and depression experiences, some are stroke causes. Sad stories from my clients, I learned more motivation, give advice to them & until me become advicer to them also. The good and bad relationship action of the patients. I'm to much related to this topics because me too also survive in depression , I thought I'm good enough therapist for my clients. I learn more & more until I found a good key of a good therapist in life. I love Lori's the way she delivers her thoughts topic and learn also her good advices . God bless Doc Mike 🙏
I didn't know that therapy was still so stigmatized, in this day and age. I'm so grateful for those that hold high social standing, who are bringing to light that therapy and mental health care are completely normal if not necessary, for all.
I do think most people would benefit with therapy, not in a regular session type things, but if you're moving, switching jobs, just stressed, or anything. Having that outside opinion is very beneficial (to most)
Even though therapy seems like just talking, it can really help because if you talk to someone you can feel like you're not alone and you're being heard.
On the idea of practicing. One of the best descriptions of therapy is that it is a training ground for real life. A part of therapy is healing what’s wrong, but the other part is learning the skills needed to survive life and thrive.
This is eye opening and so helpful ! Thank you Dr. Mike, we need more of this kind of content, real talk on how mental health and physical health are so intertwined.
So much appreciation to Dr. Mike for speaking up for people who are having trouble motivating, and specifically for pointing out how difficult it can be to try to find the right therapist for you when you're already having motivation issues
This is a great topic. In my experience, I have seen several social workers that shared too much of their own struggles. Rather than come across as relatable, they seemed like too much of a mess to be of help to anyone. My sessions at the low-income clinics focused too much on “mommy issues” to help me with my current situations. I get that history informs the past, but some therapists take it too far. They did diagnose me with dysthymia (double depression), but I don’t have what it takes to navigate US insurance to try to find someone else. The turnover at the community clinic meant that I never formed a relationship with “my” therapist. I gave up on the system and am suffering to this day.
When I needed to see someone, I remember that I was concerned that the psychiatrist I would go to would be (more or less discreetly) a psychoanalyst who would want to make me talk about my mother, when my problem was a work-related burnout. Thankfully I found a great doctor.
When I started therapy. I never realized I suffered from depression and an Eating Disorder. It shocked me because I didn’t realize these problems I had were serious. Because to me saying you have depression or even an eating disorder are big problems in the world today. And it seems like everyone’s got something. Therapy is my favorite part of my week now. I look forward to it. My mental state has improved. And of course I have ups and downs. But it’s truly helped me. And I’ve encouraged my friends to go too!
Thank you for highlighting this taboo topic Dr Mike & Lori.I had a good cry for about 10 minutes listening to you - definitely something you mentioned that triggered it,but it was a good cry nonetheless.Very insightful indeed.Thank you yet again Dr Mike for these type of content on your channel,always helpful & resourceful and much appreciated.🤗
Glad this conversation resonated with you! I hope you'll check out my book, Maybe You Should Talk To Someone, to explore more of these ideas through the stories of real people.
Thank you,I will definitely look into checking out your book.I believe the video above came at the right time for me,I needed to see it,so it's now up to me to take the next step.Again,thank you,much appreciated.Take care 🤗
Oh wow. Thank you Dr. Mike and Lori . I have had 50+ mental health professionals over my years of mental health journey. I was told "you're too difficult, I don't suit you", " you're too complicated or complex" and everything else. I'm not one to talk about my issue anymore as all these statements have made me a closed book. I have been hospitalised monthly, when I used to open up, so I used to give up and be down to the point of sometimes no return until I found the psychologist, who hasn't kicked me, but my journey is just one story of many. You take one step every time you walk. So get up, and step closer to getting yourself better. "It is a mental exercise with a personal trainer, you will see results" - My 26th Mental health professional You will get through this, we all love you and you will make it though ❤️
I had a therapy session last week for the first time in two years. I deal with general anxiety disorder, adhd, depression, and ptsd. Some of these I picked up as a result of child abuse and growing up in a cult. I honestly thought I’d worked through nearly all of my issues and trauma of the past. To the point where I could talk about these things without breaking down or crying or it affecting me emotionally. But lately I’ve been having bad panic attacks and I didn’t know why. She had me tell her my ‘life story’ and I ended up crying my eyes out at the end because she kept telling me how much I deserved love and happiness or how strong I was or how far I’ve come with my growth. I haven’t really ever had people tell me that verbally out loud. Other than from myself. Therapy is just a wonderful tool that really helps you get back to enjoying life. Sometimes you need it to learn how to adult socially when your parents never did. Sometimes you need it for the support or growth. It’s literally for everyone and there is just no excuse not to go talk to someone.
Seeing the patient behind the diagnosis is huge point touched on in this video I love. A nurse once told me to change the I am to I have because the diagnosis does not define who you are and what you are capable of. An example would be instead of saying "I am a diabetic or I am bipolar." Say "I have diabetes or I have bipolar." Its what made me go into healthcare.
I have a very similar experience to what Dr Mike said early in the video. Some times therapy made my symptoms worse. It wasn’t until I was in medical school that I realized I was in the wrong type of therapy for me. Now I do a lot of self work at home and do a check in every 3-6 months and have been doing well for around 7 years. When I feel my tension buildup I now have tools to moderate without harm.
I'm totally sending this episode to my best friend, who is a therapist. Though my best friend does not give me therapy as we both agree our friendship is more important, I seek treatment on my own.
Just listening to her talk really makes me think about the rough that's all in my life currently and that those emotions are something real and true and that often need to be expressed. Thanks for the videos, I really enjoy them! ❤
The fact I have an therapist that helps me with my vocabulary, this video made me happy! Love you dr. Mike, continue these helpful, enjoyable videos The reason I have vocal therapy is that I spoke only at 4 years old, a bit too soon
I developed ocd symptoms around 7yrs old. I never spoke about it because i didn't understand it so i just hid it. I got to 14 and was having sleeping problems and developed depressive symptoms until it escalated. Getting help was so hard because of the area i lived in. They tried to put me in s box but because i had a 'good life' the public system didnt want me. I was diagnosed with ocd, mdd and asd. Im now 19 and have come so far and am so thankful i found a psychologist who understands ocd and can help. It was very hard to find someone who really understood ocd because no one i had previously seen really understood it.
I just started watching but i already want to thank you for covering that topic. People, go to therapy. You can learn a lot about yourself and you not just have someone to talk, you get a professional advice.
Professional. Huh. Psychology is this science of generalizing about people and claiming to help them by dropping in leadig questions and providing nothing constructive in return. I have had exactly one good one and even he missed the core issues in some areas while helping in others. They get their degrees then they fasten onto pet philosophies and help exactly no one. There’s no oversight, no regulation, and no refunds if they pick your brain for an hour and recommend a book.
@@BeeWhistler Im sorry to hear that you had such a bad experience with therapy. I dont live in the US, i live in Europe and here you can get really professional help from people who know what they are doing. I go to a specialist for autism, there are also some that are focused on kids or relationships etc. My therapist is helping me to work on my fears, to work on understanding other people, their body language, we do some kind of "guided training" to help me practice. Im really happy with her, she actually does help me. Hope you also find a good therapist thats really helpful for you. (sorry for my bad english, its not my native language.)
