Why is it people, particularly women think that just because a lot of time has passed, their past sins don't matter? My exwife called me one night, years after we split, to confess a bunch of betrayals she did while we were married. I was pissed and asked why she decided to tell me all of it now. She said she'd been drinking and wanted "closure". I told her, "I knew you were a tramp when I divorced you, I wouldn't f*** you with Charlie Sheen's d***, so you can closure legs now; I'm done with you"...and hung up.
My Ex called me once while I was Drinking I proceeded to tell her wats up to come over and visit me. She said she couldn’t until the following weekend so I gave her directions. The following Friday I got a call from Her asking how to get to my place from the fwy. I bursted out laughing “ oh Isht you came? Hey Brother Patricia thought I wanted to see her and she came”! Me and my Brother had a great laugh at her expense… She replied “Eff You ***@@$/)):739&;$**^#€£”!
Especialy women would argue completely differently if OP would be the wife and her husband would have confessed the cheating. It has something to do with the totaly wired idea that women are their own victims and should not hold accountable in a way men would. Women are "allowed" to be weak and thats why you should forgive them.
Funny how that works, huh? All the things they're willing to do AFTER cheating, as if someone is supposed to believe them after they've already proven they can't honor vows.
If you cheat, you know it was wrong, you know it will never happen again, then keep your mouth shut about it!!!!! She never cheated again and everything was fine with their marriage and then everything was ruined when she confessed thinking he wouldn't think it was a big deal because it was a long time ago.
@@blairmcbride5437 Problem is he is probably running out of source material...unless he goes and posts fictional stories it's going to take time to post new stuff...also I don't want him to post fictional stuff
She's clearly seeing a counselor who's telling her its not her fault and she's not responsible for her own choices. Most counselors do this: they side with and excuse the woman and gaslight the man.
Man there's a Reddit post about this weeks ago. Dude and his girl was going to a therapist for months and the whole the therapist was taking the GF side and come to find out it was her friend pretending to be a therapist and basically gaslighting him to make him the perfect boyfriend.
Bingo. Not only is that therapist not helping her, she's making it worse. Also, OP is incorrect on several things. * He should tell his daughters as they should think less of their mother. They should be second guessing her advice, realizing the seriousness of cheating, and not blindsided by a divorce to only find out that you knew. He should also tell the immediate family. * He should get a written and notarized confession, take steps to separate finances, see aside college funds, etc. He should also see a lawyer and find out his position for divorce now, in three years (youngest is out of the house), and ten. If he wants to stay with her, it shouldn't be due to financial blackmail. He should also consider a post-nup, reducing work hours, etc. to see how sorry his wife is. My guess, her current concern is also financially based.
I remembered Italian man broke record for divorce his exwife at age of 99. She cheated on him and kept her love letters from AP in 1940s. He rather divorce her than staying with cheater until death.
Even single people are moving targets now that lots of men do not date anymore! Men do not go to Home Depot or any other building supply place. Before you know it your going to have women following you home and demanding you help them paint their apartments . Blaaaaa.
There's nothing more nauseating than a weak man that forgives a cheating wife. Their marriage has been burned to the ground. He doesn't love her and doesn't trust her. The only reason he's staying, is he's scared to lose half his stuff, and doesn't want to end up alone. That's why all these beta men stay after getting cheated on. It's pathetic.
Dont think that women who cheat do not read these posts! They will do anything and everything to hide it. Dont get married that is your only protection. Do not live together!
It puzzles me how hard it is for married women to keep their legs closed. A compliment here, a smile there and “it was a mistake, i love you more than anything!”
I said it before, Find Your Alpha, since he releases around one video a week, should release his new videos on Fridays; like a weekly episode. It's good to see he posted a new one today.
Yeah, he talks a big game but that's all. I laughed when he said she must of realise weak men aren't good marriage material when she's married to a weak man. He lacks self awareness.
These men don't understand women. They don't understand thst if a woman cheats on you she no longer has any carnal desire for you. You are no longer the man of her life or the man that is her alpha. He is. He is the man who she has burning desire for, not you. She will be thinking about him when she is with you. She is emotionally invested in him. She will grow feelings for him, not you. She will be bonded to him, not you.
But most of these women go out and cheat on effeminate looking pretty boys lol so are the AP’s really Alpha Male’s? Or they go out and cheat with a “bad boy” but this bad boy is actually pussified. All bark no bite.
Listen to what the guy said. "I don't want my daughters to know and think less of me for staying." Which means HE THINKS less of himself for staying, and that others would as well. So he's hiding/harboring feelings of being weak, less than, emasculated etc. Why do this to yourself cuz of $$ or not wanting to be alone? I'd rather have my self respect and be alone and/or have less $$
I find the OP weak, because he says he doesn't want to be a bachelor. That means he's afraid of being alone. Men that have to have a women at their sides at all times are weak willed. I've known many men like this guy and they'd rather be in a miserable relationship than be on their own. Just boggles the mind.
I understand the husband's perspective; he doesn't want to lose half of his assets. While I'm unsure if I would choose to stay with her, I know that my feelings for her would no longer be the same. This situation is a wife-created issue. I may wait until the younger daughter completes high school or college. I am leaving her at some point. These are my thoughts, and I know my personality well. If she chooses to go, that would be okay with me. People would say it happened long ago, but that would not make a difference to me.
Cheaters don't understand that infidelity is like homicide: there is no statute of limitations. It doesn't matter if the offense happened 4 days or 40 years ago, once caught the offender is still subject to the same level of punishment.
