Have you met your soul mate? | Ashley Clift-Jennings | TEDxUniversityofNevada

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  • Опубліковано 8 чер 2024
  • What does it mean to be married to someone who is transgender? Ashley Clift-Jennings had to answer that question six years into marriage to her husband. After overcoming her fear of what other people would think, she now appreciates that her spouse is her soul mate, and she would know how to find her in a dark room.
    Ashley is the rare combination of big ideas and big action. With an innate ability to see the larger picture and connect seemingly unrelated dots, Ashley has advised dozens of small businesses from startup into growth. She believes strongly in community and is a powerhouse in her hometown of Reno, organizing meetups and events like Reno Maker Faire and Startup Weekend Reno. She is the founder and former CEO of Girlmade, an accelerator program for women to encourage a new, positive narrative that girls can run their own startups. Now with Parlor, Ashley is combining all her natural talents as a super-connector, problem-solver and music lover to push back on the “starving artist” myth. Ashley graduated from Columbia University and is a member of Nevada Lieutenant Governor Mark Hutchison’s Northern Nevada Entrepreneurship Task Force (EFT).
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,6 тис.

  • @deanbrown6547
    @deanbrown6547 5 років тому +5681

    "I would know she's my soulmate if this room was dark right now. I would know how to find her in this room." That is QUITE powerful. Wow.

    • @jauxro
      @jauxro 5 років тому +77

      That was the sweetest thing I've ever heard omg

    • @isabella_photos_5077
      @isabella_photos_5077 4 роки тому +43

      I know, after she said that I started to tear up because I just felt every part of that statement was true.

    • @thelastmelon7187
      @thelastmelon7187 4 роки тому +44

      Some people just stand out to us... and sometimes they never stop...

    • @kristenwhitley9775
      @kristenwhitley9775 4 роки тому +22

      I felt that was so entirely true too, you could tell she meant it. My favorite part of the whole speech!

    • @davidwillson4236
      @davidwillson4236 4 роки тому

      I mean ig

  • @whatdoesthisthingdo
    @whatdoesthisthingdo 6 років тому +7869

    Yes. I met my soulmate the first time I looked in the mirror. He’s not the handsomest guy, but I do feel like there’s a such a deep understanding and connection between us.

    • @hima478
      @hima478 5 років тому +170

      Yeah bro. Me, myself and I. Let's get it 😂

    • @foreverflores0725
      @foreverflores0725 5 років тому +49

      I love this

    • @ayandamaliwa6741
      @ayandamaliwa6741 5 років тому +7

      Joe M

    • @julissareyes4000
      @julissareyes4000 5 років тому +39

      dude same....lmfaoooooo I'm so weak, this comment made my day lol.

    • @macancela
      @macancela 5 років тому +4

      👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

  • @coolbreeze5683
    @coolbreeze5683 Рік тому +166

    I believe I've met a soulmate. The only way I can describe it is feeling like your past, present and future coming together all at once. The past because they feel very familiar like you've known them for a long time, present because you cherish every minute you're with them and future because you feel like you want to spend forever with them.

    • @mariotapia5761
      @mariotapia5761 Рік тому +2

      How's that going?

    • @hopeg02
      @hopeg02 4 місяці тому

      This has been me with my boyfriend, we met out of the blue, I never knew him.. but we know the same people, I used to see pictures of him on my socials without knowing, he tells me stories of people I know, when I’m with him I feel so content and I can see a future with him and I’ve never been able to see a future with anyone else before

    • @avante-gardegeckos1233
      @avante-gardegeckos1233 4 місяці тому +2

      I actually wrote this down in my quote book :) thank you for this.

  • @AnthonyLiccione
    @AnthonyLiccione 3 роки тому +344

    "Most people give up finding their soul mate, and settle down to just having a flesh mate."

  • @feelings-
    @feelings- 7 років тому +9057

    Not quite what I expected

    • @milliemiller4954
      @milliemiller4954 7 років тому +347

      sexuality changes throughout one's lifetime = and relationship love changes too
      after two years of passionate sex, love flips on its head and it becomes more about the souls and a deeper love, it's not about SEX anymore and like a fine wine, it gets a more complex flavour - it's higher level shit

    • @debc6268
      @debc6268 7 років тому +40

      Fillemon Hamakali exactly my point she was fooled

    • @suzettehernandez8200
      @suzettehernandez8200 7 років тому +61

      Fillemon Hamakali not exactly what she expected either 😩 .. but it was nice to listen to

    • @elvinowe
      @elvinowe 6 років тому +51

      that's what she said.

    • @fatimasow6887
      @fatimasow6887 6 років тому +15

      You can say that again! Didn't know TEDx has unless videos

  • @petalss5325
    @petalss5325 7 років тому +4495

    Omg her honesty level... total respect to her courage to accept a person as one is and to speak abt the journey
    i'm awed.

    • @schoolkutielake5336
      @schoolkutielake5336 6 років тому +2

      Lovely Video! Apologies for the intrusion, I would love your thoughts. Have you heard the talk about - Chiveard Discovering Potential Framework (google it)? It is a great one off guide for finding your true calling and achieving success without the headache. Ive heard some decent things about it and my mate after many years got amazing results with it.

    • @nickandchrismom
      @nickandchrismom 5 років тому

      Agreed

    • @zoraidacastro5403
      @zoraidacastro5403 3 роки тому

      Likewise

  • @RosePetal17
    @RosePetal17 5 років тому +255

    I love the line, "I felt like I had a home inside this person's soul."

  • @CenteredlParentingTV
    @CenteredlParentingTV 5 років тому +1272

    i love the definition of soulmate being the person you can find in the dark. without all the worldly trappings to distract us, could we simply feel around the room with our hearts and find that person? there's such a sweetness and purity to it.

