A Bad Day & A Chaotic Vlog
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- Опубліковано 29 чер 2023
- This is a vlog that didn't go to plan 😂 it was supposed to be a cozy day vlog and then autism happened! So I decided to go with it and record an authentic day in which I was having meltdowns and feeling overstimulated.
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Thank you for the reality of this. It's so validating & helpful to know it's just a part of autistic life & to see it reflected in a youtube video.
Can we pause for a moment and appreciate that this wonderful woman can have a UA-cam channel, and share her experiences with all of us? Back in the 18th and 19th century, any woman having a meltdown in town would certainly be called hysterical and be put away in a frightful Institution. Thank God, at least here in the Western World, we're past that finally.
I went through a crisis stability unit, for a day.
A bit of a correct: Ella is not a woman and their pronouns are they/them
That is such a good point!
@@BassGal92Yes - and also - let's remember that 100-200 years ago one would probably be institutionalized for using any kind of "unexpected" pronouns, and back then Ella would have been treated as a woman whether they felt like one or not. We've come very far since then (but obviously not far enough)
@@BassGal92Good point but I would bet that in the 18th or 19th century presenting as non-binary or anything outside of the norm would likely put them at greater risk of institutionalization. (This is coming from someone who identifies as non-binary btw.)
Someone asked me told me this week that autism is not a disability for me because I'm doing so well. I felt empowered to correct them because I have days like the one you just so kindly shared with us! Thank you!
There’s so much misunderstanding between neurotypicals and neurodivergents. It’s almost like being another species.
Someone recently described my autism as an illness. There was that sandbag thump as my stomach dropped, hearing autism described as an “illness”…..however, I could see the person who said this has a trusting heart and pureness about them, possibly a learning disability. There’s a huge difference between a person who means well but just doesn’t quite get it and someone who has a spiteful tone.
When I have a good day, or especially more than one in a row, a judgey “voice” in my head tells me I must be exaggerating or even making it all up, there’s nothing wrong with me. Then I get that feeling of anxious overwhelm, things go down the tubes, and it shuts up for a while. I don’t much like the voice but I guess it would be worth living with it to have mostly good days.
I’m sorry that you had such a bad day Ella. I want to send you a big hug and thank you for your honesty and showing your vulnerability. You are allowing others to me to learn from your vlogs❤️❤️. My daughter has just been officially diagnosed and it’s difficult trying to give her all the help I can. I’m fumbling my way through and I’m gaining more understanding thanks to you. Xxx
Thank you so much
I think it's very helpful to see the multiple route changes throughout the day. I can relate. Thank for your dedication to normalizing representation of adults with disabilities and autism. Meltdowns, recovery, and all. It means the world. 🫶🏼 A fellow neurodivergent enby who simultaneously loves and is terrified to roll around on wheels haha!
This video is worth gold. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that you share yourself like this. It’s the best kind of high to be real without fear. You’re unclogging the arteries in which flows the vitality of life 🤩 I really like the feel and look of your yard and that fish tank is bomb! Love you 🤗☀️
Thank you so much for making this vlog. Overwhelm shutdowns and meltdowns are part of my life too. They are much less common since I have become more aware of my limitations and I am able to understand what I need to keep myself regulated. It is so wonderful to see someone else feeling safe to share this. This video wasn’t boring…it was literally fascinating to see someone willing to share what I’m not brave enough yet to. I feel seen and less alone.
That third sentence
Thank you for sharing Ella, it's so very much appreciated.
Thank you for sharing Ella - you are incredible - I had a meltdown yesterday when I was in the city - too much noise, yuk
I’m validating my weekly experiences here for the first time. Thank you ❤
That is the reality. Both the good and and the bad. Thanks for sharing both.
Good to know other people have days which were s'posed to be fun turn into catastrophic episodes too...many days have gone South in this way.
Hey Ella, I appreciated this! I too have days that I make lovely plans for that get entirely derailed. Sometimes our brains are really hard to navigate. Thank you for being honest.
