So video got copyrighted as one of the songs is no longer copyright free. The original song is Biz - Labyrinth for anyone asking. Sorry :( If you enjoyed the video (or not), consider supporting the channel using these links ✔Help me reach 100K subs! (It's free): ua-cam.com/users/GuidenYT ✨Become a channel member for badges and emotes: ua-cam.com/users/GuidenYTjoin Check out my favorite E-girl's discord: discord.gg/rainy
How to play the Empire as a virgin: *Simps Rhagaea* How to play the Empire like a Chad: -Join the Northen Empire, and become senator -Prove yourself in battle as a skilled warrior and tactician, destroying the western empire. -Propose marriage to Ira -Make your own faction -Kill Lucon and the Northen Empire -Conquer all Imperial territory for your faction -Imprison Rhagaea for the crime of "using young men feeling as tools" -I am the basileus now!
So your Imperial name is Basil, and your family name is Basileus (meaning King/Emperor) and the Sigil is the Two headed eagle with the palaiologos crest, neat. Edit: the Sigil on this Eagle is Serbian.
To simp, or not to simp, that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous unsniffed socks, Or to take arms against a sea of shitposters And by opposing end them. To simp-to sleep, No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to: 'tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish'd. To simp, to sleep; To sleep, perchance to dream-ay, there's the rub: For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause-there's the respect That makes calamity of so long life. For who would bear the whips and scorns of Belle Delphine's pornhub account, Th'oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely, The pangs of dispriz'd love, the law's delay, The insolence of rejection, and the spurns That patient merit of th'unworthy takes, When he himself might his quietus make With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear, To grunt and sweat under a weary life, But that the dread of something after death, The undiscovere'd country, from whose bourn No traveller returns, puzzles the will, And makes us rather bear those ills we have Than fly to others that we know not of? Thus conscience does make simps of us all, And thus the native hue of resolution Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of financial ruin, And enterprises of great pitch and moment With this regard their currents turn awry And lose the name of action.
What's funny about the simping memes is that in the current climate Rhagaea is actually the best choice for becoming Empress simply because her succession method would mend what caused Rome to end up in the Crisis of the Third Century: a poor succession system with no rules.
Simps- thinks of marrying rahegea but ends up losing everything and then have to marry her daughter Me- kills rahegea and forces her daughter to Marry me
Garios is a warmongering lunatic, but he also gifts your fiefs like they grow on trees and will come like a heat seeking missile to aid you in sieges with his army of 1000 legionnaires.
-Joined Southern Empire to marry Rhagea. Got denied cause it's not an option. -Opted for her daughter. Got denied. -Tried to marry a random Noble women who is a supporter. Got denied. -Decided not going to simp, joined the Western Empire, married Nadea and will conquer all.
Top kek. I feel you should have shown more of the progression as you've done previously rather than just 20 seconds of it but otherwise it was wonderful.
Usually, I merc around for a while before I try to pick up a wife, usually the Western Empire, because they usually fight Battania (They lose Lageta like Swadians lose Dhiririm) Battanians have amazingly bad AI tactics and you can stomp on them pretty hard using tier 2-3 units if you use the right formations. And after a few big losses, most will putz around with recruit armies. Just stay away from Falxmen Jesus christ. Let every single noble you capture go, I mean like, every single one. It will raise your Charm up to 100 really quickly. Get the right perks, and you can convince someone to marry you with 100% speech checks, no gifts or anything required. Pluss people in Battania (and any mercenary clans hired by them) will love the shit out of you for all the nobles you let go. Well, the ones that didn't die anyway.
1:18 "Perfection." literally what i thought lmfao. keep it up palouka, love all the references from games of my childhood, even fucking runescape and rome 1 total war lol
You character looks like such a cunning schemer, yet a great warrior all in one. It's like someone combined Littlefinger from GOT with Aragorn from LOTR or something.
@@irishredenjoyer what do you think someone with ASMR in their name might do, Jimbo? Care to take a guess? I'm sure you can figure it out, try sounding it out.