    • @---hc6tf
      @---hc6tf 5 років тому +4

      In the department store, we just have a special whistle in case we get separated... and our phones are in the vehicles... but yeah we could probably use if there was a power outage. I didn't think of that.
      Sometimes I like to study the gimmick organic products a little too long, I get distracted.

    • @armyshope
      @armyshope 4 роки тому

      It's someone similar to you

    • @joilisch
      @joilisch 4 роки тому +19

      I love the whole concept of soulmates, how for some they start to mirror each other after a long relationship and then there are those who just start to do it naturally after the first meeting, some even synchronise their movements at the same time as their partner without knowing, It's scary, but somehow hopeful to witness.

    • @armyshope
      @armyshope 4 роки тому +2

      @@joilisch J-HOPE is mine soulmate then?I feel this about him,you have described it.

    • @aniaorozco3156
      @aniaorozco3156 4 роки тому +9

      Angelina Hart I met my boyfriend five months ago, he works at a hotel I was staying in, he’s part of the activities staff, there was a Mexican party, there was a lot of people dancing, me and my parents were sitting at a table, he was literally across the room, passed through the crowd to our table and asked my dad for permission to dance with me. We talked a little exchanged numbers and facebooks, we started talking a bit more and he told me that he saw me across the room, through all that crowd, and that everything else went blurry and he felt like he HAD to go to me. So he basically found his soulmate in a dark room, he just felt it.

  • @dailydoseofhealth6995
    @dailydoseofhealth6995 6 років тому +369

    Don't "look" for your soulmate, "feel" for your soulmate! Beautiful talk, thank you so much for sharing your journey. Incredible.

  • @yik7916
    @yik7916 7 років тому +5398

    You guys, she didn't specify if her spouse was always that way or was experiencing the struggle later on in her life. This entire video is her tearing down the walls of soulmate expectancy. She wanted a respectful man, and for a while she got that. But that man became a woman, and she realized that even though she hated feeling like she was being judged, she still felt like her spouse is her soulmate. She still felt a loving connection that overpowered the looks of her wife. She does not seem regretful about her relationship at all. She seems emotional about her journey but not negatively, and she seems a little nervous about giving this speech to a potentially judgmental crowd. And I doubt she would be giving a fucking Ted Talks speech about it if she felt obligated to this woman. I mean, her spouse did give her an opportunity to say no and/or leave, but she didn't leave.
    The point of this is her saying that she didn't get what she thought she needed, but she still got the loving relationship she was looking for.

    • @larissafischinger7653
      @larissafischinger7653 6 років тому +29

      YES!

    • @louisec-m9503
      @louisec-m9503 6 років тому +29

      Well said!

    • @JimmysTractor
      @JimmysTractor 6 років тому +30

      If you are happy as you can be, that's all that matters.

    • @sousekisui
      @sousekisui 6 років тому +6

      Yik pardon me but I don’t really understand..so her soul mate was at first a male or a female?

    • @angelainamarie9656
      @angelainamarie9656 6 років тому +23

      We're always this way, darlin. We're just not sure we're allowed to show it.

  • @attoooh
    @attoooh 5 років тому +1794

    First 4 minutes * past tense *
    Myself: * anxiety intensifies * "Why is it PAST and not PRESENT?!"

  • @elizaheathen
    @elizaheathen 5 років тому +2107

    if anyone here is new to this video...I've just done some very basic research on this couple and Ashley has now transitioned to Ethan...mind blown

    • @kidzeezy0112
      @kidzeezy0112 5 років тому +140

      I am not surprised, they need to change the title.

    • @cobblecattt
      @cobblecattt 5 років тому +77

      MIND BLOWN INDEED!! 😲😲😲

    • @novu6196
      @novu6196 5 років тому +35

      Where can I find them? :00 I'm so interested at how they look together ^^

    • @suciwulandari5628
      @suciwulandari5628 5 років тому +148

      gosh the whole talks was a jaw dropping and now this....

    • @crickettweeks4417
      @crickettweeks4417 4 роки тому +20

      Found it! ABC News did a story on it! MIND BLOWING 💣💣💣

  • @sigmavitali333
    @sigmavitali333 7 років тому +4725

    Came in expecting the Soul Mate myth to be debunked, left feeling like none of my questions were answered.

    • @ZosiaSamosiaOo
      @ZosiaSamosiaOo 7 років тому +240

      Because it's not a myth, soulmates really do exist!

    • @lemonsavery
      @lemonsavery 7 років тому +32

      mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm explain...

    • @amandaconstanza
      @amandaconstanza 6 років тому +231

      once I read about "soulmates", and it can even be a friend, and it is not necessarily a lover that you can be with the rest of your life. Also, it has to do with relationships in previous lifes and stuff like that.

    • @user-xw9yz3bn8l
      @user-xw9yz3bn8l 6 років тому

      Amanda Pérez hello possibl known you

    • @gabriellalopez6537
      @gabriellalopez6537 6 років тому +128

      The way I took it is, if you are willing to stay with someone through even their big changes. Then you have found your soulmate.

  • @laetis.860
    @laetis.860 7 років тому +1653

    That plot twist though

    • @Jobe-13
      @Jobe-13 5 років тому +1

      Laeti S. Ikr

    • @amooraambreen2731
      @amooraambreen2731 5 років тому +4

      I read the description before that came and spoiled it for myself ughhh

    • @samantha4130
      @samantha4130 5 років тому +1

      Anna333 Wow. Wasn’t expecting that. I’ve just been googling the lady in the video....and I was so confused for a moment. Plot twist indeed! I wonder if her spouse hadn’t been trans would she have discovered this also about herself!? Intriguing!