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I remember being in 8th grade, battling anorexia and bulimia when I read Lori's oldest book "Stick Figure". Ever since then I have been committed to recovery. It hasn't exactly been an easy road, and I've had slip ups, but that book put a lot of things into perspective for me and I could relate heavily to her experience.
Oh, I'm glad you could gather up the courage to willingly recover. I hope you are doing better now and I hope you can be happy in the future 😊
I feel like I resonate a lot with what you said except I’m recovering from substance abuse and what put things into perspective for me was being put in mental hospital for a week. The way you describe relating with her experience and it putting things into perspective is so heavy. Feeling alone is one of the reasons I never had the will to recover before
Wow I’m so happy for you 💛
I would struggle with anorexia when i was in 8th grade too and im really happy that your recovering
Don't read my name!
"Before diagnosing people with depression, make sure they are not surrounded by assholes"
Nicely said!
Sooooo true
Some people who are said to have depression are actually just surviving extremely difficult life situations and should be congratulated for making it through
Honestly made me reevaluate how my home life affected me
I think the thing Dr.Mike does best is not giving into the click bait/ fear mongering side of youtude and entertainment. The fact that he isn't using his platform to hock some kinda snake oil is really a testament to his character and profession.
It really just feels like your local PCP picked up a camera to discuss what's important to them, and have fun along the way.
He's a positive presence on an otherwise toxic internet and I hope he and his team keep up this kinda content.
I’m so glad to hear you say being sad is different from depression. ❤ I’m not sure if a lot of people know that. My fiancé passed away and everyone told me I was depressed. I kept saying, I’m sad, I have every right to be sad, I’m grieving. It was like they didn’t understand the concept. It was so weird.
Yes very true a big difference.... I've had to deal with both depression and anxiety from breast cancer etc which I brushed off till this year and my dad passing away in which I was absolutely wrecked emotionally about as a family argument and I never got to say goodbye.. So it all came to a head trying to deal with all these emotions plus marriage seperation and domestic violence.... Yes sadness is sadness which passes in time if people leave you be and let you be sad it's not illegal to be sad.. Depression is next level and I think this day and age people are all too busy trying to put a label on it!!! Or should say label the human who is going thru whatever they Just need to label you...
PS -- I do hope you are better now meaning that some of your sadness has lessened....❤
Well said. I've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder for some time now, and it worries me when, so often, some friend will say "I think I have depression. X happened and it's all I can think about."
Typically I just listen, recommend a therapy visit, etc., but depression can be so malicious. Being "depressed" can be a symptom of depression, but it's one of many and the semantics of the two words confuses people into thinking sad = depression. Not to mention the weirdly romanticized idea behind depression or attempting to garner attention by saying you have depression.
To anyone listening, if you suspect at all that you have depression: SEE YOUR DOCTOR.
If you are sad because something sad happened, you likely don't have a disorder. It's okay to be sad. But hey, maybe also see a therapist because they can help.
In either case, be well y'all.
Oh damn I can only imagine your pain. Hope all is well in your life now.
I feel like in that specific scenario sadness can feel pretty similar to depression though. That feeling when someone is gone forever and you literally don’t feel like doing anything in the world other than sitting/laying down thinking about them. It’s more of a feeling of apathy than sadness in particular. That doesn’t feel the same as other types of sadness to me.
Can we get more podcast style videos like this about mental health/physical health omg this was so nice to listen to in the background.
I really like HealthyGamer. It's a UA-cam/twitch channel and it's a variety of topics. Most like this where it's just in the background.
Yes!!!
I think there would be more engagement if they were in smaller bites like the normal videos. With ads, this is over 2 hours long.
@@OGimouse1 Not sure if this is helpful, but I listen in small bites by saving it.
Ditto, what you said.
When I first started therapy, I was really nervous about not being able to trust my therapist. My Dad said, look at the first session as a first date. She’s getting to know you, and if at the end you don’t feel comfortable or right with it, you don’t go back and you find someone else.
Sounds like your Dad is an emotionally intelligent guy! 😊 I hope your journey is full of learning and discovery.
That's an excellent way of putting it. I appreciate that he explained that it's okay to find another therapist if the fit doesn't seem right. Many people either don't realize that it's their right as a patient, or they feel guilty or something.
Sound advice, and a very apt analogy.
Mnm
Almost wish I’d followed this advice.
My first therapist was a disaster… burnt out, phoning it in, counting the days ‘til retirement. 😒
But the experience led to my second therapist, who was the best possible person I could’ve ever gotten.
So, it did kinda work out for the best. Maybe the worst would’ve been getting an ‘adequate’ therapist right off the bat, who probably I would’ve felt no reason to ditch, and would’ve stuck with.
I did grief therapy after the passing of my 34 yo daughter. i found her body. i was in total guilt, not that i did anything wrong, but because i should have done more right, in my mind. my therapist helped me so much. i understand now i will never get over the loss but can try to accept and go on with my life. she was the first and only one who felt ok for me to talk to. she did not judge me. she let me talk, cry, get mad, and everything else. where as my friends and family were uncomfortable to talk about it. i needed to talk about it. i thank my therapist every day
I am sorry for your loss.
I'm truly sorry for your indescribable loss. I'm coming up on the one year mark of losing my 17 year old son. Desperately trying to find a "good" grief therapist because I'm not in a good place.
So sorry for your loss..
@@tkinquisitive2803 i applaud you for doing everything you can to get help! Recognizing that you need it is the first step on an agonizing journey
I'm sorry about your loss. Personally I wanted to do the same thing but I didn't. Unfortunate your daughter couldn't feel the same feelings as me and I'm sorry for that.
Therapy has been a literal LIFESAVER for me. If I didn't have therapists (and a psychiatrist) then I'm not sure where I would be. They really helped me work my way through my mental illnesses and stabalize them. I am so greatful for that, I feel worlds better than I ever imagined I could be feeling before I went in. I went so long not knowing what was going on with me that it's still fresh and I'm working my way back up. No matter how weak or pointless you think therapy is, chances are it can help you in ways you never would've guessed.
When it comes to kids worrying or feeling sad or angry, one thing I learned is that when we minimize teenagers’ or tweens’ feelings, it really doesn’t help. Their lives are short and they have fewer experiences than adults and are experiencing lots of things for the first time. When a teen says “this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me” it very well could be, even if to an adult it seems like a minor problem. Dismissing their feelings won’t help them deal with their problems.
like homer simpson says, "the worst day of your life SO FAR..." lol
Yes, this is a great point and I think one of the reasons why many young people don't feel safe talking to adults. It happened with me a lot as a teenager, and instead of being heard and asked, I was told something like: "You're just being dramatic."
I'm not a parent yet but as a teacher and a mentor, I work hard at not minimizing my students and mentees' feelings. I find it hugely disrespectful to the young person when an adult rolls their eyes or says things like: "What do you know about love? ou're just a kid."
I can’t open up to teachers or other adults for this reason. The constant mentally of “kids don’t have real problems” is so enforced and many feel like they can’t talk about their struggles because they’re “too young” or “don’t suffer as much”. I’ve always felt safer talking to my friends rather than adults because my friends actually understand, they listen and they try to offer support instead of just downplaying what I’m going through. Many adults think kids are stupid, which is what reinforces this idea that they shouldn’t be feeling this way and that it’s invalidated.