As an orthodox Christian hearing our chants trap remixed hurts me both physically and spiritually....of all the things to do that too. Still funny tho.
Oh my mount and blade really change I remember playing Warband with mods in pc I wish they release a PS4 version of this with mod support like fallout 4! My pc is not opening BTW
My playthrough was make a lot of money, get high tier troops up, and apparently join the khuzaits, which we are now fighting with the fairly sized western empire, not fun (also crushed rhagaea and the 2 castles the southern empire held after the khuzaits and western empire tore them down) but basically don't join a faction too soon or you will be caught in a loop of death and the constant stealing of your horses.
So video got copyrighted as one of the songs is no longer copyright free. The original song is Biz - Labyrinth for anyone asking. Sorry :(
If you enjoyed the video (or not), consider supporting the channel using these links
✔Help me reach 100K subs! (It's free): ua-cam.com/users/GuidenYT
✨Become a channel member for badges and emotes: ua-cam.com/users/GuidenYTjoin
Check out my favorite E-girl's discord: discord.gg/rainy
We all came here just for Rhagaea
Ask youtube algorithm
I wonder...
@Vasile Mihai Reactor 4?!
Sewer drain?!
Psycho Mantis?!
Second floor basement?!
@Vasile Mihai Specifics?!
Metal Gear?!
Foxdie?!
I feel like I just watched the story of an actual man breaking down and simping.
Hey he then got an empress lol
@@KristofKarwinskithegreat-se5pu
And he redressed her.
But that joke about being dressed like by her mother went right over my head. Long day at work.
@@zhouwu ye hehe
Barry Lindon Byzantium ver.
I mean the difference there in my personal experience is instead of 10,000 dollars, it's two swords and a cabbage.
The empire default character looks pretty *roman*
Ave.
Hey cousin...
ave! true to kaiser.
@@FREECIVVIE *Caesar
AcTuAlLy, he is a Byzantine.
I feel like I just watched a tragedy
pov you are the father
A Greek tragedy
He should've brought back the Eastern Roman Empire instead of simping. I bet Greeks cried when they watched this
@City Watch Guard Genius comment
Hamlet
The Rome tw music is so nostalgic lol
I see that you are a cultured man 👍 i was thinking the same thing!
Gods I love that game, my grandfather loved it too, even before.............
Aimad Tareksson they put his eyes out?
@@thevenator3955 no , it was the dlc spam that did it.
@@ahmadtarek7763 Do you think I'd be out here in the youtube comments without good reason?
lmao the fact you put ASMR glow as Southern Empire makes it even better to me
Thanks for the name cap
Falsely interpreted source, the channel name is Butter ASMR with Derthert.
How to play the Empire as a virgin: *Simps Rhagaea*
How to play the Empire like a Chad:
-Join the Northen Empire, and become senator
-Prove yourself in battle as a skilled warrior and tactician, destroying the western empire.
-Propose marriage to Ira
-Make your own faction
-Kill Lucon and the Northen Empire
-Conquer all Imperial territory for your faction
-Imprison Rhagaea for the crime of "using young men feeling as tools"
-I am the basileus now!
you forgot about the empire's unification quest vs 3 strong factions wheeeze
@@poutykeiki2574 thanks
@@illusive_Man22 from an imperial main to another
@@poutykeiki2574 The Empire shall rise, amd never fall again
Surreal?
I lost it when he showed Basil walking with full gear getting stabbed and not giving a f*** like a boss!
🦕.💨 🦖
LOL that was funny
The part when Basil Basileus is walking and transitions to him wearing some nice Empire armor is top notch Empire propaganda.
“The empire needs you! Service guarantees citezenship!”
@@jeck988 Reject Empire, return to Sturgia.
@@DestroyerOfOgis “everyone’s a sea raider till the forests start speaking Battanian”
@@jeck988 "Everyone's a Fian till the snow starts speaking Sturgian"
everyone's an imperial till the camels start speaking aserian
Im curious, what woman is he going to simp for when he does battania, will be interesting
Corein, daughter of King Caladog would be a fit. In my game, she had combat skills like Caladog put her in Navy Seals training since age 4.