    • @olayinkaadeyemi6389
      @olayinkaadeyemi6389 5 років тому

      😱

    • @olayinkaadeyemi6389
      @olayinkaadeyemi6389 5 років тому

      @@amooraambreen2731 lol it's ok.

  • @vhdangel
    @vhdangel 4 роки тому +1262

    This isn't about finding a soulmate. This woman is just talking about her personal journey.

    • @imbored9156
      @imbored9156 4 роки тому +100

      Take time to think about it to yourself instead of instantly jumping to conclusions. What is she trying to convey by telling her story?

    • @alcachofillapodrida4866
      @alcachofillapodrida4866 4 роки тому +9

      @@imbored9156 Actually I don't know and I need help.

    • @freemanism123
      @freemanism123 4 роки тому +3

      Agree with you

    • @alongpongener8997
      @alongpongener8997 4 роки тому +17

      We need high IQ to understand her speech

    • @lynellvickerman3813
      @lynellvickerman3813 3 роки тому +9

      I see red flags for that remark

  • @tracyclingings2531
    @tracyclingings2531 4 роки тому +191

    I was married to my soulmate and lost him in 2012. He wasn't supposed to go before me and now I'm not sure what to do! Great speech! Hugs 🤗

    • @adamsthomasgreene5653
      @adamsthomasgreene5653 2 роки тому +8

      Same here, I lost my soulmate in 2015 and since then I haven't had the time to be or want another. She was just the best.

  • @mrskmae
    @mrskmae 7 років тому +1985

    This woman is incredible. I speak from knowing her as a child and even today. Her soul shines brightly through the struggle and I am so proud of her.

    • @ZosiaSamosiaOo
      @ZosiaSamosiaOo 7 років тому +15

      How does she confront her situation with her Christian faith?

    • @jiensuyang3915
      @jiensuyang3915 7 років тому +6

      u don't know her. this thing is staged.

    • @mrskmae
      @mrskmae 7 років тому +90

      Roses LOL she was my best friend in middle school and I chatted with her about her talk before she did it. I know it may seem difficult to understand that people have friends, but perhaps you shouldn't project your lack of friends on others. Just a thought!

    • @mrskmae
      @mrskmae 7 років тому +79

      ZosiaSamosiaOo I can ask her but if I know her well enough, I would assume that to her moral compass leads her to radiate love despite everything. Jesus is about love, not judgment.

    • @ZosiaSamosiaOo
      @ZosiaSamosiaOo 7 років тому +26

      That's true, but that doesn't mean you can do whatever you want as he'll love you anyway right? You're supposed to help people prevent their sins and not encourage them, so I'm wondering whether she started to pick and choose or just dropped her faith overall. She mentioned it for a reason, after all. It would be nice if you could ask her, or even better if she would actually come on here and respond to the comments. :)

  • @HartAngel5
    @HartAngel5 6 років тому +2512

    This isn't really a talk on meeting your soulmate. It's more of just a life story of THIS woman's journey meeting her soulmate. The title is sadly misleading.

    • @MrGalonge
      @MrGalonge 4 роки тому +59

      How can you watch that and not think this is about finding your soulmate? Great Expectations and Catcher in the Rye are novels about Pip and Holden Caufield; doesn't mean they aren't about the societal and personal journey young people face as they grow older.

    • @domeniques3498
      @domeniques3498 4 роки тому +6

      I feel you

    • @curlyclouds9
      @curlyclouds9 4 роки тому +14

      very misleading

    • @SamSam24270
      @SamSam24270 4 роки тому +17

      Thanks for the tip off, your right she is just telling her life story, not about have you met your soul mate.

    • @yoondami1127
      @yoondami1127 4 роки тому +31

      She spoke about how to find your soulmate through her story. The process is something beyond we can actually do as greedy materialistic humans. It's a lot deeper.

  • @KingaGorski
    @KingaGorski Рік тому +20

    The depth of compassion, empathy, and love this woman has is tremendous.

  • @randomnessofNadia
    @randomnessofNadia 2 роки тому +30

    That is true love. Your soulmate is not the vessel, but truly the soul inside. So proud and happy of you and your spouse.

  • @conghaunguyen4546
    @conghaunguyen4546 7 років тому +1358

    Soul mate the person whom can shares deep affection and understanding
    . I have not met them in my life

    • @saraf5414
      @saraf5414 7 років тому +6

      hear hear!

    • @alice.L.
      @alice.L. 7 років тому +11

      Conghau Nguyen it exists.Mine was kind of a jerk and too different.It felt cool and weird like u know what they will say next or read ur mind and if they arent sitting next to you then you feel their presence for a bit when they are far away.

    • @paxsmile
      @paxsmile 7 років тому +8

      Conghau Nguyen Me neither.. not in my children, not in relationships, siblings or parents.. nowhere 😪

    • @olaishere
      @olaishere 6 років тому +7

      Conghau Nguyen I'm lucky enough to find two soul mates .. one I loved and the other was my friend

    • @Itjusthappened0
      @Itjusthappened0 6 років тому +1

      Same

  • @EmilyReese
    @EmilyReese 7 років тому +1999

    Ashley, I am very impressed with your transparency and strength. Thank you for sharing your journey with others!

    • @ColdHT69
      @ColdHT69 6 років тому +4

      Transparent? Like the honest title?

    • @chriswest7639
      @chriswest7639 5 років тому

      ColdHT69 pretty sure she didn’t write it

    • @samantha4130
      @samantha4130 5 років тому +1

      Emily Reese Ashley is now Ethan. Yes it’s true!!!!

  • @arraine
    @arraine 5 років тому +73

    I've been through this myself, and seeing my wife and soulmate grow into herself is the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen. It's a hugely difficult journey, but it is absolutely worth all of the hardships.