I love how the OP's wife sets up her confession by bringing up the neighbor's story and how it worked out for them, thinking she'd get the same results. HILARIOUS! 😂
Been with my wife for 30 years (I am 50) and if my wife and I got divorced..I would never remarry again or even date again. I am just not attracted to old people.
24:16 after finishing this story, I think OP is pathetic. He is scared of the unknown future and to fight for his freedom, so he deserves to suffer in silence until he decides to stand for what he believes in. To me, it seems like he simply inside a cage with the door open, and is making excuses not to leave.
She didn't just cheat on him. She cheated on her new baby girl as well. To me, when young children are in the picture, the offense is 1,000 times worse. She belongs to the streets.
I always say what good is counseling after the fuck up ??? Then a counselor trying to make the cheater feel justified and OP part responsible for it. Total bs. Smh.
Counseling is usually the cheating woman's idea, rarely the man's idea. So the woman will shop around until she finds the right counselor - meaning a counselor sympathetic to the woman's side of the story. About 80% of psychologists and counselors are women, so not hard to find one that will blame the man for causing the affair. And these counselors all have bills and rent to pay, so they have all the incentive to cozy up to the woman so they keep getting paid.
The "never intended for it to get out of hand or go so far" is such a garbage excuse. You are an adult, mature human being. You are able to make choices and be accountable for those choices. The evident fact is cheaters cheat with baby steps that all too soon become a full-out sprint. Or worse, a marathon. Events just don't happen. You make choices to be in that moment, to give another person time, to say yes...or NOT say no. Then, do it again. And again. And the guilt never quite gets loud enough to be heard...until it's much too late to repair. Idiots, the lot of them.
Excellently stated. And alcohol, commonly blamed, is also never an excuse. People have options, and they make conscious choices, even if it's a choice to not be so conscious.
Really should put some kind of title to tell us if this is a simp story or strong individual with self respect. Losing faith in my fellow men who are to weak to leave because of ( insert excuse).
Yeah I was hoping he pulled the Band-Aid and used the opportunity to teach his daughters they should respect the men in their lives and that decisions have consequences, no matter how long time has passed. He is putting his head in the sand for comfortability, selling out his self-respect for a warm bed.
if you really listen to the text you'll know he might waste some time but definatly will cut her loose. none of them will enjoy the time they have together now.
@@orbitalsummer he's a older gentleman and hasn't told anyone about it to protect her image and is still having sex with her . Oh and he agreed to do therapy and you think he's gonna leave her with time ?
@@juniormon7514Nope, he’ll stay with her forever, she’ll keep playing on the side, then,when she decides to do so she’ll blow up his world and destroy him (again…) emotionally and financially in a divorce. And he’ll be back whining about everything. Too bad dude, no sympathy; you found out and you didn’t leave. Suck it up…
Oh bro c'mon. He's staying for the kids!! Give the guy a break!! He's teaching his girls how to live in a loveless, cold, animosity filled relationship lacking affection and trust!! And also showing them that they can cheat on their husbands someday and expect them to stay no matter what they do. He's doing God's work!!
MILLIONS of marriages would be over if all men knew everything about their partners, no question. thankfully for women, men outright refuse to see any red flags in their partners....
So many people recommend counseling, but almost all of these counseling sessions are GEARED TOWARDS WOMEN, and I wouldn't recommend marriage/couples counseling.
About 80% of the counseling profession is female. And the wife is the one who usually suggests going to counseling rather than the husband, so the wife will shop around until she finds a female counselor that seems most sympathetic to her side of the story. The counselor doesn't earn money without clients, so they will try to keep the couple coming back over and over again to insure their stream of income. The counselor knows if they alienate the wife by not siding with her against the husband, or pointing out accountability on the wife's part, the wife will get mad and go hire someone else.
Unfortunately I've come to the realisation that just about any woman is capable of cheating given the right (or wrong) circumstances. She's feeling bored, some guy shows attention and gives validation, opportunity knocks, a better prospect arrives on the scene, she estimates the chances of getting caught are remote, seeing if she's 'still got it'...
💯 if anything he's lucky both kids are old enough to understand and letting then know immediately would prevent the wife from trying to turn them against him. Now he'd be free to do whatever he wants.
He just entertains himself as if he is the one who controls his wife. This husband is a victim who is trapped in a predator's trap, he will not be able to leave his predator even though he pretends to be a firm and strong man or an alpha man.
I disagree with the last point on the moral of the story. Forgiveness is not really the issue in betrayal, trust is really the issue. Forgiveness is for the one offended, by forgiving, it takes the burden of the betrayed so that they can move on in life. But when you loose trust, it cannot and it will not ever be fully restored in a relationship.
Marriage law is so skewed and biased towards the women. I could kinda understand how that guy feel, like he must've accrued quite some assets from all these years and watching half of it plus some more if the judges ruled that he must've paid alimony or child support would be really heartbreaking. So now he just try to compensate by making his wife's life as hellish as possible and frankly that's toxic as hell.
9:11 taking back a cheater is everything but not strong. 15:10 ofc he was ashamed to telling us that he stayed 🤣 22:00 he makes fun of leftists but took back a cheater 😂
Yeah I was thinking the same thing. How the hell can you call yourself a conservative but willingly stay with a woman that cheats on you? Does not compute.
NEVER i mean never take a cheater back after they show you what and who they really are and what they really think of you. No excuses for cheating none talk or walk. 3 times 20 times no difference. You really think she didn't tell the other women?