@@LJ-qh5ni isnt she also a head taller than most men and built like a brick house? Waifu material right there boi
@SaviorOfNirn oh right I mistook her for some other character.
In battania nothing matters as long you get the highland crownd helmet
I'm sad no one simps for Ladogual like me.
The woman was saying *Kyrie Eleison* which translates to *Lord, have mercy.*
Sick beat but it was funny knowing what it meant.
Bro it was so well done. Having Basileus strutting throughout was like art
The choice of music and the flag on the beginning is just.... beautiful. Here, have a like...
Absolute Perfection
rip music is gone T_T
The scene of the guy just casually walking around while the brigands are just stabbing and tossint rocks at him made me laugh bad.
"Gimme a raisin gimme a raisin gimme a raisin gimme a rasin"
"Give me a nation give me a nation give me a nation give me a nation give me a nation Give me a nation give me a nation"
Oh God yes. Rome Total War soundtrack time :)
The footage, the story, and most importantly, the music, make this video one of the most hilarious I've ever seen, lord I laughed so hard
I want to see an anti-thot run
Is that profile pic robin hood legend of sharewood?
Ps best game
@@pstt_t9595 you know it brother
1. play as sturgia
2. take the "certain Southern Empire ruler" captive
3. based
The amount of edit put into this makes it even more perfect!
So your Imperial name is Basil, and your family name is Basileus (meaning King/Emperor) and the Sigil is the Two headed eagle with the palaiologos crest, neat.
Edit: the Sigil on this Eagle is Serbian.
Yes, Serbian imperialism all around
@@radomircita9420 *Byzantine Empire
@@ravenstrategist1325 *Roman Empire
@@ravenstrategist1325 *Eastern Roman Empire
@@UnleashedOdinV2 good for you 👍👍
*WHO ARE YOU I AM FROM ANCIENT GREECE*
God I love that meme
Dude, just started this game. My god your content is legendary lol.
That "never mind " had me in tears, honestly the whole time you were chasing that guy I was looking for the inevitable simp joke, and you delivered.
To simp, or not to simp, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous unsniffed socks,
Or to take arms against a sea of shitposters
And by opposing end them. To simp-to sleep,
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to: 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To simp, to sleep;
To sleep, perchance to dream-ay, there's the rub:
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause-there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of Belle Delphine's pornhub account,
Th'oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of dispriz'd love, the law's delay,
The insolence of rejection, and the spurns
That patient merit of th'unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovere'd country, from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make simps of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of financial ruin,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action.
Bravo
C'est bon
TO LONG DIDNT READ
I PICK NORTHERN EMPIRE
MANLY OIL WRESLING
Beautiful. Shakespeare would likely have a chuckle.
@@silvertrimhill9844 We cannot handle how based this guy is over here...
This is unironically one of the best things I've seen on UA-cam.
the 3 clips at the beginning for the 3 empire factions describe them perfectly
- pay Garios' praetorian guard more than he does
- pay Rhaegea's sturgian guard more than she does
- pay Lucon's lictors more than he does
Auto win
Rhagaea's Sturgian guard?? What the hell?? Please tell me it's not real. I don't want to guard Rhagaea.
What's funny about the simping memes is that in the current climate Rhagaea is actually the best choice for becoming Empress simply because her succession method would mend what caused Rome to end up in the Crisis of the Third Century: a poor succession system with no rules.
Simps- thinks of marrying rahegea but ends up losing everything and then have to marry her daughter
Me- kills rahegea and forces her daughter to Marry me
Ok but like how?
And nothing happens when you're married to Ira and kill Rhaega
Ah yes, the Crusader Kings approach
@@rena4825 Capture her and execute her, but marry Ira first
Nathanos can marry Rahegea
These are beautifully edited and hilarious, you have great content!
0:46 rome total war ?
?