  • @yukifujita5856
    @yukifujita5856 3 роки тому +74

    I'm 68 years old, married for 41 years, two grown kids, and I feel I have not met my soulmate yet. It's not what I thought it would be for the last 35 years. I need to get back to my real wants and ideals. It's a little scary, but not as bad as if I went for what life should be for me. Rather be alone but content, than being angry and unhappy.

    • @asphaltbeast3859
      @asphaltbeast3859 2 роки тому +2

      Wish you the best man

    • @br5821
      @br5821 2 роки тому +1

      Wish you find your happiness

    • @MaamafricaEsther
      @MaamafricaEsther 2 роки тому

      profound. so a non-ending search

    • @franpatterson5460
      @franpatterson5460 2 роки тому +1

      I know exactly how you feel and I wish you luck, don't give up.

  • @Swanky95472
    @Swanky95472 6 років тому +2298

    my soul mate is my cat! She's been in my life for 20 years and I love her so much!

    • @sungrae1004
      @sungrae1004 6 років тому +5

      Swankster me too

    • @moonchild1432
      @moonchild1432 6 років тому +5

      sameeee

    • @dimitrav8601
      @dimitrav8601 5 років тому +115

      I didn't know cats can live for so long

    • @thehollyannrose
      @thehollyannrose 5 років тому +8

      Same. He's been in mine for almost six!

    • @waysav
      @waysav 5 років тому +42

      Yup, cats can live 20 years, but that's about the max.

  • @magsg3302
    @magsg3302 5 років тому +178

    i love her capacity to learn and grow out of what society has conditioned her!

    • @zorga0001
      @zorga0001 2 роки тому +3

      Actually she is reflecting EXACTLY what society (Social Justice warriors) have conditioned her to think.

  • @Unzatic
    @Unzatic 4 роки тому +287

    They had us in the first half, not gonna lie.

  • @maisong4364
    @maisong4364 5 років тому +45

    “Would you even know how to recognize your soulmate? Would you know what you are looking for?” LOVED THAT.

  • @annalapolt2370
    @annalapolt2370 5 років тому +30

    this is truly the definition of a soulmate. loving the person that completes you, no matter what

  • @risankati
    @risankati 6 років тому +83

    My boyfriend is my soulmate and I knew it the second I saw him. And I knew exactly what I was looking for before I even met him. There is nothing that he could do that could chase me away, as long as he still kept all his kindness and his beautiful soul. I love her point, it's about knowing what you want and not just rushing into relationships just because it sucks to be alone. Knowing what you want and finding it and loving it unconditionally is the best thing ever. :)

    • @DaudZaidi
      @DaudZaidi Рік тому +5

      Are you still together ?

    • @mariotapia5761
      @mariotapia5761 Рік тому +2

      Are you still together?????????

    • @risankati
      @risankati Рік тому +19

      Yea, we're married and have two sons :)

  • @kikiann30
    @kikiann30 4 роки тому +30

    I’m surprised at how many negative comments there are. This is so beautiful, it shows that love goes far beyond a societal box. We live in such a superficial society. Love is love. People divorce over way less. The fact they are still married throughout everything they have been through shows they are soulmates.

  • @cherahsBroll
    @cherahsBroll 5 років тому +5

    This is one of the most beautiful and thought-provoking TEDx Talks I’ve heard/seen. Wow, I have no words . . .

  • @Ilikefrogs..
    @Ilikefrogs.. 7 років тому +367

    Seriously, this would make a great movie.

    • @jomontanee
      @jomontanee 7 років тому +18

      And it will be titled "Big Little Lie"

    • @raghebabunahla115
      @raghebabunahla115 5 років тому +39

      Check out The Danish Girl

    • @misbahnoor8045
      @misbahnoor8045 5 років тому +8

      GwendolynRaine lol the Danish Girl!! There is already a movie like this.

    • @aylin534
      @aylin534 5 років тому +5

      Theres a movie called Lawrence, Anyways

    • @gracebeautyxox
      @gracebeautyxox 5 років тому +13

      Do you know what's even more of a plot twist? I just looked up her Facebook to see if she publically posts about their journey and she seems to have transitioned to male! I would love to hear a second part of the Ted Talk.

  • @mochiyumyum5480
    @mochiyumyum5480 7 років тому +784

    I'm not looking for soulmate
    I'm not looking for somebody
    With some superhuman gifts
    Some superhero or super girl
    Some fairytale bliss
    Just something I can turn to
    Somebody that I can laugh with
    Somebody I can kiss

    • @maverickkanav
      @maverickkanav 6 років тому +4

      Mochi Yumyum no one loves me 😣😥

    • @itzelhuerta7814
      @itzelhuerta7814 6 років тому +24

      Mochi Yumyum I sea what you did there 👀

    • @LCbabyxO
      @LCbabyxO 6 років тому +1

      Mochi Yumyum aw ❤️❤️❤️ same lol

    • @vinidubey8902
      @vinidubey8902 6 років тому +33

      Yeah, I too want something just like this

    • @lover20181
      @lover20181 6 років тому +12

      tbh i want someone who will listen,talk,comfort,love,kiss,hug, and be loyal to me

  • @yeppichippi
    @yeppichippi 5 років тому +30

    I could not still find my soulmate, but I have a courageous, briliant and cute sister. She is the best person ever.

  • @ebbflow8002
    @ebbflow8002 Рік тому +6

    I commend u for being this vulnerable (honest) & sharing the process u went through. It’s a refreshing perspective on how we as a society interpret soul mates/ love/ marriage & how, at times, stigmatization is planted without knowing it. Thank u.