@@MeemahSN I completely empathize. When I was a kid, I very much felt that way and had a lot of issues with not being understood and heard. The reality is "adults" were once kids too, though I think many of them forget that. Unpleasant as my experiences were with adults, I did have some with whom I felt safe and who became my mentors. And, it's largely why I became a teacher and why I'm so passionate about mentoring and helping youth.
@@MeemahSN you are so right on so many levels. I also feel more comfortable talking to my close friends about my problems because they listen to me rather then my parents they’d rather just dismiss my problems.
AMEN! @30:00 - When you have mental health problems, navigating the mental health system is the worst, most soul-crushing experience there is. It's like telling the guy with the multiple compound leg fractures that all he has to do is simply walk a mile to the hospital right over there and they'll treat him.
I just graduated from therapy because I made so much progress! I was going for almost 3 years to help with my anxiety and depression. Best choice I ever made for myself and I always tell people that it’s okay to talk to a therapist because they’re there to help💝💝
Congratulations I too have graduated after 2 years of therapy
❤
Thank you for mentioning the time it took. My dad was on my case and trying to "push me" to "push myself" more, and now dislikes my therapist or thinks there is either something else wrong with me, or that I need a new one, when in reality these things just take time to work through. I'm a lot better than a few years ago, even though I admit that my case is complicated and that can slow progress with some setbacks.
I've been seeing this therapist since around 2019 I think, because I remember having in person sessions and then switching to online because of the pandemic starting. During 2022, I've had the best year I've had for mental health milestones that I've had since 2016 or so. I'm in a rut again right now since I'm in between jobs, but that growth is still there even if I'm having a setback right now. 👍
So glad to hear that! Good for you!
To quote one of my favorite professors. “How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can’t change the lightbulb, they can only give the lightbulb the tools and support to change itself.” Therapists can help give you insight, support and tools to change/process/cope, you have to be the one to do the work. I wish more people understood that. You’re also not always going to walk away from each session feeling “better,” therapy is like brining an infection up to the surface so that it can heal and cleaning out the wound, that’s uncomfortable and sometimes painful. You also are able to heal and move forward. Sometimes you’re not going to like something your therapist says or the feedback they give you and it’s almost always because deep down you know they’re right.
You do need to trust and like your therapist in order to build rapport, that also takes time. Validation does not equal approval. Your therapist may provide validation for what you talk about, and how it’s impacted you.
My first real experience with therapy as an adult. I suffer from complex PTSD, social anxiety and agoraphobia. I get panic attacks just from leaving my apartment, or when I'm falling asleep. It took me nearly two years to build up to the point where I could set up an appointment with my therapist. The first visit absolutely drained me and I didn't go back for two months. Same for the second visit, but this time I went back after 5 weeks. After the third visit the therapist told me I wasn't trying and made me feel guilty because I had only had 3 appointments in 3 months. It honestly broke me until I got notice that they were quitting and I realized they were just an overall crappy therapist.
They really are a shitty therapist
You deserve better
I hope you find a good therapist one worth stepping out that front door for. I know mine helped me when I was too scared to even leave my room
I was in a similar situation a few years ago and I was not been able to find a good therapist. I was able to make progress on my own by leaving my apt every day, little by little. At first it was just opening the front door and walking down the hall. Eventually I enrolled in a class at a local community college just to force myself to leave. It was really hard though. I still have CPTSD and it’s associated symptoms, but I can leave my apt and do necessary things like shopping for groceries and those things now. I never did end up finding a good therapist though.
On a positive note, when Covid lockdowns came around I had no problems staying at home lol. I actually loved Covid lockdowns and felt better than I had in years.
Maybe trying something like taking a class just to get you out of your apt might help you too. It could be worth considering.
Bad psychotherapy doesn't help anyone. She did the right thing by quitting. I seriously doubt that anyone benefits from monthly appointments.
Unfortunately, if this was a community care clinic, it might not even have been the therapist's fault. They are severely underfunded and understaffed with a high rate of burnout.
@@ems7623 And this is why I think mental health care is sadly severely flawed. Imo people should get that good therapist right away not go through hoops, because it just drains their motivation and they might even think of not seeing a therapist again and getting the help they need because of it.
I am in 8th grade and going to 9th grade this year. I have always thought that therapy was a waste of time because this person can't do anything to change my situation. But this video changed my thought and the way I see therapy now and I thank you Doctor Mike for changing the way I see therapy.
As a psychology student i really like this conversation about therapy. I too had therapy (from a medical psychologist) for my self esteem problems (related to my eczema and bullying). After that i'm even more motivated to get my bachelors and masters degree in Psychology 😄
Work hard!!!
Good Luck!👍❤
@@LEONLOVESMUSIC thank you!
@@nicolevangellecom6405 I'm trying to graduate college with good grades to get enrolled in a good university.
Wish me luck!🖤🖤
I really want to study psychology too ppl say I would be a really good therapist but I don't think that's smth I wanna do but I still want to help ppl with mental health issues
The conversation on male vulnerability made me cry, I went to couples therapy with this girl I had been with for about 2 years and I was also working the the therapist separately, I was super closed up, because of the male stigma, my gf told me to open up about how I feel, I cried more that day than I ever have (I almost never cry) she broke up with me a week later because of the vulnerability. Guess whos now even more closed off.
You were with the wrong person for you. My boyfriend cries with me whenever he needs to and never in my life I though about breaking up because of that. She might also have broken up due to other issues and not you crying.
I wouldn’t break up with my boyfriend if he started crying. It sounds like she had another issue with herself or others.
Hey bro she was not the good one, but try to talk about it to friends or family or people you like and trust. It helps a lot. Idk if you're still doing therapy but i believe it can help a lot if you find the right therapist
Remember that you didn't fail her, she failed you. Go on and keep your confidence up, i have lost my childhood to shame of not being strong enough, unaware of the strenght i actually had. I fight everyday to be less closed, but it's hard coded in me and it's not gonna be easy to fix. There is a reason why we say there's plenty of fish in the sea, it's not easy but there is someone out there who is worth it, don't stop looking even if you don't do it directly. Don't stop yourself for the past, keep looking forward.
Someone who is not afraid to open up makes it easier for their partner to open up too
This is such an important thing to have in a relationship. Both parties should be able to express their feelings without fear of judgement or condescension, regardless of gender
It takes real strength for a man to show their emotions in our society and there are plenty of people out there who value and respect men who do so
I love that this generation is all about emotional intelligence and taking care of yourself because I think we could all use a therapist. Thanks for advocating for mental health Dr. Mike 💛
As a person who has had physical pain since birth, I decided to see a therapist as an adult.
I’ve been to about 7-8 therapists. We have moved a number of times but also I didn’t click with a few therapists.
One confided in me that she was an alien from another star system. Another told me I was too intelligent for her to work with. One told me that all my pain was caused by the medication my doctors prescribed and I needed to quit them all at once.
Each person has to sort through and get to a therapist who “fits!”
I’ve been seeing my therapist for depression and anxiety for a little over a year now. He is amazing! One of the best decisions I ever made in my life was reaching out to him and asking for help.
“All good therapy is self-therapy” is an old saying among therapists. Therapy is the development of skills that empower you to live a better life and that completes the treatment course. Like any treatment course, you may need a new course sometime, but dispel the fashionable idea that everyone should be a perpetual patient.