Is clear he isn't happy, doesn't love her anymore, never will love her again, would have divorced her 18 years ago if he learnt the truth at the time. He should just divorce her at this point because his resentment for her will grow rather than heal
For every guy who discovers this, there are many, many others that never do, and the wife or ex-wife take it to the grave. Sooner or later, your wife is going to run into this kind of charismatic and charming sleaze bag who knows how to push buttons.
I tried working it out. But it did not work. I only could see her as three or four. And I just did not want her touching me, nor did I ever want to touch her again. The sound of her voice, and just a thought of her, just made me so angry, that I cannot be anywhere around her. This group, and kept on growing as time progressed. When I finally left is when the piece started coming back to me.
That wasn't her first time cheating she cheated with multiple men while she was married to you she gave them more in the bedroom than she ever gave you 😮
Here's a possible contract set of conditions for not divorcing a cheating spouse who says she will do ANYTHING to atone: In Perpetuity 1) Never speak unless asked to. In fact, keep your mouth shut generally; 2) Never question or comment on ANYTHING I say or do; 3) INSTANTLY obey or comply with any command or request I give you. 4) Keep the house spotless at all times. No dirty dishes in the sink, stay on top of all laundry, dutifully take out the garbage, etc. etc.. 5) Never disturb/interrupt me when I'm doing something. 6) Keep yourself attractive and presentable at all times (no gaining weight, etc.) I will weigh you in the mornings when I feel the need. 7) Be at my beck and call at all times. 8) NEVER complain or be disagreeable. 9) If the phone rings and it's for me, say "Bwana he no home." 10) RELIGOUSLY keep all these conditions at all times WITH A SMILE, and be grateful for it.
Great example Op is setting for his one kid still in the house on what a loveless, passionless, & no respectful marriage looks like. So you saved some coin, but taught her most men will stay in this kind of marriage to avoid the nuisance of divorce.
Marriage counseling is useless to men. Why pay for an overtly biased, failed therapist that will just dump all the blame on you and exempt all responsibility of actions and consequences from the cheater?
The OP should have done his homework and reached out to the AP. He also should have done more digging. They never cheat with just 1 partner. The OP is clearly displaying weakness, and acting more like a vindictive woman.
This marriage will end. She may go along with this for a period but soon or later the counselor will have her believe it's all his fault and then it will blow up.
She found solace and validation in another man? This relationship was a sham for almost 18 years. He should've left or thrown her out and told the kids at least.
Strong willed men would leave her. Staying with her doesn't make you strong willed, it's quite the opposite. You're so weak that you can't imagine life without a woman who betrayed you and kept it from you *_for 18 years._* What kind of sociopath does that? She slept with OP multiple times, got knocked up again, and through all of that, you didn't hear a peep from her about how untrustworthy she actually was. And OP wasn't paying attention to red flags, he was blissfully unaware, thinking he had married a woman who was worth a quarter. Female responses are the typical BS they always spout. They always act like men cheating and women cheating are equivalent. OP's wife INVESTED IN HER AP. They were making out (and smashing, don't believe her BS) for WEEKS. That is far different than a dude smashing some strange and forgetting about her when post-nut clarity kicked in. I can understand this guy's reasons for staying though I don't agree with them. He's leaving himself open to possible marital SA allegations, if she decides to go scorched earth. I can also understand losing all love for someone when you find out they've betrayed you.
I'm the same age as the OP, and I can understand his point. I have been married to my Bride for 22 years and we have built a life together, 2 kids and a grandchild. If I ever found out she cheated on me, I would have the same feelings as OP. No "love, trust and romance". Our relationship would change from "loving" to "buisness".
Sunk cost. He doesn't want the hassle of everyone trying to tell him to forgive her and the financial stress. He'll be miserable for the rest of his life.
1. This is going to continue to eat away at him. Doesn't sound like he's happy now and I doubt it will get better. 2. Someday the truth will come out and all his efforts to keep it under wraps will go up in flames...and then he's REALLY gonna be angry. I'm reminded of stories where the BS negotiated a great separation agreement or post nup in exchange for agreeing to stay and "try to work it out" for a period of time. I think if he'd have protected his assets that way, he'd be able to eventually walk away and move one with his life. Now I worry that he never will.
What's to discuss? They've been married for 18+ years, and she hid this from him for the majority of that time? That screams manipulative scumbag to me. There's no way there weren't Red Flags indicating her character, when she was cheating, and how the relationship changed since her affair. No man with a shred of dignity and self-respect would stay in this situation, but to each his own. *Gentlemen, read this carefully:* There are *ALWAYS* Red Flags. Just because you thought or didn't notice there were any Red Flags during or after a relationship doesn't mean they weren't there. Believe me boys; *THEY ARE THERE.* You may not be as adept as other guys at spotting them, but they are there. Also, don't believe this crap about women being so incredible at covering their tracks when engaging in sketchy behavior. A lot of these women follow the same patterns, engage in the same activities, and have the same types of "girlfriends". In most cases, many of us are too clueless to pick up on the signs, tip our hands too soon (allowing her to change/cover her tracks better) or aren't sure what to do when they pick up on signs of her sketchiness. With that said, there are (3) three main reasons a guy misses Red Flags: 1) He doesn't know what behavior would indicate a Red Flag. 2) He isn't paying attention, paying close enough attention or he's too busy/distracted to notice changes in her behavior indicating a problem(s). Constant trips for work, attitudes about sex and dating, careers known for infidelity, long work hours, suddenly discussing a particular male co-worker, increasingly hanging out with some new friend, etc. 3) He writes it off as nothing or attributes any changes in her behavior to internal/external factors affecting her and not as a sign of her sketchiness. In other words, the poor SOB creates his own explanation(s) to dismiss her behavior. This one is the worst because his "gut" is screaming that there's a problem; but he manages to ignore that little "Spidey-Sense" long enough to come up with his own excuses to make it go away. Looking back, I bet the guy in this story noticed quite a few of the Red Flags he overlooked or excused before. They say hindsight is 20/20.