  • @ziggy_starz
    @ziggy_starz 6 років тому +146

    Hey guys, the point is that it didn’t matter that she was trans in the end. She found her soulmate, and because of a connection that strong, she loved that person no matter what and stuck with her through it all. There’s no need to go on some tangent about how mad you’d be if your partner came out as trans. Once you find your soulmate, you stick with them and their struggles.

  • @gent8940
    @gent8940 7 років тому +864

    It's interesting that Ashley chose the words "I was told that my partner was transgender". Not: "My partner told me he was transgender". I hope she didn't learn this important information secondhand.

    • @ziggy_starz
      @ziggy_starz 6 років тому +261

      Genevieve Tran I think she was avoiding pronouns to keep the twist secret.

    • @newiehamilton2286
      @newiehamilton2286 6 років тому +175

      Naw, she was avoiding pronouns to make the shift distinct in her speech. In the first half, her spouse was presenting as male and lived as male. In the second half her spouse is presenting as female and living as female. So, she wanted to make that shift as concise as possible.

    • @blessingeffiong4669
      @blessingeffiong4669 5 років тому

      @@newiehamilton2286 x

    • @nifa89
      @nifa89 5 років тому +3

      I had the same question....

    • @ghostfox13
      @ghostfox13 5 років тому +2

      Bro...spoiler warning next time.

  • @tenacious1
    @tenacious1 5 років тому +7

    Had watched this a couple of years ago but stumbled upon it again today. Wow! Her story - Deep. An example of unconditional love. True love.

  • @lovorlie9549
    @lovorlie9549 5 років тому +6

    A partner in life is someone you stand by through thick and thin. Theyre both so brave. I have so much respect for her understanding and support of her wife. That's bravery and faith and compassion.

  • @daydreaminhoney
    @daydreaminhoney 6 років тому +12

    Ashley, this is such a powerful message about acceptance and self-discovery. You are so powerful in your ability to do what is right for you and let society's expectations fall away. Much love to you and your spouse.

  • @GeorgiaIsOnMyMind
    @GeorgiaIsOnMyMind 6 років тому +20

    Her honesty is commendable. I'm happy she is this honest with herself as she was with the rest of us, and that we can all do it too.

  • @andreaexceedsrubies
    @andreaexceedsrubies 4 роки тому +5

    My soulmate encouraged me to explore all types of music when we met as a teen. Recently after almost 30 years, I made sure that he knew that he is inspiring. Love him :)

  • @Dollbhabie
    @Dollbhabie 5 років тому +3

    When she said I could find her in this room if it where completely dark. I bawled. THIS IS LOVE!

  • @McFraneth
    @McFraneth 7 років тому +566

    Oh my God you courageous woman. Bless you for not leaving her and for being there for her. You are admirable and a decent human being.

    • @Blake-dk7yk
      @Blake-dk7yk 5 років тому +2

      "she" transitioned to and goes by Ethan now

    • @robertturnip7850
      @robertturnip7850 5 років тому +6

      Ok so if she decided she didn't want to be with a trans woman, that would make her indecent?

    • @Blake-dk7yk
      @Blake-dk7yk 5 років тому +2

      He is a trans man and leaving someone for being who they are is a bit of a low blow

    • @robertturnip7850
      @robertturnip7850 5 років тому +5

      It might be a low blow but it might not be what she wants out of life. I wouldn’t want to spend my entire life explaining my relationship to people. I know it’s not fashionable to say it but most people still just want a “normal” life.
      Her husband also kept it a secret from her and also from his previous partner who he also had kids with. What does that say about him?

    • @Blake-dk7yk
      @Blake-dk7yk 5 років тому

      people don't always relies they are trans, SHE relised much later in life and her now Husband ended up relising a bit later. The person in this video is now transitioning into a male and goes by Ethan and Ashley her wife didn't lie to anyone, and their is no such thing as a normal life.

  • @victoriaknowsbest
    @victoriaknowsbest 7 років тому +2994

    this title is misleading...just saying

  • @chelseabunker2391
    @chelseabunker2391 10 місяців тому +1

    This was so powerful. Thank you for being vulnerable in front of an entire audience and sharing such a huge confusing emotional thing with such grace humility and honesty

  • @beckopcie2165
    @beckopcie2165 5 років тому +2

    Amazing TEDTalk, solid concept and delivery. One of the best I've seen.

  • @daringcow
    @daringcow 7 років тому +246

    I believe true love touches the spirit, has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with who we are as humans. Its a line connecting you and another. And while it can be broken her story shows it can also strenghten and become more powerful. I wish them long and happy life.

    • @kisora_55597
      @kisora_55597 6 років тому +3

      carrotandfennel 150,000%

    • @oldladytrexarms
      @oldladytrexarms 6 років тому +8

      True love is loving the person for who they are spiritually and essencely. The personality. The invisible being that is them. Gender, physical bodies, likes, dislikes, etc... should all just be a bonus. You need to truly love a person for everything, cause looks and likes dwindle, then what's left if you didn't like them simply for who they are?

  • @2126Eliza
    @2126Eliza 7 років тому +1786

    In the beginning she sounds excited and inspired, but later on she sounds confused and stressed. A lot of her partner's qualities she loved are listed in the past tense. I feel bad for her. It sounds like she's been convinced that if she leaves, she's a bad person. It's sad to watch someone stay based on what they miss. If she met that person now, she wouldn't want to be with her.

    • @ashleylove8037
      @ashleylove8037 7 років тому +102

      you are very intuitive great feedback!

    • @Capinyx
      @Capinyx 7 років тому +258

      I think she is only nervous of what the audience will think

    • @2126Eliza
      @2126Eliza 7 років тому +133

      Capinyx She sounds unsure of her feelings when explaining their current situation. She seems pretty confident in front of an audience.