@@maosadao6689 the music
IT MUST BE, i was amazed i must say!!!
yep its the main menu theme
Me after joining the Western Empire: Stop Garios, we are surrounded by enemies from Vlandia to Khuzait.
Garios: haha dead soldiers go brrrr
Garios is a warmongering lunatic, but he also gifts your fiefs like they grow on trees and will come like a heat seeking missile to aid you in sieges with his army of 1000 legionnaires.
Once again rewatching this masterpiece
Civilizing the barbarians one Gladius to the heart at a time.
How to marry Rhagaea.
1. Rhagaea will send a marry offer to your brother.
2. Die
3. Play as your Brother.
I fought for the Southern Empire once... then I took an arrow to the knee, started my own faction and lopped off Rhagaea's head.
srsly these videos are so good. and the memes and the music are on point
The way you just walked into the looters got me so hype!!
1:20 Kyrie Eleison is sung by Divina Ljubojevic.
Thank you my good sir
Waited so long for more of these. Thanks bud. 10/10 quality videos
-Joined Southern Empire to marry Rhagea. Got denied cause it's not an option.
-Opted for her daughter. Got denied.
-Tried to marry a random Noble women who is a supporter. Got denied.
-Decided not going to simp, joined the Western Empire, married Nadea and will conquer all.
first 2 are very unbased, 3rd is idk, 4th is extremely based
That Rome 1 soundtrack gets me every time
This is not the original song I fell in love with and made me track this video down, still a good montage
I love that the character looks like a roman emperor
I love your Videos. So much effort into them. Thank you for creating this!
Top kek.
I feel you should have shown more of the progression as you've done previously rather than just 20 seconds of it but otherwise it was wonderful.
Clap
Has anyone ever married a different first woman than Ira?
not me
I.. straight went for sturgian...
Liena and Svana bro
I went for Corein, she a cutie
Shalia is the best quartermaster a man can -buy- marry.
Playing as Empire
*What I expect :* Ave Caesar!
*What actually happened :* Checkmate SIMP
*sees thumbnail* "Huh, i wonder which empire he must be talking about"
*sees purple* "βλέπω ότι είσαι έξυπνο άτομο"
He is truly a man of culture
what purple, purple1, purple2 or purple3?
Gotta hand it to him.
He had an aspiration, and got it. He had to delve into the abyss of Simp. But the abyss did NOT claim him!
URA!
These are great, keep them coming!
1:44
Gimme a lesson
Give me a reason
Give me a raise
Que violência
6:58 The imperial lord has succumbed to the spell of a succubus!
"I'm not taking out the belt, son. Oh no. I'm taking out THE CHAIR."
2:47 I can not stop laughing
Usually, I merc around for a while before I try to pick up a wife, usually the Western Empire, because they usually fight Battania (They lose Lageta like Swadians lose Dhiririm) Battanians have amazingly bad AI tactics and you can stomp on them pretty hard using tier 2-3 units if you use the right formations. And after a few big losses, most will putz around with recruit armies.
Just stay away from Falxmen Jesus christ.
Let every single noble you capture go, I mean like, every single one. It will raise your Charm up to 100 really quickly. Get the right perks, and you can convince someone to marry you with 100% speech checks, no gifts or anything required.
Pluss people in Battania (and any mercenary clans hired by them) will love the shit out of you for all the nobles you let go. Well, the ones that didn't die anyway.
I come back to this gem still.
original music gone :(
0:18 yağla dedik kolonoskobi yap demedik
Can't wait to see which Battanian Waifu you Pick.
2:58 - love that Cataphractaries)
Always starting off looking like a patrician when you pick Northern Empire.
1:18 "Perfection." literally what i thought lmfao. keep it up palouka, love all the references from games of my childhood, even fucking runescape and rome 1 total war lol
*S I M P M A S T E R*
bro your vids are on another level, well done
You character looks like such a cunning schemer, yet a great warrior all in one. It's like someone combined Littlefinger from GOT with Aragorn from LOTR or something.
