Why you can’t FIX the narcissist

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  • Опубліковано 2 жов 2024
  • They think they’re perfect #narcissism #narcissistic #narcissist
    For 1-on-1 narcissistic abuse recovery coaching email me: danielle.radin@gmail.com
    More on my podcast “Call Them Narcissists”: open.spotify.c...
    My book on communicating with narcissists is out now: amzn.to/49bRMMF

КОМЕНТАРІ • 40

  • @Duf
    @Duf 3 місяці тому +14

    I wasted a year trying. Exhausted every thing I had. It was never enough, a bottomless pit.

    • @TenderHearted3
      @TenderHearted3 3 місяці тому

      Sadly, I wasted 30 years trying. It took finding out he'd been cheating on me behind my back for years for me to finally say "enough"! My trauma bond kept me trying all those decades. I realize now that what I've been up against was spiritually dark and meant to dim my light. I've since Abandoned ALL HOPE where this man's ability to transform (how he thinks or operates in the world).
      I put distance between us on Feb. 18, 2024. I established healthy boundaries - one was that he must chose THEM or ME, and acknowledge wrongdoing. He's done neither, nor ever apologized for wounding me so deeply. I've been told by therapists I'm dealing with the symptoms of CPTSD, Betrayal trauma (and have been Trauma Bonded to this person). Waves of immense grief (at the loss of what "should have been") and all the time, sweat/tears, energy, effort, memories, and resources I can never get back, or change for the better on my own.
      I always strived and desired to have a Covenant-honoring marriage with this person. I didn't realize he was incapable of telling the truth most times. The "good guy" image/persona he presented to me at the start was meant to capture my innocent, giving and tender heart. Despite having red flag moments and abusive incidents involving him during our lengthy period of dating (I tried leaving the state to gain clarity, but returned after a year, not realizing what the man I was exclusively dating was seriously toxic, abusive, and narcissistic. I'm sure cognitive dissonance was also at play when I finally agreed to marry him.
      I'm now forced to start over at age 65, and must try to rebuild some semblance of a life (w/o a current job, home of my own, vehicle of my own, or much $ in the bank). However, I was offered a safe harbor by a caring family member for the time being. My Wayward, narcissistic husband could not steal or destroy my faith, though he tried to even do that. My Father in Heaven's Promises are TRUE; He says He will NEVER forsake any of His children who call upon Him for help (and I believe Him). Though this a lengthy, lonely road of processing grief and trying to see clearly through the fog of cognitive dissonance, trauma, and shattered confidence and trust, I realize I'm not alone in Spirit.
      Grace & Peace to all who are hurting and suffering. We can only place our complete Trust, Faith and Hope in the ONE Who Promises us Safe Harbor from every storm. He defeated Death and Hell on the cross, but will return to destroy EVIL, once and for all and Rule and Reign, with Justice and Righteousness (read Revelations). Father God is Long-Suffering, desiring ALL come to a Saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.💙 Psalm 37 www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm%2037&version=NIV

  • @johnmaurer2035
    @johnmaurer2035 3 місяці тому +7

    You don't wanna be 75 and still be with this person. Co's, I promise you, you're gonna be shredded as an individual.

  • @Аноним-щ3н
    @Аноним-щ3н 3 місяці тому +2

    Narcissists don't want to be fixed and they WANT to be narcissists.

  • @kilpel2
    @kilpel2 3 місяці тому +3

    It's a no win situation, until you get out!

  • @JB-gq5ox
    @JB-gq5ox 3 місяці тому +7

    35 years here. It only gets worse. If you can, get out right now. Do not waste your life energy.

  • @AlabasterSkin
    @AlabasterSkin 3 місяці тому +4

    Your best yet.

  • @MisterJ.J.
    @MisterJ.J. 3 місяці тому +2

    This woman is super smart and pretty. 👏💐

  • @heatherbowman9450
    @heatherbowman9450 3 місяці тому +2

    420 VIEWS ADVOCATE QUEEN NARC SLAYER✊👊💣💎👑🎉 0:51

  • @sarah.j.777
    @sarah.j.777 2 місяці тому +1

    "plus the narcissist thinks they're smarter than you"
    which is why I am *so* glad I busted my sister smearing my character to someone and confronted her on spot, flipped her the double bird & walked away. these creeps think they can play you, get away with it, and deny deny deny if you bring your valid concerns to their attention. not this time Becky 🖕🖕

  • @saidmouinet
    @saidmouinet 3 місяці тому +4

    Well said 👍👍👍

  • @HealthWyze
    @HealthWyze 3 місяці тому +2

    Daniel was right about everything. Although, I believe the most important aspect is they relish dishonesty and betrayal, especially the convert type with their secret lives. One cannot maintain a relationship with someone who is always ready to strike like a venomous snake. One day it's going to inevitably begin, and then it's going to become normal, like they get a taste for blood. The betrayals become the point. They'll look into their victim's eyes, smirking, and savor the sight of them dying inside. Once you see it for yourself, you can't forget. It's demonic.