    • @Psichotica7
      @Psichotica7 7 років тому +201

      Damn, I felt the exact same way listening to her. She doesn't seem at peace with this situation at all, still very hurt :(
      She is lying to herself. Anyone who can't see this is deluding themselves in the name of wishful thinking.

    • @2126Eliza
      @2126Eliza 7 років тому +260

      Psichotica7 It's not really the fault of her partner, but the trans community does make people feel guilty for everything that doesn't align with their beliefs. She's not transphobic for saying, I fell in love with who you were and I'm not attracted to women. Her happiness is important too.

  • @CoffeewithCarey
    @CoffeewithCarey 3 роки тому +108

    I worry that people who believe in soulmates don’t have the same willingness to work at relationships and don’t put effort into developing great connections because they are waiting for perfection. In fact, I made an entire UA-cam episode on the subject because it’s been such a big issue for a few clients.

    • @MO-ws2tn
      @MO-ws2tn 3 роки тому +3

      Yes. Dr Ramany has a great video about the construct of soul mates as seen through narcissism. Great episode.
      I'll watch your's.

    • @trenchrock
      @trenchrock 3 роки тому +14

      I think it's because there is a misconception that a soulmate is supposed to complete you or be just like you or be exactly what you want. The reality is that most people wont even meet their soulmate until they have worked on themselves. A true soulmate doesn't complete you because you should be complete when you meet them. You have to do the work to get to that place on your own. In addition, some people feel like they don't need/want a soulmate and all this means is that you are meant to do more important things in your life journey than focus on giving/receiving love. It is not narcissistic to want a partner to share your life with that makes you feel fulfilled and appreciated, that is called a healthy relationship. And you in turn can open your heart too and fill their cup as well. If you don't believe in soulmates or you think they are unhealthy, you should do some more research on the topic and perhaps the difference between karmic/soulmate relationships

    • @hamzaawan6489
      @hamzaawan6489 3 роки тому +2

      @@MO-ws2tn Hey, can you share the link?

    • @crosssection6289
      @crosssection6289 2 роки тому

      Much respect!

  • @jobelle5470
    @jobelle5470 5 років тому +2

    This was....beyond beautiful. At the same time touching on several topics. Just wow

  • @brittp.5916
    @brittp.5916 6 років тому +712

    Oh my. I'm bisexual and I would still have a really hard time with that.

    • @cariad123
      @cariad123 5 років тому +5

      It gets easier.

    • @hanimay6843
      @hanimay6843 5 років тому +14

      Are you sure you're bi? Cause you definitely don't sound like it if your partner's gender would make you take issue. I'm pan and I wouldn't care.

    • @lumvilumvi
      @lumvilumvi 5 років тому +37

      Hamm Hamm Well, there’s a reason why you’re a PAN, and why they’re BI?

    • @kidzeezy0112
      @kidzeezy0112 5 років тому +3

      @@lumvilumvi I still do not get it tbh, nowadays TWO genders act like they are from a different world, the real causes are just psychological "changes/impacts" that affected them during their childhood/teenage years that left a mark in their subconsciousness and how they "view" themselves.

    • @binaryflip6129
      @binaryflip6129 5 років тому +17

      Hamm Hamm They know how they feel and who they are. You ain’t here to question it.
      Bi people can be more attracted to one gender than another. And if you fell in love with a man, you love that man, and it can be really hard to understand the change.

  • @emc5807
    @emc5807 6 років тому +408

    Soul mate? That’s clickbait.
    Should be called “My husband is now my wife”

    • @neberboi
      @neberboi 4 роки тому +14

      It would probably get more clicks too

    • @swagatabhattacharjee4151
      @swagatabhattacharjee4151 4 роки тому +2

      So,the main mould is still same.

    • @KaelDenna
      @KaelDenna 4 роки тому +7

      "and i'm her husband now" (ashley transitiones to ethan j clift. look it up on twitter)

    • @jomontanee
      @jomontanee 4 роки тому +1

      "And I am her husband now." (Real life plot twist)

  • @hilarymac5394
    @hilarymac5394 3 роки тому +5

    This was absolutely incredible and beautiful. Thank you

  • @laylette4017
    @laylette4017 4 роки тому +7

    I needed this video more than anything right now. The absolute love of my life came out to me two days ago and God it's been a train-wreck and a rollercoaster and a crying-fest at the same time.

  • @Tinyfaeries
    @Tinyfaeries 7 років тому +224

    Interesting that her soulmate changed sex but is still her soulmate. I read somewhere that your soulmate is not necessarily your spouse, but can also be your best friend. Great sacrifice she made for her partner. Really love story. Would like to know how she knew her soulmate would be an INFJ, though.

    • @tinamarie8061
      @tinamarie8061 6 років тому +23

      Merisha De Voux yep! Some ppls soul mate is their Mother, twin, cousin, or brother. Soul mates do not have to be in a romantic relationship. It’s like Gail & Oprah. Lol

    • @Julsies7
      @Julsies7 6 років тому +18

      she most likely is an enfp, another type within the myers briggs system. enfp's and infj's are said to be soulmates due to the arrangement of their cognitive functions. if she had taken the test and gotten that she was an enfp, she would have known to look for an infj.

    • @daydreaminhoney
      @daydreaminhoney 6 років тому +11

      Your soulmate is not necessarily a spouse or even a romantic partner. They may simply be your best friend. Gender doesn't have anything to do with one's soul.

    • @KreativeKay
      @KreativeKay 6 років тому +4

      Merisha De Voux soul mates don't always end up being romantic partners.