I've been in Therapy for close to 15-20 years, since I was a kid. While it has been hard to find a good match at times, when you find a good therapist that works for you, it's such an amazing experience.
I am a huge mental health advocate. I've learned so much about myself, my perceptions of the world around me, and how to improve myself and become a person I can genuinely be happy with becoming.
This was the best Dr Mike video I've ever seen. I think everyone should see it. Mental health still too often has a stigma on it. This clip made absolutely clear, that psychotherapy is a good thing for anyone who has the feeling it could be right.
Please make more mental health videos.🐀
I would even volunteer as a patient perspective, based on my journey with mental health challenges and healing.
My mom is a PhD psychologist and has done soooo much good. I grew up knowing how important mental health is and it's invaluable. Allowing yourself to talk to someone who is Trained and Educated and Licensed is something that can truly change your life for the better. I capitalize those words because they have the education and training to give the advice that truly can help you. Friends can give suggestions but advice is like giving non-paid medical advice.
I’m really liking your interest in mental health on your channel. Can’t wait to be a psychologist, this women seems like a good role model I’ll have to look her up. Great intelligent conversation! ❤
I tried therapy in middle school, and it was a traumatic experience and I haven’t been back.. it was helpful hearing about the good things, I kind of tend to forget how useful it can be for people and how much of a good thing it really can be
Oh yea I did the same, and I regretted it.i won't so it again for a long time but I'm glad I'm listening to how it can help others 😌
My daughter had a similar experience. It seems it's difficult to find a good therapist these days, or at least one that fits you particularly, and it's extremely frustrating.
My dream job is being a therapist and honestly this makes me sad people experience that, how can therapists, that have studied pschychology be that bad to cause someone else a trauma?? That's messed up
@@unpopularskyler7494 That’s common. There’s no oversight or regulation outside of earning a degree as far as I can tell. You get the right scores and suddenly you have the privilege of digging around inside someone’s head and straightening the contents. I have had far more bad therapists than good and gave up a long time ago. My experience primarily was misconceptions on their part and people who write on a clipboard the entire time while you tell them your life story. There never seemed to be a direction. It was them writing things down, me talking. No guidance. No insight. No method. You talked for 50 minutes, don’t forget your copay… assuming insurance covered it at all. And two weeks later they’d forgotten everything you said last time.
The first time I went it was a lotttt to take and low key traumatised me but I tried again because I needed help and I got better
Some things were just difficult to accept
I've been in and out of therapy for 15 years. Alot of times it's just nice to talk to someone else. Therapy can be an amazing thing they can help you with SOOO much if you're willing to take the advice.
I met a bad therapist and it made my anxiety + depression worst. My therapist was an intern at a hospital. The session lasted for 1hr30mins and I cried for 1hr15mins lol. She didn't offer me any tissues and I had to run to the washroom with many people staring at me like I was some sort of freak. The worst part was that my condition became worst after that one session. My psychiatrist had to increase my dosage of anti-depressants for me to function normally again. Never went for therapy again. I am currently relying on anti-depressants.
It’s so sad that a place that should help you made it worse. I know it isn’t easy, but it would be great if you did find a good therapist, I encourage you to keep trying! ❤️
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Finding a good match when choosing to go thru the process of therapy can be really hard. My son had a similar situation happen and he chose not to go back. Now he's thinking of trying and do interviews with therapists first to figure out how they would work out as a team. If it's something possible for you, I hope it could be a solution. Good luck 💜
Find another therapist, sounds like yours was completely incompetent!!!!
Interns are meant to make mistakes so that they can learn from them. I’m sure that person got talked to after that session. It’s awful that the “best” care that can be provided is someone who is still learning themselves; how does that help the patient who’s having that “emotional heart attack”?
@@personifiedjazz what did they say
I've been dealing with major depressive disorder for over ten years now and every doctor would say/do the same things. I was put on suicide watch for the first time and the crisis team was shocked to hear how many doctors just tried to give me a pill and send me away. The overall system is highly flawed
Thank you for talking about this topic. Sadly we still have a stigma surrounding mental health & often times people with mental illnesses are shamed for having them or even seen as dangerous because it is invisible most of the time. Finding a therapist is also something that not everyone can afford because insurances don't cover it like they should & even when someone does find a therapist (in network or not) they may not be the right one for them & then they have to find another person or if they do find the right one they may be paying a $100+ per month just because they're not covered by the insurance or the person has to pay a co-pays just to see someone
While I agree you shouldn't assume everyone is dangerous who has mental conditions it's still important that we acknowledge certain conditions can make people dangerous.
@@brothersandsistersofvalhalla This is true. There are certain conditions that can potentially make someone more dangerous but sadly many people don't know that it's a very small amount of people with mental illnesses & that early intervention can help them live a full life in society. They just think that if someone has a mental illness then this person can't function in society or are dangerous to themselves & everyone else when in reality most people with mental illnesses either aren't dangerous at all or are only dangerous to themselves. Very few are dangerous to other people & more often then not they are the victim of a crimes. And this is in no small part to the fact that society as a whole doesn't understand even basic psychology because it's not something that is taught as an optional class in college
I think the worst about mental illness is when people that have mental illness shame themselves.
I have not listened to all of this interview, but a red flag for me was how I felt after I left. I had a student therapist and every time I left her office, I felt worse. I ended up in the hospital because I ignored the bright red flag that was flashing right in front of me. For me, a good therapist will help you feel empowered when you leave.
I had a similar experience with a few different therapists! Once you find a good one, you don't feel bad at the end of sessions!
I completely agree!
hi doctor mike you probably won't see this I just wanted to say that you have really helped me throughout this year, you've made me laugh and smile with every video. No matter what the topic you always make it sound so fun and important. I will forever cherish your videos. I love you💕
Could you please do more of these conversations with doctors AND some with patients who can talk educatedly about a disease or illness.
I've heard someone say "Therapy is not personalized its general and it's read from a book that has nothing to do with me so no I'm not getting therapy". So Doctor Mike I thank you for making this video. As someone with Autism and other mental struggles I regularly use mental therapy. And I can say it helps if you're open to it. Alot of people I know go in with closed arms and not really willing to accept the process and let it work. And that's wrong because that's a person yelling for help but not accepting it when it's given to them. I know because I used to be this person too. Initially I rejected therapy. It wasn't till I opened my arms and allowed myself to accept the process that it started to work for me. And I've improved so much because of it. Thank you Thank you Doctor Mike. Mental Health is important. And people that need this should allow the process to work. 👍
Sometimes you need to go into the therapy room and just learn to trust first, because it doesn’t come naturally for many. If you don’t have a secure attachment style, or have cptsd, it can be really hard to ask for help even though you scream for it inside. I’m like that. Any therapist should be prepared to earn the trust of the patient first.
What you just did was perfectly describe a generalization.
What about someone who does go in with open arms, someone who knows they have an issue, and what if it doesn't help? As they touched in this video, there are people who are bad at their job, and not all of us have a successful doctor practice and a booming YT channel and MILLIONS of dollars to afford quality care. If you are poor and constantly just struggling to breath/survive, can barely afford to feed yourself and your only option is the "free therapy'' offered by some of these clinics, it doesn't work. Either my problems are too big for these inexperienced therapists, or like regular medicine, maybe I need to see some sort of therapy specialist, which I can't afford. Or what about the notion no one seems to understand, but what if this stuff is like cancer, what if not everything is curable/talkable/etc etc.