Guy even looks like Caesar
The music of Total War Rome 1. Magic music
Superb audio editing!
In case anyone is wondering, the Southern Empire girl is ASMR Glow, she's amazing at her craft and you guys should check her out.
And what might that craft be, Mr. Tier 3 subscriber?
@@irishredenjoyer what do you think someone with ASMR in their name might do, Jimbo? Care to take a guess? I'm sure you can figure it out, try sounding it out.
@@TakitowSpice Jimbo? You kiss your mutha with that mouth?
@@TakitowSpice Chill out dude.
@Jamie you know asmr isn't about watching hot chicks? You have actual talents out there and many of them are male
The default empire character looks like Stannis Baratheon.
How to play bannerlord the halal way:
-Join aserai
-No pork
-No ale
-That's it (conquer calradia for extra jannah points)
stay halal brother good job, inshaallah calradia will be yours!
When you greek and hear the song: CRIIIIINGE
As an orthodox Christian hearing our chants trap remixed hurts me both physically and spiritually....of all the things to do that too. Still funny tho.
It really was absolute agony to listen to lol
"O MY GAWD IM ORTHODOX CHRISTIAN AND THIS IS SPIRITUALY HURTFUL"
-some soyboy on UA-cam
I finally understood cultural appropriation once I became Catholic and started to hold things sacred.
@@СнежныйДжони Literally making a joke about a meme dude. Chill.
I unironically love it lol
Damn man....
The Entry into Tavern 🍺 was tho...!!!!!
You nailed it!!!
Tavern Wench was high af... must be fault of illegal AsaCoco ring.
Man, I simply chose Empire for…ROMAN CONQUEST.
What movie is that first clip of? with the "woman" with the hairy chest?
Year one
So did you saw the "hairy chest women" yet?
@@ArchDuke_Romellenios_Lanz Wow thanks for reminding me :)
No I have not, I will go see it soon with a friend.
Have you seen it?
@@Smikkelboy69 yeah
@@ArchDuke_Romellenios_Lanz And did you like it?
The bloody tank, where is the *BLOODY TANK WHEN YOU NEED EM, DRIVE ME CLOSER, I WANNA HIT EM WITH ME SWORD!*
Getting some real koifish/simo vibes from this
Your edits are the best dude
Oh my mount and blade really change I remember playing Warband with mods in pc I wish they release a PS4 version of this with mod support like fallout 4! My pc is not opening BTW
I watched this for multiple times now. in a row and songs are stuck in my head
2:47 Why is our lord just walking into the enemy and getting battered?
Because he is the STRONGEST BADASS
this is your best one yet, and I don't say this as your last ones were bad, but this one, it is especial
video: rebuilding byzantine in a turkish game.
me: wait, thats illegal!
comment section: RoMe ToTaL WaR SoUnDtRaCk
Was that rise of nations music at the beginning 😭😭😭
0:38
*Kyrie Eleison indeed*
It’s because of this video that I in ironically still call the tavern maid ‘Tavern wentch’
I'm fuckin dying. Idk how I haven't seen this.
that intro was a blessing
The flag is indeed perfect .
I thought ASMR Glow was The thing in this vid... but then it just got better and better
Please do one on the western and northern empires us imperials aren't all simps
this was too amazing for words.
Where the fuck is Biz - Labyrinth ?
My playthrough was make a lot of money, get high tier troops up, and apparently join the khuzaits, which we are now fighting with the fairly sized western empire, not fun (also crushed rhagaea and the 2 castles the southern empire held after the khuzaits and western empire tore them down) but basically don't join a faction too soon or you will be caught in a loop of death and the constant stealing of your horses.
0：40 nobody want to know her name?
intresting
ASMR Glow
I could watch this movie and the others from the bannerlord over and over again, soul mate of the sense of humor xD Need more ASAP
Brilliant use of the Rome Total War ost. Also what's that remix of Kyrie Eleison?
Are you greek?
@@γιωργοςΠα-θ3λ No, but I know that's a famous orthodox song
Fantastic video. Superb edits and memes.