Eeew man, divorce. You’re also deceiving your children, you also owe it to them to leave cuz it’s not fair to your kids the way things are going. End it.
Dude can move his daughter into private school and fund educational savings accounts and other accounts in his kids name to draw down the estate. If they go to expensive enough colleges he can draw down the estate enough over the next 4 years. Then take a lesser paying job and encourage the wife to find a better one. In 4-6 years divorce wouldn't be so bad.
He just don't want to lose more than half of his everything. Money is the only thing that made him back off. Now probably he is gonna get even with her by having affairs.
Walk away man she already told the other women. Me man i couldn't stay after all them years she showed you what and who she really is. There's no excuses cheating is a choice decision willingly made and acted upon.she only had a child she's Disgusting.
Anyone who drinks to the point of getting drunk wasn't marriage material in the first place. Unless she changed, that should have been a huge red flag.
Some people are beating up on OP for keeping his wife around instead of ripping the bandaid off. Burning everything down and salting the fields. That is the standard response and it probably works well for most. In this instance OP simply no longer thinks enough of his wife to uproot his whole life. She has been demoted from wife/partner/lover to mere bangmaid. Not even an FWB because she is not even a friend. She simply isn't worth the bother. Not worth the drama. Not worth the wealth he would lose. Not worth paying for the lawyers ski vacation or trip to the Bahamas. Not worth the scandal. Not worth the pity and the gossip that he would be the subject of. Not worth going out and sorting through the reject bin to find and undamaged and trustworthy woman in his age bracket. They're not worth the bother either. That is some military grade indifference. I would argue though that what he is doing can not really be regarded as "staying in the marriage". It is more like some kind of cold, emotionless situationship. It does not sound like OP is happy but it does sound like he has chosen a level of misery that balances his priorities. This will end when he or she has had enough.
She was looking to see if there was better AFTER the marriage. It's so obvious as day and the other guy didn't bite the whole meal and she figured since she already had a kid, she'd cut her losses and stay with him. That's not flattery, that's evil!
Couple take aways: I do not believe she only cheated a few times then stayed there around AP almost two more years and did not do more. This guy is hurting and needs a break and personal space. He may forgive more later.
Why is it people, particularly women think that just because a lot of time has passed, their past sins don't matter? My exwife called me one night, years after we split, to confess a bunch of betrayals she did while we were married. I was pissed and asked why she decided to tell me all of it now. She said she'd been drinking and wanted "closure". I told her, "I knew you were a tramp when I divorced you, I wouldn't f*** you with Charlie Sheen's d***, so you can closure legs now; I'm done with you"...and hung up.
The can detect weakness from miles away
My Ex called me once while I was Drinking I proceeded to tell her wats up to come over and visit me. She said she couldn’t until the following weekend so I gave her directions. The following Friday I got a call from Her asking how to get to my place from the fwy. I bursted out laughing “ oh Isht you came? Hey Brother Patricia thought I wanted to see her and she came”! Me and my Brother had a great laugh at her expense… She replied “Eff You ***@@$/)):739&;$**^#€£”!
Especialy women would argue completely differently if OP would be the wife and her husband would have confessed the cheating. It has something to do with the totaly wired idea that women are their own victims and should not hold accountable in a way men would. Women are "allowed" to be weak and thats why you should forgive them.
Because it was long ago for them, but for the Betrayed, it just happened.
Closure? Its guilt,she knows she destroyed her marriage. Every man now uses her accordingly to what she really is. Karma 😎👍
How thoughtful of her to be willing to do anything to save the marriage AFTER she cheated.
Of course because She can lose an ATM and the goverment would have to pay her otherwise
Funny how that works, huh? All the things they're willing to do AFTER cheating, as if someone is supposed to believe them after they've already proven they can't honor vows.
@@Remianen Cheat now., ask for forgiveness later, and pray that he will stay
It's a payment that's worth it to them.
If you cheat, you know it was wrong, you know it will never happen again, then keep your mouth shut about it!!!!!
She never cheated again and everything was fine with their marriage and then everything was ruined when she confessed thinking he wouldn't think it was a big deal because it was a long time ago.
You’re one of the only UA-camrs I wished posted more often
I know, he only averages once every 3 weeks or so. I get excited when I see he’s posted.
@@TheBerkeleyBeautyhe use to post weekly unfortunately its far less regularly now.
Yep
Part of why is special , right ?
@@blairmcbride5437 Problem is he is probably running out of source material...unless he goes and posts fictional stories it's going to take time to post new stuff...also I don't want him to post fictional stuff
She's clearly seeing a counselor who's telling her its not her fault and she's not responsible for her own choices. Most counselors do this: they side with and excuse the woman and gaslight the man.
Man there's a Reddit post about this weeks ago. Dude and his girl was going to a therapist for months and the whole the therapist was taking the GF side and come to find out it was her friend pretending to be a therapist and basically gaslighting him to make him the perfect boyfriend.
Bingo. Not only is that therapist not helping her, she's making it worse. Also, OP is incorrect on several things.
* He should tell his daughters as they should think less of their mother. They should be second guessing her advice, realizing the seriousness of cheating, and not blindsided by a divorce to only find out that you knew. He should also tell the immediate family.