I am broken and there's too many pieces to put back together. I'm the car equivalent of a beater. There's no point in putting more money into this money pit, it's time to let me die and move on.
@Adept Man, I’m not even going to pretend like I can understand the pain you are going through. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, whether you believe it or not. I’ll believe in it for you. Stay strong and keep fighting
As an autistic myself I don't think therapy does always gives us that assurance and outcome what we need. Or I would say therapy is only made for neurotypical people with mental illnesses not the people with disabilities or neurological conditions.
I love therapy. The hardest part for me was admitting that I wasn’t perfect.
I started therapy after opening up to my doctor about my suicidal thoughts. It has helped SO MUCH. Iv gone a year without another attempt and im on the road to graduating highschool and becoming an EMT💪🏼
Glad to hear it! Wishing you all the success in your path to being an EMT and helping people!
Even if that path doesn't end up being the one for you, please don't get discouraged or see it as a failure. Also, try your best not to get burnt out, even if you'd need to change careers to get enough rest and avoid that burnout.
It feels to me like therapy is more in demand because of society becoming increasingly apathetic and theres an increasing de-sensitisation or de-humanization of people, and so many people are looking for a reason to hate more than to love. It's not possible to open up to an acquaintance in some instances without fracturing that relationship, and that void has to be filled by therapists instead.
I feel like I wrote this comment.
There’s a lack of community and mutual respect in addition to false narratives about who we and other people we’ve never met are. And yet we find a little community here on this channel, for all we don’t know each other’s faces or voices. Each person has the possibility to be the change they want to see, it just seems lately the positive changes people want are getting bogged down by the overflow of negative changes. There are A LOT of Hurt People out there hurting people.
And at the same time the stigma around therapy is fading, fast.
I think therapy is more in demand because more and more people normalize going into therapy. It was a real stigma, and still is in a lot of cases, but luckily it's fading. If you open up to someone and that fractures your relationship, that person wasn't probably worthy of being your friend.
Mmm, I think people getting more apathic is not the problem per se... more like, due to social media and people now just exposing themselves to the world, we see more of that on a daily basis. But people in general have been apathetic since the beginnings of time. We just see it more often, or due to us being in the age of information and tecnology, we are more aware of it and can recognize apathy at a glance.
I remember when was in elementary and middle school, I struggled with bullying and my mom would always say that things will only get worse when I get older and that girls are always mean to each other. In all fairness, she was kind of right. Those girls were always mean to me and each other. But I cannot forget how ignored I felt when my mom refused to even reach out to my bully's parents to help me find a resolution. I was 9-11, what was I supposed to do?
I'm sorry, you deserved to be validated of your emotions. I hope you're on the path to recovery. I'm rooting for you 💜
@theraidedjade i married a bully some never change. Moral of the story just go after whatever you want whenever you can cut out toxic people.
My mom helped me by telling the teachers about it and it only made things worse for me. The reachers saw her as a karen and made me a target of adults bullying a kid under their care. Perhaps what your mom did was for the best. Only teachers can stop bullying and unfortunately, they're a part of it. When teachers target a kid, other kids who weren't bullying you before join in as well
This one is one of his best. The way they open up the discussion about vices and coping mechanisms that get overlooked as signs of true depression (especially in men) is incredible. I love the term of "emotional heart attack" because it's true - most people belittle and try to minimize what they're experiencing to avoid having to face what they're going through until the world is crashing down on them. Only when Atlas buckles under the external and internal pressures of the world do we tend to draw the conclusion is "Hey something might be wrong now".
Don't read my name!!!
@@dontreadmyprofilepicture960 Bot 🤖
@@dontreadmyprofilepicture960 why.
What an amazing exchange between you two. Thank you for sharing this with us.
This video itself is therapeutic...
What to say about Dr. Mike, he is the most humble guy. Keep inspiring ppl...blessings.
Therapy has never helped me, and on rare occasions, it made me feel worse. Any real help I got was from friends or my parents. I've been in therapy for years and have been as honest as possible to no avail. I quit a few weeks ago and I feel happier without it. My anxiety condition has improved when I *left* therapy! 😊
I have had the unfortunate case of having bad therapy experiences, in elementary school I was in a therapy group and a nickname got leaked and I was bullied with it on top of already having a bullying problem. I was taken to a Psychiatrist who gave me medication and that I met with weekly but he only gave me tests and then stuck me in a room with cartoons while he told my mom everything that was going on. I have friends who have been getting therapy for years and they have had bad experiences as well, but despite all of this I still believe most people will benefit from going to a therapist and that it can help them if they attend for a period of time sufficient for overcoming their issue. Be careful to not overstay because that can cause it's own problems.
I relate to this so much. I had a school therapist once and she did absolutely nothing for me. And all the other kids knew why I was being pulled out of class every day so the bullying and abuse they gave me every day just got more intense.
I am soo sorry this happened to you. The best place to start finding a good therapist is actually friends, peers, people you respect, or Look up to, also support groups online can be truly amazing. I wish you the best. And truly am sorry for your experience during a time you needed someone. ♥️
@@BigGayIncorporated I'm so sorry this happened to you. I didn't have successful therapy until I sought it outside of school unfortunately. I'm not sure if the therapists there aren't trained as well or if they are just specifically aimed at something different? I was being abused by my parent and my (high school) therapist was like "well maybe she's just trying to show/tell you she loves you and you're misunderstanding". I had literally shown up, basically crying, asking for an emergency counseling appointment. And reported it as potential abuse. I'm pretty sure they're required to report that?? Anyway, my point is, if you haven't tried beyond a school therapist and still feel that you might need the help, I would suggest trying it.
There are deffinatly good and bad therapist. I've literally been gaslit by therapist, telling me what I was experiencing was NOT abuse, which is a really fucked up thing to say to someone trying to better themselves and reaching out fot help.
Bullying? Fight back, they'll never mess with you again
I've been seeing my therapist for over a year now, and I must say it has helped. I want to normalize it in ways such as this, so thank you.
How is it like? Hearing her say that we're "unreliable narrators" and that we are telling a "subjective" version of our story makes me kinda scared. I wanna feel better, cheer up and find ways to cope better but i dont know if i want to talk to anyone who's gonna say that what i'm feeling isnt real 😢😢😢 im so tired and scared. Im glad your therapy worked for u! Hugs ❤️
I've been bulimic and struggling with bingeing and purging. As well as bpd, bipolar disorder, reactive attachment disorder, cptsd, anxiety, and ADHD I have been in therapy since I was four. (One of the only good things about the foster system) it didn't become beneficial until I finally came to terms with the immense guilt, trauma and everything else I held onto and masked with anger. I viewed that fear as weakness. It's taking a long time. I'm trying to undo 2 decades worth of pain but I make progress. Even if other people don't notice it. I feel it. I'm still working up to facing the fear of social rejection and leaving my apartment more.
I'm so happy you are finally feeling a difference! I know it can take a lot of time to work through it all, but it is so important to keep putting the work into yourself, because you are worth it. I hope you keep doing better and better!
