Many narcissists know better. They are just mean and nasty people who love to abuse and dominate others. Many narcissists are delusional and imagine or invent excuses to abuse then claim they are the victims.
Dealing with a narcissist is not unlike dealing with a spoilt child. They throw tantrums when they don’t get their own way. Have hissy fits if you say no and have no issue creating chaos just so they can be disruptive. They play “silent treatment” and need to do pay backs etc. if suddenly a person is making you feel like you are back in school there a good chance you have a narcissist in your life.
My favorite thing about these devils? How every conversation assumes you were born yesterday. Its so fun. It just never ends with the crazy. A never ending gobstopper of crazy.
"They're psychologically lazy"...Thank you so much for saying that Dr.C🌞👍🏻👍🏻.So many of us including myself were wrongly accused by narcissists of being lazy when we aren't, it was just projection from them.
Where there is an open mind, there will always be a frontier. For an individual who has a narcissistic personality style, THEY only see a "One Way" sign. Guess whose? THEIRS! Make Your Travel plans NOW to... Stay Healthy!!
Children start out self-centered, but only because they are still getting a feel for the world which surrounds them. However, children are also capable of growing and learning. Many of them learn that they are not the only human beings in life. Narcissists, though, are stunted in that regard. They always expect that the world somehow bend over to their whims, and get mad when it just doesn't happen.
As a person in recovery for 15 years I have grown a lot but by doing hard work. I try consistently to be a good person and reflect on myself and how I can do better! Narcs can't and won't
Narcissists can be fine craftsmen. But you can tell by the projects they have personally created. Most often they sell images of designs they could never create and complete by themselves. They prefer "work smarter, not harder". "A critic is a master of imperfection." cc. ❤
They need to learn: Dignity; the basic needs of humanity. Respect; to have a level playing field with others. Something I forget when trying to be the best version of myself. Civility; to be courteous and polite. It shows a willingness to respect. I remember someone saying to someone else when I was young; “to keep a civil tongue in your head.” I was already polite, so I determined to be polite in my head as well.
@SurvivingNarcissism thanks Dr C. The one master skill they don't have is self- reflection. You can tell how much self-reflection someone has. It's all learning. I didn't understand the fault in empathy until you told me it needs boundaries.
Sorry I had fat thumbs last post. I believe your words of self respect. Narcs feel good hurting,using,putting down others. I know there are degrees but their value system is opposite of conscience. They have an energy that consumes to self promoting goals. Your loss is their gain. What would be their motive to admit their behaviors. The spiritual warfare mentioned in the Bible is a more accurate example of what's going on. They grow but they grow darker and become more dangerous to be around. God bless you and help you in your endeavors Dr. ❤
This is glorious, Dr C. and sounds reasonable, civilized and common sense-like? And "The Golden Rule." ... which has been abandoned somewhere along the way, perhaps, as a result of the abandonment of respect, compassion/empathy.
A two yr old is not capable of hurting people and/or causing their death but a malignant narcissist is. These people are dangerous and at the end of the day, it's a choice. End of Story.
Accountability is completely lacking…my husband’s friend called him out on one of his big lies last night in front of me and my husband visibly jumped and looked scared cause his big secret is out and made him a BIG Hypocrite 😊
They do everything without thought, especially without looking to the future. They react in the moment for what feels good, then later they are like OMG I didn't think
Thank you so much Dr.C, learning involves learning about alot of things not just academic things but that definitely matters. It's good that you brought out that learning is involved in so many things because we are used to that but it is hard to realize that other individuals are different from us and don't learn the way we do.
@@SherryWilson-dk7bo Yes. The most valuable lessons take time and patience. Even when we learn these differences there are always those who insist on being divisive for divisiveness' sake. Alas, they don't just learn differently, they just don't learn. Be well.
Wow there’s half a life’s worth of learning in those skills. They’re all difficult to develop and I think are never really “perfected” for almost anyone…we always have room to grow. I would add a “c”. Narcissists don’t seem to have the meta-cognitive capacity to look at themselves and recognize their own shortcomings in the first place. Isn’t that their biggest issue?