* He should get a written and notarized confession, take steps to separate finances, see aside college funds, etc. He should also see a lawyer and find out his position for divorce now, in three years (youngest is out of the house), and ten. If he wants to stay with her, it shouldn't be due to financial blackmail. He should also consider a post-nup, reducing work hours, etc. to see how sorry his wife is. My guess, her current concern is also financially based.
I remembered Italian man broke record for divorce his exwife at age of 99. She cheated on him and kept her love letters from AP in 1940s. He rather divorce her than staying with cheater until death.
Yeah, she tried to pull a Rose for her Jack and wasted the man's time.
The more I hear these stories, the more I'm happy staying single. He's a champion ostrich👎
Even single people are moving targets now that lots of men do not date anymore! Men do not go to Home Depot or any other building supply place. Before you know it your going to have women following you home and demanding you help them paint their apartments . Blaaaaa.
It's okay to stay single if you feel good about it, it can also BCS you have not the energy and strength to engage in building something right now
You can't save something that has already been destroyed. Exit immediately and never look back. The best revenge is living well.
There's nothing more nauseating than a weak man that forgives a cheating wife.
Their marriage has been burned to the ground. He doesn't love her and doesn't trust her.
The only reason he's staying, is he's scared to lose half his stuff, and doesn't want to end up alone. That's why all these beta men stay after getting cheated on. It's pathetic.
I don't care if it has been 10,000 years since my wife cheated. It is over the moment I find out
Its not years ago for him its right now. The pain, shock. Loss of trust, broken heart, disgust, mind fck and shattered love.
That's a long time ago. But the bitterness is brand new😂😅
Yep, no excuses. It is over. I couldn't even look at her without being discussed.
Dont think that women who cheat do not read these posts! They will do anything and everything to hide it. Dont get married that is your only protection. Do not live together!
It puzzles me how hard it is for married women to keep their legs closed. A compliment here, a smile there and “it was a mistake, i love you more than anything!”
They do not know what love is! Half the world population is women. Move forward never look back!
The time for counseling was for her before she cheated on her husband. What is there to counsel now?
Any man that stays with a cheater is not "strong willed".
what a simp, no respect for this guy
@@harls7317 he's worried about his money. Nothing stopping him from cheating.
It's the crying that gets me. You cheat on me then you have the gall to cry like you're the victim. That shit would just piss me off.
Criminals and children are what they are when they get caught
Don't tell other men, including relatives, that you're staying with a cheating wife. They'll lose all respect in you.
It's always a coworker, guys. Always a co worker or supervisor. All these women have a work husband.
There's always some POS at the office trying to get in
9:07 those aren't strong-willed men. Those are weak willed who continued on
Just like the guy in the story.
I said it before, Find Your Alpha, since he releases around one video a week, should release his new videos on Fridays; like a weekly episode. It's good to see he posted a new one today.
you dont need to be a professional licensed service provider to know that kicking a cheating ho to the curb is what a MAN does. grow a spine!
What a Simp. He didn't even have the decency to inform the AP's wife.
The a p wasn't married but a simp he definitely is. He just named a lot of b s reasons to stay.
There’s nothing I hate more than a doormat who pretends to have a backbone. OP is weak.
Yeah, he talks a big game but that's all. I laughed when he said she must of realise weak men aren't good marriage material when she's married to a weak man. He lacks self awareness.
These men don't understand women. They don't understand thst if a woman cheats on you she no longer has any carnal desire for you. You are no longer the man of her life or the man that is her alpha. He is. He is the man who she has burning desire for, not you. She will be thinking about him when she is with you. She is emotionally invested in him. She will grow feelings for him, not you. She will be bonded to him, not you.
💯 and taking her back only proves to her that she was right that you're not a real man
But most of these women go out and cheat on effeminate looking pretty boys lol so are the AP’s really Alpha Male’s? Or they go out and cheat with a “bad boy” but this bad boy is actually pussified. All bark no bite.
you can not shake the 304 tree and expect a wife to fall out.
Huge mistake not letting others know about the betrayal, as his wife will spin it and lie and make it his fault if he ever leaves
Listen to what the guy said. "I don't want my daughters to know and think less of me for staying." Which means HE THINKS less of himself for staying, and that others would as well. So he's hiding/harboring feelings of being weak, less than, emasculated etc. Why do this to yourself cuz of $$ or not wanting to be alone? I'd rather have my self respect and be alone and/or have less $$
No trust no love for his wife? Sounds like a great marriage
I find the OP weak, because he says he doesn't want to be a bachelor. That means he's afraid of being alone. Men that have to have a women at their sides at all times are weak willed. I've known many men like this guy and they'd rather be in a miserable relationship than be on their own. Just boggles the mind.
I totally agree with you.
I understand the husband's perspective; he doesn't want to lose half of his assets. While I'm unsure if I would choose to stay with her, I know that my feelings for her would no longer be the same. This situation is a wife-created issue. I may wait until the younger daughter completes high school or college. I am leaving her at some point. These are my thoughts, and I know my personality well. If she chooses to go, that would be okay with me. People would say it happened long ago, but that would not make a difference to me.
@@12Tbeeror48 yeah. He's just there.
Yeah, he does have a lot to lose. That is why he had to weigh the pros and cons of it all.
Cheaters don't understand that infidelity is like homicide: there is no statute of limitations. It doesn't matter if the offense happened 4 days or 40 years ago, once caught the offender is still subject to the same level of punishment.