You are amazing! You should be so proud of yourself!! Congratulations on your progress/breakthroughs! 🎉❤
@lydsmartin23 it helps but there are so many different kinds it's taken me almost 20 years and constant adjustments to find what works for me. You must remember that a lot of disorders have overlapping symptoms. There are more affordable options for diagnostic tests and cheap insurance (or your parents insurance)
As someone who's been in therapy at least monthly for several years and as someone who is less than a year from graduating with a master's degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, I am PSYCHED that you made this video!!
I had social anxiety disorder and went to see a therapist first. The therapist helped me a lot to see my patterns but said medications are not needed for your condition. I was able to see my patterns but i couldn't control or stop those intense emotional outbursts and implement different behaviours... Finally i thought to give a psychiatrist a try... He prescribed me some SSRIs which work like magic with some life style changes like regular exercise.. I was feeling a lot confident ... Less intense emotional outbursts ... And being able to apply what i learned in psychotherapy...
My point is Therapists should have some knowledge about conditions that require medications and should direct to a psychiatrist also when necessary....
Yes, absolutely yes, for me it happened kind of the opposite, I've been struggling with depresión and anxiety for some time and just recently started therapy, my therapist almost inmediatly explained to me that we would be discussing the source of my struggles and identifying if they were external or internal, and then told me that if they were internal I might need some extra help with a psychiatrist and medication, after some sessions she told me that yes, I need that extra help, so I hope soon I'll be able to start with the medications I seem to need.
Sorry for any errors, not a native English speaker 🙃.
I know at my therapy building they come with psychiatrist kind of. I went to a psych ward where I was prescribed meds so I already had to go to the psychiatrist which was at the same building as my therapist
Totally agree. Stigma around mental health medication is still heavily present despite therapy becoming more accepted. It frustrates me because my medication literally saved my entire well-being. While getting the proper med and dose nailed down, I very clearly could see my irrational thinking and behaviors manifesting but couldn't control them. Once I was taking the proper stuff, it was like everything suddenly clicked one day. I finally felt in control rather than my brain controlling me. What's amazing is that toxic thought patterns I assumed were totally normal were so much easier to get rid of and change. For those who feel trapped in their head, medication may be the only answer and that should be perfectly acceptable. These are proper chemical imbalances that can only be controlled so much through exercise and diet (which can and do help).
I am bipolar and have been in therapy for years to help deal with high emotions and really bad sudden depression cause we didn't know I was bipolar at the time and it wasn't until a severely bad manic ep to psychotic depression that she realized I was bipolar and instantly got an appt with a psychiatrist and got medicated and all that stopped next day. For the first time in my life I was really okay. Therapy isnt going to change my brain structure and wiring. Makes me wish I didn't allow my mom's perception of medications to hold me back from getting them for so long
@@stilljustliam9196 It's taken me a long time to realize that medication is management, not cheating. I'm so glad your meds worked so well and quickly.
I have 2 things to say about therapy. I don't get anything new out of it that I don't get from talking to my friends. One friend asks so many types of questions like one! I am on meds for bipolar disorder also, so I am fine with what I have. I am also super happy about this video!! Therapy is not for everyone, but it DOES HELP a lot of people, so if you feel like you need to talk with someone, please do it!!!
I've been in therapy before for my anxiety. It's helped me a lot. Mental health is super important to me, and so is art. So I'm actually planning on studying to be an art therapist! Therapy is something that has helped me with my mental health, and I want to return the favor. Being able to help others with their mental health means a lot, because it's important to me
I went to a psychologist... at the end of the hour when we were done with introductions basically, she just said something along the lines "You're doing great and your goals are valid." and it was enough. I never went back. I never knew I needed to hear that so much it caused me so much depression and anxiety. That was 4 years ago. I feel inadequate in everything and disappointing everyone I cared about constantly. This is the only thing I need to hear to reset my mind...
When my mom said it I cried... When my husband said it I cried... And when my friend said it I cried...
I teared up in the doctors office last week because she asked what was going on in my life and I shared my grief about the death of a close family member that happened recently. She was very kind but then asked if I needed depression/anxiety meds. I said no I don’t think so. I think I’m just a “normal sad” right now, and I am working through it on my own, Day by day.
Unfortunately, too many times people are prescribed something after a death. I agree, you are sad and grieving, but not clinically depressed.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Doesn't sound like your doctor knows what they're doing. Unfortunately many GPs asumme they're qualified to make these calls, when they are really not. I've had my own experience with this.
Situational depression CAN become clinical, but as long as it is situational, medication is rarely a good option. While dwelling is harmful, we need to FEEL our pain to move on from the pain. It's okay, even good sometimes to feel bad. Blocking it out will just mean you need to deal with it later, and it's worse, because you get use to not feeling fully. Don't get me wrong, I've been on antidepressants, and they saved my life, but my depression was very bad, and what was happening in my life didn't have much, or any effect on it.
It sounds like made a good choice. Take care of yourself.
Omgosh, Lori is fantastic, I hear my mom as she speaks, which really shows how educated and empathetic and understanding, but also problem solving.
There are so many golden nuggets in this video. If you’ve been to therapy, are thinking of going, are surrounded by people who confide in you on a daily/weekly/monthly basis, or are a card carrying member of the human race…this is for you.
2 minutes in and I feel so safe and welcomed by her 🥺 She exudes warm competence
I got shot a couple years ago and all my "Doctor" told me was "You know that probably won't happen again right?"
Good talk, I'm an introvert with aspergers and avoidant personality disorder, that interaction was not a real faith bringer.
But I love this and love your videos!
This stuff is never enough and doesn’t change anything
It’s like they never heard of trauma
@@35yoglenmckenna31 you can get out if that if you want to
The way Dr Mike is listening with his mind and body language is just soooo comforting and relaxing 🥺🥰☺️🙏🏻
It even made me feel heard and safe in the way he showed he really listened and understood or related to everything Lori said!
As someone who has suffered from PTSD that had been brushed off or ignored by therapists/Physicians for many years, my last therapy session gave me more help and movement forward than I have for years. Validation was the top point of discussion. Yes you do this, this is why. Do you do this? Yes that's a common coping mechanism...and the introduction of EMDR and other things that I can do to make it through triggering of circumstances and possibly head them off. Too many think that PTSD has to be one huge tragedy or trauma. I learned that Too Much Too Soon, Too Much Too Often, and Too Little Too Long is just as traumatic for a person. My "homework" is to listen to the BEYOND TRAUMA PODCASTS. These have been so enlightening! Validation is critical for some to be able to move on with healing as well and what to do about symptoms.
Therapy helps me a lot. Even though I have a dad, that said "therapy only makes you a better liar" not even giving family therapy a try.
I had to go through four therapists before I found someone who clicked and worked for me. Don't be afraid to keep trying if you feel like therapy isn't working for you too.
I hear that myself and it’s ridiculous we need and want many things in life. The way you respond by facial expression is right on point. You seem to have an open mind. That’s a big difference between people. Just your eyes show a lot alone. Most people don’t get the aspect, but it’s an amazing trait to understand others and help whenever possible.
Dr. Mike, I cannot express enough how happy I am that you have addressed the realm of healthcare that so often has a bad rap. I've always had a high respect for you and what you do. Then this video comes along and raises the bar of respect. Thank you. We need more doctors like you.