I’m sorry but I find it almost impossible to speak to my narcissistic ex respectfully after disrespecting myself and our child. The worst part is, he doesn’t think he did anything wrong by abusing me in front of our child but when I raise my voice reacting to his abuse I’m suddenly the monster 🤦🏽♀️ the way they try to flip shyt makes me SiiCccKk and then he has the nerve to walk around with his head held high rewarding himself with haircuts every week while not helping financially with his own child..lemme be quiet cause im just getting irritated.😅
This is something they love doing. They use your reactions to their abuse against you to take all attention away from them and their abuse, and to make it look like you are the crazy one or unstable one.
How do narcissists make it thru life with such spiritual disease most of the ones I know are free loaders and homeless some can maintain employment but being so toxic will limit people
We cannot help a Narcissist "grow up" imo, most Narcissists have been trained into being Narcissistic, often by social movements like Feminism, Marxism, etc.
There is much truth to this assessment of most narcissists in the throes of their disorder, without any self development work to overcome these challenges. Although I agree that the focus of safety for the victims of narcissistic abuse is paramount, and should always be the first priority, I have personally seen narcissists who do the work to develop their personalities in the ways that were lacking in childhood. It's rare for them to be this self reflective, but it IS possible.
I agree, Dr. Carter. Reflective thinking before they react...They are psychological lazy. They don't want to & refuse to work on anything. Their sense of entitlement.
I have lost all hope when it comes to my twin. She claims she’s not responsible for anything that has gone wrong in her life. It’s a loooong story. Tired of her abuse.
Narcissists think being grown is only paying the bills and getting to work on time..... It is that but also emotional intelligence. Just because someone has all the trappings of an adult, they may still be an emotional-middle schooler. Even if their behavior is sophisticated it still may be that of an adolescent and a jerk.
I can think of some very famous people who have managed to swagger and to swindle their ways into high-profile positions in life who could possibly benefit from a long talk on this subject, including some pointers on how to recover a sense of proportion, mutuality, and maturity late in life regarding their attitudes toward and treatment of other people. Maybe you can think of some of these fairly obvious characters and offer to do a house call or three, for the good of everyone.
They don’t have enough emotional maturity for these things.
Many narcissists know better. They are just mean and nasty people who love to abuse and dominate others. Many narcissists are delusional and imagine or invent excuses to abuse then claim they are the victims.
They react without thinking so true.
Dealing with a narcissist is not unlike dealing with a spoilt child. They throw tantrums when they don’t get their own way. Have hissy fits if you say no and have no issue creating chaos just so they can be disruptive. They play “silent treatment” and need to do pay backs etc. if suddenly a person is making you feel like you are back in school there a good chance you have a narcissist in your life.
They find nothing wrong with their behaviors.
🎯🎯🎯
They dont want to
Right on. You are right on here.
My favorite thing about these devils? How every conversation assumes you were born yesterday. Its so fun. It just never ends with the crazy. A never ending gobstopper of crazy.
@@marvelherman419 haha! Yep!!
lmfao
Thanks Father
We need to go no contact and stay no contact!
Yep, whenever possible!🎯🎯🎯
4ever!!
"They're psychologically lazy"...Thank you so much for saying that Dr.C🌞👍🏻👍🏻.So many of us including myself were wrongly accused by narcissists of being lazy when we aren't, it was just projection from them.
That’s the game, accuse the ones you are using with your own weaknesses.
If they put as much effort in anything as they do with their lying everything would be great!
Where there is an open mind, there will always be a frontier.
For an individual who has a narcissistic personality style, THEY only see a "One Way" sign.
Guess whose?
THEIRS!
Make Your Travel plans NOW to...
Stay Healthy!!
Well said 👏🏽 ❤
💯❤️
✨🧡✨🎨✨
😮 RIGHT ON DOC. 👍 I KNOW ONE WHO FITS INTO THESE POINTS. UNWILLING.
SELFISH. NO RESPECT. IMPULSIVE. REFLECTIVE THINKING IS NOT ON THEIR MENU.
...But backfiring sure ends up being on their menu😅🤗.