    • @billycrystal4724
      @billycrystal4724 5 років тому +2

      I read that entp which is what i am are supposed to match wonderfully with infj

  • @Smilelikeyou-mean-it
    @Smilelikeyou-mean-it 6 років тому +16

    I loved what she said about how it felt like someone died and you got to know a new person. That's exactly how I felt when someone close to me came out as trans. They're still the same person yes, but your whole image of them changes and they begin to explore sides of themself that were previously not "allowed" due to percieved gender. I grieved for the person I felt like I lost, but I also gained another whom I love just as deeply.

  • @cielolopez3019
    @cielolopez3019 4 роки тому +31

    My best friend is my soulmate! He’s the best and most amazing person I’ve ever in my life. I knew it the moment I met him. It was just a vibe and it changed me forever. He’s my one and only and the only person that has and will ever make me feel the way. He’s my best friend, my parter, and my soulmate. ❤️

  • @phucanhell
    @phucanhell 5 років тому +2

    That pause at the end.... is everything... and props to the dude who stood up. Ted talks are about making you question your paradigm and she nailed it!

  • @I.Am.Limitless
    @I.Am.Limitless 6 років тому +24

    OMG I get what she said so much..I mean..I have met this man who I wouldn't otherwise feel any physical attraction for at all, but there was something in him that made me love him straight away, he became a friend of mine instantly, he is my best friend right now and I love him immensely..I believe he is my soul mate..we have a connection I never thought I would have with someone

  • @cclemonff
    @cclemonff 6 років тому +252

    Why are there so many ppl in the comments talking about betrayal and lying when none of us know the whole story? Being trans isn't always sth ppl just know, they have to at least first come out to themselves before coming out to their SO, neither of those are easy. So I don't think it's fair to just assume she wanted to betray or lie to her wife.

  • @Aquarius7172
    @Aquarius7172 4 роки тому +5

    Love it ! great job:) we are always scared of what other people will think, it's so sad. We have reached freedom when we no longer care and follow our heart and soul. Inspirational

  • @jaeking609
    @jaeking609 2 роки тому +1

    She put words so nicely to what I’ve been trying to say for months which is if we couldn’t see or hear anything, I could find her and identify her, and there’s no other feeling I’d rather have

  • @cascreed6386
    @cascreed6386 6 років тому +5

    This is so beautiful! I'm so happy and proud of these amazing women!!

  • @jenloveslife8890
    @jenloveslife8890 5 років тому +7

    you are such a strong person and your partner, too! great you deal with it together as a team! I love to hear this!

  • @larasmith2931
    @larasmith2931 4 роки тому +10

    🦋when I met my husband it was like a moth to a flame. I am thankful that God put the fire in my soul to never settle for butterflies

  • @kimberlybrockman6230
    @kimberlybrockman6230 5 років тому +1

    Omg she has me in tears! What a beautiful human being. That's absolutely what love looks like.

  • @funbun469
    @funbun469 5 років тому +3

    This is such a beautiful story! It is so rare to find people who you can have a deep connection.

  • @fiflag
    @fiflag 6 років тому +17

    I don't believe in soulmates, but I think it's beautiful how strong this woman's love is for her wife.

  • @phuonglinh3712
    @phuonglinh3712 2 роки тому +2

    such an honor to be heard . i appreciate her story !

  • @scarletradiopodcast
    @scarletradiopodcast 5 років тому

    Your honesty is immaculate

  • @billwong6077
    @billwong6077 7 років тому +90

    wow... very deep and profound talk. You are very brave! I give you props as a fellow TEDx Talker on how you shared your subject.

  • @anewloveofficial9137
    @anewloveofficial9137 6 років тому +56

    There's a point in our life where we don't believe in soulmate anymore because we tend to attract the wrong person in our life but don't lose your hope because anyone who've gone through a lot of failed relationships will only lead them to the right person in the future.

    • @2126Eliza
      @2126Eliza 4 роки тому

      I hope it doesn't take a lot!

    • @keonagirl435
      @keonagirl435 4 роки тому

      A New Love Off. I hope YOU'RE right! I'd love ASAP to get that!

    • @euphoria156
      @euphoria156 4 роки тому +1

      Completely FALSE --> "anyone who've gone through a lot of failed relationships will only lead them to the right person in the future." That person doesn't know what he/she's looking for or dont know how to judge ppl. And might never find a soul mate.

    • @2126Eliza
      @2126Eliza 4 роки тому +1

      euphoria156 They're learning and maintaining their faith in love, whereas narcissists and users can never find real love and they can't improve either

  • @BlueyedFolk
    @BlueyedFolk 5 років тому +5

    I feel her so much. As she stands so confident and sure of herself. So eloquent and open minded!
    And we have the same last name :]

  • @heatherrussell2634
    @heatherrussell2634 4 роки тому +13

    Oh wow. That’s true unconditional kind of love

  • @KateCarew
    @KateCarew 5 років тому +890

    Okay, plot twist, Ashley is now a man named Ethan...

    • @_Scotchie
      @_Scotchie 5 років тому +8

      Yes!

    • @SherrillCuCu
      @SherrillCuCu 5 років тому +48

      SHUT UP. I had to Google that. I am so confused........

    • @KateCarew
      @KateCarew 5 років тому +15

      Sherrill CuCu me too, it took me down a looooong deep dive in the google monster!!

    • @SherrillCuCu
      @SherrillCuCu 5 років тому +4

      YUP hahah. Still in shock.

    • @cesarandino931
      @cesarandino931 5 років тому +6

      Wow

  • @paperplains7285
    @paperplains7285 6 років тому +362

    Here's a tip: don't marry someone after 6 months of dating. It will make your life easier.