As a recent master's social work graduate specializing in mental health LOVED LISTENING TO THIS CONVERSATION IN THIS CHANNEL. I have noticed how mental health has been introduced to this channel slowly but the focus has been more medical. For example about diagnoses, medications, or psychiatry. And mental health is more than that. Is more than a diagnosis/ DSM-5. I am very glad that the human experience outside and inside of treatment was the focus here, as well, as the different treatments and professionals available to provide this service.
About "idiot compassion" I hate it when people do it, specially when they do it to kids, that will create bad behaviors, you have to be real if you care for real for your friends wellbeing.
I'm not a therapist, but when someone tells me his/her problems, I'm honest with them, but with respect and encouragement.
Definitely. Too many people don't understand being on someone's side isn't always the same as taking their side. The blindly agreeing part of idiot compassion, that's not something I believe in at all. Everyone in my life knows better than to expect it from me. I'll listen without giving an opinion, if requested(will often ask if they want to hear my thoughts), or it doesn't seem like a good time, but I'll never tell someone they're completely in the right, when they aren't.
Just listening, and not offering solutions, or insight, that can be very helpful. For example, I've suffered from insomnia literally since infancy, I don't need someone who has only had trouble sleeping when highly stressed, or drinking too much caffeine telling me how to treat my clinical disorder. That happens a lot, when all I want is someone to listen.
I also volunteer at the Canadian Mental Health Association, and won't get into that, but had an experience on my way into a meeting once. There was a man who had filled out some paperwork, looking for housing, arguing with the receptionist. He was very distressed because of how difficult it was to get everything he needed to apply for housing. He thought he had was finished, and just needed to submit it. He was having a breakdown, and the receptionist was trying to get him thinking rationally, and explaining that she couldn't do anything. She even said 'calm down', never wise. He was getting more worked up, he did understand the situation, just was too upset. She looked like she was wondering if she needed to call the police. I just looked at the man, and said 'it can be really hard trying to get important things sorted out with the ministry,'.
You could see the tension drain out of him, his shoulders dropped, he looked at me, and said 'yeah, it can'. He was still upset, but calm. All he needed was someone to tell him he was justified in being upset.
Being there, without trying to make things right, that can be powerful. Reinforcing bad decision making, and delusions, that's harmful, to everyone involved.
I was a teacher for 20 years and my biggest pet peeve was how as educators (and parents) we are quick to label kids. When we do that, those kids can start defining themselves by those labels instead of thinking outside of their "issues" and stand tall in who they are. I tried very hard to see the kid first before I saw any "label" (eg. ADHD, as having a Learning Disability, Anxiety etc...) Everyone is bigger and better than the labels we as a society put on them. Like Dr. Mike has said about patients being human first, teachers need to teach the human first and address everything else secondarily.
just this morning I saw how my mother-in-law's mental pain affected her physical condition and it scared me so much. because of the stigma about mental health in rural area is just the worst and she cares about what people say so much it hurts her physically, the devil's loop. I can't even suggest about mental therapy because I know how unheard it'd be. and she's old and she lives in the mountains where mental health providers are basically none. so I just sat there after my husband and her husband (I'm always terrified of people grunting in pain) dealt with her physical pain and listened to her venting. I wished I could do more.
and here I am also venting because I'm one of those help-refusing complainer 🙂
You are an example of who I was talking about in my comment. You need an “out of the box” sort of answer, right?
I feel this way with my Dad. Unfortunately it's a devil's loop. It's like one person in a family leads to a pattern. My Grandmother was also a help-refusing complainer (his mother-in-law). Depression doesn't run in families but the reaction, how you connect, it creates more stigma almost.
@@prissylovejoy702 nah. I think it wouldn't work whatever the answer is. I will still think that it wouldn't work and wouldn't even bother to actually try. that's the annoying part of being a help-refusing complainer 😢
@@ange76prkr It's like a generational curse
@@雪名馨 If you are aware of yourself, you have the ability to change as well, you know. (: You can break the cycle. A lot easier said than done though, I know.
I'm so used to "The Truth about.." Things being "It's really the opposite of what you think" and my mind has been reversed on therapy so much that I forget that the rest of the world has misconceptions on therapy being really negative and for half a min I really thought Doctor Mike was about to bash on therapy and I was about ready to throw hands. It's helped me uncover some things really recently and I'm not miraculously healed or anything but I've finally found a hint of hope in the future and I'm so freaking happy about it. I hope others who need it can receive therapy that is helpful for them I know some experiences can be difficult and disheartening but having an outside perspective can be really helpful sometimes.
Therapy is the best ting you can get to cure depression or problems. Get it, you won't regret it
This was such a great interview! My nurse practitioner helped me to find my therapist and I am so happy he did. I trusted him to recommend someone who I would mesh well with, so I fully support primary care physicians being apart of the conversation. My therapist office is truly a safe space that I believe everyone deserves to have. I actually appreciated that my therapist is in therapy and it made me feel understood. I also asked about cultural competence and I'm grateful that i did...as a POC woman that was a concern of mine and she understood. I'm definitely downloading her book ❤️
When I told my dad the doctor said I needed therapy he thought I was joking. He was supportive but it just goes to show an outsider can be so important. Therapy was amazing for me.
I want to thank u I had a doctors appointment the other day and because of ur videos I felt more comfortable asking questions and felt more in control of my health. Ur videos made me understand doctors and nurses better so I could ask these questions. So thank you so much!
I do therapy and mostly talk about my past friendship issues and stuff like that. It really does help. It’s nice talking to someone that doesn’t judge with you and trust worthy.
"EVERYONE can benefit from therapy."
What I always heard from my mother when I started therapy years ago. Since then I've healed more in the past few years than in the first 18 years of my life. We ALL have problems, we ALL need help, and we ALL need to heal.
Too bad we can’t ALL find a therapist who knows what they’re doing.
i recently experience a very traumatic event while at work and while a therapist didn't directly help me with my problems they did direct me toward the resources that have been helping me
I've been in therapy since 2009. PTSD, depression and generalised anxiety disorder with panic attacks. I was diagnosed by a Psychiatrist. I took medication originally for all of these but with therapy l came off all medication. Therapy definitely changed my life for the better after trauma. I've learned so much about myself. Great video. Thanks Dr. Mike. ❤
Meds can be life saving. But therapy is treating what meds help you survive thru. Having a good medical team is key!
Currently in my second year of my doctorate program for clinical psychology, and I really enjoyed this video. Thank you both Dr. Mike and Lori for spreading awareness and making mental health a little less taboo!
Dr.mike is genuinely one of, if not the,kindest, most down to earth UA-camr on this platform
When I was become therapist I'm incounter patients got a truema and depression experiences, some are stroke causes. Sad stories from my clients, I learned more motivation, give advice to them & until me become advicer to them also. The good and bad relationship action of the patients. I'm to much related to this topics because me too also survive in depression , I thought I'm good enough therapist for my clients. I learn more & more until I found a good key of a good therapist in life. I love Lori's the way she delivers her thoughts topic and learn also her good advices . God bless Doc Mike 🙏
I didn't know that therapy was still so stigmatized, in this day and age.
I'm so grateful for those that hold high social standing, who are bringing to light that therapy and mental health care are completely normal if not necessary, for all.
I know this is unrelated but you have the most gigachad name i have ever seen on the internet.
@@Sir_Jordan2032 it's from a show. It's the name of a character played by Kevin Smith.