Plotting someone's demise is on their menu, too. They think things through as it relates to their premeditated assault on your life.
Children start out self-centered, but only because they are still getting a feel for the world which surrounds them.
However, children are also capable of growing and learning. Many of them learn that they are not the only human beings in life.
Narcissists, though, are stunted in that regard. They always expect that the world somehow bend over to their whims, and get mad when it just doesn't happen.
This is such a blessing thank you very much😊
Dr. C., I'm so thankful for your expertise. You have helped me heal from narc abuse over 28 years!!
As a person in recovery for 15 years I have grown a lot but by doing hard work. I try consistently to be a good person and reflect on myself and how I can do better! Narcs can't and won't
Narcissists can be fine craftsmen. But you can tell by the projects they have personally created. Most often they sell images of designs they could never create and complete by themselves.
They prefer "work smarter, not harder".
"A critic is a master of imperfection."
cc. ❤
A mind is a horrible thing to waste. It's a beautiful thing to create things, and use it for the help of others.
They need to learn:
Dignity; the basic needs of humanity.
Respect; to have a level playing field with others. Something I forget when trying to be the best version of myself.
Civility; to be courteous and polite. It shows a willingness to respect. I remember someone saying to someone else when I was young; “to keep a civil tongue in your head.” I was already polite, so I determined to be polite in my head as well.
So well stated, Ross!
@SurvivingNarcissism thanks Dr C. The one master skill they don't have is self- reflection. You can tell how much self-reflection someone has. It's all learning. I didn't understand the fault in empathy until you told me it needs boundaries.
Very true, Sir! Thank you for these very useful & helpful tips of advice!
Parents, friends, environment are crucial in all too
Sorry I had fat thumbs last post. I believe your words of self respect. Narcs feel good hurting,using,putting down others. I know there are degrees but their value system is opposite of conscience. They have an energy that consumes to self promoting goals. Your loss is their gain. What would be their motive to admit their behaviors. The spiritual warfare mentioned in the Bible is a more accurate example of what's going on. They grow but they grow darker and become more dangerous to be around. God bless you and help you in your endeavors Dr. ❤
This is glorious, Dr C. and sounds reasonable, civilized and common sense-like? And "The Golden Rule." ... which has been abandoned somewhere along the way, perhaps, as a result of the abandonment of respect, compassion/empathy.
Mine was he was always 20 years old.he liked being that
Way.
In his 50s he liked acting like
Young person
Perpetual college boys. 👶
Mine is almost 61 and he acts like he’s 12.
Excellent advice and we need to understand that narcs won't learn to grow psychologically. VIP information.
Since a narcissist is only as emotionally mature as a 2 year old then that’s how they’re going to behave.
Mine threw tantrums.
A two yr old is not capable of hurting people and/or causing their death but a malignant narcissist is. These people are dangerous and at the end of the day, it's a choice. End of Story.
@@sherrymurphy855 A 2 yr-old in an adult's body certainly is, in MANY ways!
yup.
thank you. i need ur help
Growth is hard but doable.
Accountability is completely lacking…my husband’s friend called him out on one of his big lies last night in front of me and my husband visibly jumped and looked scared cause his big secret is out and made him a BIG Hypocrite 😊
thank you the points of adult respectful ways to be and how tp be for health
No narcissist will ever cultivate those skills.......
Amen ❤❤❤
You know the narcissist doesn't do all those things that we all are supposed to do.
Personal Integrity.
Narcs just hide behind a persons & there isn’t anyone behind that mask… just like the Wizard of Oz
They do everything without thought, especially without looking to the future. They react in the moment for what feels good, then later they are like OMG I didn't think
They react with thinking.butthats not for self refelction ,but time andpause for more manipulation
Thank you🎉.. this message is for everyone to work on themselves. Thank you for helping me to learn to discern.
Thank you so much Dr.C, learning involves learning about alot of things not just academic things but that definitely matters. It's good that you brought out that learning is involved in so many things because we are used to that but it is hard to realize that other individuals are different from us and don't learn the way we do.