It IS like homicide because they KILLED the marriage and all the husband's feelings of love DIED.
I love how the OP's wife sets up her confession by bringing up the neighbor's story and how it worked out for them, thinking she'd get the same results. HILARIOUS! 😂
DNA on second daughter.
Mr. SIMPson stayed and gets exactly what he deserves. She is trash and he is weak. Smh.
OP is acting like a brat throwing a tantrum. He's willing to yell, lash out, and disrespect his wife, but is unwilling to actually divorce the 304.
I wouldn't be able to respect a man if I found out he forgave his cheating wife.
He's only 47.He should have got a divorce, found someone else.He'd be more happy
Been with my wife for 30 years (I am 50) and if my wife and I got divorced..I would never remarry again or even date again. I am just not attracted to old people.
She doesn't regret cheating but you can bet she regrets telling him.
24:16 after finishing this story, I think OP is pathetic. He is scared of the unknown future and to fight for his freedom, so he deserves to suffer in silence until he decides to stand for what he believes in. To me, it seems like he simply inside a cage with the door open, and is making excuses not to leave.
She didn't just cheat on him. She cheated on her new baby girl as well. To me, when young children are in the picture, the offense is 1,000 times worse. She belongs to the streets.
For her, it was 18 years ago. For him, it was that day.
Going to marriage counseling after infidelity it's like performing CPR on roadkill.
Messy and ultimately pointless.
Love this channel, thank you Find Your Alpha keep up the good work.👌
I always say what good is counseling after the fuck up ??? Then a counselor trying to make the cheater feel justified and OP part responsible for it. Total bs. Smh.
Counseling is usually the cheating woman's idea, rarely the man's idea. So the woman will shop around until she finds the right counselor - meaning a counselor sympathetic to the woman's side of the story. About 80% of psychologists and counselors are women, so not hard to find one that will blame the man for causing the affair. And these counselors all have bills and rent to pay, so they have all the incentive to cozy up to the woman so they keep getting paid.
The "never intended for it to get out of hand or go so far" is such a garbage excuse. You are an adult, mature human being. You are able to make choices and be accountable for those choices. The evident fact is cheaters cheat with baby steps that all too soon become a full-out sprint. Or worse, a marathon. Events just don't happen. You make choices to be in that moment, to give another person time, to say yes...or NOT say no. Then, do it again. And again. And the guilt never quite gets loud enough to be heard...until it's much too late to repair. Idiots, the lot of them.
Excellently stated. And alcohol, commonly blamed, is also never an excuse. People have options, and they make conscious choices, even if it's a choice to not be so conscious.
@WereMike thats double speak for, "I never intended to get caught or face consequences".
@@humansvd3269 💯
Really should put some kind of title to tell us if this is a simp story or strong individual with self respect. Losing faith in my fellow men who are to weak to leave because of ( insert excuse).
Yeah I was hoping he pulled the Band-Aid and used the opportunity to teach his daughters they should respect the men in their lives and that decisions have consequences, no matter how long time has passed.
He is putting his head in the sand for comfortability, selling out his self-respect for a warm bed.
if you really listen to the text you'll know he might waste some time but definatly will cut her loose. none of them will enjoy the time they have together now.
@@orbitalsummer he's a older gentleman and hasn't told anyone about it to protect her image and is still having sex with her . Oh and he agreed to do therapy and you think he's gonna leave her with time ?
@@juniormon7514Nope, he’ll stay with her forever, she’ll keep playing on the side, then,when she decides to do so she’ll blow up his world and destroy him (again…) emotionally and financially in a divorce. And he’ll be back whining about everything. Too bad dude, no sympathy; you found out and you didn’t leave. Suck it up…
Oh bro c'mon. He's staying for the kids!! Give the guy a break!! He's teaching his girls how to live in a loveless, cold, animosity filled relationship lacking affection and trust!! And also showing them that they can cheat on their husbands someday and expect them to stay no matter what they do. He's doing God's work!!
A Simp was infected by the current Simpademic. And fully enbraced the Beta life.
Doormat Husband
MILLIONS of marriages would be over if all men knew everything about their partners, no question. thankfully for women, men outright refuse to see any red flags in their partners....
Society keeps men in line.
True. Most men who get cheated on never find out.
So many people recommend counseling, but almost all of these counseling sessions are GEARED TOWARDS WOMEN, and I wouldn't recommend marriage/couples counseling.
About 80% of the counseling profession is female. And the wife is the one who usually suggests going to counseling rather than the husband, so the wife will shop around until she finds a female counselor that seems most sympathetic to her side of the story. The counselor doesn't earn money without clients, so they will try to keep the couple coming back over and over again to insure their stream of income. The counselor knows if they alienate the wife by not siding with her against the husband, or pointing out accountability on the wife's part, the wife will get mad and go hire someone else.
Unfortunately I've come to the realisation that just about any woman is capable of cheating given the right (or wrong) circumstances. She's feeling bored, some guy shows attention and gives validation, opportunity knocks, a better prospect arrives on the scene, she estimates the chances of getting caught are remote, seeing if she's 'still got it'...
He should have just ended the marriage. He is not even 50. He can start again.
💯 if anything he's lucky both kids are old enough to understand and letting then know immediately would prevent the wife from trying to turn them against him. Now he'd be free to do whatever he wants.
He just entertains himself as if he is the one who controls his wife. This husband is a victim who is trapped in a predator's trap, he will not be able to leave his predator even though he pretends to be a firm and strong man or an alpha man.