Well, his was the dude version of the name...
@@Sir_Jordan2032 Also, if you don't mind me asking- wtf is a gigachad? I'm not quite that young, anymore.
I do think most people would benefit with therapy, not in a regular session type things, but if you're moving, switching jobs, just stressed, or anything. Having that outside opinion is very beneficial (to most)
Even though therapy seems like just talking, it can really help because if you talk to someone you can feel like you're not alone and you're being heard.
On the idea of practicing. One of the best descriptions of therapy is that it is a training ground for real life. A part of therapy is healing what’s wrong, but the other part is learning the skills needed to survive life and thrive.
THERAPY IS LIFE ! Been going there since I was 18 having a non bias hear me with no judgement is what we ALL need
Therapy saved my life. In so many ways, most not literally. But also literally.
This is eye opening and so helpful ! Thank you Dr. Mike, we need more of this kind of content, real talk on how mental health and physical health are so intertwined.
So much appreciation to Dr. Mike for speaking up for people who are having trouble motivating, and specifically for pointing out how difficult it can be to try to find the right therapist for you when you're already having motivation issues
This is a great topic. In my experience, I have seen several social workers that shared too much of their own struggles. Rather than come across as relatable, they seemed like too much of a mess to be of help to anyone. My sessions at the low-income clinics focused too much on “mommy issues” to help me with my current situations. I get that history informs the past, but some therapists take it too far. They did diagnose me with dysthymia (double depression), but I don’t have what it takes to navigate US insurance to try to find someone else. The turnover at the community clinic meant that I never formed a relationship with “my” therapist. I gave up on the system and am suffering to this day.
This is one of my favorite videos in Dr Mike channel
When I needed to see someone, I remember that I was concerned that the psychiatrist I would go to would be (more or less discreetly) a psychoanalyst who would want to make me talk about my mother, when my problem was a work-related burnout. Thankfully I found a great doctor.
When I started therapy. I never realized I suffered from depression and an Eating Disorder. It shocked me because I didn’t realize these problems I had were serious. Because to me saying you have depression or even an eating disorder are big problems in the world today. And it seems like everyone’s got something. Therapy is my favorite part of my week now. I look forward to it. My mental state has improved. And of course I have ups and downs. But it’s truly helped me. And I’ve encouraged my friends to go too!
Thank you for highlighting this taboo topic Dr Mike & Lori.I had a good cry for about 10 minutes listening to you - definitely something you mentioned that triggered it,but it was a good cry nonetheless.Very insightful indeed.Thank you yet again Dr Mike for these type of content on your channel,always helpful & resourceful and much appreciated.🤗
Glad this conversation resonated with you! I hope you'll check out my book, Maybe You Should Talk To Someone, to explore more of these ideas through the stories of real people.
Thank you,I will definitely look into checking out your book.I believe the video above came at the right time for me,I needed to see it,so it's now up to me to take the next step.Again,thank you,much appreciated.Take care 🤗
Oh wow. Thank you Dr. Mike and Lori . I have had 50+ mental health professionals over my years of mental health journey. I was told "you're too difficult, I don't suit you", " you're too complicated or complex" and everything else. I'm not one to talk about my issue anymore as all these statements have made me a closed book. I have been hospitalised monthly, when I used to open up, so I used to give up and be down to the point of sometimes no return until I found the psychologist, who hasn't kicked me, but my journey is just one story of many.
You take one step every time you walk. So get up, and step closer to getting yourself better. "It is a mental exercise with a personal trainer, you will see results" - My 26th Mental health professional
You will get through this, we all love you and you will make it though ❤️
I had a therapy session last week for the first time in two years. I deal with general anxiety disorder, adhd, depression, and ptsd. Some of these I picked up as a result of child abuse and growing up in a cult.
I honestly thought I’d worked through nearly all of my issues and trauma of the past. To the point where I could talk about these things without breaking down or crying or it affecting me emotionally. But lately I’ve been having bad panic attacks and I didn’t know why.
She had me tell her my ‘life story’ and I ended up crying my eyes out at the end because she kept telling me how much I deserved love and happiness or how strong I was or how far I’ve come with my growth. I haven’t really ever had people tell me that verbally out loud. Other than from myself.
Therapy is just a wonderful tool that really helps you get back to enjoying life. Sometimes you need it to learn how to adult socially when your parents never did. Sometimes you need it for the support or growth. It’s literally for everyone and there is just no excuse not to go talk to someone.
Seeing the patient behind the diagnosis is huge point touched on in this video I love. A nurse once told me to change the I am to I have because the diagnosis does not define who you are and what you are capable of. An example would be instead of saying "I am a diabetic or I am bipolar." Say "I have diabetes or I have bipolar."
Its what made me go into healthcare.
love love love these longform interviews!!! i am so happy you pursue a wide variety of formats with your channel thank you Dr. Mike
I have a very similar experience to what Dr Mike said early in the video. Some times therapy made my symptoms worse. It wasn’t until I was in medical school that I realized I was in the wrong type of therapy for me. Now I do a lot of self work at home and do a check in every 3-6 months and have been doing well for around 7 years. When I feel my tension buildup I now have tools to moderate without harm.
I'm totally sending this episode to my best friend, who is a therapist.
Though my best friend does not give me therapy as we both agree our friendship is more important, I seek treatment on my own.
Just listening to her talk really makes me think about the rough that's all in my life currently and that those emotions are something real and true and that often need to be expressed.
Thanks for the videos, I really enjoy them! ❤
Going through a mental health crisis right now, and this is helping me so much ❤️
The fact I have an therapist that helps me with my vocabulary, this video made me happy! Love you dr. Mike, continue these helpful, enjoyable videos
The reason I have vocal therapy is that I spoke only at 4 years old, a bit too soon
Therapy is the best gift you can give yourself besides education 🖤
Absolutely 🤍
I developed ocd symptoms around 7yrs old. I never spoke about it because i didn't understand it so i just hid it. I got to 14 and was having sleeping problems and developed depressive symptoms until it escalated. Getting help was so hard because of the area i lived in. They tried to put me in s box but because i had a 'good life' the public system didnt want me. I was diagnosed with ocd, mdd and asd. Im now 19 and have come so far and am so thankful i found a psychologist who understands ocd and can help. It was very hard to find someone who really understood ocd because no one i had previously seen really understood it.
I just started watching but i already want to thank you for covering that topic.
People, go to therapy. You can learn a lot about yourself and you not just have someone to talk, you get a professional advice.
Professional. Huh. Psychology is this science of generalizing about people and claiming to help them by dropping in leadig questions and providing nothing constructive in return. I have had exactly one good one and even he missed the core issues in some areas while helping in others. They get their degrees then they fasten onto pet philosophies and help exactly no one. There’s no oversight, no regulation, and no refunds if they pick your brain for an hour and recommend a book.
@@BeeWhistler Im sorry to hear that you had such a bad experience with therapy. I dont live in the US, i live in Europe and here you can get really professional help from people who know what they are doing.
I go to a specialist for autism, there are also some that are focused on kids or relationships etc.
My therapist is helping me to work on my fears, to work on understanding other people, their body language, we do some kind of "guided training" to help me practice. Im really happy with her, she actually does help me.
Hope you also find a good therapist thats really helpful for you.
(sorry for my bad english, its not my native language.)