    • @Jblah
      @Jblah 5 років тому +1

      LMAO useless advice. Try being real longer then 2 seconds. Maby someone worthy will notice youre worthy more then just the occasional d. LMAO

    • @geniusdork1476
      @geniusdork1476 5 років тому +24

      .... my parents dated for about 2 months and they've been married for 19 years. Also, my parents tried to have their first kid what it feels like forever, specifically 5 years. It got to the point where my parents get emotional seeing a kid with their parents (for my mom, a diaper can make her emotional). My dad's a patient person and i'm grateful. So yea, they're very in love with eachother because people here mostly marry because they want to have descendants of their own flesh and blood. 5 years after their marriage they had me, and 3 years later, they had my brother.

    • @Jblah
      @Jblah 4 роки тому +1

      @@geniusdork1476 Thats wassup bless

    • @geniusdork1476
      @geniusdork1476 4 роки тому

      @@Jblah thanks lol

    • @tsarsrule5
      @tsarsrule5 4 роки тому

      True

  • @juliab.5480
    @juliab.5480 5 років тому +2

    This is beautiful 😭😭😭 thank you for sharing

  • @evalove11
    @evalove11 4 роки тому +5

    Wow. This was one of the most beautiful Ted talks I’ve ever heard. Thank you for your poignant and gorgeously human share. May we all move further into liberation and alignment to our soul’s truth ❤️🙏🏽

  • @quainzebidiah7413
    @quainzebidiah7413 7 років тому +186

    Love her voice

  • @mele.8397
    @mele.8397 6 років тому +82

    That went from 0-100 real quick...

    • @ceecee8757
      @ceecee8757 4 роки тому +1

      Or 100 to zero. Lol!!

  • @junipern.5219
    @junipern.5219 5 років тому +2

    This was really beautiful, thank you.

  • @mamaortiz5058
    @mamaortiz5058 4 роки тому +14

    I met my soulmate...it's a crazy feeling that can't be explained.

  • @mariadangelo3649
    @mariadangelo3649 5 років тому +6

    Amazing story! Thanks for the courage to share this. People can learn so much from this story. Its whats inside a person that speaks to you , with which you connect and with which you fall in love.

  • @emilythesongbird2306
    @emilythesongbird2306 7 років тому +320

    Beautiful talk Ashley! Thank you for your honesty and courage. What a gift you have in your relationship to grow and deepen the love beyond gender boundaries. Thank you.

    • @jomontanee
      @jomontanee 7 років тому +15

      "beyond gender boundaries"..... nope, this marriage is built on a big big lie.

    • @kanna312
      @kanna312 6 років тому +5

      'Built,' not broken.

    • @adamsthomasgreene5653
      @adamsthomasgreene5653 2 роки тому

      It's nice to really be around beautiful women with Intelligence and an open mindset. Kudos to you all.

  • @lamusic1996
    @lamusic1996 Рік тому +2

    Lovely talk. Thank you for pointing out that we all have souls we forget about by putting ppl in the boxes created by our society. You will be aware of your soul by touching someone’s soul only.

  • @maryannemuriithi5652
    @maryannemuriithi5652 2 роки тому +2

    "People have a presence in the world, they have a look...that are outward facing, that everybody identifies them by and puts them into boxes...that's how we categorize people when we get to know them...but underneath there's a soul that's deeper, stronger and much more identifiable than that presence..." Good stuff!!!

  • @morganolfursson2560
    @morganolfursson2560 7 років тому +115

    She is one of the most intelligent type of person right here .
    Her partner is one extremely lucky person, because she married a Unicorn .
    This human being right here is the rarest of breed .

  • @sunprincipe4711
    @sunprincipe4711 5 років тому +6

    Amazing. A true testimony to love.

  • @scott-o3345
    @scott-o3345 3 роки тому +4

    "I'm kind of a unique character." You got that right.

  • @richardfoley4752
    @richardfoley4752 2 роки тому +1

    Interesting talk about facing changes to your life and your relationship/s driven by your partner's urges and feelings. Much kudos to you, Ashley, for accepting your partner's changes and standing by them. Most people cannot do this.

  • @larissa8326
    @larissa8326 4 роки тому +26

    Me in the end: "NO, COMEBACK!! How could I find my soulmate?!! I'm a poor lost soul in this great world"

    • @bechikhnaoufel3395
      @bechikhnaoufel3395 4 роки тому +2

      not really, you are not the only person struggling in this world.

  • @sophiamac9100
    @sophiamac9100 6 років тому +70

    So, a soulmate is someone who keeps the truth from you, hides their true feelings, allows you to assume a reality that is not even there ... For me a soul mate is about honesty regardless of genders.

  • @mollymathew6815
    @mollymathew6815 4 роки тому +1

    So beautiful!! Love the purity of your soul!!

  • @dellavest9269
    @dellavest9269 6 років тому +9

    Very brave and honest. Hard to lose your spouse to another woman, especially if that woman is himself. No one ever says how much horror is involved with true love...and the fact that she loves her "soul mate" enough to let the physical manifestation of that person go and accept the new normal so that her love can be truly who they are, and for them to be happy, speaks volumes for her character, and the depth of the love she has for her person. She is a tough person. I wish them both very well.

  • @petju7
    @petju7 4 роки тому +20

    Awesome story! I've never met my soulmate--not sure one exists, but it's nice to hear stories like this.

    • @JJ91666
      @JJ91666 Рік тому +2

      Me too same I haven’t met mine either.

  • @starlightwhispers6781
    @starlightwhispers6781 2 роки тому +1

    It's the person you are when you're around them- if they bring out the best in you; you've found them.

  • @cindigirouard9620
    @cindigirouard9620 4 роки тому +2

    Wow, totally not what I expected, but what a beautiful story. Unconditional love!

  • @VChukwu
    @VChukwu 6 років тому +3

    Wow! I didn't expect this talk at all. Thanks for sharing.

    • @samantha4130
      @samantha4130 5 років тому

      Vanessa Chukwu I didn’t expect to find out that ‘she’ is now a trans man.