  • @IzabelaWaniek-i1x
    @IzabelaWaniek-i1x 3 місяці тому +4

    Absolutely true. You can’t fix someone who doesn’t want to be fixed. No man can help a narcissist. They need divine intervention. The most loving thing we can do is to leave them alone, walk away and let God help them.

  • @davidemm829
    @davidemm829 3 місяці тому +1

    A vinyl record spinning and skipping cause there is a gouge between the grooves..annd you think billions if dif responces will help..

  • @bigm383
    @bigm383 3 місяці тому +4

    My mother is a covert narcissist. She left school at fourteen, she’s never done a course, let alone read a book. She can’t follow the news or the plot of a movie, yet, according to her she’s the smartest person in the room full of wonderful insights. She was also the hardest worker, best at first aid in her desk and one of the best drivers in the state. She frequently tells us that the bank manager regards her as having the best home budget he’s ever seen (even after borrowing money from me!). Now that she has dementia this is all she talks about. It’s exhausting listening to her!

    • @davidemm829
      @davidemm829 3 місяці тому +1

      Oh crap this must be horrid

    • @bigm383
      @bigm383 3 місяці тому

      @@davidemm829 It is, but it’s forced me to re examine my own life. Unfortunately I’m her carer so have to see her, take her to medical appointments, etc, but I don’t respond when she demands that I visit her in the care home, etc. I think that taking her out once a fortnight is suffocating.

  • @davidemm829
    @davidemm829 3 місяці тому +1

    The shocking reality is while your sitting there talking to them they ACTUALLY think they are letting you be near them..the hidden crazy of the covert does think you owe them for them even talking to you ..imagine that

  • @trying2survive602
    @trying2survive602 3 місяці тому +1

    My Aunt said to me the other day that she is sad for me because she realized that I have never been loved or cared for. That is something that I believe I deserve and I can't wait to be free to experience that!! Thank you Danielle!!❤

  • @lynneparro3088
    @lynneparro3088 2 місяці тому

    It wasnt until I was married for 43 yrs.that I was finally able to identify that my husband is a narcissist. There was too much confusion and chaos to see anything clearly.
    Danielle is right - no one can fix the narcissist. They think that they are perfect so in their mind there is no need to be fixed.
    Our two kids are the roses among the thorns in my life, but
    I've lost many years to a life of stress, devaluing, and emotional abuse.
    I hope that this can be a warning that helps someone.

  • @Imnotyourdoormat
    @Imnotyourdoormat 3 місяці тому +6

    *Rowdy Roddy Piper gave Danielle those **_"They Live"_** Sunglasses that's how she scopes-out the Hobgoblins...*

    • @johnmaurer2035
      @johnmaurer2035 3 місяці тому +1

      John Carpenter knew what was Going Down.

    • @Imnotyourdoormat
      @Imnotyourdoormat 3 місяці тому +1

      @@johnmaurer2035 *Finding out they have to tell us. And show us. Everything. Is HUGE. Maybe 1 of the biggest factors of all. What did MCV's Miss Vito say. "Trotter has to show you his files. He's not allowed any surprises." Thats it. There it is....hahaha LOL*

    • @Imnotyourdoormat
      @Imnotyourdoormat 3 місяці тому +1

      @@johnmaurer2035 *Who'd ever believe we'd all be living the ..."Escape From New York" scenario in real life?*

    • @johnmaurer2035
      @johnmaurer2035 3 місяці тому +1

      @@Imnotyourdoormat It sure isn't getting any better, for 'regular' folks.

    • @Imnotyourdoormat
      @Imnotyourdoormat 3 місяці тому +1

      @@johnmaurer2035 *No it has not. It has been hightened elevated and escalated. But then thats the way it's always been. Teams get desperate late in the 4th Quarter and 9th Inning when the Fat Lady is over in the corner practicing "Me Me Me Me Me" before she sings. Most if not all Athletes were taught to "Play Till The Whistle Blows." I know I was...*

  • @kathy5847
    @kathy5847 3 місяці тому

    Your videos are right on mark and so helpful. Thank you. ❤

  • @jessicakim2511
    @jessicakim2511 2 місяці тому

    Danielle, can u pls try to explain how and why we fall for these phony empty selfish heartless narcs whenever we normally have a good judge of character? I feel like a total fool and cant understand how I could be drawn to such a cruel hollow shell?

  • @pawe3489
    @pawe3489 3 місяці тому +3