Indeed ❣️✨️
@@SherryWilson-dk7bo Yes. The most valuable lessons take time and patience. Even when we learn these differences there are always those who insist on being divisive for divisiveness' sake. Alas, they don't just learn differently, they just don't learn.
Be well.
Walk in silents never go back
Doc, your vídeos até sólido Gold in enduring this evil and diabolical hell that It is.
Yes! Thank You 🙏🏼
Narc recognised all that in me and chosed me as victim.
Boundaries 😉
Wow there’s half a life’s worth of learning in those skills. They’re all difficult to develop and I think are never really “perfected” for almost anyone…we always have room to grow.
I would add a “c”. Narcissists don’t seem to have the meta-cognitive capacity to look at themselves and recognize their own shortcomings in the first place. Isn’t that their biggest issue?
I’m sorry but I find it almost impossible to speak to my narcissistic ex respectfully after disrespecting myself and our child. The worst part is, he doesn’t think he did anything wrong by abusing me in front of our child but when I raise my voice reacting to his abuse I’m suddenly the monster 🤦🏽♀️ the way they try to flip shyt makes me SiiCccKk and then he has the nerve to walk around with his head held high rewarding himself with haircuts every week while not helping financially with his own child..lemme be quiet cause im just getting irritated.😅
This is something they love doing. They use your reactions to their abuse against you to take all attention away from them and their abuse, and to make it look like you are the crazy one or unstable one.
How do narcissists make it thru life with such spiritual disease most of the ones I know are free loaders and homeless some can maintain employment but being so toxic will limit people
Did you get again describes police and law-enforcement?
Psychologically lazy!!! Well put!! Wow this made my day THANK YOU❤
Being human.....
Amen absolutely 💯💯
I choose to grow until I die.
Exactly
Well said❤
We cannot help a Narcissist "grow up" imo, most Narcissists have been trained into being Narcissistic, often by social movements like Feminism, Marxism, etc.
How does Marxism make someone turn narcissist?
Actually it’s just lack of separation from mommy & you’re a misogynist so guessing that you’re also a narcissist
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 THAT TRUE FACTS
It’s the only time in their lives, it’s never about them! When it comes to their poor behaviors.
Spot on.
True
Does Narcissist know that he/she Narcissist?
There is much truth to this assessment of most narcissists in the throes of their disorder, without any self development work to overcome these challenges. Although I agree that the focus of safety for the victims of narcissistic abuse is paramount, and should always be the first priority, I have personally seen narcissists who do the work to develop their personalities in the ways that were lacking in childhood. It's rare for them to be this self reflective, but it IS possible.
@LauraCooper-nu1re
How old were these narcissists who made progress?
@ND-or5so one of them is in his 40s, the other is a senior.
Attention for all the wrong reasons
❤we grow up.
All of these are way too high level of cognitive functions for them🥴
I know a lot of people that can't master growth poor things.🙄😊
Nope not narcissists they are very childish 😂
I agree, Dr. Carter. Reflective thinking before they react...They are psychological lazy. They don't want to & refuse to work on anything. Their sense of entitlement.
I have lost all hope when it comes to my twin. She claims she’s not responsible for anything that has gone wrong in her life. It’s a loooong story. Tired of her abuse.
@@angelameyer3709 hopefully not conjoined twin?
In one of your talks, you mentioned mirroring the behavior of the victim of the narcissist. Do you have a discussion on that topic?
Narcissists think being grown is only paying the bills and getting to work on time..... It is that but also emotional intelligence. Just because someone has all the trappings of an adult, they may still be an emotional-middle schooler. Even if their behavior is sophisticated it still may be that of an adolescent and a jerk.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I can think of some very famous people who have managed to swagger and to swindle their ways into high-profile positions in life who could possibly benefit from a long talk on this subject, including some pointers on how to recover a sense of proportion, mutuality, and maturity late in life regarding their attitudes toward and treatment of other people. Maybe you can think of some of these fairly obvious characters and offer to do a house call or three, for the good of everyone.
I can think of some who are quite prominent, but my guess is I wouldn’t be allowed in the front door.
❤
Did you get again describes police and law-enforcement?
❤we grow up.