To have gone out roller skating in public on concrete instead of in the safety of the rink you're used to was a huge win for the day. It looked like it required a lot of concentration, balance, and vulnerability so it must have been really taxing on your brain. Well done for doing it, that was a huge challenge!
Also, to have a good brunch afterwards even though it was probably overwhelming in its own way, is another win in my book. It's so easy to forget / ignore / miss the signals to eat when you're overwhelmed so even if Mr Purple helped you to do that it's a success.
I don't know if it helps to hear, but rest is work too. You need it to heal and repair, and it's normal for us to need more than an NT person. I hope you're able to be gentle with yourself and take the time for the rest you need without feeling bad about it. You deserve time to heal, especially on the difficult days. 💜
I absolutely love that you showed this side of autism/neurodiversity, as I feel as it isn’t showed as much. Made me feel really seen ❤
I’ve been having a lot of meltdowns too lately. It’s a dominoes effect.
One meltdown often leads to another meltdown if there isn’t sufficient alone time and peace to recover.
It’s like water being boiled. The water boils gradually, and gradually it becomes more overwhelming, until all of a sudden it goes from coping to not coping.
Public meltdowns are the worst.
Thank you for sharing the reality of a bad day. Just had one myself and then in the evening decided to watch some UA-cam and your video helped me feel less alone 💕
❤ glad to see you’re wearing a helmet. Last time I skated I fell down and hit my head and needed stitches. I was a competent skater but the rink I was skating in had an old wood floor and there was a spot where the planks weren’t even and I was trying to avoid two little kids.
Oh man i know those days.
Well done for sticking it out.
Well worth it as no-one ever vlogs those days but we know they happen.
I appreciate the honesty.
Love you, thank you for this video, just keep deep-breathing is the chosen mantra for me.
Thankyou for being so real and honest, I really needed to see this today! I've been trying to get some work done all week, but I keep burning out and shutting down and falling asleep, and now my sleep routine is messed up and it's going to take probably another week before I can get regulated again, ugh. It is definitely not that we don't try or have good intentions! It helps to see other autistic people going through a similar thing.
Thank you for sharing. I totally relate, I have been diagnosed with ASD and ADHD, BPD/EUPD, Dyslexic and pretty sure I have Dyscalcular! I'm struggling with the ADHD meds but also without them I'm a mess! The joys of side effects! Xx
Thanks a lot for sharing this day. Most of my days the last 25 years have included one ore several meltdowns, or been a continuous meltdown for weeks and months. I sort of got used to it, accepted it as my life. But recently I realized that I’m autistic, so now I know why I have these meltdowns. And that’s great.
Videos like this tells me that I’m not alone. That’s sort of comforting.
Sending good vibes your way!💞
Oh wow. So real. I feel like this almost every day. And I did feel alone. Until now.
Huge, unless you dont like that, then sending love and light
@nicnic1190 I really appreciate
you recognizing us non-huggers. Really really. I’m crying. Thank you!
@@jimwilliams3816 🌟🎶
I appreciate you sharing this and spending the time and energy explaining what has happened. Thank you
Love your Jelly Cat Octopus 💕💕
I had a bad day 2 days ago, yesterday was good, today not so much. Feeling wheel helps a little, faith helps a little, pushing myself through and "do it anyways" leads to burnout, self care while paralyzed... reality is not perfection. I'm not perfect.
Perfect doesn't exist.
I am God I am sovereign I am free.
You are so brave to show us your vulnerability in such a way. I can't even be that open to my husband without several rounds of camouflaging or I end up with shutdowns. As always, thanks for your openness and being a role model in accepting oneself as a whole and imperfect human. ❤
thanks
I wish I could give this 100 likes, especially today. And I’m having the same struggles with my ADHD meds, which my prefrontal cortex likes and my central nervous system really doesn’t.