I disagree with the last point on the moral of the story. Forgiveness is not really the issue in betrayal, trust is really the issue. Forgiveness is for the one offended, by forgiving, it takes the burden of the betrayed so that they can move on in life. But when you loose trust, it cannot and it will not ever be fully restored in a relationship.
He thinks accepting a multiple cheat, that will cheat again is `strong-willed?`. errr, nope.
He better dna check his older daughter. Guarantee she’s kept up with him
I couldn’t stay because I would never be able to get the image out of my mind.
Good story , I look forward to hearing the next one 😊
Marriage law is so skewed and biased towards the women.
I could kinda understand how that guy feel, like he must've accrued quite some assets from all these years and watching half of it plus some more if the judges ruled that he must've paid alimony or child support would be really heartbreaking.
So now he just try to compensate by making his wife's life as hellish as possible and frankly that's toxic as hell.
He talks about weak men but he is a weak man for staying with a 304.
9:11 taking back a cheater is everything but not strong. 15:10 ofc he was ashamed to telling us that he stayed 🤣 22:00 he makes fun of leftists but took back a cheater 😂
Yeah I was thinking the same thing. How the hell can you call yourself a conservative but willingly stay with a woman that cheats on you? Does not compute.
Simp is going to get Pikachu face when she files for divorce, accusing him of physical and emotional abuse.
The marriage is over. Trust is broken and so is the marriage
When the youngest child heads off to college, he’ll leave right behind her.
No he won't, he said he doesn't want to be a bachelor. He's afraid of being alone.
NEVER i mean never take a cheater back after they show you what and who they really are and what they really think of you. No excuses for cheating none talk or walk. 3 times 20 times no difference. You really think she didn't tell the other women?
Bro is a beta trying to act like aplha
Is clear he isn't happy, doesn't love her anymore, never will love her again, would have divorced her 18 years ago if he learnt the truth at the time. He should just divorce her at this point because his resentment for her will grow rather than heal
For every guy who discovers this, there are many, many others that never do, and the wife or ex-wife take it to the grave. Sooner or later, your wife is going to run into this kind of charismatic and charming sleaze bag who knows how to push buttons.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
In vino veritas
I tried working it out. But it did not work. I only could see her as three or four. And I just did not want her touching me, nor did I ever want to touch her again. The sound of her voice, and just a thought of her, just made me so angry, that I cannot be anywhere around her. This group, and kept on growing as time progressed. When I finally left is when the piece started coming back to me.
Women deep down like it when her husband has options but doesn't pursue those options. That's why women are more willing to forgive unfaithfulness
Trust is a prerequisite for love. If you don't trust someone, you don't love them anymore. Trust after cheating never recovers. It's best to leave.
That wasn't her first time cheating she cheated with multiple men while she was married to you she gave them more in the bedroom than she ever gave you 😮
Here's a possible contract set of conditions for not divorcing a cheating spouse who says she will do ANYTHING to atone: In Perpetuity 1) Never speak unless asked to. In fact, keep your mouth shut generally; 2) Never question or comment on ANYTHING I say or do; 3) INSTANTLY obey or comply with any command or request I give you. 4) Keep the house spotless at all times. No dirty dishes in the sink, stay on top of all laundry, dutifully take out the garbage, etc. etc.. 5) Never disturb/interrupt me when I'm doing something. 6) Keep yourself attractive and presentable at all times (no gaining weight, etc.) I will weigh you in the mornings when I feel the need. 7) Be at my beck and call at all times. 8) NEVER complain or be disagreeable. 9) If the phone rings and it's for me, say "Bwana he no home." 10) RELIGOUSLY keep all these conditions at all times WITH A SMILE, and be grateful for it.
Great example Op is setting for his one kid still in the house on what a loveless, passionless, & no respectful marriage looks like. So you saved some coin, but taught her most men will stay in this kind of marriage to avoid the nuisance of divorce.
Truer words were never spoken.
He is effing doormat in the end. If he doesn't divorce her this will taunt him till the end of his days
Marriage counseling is useless to men. Why pay for an overtly biased, failed therapist that will just dump all the blame on you and exempt all responsibility of actions and consequences from the cheater?
The OP should have done his homework and reached out to the AP. He also should have done more digging. They never cheat with just 1 partner. The OP is clearly displaying weakness, and acting more like a vindictive woman.
This marriage will end. She may go along with this for a period but soon or later the counselor will have her believe it's all his fault and then it will blow up.
She found solace and validation in another man? This relationship was a sham for almost 18 years. He should've left or thrown her out and told the kids at least.
Strong willed men would leave her. Staying with her doesn't make you strong willed, it's quite the opposite. You're so weak that you can't imagine life without a woman who betrayed you and kept it from you *_for 18 years._* What kind of sociopath does that? She slept with OP multiple times, got knocked up again, and through all of that, you didn't hear a peep from her about how untrustworthy she actually was. And OP wasn't paying attention to red flags, he was blissfully unaware, thinking he had married a woman who was worth a quarter. Female responses are the typical BS they always spout. They always act like men cheating and women cheating are equivalent. OP's wife INVESTED IN HER AP. They were making out (and smashing, don't believe her BS) for WEEKS. That is far different than a dude smashing some strange and forgetting about her when post-nut clarity kicked in. I can understand this guy's reasons for staying though I don't agree with them. He's leaving himself open to possible marital SA allegations, if she decides to go scorched earth. I can also understand losing all love for someone when you find out they've betrayed you.
I'm the same age as the OP, and I can understand his point. I have been married to my Bride for 22 years and we have built a life together, 2 kids and a grandchild.