First I wanna say that Im really proud of you Ella for trying out skating outside of your comfort zone and being real with this vlog!! I know neither is a super easy thing to do. But also this did really feel validating for me to watch. Often I get caught up in feeling like Im not doing enough each day or that a day was uneventful but knowing that other people have days where most of the time is spent trying to relax and regulate makes me feel better about things. Its a bit easier to not view myself as lazy when I have rough days when I know and can see that other people carry out their days in a similar way. So thank you for making this video Ella, I do hope you were able to rest more after this and take care everyone who happens to read this 💛💛
Sorry about the circumstances that were pushing on you but thanks for recording your challenges. Even not admitting to a less than favorable day has its own consequences when just the opposite can be useful and timely. Glad you had Roz for some support during the day That was a blessing even if not a panacea.
Thank you for making this, your video gave me motivation to get out of bed on my bad day, it helped so much, thank you
Forgetting to take ADHD meds is _ALMOST_ catastrophy for me.
Omg, three meltdowns? I woud need to drive home after first. You a strong woman!
Can you do video on a subject about how do deal with health problems being autistic, as I find it hard and I feel like people think I'm going mad 😐 i have GAD bad anxiety plus this year found out I have autism xx
Thank you.
thank you for showing us your real-ness. i would be interested in knowing what precedes your meltdowns and how they feel in the moment. do you let them run their course, or do you intervene with therapy?
Usually you have to let them run their course. Therapy can help if you can find a good therapist.
Thank you 💜 big hugs 🫠
I have to admit, I know medicine isn’t for everyone, but my meltdowns have decreased so much since I started taking Vraylar.
Interesting. I’m still trying to understand the atypicals. Some of them are dopamine antagonists, and the one time I took one not realizing its mechanism of action, I think I verified that too much dopamine is not my problem, to put it mildly. One tab was not fun. This appears to be a partial agonist which is also a serotonin antagonist. Considering I think an SSRI aggravated my ADHD before I knew I had it, I think I’ll read more.
@@jimwilliams3816 the thing I like about atypical antipsychotics is that there are a lot less side effects.
Thanks for sharing ella, yet for weighted blanket, right with you today, brain a million miles an hour energy level of a sloth. It's like brain and body having a good cop had cop day. Dunno which to listen to. Had to give in to exhaustion n try to accept that, that the way it goes. Thankful for your videos so now understanding what is happening. Trigger brain and synod body conflict of creative writing eh. Hugs of support.
Don't know if this is going to be helpful to anyone: even though after meltdowns or just a normal day really (it's always stressful anyway) I tend to be still ( and it's good), however I thought it was weird as we know for self regulation stimming of any kind is useful. So I started to think that part of wanting to be still is masking. Now I kinda started "forcing" mysrlf to stim at least for a set of minutes. So I noticed it is usegul to alternate, as being absolutely still also is needed but I find it's being useful to alternate complete stillness and sets of stimming. This is probably esp useful for highly masking, I would suppose
I do it too.
@@user-lh6ig4wj4v good to know we got to the same conclusion. Cheers
❤
My "menses" being around the corner
🤗❤ 🙏 Sounds like you need to play with your Jellycat friends ...
Do you think not taking the ADHD meds contributed? I hope you can keep taking them going forward if so. Thanks for being real.
PS you skated very well outside IMHO! Well done!
Solid.
Hi there, I live in the UK and I am currently waiting for an autism assessment. Just wondering once diagnosed with autism in UK what happens, do you get something to say you are autistic on it to then be able to show to employers (I know it may sound weird but like proof in case this is needed at work) of that makes sense. I have just moved departments in my job and this has sent me into a spiral of angst and panic attacks and I just wish I could state what I feel is the truth to why I am struggling so much but I am undiagnosed. Anyway thank you for your videos makes me feel less alone...
hey, for me (uk also) I got a final report which includes all their findings from the assessments and questionnaires, and that says whether you meet the criteria. You will get a copy of this and also your GP. They also give recommendations of things (like therapy) what might help, and also if any support is in your local area. hope that helps👍
Brave ...❤
Do you ADHD meds help the pain as Dr lenz has good channel fybromyalgia and ADHD connection ime diagnosed fybromyalgia Asperger's not add yet but sure I have
Check into Ehlers Danlos Syndrome too. It is more common in autistic people.
@@Catlily5 yes I have it had skin heals keyloids mum has severe ms and sure same prone to central sentization because we qslo have alexthimia