If I ever found out she cheated on me, I would have the same feelings as OP. No "love, trust and romance". Our relationship would change from "loving" to "buisness".
Joe's a fool. In my late 40s-early 50s, I got hit in by women in their late 20s, not sure why OP doesn't want to be a bachelor.
Sunk cost. He doesn't want the hassle of everyone trying to tell him to forgive her and the financial stress. He'll be miserable for the rest of his life.
Wow, his feelings about his relationship are exactly as mine!!!
He's probably more selfish than she is.
1. This is going to continue to eat away at him. Doesn't sound like he's happy now and I doubt it will get better.
2. Someday the truth will come out and all his efforts to keep it under wraps will go up in flames...and then he's REALLY gonna be angry.
I'm reminded of stories where the BS negotiated a great separation agreement or post nup in exchange for agreeing to stay and "try to work it out" for a period of time. I think if he'd have protected his assets that way, he'd be able to eventually walk away and move one with his life. Now I worry that he never will.
What's to discuss? They've been married for 18+ years, and she hid this from him for the majority of that time? That screams manipulative scumbag to me. There's no way there weren't Red Flags indicating her character, when she was cheating, and how the relationship changed since her affair. No man with a shred of dignity and self-respect would stay in this situation, but to each his own.
*Gentlemen, read this carefully:* There are *ALWAYS* Red Flags.
Just because you thought or didn't notice there were any Red Flags during or after a relationship doesn't mean they weren't there. Believe me boys; *THEY ARE THERE.* You may not be as adept as other guys at spotting them, but they are there.
Also, don't believe this crap about women being so incredible at covering their tracks when engaging in sketchy behavior. A lot of these women follow the same patterns, engage in the same activities, and have the same types of "girlfriends". In most cases, many of us are too clueless to pick up on the signs, tip our hands too soon (allowing her to change/cover her tracks better) or aren't sure what to do when they pick up on signs of her sketchiness.
With that said, there are (3) three main reasons a guy misses Red Flags:
1) He doesn't know what behavior would indicate a Red Flag.
2) He isn't paying attention, paying close enough attention or he's too busy/distracted to notice changes in her behavior indicating a problem(s). Constant trips for work, attitudes about sex and dating, careers known for infidelity, long work hours, suddenly discussing a particular male co-worker, increasingly hanging out with some new friend, etc.
3) He writes it off as nothing or attributes any changes in her behavior to internal/external factors affecting her and not as a sign of her sketchiness. In other words, the poor SOB creates his own explanation(s) to dismiss her behavior. This one is the worst because his "gut" is screaming that there's a problem; but he manages to ignore that little "Spidey-Sense" long enough to come up with his own excuses to make it go away.
Looking back, I bet the guy in this story noticed quite a few of the Red Flags he overlooked or excused before. They say hindsight is 20/20.
Eeew man, divorce. You’re also deceiving your children, you also owe it to them to leave cuz it’s not fair to your kids the way things are going. End it.
Living a lie is no way to live. Just accept reality and move on to a genuine life.
This channel content is 🔥
Dude can move his daughter into private school and fund educational savings accounts and other accounts in his kids name to draw down the estate. If they go to expensive enough colleges he can draw down the estate enough over the next 4 years. Then take a lesser paying job and encourage the wife to find a better one. In 4-6 years divorce wouldn't be so bad.
I would have divorced. life is too short.
He just don't want to lose more than half of his everything.
Money is the only thing that made him back off.
Now probably he is gonna get even with her by having affairs.
Walk away man she already told the other women. Me man i couldn't stay after all them years she showed you what and who she really is. There's no excuses cheating is a choice decision willingly made and acted upon.she only had a child she's Disgusting.
Lol - it was the drink that did it.
Anyone who drinks to the point of getting drunk wasn't marriage material in the first place. Unless she changed, that should have been a huge red flag.
11:39 giving us a bad name. Not all of us are dicks. 😂
Just once, I'd like to hear: "We have two rather ordinary looking daughters." . . . "And a butt-ugly son."
Some people are beating up on OP for keeping his wife around instead of ripping the bandaid off.
Burning everything down and salting the fields. That is the standard response and it probably works well for most.
In this instance OP simply no longer thinks enough of his wife to uproot his whole life. She has been demoted from wife/partner/lover to mere bangmaid.
Not even an FWB because she is not even a friend. She simply isn't worth the bother. Not worth the drama. Not worth the wealth he would lose. Not worth paying for the lawyers ski vacation or trip to the Bahamas. Not worth the scandal. Not worth the pity and the gossip that he would be the subject of. Not worth going out and sorting through the reject bin to find and undamaged and trustworthy woman in his age bracket. They're not worth the bother either. That is some military grade indifference.
I would argue though that what he is doing can not really be regarded as "staying in the marriage". It is more like some kind of cold, emotionless situationship. It does not sound like OP is happy but it does sound like he has chosen a level of misery that balances his priorities. This will end when he or she has had enough.
She must have not thought the marriage good or worth it if she cheated
She was looking to see if there was better AFTER the marriage. It's so obvious as day and the other guy didn't bite the whole meal and she figured since she already had a kid, she'd cut her losses and stay with him. That's not flattery, that's evil!
Couple take aways: I do not believe she only cheated a few times then stayed there around AP almost two more years and did not do more. This guy is hurting and needs a break and personal space. He may forgive more later.
@@leegathers6845 site clearly didn't just stop out of guilty. Hell never know the full story.
He’s definitely going to regret it he is actually one of the weak guys he talked about,peace of mind is worth a lot to me I can’t live with an enemy.